#I CANNOT MAKE DRAMTIC ENDINGS

[bisexualalexclaremontdiaz]

The Magpie and Her Bandit (cuz I’m bad at titles): Chapter 1

I don’t usually post my fics, but I was feeling courageous so... This takes place about 8 years after Supernova when Maggie and Max are in Grade 12. This is in Maggie’s POV, but the next one will be in Max’s. This isn’t edited so don’t be too harsh. Other Chapters

The necklace shone brightly in the midday sun, catching the eyes of many of the surrounding people. The lady wearing it seemed to know this and had a haughty look on her face as she made her way down the street. Maggie knew this lady as Mrs. Mallard, a rich widow who never missed a chance to show off her wealth. She was arrogant and rude and Maggie felt no pity as she used her telekinesis to undo the clasp. The necklace dropped and the bustle of the busy street kept anyone from noticing. Maggie picked the necklace from the ground and quietly pocketed it. Then she casually walked away, towards the Everharts'. 

No longer a mansion, the Everharts lived in a nice four bedroom house. This was more than enough for the three people who lived there, Max, Hugh and Simon. When she finally reached the house she knocked on the door, shivering in the cold November air.

"It's open" called Simon from inside.

Maggie quickly went into the warm house, locking the door behind her.

"You should really keep it locked," she said, "someone might break-in."

"Oh don't be so paranoid." Simon said, "Besides, Hugh just went out to grab something. He'll be back in a bit, so I didn't bother to lock it. No big deal."

Maggie rolled her eyes. These people had forgotten what it was like to live with caution. Luckily she still remembered how to live safe.

"Is Max upstairs?" She asked. When Simon nodded she headed to his room.

When she entered the room, Maggie saw that Max was working on his scale model of the old renegades building. She flopped onto his bed and picked up the book at his bedside.

"Architecture For Dummies?" Maggie said "Do you really need this? You're already great at architecture and all that junk."

"Maybe," Max said doubtfully "but the others who are applying to the college are too."

Max had decided a few years back that he wanted to become an architect. He worked tirelessly throughout high school and now that they were in their last year, Max was working harder than ever. 

"Oh come on," Maggie said, trying to motivate him "No one can out-nerd you." Suddenly something caught Maggie's eye.

"Hey, what's that?" She asked, using her telekinesis to pull it towards her.

Max snatched it out of the air. 

"Not something for you to steal."

"I wasn't gonna steal it."

"Sure," Max said sarcastically. "This is too important for you to take. It's an engagement ring!"

"For who?"

"Nova," Max said enthusiastically. 

"Hate to break it to you, but she's already taken." Maggie smirked "And by your own brother no less! You must feel so betrayed."

Max rolled his eyes. "Adrian is gonna propose to Nova and he wanted me to keep it hidden until then. He knows Nova will find it if he keeps it in their apartment."

"So the Galton's favourite couple is finally tying the knot," Maggie said dryly. "You must be excited."

"As a matter of fact, I am," Max said. " I know you don't like Nova, but this is going to make her and my brother happy."

"Whatever," Maggie said. Secretly though, she was happy that Adrian was going to be happy. He was always nice to her. Even when he caught her stealing.

"That's the spirit!" Max said, knowing that Maggie was happier then she let on.

Maggie's stomach growled. 

"Want to go get something to eat?" Max asked.

"Ooh, tacos!"

"We had tacos on Wednesday. I want pizza."

"We always get pizza. How about shawarmas?"

"Fine"

When they reached the shawarma place they saw that Ruby was there already. Despite Maggie's protests, Max insisted on saying hi. 

"Hey, Ruby!" Max called.

Ruby turned and waved. Max and Maggie made their way over to her.

"Hey, guys! How are you?" She asked, "Maggie, I haven't seen you in so long."

"We're fine" Max answered for her.

"Oscar's coming from the bathroom," Ruby said. "Do you guys want to join us?" 

Max agreed before Maggie could make up some sort of excuse. When Oscar returned from the bathroom he greeted them. He and Maggie then went to order food while Ruby and Max chatted.

"So Magpie," said Oscar "how's life been treating you?"

Maggie had always liked Oscar since he wasn't nearly as rude as Nova. Plus he always used to treat her like a little sister. That is, before he and Ruby moved in together. Now all he had time for was Ruby.

"Fine I guess," she said, "How have you been?"

"Good." He said, then his eyes softened "I've missed hanging out with you though."

Maggie felt her heart go soft. She missed him too. Then she remembered that this was how life was. People always left you and you couldn't blame them. They would always find someone better.

"Yeah, well." She muttered.

Oscar opened mouth to say something but before he could the cashier called them to order. After they ordered, they sat back down with their Max and Ruby. They started to discuss Adrian's plan to propose. Ruby and Max went on and on about the flowers and decoration ideas they had. When the food finally came, Maggie hoped it would make them shut up. She had no such luck. By the end of the meal, she wanted to tear her ears out. 

"This was nice," said Max.

"Definitely," said Ruby. "We should double date more often."

"Whoa now!" Maggie said, "Max and I are just friends."

"Really? I could have sworn..." She started under her breath.

"Oh yes!" Max said enthusiastically "Maggie and I are just friends."

He looked at Ruby pointedly, "Nothing more."

A look of understanding came over Ruby’s face.

Maggie was slightly confused with Max's behaviour. She shrugged it off, telling herself that he was bothered by Ruby's idea. This irritated her. Was it that terrible to be considered her boyfriend? 

