#I LOVE THIS BOY!! W MY WHOLE CHEST!!! (i just happen to also love maki oops)

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

go for it! ; yuuta okkotsu

synopsis; yuuta’s been crushing on you ever since the first group project you had together, but he’s too nervous to confess. luckily, he has some over-eager friends willing to help! step 1: ask for your number!

word count; 7.4k

contents; yuuta okkotsu/reader, gn!reader, university au, yuuta majors in creative writing and writes poetry in his spare time <3, no curses au, yuuta is a cutiepie, he’s also a loserboy, pining and longing, one-sided love, maki inumaki and panda are wingmen (but not very good ones), fluffy vibes, gojo makes a guest appearance (stay safe), literally just yuuta being whipped for like 7k words straight

a/n; im gonna have to edit this a lot i think….. but for now it should be fine :3 i love the boy!!

”you’re staring. again.”

yuuta flinches. a jolt overtakes him, running through his body, and the pen he’d been absently writing with slips from his fingers. it tumbles down to the ground with a soft thunk. 

gazing up at the shadow towering over him, his eyes are wide, a little flustered; like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. like he’s expecting a smack on the head from the person in front of him.

— it’s maki. 

and she looks displeased, lips pursed and a single eyebrow raised. unimpressed, as she stares him down — the same way he’d been looking at you just a second ago.

”they’re gonna think you’re a creep if they catch you, you know,” she sighs, shifting from one foot to another. carrying her bass in a case on her back.

”maki, c’mon,” comes from behind her, an even larger figure strolling up to the pair. grinning brightly, fluffy hair tousled by the afternoon breeze. ”cut him some slack!” 

”salmon,” a third voice joins in. inumaki’s got some green paint staining the sleeve of his hoodie, and his fingers are dirtied with charcoal.

his closest friends, all joining him on the table they usually frequent on campus. right next to a giant tree, casting a pleasantly cool shade and obscuring the irritating brightness of the sun.

maki, headstrong and resilient. infamously rude. a music major, primarily, though yuuta knows she has more than a couple minors. if you pay attention, you can see her almost everywhere on campus, and she always does well on exams. confident, enough so that just being around her makes yuuta feel a little more secure in himself.

panda, a big kid with a big heart, always wearing monochrome clothes. ‘panda’ can’t possibly be his real name, though yuuta’s never found the courage to ask. truthfully, he isn’t sure panda even has a major, or goes to this university at all — but nobody’s mentioned it yet, and he doubts they ever will.

and then inumaki, the quiet kid, always helpful and kind. a little teasing, too. selectively mute, speaking exclusively in rice ball ingredients, but yuuta has already begun adjusting to the thought behind his phrases. an art student with remarkable talent, from sculptures to comics to paintings. he mostly spends his lectures playing games on his phone, though. and he's the kindest guy yuuta knows.

his beloved friends. the reason he can smile through each day, even when it’s a little difficult.

and maki’s right, he knows she is. if you were to lock eyes with him, and realize he’d been glancing over at you for the past ten minutes… god, he doesn’t even want to think about it. you’d be weirded out for sure, wouldn’t you?

but yuuta just can’t help it. you’re far too radiant to ever look away from, smile much too pretty.

you’re just sitting there, laughing and talking with your friends, the same as any other day. comparing hand sizes with miwa, or leaning over to whisper in mai’s ear. snorting over something momo said, or trying to understand the code kokochi’s fiddling with on his laptop. just being yourself, with people you’re close to.

and yuuta desperately wishes he could be among them. wishes he could see your honeyed smile up close, hear the melodic lilt of your laughter, breathe in the lingering scent of your shampoo. he wishes he could speak to you without stuttering, without tripping over his feet — hang out with you outside of class. just something small, like studying together, or grabbing a bite to eat.

he wishes he could get to know you. 

yuuta thinks he must seem like a fool, to be so affected by your mere presence. everything comes to him so easily, when he looks at you; the pitter patter of his heart, his sweaty hands, the whirlwind of butterflies swirling in his chest. even just the way you twirl your hair or chew on your pencil is so mesmerizing. 

so all he can do is stare, hopeless, a moth to a flame. basking in the warmth of your gaze, directed at your friends.

hoping one day, maybe… that warmth will fall upon him, as well.

(maybe one day.)

”hellooo? earth to yuuta!”

”see? he’s hopeless.”

”mentaiko…”

”inumaki’s right. he’s a man in love!”

”he’s a boy with a stupid crush,” maki scoffs, picking at a piece of lint on her tank top. ”and we have a study session we need to get done. the exam’s next week, remember?”

exam.

yuuta shoots up, wasting no time in grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. the ring hanging around his neck dangles with the sudden movement, and he clutches onto it.

”ah — right!” he squeaks, apologetic. ”sorry, it completely slipped my mind —”

before his mind can begin to overthink every action he’s taken these past few hours, a hand reaches out to pat his shoulder. pat, pat. reassuring and stabilizing.

inumaki smiles at him. yuuta can’t see his mouth, from behind the fabric of his hoodie, but his eyes crinkle softly; and it’s enough to put yuuta’s heart at ease.

”don’t apologize,” maki says. simple, straightforward. ”let’s just get going. i need to do better than naoya did last time.”

”you’re still mad about that, huh?”

”he only got a higher score because i wasn’t on top of my game,” she grumbles, digging her nails into the pockets of her baseball jacket. ”he doesn’t even like music. he’s just taking the course to piss me off. grown ass man.”

a chuckle slips from yuuta’s lips. the warm breeze ruffles his hair, and he holds onto the strap of his backpack, following closely behind as his friends begin to leave. sending one final glance at your figure, over by a table near the apricot trees.

and that’s when it happens.

— he looks over at you, and finds that your eyes are already on him. 

a moment passes.

while yuuta struggles to find his breathing, your lips curl up into a soft smile. then you raise your hand, waving to him cheerily, teeth peeking out from between your lips. he can see it clearly, even with the distance between you. 

a smile that glimmers like a jewel, in the light of the sun. 

yuuta feels his lips part, mouth falling open ever so slightly. but he waves back, afraid to take too long, unable to stop the pounding of his heartbeat — smiling giddily, like a schoolgirl tripping over her feet. 

his friends just watch, wholly unimpressed.

”do you think he’d notice if i threw a rock at him?”

”maki!��

”what do you like about them, anyway?”

the question is unexpected. yuuta has to do a double take, eyes straying from his excerpt of sappho 31 up to the person seated across from him. tapping her pencil on the edge of the table, resting her sharp jaw on the heel of her palm. 

”huh?”

”them. your crush,” maki reiterates. ”what caught your attention? there’s got to be something, yeah?”

”oh?” panda chirps, leaning back in his chair. a teasing grin playing at his lips. “i thought you didn’t care about his silly little crush.”

”i don’t.” a huff pushes past her lips, hands reaching to fix her lazy ponytail, hair tie dangling from between her teeth. ”i’m just bored. i already know all this, anyway.”

”tuna mayo.”

”oh, are you curious too, inumaki?”

”well, out with it. why them?”

yuuta blinks. once, then twice — mind spinning in circles, as his friends await his answer.

and, truthfully, yuuta can’t pinpoint the exact moment he felt it. that burst of joy, that tinge of excitement — the puppy love that rika always spoke of. she was always good at verbalizing her emotions, in a way yuuta never could.

(he always knew he loved her, but he could never put it into words.)

and he knows that he likes you. he knows because every word you speak has him stumbling over what to say, because even a single smile sent his way makes the world feel so gentle. he knows because he’d probably throw himself into incoming traffic, if you just asked him to.

but he can’t put it into words. not spoken ones, anyhow — putting them on paper is one thing, the one thing he can do. writing out his love for you in similes and metaphors, sonettes and alexandrines. it’s how he copes with everything; writing and writing, til his fingers start to hurt. he can compare you to a dandelion, to the way cicadas buzz in the light of the sun. the scent of childhood. but it’s harder to speak it out loud, to turn the feelings into sounds — that’s maki’s specialty, not his.

why does yuuta like you?

he remembers it clear as day, but still can’t pinpoint the exact second he fell headfirst into love. it was more of a creeping realization, something soft and sweet trickling through his veins. that sinking feeling, how helplessly he fell for you.

it all started with a pencil.

in hindsight, it’s a little silly. but yuuta can’t bring himself to think back to that moment with anything other than fondness.

(your smile was just so bright.)

that day had been a disaster. he was nervous, painfully so, afraid of every single new thing he came across during his first week of uni. scatterbrained, running on almost no sleep, unsure of where to put his feet as he walked.

honestly — what kind of trainwreck forgets their pen and notebook during their very first workshop?

all that anxiety, all those hours spent overthinking, and he still couldn’t manage something so small. in the moment, he almost panicked; sitting with you, a total stranger, wholly unprepared for such a simple assignment. read a couple excerpts, analyze them on paper. all yuuta could do was stare blankly at his lap, frozen, throat dry. hands cold with sweat.

but then you smiled.

”did you forget your notebook?” you had asked, voice set to a soothing tilt. calm, not angry or impatient.

”ah — yeah, i, um…” yuuta could only swallow thickly, fidgeting with the strings of his hoodie. ”i’m sorry. i haven't been sleeping well, so —”

”hey, hey, it’s fine!” you chuckled, teeth peeking out from between your lips. ”i totally get it. i almost forgot my laptop at yesterday’s lecture. we can just share!”

then you pushed your notebook closer to him, inviting him in. moving your chair a little, angling it towards him. but all yuuta could think of was how pretty your smile looked, how kind your presence felt.

”here you go,” you grinned, snapping him out of his trance. ”you can use this.”

a pencil. yuuta took it from your opened palm, gazing at it in wonder. an orange-coloured, halloween-themed pumpkin design. completely out of season. the tiny pumpkin was cute, though.

such a casual kindness. but maybe that's exactly why it made his heart flutter so deeply; as if you did it without even really thinking. as if kindness comes easy, to you.

that’s probably how it began. by the time the workshop ended, yuuta knew that he liked you, and he knew that he wanted nothing more than to be your friend.

(subconsciously, his fingers tap at the zipper of his backpack. the pumpkin pen is still with him, after you waved him off with a smooth you can keep it, if you want. yuuta has found that he always writes best when he uses it.)

”well?”

maki’s voice snaps him out of his trip down memory lane, and he stumbles for something to say. what does he like about you?

squirming, yuuta feels his face heat up, as he thinks of you. all he can see is your smile, the kindness in the tilt of your voice. the brightness of the grin you sent his way. warm and saccharine, like the sun peeking out after a downpour — when the streets smell like honeydew and rain.

”they’re just… so cool,” he finally sighs, a dreamy look smoothing over his face. ”they’re so nice. and their smile is so beautiful. they’re so smart, too — god, you should see the way they write — everything about them is just…”

yuuta blushes a deep red, smiling even still. lovesick. ”.. so, so wonderful.”

maki freezes in the midst of the tapping of her pencil. panda stops kicking at the foot of the table. and inumaki looks away from his phone, messing up his full combo.

a moment of silence passes. the study hall grows quiet, and yuuta looks down at his lap; suddenly embarrassed. sipping from his little carton of apple juice.

”hey…” panda starts, delicate. somehow, yuuta dreads the teasing edge to his voice. ”have you thought about confessing to them, yuuta?”

”what?” the boy in question squeaks, choking on his juice. ”no, of course not!”

”why?” maki deadpans. popping a chip into her mouth. ”you’re head over heels, right? might as well do something about it.”

inumaki hums. affirmative.

”i… don’t know,” yuuta sighs. a heavy breath, a little wobbly. meek. ”they’d just reject me, wouldn’t they? i mean…”

(you’re totally out of his league. right?)

maki scoffs, sitting up a little straighter. there’s an angered kind of affection in her eyes. ”you’re just deciding that all on your own. how would you know how they feel?”

the gaze she sends his way is intense. it always has been. there’s a kindness to it, though, something that makes yuuta want to look her in the eye — but he can’t, eyes still locked on his hands, resting in his lap. ”… still,” he manages a weak smile, somewhat sheepish. ”even if i wanted to, there’s no way i could. i’m too much of a coward.”

…

maki slams her textbook shut. the sound is sudden, loud. yuuta flinches, and a wince leaves inumaki’s lips. panda just watches her, snacking on some chips, a mild curiousity simmering in his eyes.

the girl in question gets up from her seat, grabbing her bass case and throwing it over her shoulder. then she looks at yuuta, eyes full of decision.

”— well, lucky for you, we’ve got some time to spare.”

a blink. yuuta gazes up at the girl in front of him, tilting his head in confusion.

maki sighs. exasperated. ”i’m saying we’ll help you. don’t look so resigned, dumbass.”

at that, panda gets up too — suddenly excited. ”are you thinking what i’m thinking?”

she just huffs, smiling even still. ”probably not. but let’s hear it.”

the grin on his face widens. he scribbles something down in his notebook, showing off the writing proudly. ”operation: get yuuta to confess is about to commence!”

inumaki turns off his phone. sitting up straight, arms decisively crossed, a strangely serious expression on his face. completely invested.

”wait — wait!” yuuta stutters, eyes wide with flustered shock. ”don’t i get a say in this?”

”of course not.”

”nope!”

”bonito flakes.”

”b… but —”

”alright, so here’s what i’m thinking,” panda begins, writing down unintelligible notes on the pages of his tattered notebook. ”we need to start small. we don’t want yuuta getting heart palpitations and fainting in the middle of campus, so —”

”tuna mayo?”

”yeah, that’s perfect! hang on, lemme just…”

”let me see. i don’t want you messing this up.”

yuuta’s voice comes out tiny, as it falls from his lips. more of a squeaky breath. ”guys, i really — you don’t need to —”

panda continues to scribble in the notebook, engrossed, arm hanging off maki’s shoulder as they go over the contents. inumaki nods along, walking over to them with lazy steps. yuuta’s protests go unnoticed, and all he can do is watch them mutter under their breaths.

”— okay. listen up, yuuta.”

he raises his head, and meets maki’s sharp eyes. she’s smiling, strolling over to place the notebook right in front of him. ”here’s how this is gonna go.”

yuuta looks down. 

everything is written out with a pink sharpie, glittery and pretty. there are little hearts doodled out across the pages, and he can tell exactly which ones were drawn by who. all of them look messy, with the exception of inumaki’s perfect little shapes. 

and there, right in the middle, lies a line of text.

panda reads it out, voice loud and cheery, while maki and inumaki stick close. all smiling, as a chill crawls down yuuta’s spine.

”step 1: ask for their number!”

plan a

”okay, so… what am i supposed to do, exactly?”

panda throws an arm over yuuta’s shoulder, and he’s enveloped by the scent of fresh sunlight. the weight is heavy, a comfort. ”we’re going with my plan first! it’s the best one, so don’t worry.”

”i don’t know about that,” maki scoffs. ”we can’t ask mai. best case scenario, she’ll laugh at us a little and say no.”

inumaki hums. he rips out a part of the notebook he’s been tasked with carrying, doodling a little face and showing it to the rest of his friends.

yuuta leans in close. it’s a cute doodle, charming. and he can tell who it’s supposed to depict. miwa kasumi.

