#I 100% get laudna’s points and I agreed with her about some stuff

[alliekitaguchi]

one thing I’m hoping is addressed in future episodes is the fact that laudna sometimes acts like she’s the only one who’s ever been through her own trauma. and yes, what she’s been through is AWFUL, but everyone has been through something

- laudna was tricked, tortured, hung, revived, and wandered the world for about 30 years by herself before she found Imogen (though Marisha has stated there was someone before Imogen, but that hasn’t come up in game yet), and then died again, before being revived again. she has delilah in her head, which is Not Great, but laudna consciously brought her back

- imogen was abandoned by her mother at a young age and grew up with an absent father, who revered her as a freak, and was an outcast everywhere she went

- fearne was abandoned by her parents and has had her life be in the hands of others for over 100 years, mainly her “grandmother”, who has been stretching their time together to keep her longer. she’s also been killed, and found out that she was a purposefully made by a villain for some nefarious purposes

- ashton lives every single day in pain, grew up in a cult, died, woke up in a new body that was broken, didn’t know anything about himself, has been alone since he was a child, exploded into a thousand pieces before painfully reforming with new, more “broken” body parts

- fcg was an assassin bot that sat untouched for 2,000 years before being brought to life and thrown headfirst into society with no help or instructions, and then died tragically

- chetney has lived over 300 years by himself because his family abandoned him and he had to come to terms with the fact that they’re all likely dead, and the loss messed him up so bad that he’s avoided making meaningful connections with people ever since, and he literally JUST died, was revived, and watched the person who deemed him worthy of saving sacrifice themself

- orym watched the love of his life and his father figure be cut down in front of him, watched his friend accept a cursed crown that permanently changed her, was killed and revived

there’s no denying that she’s been through something horrendous, but she has to make the conscious choice to get better. to quote matt & marisha both: laudna is an addict, and she digs herself into her grief so deeply that she can’t see the cracks in everyone else.

she was right that orym should’ve talked to the whole group before taking otohan’s sword, but she was a hypocrite because she tried to steal it off of him. the sword is the source of her trauma, but it’s the source of orym’s too. she told chetney to not talk to her about loss after learning just mere weeks ago that he lost his entire family in one day.

i thought dorian put it beautifully: “it’s just a thing.” it only holds power over you if you let it. she’s dead. the blade no longer hurts you unless you let it.

there’s something so riveting about watching the nuances of trauma unfold in juicy, juicy ways

[redjennies]

I 100% agree that PCs shouldn't be dying like this to further another character's development. I wouldn't like it for any character but I'm already lukewarm bordering on uninterested in Imogen, no flack to Laura, so not my cup of tea.

Credit to Matt where credit is due, he does a lot for these stories and elements that seem rough or odd can turn around, but oh boy. If he can turn this around I'll be impressed because this was so railroaded (derogatory). Otohan was designed to jump around the map and had no trouble reading the Hells' minds so any attempt at negotiating could just become: I'm going to steal the information from your head and continue killing because Imogen still hasn't done what I wanted. Once they entered that encounter, barring miracle rolls, they weren't getting out until they were let out.

Then there's the final wisdom save which felt like an "oh shit if I don't do something the whole party is going to die" decision. Because yes it made sense for the character but it took the decision to not let go out of Laura's hands because killing her friends apparently wasn't motivating Imogen to pick the "right answer" and if she didn't let go the rest of the party would be taken down because Otohan is just Like That apparently.

It was just frustrating.

was kinda holding onto this one because it is honestly summing up everything I feel about the situation once I put my emotions aside.

the one thing I'll extrapolate on is as you touched on, I don't think Matt is a bad DM. I think Matt is normally a very good DM but this was bad DMing and I think these almost rookie-ieh cheap tactics are beneath his ability. this was bad DMing regardless of anything else. there were ways to up the stakes, there are ways to kill player characters, without doing -- *gestures broadly* that. I saw someone describe this combat as "feeling like a cut scene where you're supposed to lose" and I fully agree. this was some Kai Leng from Mass Effect 3 bullshit and that is one of the worst insults I can give a RPG, even more so to a TTRPG. it stops being D&D and starts being just a show when you start doing stuff like this and if people like that, then that's fine for them, but I'm not watching if that's the direction the series is going in. I'm not wasting hours of my life listening to other people argue about what to do next just so combat can become essentially cutscenes. I'm not getting invested in characters who are considered secondary.

like as it dragged on even Laura couldn't stop it and what is the point of roleplay or combat or player choice if we're doing that? I can't get into the whole Poetic Dice Rolls when bad dice rolls are the only way to end it. what should have been a beautiful moment in Imogen and Laudna's relationship, regardless of your read on it, is undercut by Matt making it all feel so forced. Laudna's decisions didn't matter, Chetney's decisions didn't matter, and Imogen's decisions didn't matter. Orym wasn't even given a choice. the only people you can even remotely argue had any agency were Fearne who kept wandering back into the fray and Ashton who successfully ran away. in my book, that's bad DMing no matter how you slice it, and my semi-sincere, semi-passive aggressive apologies for thinking Matt is so much better than that. he made a series of decisions that someone with his experience had to know would piss a bunch of veteran D&D players off and so long as I'm not harassing him over it, it's not really my fault as a viewer for hating it when it's breaking every common sense rule of how to be a DM. it doesn't make him a bad person or the Worst DM Ever, but he really should have thought better than to do something so tacky.

anyway this really is the last of what I have to say about it. I really appreciate everyone thanking me and sending me well wishes in the inbox. 💕 the good has truly outweighed the bad both in the past 24 hours and in the past two years, but this is my stop and I have to get off now.