Maggie used to have a crush on Max when they first became friends, but, not wanting to risk their friendship, she let those feelings fade away. She actually told Max about this a couple of months ago and they both laughed it off. However, he had been acting strange since then. Maybe he was starting to doubt their friendship. Maggie's heart dropped. What should she expect? People always left her eventually. Even her sister left her.

"Hey, Mags, are you okay?" Max asked as they were walking back to his house.

"I told you not to call me Mags." Maggie said, "It's sounds like rags." She did not want to be called rags.

"Sorry," Max said. Then he looked at her, concerned. "Are you upset about what Ruby said? She didn't know."

"No that's no big deal." She smiled at him "We're pretty much used to it by now, aren't we?"

It was true. People had always thought they were dating. Probably since they were always together. Was she becoming too clingy? Her doubts began to rise again.

“Oh,” Max exclaimed, “How about we go to the Cosmopolis Park?”

In the last few years, Cosmopolis Park had become incredibly popular. Everyone wanted to visit the place where the famous Nova and Adrian had their first date. Maggie had never been a fan of amusement parks, but Max loved them so she usually went along with him.

“Fine,” Maggie sighed. It couldn’t hurt, could it?

Looking back, Maggie wished she had said no.

[runnning-outof-time]

1K Followers Celebration — Blurbs and Fic Recs

This is where all of the links to the blurbs I’ve created, and fics I recommend, for my 1K Follower Celebration will accumulate.

Blurbs:

— Wedding Night Chats - Arthur Shelby

— Hold Your Own - John Shelby

— Promise - Tommy Shelby

— For No Reason - Arthur Shelby

— Don’t Go Just Yet - John Shelby

— Busted - Shelby Brothers

— Well, What About the Dog? - Tommy Shelby

— The Sweetest Moment - Tommy Shelby

— Overtime - Tommy Shelby

— Good Morning, Beautiful - Tommy Shelby

— Just Like Dad - Tommy x Charlie

— Send Someone Else - Arthur Shelby

— When the Dust Settles - Tommy Shelby

— Something to Come Home To - Tommy Shelby

— Welcome to the Family - The Shelby Ladies

— Nothing Left to Say - Tommy Shelby

— It’ll Be You - Tommy Shelby

— Where’ve You Been? - Tommy Shelby

— Stop the Fighting - Tommy Shelby

— Out for Some Fun - John Shelby

— Some Exciting News - Tommy Shelby

— Meet the Parents - Tommy Shelby

— Alone Time - John Shelby

Fic Recs:

I’ve still got some more fics to read, but I wanted to add some in an effort to start showing love to these amazing fics.

**these are not listed in any particular order**

— Doting and Dramtic (Tommy x Reader) by @gilmoreslorelai - I absolutely loved the playfulness in this fic as well as the sweet moments between Tommy and the reader...it’s a comfort fic of mine for sure.

— All We’d Ever Need (Tommy x Reader) by @look-at-the-soul - this little series has swept me off my feet and has made me feel so many emotions. I can’t wait to see how everything pans out.

— Cursed (Shelby!sister) by @theshelbyclan - oh my goodness did this story rip at my heart!! I absolutely loved how the sibling relations were explored and the premise of it was so hauntingly beautiful.

— Don’t Let Her Go (Tommy x Reader) by @toms-cherry-trees - this fic shocked me in the most unexpected way. I started out thinking I was reading one thing and literally gasped when I realized what was going on. This is a beautiful read for sure!

— Perfect Day (Tommy x May) by @zablife - Tommy and May are my fav couple on peaky and this story gave them ending that they truly deserved.

— Little Love (John x Reader) by @disasterofastory - I loved this fic because I can most definitely see John acting like this if he were ever placed in this situation. It’s most certainly a story you read if you need a laugh.

— The Garden Party (Tommy x Reader) by @holacia2 - another series that I’m absolutely in love with! The backstory and the love that she and Tommy have for each other despite everything is so beautifully written. I cannot wait to see where it goes.

— Choices (Luca x Reader) by @noforkingclue - this story is so deliciously dark and intriguing. The amount of backstory that’s given makes you feel like you’ve read an entire novel and you know everything there is to about these characters. It makes the story that plays out so much more interesting to read.

— Tommy Blurb (Tommy x Reader) by @gypsy-girl-08 - I almost cried while reading this story. It’s pretty eye opening and makes you think just how the show would have panned out had this actually happened.

— Longest Train I Ever Saw (Tommy x Reader) by @peakyswritings - prewar!Tommy is an absolute fav of mine and this story was so beautifully written. I’ve never read a story with a scenario quite like this one, and it’s certainly one that causes a lot of yearning (in the best kind of way).

— I Do (Tommy x Reader) by @l1-l4 - I absolutely loved this story because of the back and forth between the two of them as well as the situation that they find themselves in just before their wedding...it seems perfectly normal for the lives they live though.

— Tommy Blurb (Tommy x Reader) by @creme-bruhlee - I absolutely love the fluffiness of this fic. Just Tommy being frazzled/needing his wife after being shot, and then him thinking he’s not good enough for her when he’s really all she needs is just absolutely beautiful!

— Sweetheart (Tommy x Reader) by @teenwolf-theoriginals - some of my fav fics are the ones where the reader goes toe-to-toe with Tommy in regards to wittiness, and this has to be one of the best yet! The conversations in this are to die for, and I absolutely loved the ending!

— Coming Home (Arthur x Reader) by @mysticaldeanvoidhorse - I really loved the love story that was built behind this fic. Arthur truly deserves someone who will be by his side and support him and this story encapsulated that beautifully.

— Three’s A Crowd (Tommy x Reader x Arthur) by @retromafia - this idea, and story, was so very intriguing. The world that was created and the storylines that were introduced were so very well thought out, and it explores such heart-gripping topics very beautifully.