”yeah, she’s our best bet,” maki sighs, brushing some specks of dust off her jeans. ”she seems like the nicest one in that group.”

yuuta tilts his head, brows furrowed in confusion. he plays with the ring hanging around his neck, a nervous tick he’s never managed to get rid of. ”wait, so…” he trails off, unsure. ”what are we doing, exactly?”

panda tugs him closer, a friendly smile on his face. ”we’re going to their friends for help!” he beams. ”that’ll be easier for you, right?”

a blink. yuuta gazes into the eyes of his friend, something soft blooming in his eyes.

they can be a chaotic bunch — but they’re still so considerate. considerate enough to know asking for your number straight out would be too much for him. considerate enough to think of his comfort, in a way no one else has bothered to before.

(faced with such immense understanding, such genuine friendship, how could he ever bear to let them down?)

”… alright,” yuuta gulps, clutching his ring as if to give him courage. managing a smile. ”let’s do this, then!”

with newfound determination, the four of them seek out miwa kasumi. it doesn’t take too long — she’s studying, going over legal codes in the library, eyes narrowed in concentration. and she isn’t alone.

”hey, miwa. muta.”

the pair look up from their respective textbooks and laptop, meeting the gaze of a certain maki zenin, waltzing over to their table. miwa smiles, but kokichi doesn’t say anything.

”hi, maki! how are you?”

”i’m good,” she answers, straight to the point; but her eyes soften a little. then she gestures towards yuuta with a tilt of her head. ”sorry, but this guy needs your help.” 

”hm?” miwa shifts in her seat, meeting yuuta’s nervous gaze, as he steps forward. ”ah, you’re… okkotsu, right?”

”ah, yeah! sorry for interrupting you two…”

”no, no! please, don’t worry about it,” she grins. sweet and soft, twirling a lock of her hair between her fingers. ”we don't mind. right?”

kokichi still doesn’t say anything. but he nods, when miwa meets his eyes — and yuuta notices that they seem a lot softer when she does.

”so, here’s how it is…”

panda explains the situation to the pair. yuuta looks down at the floor, face flushed as he shifts from foot to foot. by the time he’s finished, miwa looks wholly invested, and kokichi looks a little less like all he wants is for them to leave him and miwa be.

”awww, that’s so sweet!!” she gushes, clasping her hands together. eyes glimmering with excitement.

”right,” maki hums. already a little impatient. ”so, basically — we need their number.”

”… ah. well, um —” miwa trails off, averting her gaze. she looks over at kokichi, but he only shrugs, going back to his coding. ”see, here’s the thing…”

with an apologetic look in her eyes, she turns to yuuta. ”i support you 100% — but i dunno if it’d feel right to just… give away their number like that, you know?” she mumbles, sheepishly. ”i think you should ask them, yourself. that’d be way more romantic!”

”yeah, but that’s a tall hurdle for a socially anxious guy…” panda mutters, patting yuuta’s back.

”still! i’m sure they’d appreciate you being direct.” miwa closes her eyes, a dreamy expression painted on her face. ”i’d be elated if someone asked for my number like that!! all stuttering and shy… it’d be so cute!”

(if anyone notices kokichi stiffening beside her, they don’t mention it.)

maki sighs, resigned. ”well, i don’t think we’re getting any numbers here. good. what kind of creep just texts someone out of nowhere, anyway?”

”i thought it was a good plan!” panda protests, pouting a little. maki shoots him a look.

”it was an awful plan. what were you planning to say? hey, i forced your friend to give me your number, but would you want to hang out sometime?” she crosses her arms with a sharp scoff. ”i’d beat your ass!”

panda grumbles a little under his breath, but doesn’t say anything. 

”sorry i couldn’t be of more help,” miwa mumbles, sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. ”good luck, though! i hope they say yes!”

”thanks, miwa,” yuuta smiles, already in the process of being tugged away by his friends. ”i really appreciate it!”

plan a

plan b

”alright, inumaki’s turn. what’s your take on the situation, mister?”

the boy in question sits up straight, back resting against a tree trunk. he writes something down, and yuuta waits, patiently — absentmindedly staring at the white petals of the apricot trees on campus. pure, fleeting, sweet blossoms unfurling before him.

when he’s finished, inumaki presents the page to yuuta, and everyone gathers round. reading the writing, eyes trailing over his little doodles. panda grins, and maki strokes her chin in contemplation.

”you’re a genius, inu!”

”well, it’s probably the easiest way to go about it…”

yuuta purses his lips. it’s a good plan, he thinks; writing out a note, and passing it to you in the middle of class. that way, he won’t have to turn his feelings into sounds, won’t have to speak them out loud. there’s a safety to it, the trickling of ink across blank papers. one that’s never failed him.

”… that should work,” he mumbles, and inumaki visibly brightens. ”what am i supposed to write, though?”

”just be straightforward.”

”not seconded!” panda huffs, crossing his legs. ”you need to be dramatic. heartfelt. that’ll catch their attention!” he stops to think for a moment, a hum buzzing loudly in his throat. ”hey — why not write them a love poem? put those skills to good use!”

”a love poem?” yuuta squeaks, a slight heat rising to the tips of his ears. ”there’s no way i could do that! and i’m not skilled, i —”

a pause. yuuta bites his lip.

”… it’d just be embarrassing,” he finally mutters, playing with his ring.

(he wonders what rika would think, if she were here. what she’d advise him to do — would she like the love poem idea? probably.)

”well, you could at least try. who knows, maybe they’ll like it,” maki attempts to reassure him, chewing at a piece of gum. ”if they’re anything like miwa, it’ll be easy.”

gnawing at his bottom lip, yuuta emits an anxious hum. deep in thought. maybe you would like it, but… what if you just think it’s cheesy?

maki observes him, intently. listening to the emotions behind his silence. tapping the pads of her fingers on her knee, in a rhythmic motion. ”… at least try writing something out,” she says. ”if you can’t think of anything, then just copy some random old guy. what was his name, uh — catallas? or something?”

yuuta’s gaze snaps up, eyes gone wide. ”catullus?” he gapes, in disbelief. ”are you insane? do you even know what kind of poems he wrote?”

maki shoots him a confused look, and a tilt of her head. ”isn’t he the ’give me a thousand kisses’ guy?”

”he is, but that’s —” a sigh, exasperated. flustered, as it flows from his parted lips. then he shakes his head. ”nevermind. it doesn’t matter.”

”tuna…” inumaki mumbles, nudging yuuta’s shoulder with his head. a silent encouragement. and even with no words, yuuta knows what he’s trying to say.

just be yourself. this is your specialty, right? 

write from your heart.

”inumaki…” yuuta meets his gaze, and is met with a pair of warm eyes. a friendly punch meets his shoulder, soft and delicate. kind.

”… alright. i’ll write it!”

”that’s the spirit!” panda grins. ”just give it to them during tomorrow’s lecture.”

”yeah,” yuuta nods, mustering the courage to smile. ”i will!”

when yuuta gets home that night, he makes himself a cup of coffee with too much sugar, and gets ready to write.

he listens to maki’s acoustic guitar covers through his headphones, curled up with the fluffy blanket panda gave him, and munches on a hastily made onigiri to give himself much-needed energy.

(writing with a certain pumpkin-themed pencil, basking in the scratching of lead against blank pages.)

his hands are shaking.

it’s barely noticeable, but it’s there. that nervous shiver of his bones, the rattling of his skeleton. you’re sitting right next to him, so close he can smell the shampoo you use, the mint off your breath —

and yuuta can’t seem to hand you the note.

he spent all last night writing it. putting every single little drop of his love into every single little word. but that fear of rejection still remains, rendering him useless, unable to act.

you’re listening to the lecture, but only halfheartedly, absentmindedly doodling in your notebook. out of boredom, he assumes.

it’s the perfect moment to strike.

yuuta’s hands are shaking, and his heartbeat is stuttering, crawling up his throat. he takes a sip of water, hoping it’ll make the dry sensation go away, but it doesn’t work.

(just be yourself.)

with a deep intake of breath, he pushes the note over to you — not daring to look your way.

his eyes remain glued on the laptop screen in front of him, but he hears you pick it up, hears the rustling of paper as you unfold it. his heart echoes with a similar rhythm, unstable, borderline erratic. the rest of the lecture passes by slowly, minute by minute, at an agonizing pace.

when it finally ends, yuuta has to restrain the urge to run away — turning towards you slowly, hesitantly, as if just the sight of you could blind him if he isn’t careful. but you’re already looking at him. and you’re smiling.

”that was so good, yuuta!”

….

huh?

”sorry, but i honestly don’t have any feedback,” you mumble, eyes trailing over the note again. ”i like it a lot. i didn’t know you wrote poetry!”

”… ah.”  yuuta stumbles for something to say. staring into your eyes, blankly. dumbly. ”t.. thank you! i’m glad you liked it.”

with a brief shake of your head, you smile, and something sickly sweet unfurls in his chest. ”not at all. thanks for letting me read it! i’m sorry i can’t really help you improve…”

mentally, yuuta falls to his knees. places his palms on the floor and dry heaves, clutching his heart. did you not get it? was he not clear enough? he wrote it with you in mind, so —

”maybe you could show it to professor nanami?” you suggest, unaware of the turmoil within the boy to your right. ”i'm sure he’ll be a great help! he can seem a bit intimidating, but he’s nice.”

”.. yeah,” yuuta smiles, weakly. ”i’ll do that. thanks again.”

for a moment, he isn’t even upset. because you flash him another bright smile, and suddenly, even the frustration of yet another setback doesn’t feel so awful.

(maybe it’s fine, he thinks. maybe this is enough; speaking to you, getting to see your smile up close. maybe he doesn’t need anything else, after all.)

”so?” maki questions, waiting for him outside of class with his other two friends. ”how’d it go?”

shoulders slumped, but still wearing a smile on his face, yuuta chuckles. it comes out sounding a little strangled. ”they… thought i wanted their feedback on my poetry.”

….

”what.”

panda attempt to stifle his laughter, but it doesn’t really work. inumaki elbows him gently, but yuuta sees his eyes crinkle, too. he breathes out a low chuckle. ”they liked the poem, at least. so i’m happy.”

a sigh falls from maki’s lips, and she waltzes over to him, a hand on her hip. the other reaches out for the note in his palm. ”let me see.”

quickly unfolding it, her eyes trail across the words on the pages, the flowery lines of writing —

and then she shoots him an unimpressed look.

”.. yuuta,” she pinches the bridge of her nose. ”what the hell is this? you didn’t even mention their number.”

panda leans over her shoulder, peeking at the text. eyes glancing over a couple lines, riddled with sugarsweet metaphors. ”uh, wow. you… really got into it, huh?”

a groan leaves yuuta’s lips, the sound muffled as he cradles his head in his hands. ”please don’t say anything else. i just wanna crawl into a hole and die…”

inumaki shakes his head, erratic, pointing at the poem with shining eyes. ”mentaiko!”

”ah, you liked it? thanks, inumaki…”

the boy in question smiles, shooting yuuta a thumbs up. he returns it with a small smile of his own.

surrounded by his friends, all he can do is bask in their warmth — and the memory of the smile you gave him.

plan a plan b

plan c

a groan fills the air, as yuuta slumps over the table. cheek pressed against the cold wood, absently kicking his legs, voice meek and defeated.

”this is never gonna work,” he mutters under his breath. eyes devoid of hope. ” i’m just not cut out for this, guys…”

”aw, c’mon….” panda reaches over to ruffle his hair, palm big and warm. ”don’t give up hope! you want to grow closer to them, don’t you?”

”i do, but…” he sighs. ”this isn’t going very well, is it…?”

inumaki frowns, sending yuuta a sympathetic glance.

”oh, quit moping already!” maki grumbles. ”we just need to keep brainstorming. isn’t it time for my plan, yet?”

”should we really even keep going…?” another sigh, heavy with fatigue. yuuta’s mind spins in circles, tiring him out. rendering him a bit cynical. ”i mean… maybe it’s fine if things stay this way.”

a moment passes. maki looks at him, emitting a soft scoff. ”what, so you’re just gonna keep pining for the rest of the term?”

”that’s the plan.”

”yuuta…” panda pouts, shoes bumping against his beneath the table. ”be more positive! just think about it; with every step you take, you get closer to confessing!”

yet another groan. this one is deep, riddled with exhaustion. muffled into the table. ”that’s the scariest part…”

before either of his friends can begin to persuade him otherwise, encourage him further, a sing-songy voice echoes throughout the air. loud, cheery — a little bit obnoxious.

”oh? did someone just say confess?”

at the same instant the sound reaches their ears, a chill runs down the youths’ spines. in tandem with each other, they raise their heads; gazes falling on a certain satoru gojo.

panda and maki are the first to act, speaking simultaneously as the white haired man inches closer. 

”— no.”

maki closes the notebook containing operation: get yuuta to confess, right before their professor can get close enough to see it. then she turns towards him, shooting him a cold look.

”your hearing’s getting bad,” she hums. ”maybe you should book a doctor’s appointment.”

a pout. gojo takes a seat right beside her, uncomfortably long legs bumping against every single other pair of shoes beneath the table.

”oh, c’mon. you know i heard you.” his hand reaches out to ruffle her hair, but she smacks it away. ”you’re starting to sound just like megumi, y’know that?”

maki grits her teeth. ”guess it’s a genetic thing,” she huffs. ”now can you leave? don’t you have papers to grade?”

”don’t you have papers to write?” gojo smirks, a teasing mirth in his eyes. hidden behind his sunglasses. maki ignores him. 

placing his palms on the table, he leans a little closer, lips curled up into a cheshire grin. foreboding. ”sooo… yuuta’s got himself a little crush, huh?” he teases. ”tell your favorite professor allll about it. maybe i can help!”

”professor geto is our favorite,” maki shoots back, instantaneous.

a soft huff. there’s something sour in gojo’s expression, now. ”that guy? really?”

before the two can argue further, yuuta takes the opportunity to to speak. smiling apologetically, polite and sweet. ”thanks, mr. gojo, but…”

”he doesn't need your help,” maki cuts in. so much for diffusing the tension. ”and do you really expect us to believe you get girls?”

”wha — rude!” gojo scoffs. ”for your information, i’m a natural charmer!”

… 

a moment passes. then another.

”… tough crowd,” he clicks his tongue, met only with four blank stares. ”but, really — let me help! i'm your professor, you know?”

and this time, yuuta thinks that gojo’s smile looks just a little more sincere. something kind and gentle in the way his lips curl up, like a father’s affection for their children. something that makes yuuta falter.

(maki might like mr. geto more — but when it comes to yuuta, his favorite professor is a no-brainer.)

so he speaks up, again. ”we can at least hear him out, right…?” maki shoots him an unimpressed look, but he doesn’t back down. ”we’re stuck, anyway…”

and just like that, gojo brightens. it’s obvious, in the way he sits up, more alert. in the way his grin grows wider. ”right? what you need is the perspective of someone more experienced.”

”have you even talked to a girl before?”