— My Guiding Lights (Tommy x Reader) by @mrsalwayswrite - this story is so beautifully described and gives such a raw look into Tommy’s thoughts and feelings. It’s always interesting when we get to have a look into characters’ thought processes, and this one is done perfectly.

— Punch-Drunk Love (Tommy x Reader) by @huntingingoodwill - I absolutely love fics where the reader goes toe-to-toe in wits with Tommy and this one displays that beautifully. I love that even though Tommy had the upper hand, she still got the last laugh.

— Runaway Princess (Arthur x Reader) by @mythos-writes - I absolutely loved the sweetness in this story. It’s so good to see Arthur finally getting the love that he deserves from a partner.

— Rebellion (Tommy x Reader) by @helio-nex - this one hurt my heart, but to see the amount comfort in the conversation he had with his daughter served to heal me slightly. Beautifully, beautifully written.

— Minor Key (Modern!Tommy x Reader) by @shelbydelrey - I loved the internal struggle of the reader that was laid out in this story. It called to attention and interwove all of the pieces so beautifully, and a difficult decision was made indeed.

[volleychumps]

hii! can I request headcanons/scenario (up to you) to kuroo's first year sister becoming nekoma's manager (also kuroo is a little overprotective) and the team going to a training camp with the others for the fist time? thank you in advance!

 Awh yes of course this prompt made my heart go !!! This is a tad crack-filled but it has its’ sappy moments, I hope you enjoy!!

The Younger Kuroo

----------------------

“And what do we say when a boy asks for your number?” 

“Oh please, jump into my bed. I’ve been waiting.” 

You dodge the thump to the forehead from Kuroo’s thumb as you hide behind a cackling Yaku, who wiped a tear from his eyes at the promise of death in your older brother’s eyes. 

“No. Try again.” 

“I’m not five~” you whine, stretching your legs out from the slightly cramped bus ride. You loved Lev like a brother, but his legs hardly gave you any room to sit comfortably. Said boy hadn’t even realized until towards the end of the ride, panicking and taking your bags up for you as an apology with a sheepish grin on his cat-like features. 

Kai thumps your head for Kuroo, causing you to protest. “Kai! I’m supposed to be your favorite!” 

“Keep making jokes about bringing boys into your bed and you won’t be.” 

“Um sir, I’m actually going to be sleeping on a futon-” 

You dodge the next flick to your head, grumbling about how your brother’s team abuses their own manager as you run ahead to catch up with Kenma, ignoring the agitated calls for your ass to get back there from your brother. 

Kuroo rolls his eyes at the actions of his younger sister, watching Kenma show you what he was playing as Yaku brings a hand up to his neck, the three third-years watching with slightly worried expressions as their little sister figure hops onto Inuoka’s back. 

“Will she really be okay?” 

“She’s smart. She can take care of herself.” 

“MORI, INUOKA ATE MY COOKIES!” 

“I BOUGHT THEM FOR YOU-”

“Inuoka don’t steal her snacks! She’s still growing!” 

Kuroo sighs, the captain raising a hand to his eyes as Kai grins lopsidedly next to him, looking a little apologetic. 

“Nevermind. She’s a dumbass.” 

“So...we should worry about her?” 

This would be a long training camp. 

--------------------------------------

“Yamamoto, bend your knees a little more.” You instruct, resting a hand on the boy’s back as Yamamoto nervously looks to the side in case Kuroo was looking. You roll your eyes, applying more pressure. Your brother’s overprotective nature was funny at times, but not when it got into your duties as team manager. 

“Are you really her?!” 

“Bokuto, I said no!” 

You blink, hiding behind Yamamoto on instinct as a boy with burly arms and silver hair came running towards you, excitement brimmed in his gold irises as Kuroo holds his collar with an irk mark. A second guy with slightly disheveled hair came walking in tow, hands stuffed in his pockets as if this were an every day occurence. You focus in on their shirts. Fukurodani Academy. 

“Huh? Wait...” The Fukurodani member looks deep in thought. “She’s like, totally cute. What happened to you?” 

“Akaashi, please claim your pet.” Kuroo snips, but before the second boy can step forward, you’re laughing and stepping out from your hiding place and extending a hand to the silver haired boy, who grips it excitedly as he ignores Kuroo’s protests. 

“I’m Kuroo Y/N! The totally cuter sibling.” 

“Bokuto Kotaro! You can call me Bokuto onee-chan!” 

“No you cannot.” 

“...Bo onee-chan?” you offer a bit timidly, ignoring the glower from your older brother as you hide your smirk. 

Bokuto swooned, causing the second boy to nudge him, an amused look tickling his features as he bows respectfully. 

“Akaashi Keiji.” 

“Keiji-Kun?” You grin, and the blue-eyed boy takes on a look of surprise and seems to ponder it for a moment, nodding his head before bowing again. 

“We’ll be taking our leave, Kuroo-san.” 

“Call me Y/N!” You call, the setter turning slightly in their depart to nod to you as Bokuto fist pumps the air, claiming you were totally his type before you zone in on your unamused older brother, whose arms were crossed as you grin a little sheepishly. 

“You’re telling me you know those two hotties and you’ve never bothered to set me up?” 

“Y/N-” 

“Joking! It was a joke!” You say a little too quickly, jogging off to encourage Kenma to get his ass off the bench as Kuroo groans, tugging Kai and Yaku off to the sidelines. 

“...yeah. we might need to worry.” 

“What are you talking about?” Mori laughs. “She’s not a kid, Kuroo. We don’t need to look after her as much as we did before.”

---------------------------------------

“Literally fuck what I said before.” 

“Just how the hell did she manage to befriend the whole Karasuno team?” Kuroo grits out, Bokuto chuckling to his side as Akaashi reminds Kuroo not to snap his chopsticks in half. 

“Even Tsukki isn’t telling her to leave his sight. Is she magic or what?” 

The event where you were sitting between the vice-captain and wing spiker of the Karasuno team during that evening meal had begun when the captain had accidentally sent a receive towards your head, the goregous team manager managing to protect you in time with a swift wave of her hand. The vice-captain had rushed up to you in a hurry, apologizing profusely before the hyper libero invited you to come eat dinner with them, claiming he would buy you anything you wanted from the snack vendors afterwards. 

“Daichi, if you don’t stop apologizing, I will press charges.” You warn, placing more rice in your mouth as Yachi giggles from across you, eyes curious. 

“It’s hard to believe you’re Kuroo-san’s little sister, Y/N.” 

“You’re not scary...at all. Are you sure you two are related?” Hinata blanches, pretending he can’t see the glower from the captain across the cafeteria. You shrug, shooing the offered fried katsu from Sugawara’s chopsticks away. 

“Eat, Suga. I’m not dead.” You huff, turning to reply to your new friend. “And Hinata, don’t talk with your mouth full. Sadly, we came from the same womb and he was my first bully.”

The fact that you were both first years made you get along easily with the freckled boy, Yachi, Hinata, and even the genius blue-eyed setter and the tall middle blocker managed to engage in conversation with you one or two times. You noticed that the boy who claimed a little too boisterously to call him “Tanaka-Senpai” and the libero “Nishinoya-senpai” were looking at you with stars in your eyes before cutting you off mid-conversation. 

“Was being saved by Kiyoko a mesmerizing experience?” 

“Daichi, why don’t you throw a volleyball at their head so they can see?” 

“Suga, I said I was sorry, I feel bad enough!”

“You hurt a kouhai!” Suga over dramticizes, playfully creating a human shield between you and the captain. “You don’t even deserve to look at her!” 

You laugh, the laugh dwindling slightly when you meet Kuroo’s eyes from across the room. The team all look down at once, Lev pouting and Yaku seeming to be a little more quiet as Yamamoto and Fukunaga pretend to carry on a conversation. 

The captain looks away quickly, and you frown, focusing on your meal. It looks like you were going to have an unexpected team meeting tonight. 

----------------------------

“All right. Why is everyone on edge?” You throw the door open, not even flinching when some of your boys were in the middle of putting their shirts on. Lev and Inuoka both squeal overdramatically, covering their bodies. 

“Y/N you perv!” 

“Oh shut up, you always walk around shirtless and I say nothing!” You protest, plopping down in your brother’s futon. “Where is Kuroo anyway?” 

“Out. You know you can’t be in the boys’ dorms this late, Y/N. Do you want me to walk you?” Yaku crosses his arms strictly, and you sidle up to Kenma before resting your head on his shoulder tiredly, the boy you grew up with not even reacting as he continues to tap away on his console. 

“Nope.” You pop the p. “I just feel like I should say something. So gather around, chums.” 

“What, are you british now?” 

“Lev I seem to remember asking you to gather around, not hit me with an attitude.” You reply sassily, clapping your hands together. “Group circle. Now.” 

“She does have that captain vibe.” Yamamoto mumbles to Fukunaga as he simply nods in response. As your boys gather, you wait for them to settle before starting. 

“Okay, so welcome to alcoholic’s anonymous-” 

“Never mind. She doesn’t have a captain vibe, I must’ve been crazy.”

“Hi I’m Inuoka, and-

“Get to the point Y/N.” Kai says seriously as he yawns. You cross your legs, pressing the off button on Kenma’s console before looking at each of them individually, a seriousness in your eyes that was rarely there. 

“You do know I love you guys, right? Just because we’re at a training camp doesn’t mean I like the other teams more than I like you...so I wanted to say I’m sorry if it seemed like I was being a little neglectful...” You trail off, fiddling with your fingers. “I know some of you see me as your younger sister, and I really really don’t want you guys to feel like you guys are replaceable, because you aren’t.” 

You look up to see a mixture of surprise as some near tears (Lev and Inuoka) before you hastily add,  “And thus that ends my cheesy speech. Anyway, I struggle with high-amounts of alcohol consumption-” 

You’re cut off when the first years tackle you into a hug, crying they’re really glad you’re their manager as you struggle to breathe. You look up after you manage to shove them off, Yaku ruffling your hair as Kai crosses his arms with a satisfied grin on his face. Even Kenma had a little smile on his face before turning his console back on. 

“Sis.” 

You freeze up. It was time to face the final boss. Your head turns to sheepishly smile at Kuroo before he rolls his eyes, jutting his head to the side slightly. 

“I’ll walk you out.” 

“Goodnight Y/N!” 

“We love you!” 

“Speak for yourself-” 

“Shut up Kenma, we know you do.” 

-------------------------

“So you heard?” You walk next to your older brother, arms swinging loosely as Kuroo hums in response, hands shoved in his jacket pockets. 

“It was nice for you to clarify.” Kuroo speaks after a few brief moments of comfortable silence. “For awhile, we were the only team that didn’t have a manager to deal with us, so I’m not surprised they got a little worried seeing you cozy up to other teams. One might say even a little possessive.” 

Kuroo stops, and you turn curiously to face your brother. 

“It honestly makes me really scared to think one of these bastards might steal my little sister away. None of them are deserving of you, and I’ll be damned if I let you think that they are.”