”i see him at ieiri’s office, sometimes.”

”salmon.”

”isn’t she a lesbian? that doesn’t count. i mean, like, in a romantic context.”

”i thought mr. gojo was gay, too?”

”what? no way. have you seen the way he’s dressed —?”

gojo clears his throat, voice loud and grating. demanding attention, cutting his eager students off. ”anyway,” he chirps. ”gather round, children! i’ll tell you exactly how to ask the person you like for their number.”

”wh —” yuuta blinks. ”how’d you…?”

”operation ’get yuuta to confess!’, step 1: ask for their number!” gojo repeats, grinning ear to ear. voice rich with amusement. ”i like the glitter. it’s a nice touch.”

maki huffs. looks like she didn’t close it fast enough.

begrudgingly, the youths quiet down, finally willing to hear their professor out. and gojo seems satisfied, at last, speaking in a hushed whisper; eerily serious all of a sudden. ”ok, so here’s what you do…”

everything goes silent. yuuta strains his ears, and gojo parts his lips. 

”— just ask them! easy, right?

….

”let’s go, yuuta.”

”mentaiko.”

”i heard they're serving those sandwiches you like at the cafeteria today! let's hurry before they run out.”

”ah — i was just kidding!” gojo laughs, as his students get up from their seats. ”i have an actual answer!”

maki grabs her bass, inumaki takes the notebook, and panda ushers yuuta away. they begin to walk down the hall, ignoring the pleas of the man behind them. pouting, as his shout echoes throughout the hallway. 

”kids! come back!”

plan a plan b plan c

plan d

”okay, so this is going absolutely nowhere.”

relishing in the shadow cast by the giant campus tree, the four friends sit on their usual table, sandwiches in hand. yuuta takes a bite of his, tentative. a little disheartened.

”really, guys… i appreciate it a lot, but maybe we should stop here.”

maki huffs. reaching across the table, she gently smacks him over the head with her can of sprite. ”no way. we still haven’t tried my plan.”

he leans back, a little further, a hesitant look in his eyes. the sun shines down, relentless, but the air smells like rain. in the distance he sees clouds, dark, approaching at a slow pace.

an omen, he thinks. a reason not to speak out.

rika always liked the rain. she liked the scent that came with it, the puddles she could jump in. she liked shaking the branches of tiny trees, just to see him jolt and squeak as the raindrops hit him.

the ring around his neck weighs heavy on his heart. the promise of it, the oath within the silver.

(when we grow up, let’s get married!)

”earth to yuuta!”

his eyes flutter open.

the sun shines down, embracing the contours of his face. painting his world yellow. from this angle, staring up at the tree, he can see it breaking through; between the gaps of the green leaves, the white blossoms. forcing its way into his line of vision.

a flicker of hope.

”do you want to hear the plan or not?” maki scoffs, crossing her arms and tapping at her elbow. impatient.

yuuta meets her gaze, finding it in him to muster up just a little more determination. ”yeah,” he breathes. ”i do.”

a smile blooms on her face. ”good. alright.”

panda and inumaki inch closer to the pair, careful not to knock over the cans of soda resting on the table. in a mess of limbs and tousled hair, they gather round.

this is it, yuuta thinks — the final plan. if it fails, he’ll just have to keep pining from afar. memorizing your smile, over and over, until you graduate and part ways. 

this is it.

maki parts her lips.

”— just ask them,” she says. ”straight out.”

silence. 

a moment passes. a soft, pleasant breeze flits by, caressing yuuta’s skin. his ring sways with the wind, gently. 

”… huh?!”

panda furrow his brows, leaning closer with his palms on his knees. ”i thought we agreed that was stupid!” inumaki huffs out a low affirmative noise, holding his sketchbook tightly to his chest. but maki only puffs out her chest.

yuuta tilts his head, with a soft furrow of his brows. ”didn’t you just cuss out mr. gojo for suggesting that…?”

”well, it’s dumb when he says it…” she mutters, under her breath. then her gaze turns firm. ”look — yuuta.”

when the two lock eyes, he notices a steadfast determination, glimmering in her irises. something almost burning.

”you aren’t going to get anywhere if you’re too cowardly to even look them in the eye,” she tells him, not allowing him to squirm away from the eye contact. ”you guys can come up with those convoluted plans all you want, but there’s no way you’ll grow closer if you can’t face them.”

tousling her hair, softly, maki lets out a sigh. there’s a kindness to it, distinct. he can tell she’s trying to be tactful. 

”if you really want to get to know them, then you have to be direct. and you have to believe in yourself. you’ve already resigned yourself to the fact that they’ll say no — but that’s just dumb.”

panda winces, under his breath, but doesn’t say anything. maybe this is exactly what yuuta needs to hear.

the boy in question listens, the eyes of his friend boring into his own. determined, confident, sincere — everything he isn’t. everything he wants to be.

”even if you don’t believe it, you’re a charming guy. we all think so,” she continues, matter-of-factly. angered affection overflowing in her voice.

”have some confidence, dammit!”

a moment passes. yuuta feels his lips part, ever so slightly. a little speechless.

panda and inumaki sit shoulder to shoulder, hands over their eyes, shielding themselves from the sight in front of them. comically, as if it’s too bright to look at directly. 

”this… overflowing tough love…!”

”salmon roe…!”

maki grins, all teeth, a little wolfish. but kind. ”the worst thing they can say is no, right? 

yuuta blinks. ”maki…” he mumbles, looking into her eyes, a certain sensation running through his chest. a kind of confidence. passed on from her to him — one friend to another. the most natural exchange in the world.

then he smiles. a little meek, somewhat awkward — but bright. ”yeah. yeah, you’re right!”

the lazy grin on her lips only deepens, as she gets up to her feet, dusting non-existent dirt off her jeans. reaching a hand out for yuuta to take. ”c’mon, loser. shape up. you’re gonna steal their heart, aren’t you?”

a moment passes.

yuuta takes her hand in his. ”i am,” he swallows down a gulp. willing his voice to sound even a little bit self-assured.

and she pulls him up, effortlessly, overflowing with a natural resilience. still grinning cheekily. encouraging him. ”you’re gonna go out there and do your best, right?”

”i — i am!”

another voice chimes in. ”you’re gonna finish my essay for me this week, right?”

”i am!”

…

”wait —”

maki hits panda over the head with a soft thwack. a wince leaves his lips, and inumaki giggles, quieting down when maki sends him a warning glance.

”don’t throw him off his game,” she huffs. then she turns to yuuta once more. ”let’s go find them. alright, loverboy?”

a smile blooms on his lips. grateful, to be surrounded by such sunny people. ones that make it a little easier to smile each day. ”right.”

— but before either of them can take a step forward, a warm voice spills into the open air.

”um, yuuta?”

the boy in question stops in his tracks. he feels his eyes widen, spinning on his heels, hair ruffled by the breeze — turning to look at the source of the sound. 

it’s you.

you, with your sunkissed smile, that inviting voice. that soothing, soothing presence. one that has his heartbeat picking up in speed, hands growing sweaty, throat running dry. one that makes him feel a little bit feverish. and you’re looking right at him, into his eyes.

”hey!” he sputters, blinking rapidly to convince himself that he isn’t hallucinating. but you just keep smiling, answering his awkward greeting without skipping a beat.

”hi! sorry, could i just… talk to you, for a second?” 

he blinks. the world stops spinning.

(you… want to talk….

to him?)

attempting to find the words, any words, he opens his mouth — but nothing comes out. not a single syllable, no vowels, not even a sound. nothing at all.

he can only stare, star-struck.

it’s not until his friends push him forward that he’s snapped out of it; they surround him, on all sides, wearing matching grins. teasing and excited.

”don’t worry, he’s all yours!”

”have fun, you two!”

”salmon!”

— then they’re off. 

yuuta tries to reach for their sleeves, in a weak attempt to keep them from leaving, but they’re gone before he can even blink. leaving him all alone, with someone he can’t talk to without experiencing intense symptoms of heart failure. 

he stumbles for something to say, again, but thankfully you beat him to it.

”sorry for interrupting you guys,” you say, voice set to a low tilt. apologetic. and his throat unclogs, a little.

”ah, no, it’s fine!” he smiles, maybe a little too giddy. wanting so badly to reassure you, to put you at ease. ”i’m happy to speak to you!”

…

(oh god oh no why did i say that —)

your smile widens, blooming like a flower in the sunlight. unfurling in front of his very eyes. ”me too!” you say, excitedly. ”i feel like you and i have been talking more, recently… it’s nice.”

eyes crinkling, you wringle your hands together, and look at him fondly. yuuta’s surprised he manages to keep his knees from buckling.

”i think so too!” he grins, ears pink and dimples showing. 

both of you smile. the breeze curls around your hair, illuminating the colour of your eyes. yuuta stops breathing, for a moment — just taking it all in.

”so — anyway…” you murmur, fiddling with the fabric of your pants. ”um… haha. sorry, i’m — a little nervous…”

yuuta blinks.

(he knows where this is going. all the signs are there, right in front of him; the flush of your cheeks, the nervous tapping of your fingers, the hesitance in your eyes. he’s read enough shoujo manga — he knows what this means.)

and he almost can’t believe it.

all he can do is keep smiling, hoping it’ll give you even a fraction of the peace that your smile brings him. ”don’t be,” he says, voice soothing. scratching the back of his head. ”whatever it is, i’ll — um. i’ll listen, so…”

he clears his throat. swallowing thickly.

”just — whenever you're ready.”

there’s no mistaking it. your ears are painted pink, and you’re gnawing at your bottom lip. fiddling with your fingers and avoiding his gaze, with a soft inhale, clear air filling your lungs. he wonders if your throat feels as dry as his, if your heart is beating even half as fast.

”um… okay, so…” you mumble, eyes unable to stay in one place for too long. a soft bout of laughter escapes you, and he can tell you’re trying to stave off your own nervosity; it sends a pang of ache running through his chest.

he wants to tell you that there’s no need to be nervous. that he’d listen to anything you have say, absolutely anything, no matter what it is.

he wants to tell you that he’d never let you down, that he’d have to be foolish to even think the thought.

he wants to tell you that he’ll hear you out. whenever, wherever. for as long as you need.

”do you, um…”

a gulp. your eyes find his, and there’s a soft kind of decisiveness in them. 

here it comes, he thinks. here it comes.

yuuta feels the heat on his cheeks, ears burning. and he hears the patter of his heartbeat, loud and heavy, echoing in his muddled mind like a mantra. but his chest feels light; fluttery, butterflies dancing around uncontrollably. 

clutching the ring around his neck, subconsciously, he looks you in the eye.

they’re bright, glimmering like little galaxies — or maybe more like summer skies. painted over with a warm hue, something nostalgic and sweet, so pretty it hurts. if he strains his eyes enough, he’s almost sure he can see the swirling of fluffy clouds in the depths of your irises.

a smile rests on your lips. it's almost overwhelmingly sweet, albeit a little shy, as you part your pretty lips. voice soaked in nervosity, tingly and shaky, and something he knows to be puppy love.

a shallow, dry intake of breath. yuuta braces himself.

here it comes. 

your voice spills out into the air, dripping with honey and magnolias. he thinks to himself that he’d like to hear the melodic lilt of it every single day; before going to bed, right after waking up. walking to campus together, heading back to the dorms when the sky gets dark.

just the sound alone would be enough.

subconsciously, he tugs on the strap of his backpack. thinking of the pencil inside it. his lucky charm, along with the ring around his neck — ordinary objects, both too precious for words.

(when we grow up, let’s get married!

you can keep it, if you want.)

here it comes, yuuta thinks.

a new beginning.

he strains his ears, and purses his lips, and watches your lips move as you finally ask —

”do you have maki’s number?”

(somewhere in the distance, from an inconspicuous bush, the muffled screams of three students and one professor resounds.)

[bokoutoe-retired]

— cuddles with them; jujutsu kaisen

characters; yuuji itadori, megumi fushiguro, gojo satoru, nobara kugisaki, gn! reader

total w/c; 792

warnings; none! but keep in mind i haven’t read the manga so i don’t know everything

「a/n」 i know i said i’d do maki and toge too, but i feel like i just don’t know them well enough. that being said though!! part of the reason i wrote these four is to help me get a little bit of a grip on them before i start writing full blown requests :)) enjoy, my loves!!

- this sweetheart!!

- he loves you so much, he’s not even picky about cuddles at all

- as long as he gets to have you close he’ll be content for hours and hours

- it just absolutely amazes him that he gets the privilege of holding you in his arms

- he thinks he’s so incredibly lucky

- but if he did have to pick, he just loves a classic side cuddle

- something about have you lean/cuddle into him make him happy, and makes him feel like he can protect you

- and you honestly it too because your ear is pressed into his chest and you can hear the steady beat of his heart, it’s comforting

- if he ever feels you nuzzle any closer to him, he just feels so lucky and so thankful to have you in his life

- sometimes you’ll catch him gazing down at you with this soft look of love and admiration instead of at the movie your watching

- his cheeks might turn a little pink but he’ll just give you a that big smile of his a press a little kiss to your forehead

- i’m gonna put it out there, i know this boy has insomnia

- he just looks like he doesn’t sleep

- cuddles with him usually happen very late at night or very early in the morning

- face to face cuddles are definitely his thing though!!

- with your chests pressed together, your arms thrown over the other and your feet tangled

- megumi just wants to be able SEE you as he hold you close

- being able to see you can do much to put him at ease

- and it’s the same with holding your hand too!!

- as soon as you two get settled, it only ever takes a few moments for his hand to find yours

- he loves the feeling of your fingers laced together, and loves the way you rub your thumb over his knuckles

- after a while, you’ll fall asleep together while still holding each other closer

- but i imagine megumi might need his space in his sleep

- in the mornings you’ll usually wake up slightly separated but with your hands still intertwined

- i’d best describe nobara as a sweet but stubborn lover

- she gets excited a lot, and when she loves you she loves you with her whole heart

- but she likes to show it through actions (despite the fact she does talk a lot too)

- nobara loves to lay her head on your chest and tangle your legs together!!

- she’ll throw her arm over you and tug herself closer

- when you're cuddling, and even when you’re not, she smells really good!

- every now and then she’ll use a different scent of perfume but it always compliments her really well

- compliment her on it and she’ll just smile and compliment you back

- that's another thing! she’s a big talker too, she’ll talk about anything and everything under the sun

- but she’ll also just give you compliments galore

- she talk about her recent shopping trip, or a new show she’s watching

- then she compliment the way you wore your hair that day or remind you of how clever a comment you made during the day was

- one thing she also loves is when you lightly scratch or rub her back

- so as soon as you start it makes her feel so relaxed and at ease

- as stubborn as she is though, she’ll literally never admit it out loud

- but thats okay!! you can just tell by the way she melts when you do it

- kinda similar to yuuji, satoru doesn’t care too much but for different reason

- being one of the most powerful jujutsu sorcerers at a severely understaffed school undoubtedly keeps him busy

- and because of that, moments where he gets to relax are few and far between

- he’s a very affectionate guy overall so he’ll snuggle up to you whenever, wherever and however

- hell, he’d even cuddle you in public given the chance smh

- when you do find time to just lay down with him (usually before bed, or before he leaves in the mornings) it’s either giggly cuddles where you joke and tease each other or silent cuddles where you just take moment to soak up the others presence

- during these moments he loves to have you lay on top of him!!

- and he’s pretty lanky so it works out

- the weight of you on top of him is always comforting and he enjoys it thoroughly

- more often than not his very large and very warm hands will find their home on your hips or on your back

- sometimes he’ll use them to poke at your sides or sometimes he’ll just use them to keep you there with him for as long as he can

[authorkun]

[𝙎𝙪𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙖𝙡 𝙈𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙖𝙘] (005)

"𝙉𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚."

Fushiguro stated. While still cool on the outside, internally Megumi was pleading with himself that it wasn't true. Gojo sighed. "It's starting to look like a possibility." "Why are the Elders here though?" The raven head questioned. "The council are making preparations." Masamichi stepped in. "They're already assuming the worst?!" Megumi snapped. "He's still alive! He's still-!" A hand made a stop motion.

"I think you should leave the matter with us. You and Kugisaki need rest. We'll have Shoko look at your wounds later, for now rest." Masamichi held a commanding tone, although gently said. Fushiguro hesitantly nodded before picking up his peer, and started his way towards the dorms. 'M/n is not dead right? He'll make it-.' 

Once more his train of thought was interrupted by the faint yell from the infirmary. "He's crashing! The internal hemorrhaging won't..." The rest became muffled, when the sound of a door slamming shut echoed the empty hallways. 'Please stay alive, I can't lose you too.'

Timeskip

Report:

900 hours. Due to prior events from the day passed; both first year student: Itadori Yuuji, and second year student: L/n M/n (also special grade Jujutsu sorcerer) of Jujutsu tech university have been pronounced dead. "I can't help to think that it was my fault." The snowy haired sorcerer chuckled bitterly. A hand was curled into his hair, as his fingers tugged at the strands. "It couldn't have been. Those incompetent fools are." Nanami reassured from across the male. 

The two were seated across from each other in an empty room. Only two couches sat idly in the center. "The fact that the council is filled to the brim of cowardly heathens, has already been established. But hey, what can we expect." Gojo sarcastically answered. "Shouldn't both of us be experts in this?" Nanami held a stoic stature. 

"We all knew what we were getting into. Death was just another thing apart of the list of risks." Kento spoke. It wasn't a lie, the two had suffered such losses and learned what the consequences truly were. 

"It was inevitable." The word itself, pissed off Gojo to no end. Inevitable. Such a pathetic word, made by mortal chains who were paranoid of life. It always made him feel small; the word reminded him of how helpless he truly was during situations like this. 

It angered him, heck, he was livid in fury. But the more he tried to refuse reality, the more times he ran into the same wall. Helplessness.

Timeskip 

"Sukuna's host?" Shoko pointed towards the table, Itadori laid. "And...L/n." She lead the sentence on. Caressing the second-year's face, she clicked her tongue. "Anyways, I can dissect him however I want, right?" She asked referring to Itadori.

"Just make use of him." Gojo asked. "Of course I will. Who do you think you're talking too?"

"..."

"And we have direct instructions from the council for L/n. Those old farts aren't any fun. I was kind of curious of what was inside of that pretty little head of his."

With Fushiguro and Nobara

"He told us to "live long", but all your problems vanish when you you die. Was he your first comrade you've lost?" Nobara asked. Currently the two were sat on the steps of the entrance. "He was the first classmate." 

"Hmmph you seem oddly fine. After all that second-year died too." "I could say the same for you." Megumi shot back. "Well I only knew them for about two weeks. I'm not such a soft woman...that would cry over the death of people like them." The female's voice cracked, as her lip quivered.

"It's so hot though." Kugisaki complained, changing from the depressing topic. "Yeah, I wonder when we'll get our summer clothes." 

"What the hell? You're more depressing then ever.." Nobara sneered. "Megumi!" A voice interrupted. "Is this a wake?"

"Zenin-senpai."

"Don't call me by my family name. Maki. Maki!" Maki sounded out her name. Suddenly murmuring from behind a tree caught the three's attention. "He really did die too. Yesterday too! Another boy in first-year."

A tick mark formed, as Maki started to sweat. "Say it earlier! I'll seem like a cold-heartless devil!"

Panda and Inumaki stepped out from their 'hiding' spot. "Actually that's exactly what you are, you know?!" Panda yelled back.

"Tuna-Mayo." 

"Who are they?" Nobara pointed towards the three strangers. "They're out second-year senpais. Zenin-senpai, she's the best at handling charms out of us students. Inumaki-senpai is a specialist in spells. His only vocabulary is onigiri ingredients. And panda. 

There's another, Okkotsu-senpai. Along L/n-senpai, they were the only ones I could openly respect. He's overseas right now." Megumi explained. 'I wonder how Okkotsu's taking it. If he even knows yet. He and L/n-senpai were close.' "Are you just going to leave the panda's introduction at "Panda?" Kugisaki cut off Fushiguro's thoughts. "Oh sorry guys you're also still in mourning too." Panda bowed.

"We know how you must be feeling right now. We both lost L/n and Itadori. L/n was like family." Maki reassured. A small frown though lingering. "Mustard leaves-bonito flakes." 

"Through the grief though, we want you guys to attend the Kyoto sister exchange." Panda finished.

"What's that?"

With Gojo

"You know, I have a pretty shitty personality, Don't I?" Gojo asked from his slumped position. "I know." Ijichi sighed.

"I'll seriously slap you later, Ijichi." The threat caused a shiver to go down the male's spine.

"Why would someone like me, someone who doesn't have characteristics of a teacher, take a teaching job at a technical college? Ask me." "Why is that." Ijichi shookenly asked. "Because I have a dream."

"A dream you say?" Gojo leaned back in his seat.

"Yeah, as you know from what happened to M/n and Yuuji, the establishment is the den of evilness in the world of sorcery. It doesn't take much brain power to know that the council of elders are a council of fools, and idiots. 

It's a bargain sale for rotten oranges. I'll hit reset on the shithole that the world of sorcery is. I could easily kill those at the top, but they would simply be replaced, and no one would follow someone who'd kill the higher-ups. That's why I chose education. To raise strong and clever comrades. That's why sometimes I dump my missions on my students."

Ijichi gave an unimpressed look. "Not because you wanted to skip out of them?" "They're all extraordinary. Especially that third-year, Hakari and second-year, Okkotsu. They'll become shamen who could even rival me." Gojo's fist clenched as he glared at the table in front of him.

"Yuuji was one of them." Through gritted teeth,  his glare downcasted. "M/n...was the only one who could surpass me."  

"I'm going to start now." Shoko pulled on a pair of rubber gloves. Ijichi started shaking in fear as he pointed behind the female. "Huh, what's wrong." "G-G-Gojo." An amused smirk formed as he saw behind her. Itadori was sitting up with a mildly confused expression. 

"Woah, where's my clothes?!" Itadori exclaimed glancing downwards. "H-H-He H-H-He's a-a-alive!" 

"Don't be so noisy Ijichi."

Shoko pulled her mask down a disappointing look sent to Itadori. "That's a shame." 

An awkward silence befell. "Ummm this is embarrassing." The pink head nervously scratched his neck. 

"Welcome back." Gojo placed his hand out. "Yo! I'm back!" Itadori slapped the outstretched hand. "Good to see you're alive." "It's good to be back. Can I get some clothes though?" Gojo and Shoko nodded at each other before heading out of the room. "We'll be back."

When the two left, Itadori started grabbing the garments from a bag. While changing, his eyes caught an oddly familiar tuft of  (h/c) colored hair from next to him. 'That's impossible.' Tugging his shirt on, he inspected further. Pushing back the cloth covering the body, Yuuji's eyes widened in realization. 'No!' "I-Ijichi w-who's this?" He asked pointing towards the male. "That's L/n. He was a second-year here." 

From the confirmation of his identity, a feeling of grief and sadness started to form at the pit of his stomach. Tracing along the scars that littered his neck. A worried frown formed. 'What happened to you?' 

Although, inside him, where Sukuna sat, the king of curse's 'throne' stood empty. Sukuna watched in horror as Itadori had pulled the sheet back. Something continued to eat away at him. He couldn't die again right? He just saw him again. He never told him of the past. 

The same sick feeling filled Sukuna as felt as though he was going to puke. "Not again!" His anguish screams filled the domain, as he threw, and broke numerous skulls that had made up the pile.

"Not again please." Sukuna faintly pleaded, as his kimono and hair dripped with water. Back on the outside Itadori had clenched his nails into his fist. Small droplets of blood seeped from his grasp.

"Why'd you have to go and die already?"

M/n POV

The coldness was the first thing I felt when I woke up. While the breeze was soft, the coldness of it all was unforgiving. It was all to familiar though. That day... 

"RUN M/N! DONT LOOK BACK!" 

It hurts. Stop.

"Your whole clan is pathetic~"

Stop please. It hurts.

"What are you going to do? You're too weak."

A pain filled scream echoed throughout the darkness, one I could only assume as my own. "What do you want? Please stop!"

"You killed us! It's your fault!" 

The voices bounced off the walls from every angle. "What do you want from me?" I cried out. 

The echoing voices seem to pause. Silence. A singular figure started to emerge from the snowy ground.

"You're not real. You died 10 years ago." My feet moved, as I started backpedaling. The figure, a woman. A yellow kimono dressed her body. Long (h/c) hair framing her chest, and face. (E/c) orbs which seemed so foreign. "I'm here my love. You're here with me." She reached out a palm towards my face, the only reaction was a flinch which was returned.

"It's me n/n. I'm back." Her soft tone felt deceiving as she stuck out her arms towards me. "It's been so long." Shaking my head, I refused to accept. "You're dead, stop this. Please." Fingers started to tug and pull the messy strands of hair. 

"M/n, please." Warmth filled my core, as I was pulled into an embrace. My legs wobbled as we both fell to the floor. Sobs started racking my form as the woman, I've only known as my mother held me in her arms. "M-Mom? Why'd you leave me? I-I'm s-sorry, I was t-too weak-!" 

"Hey, shhhh...It's okay. You did everything you could. It's not your fault at all sweety." Coming face to face with her, her thumbs wiped my eyes. "You're the strongest person I know M/n."

"Y-You left though! Y-You l-left and I d-d.." Words started getting choked up as a lump formed in my throat. "And that's one of the biggest burdens and regrets I have to carry." She spoke calmly pushing back a strand of hair. 

"You've done so many good things and helped people in need. I've been with you ever since I passed. To think, my own son was such charmer though." She quirked a brow teasingly in hopes of lifting the mood. A small chuckle escaped. "I missed you." A bittersweet sigh left her parted lips before a smile graced her features. 

"As have I." A comforting silence filled the void as we sat in each other's embrace. "M/n, although I despise it with all of my heart, you can't stay." Eyes widened, I pushed her body back.

"What do you mean? I just got here?" A frantic expression slowly forming. 

"M/n..."

"I just got you back! You can't leave!" She once more stuck out her hand stroking my cheek. "M/n, you are the strongest person I've known my entire life. You've saved hundreds if not thousands. And you have people who love you back there! If you stay, you'll break their hearts." A shaky breath left, as tears started to fall again. 

"I know. I'm so selfish! But I can't find the heart to see you leave again."  Pushing my head into the crook of her neck. "You have too. You still have so many first's you have to fill though. Get married, live your life. It's not your time yet. I'll be with you every step of the way." She smiled, kissing my forehead. 

"I love you M/n." 

"I love you too." Her figure started to fade into small cherry blossoms. "It's time to wake up M/n~" With that, she disappeared entirely. A bittersweet smile managed to appear. Collapsing into the snow, I let the coldness finally envelope me as my eyes shut closed.

'It's time to wake up.'

[amphii-writes]

Random Haikyuu Head Canons I Have

these are all taken from my discord server cause i remember to write them there, if you want to request fanfics, my requests are W I D E open! there is also nO order! these are just all the headcanons i could find tbh

warnings: mentions of blood, and just overall wild times, swearing

Asahi loves knitting sweaters because his shoulders are broad and he also loves seeing the reactions from his teammates when they get a sweater from him! He says he buys them but he doesn’t

Aone likes knitting socks because he has big feet and he loves fluffy knee high socks but his team will never know

Asahi and Aone regularly hang out and knit together! (after asahi wasnt scared of him anyways)

Nishinoya gives you shiny rocks he finds because “your eyes shine like them!”

Yamaguchi likes to have your head rest on his chest while cuddling!

Aone likes to bake

Aone dressed like a polar bear because koganegawa told him to- halloween was amazing

daICHI HAS A KISS THE COOK APRON

Daichi secretly can make some kick ass steak and is amazing at grilling sorry

Okay but real talk, Kenma and Yaku swear like sailors and it scares everyone because they always whisper the most foul, insulting things under their breath. Hearing it is like seeing a cryptid

Speaking of cryptids, Fukunaga and Shibayama are THE most true crime, mythology, and mystery obsessed fanatics on the team and often fanboy about it together 

Fukunaga’s obsession with moth man has gotten to an unhealthy stage

Kenma absolutely had a vampire phase and has read twilight. Only Kuroo knows and has sworn to secrecy via blood pact

Kuroo’s a musical nerd. Knows all of the lyrics to Hamilton, BMC, DEH, Heathers, Rent, Beetlejuice, Etc. Kenma considered dropping him because of it

Iwaizumi tells the worst dad jokes and Kyotani, wanting to beat him, started doing it too and it drives everyone insane

Yahaba and Matsukawa get along surprisingly well. Both are true crime freaks and bond over their forensic files obsessions

Matsukawa didn’t really like his thick eyebrows so he got one of his female friends to pluck it for him, but almost cried and gave up after the first hair. Oikawa called him a pussy for the next year

Hanamaki jokingly flirts with everyone on the team so most of them just got used to it, but it still confuses Kindaichi to the point of mental breakdown

Makki called Kyotani ‘puppy’ as a joke once and now mad dog is truly terrified of him

Kyotani’s dog absolutely ADORES Oikawa and it’s the funniest shit to the rest of the team

Mattsun and Makki play DnD and once convinced Yahaba and Kyotani to join. Kyotani kept rolling to fight everyone and Yahaba was a bard that kept rolling to seduce everyone. They kept yelling across the board so they had to kick them out

Outside of his school uniform, Goshiki specifically wears only plaid

Tendou makes little chocolates for the whole team every once in a while so they don’t think he’s scary

Semi and Shirabu once had a fistfight in an abandoned McDonald’s parking lot while Tendou filmed and Goshiki cheered them on

Everybody makes fun of Shirabu’s haircut but nobody dares to say it to his face. its gotten to the point where they say he got it done by a blind old lady

There’s a running joke about Shirabu also getting his haircut from prison but Goshiki is starting to suspect that it may not be a joke

Yamagata and Tendou are good friends with the mutual goal of collecting as much blackmail on their team as possible

Tendou loves animals generally considered to be ‘ugly’ like rats, crows, reptiles, etc.