You blink. Kuroo saying nice things seemed to only happen once in a blue moon. 

“Tetsurou-nii.” You say softly, tugging on Kuroo’s sleeve. “I’m not a kid anymore, you know? I’m not that middle schooler that always followed you and your friends around, having an unexplainable crush on Kenma-” 

“Get to the point.” 

“I’m happy you care.” You hug him, feeling Kuroo relax into your embrace. “But you gotta let me grow up some day, you know? And that thing about none of the team being replaceable?” 

Your grip tightens just a little more. “You’re the one it applies to the most. You’re my one and only older brother who pisses me off at times, but...I...ugh god....why is this so hard? I uh... l-love you, big bro.” 

You feel a hand rest on the top of your head as Kuroo sighs. “I love you too, little sis, so stop saying gross stuff.” 

“Then don’t pout at me from across the cafeteria!” 

“Who the hell was pouting? Me? You must be losing your sight, crazy woman.” 

“At least my hair doesn’t look like a duck’s ass.” 

“At least I’m tall.” 

“Don’t be bitter because you weren’t apart of our alcoholic’s anonymous meeting-” 

and so, both Kuroo’s walked and laughed all the way to the girls’ housing, the atmosphere significantly lighter than it had once been. 

---------------------------

“What business do you have with our manager, oi?” 

“Yamamoto, let Tanaka and Noya say bye.” You scold, highfiving them with both hands before Daichi approaches, Sugawara by his side as the captain of Karasuno hands you a steaming bag of Taiyaki.

“Share with your friends. This is my official apology. We’ll see you soon, Y/N.” The captain smiles warmly before turning to Suga. “Happy now?” 

“No, you abuser. Goodbye little kouhai!!” 

You wave to Hinata, Yachi, and Yamaguchi from a distance, Tsukishima and Kageyama both simply nodding to you as you shake your phone a little, signalling each of them to text you with the number you gave them with a bright smile. 

“Y/N don’t leave without saying bye to your nii-chan!” 

“Never, Bo-onii!” You cry overdramatically as Bokuto spins you around, Akaashi setting one hand on your head with a slight nod and a smile tickling his lips. It was honestly crazy how close you got with these people in three days, but who was complaining? 

“On the bus. Now.” Kuroo picks you up mid-spin from Bokuto’s grasp as you stick your tongue out, offering your final waves to everyone before Kai simply picks you up by the collar and quite literally drags you onto the bus. 

“Oh, did I miss my abusive boys.” You roll your eyes as you’re seated promptly next to Lev, who kindly kept his legs in check to give you enough room on the bus. “Who wants Taiyaki? Daichi-senpai treated us!” 

“Is Daichi the one? I called dibs, already!” Lev whines as the pastries are passed around, the bus settling into motion before Kuroo delivers a chop to the first-year’s head, who quickly claims it was a joke before a laugh bubbles up in your throat. 

Yeah. Your boys were a bit of a handful. 

“Yaku, you can’t have two!” 

“It just means Y/N loves me more.” 

“I’m her brother, you can’t compete.” 

“Shut up, she hates you half the time.” 

“No one asked you, Kenma!” 

But you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[muchadorks]

I need a Howl’s Moving Castle “Much Ado about Nothing” AU

Just picture it: Sophie as Beatrice and Howl as Benedick, being little shits towards each other and dramatically denying that they feel anything for each other

- Clearly Howl will get Beatrice’s “taming my wild heart” line, but everything else stays the same

- During the disguise scene at the party, Howl is delighted at the opportunity to dress up in disguise and find out what Sophie truly thinks of him

- And Sophie realizes it’s him in two seconds flat (”I RIPPED UP THAT SUIT AND PUT IT BACK TOGETHER, HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM, HOWL???”) but won’t tell him because How Dare This Asshole Try to Make Me Look Like a Fool

- And man, does she ever DRAG HIS ASS

- And Howl mopes about it to Calcifer, who just wants the tantrum over with (”STOP LOOKING LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO SLIME THE PLACE! NOT BY THE GRATES! DON’T MAKE ME CALL OVER SOPHIE, YOU FOOL!”)

- After Howl’s mope session, Calcifer tells Michael about the situation, who in turn tells Martha, who in turns grabs Lettie and gathers all four of them together

- Martha: So we’re going to trick Howl and Sophie into falling in love by making them overhear that the other has a crush on them.

- Everyone: That... sounds like something they would fall for, yes.

- How could anyone but Martha Hatter come up with such a ridiculous scheme to get Sophie and Howl together?

- And who could anyone but our favourite idiots fall for said ridiculous scheme?

- Calcifer, Michael wait until Howl is upstairs before staging their discussion

- (Calicifer’s doing it just to hopefully get some peace and quiet and attention back on him; Michael’s been dragged into it by Martha even though he’s a terrible liar)

- Of course, Howl is freaking out and, being the drama king he is, cant stop exclaiming and tries to cover it up so poorly

- “SOPHIE LIKES - oh, um, *DRAMTICALLY LOUD COUGHING FIT* ...I’m sick.”

- Martha and Lettie drag Sophie out for a walk around town, and when they have her in a shop, they sneak behind the rack she’s looking at and spill the rumours

- Sophie nearly takes down that rack and probably accidentally enchants a few items while muttering to them about how “This can’t be true, Howl would never... What do you think? You do seem like a sensible shawl, you know, but how do I react to this wonder- I mean, terrible, terrible news...”