80% of Goshiki’s playlist is shit overplayed on the radio. Him, Shirabu, Tendou, Kawanishi and Ushijima have a permanent ban from the aux cord

Nobody watches YouTube with Ushijima because he never skips the damn ads (other than tendou)

Suna once said y’all’dn’t’ve unironically and made a first year cry

Akagi once said UwU unironically and had an identity crisis.

Osamu has one of those rainbow gaming keyboards and is constantly on a discord call. Atsumu always yells weird shit in the background to embarrass him and once pretended to be him

During Seijoh group chat arguments. Hanamaki and Mattsukawa like to drop facebook minion memes in just to piss everyone off even more

mattsun and maki both have separate photo albums in their phones labelled ‘minion memes to piss everyone off’

Hinata carries a pocket knife and no one has no fucking idea why

mattsun and maki both have matching rat fursuits that look like they actually where in a sewer- they chased oikawa around

For all his talk of plant analogies and metaphors, Ushijima cant grow shit

Goshiki’s Bangs are the way they are because his favorite character was Rock Lee from Naruto

Oikawa has watched Ouran High School Host Club front to back so many times and he can quote all of Tamaki’s lines by heart -He keeps bothering Iwaizumi to “be his Haruhi, since you’re shorter than me”

Koganegawa has definitely gone as an Angry Bird for Halloween

Fukunaga has those reflective cat eyes, and he has terrified Yamamoto on several occasion

Hanamaki and Matsukawa have a teddy bear that they pretend is their child and they share custody

Suga always sprays whipped cream straight into his mouth whenever he sees a can

Nishinoya definitely bit people as a kid

Nishinoya would be the guy to wear shorts all year round and even if it's snowing, he'll insist he's not cold

Tendou is still stuck in his emo phase and would fangirl over Creepypasta with me and I appreciate that (me too buddy, me fuckin too)

Kyoutani LOOKS like he’d listen to viking death metal, but in reality he listens to Mother Mother and knows all the words to Ghosting

Sugawara would definitely encourage me to dumb shit and not stop me, and you’re all dumb for thinking he wouldn’t 

KENMA IS NOT ‘uwu owo’ SHY, HE IS ‘your fucking gross’ SHY SO LITERALLY STFU

Bokuto listens to Nicki Manaj. And knows all the words. To every. Single. Song.

Ushijima for some reason knows an odd amount of 90′s-2000′s R&B and he will hum along to the songs if they come on the radio (he also loves Dolly Parton) ((he says he relates to her music))

Bokuto once ate instant ramen for an entire month

TERUSHIMA DID TRY TO FUCK A PLANT WHILE SHITFACED AND GOD I STAND BY WHAT I SAID

atsumu let’s you put makeup on him and pretends to eat the brushes (do yk what im talking about- like n o m)

tendou ran for school president as a joke but actually won

i 100% believe that all of karasuno’s third years apologize when they bump into inanimate objects, but when suga is really tired or stressed out, he’ll yell at them instead.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Taketora have a group chat called "Bros who want sum hoes" and they send each other hypebeast memes and shit

Sugawara knows how to do a bunch of flexible shit because he sometimes goes to yoga with daichi and asahi's moms, its fucking hilarious

tanaka and noya both breakdance- they work as a team and sometimes go to tokyo for underground competitions- saeko drives them

Daichi knows a little ballet- nobody other than Kiyoko knows because they saw each other at the ballet class and had to work together- dont tell tanaka and noya that he lifted her though

Osamu once put glitter on Atsumu's pillow- he still finds hot pink glitter on shit

kita knits and crochets with his grandma

Kita's grandma knows everyone's names because kita talks shit bout them, her favorite is Aran

Kuroo has burnt his eyebrows off doing an experiment. His goggles didn't cover all his brows,,, so he just showed up to practice like that. No eyebrows and a chemical burn

kenma has played all kinds of games, but he was dared to play corpse party by kuroo. He wasn't scared because of the gore, he was thinking about the trauma the characters went through. Punched kuroo the next day because that game was fucked up

Lev isn't a strong swimmer, so he often grabs people by the head to keep himself up. happened with kenma and lev couldn't walk due to the force of kenmas suprised water kicks

akaashi has those fancy pens that you have to dip in ink and they're so nice

Bokuto has and will eat pencil erasers again

Daichi once almost lost his shit at his team but instead he lost his shit at the door that decided to stub his toe on the way out of the gym. not the best thing to be found yelling to.

Yamaguchi for sure has been dragged to one of terushimas parties because he didnt wanna say no. oh and terushima has like frat boy level parties too. Yams has for sure had some wild nights and doubts anyone other than Tsukishima and the party-goers will ever know

Akaashi can actually flirt very well! He reads romance novels sometimes and has analyzed any and every book in his possession! so he's actually quite charming

Daihsou unironically posted on twitter after mika broke up with him "I still see her shadows in my room"

Mattsun and Maki run a fake oikawa account; its been going ever since twitter even started getting popular and they even started sending messages in spanish. The posts would range from "I love all my fans!" to flirting with them :) Oikawa is pissed cause the account got verified before he did and most of his fans also follow the fake oikawa. Tooru has no idea who runs it JUST IMAGINE OIKAWA JUST LIKE RANTING TO THE SEIJOH 3RD YEAR ALUMNI AND JUST "no Iwa-chan, you dont understand! they run a fake account and pretend to be me!" while makki and mattsun laugh their asses off

Oh, kenma for sure has pretended to be a girl on discord and has gotten someone to buy him stuff. after they do he says in his normal voice "fucking simp" and then hangs up and blocks the other persons discord

Yamamoto, despite his rough appearance, loves kids and has and will be a human jungle gym

suna in middle school had a game with his friends about who could make kids cry the fastest

The twins switched places back in middle school and nobody could tell because of how great they are at acting like eachother

Daichi once arrested coach ukai for public intoxication after a game :|

Daichi has arrested many people from his old volleyball team but the most memorable case was when he arrested tanaka and noya for reckless driving. poor idiots got so scared when they saw their old captains face in their mirror and started to pray

tanaka, while trying to intimidate someone, once said "You dont gotta tell me twice, i may be straight but these hands are bisexual" and he often cringes at night thinking about it

Kageyama, as a comeback to Tsukishima, said "one thing about us royalty is that we love to feast" and he also fuckin hates what he said

the third years made a cult for Kiyoko. they chant every wednesday "i'll do anything for kiyoko, she makes me go loco"

oikawas fangirls are known to be fucking rabid

yAMAMOTO AND KENMA AFTER THEIR FIGHT WERE FORCED BY KUROO TO MAKE IT UP: so they dyed their hair together

Makki and mattsun sang two trucks in front of the entire team. everyone was so confused. Makki: "twO TRUCKS HAVIN SEX!!" Mattsun: "oH yEs!"THEY'D SWITCH OFF AND HAVE LIKE CHOREOGRAPHY TOO LIKE THEY'D DO A TANGO WHILE THE SONG IS LIKE "two beer trucks, making love"

tendou once called Oikawa "mr. no-nationals" and got kicked in the shins before iwaizumi could save him

Tsukishima had a my little pony phase

you work with matsukawa at a morgue and he makes dead people jokes while you fix some dead guys face with wax and makeup he'd be like "so didnt he like,,, stick his head out of the sunroof of a moving fuckin car??" he'd be singing dumb ways to die the entire day

i feel like Kuroo has one crazy accident a year. like it might not be deadly but its fucking crazy like for example: Kuroo for sure has ridden in a shopping cart at past midnight with kenma (who pushed him down a hill) causing Kuroo to get scratched up hella well. he lied and said he spent the night with a girl and kenma fucking hated himself cause he would be the girl if that was true

Mattsun has flirted with the 4th years moms before (AS A JOKE), and because of this: he is known as “fuckin milf hunter” sometimes by the team

Warning, this next headcanon is talking about cannabis, weed, mary jane, the zoink root. so if your uncomfortable, please dont read below :)

dude i wanna get high as SHIT with Asahi 

i think Asahi would be one of those mfkers who takes one hit and is gone 

ASAHI ACCIDENTALLY GOING TO PRACTICE ZOINKED 

IMAGINE HIM SEEING TSUKISHIMA AND JUST "he looks so judgemental,,, im scared" 

OR LIKE A MAD DAICHI AND JUST "i'm gonna,,, im gonna go jump out the window now" 

Noya and Tanaka would know tho, i feel like they'd have a 6th sense when it comes to weed. they probably get some from Saeko cause she'd rather they do it in the house. they'd smell asahi like fucking dogs and just so,,, big guy had fun without us huh? 

DAICHI WOULD KNOW ABOUT ASAHI BEING ZOINKED, SMASH HIS FACE INTO THE WALL, TURN AROUND WITH A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD AND WITH A BEAMING SMILE AND FEUX ENTHUSIASM SAY: "YOSH, LETS WARM UP!"

[ssolarcalendarr]

Kokichi and Gundham with a Fem!Crush with Hanahaki:

wOah my first Hanahaki request- 

I’ll gladly do this for you Anon! 

However... Since I’m a lover of angst and you never specified.... 

I’ll be doing a bad ending... Sorry, I feel like good endings I make are really cliche and I think I’m good at making angst soooooooo.... Bad ending-

I got the flower definitions here: [Right Here, Here, Here!]

So I hope you enjoy this! God these were SUPER long! I write stuff super detailed at times... Gah! The first one with Kokichi was long and that’s when I realized that this would take... Absolutely forever. Which it did. Plus writer’s block hits you like a ton of bricks from above :)

However, I did cut the characters back to 2, which will now be the character limit for Hanahaki. Only Kokichi’s and Gundham’s will be included here. I had a seriously hard time with writing the Hanahaki in detail (because I’m like that). I also apologize but writing for Korekiyo sometimes freaks me out and I can’t think of any ideas for Ryoma (again, writer’s block)... I apologize but I hope you like Kokichi’s and Gundham’s story! (btw you have great taste in anime men, just saying-)

[TW // Throwing up, mild language, rejection, and death]

Under the Cut!

Kokichi Ouma: 

Kokichi Ouma. Ultimate Supreme Leader. 

More like Ultimate Supreme Liar. 

Yet, you fell for the boy with violet spiky hair and mischievous chuckles. 

It was the first prank you both prepared together. It was a simple one. Two buckets of water across the double doors leading into the library. Giggling like little children, you both waited for your unknown victims. After a few minutes, you could see the doorknob jiggle. 

Kokichi went closer to the door, but not too close so he wouldn’t get splashed. 

You also wanted to go closer and see the victim’s face but your chest started to ache. Slowly, you went behind a nearby bookcase and started to cough a bit. 

Just a little cough. 

Nothing more, nothing less. 

Or... 

So you thought. 

You revealed yourself and saw Shuichi, Maki, and Kaito, all soaking wet. 

“Splashing three dummies with two buckets!” Kokichi guffawed. 

You stared at him. His sly smile turning into a toothy grin. He looked so happy to be pranking. The sun from a nearby window shone on his face. 

Your chest started to tighten up like a rope around a neck. For a second there, you couldn’t breathe and choked on yourself, making a tiny gagging sound. 

Returning back behind the bookcase, you started coughing more violently. 

“W-What the hell?” You muttered, awfully confused. 

You let go of your mouth and in your hand was blood and some flower petals. They were yellow and you could tell they were tulip petals... But yellow? 

You’ve never even seen a yellow tulip. 

Maybe you were imagining it or something... 

Wiping your hand on the hard wood bookcase, you reappeared in front of them, laughing your best, trying to fit in with the earlier mood. 

“Y/N-channn~... Where did you go~? You could’ve seen their faces when the water splashed on them!” He frowned dramatically and his eyes fluttering. Classic puppy dog eyes that he always used on you.

You smiled, “I had to go do something, someone texted me.” You had lied to the Lord of Liars. 

God, he was going to find out you lied and try to pry you open and-

“Oh.” His eyes dulled and his smile turning into a small frown, but then his whole aura did a whole 180 and he was happy again, “Well, next time, you should stay by my side! Then when we get our next victim, you can see the disgusting look on their face!” 

Wait, he didn’t... See though your lie? 

It surprised you a bit, your eyes widening a bit but not fully. You smiled as his giggled again, facing the trio which looked like they took a bath... 

Or fell into a giant lake together! 

“I’m going to kill you-”

“H-hey now! I-I’m sure that we weren’t the victims t-they were aiming for!” 

“Yeah! How could they have known that we would come here!” 

You started laughing with Kokichi from their ridiculous comments... 

Not to mention Kaito’s wet hair-

Shuichi, who couldn’t contain himself, started to snicker. 

“W-wha... Sidekick! Why are you laughing?!” Kaito put his hand on his head and finally realized. 

“MY HAIR!” 

That was the final thing that rang out in the library before leaving.

And one of the final thing your heard, excluding normal goodbyes and irritated mutters, before throwing up in a school bathroom stall.

Even more yellow petals, some thin and some somewhat thick fell into the water of the toilet bowl. A few leaves and parts of stems. And a whole lot of blood.

Little did you know this would become a normal routine for you. 

Wake up, throw up, get ready, throw up, go to school, cough like hell, finish school, throw up, do some work/chores, throw up, go to sleep, cough in pain.

Repeat.

It seemed ever so quick, but a whole month passed. 

It deteriorated you. It took such a toll. 

Your face turned paler everyday and the agony in your chest wouldn’t go away any time soon. You could barely stand but using the momentum for walking, you could keep going. Pretending that everything would be fine.

It hurt. 

Your head hurt. 

Everything hurt. 

But it was mainly your heart that suffered. 

You just wanted the suffering to stop. 

One day, you coughed up full flowers. Now it was for sure the pain would stop. Although, maybe not in the greatest way possible. 

The knowledge you gained when searching up the disease indicated you were nearing the last stage. 

Death. 

Did it really have to come so soon? 

Hauling in the trash this time, you noticed that the flowers really were yellow tulips. Beautifully stained with splatters of blood and covered lightly with tears.

The whole flowers were terrible to hack out. You could barely breathe, if you could at all. 

After relieving a small amount of pain from your chest and cleaning up your mess, you slowly searched up what yellow tulips meant feeling congested and very dizzy.

“There’s Sunshine In Your Smile.” 

You remembered the first time you started coughing and Kokichi’s sly smiles. 

You fell for his smiles. How happy he was compared to you. Of course you fell over heel for him just because of his smiles. His most dangerous weapon. 

Of course you did.

“Confess” you whispered the plan you thought of a while ago... If you were to die, you wanted it to be in his arms. His small arms that you would gladly let roam over your body...

There was no way you were getting a surgery. You wouldn’t be able to love anymore and the odds were against you that you would even survive the surgery... 

You loved Kokichi... That little liar who stole your heart. 

Thinking about Kokichi again, your chest swell and your mouth leaked out blood and flowers. 

“G-great... It’s on my floor...” You muttered under your choking. 

You looked down on the floor and saw a bundle of Begonias. 

“Beware.” 

That was right. You had to be cautious. 