- Clearly, Howl and Sophie won’t let their guard down completely after these conversations, but they do develop odd quirks

- Howl won’t leave Sophie the fuck alone 

- “Sophie, Sophie, did you see me cast that spell? Did it impress you? Sophie, Sophie, am I the most charming man in the world yet?”

- And Sophie is even more clumsy and flustered around him than normal, so she ends up snapping at him twice as much, furiously cleans the castle twice over with the most ridiculous determination Ingary has ever known and proceeds to enchant over half of the household’s possessions while she mutters grumpily to herself

- Sophie: “You, stool, how dare you get in the way? You ought to know not to trip people when they are trying to clean, for heaven’s sake! Now, next time you MOVE when people are coming near, you hear?”

- *the next day* Michael: “SOPHIE, WHY DOES THE STOOL KEEP MOVING WHEN I TRY TO SIT ON IT? SOPHIE, PLEASE HELP! HOWL? ANYONE???”

- No one in the castle has known peace for two weeks because of this constant madness

- (Calcifer and Michael greatly regret their participation in the matter)

- Anyway, for the matter of the whole wedding drama, let’s pretend that Fanny has set up an arranged marriage for Martha 

- (Bless Fanny’s heart, she means well, but she has no clue about Michael) 

- The same sort of marriage rejections occurs (which - even though Martha’s been trying to get away from it since the beginning - still is a huge social diss) and Sophie is OUT FOR BLOOD, LET ME TELL YOU

- And while listening to Sophie rant and rage, Howl decides that that’s the best moment to declare his undying love for her

- And ridiculousness of all ridiculousness, Sophie confesses as well but refuses to let Howl sweep her off her feet until he agrees to her revenge plot

- And while Martha’s already got two powerful witches on her side, having the Royal Wizard Pendragon on her side is never a bad thing

- It’s totally Howl’s idea to have the Hatter sisters disguise themselves (Howl’s disguise kink never dies)

- And to fake Martha’s death because he is so fucking dramatic, oh my god

- Calcifer and Michael are in charge for finding out who framed Martha and when they discover them, oh boy, does that person regret the day they were born

- Not only are they dealing with Pissed Off Hatter Sisters, but sweet innocent Michael is discovering bloodlust for the first time in his life

- It’s safe to say that witches and wizards can concoct some pretty unpleasant punishments

- So flashforward: we guilt trip this Terrible Fiancé into marrying Martha’s “double” 

- At the alter, she rips off her disguise and is like, “HAHA, YOU THOUGHT, BITCH!”

- And after dragging his ass for several minutes (it’s a Hatter trait, bless them), she declares that she’s marrying Michael (which Michael didn’t know, but it quite pleased to hear about)

- And after the dust settles, Howl proposes to Sophie in front of them crowd with probably the gaudiest, most ostentatious display of magic anyone has every witnessed

- And flustered Sophie turns him down since they’ve been keeping their romance a secret and she cannot deal with this PUBLIC HUMILIATION, HOWL, WHY???

- (and it’s not like their romance isn’t just them arguing a ton, so everyone assumes they are getting on as normal)

- Howl tries to play it off like it was just a joke anyway and NO, he did not spend FOURTEEN HOURS choreographing this magic display, how dare you infer that he’d do something like that - he is HEARTLESS HOWL, thank you very much

- But after Martha and Lettie basically drag them to the altar, do they begrudgingly admit their feelings

- And the moment after they say ‘I do’ s they immediately descend into bickering once more, but at least everyone admits the arguments are more loving

FINI

[marlaluster]

Kisspooh n Zoco the body pro's one eyed willie photo i posted about n shared earlier. .....

But that photo w Kisspooh n Zoco the body pro w the like joke stance or like parody or staging of them w one eye covered for them resting their heads in their hands, the devil was concerned about that it said later was because it looks like it -- a break here. The devil was just like to be making a dramtic moment for me where i saw my face looking really bad in the relection of the phone. It was extremely bitterly bad it was doing that. It keeps pressing stuff as im writing, something about me saying it was bad was supposed to mean i thought i was ugly or something. "Oh my god. I cannot do this anymore," the devil said. But i was supposed to look old, notice some look of wrinkles in my forehead. "I have to do something because i cant go on," the devil said. But the photo i was trying to tell about it n what the devil said about it. It said it couldnt be people doing things like that. It said also that photo n the others theure doing it looks like Chris n others are doing stuff to like say they are trying to end devil world or like they are doing some kind of protesting of devil land n the Illuminati. The devil was saying it makes it seem to make sense theyre doing something that suggests the nature of the reality in a way its implied n etc that its not real here n is what is told of by me. But i can describe the photo in the most recent post im referring to as sharing here the photo by Zoco n Chris. I was trying to above. The devil keeps trying to make me write things wrong. I just fixed the reference there about "most recent post" to tell more things to be clear. But the photo i shared here today of Chris n Zoco the body pro, it had them both sitting on a plane w their head in their hands w their elbow on their like arm rest n their hands were covering one eye. Then it said they had a long wait on their 30 hour flight back to Australia. Really covering one eye theyre expressing awareness of the Illuminati n my page showing these people w one eye covered which is expressive of them being Illuminati. I can tell something also about Tessa Thompsons page on Instagram being apparent of that person as having consciousness to things here in a way to be a challenge to devil land which is to be where the devil is saying that to be not conscious or like responsive is inferior to unconsciousness. Its a weird thing but its the same as it has been said (i guess not very often though) but its supposed to be superior here to not be, ie exist as what you really are, its supposed to be superior to be an appearance n not a actual person existing in time. Its supposed to be you poop n have to diet n youre supposed to be gross n here theres forced labor n aging etc. Its supposed to be superior to just be an appearance n not an actually existing person. Another way to put it is is supposed to be superior to be not present in your form n inferior to be present in your form. But this latest photo w Kisspooh showing some consciousness of things here n that is a challenge to devil land where a lie is supposed to be held as true or standing as true. Things are said to be things they are not. Its said to be free here, its not. People are said to be like criminals etc n its not supposed to be a person can be like seen for what is really happening, their supposed to be this term n stereotype etc. Awareness or consciousness would be accompanied w curiosity n would be the state a person to deal w the situation of so called crime n other things as something to examine as like a person or the person is existing in time. But its supposed to be superior to not exist in time here.