If he didn’t love you back... That was certain death. 

After cleaning up the mess weakly on the floor, you made you way into the bathroom to fix up your hair and clothes. And obviously your face. It was so pale that everyone would notice. 

The mirror showed your true self sometimes. Getting some make-up, you started applying some to your skin so everything would look normal...ish. 

Slowly dressing up ad getting ready you looked... Normal. It was good enough. 

So, you started walked to school. No one to talk to. You’ve gotten used to that but inside, you knew it wasn’t your true nature. But damn, this disease would get into everything you do.

Upon entering the classroom, you stared at the floor. Avoiding the little purple gremlin from your sight. 

Don’t think Kokichi didn’t notice what was happening. He was concerned. So worried that he begged and groveled at Shuichi’s feet so he could help him investigate about what was happening to you. 

They even interrogated other students. Their testimonies sometimes weren’t helpful but some were. 

Such as Kirumi’s testimony : “Hmm... That is most strange... However, I did see Y/N when she asked me to make her lunches. I have seen that she is becoming quite... Weak, I shall say, so I did. I just finished preparing tomorrow’s lunch for her.” 

Or even Kaito’s : “Y/N? Yeah! I talked to her a while ago. Well, texting is the right word. She asked if you were doing okay, Kokichi. I was about to grab ya to ask!” (Kokichi was wondering why Kaito was always asking if he was okay, Kokichi thought Kaito was asking out of sympathy of him without you, but now he knows why...) 

Today, he was going to find out why you didn’t hang around him anymore... 

But today was also the day you were going to confess. 

Time flew by as you thought about your chest... If it would explode if you even tried to confess. 

Taking out a pen and paper, planning on doing a letter for Kokichi instead of face-to-face contact, the dismissal bell rang and everyone swiftly ran out. Even the teacher ran out. He must have needed to do something, the thought rang in your mind, distracting you.

But Kokichi stood there. 

He made his way to the doorway... “Maybe I could check up on her another day... Maybe something happened, something so bad, that she is emotionally and physically scarred...” he thought to himself 

As you look up, you see him, in the doorway. Facing away from you. 

Kokichi stopped himself. “No. I need to find out what’s happening to Y/N-” 

“K-Kokichiii~?” You croaked. The swelling of flowers could be felt in your throat. 

You hadn’t talked in months. Your voice had become course and dry. 

Kokichi’s eyes watered but he quickly hid it as he turned around with a smile. 

“Yup! Wassup Y/N-chan?” 

It was time to tell him... Tell him how you feel!!

But oh no... He faced you with a smile... 

It was that smile that you fell in love with in the first place. 

You started to cough. 

“I-I L-L-Lo-!” You started to cough terribly now. 

Is this going to be the end?!

...

No. 

It can’t be. 

Not yet. 

Kokichi saw that you were coughing and imagined the worst. He knew what was happening to you. 

“W-What~?” He stammered, “You love me soooo much that you got the super rare disease of Hanahaki? The rare one that is b-basically a myth?!” 

He started to laugh faintly. His tears were on the edge of falling. 

Your chest... Felt like it was going to break and spill all your flowers out. 

Your stomach felt like it was going to pop as well. 

Everything started to hurt. 

Were you dying already?

You haven’t even confessed yet. 

You needed to tell him. 

He stared at you. 

Looking at your desk, you noticed the pen and paper. 

You grabbed it and started writing. 

With your chest, throat, and entirely every body part of your aching, you didn’t have enough power to speak. 

You wrote down the words, “Kokichi Ouma, I love you so much... That I developed this Hanahaki disease you mentioned. I’m at the last stage.” 

You slowly made your way over to him, letting out little coughs, and shakily handed it to him. He had walked closer to you and yours desk so you didn’t have to walk that far. 

Covering yourself behind a desk, you let it all out. Not even bothering to hide it from him anymore. Hauling out flowers and blood onto the floor. 

He looked up from the paper and looked at you with his dark purple eyes. 

The tears in his eyes crept out. 

“N-No!” He weakly smiled, “You can’t end like this!” 

You looked up at him. 

You knew it. 

He didn’t love you ba-

“I got surgery a month ago! The day before we pulled that prank in the library!” He yelled. 

Of course. What kinda of luck did you have?! The day you get Hanahaki is the day after he gets surgery... 

Wait... A...

Hanahaki surgery?

That must be the reason why he’s apologizing... 

How stupid were you... To fall in love with a man like him?

You started to throw up again. 

Kokichi went to you and started to hug you. His tears fell into your blood, dissolving and mixing together with it. 

You dropped to your knees, the pain was unbearable. 

“N-N-No! Y/N don’t leave! Y-You’re my partner in crime! I-I love you too!” He lied, trying to stop your death. 

Hoping it would reverse the Hanahaki... He lied. But he knew it wouldn’t work deep down. 

At this point, it was mainly blood. 

Red Carnations were scattered. 

“My heart aches for you” Kokichi mumbled. 

You would die in his arms. 

“I... Have one l-last question K-K-Kokic-chi...” You managed to clearly say to him, holding onto your chest. 

He flipped you over so you would face him. 

He was crouching when you laid down. 

“I’ll answer it! You’ll hold on longer, I swear! Don’t say this is your last question!” He cried. Kokichi’s smile crumbled and turned into a frown. 

“W-Who did you have Han-Hanahaki f-for b-back t-t-then?” You softly smiled. 

“You! Gah, I’m so stupid!” He frowned even more. 

“If it wasn’t such a coward, the pain would’ve stopped if I confessed-!” 

“But you w-were scared t-that I woul-wouldn’t return your fe-feelings...” You touched his face and coughed. 

“If I c-can’t h-have a l-last qu-question... C-Could I h-have a last r-request?” You pinched Kokichi’s pale face out of torment. 

“I made a mistake! Please Y/N, don’t go!” He winced. 

Just the look of despair on his face made you sad. 

“J-Just... On-one last s-smile... P-Please...” You wheezed. 

A flower managed to air out of your mouth. 

It wasn’t much different from the other ones on the floor beside you. 

It landed near the other flowers. 

It was another Carnation... But pink. 

Kokichi knew what it meant too. 

“I’ll never forget you” 

He flashed a smile for you. 

Your eyes fixated on him. Soon, it became glassy. He felt your heartbeat stop. 

You went limp. 

“I-I would say you were stupid to fall for me... B-But I was the one who was stupid... Y/N...” 

The flowers all started to wilt and turn black. Soon they turned to ash. 

A sure sign that... You were gone. 

Gundham Tanaka: 

God. You were pretty surprised when you first saw him. Surprised at his ice-cream swirled hair, different eyes, that he had no eyebrows... 

That he was the first person to ever ask for your number and the first to actually steal your heart. 

You’ve never had a crush until he appeared in your life. 

Holy smokes, only three weeks into your love disease and you felt as if you couldn’t take it anymore... You were pretty weak to begin with. 

Your chest pounded every time your heart beat. 

Yet, you knew you weren’t at the last stage at all, not even close. Only petals of Irises, the sour shade of purple could never be the same. 

“Your friendship means so much to me,”

That’s what the flower meant. And you hated it’s meaning... 

The word friendship seemed terrible to you. 

Even if it could be platonic, you wanted him to love you. 

Just... To say it... Maybe once or twice? 

Hauling into the new wrinkly trashbag on your bed, in the morning, you couldn’t stop thinking about him... 

About his deep masculine voice, his silky colored hair, his cute Devas of Destruction he kept in close proximity. 

Not even to mention one of your closest friends... 

“Oh god-” You mumbled, throwing up more Iris petals and blood, making you a bit lightheaded. 

Sometimes you wondered how you even got into this situation... So you reminisced the start of this terrible agony. 

It was after a quick game of Truth or Dare with Sonia, Kazuichi, Mahiru, Hiyoko, and Akane. 

Gundham had urged you, his “Lady of Dark Sorcery”, to join him and his other friends, with the exception of Kazuichi whom Akane had brought along. 

However, he didn’t have to do much persuading. Truth or Dare sounded fun anyways. 

You all had a fun time, and you had learned much more about Gundham then you had thought. Like how he once kissed a chicken to lure it back to a farm, which got you giggling like a baby. 

(Still good friends to this day, can’t prove it otherwise babes) 

When departing, everyone went to do their own things. May it be homework, extra or after school classes, clubs, or more specifically for you, going to your locker to get some stuff your forgot. (I know there aren’t any lockers in Hopes Peak, but for the sake of this scene, bare with me-)

During your slow walk there, Gundham was pictured in your mind. 

He looked so good that day and seemed nicer today than other days. 

The Devas had to become closer to you as well. 

Approaching your locker, you felt your chest grow tight. Maybe growing extra weight, heavy you could say. 

A little cough came out, but you paid no mind to it. 

Something could have been itching your throat a bit. You hadn’t drunk water since your 2nd period and it was already the end of the school day. 

As soon as you shoved your textbooks into your bag, the urge to throw up overwhelmed you. 

You crumpled up the clothes near your stomach, to try and ease the pain you were feeling through your hand. 

Using your other hand, you covered your mouth just in case you threw up. 

It created an awkward stance but it would suffice. Dropping your bag to lighten the load and locking your locker, you ran to the nearest bathroom. 

During your rush to the restroom, you started coughing. Step after step, you could feel your hacks becoming more louder. You could say they were becoming more... Violent. 

You pushed the bathroom door open with the hand you were using to hold your stomach, the door almost hitting the other side of the wall. 

Pacing over to the farthest stall, you concealed yourself in it. Sitting on the toilet with an uneasy face. Well, of course you had an uneasy face on since you were feeling uneasy. 

What was with that urge to throw up? You know you didn’t eat anything bad today nor yesterday. 

Taking your hand away from your face, your eyes took interest in what you found on it. 

There was a tiny puddle of blood and a small petal, the color of pale yellow. 

This confused you and you almost screamed. 

But, it was a petal!?

Your eyes definitely widened more than usual. When did this happen?? 

You got some toilet paper and rolled it up a bit to make it thicker. You wiped the blood and the petal off your hand. The petal smoothly came off along with the blood, but it left a dark smear on your palm. 

The urge of throwing up disappeared, bit the heavy feeling lingered in your chest and throat. 

Standing up, you sighed and took a deep breath. you exited the stall and headed to the sink to wash your hands. 

Turning it on, you put your hands underneath the faucet, letting the water wrap around your skin. You had started scrubbing with soap when a cheery voice appeared. 

“Ah! Y/N, nice to see you here!” 

Sonia Nevermind. 

You quickly glanced over to the right, where Sonia was including the exit/entrance. 

Her smile shone brightly as she awaited your response. 

Getting caught by surprise, you answered, “A-Ah, Sonia! Hi...” You awkwardly chuckled, waving your left hand which was still wet while your right hand was under the faucet, which was still running. 

She looked and started staring at your face. Feeling a bunch of nervousness for some reason, you looked at her eyes and determined that she was staring at your mouth. 

You promptly looked away and took a quick look at the mirror in front of you. 

In your reflection, you could see a red (or pink, again you choose) smudge near your lips and chin. 

Shocking you a bit, you gathered water by cupping your hands together and splashed it on your face to get rid of the blood that was stained on your skin. 

Sonia’s upbeat look turned into a compassionate frown. 

“You... Have Hanahaki?” She gave a breathy laugh, but her wording was a tad different than how she would usually say stuff. It wasn’t as formal. 

You got some papertowels and dried your face and hands. 

Throwing your trash away, you looked at Sonia with a puzzled glimpse. 

“Hana...Haki?” You asked. 

As if catching her off guard now, she yelped a little. Had she... Not meant to say that out loud? 

“I-Indeed!” Her proper composer came back, “It is a rare disease that only appears when you think your love is one-sided!” 

She tried to seem optimistic about it but her frown somewhat gave it away, along with the forced tone she had. 

“Could you... Tell me more Sonia?” You avoided her stare. 

However it was Sonia who seemed more uncomfortable. 

“Of course! But maybe I could tell you, uhm, later?” She put on an awkward smile. 

You nodded and continued to wash your hands. When the two of you walked out of the stalls, Sonia started explaining this Hanahaki disease. It continued on like a ramble, however, she did stop quite abruptly after explaining how “surgery seems like the best option...” 

It would seem quite obvious that the two of you become closer than usual. 

After the day was done, you traveled back home and studied about this Hanahaki, pushing all of your homework aside.. 

Hours and hours passed. The clicking of a computer, shuffling of papers, the tapping of your foot echoed in your room. 

You found two solutions. Two options. 

Surgery, like Sonia had said. 

Or confess your love. 

God, you didn’t like either of these. 

A tiny cough escaped your mouth. 

Surgery was expensive. Not a lot of people get Hanahaki and the survival rate of the surgery overall is super low. Even if you did manage to survive, your feelings for anyone would disappear. 

You didn’t want that. 

Your heart ached more than before. 

The thought of losing Gundham entered your mind. 

You wanted to love him, not lose him- 

Suddenly, coughs came out of your mouth, along with some sprinkles of blood. 

“Shit-!” You yelped, as you felt something sharp crawl out of your throat. 

You were thinking about Gundham again... You didn’t pay attention to stuff that fell onto the floor. 

What Sonia said earlier slipped into your mind, “It is a rare disease that only appears when you think your love is one-sided!” 

You loved Gundham. 

It was probably one-sided anyways! 

He never seemed head over heels for you... But for Sonia... 

The one who was dishing out advice. 

...

But she was the only one who knew you had this mysterious Hanahaki. 

Knowing her, it would break her princess heart to know you had feelings for Gundham... 

Wait.

Well... Did she like Gundham?

You entered into a small coughing fit again. The pain hurt so much... And it was supposed to intensify later on?!

No, you needed to focus right now.

You grabbed your phone and wiped a little drop of blood from it. 

Your eyes then focused more on the floor. 

There was a tiny bud with triangular purple petals around it. It was connected to a slightly spiky stem. 

That wasn’t important at the moment.

Concentrating on the phone again you dialed Sonia’s number. The ringing echoed throughout your room, which did not at all help you with your rising anxiety. 

Unexpectedly, Sonia’s voice came through, “Sonia Nevermind, Future Queen of the Kingdom of Novoselic! Anything you need Y/N?” 

Her voice was so happy and innocent. 

If you said you had feelings for Gundham, would she still like you?! Would telling her tarnish your friendship with her?! What if she ignores you forever?!

No, you shouldn’t think of that. Sonia would never hold grudges, right? Now’s not the time for overthinking. 

Gathering your courage which had toppled over, you spoke, “Uhm, h-hey Sonia. I have a question, “You took some deep breaths, “Do you like Gundham?” 

You held in some coughs just saying his name. God you really were in love with him. 

“Oh!” She exclaimed, obviously a bit surprised at the question, “May I ask w-why you’re asking this?” Her tone faltered and her fancy talk wavered a bit. 

But most importantly. 

She didn’t answer the question. Avoided it completely. 

“You didn’t answer my-” You coughed a bit, “q-question,” 

The other side of the phone became completely silent. Not a word nor peep. 

Did you scare her off? Did she actually like him? Did you make a mistake?! 