[moose-and-sqruille-lover]

there is always a way part 6

Pairing: dean x sister! Reader Sam x sister! Reader                          

Characters: dean, reader, Sam, Cas, Crowley and Lucifer

read more: part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

A/N:for the first time a little dramtic then ever. i was thinking about it a long time. this is one of the last parts because there going to be a lot more series. and i do request to so if you have a idea say it. 

Weeks are passing and still they had no clue how to get you back. Cas and Crowley where busy to get some information but that didn’t help either. And Lucifer was quite to there was no sign of him either on the media or in town. Dean and Sam are not losing hope because they know that they don’t need to give up for you.

It was quite in the library. Books where lying everywhere. Sam and dean where reading for days now and still nothing. There was a grave silence but then Sam broke the silence.

“dean, I think I have a lead.” Dean looked up from his book . “there is a blade in the bunker that can remove a demon out of a vessel.”

“great, but don’t we hurt Y/N then. I know that if we stab her Lucifer get out of her but don’t we hurt her then.”

“here it Is standing that it only remove the demon out of the vessel, so I don’t know.”

“where can we find that.”

“I think somewhere in the boxes.” Dean looked at Sam with a face ‘really’.

Sam and dean had looked for hours and still nothing until they find it in the dungeon.  It was a pointy blade  with a lot of signals on it.

“wow, so this is it.” Dean said when he turned it around in his hand.

“yeah, and I hope that it work.  Now we need to find Lucifer and Y/N. I go call Cas and Crowley.” He said and walked away.

Dean where still in the dungeon looking at the blade. He was in his thought about you. Can we remove Lucifer out of Y/N? if we stab her stay she alive or will she die? Dean shake his head to remove the thought out of his head. He walked to the library and find Sam still calling Crowley.

“alright, just hurry up.” Sam said and ended the call.

“so, what has Crowley to say? Do he know anything?”

“yeah, he know where Y/N is.” Dean walked closer to Sam and sit the opposite of him. “Crowley saw him ….. her  in Ohio. He saw her get in a abounded warehouse. So there are we going to, right?”

“yeah, get your duffel bag.” He walked away to his room to get his duffel bag.

They walked to the garage and rode to Ohio. After a few hours they get arrived at the abounded warehouse where you where. There was no sign at the warehouse but only saw a lot of blood. But then dean and Sam get pinned against some boxes.

“so, we there are the Winchesters again to save their little sister.” He said when walked up to dean with a blade in his hand. He put the blade against his cheek and slide it against it until it bleed.

Dean hissed when he cut in his cheek. Sam saw it that dean was fighting against the pressure against him that pinned him against the boxes. dean become free and rushed to Lucifer but then Lucifer turn around and faced dean. he take a few steps back from dean with the blade against your stomach.

“if you get closer she died.” Dean didn’t hesitate and backed up.

Dean wanted to kill him with his angel blade but if he get closer you get hurt. There was no chance to get you save. But then the door opened from the warehouse and Cas and Crowley came in. Cas saw what Lucifer did and backed up but Crowley didn’t.

then that was it dean and Sam worst nightmare they saw Lucifer stab you and disappeared from your body. They yelled and rushed to you. Blood was everywhere over your body and on the floor. Dean felt you was getting cold but then you came back.

Reader point of view

I felt cold and a stepping pain in my stomach. Everything was fuzzy and then I saw dean and Sam rushed to my side to help me. I felt blood in my mound. I reached to the place where the pain was and when I touched it my hand was covered with blood.

“wh- what hap- hap- happened? “

“calm down, we going to fix you up.” Dean took pressure on my wound to stop the blood.

I felt that I was getting colder and colder. I need to tell them how much I love them and that I am not going to make it.

“dean, sam please stop it.” I sighed. “I am not going to make it there is no way. Please dean, I love you and you to sam, but I cannot walk I don’t even feel me legs anymore.”

“Y/N, don’t say it. Please everything going to be alright we going to fix everth-“ I put my hand on Sam cheek.

I felt getting dizzy and cold. I saw black spots in my eye vision and it was getting harder to open my eyes.

Dean point of view

Then I saw Y/N close her eyes. I shaked her up but she didn’t response. She is gone. My little sister is gone. I wasted even hold up my tears no they streaming down my face and by Sam to. Then I realize that it was all Crowley fault. I standed up and rushed to Crowley and put a blade against his throat.

“why!? Why! You son of a bitch you just killed my little sister!” Sam grab me to make space between him.

“Cas, can you try to save her please” sam bagged.

Cas walked up to your corps and put two fingers against your forehead but nothing happened. Sam and I looked at cas.

“he did something so that I not can heal her.”

I scooped Y/N corps and walked to the impala. I put her corps In the backseat and walked up to Sam. We didn’t know if we can bring you back but one thing we hope that we can.

“come we go back to the bunker.” I walked to the impala but I looked behind my shoulder to Crowley.”I’m not done with you.” I get in the driver seat and rode away.