Your chest swelled and the soreness grew immensely. 

Pressing the mute button, you groaned in pain. You held your chest as if it would pop if you didn’t. 

So, you started in another coughing fit. 

Between coughs and breaths, you muttered, “Why, t-the hell, am I, coughing?!” 

Looking at your phone, which was now having it’s edges engulfed in the creases of your bed and you sitting in your swivel chair next to it, you stared at the profile picture you set for Sonia. It was her posing in front of Hope’s Peak with you and Gundham. 

Gundham. 

Of course. He was on your mind without even being conscious of it. 

You turned the chair so you put your gaze at the blank wall of your room instead of the beaming phone. 

Sonia decided to speak up. 

“Y/N, “ She started, “ I don’t like him. Nor do I love him. But I like him as a friend. And only as a friend.” 

Then she gave out a giggle, “You like Gundham, don’t you~” 

Very surprised how she didn’t know so beforehand but it gave you a smile in this serious situation. 

You unmuted yourself. “Shushhh~, you’re gonna make me cough again ya know?” You snickered a bit, some coughs slowly emerging out of your mouth. 

To keep the talk going, Sonia blurted out an apology, “I’m sorry that I left you in silence for so long, it wasn’t very royal of me.” 

“Want to explain why?” You closed your eyes to save your sight from Gundham. 

“W-Well, I used to have Hanahaki, which is one of the main reasons I knew so much information about it-” 

You gave out a laugh, opened your eyes, and twirled the chair so you were facing the wall again. 

“I figured so!” Your smirk didn’t go away. 

You needed something to distract you from your disease. 

“Here! I’ll try my best to help you in any way you can!”

You swung the chair so you could look back at the phone, almost falling off by how fast you turned it, in awe, “R-Really?! Sonia y-you don’t have to-” 

“I promise and no backsies!!” She squealed in the phone and hung up so you couldn’t have a rebuttal. 

You started laughing from Sonia’s compassion, forgetting about the flowers that spewed out earlier.

She would help you with everything. 

From making food, helping you with homework, giving you answers... 

Soon, days past... But they felt like months. 

Every day was more excruciating than the last. 

Soon the pain became too much. The aching in your chest was so heavy, and yet so tight. 

Now... Back to where we were... 

Oh yeah, you were hauling into the trash since you were thinking about the dark haired beauty three weeks after you got the disease. 

You wanted to confess... 

Get out of this shitty state you were in. 

You weakly got up from you bed, which now had two new blood stains. 

Stumbling a little, you entered your bathroom to get ready for school making sure there was no remaining blood on your uniform, skin, or hair. Looking in the mirror, you could see your pale face like you had seen a ghost. No, more like your own soul was leaving your vessel. 

Gundham, being one of your closest friends, would absolutely notice. You reached for some makeup and started to make your skin color come back. Like it was normal. 

Your face was becoming paler and your body was becoming weaker by the day... 

Lets not forget the feelings in your chest that rumbled and was ready to explode at any moment. 

Packing your bags and eating a little rice (since you have little to no appetite now), you walked out of your house and started slowly walking to school. 

You called Sonia (which is now routine), whose profile picture you’ve changed for your own sake. 

The pain wouldn’t stop growing. You wanted it to just stop. It just... Hurt so much!

It was becoming tighter every day, making it harder to breathe. Hell, it was just plain hard to breathe normally anymore. 

As the tall towers of Hopes Peak came into view, Sonia asked, “So! Any plans?” Her peppy and excited tone was her regular voice I suppose. 

“I’m confessing today,” your throat felt swollen. 

Silence again. 

It was becoming a bit of a habit for Sonia. 

But here was a response you weren’t expecting, “No,” She sternly said. 

“What?”

You came to a halt as the shadow of a tree wavered on you. You were struck stupid and confused by Sonia’s sudden outburst, “I said no! By a princess’s and future queen’s authority, I order you to not confess!”

“Sonia what’s going on??” You coughed a little as you started walking again. 

Soon your walking went to jogging and then face-paced running. 

You ran to the school ahead of you and went to the usual place Sonia would wait for you. Even if it hurt to run, to breathe hard, even if it took all of your energy, you ran. 

She was going to talk again but you ended the call and grabbed her wrist with a sweaty face and panting breaths. 

“W...What the hell?” You glared at Sonia who had a worried face on. 

“I-I told you I was going to confess on this specific date, today! You have given me silence afterwards like you were thinking about what to say to me... And you always say something along the lines of ‘Go for it!’ What’s with the sudden no?!” 

You were confused... Sonia had never rejected the idea of you confessing today.  She avoided your eye contact and stared at the floor, giving you silence once more. 

Great. Silence. Again. 

You eased your grip so you could slowly regain your energy, awaiting her response. And soon, you got one. 

“I don’t want you to die Y/N... You are my best friend and over these last weeks, we’ve gotten so close...” She put her hand on your shoulder. 

Your eyes widened. This statement got you pissed. Friend? 

She cared for you, you knew that... But... 

“I thought I said no to surgery Sonia...” You knocked her hand off your shoulder which got her to gasp, and you started stomping your way into the school, and maybe, if you were lucky, find Gundham.

A few steps in the hallways and your heartbeat starting ringing in your ears again. 

Instantly, regret seeped into you. You felt bad that you had talked to Sonia that way... Especially since... 

She was right. It could be your last talk with her. You wouldn’t be able to say sorry if this confession didn’t go right. 

Wanting to say sorry in your own unique way, you entered your classroom, sat at your desk, and took out a pieces of paper and a pen. To write an apology for Sonia of course... 

Word after word, you felt tears fighting to break out and streamline down your cheeks. 

However, you always stopped them by rubbing them with your sleeves, soaking up the tears so your eyes were practically dry. 

Finishing up your letter, you clicked your pen and let out a long breath. It felt as if you had this moment in time where all the suffering hid itself and you felt in peace... Though peace, never lasts long. 

Looking up, you saw Gundham standing next to you, blocking the sunlight from the window. How could you have not heard him enter the classroom? 

Panicking a bit, you looked up at the clock. 6:09. Damnit, you and Sonia always enter school early so at the moment... 

It was only you and Gundham. 

The aching from this morning was harsh, and now that he was here? Your chest tightened again and your throat felt scorched. Your face blew up in heat, causing you to sweat a little. 

“Hello, my dark friend...” He glanced at the letter you wrote, your hand trying to hiver over it so he wouldn’t be able to read it... Though that barely worked when your arm was shaking and feeling paralyzed. 

“What happened to you and Sonia? Why is the Princess of Darkness, fighting with the Dark Friend of the Overlord of Ice, may I wonder?” 

You looked down. The word friend... No don’t think of that, you planned this confession, and are willing to set it through to the end... Your chest felt swollen and your heartbeat drummed throughout your whole body.

“We... Had a disagreement-” You made a mistake that couldn’t be taken back. 

You talked to him. 

Aches and cramps appeared of your nowhere, you chest grew heavier every second Gundham was standing there watching, and your eyes started to water due to all the pain. 

But you stood up straight, tried to endure the pain, held in your escaping coughs... For him...

“Y/N. What has happened to you?” His voice become soft, yet still demanding and strong. 

A full cough came out. Some blood and petals spilled out of your mouth. 

It was now or never. Ride or die now.

“G-Gundham! I-I lo-lo-lov-lo-!”

You basically gargled with coughs. They wouldn’t let you finish that sentence.

Shit...

Was this the end? End of you? 

No, it couldn’t be. No, no, no!

You had to think quick, but the heartbeat ringing in your whole head was making it quite the challenge. Your whole body started shaking and your tears couldn’t handle being held in your eyes anymore so they fell gently across your cheeks. 

Paper and pen. 

Hastily getting a piece of paper, you started writing on it. Your handwriting was messy but legible, “Gundham, I love you so much, how you talk, how you act, how you treat others. I love everything about you!” A few teardrops landing on the paper, but you didn’t mind. 

As you handed him the small note, you turned to the other side of your desk and hauled out flowers and blood. Still purple petals and somewhat spiky stems, mixed with the terrible color of your blood. Your coughs managed to overcome your will to keep them in. 

God, this was embarrassing! The sizzle in your throat seemed like you’ve burned it. 

He quickly read the small letter and looked at you, in your terrible state. 

Eyes of sadness stared at you. 

“Y/N L/N... Daughter of the Evil Underlord... Best friend of the Overlord of Ice...”

He took a moment of silence... Oh how silence would forever haunt you. 

“Is... Dying?” He had a smile of disbelief. He had heard the curse of Hanahaki, judging from the flowers you are currently throwing up... But he never thought it to be true. 

He felt stupid and frustrated that he couldn’t conclude this earlier. There were so many factors to try and see. How you tried your best to avoid him, Sonia’s blunt excuses for you, how you even hung out with Sonia than him often. 

You turned back to him, your face showing pain, making his face seem to fall into despair. 

As soon as you made eye contact with him, all of a sudden all the pain grew rapidly. Your chest started hurting more than it ever did before, the agony became intolerable! You gasped from the sudden cramps and all. 

You felt stupid too. Only three weeks into the disease and you made a risk that wasn’t really needed. 

Death looked like the easiest option to escape from this... Embarrassing and depressing moment.

Gundham kneeled in front of you, who was still sitting on the desk, trying to hold in your coughs and vomit still. 

“I... Am deeply sorry Y/N...” 

You fully faced him and, like your knees gave out, you fell to the floor. Probably because you have lost so much blood right now that your body was even weaker than before. 

He caught you, luckily, and hugged you tight. You wanted to smile, but the aching happening inside your body caught you in a different place. 

Gundham, not knowing what to do, started yelling for help, “ SONIA! M-MIKAN! SOMEONE HELP US!” His deep voice seemed to crack and was desperate. 

But you knew it would do no good. You would die either way. 

Your tears started roughly falling now, down your face and  onto his shoulder, where your head relied. 

Flowers spewed out of your mouth faster now, splattering blood and spit behind Gundham. 

You tried your best not to get it on Gundham’s clothes, but you failed horribily. 

“G-G” you gagged, “Gundham!” You clenched his clothes out of struggle, your eyes focusing on the full flowers... Hah, you couldn’t recognize them with their five purple petals, surrounding a bright yellow bud, all wrapped around the tip of a slightly spiked stem... Would you die never knowing what those flowers meant?

“Y-Yes my dark friend? Tell me!” He cried out, obviously showing panic racing in his veins.

“Y-you like S-Sonia, d-d-don’t you...” This time, you smiled. Not because you found something funny or anything... But because you mentioned Sonia. 

You didn’t want to leave this plane without thinking about her. Even if the last memory was a bad one. 

“I-” 

“P-please d-don’t l-lie,” you sobbed, your smile still on your face, “I-I knew it b-before I-I g-got this dis-disease...” You felt your breathe slipping away. Oh god, is this was it felt like to die? 

He hugged you tighter, making it harder to breathe. 

“I’m ever so sorry that I made you feel this way, I-I must have cursed you somehow-”

He eased the hug when he realized that you must have had difficulty breathing, but he kept you in his arms.  He had lost so much. Losing you was the last thing on his mind. 

“I-I c-cursed my-myself...” You stammered, blood and all everywhere on the floor around you guys. 

It was almost like he was cradling you, like you were a child in need of a lullaby. You looked up to Gundham , expecting to see him smile... Or just to see his face in general...

But you never expected to see him... Cry... 

Gundham’s face was also in pain, it was the face you should have on right now. With all your might, you shakily placed your hand on his face. 

“P-Please don’t cry...” You said, trying not to stutter. 

He wiped his tears with one hand, the other holding you so you wouldn’t fall, “O-Of course dearest friend...” 

Friend, huh? I guess that’s what your guy’s relationship always was. Close friends. But he held in his hiccups, his tears, the sorrow he’s feeling inside so it wouldn’t be that much harder on you, for you were dying... He did it for you since... 

That’s what a good friend would do, right?

“H-Hey... C-cou-ould you... Te-ell S-Sonia... I’ll m-miss her? A-And... I-I’m s-sor-rry...?” With all your might, you spoke with a weak smile. You didn’t want to make it harder for Gundham, anymore than it already is.

“Yes... Anything for you Y/N...” He whispered, his tears having the urge to fall once more. 

“And... I-If i-it isn’t m-much o-of a b-b-bother...” You stuttered, struggling to speak as your oxygen depleted. 

“Yeah? Yes, yes what is it?” He quickly spit out the words, hoping you could respond before you took your last breath. 

“C-Com-mofrt-t S-Son-nia... A-Aft-ter... I-I’m go-one...” You wheezed, feeling no more coughs or blood wanting to stream out again... But your chest still ached and everything hurt. Tears dripped down onto the floor, making your dark blood ripple in circles. 

“Please...” 

With that word you hadn’t stuttered, using the rest of your energy to make sure you could get it out in perfect sense... 

Yours eyes glassed and your heartbeat came to a steady stop. A thin line of blood came out from your mouth and down your face. 

“I... I promise Y/N... I’m sorry for... Everything...” Gundham whispered, holding your limp body closer to him. 

He looked around and saw all the flowers wilting but before one could go away, he remembered what it was. Five triangular purple petals, a long yellow bud, spiky stem. 

A bittersweet flower. 

Of course, he knew what it meant. 

“Truth” 

He thought he was imagining things, but Gundham was sure he saw your mouth twitch into a subtle smile... And it stayed... 

The hart part now was... To explain what happened to you... 

To Sonia. 

He looked around and saw all the flowers wilting and turning into nothing but ash, but before one could go away, he remembered what it was. Five triangular purple petals, a long yellow bud, spiky stem.

A bittersweet flower.

Of course, he knew what it meant.

“Truth”

Yeah... I guess the truth can be harsh.

[heartsywritesthethings]

Fire Force 3

Part 1 Part 2 

“I am not sure what exactly you guys are thinking with this stuff. The captain won’t let us get away with this again.” Shinra said, looking at the clothes that the girls in station 8 had tossed to him. 

It was him, Maki, Tamaki and Iris were out shopping again. The girls had insisted that after a crappy couple of days, Shinra needed some retail therapy. Shinra didn’t really believe that this shopping trip was for him and it turns out he was right. The last time that they had gone shopping, they had bought Hinawa some bunny boy shorts, bunny ears, and a very low-cut shirt. The girls had immediately tossed Shinra under the bus when the captain found his lieutenant dressed like that.  

“But it’ll be absolutely hilarious when he wears this stuff again! You’ll definitely feel better when he wears this stuff.” Maki said, dropping a very questionable pair of shorts in the basket.

“But…when the captain finds out we did this to his lieutenant again.” Shinra said, raising an eyebrow at the bright pink shorts that had the word “juicy” written on the butt. Despite the looming fear of being chewed out by Captain Obi again, he couldn’t help but smile. Just imagining the stoic Hinawa in something like this was absolutely hilarious. 

“Go ahead, Shinra. Pick something out! We can also get you something!” Maki said and continued to look around the store.

“I’m not helping you find anything to wear. Pervert.” Tamaki said as she passed and dropped another item of clothing in the basket.