We came back to the bunker. I scooped Y/N up and bring her to her room. She was lying there peaceful but my tears where coming. My sister was gone and can we get her back. I kiss her forehead and walked away and thought by myself we get you back Y/N even it is the last thing I do.

tags: @winchesters-favorite-girl @attackonjackson @evyiione @percussiongirl2017 @brookennoone @saveprettydays

(if you want to be tag just ask me)

[galialay]

FUCKING STOP.

Do you want to know? Why we suck as a nation compared to a majority of the world? Do you want to know why I'm a nihilist and hate America and just can't fucking care about much of anything happening in America anymore? WHY WE ARE ANGRY. ABOUT. EVERYTHING. ABOUT. AMERICA. RIGHT NOW?? Watch this video. Listen. Just *fucking* listen. http://u.pw/2kKmeZq?s=p Then come back and read the rest of this rant if you still don't understand. This isn't a funny post. This isn't a polite post. This isn't isn't a argument post; because there is no argument here. This is the wake-up post of cold hard facts. She is an adult (one of you guys older than us "millenials snowflakes") and went to try to find the deepest statistics, the core statistics of why our system is failing us in education, and succeeded by asking the kids who grew up in this system in this last 20 years who actually left America to seek education abroad. Not the students coming here to study, but our own students leaving America - all over the world and asked them. You can't argue her stats, her facts, the fucking reality of the situation behind your political and religious warfare distractions. We need to change our education system. It's not working the way the world around us needs it to work. We need to take a more ancient-Greek-meets-modern-hippie philosophic approach to education. Teaching children about the world, business stuff and science stuff. How science and math can create new exciting things and by understanding it more deeply than "Repeat this equation and solve it idetical to how the book solves it. Just like your great-grandchildren grandma did in 1950, before technology changed dramtically." (Like writing code for technology! Or building new technology! Or curing disease forever!), How to grow food or plants and sustain the natural environment while adopting new business fields to expand our use of replenishable resources instead of pollution emitting/waste producing measures to fuel our world and save the natural ecosysyems. And humane stuff like how to work face to face with people as well as to politely interact online (Our world is fast moving to long online hours and we are barbarically awful online - the same way bullies worked in 1950 onward.), how to make friends, how to treat animals and each other with kindness, How to give generously without giving all of what you have (aka, sharing within reason, aka we need to help bring our education and health care up to actual modern standards: universal tax-paid, government unified healthcare, and naturalistic globally-standardized learning graded with the PISA test), and to appreciate artists and the amazing way they decorate our world and bring stories to film and videogames to life, how to show empathy not apathy, how to be kind not seek revenge, how to be spiritual not Religious®, and that everyone is a human being capable of evil and good equally and we all deserve and equal start in life not this "every man of himself when it comes to basic necessities for life ahaha fuck you poor people" crap going on. If we're not evil assholes murdering, raping, touching kids and other people inappropriately, and other actual morally wrong stuff (or you know those thing you call the 10 Commandments, aka the "golden rule", not "Whose genitals don't match what I think their face indicates they should have?" Or "Who's having sex with someone or in some way I personally don't think they should be due solely to my personal religious beliefs." Or "Whose way of life / skin color is so different from mine that I'm too scared to learn more about them? I'll just kill them before they all end up killing me, because some of them were bad. But my bad guys are ok bad guys. It's different. You wouldn't understand.") Not fighting over religious name brands, political brand names, who's fucking who, who's dating who, who's cheating now, who's dead now, sports name brands, celebrity name brands, etc., and just paying attention to the actual world. Realize we live mostly in poverty standards while earning "minimum wage". Minimum wage means minimum wage necessary to live above the poverty line, not "how little can I legally get away with paying someone for the most work I can get out of them?". $7.75 would be great for 1950. It's a joke in 2017. People are dying in large numbers just because we can't breathe the air, we can't drink the water, the food is killing us, mass varieties of plants and animals are going extinct, your kids can't afford what was considered poverty in the 1950s because minimum wage never rose enough to match inflation of market prices due to new and better tech avilability and vatiety provided by foreign countries. We literally cannot work hard enough to live and the education system is so bad we can't keep up with the technology provided by foreign countries! And you wonder why we're mentally and physically sick and angry all the time? You can't figure out what's wrong? Wake up. Get on board. We need better education, healthcare, food, water, air, and interaction. Aren't you all exhausted from the warring yet? Can't you just try to think for yourself and seek furtheeing knowledge and not just agreeing with what your chosen brand loyalties want you to think and buy because it's easier and doesn't hurt in the short term? It doesn't hurt for long, promise. All it takes is always asking why and finding the core facts, not assuming you know what's what just because you're bigger, older, went to a "better" school, or whatever your issue is with asking and learning even as an adult. What does hurt for long is kids and all kinds of people all around the world killing themselves, hurting themselves and others because we aren't properly equipped to help the mind get better like we can the body when sick. Imagine the strides we could make if we stopped donating to Brand Names and have directly to organizations not charities* and supported STEM & natural education and medical advances. As long as we're failing our future this badly compared to other countries we once called outdated and primal, I can't give an honest care about America's political or religious battle. I'm sick of people believing it's ok to kill based on petty differences. I don't support America and the government it elected. I support the people. (*Google it. Susan G Coleman and PETA take charity donations as salary and fail to give results. They're just brand names now to sell merchandise and pocket the profit. They havent helped donate, instwad they use it to sue other breast cancer or animal charities for rights. Donate to local farmers markets, local hospitals, and local food drives, safety shelters, schools, small businesses, EMS, police, and homeless shelters instead.)