“B-but, I don’t have anything to pay for it. I just have my regular clothes for work and a couple of comfortable street clothes.” Shinra said and pulled at his shirt. He had very little clothes if he was being honest. He had his casual clothes for the station, the uniform, and maybe two streetwear outfits. Nothing too special since he didn’t really earn a lot of money being a rookie. Not that he was one to complain. Earning any kind of money was a nice change for him. 

“Oh, well, I was going to cover it for you anyways. Get yourself a new shirt or something.” Maki said and ruffled Shinra’s hair rather roughly. Shinra’s smile widened and he stumbled forward. Damn, that girl really didn’t know her own strength. 

“I couldn’t-” Shinra said before someone placed a hand on his shoulder. Iris looked at him with her wide eyes. It made him blush to think that she was this close to him.

“You will. By the almighty Sol, all of us shall be grateful for the gifts given in love.” Iris said sweetly. She squeezed his shoulder before passing him and looking at the nun section in the store. 

Shinra felt his heart squeeze a little. No one other than Ogun really ever gave him any gifts, but that hadn’t really counted either. Being in this station was just about the best thing that could have ever happened. Everyone was so nice to him, it was kind of weird. His whole childhood he had been treated as a monster…as an experiment…nothing other than a nuisance. With this crew though, it felt like he actually had friends. Even Arthur had been more friendly to him these last couple of days. 

Something about it felt wrong. Like the other shoe was about to drop or something terrible was about to happen. He couldn’t just be comfortable with everyone being nice to him. He didn’t deserve it.

The real smile that had been on his face was soon replaced by his shark-like smile because of how tense he suddenly was. He looked down in the basket of ridiculous clothing the girls were going to give Hinawa. Sure, it was all in good fun, but he probably shouldn’t be giving the lieutenant a reason not to like him. So, while the others weren’t looking, he began to put the shirts and shorts back where they belonged on their respective racks.

“Hey! What are you doing?” Maki demanded, catching him in the act of putting the shorts back. Shinra jumped at the sudden shouting and realized that he had definitely been caught in the act. 

“U-uh, well, I just thought that m-maybe the lieutenant wouldn’t appreciate being made a fool twice by us.” Shinra said, setting the shorts down. He scratched the back of his head nervously. Maki stormed over to him and took the juicy shorts and shoved them back in the basket. She looked at Shinra up and down before snatching the basket as well.

“Find yourself something too and then we’re heading back to the station. I gotta go find the rest of the stuff you put back.” Maki said before swiveling on her heel and heading back over to get the other clothes she had gotten already. 

Shinra watched her leave and the tense smile on his face widened. He definitely pissed her off. What else was he supposed to do though? It wasn’t as if he wanted to make an enemy of the captain and the second in command. 

“What are you pouting about, pervert?” Tamaki asked and poked him in the side. Shinra jumped slightly and shoved his hands in his pockets. As soon as Tamaki gets near him, something bad happens. As long as he kept his hands to himself, he could attempt to keep her lecher lure at bay.

“Uh, well, I was just thinkin’ that maybe the lieutenant wouldn’t appreciate us trying to sabotage his wardrobe again.” Shinra said, taking a couple of small steps away from his fellow crewmate. She rolled her eyes and lightly punched him in the shoulder. 

“You idiot. We’re just trying to have some fun, dude. The whole point was to make you feel better, but if you’re going to be a downer then this whole trip was a wash.” She groaned.

“O-oh. Really? The whole point of the trip?” Shinra asked, feeling his cheeks turn pink again. Tamaki pouted and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Well, yeah. It’s super boring whenever you get like this. We all wanted to do something to get you from forming mushrooms in your room.” Tamaki said, looking over at the other girls as they scanned the clothes on the racks. 

“W-what?” Shinra asked. He almost couldn’t believe that Tamaki was actually saying something nice to him. It would be weirder if it was Arthur was saying it, but still. Tamaki took one small step forward, but that’s all it took.

She tripped over her own feet and ended up tumbling on top of Shinra. They both fell against the clothing rack and then fell to the ground. Tamaki landed on top of Shinra, and somehow his hands both landed on her breasts. Her knee ended up in between his legs, pressed up against a very sensitive part of his body. 

They stared at each other in shock for a moment before Tamaki whined and pulled herself off of him as quickly as possible.

“How did that even happen?!” Shinra groaned, shaking his hands as if to rid himself of the feeling of holding something…somethings….

“You perv!” Tamaki huffed and crossed her arms over her chest as she stumbled up properly to her feet. 

“Sir, we are going to have to ask for you to leave if you are going to be touching other customers inappropriately.” the store manager said, doing his best not to stare at Tamaki. Shinra smiled, but he didn’t mean to. The man took a small step back and away from him.

A wave of shame flooded Shinra’s mind. Right. A monster. That is what he would always be in people’s minds. Because of his talent and his stupid smile. 

“Sorry, sir,” Shinra said, pulling himself up to his feet. He gave the manager a small bow out of respect before he jogged out of the store. Once outside, he sat down on a nearby bench and put his face in his hands. What was his problem? Why couldn’t he just…be…normal?

When the girls were finished with their shopping, they all filed out with several bags set on their arms. Maki looked as if she wanted to say something to Shinra, but stopped when she saw that tense look on his face. He was smiling again, but at this point, she knew what a real smile on him looked like. Of course she wanted to help, but…she didn’t think she could do it properly. She’d just have to let the captain know. 

As they walked back to the station, Maki wondered what it must have been like for Shinra to grow up with everyone around him despising him for something he couldn’t control. It wasn’t like he had wanted everyone to look at him with such looks of disdain. 

“You guys go on ahead,” Shinra said with a small wave as they arrived in front of the station 8 building. 

“Works for me!” Tamaki said and looped her arm with Iris. “Come on, we gotta get these ready and then we have prayer!”

Maki watched the other two girls walk in, staying behind along with the rookie. She took a deep breath and put her hand on Shinra’s shoulder.

“You know, I’ve seen real monsters. All the time actually. It’s a part of the reason why I wanted to join the military in the first place after all.” She said. Shinra looked up at her in confusion. He didn’t interrupt though. “But you aren’t one of those. You’re just an annoying little newbie.”

With that, she ruffled his hair and headed inside the building. She didn’t think that helped much and she was headed straight to the captain’s quarters to let him know that they still needed to work on cheering him up. This was a rough week for Shinra and they needed to figure out how to handle this.

Shinra watched as Maki stepped into the building. He put a hand on his own head, where Maki had ruffled his hair. Just another annoying kid, huh? Not a monster? Not a devil? Huh. He could live with that.

13/25

 -Ga!babe

[fuyuhikoismybabygansta]

Can I request NDRV3 boys and s/o who is deaf. And s/o is now wearing hearing aids and hears the boys voices for the first time?

I can see how this prompt would get emotional... thanks for requesting. I love writing the happy-ish angst stuff.

-Mod Maki

Saihara Shuuichi✎

As a detective, he’s very quick to learn things.

Therefore, sign language was no problem for him.

He got used to your predicament very quickly.

It really was no problem for him.

Physical affection was the core of your relationship.

Well, the verbal romance was a little hard but…

The thought of flirting through sign language was… very cute, according to Saihara.

He loved seeing your reactions when he did so.

It also gives him confidence that he signed properly.

Then… one day, you tell him you want to change.

You don’t want to live in this condition anymore.

You want to hear the noises of the world.

The birds outside, the soft noises of the wind…

The cars passing by when you walk around…

Most importantly, you want to hear his voice.

He suggested hearing aids.

They were the most immediate and… he didn’t like to admit it but the cheapest way.

He loved you very much but he was unable to provide financially for you in that sense.

The day came eventually.

There was silence for a while between you…

You were amazed.

So these were the sounds of the world…

Amazing.

“S-So, did it work?”

You immediately scream and then flinch.

Oh dear lord what was that annoying noise-

Ah, you just screamed, right.

Saihara is scared.

Poor boy.

You burst into tears.

“S-Say that a-again, please!”

“What do I have to say again?”

You cry harder.

You’re so happy.

It’s HIS voice.

The Saihara Shuuichi that you love… the boy detective.

His voice, for your ears to hear.

You can definitely get used to this.

Amami Rantaro❂

He already knew sign language.

Don’t ask him how, he just picked it up somewhere.

He never really found learning other languages THAT difficult.

Including sign.

He loved the way you always just, reacted, before responding.

You never reacted and spoke at the same time.

Like Shuuichi, it gave him confidence that you were understanding him.

He also completely forgot about the existence of hearing aids until one day.

You visit his parents with him and his mother says something that you can’t hear…

Rantarou is like the interpreter for you and his parents.

His mother has suggested hearing aids.

You tell him that you’ve always been sceptical of hearing aids so you’ve never tried them out.

He DEMANDS that you try them.

His father is going deaf and apparently, they’ve worked wonders for him.

His parents even offer to pay the funds.

You start crying because of their generosity.

And before you know it, you’re putting them in.

You wait a few seconds before turning them on.

“I love you~” Rantarou purrs as if to test them.

You stare at him wide-eyed.

“Hm, I assume they’re working?”

Tears are falling down your face.

“Y-Y-You… voice…” You can’t even form a sentence.

He laughs.

You bury your face into his chest and wail.

How come you’ve been missing out on this?!

His laugh, his… his voice!

You’re so overcome with emotion… you can’t possibly calm down.

It takes a few instances for you to stop crying.

For example, the morning after this all happens, he wakes you up by calling you a sleepyhead.

You start crying again and you can’t stop.

It wasn’t all a dream…

You will never be used to this.

Kiibo✪

He does not understand it.

How can a human be lacking in that sense?

Weren’t humans supposed to… function properly…?

You explained it to him, some people were like… the beta versions of a robot.

Functional but not to as much as we’d like.

He gets it a little bit better but not really.

“Your example was lacking in tact. Those days of mine were very sensitive, constantly being brought to life and then disposed of! That was slightly robophobic of you to say, S/O!”

Well, of course, he signs it.

You can’t tell what tone of voice he’s trying to use but…

Anyway!

He tries to research how he can fix you.

Then, it comes to him…

Hearing aids!

Of course!

He tells you and you smile.

Of course, you’ll try it but…

You have your doubts.

Then you’re amazed.

He talks and you’re amazed that he has such a human-sounding voice?

You wouldn’t say that though.

That’s robophobic!

Kaito Momota✯

You never knew how loud he was.

How were you to know anyway?

It all started with you getting particularly emotional one day.

And him comforting you as usual.

“So, hearing’s your enemy, yeah??” He signed.

You don’t know what he means...

Then he signs something about “You’ll have to wait.”

His sign language is sloppy and broken.

But then... he gives you a gift one day.

Hearing aids...

These must have been expensive.

You put them in eagerly and you get a little carried away.

You turn them up to full volume, thinking that wouldn’t be loud enough.

Then Kaito spoke.

God, his voice was loud enough to make you go deaf again.

But you couldn’t help it.

You were crying.

“No no, don’t cry like that! That’s weakness speaking!”

But then he softens up a little.

Imagine not being able to hear anything at all...

He suddenly feels really deeply for you.

He holds you tighter than he ever has before.

“I love you...”

Gonta Gokuhara✿

He doesn’t get it at all.

Gonta can hear so why can’t S/O?

He’s a little upset that you can’t even hear your own voice.

How would your thoughts sound in your head?

If you couldn’t hear then how would ANYTHING work?

How would you know how loud to talk?

What if you were in a dangerous situation where you had to whisper?

Did you even know how to whisper...?

He had so many questions but he’s a gentleman, so he definitely couldn’t ask.

Then, one day you told him you wanted to fix your hearing.

He asked, wasn’t it something you couldn’t fix?

You tell him your parents are going to pay for hearing aids.

You also have to explain what they ARE.

He’s amazed! Something like that really exists?!

When you try it out, he’s just as excited.

Then, he talks.

You expected his voice to be WAY deeper.

You can’t bring yourself to be emotional, you’re just really surprised!

This is such a pleasant change!

You can hear things now...!

Ouma Kokichi♕

He always scares you.

He knows it’s mean because you can’t hear him coming but...

That’s what makes it so good.

It’s funny when you react accordingly but when you cry he kinda feels bad.

He wouldn’t know how to live without hearing.

It’d be so hard yet he continues to pester you.

He hopes you know it’s all a joke.

Then, one day you get a little fed up.

You could LIVE without hearing but being scared so mercilessly...

It was annoying and you didn’t know when to expect it.

Ever.

So you decided to get hearing aids, but you didn’t tell Ouma.

So one day, he’s creeping up behind you and you turn around as fast as ever.

He’s stunned.

How did you-

How-

He thought you were deaf?

What if you were lying the whole time...?

He couldn’t deal with somebody being a better liar than him.

So he pouted.

“No fair...”

Then he looks at your ears.

You start crying.

“Yeah... I heard you.”

He’s crying too but you doubt it’s real.

Then he stiffens up.

He sniffles.

Okay, it was kinda real.

Don’t tell anyone though.

He’s sad that he can’t scare you anymore but he’s also glad that he’s got an excuse to stop his bad habit.

Korekiyo Shinguuji✞

It was extremely easy for him to learn sign language.

H’s an anthropologist, for goodness sakes.

He could learn everything he needed to as fast as ever.

He was used to having to learn things hastily, as he’s been around many people when studying.

Except, being in a relationship with such a person was difficult.

It was hard to be affectionate without saying anything.

Then, you suggested hearing aids.

To his relief, his feelings towards the whole predicament were mutual.

You had both found it awfully hard. 

When you finally hear his voice, you’re shocked.

He sounds so... elegant.

A lot higher pitched than you had expected but...

He sounded perfect.

It was amazing.

He had expected you to be more emotional than this.

He had the nerve to take off his mask and passionately kiss you.

You could hear his breath as you paused for a break.

You could hear EVERYTHING.

You had to stop yourself from crying.

You kind of did want to hear him say “It’s not good to be emotional.” though.

Like, verbally... not signing.

You were so happy.

Hoshi Ryoma☯

He knew you were unhappy.

He’s an unhappy person himself, he can always tell when others share that same emotion.

He tried to console you as much as he possibly could but he still felt powerless.

In the grand scheme of things, he was small...

Even more so than an average male his age.

He would never admit that, however.

Then, he suggested, just out of the blue, some sort of technology to restore your hearing.

That piece of technology is hearing aids.

You agree, excited as all hell.

The day finally comes.

You’re just about to put them in.

Then, Hoshi has thoughts.

What if you hate him for how he sounds?

That was a possibility he didn’t even start to consider.

He hoped for the best but expected the worst.

You grinned.

“I... I hear things.”

He clears his throat and makes a comment about how good that is.

You get a fright and nearly fall backwards.

“W-Where’s my Hoshi and what did you do with him?!”

You were joking of course.

It took him a second to notice that.

Then you laugh and he’s chuckling with you.

It’s nice to hear his laugh...

You’re shocked to no end though.

He really had that type of voice?

You’ll never truly get over his voice to be quite honest.

Whenever he speaks from that day forward, you’re still reminded of the initial shock.