#I NEED a lizzie and bdubs team up it’s not even funny

[mxmarsbars]

some colorful doodles before I go to sleep >_<

[galaxy-lilies]

FINISHED THE HOTGUY ZINE AND AAAAAAAAH /POS

okay im going to put my thoughts under the cut cause OUGH this is going to be a long post LMAO

FIRST OFF can i just say how amazing and incredible the folk who organized the whole event are, they deserve absolute kudos

AND ANOTHER FIRST OFF: SHOUTOUT TO ALL THE LOVELY WRITERS, ARTISTS, EDITORS, ETC. WHO CONTRIBUTED YALL ARE INCREDIBLE

okay okay finally into the recap that was an amazing 3 and a half hours of my life

Pages 1-103:

When I first saw the heads up about how the zine was interconnected and skipping any part would potentially lead to some plot i was immediately intrigued then i was immediately hit with the other realization of "410 PAGES???? HELLO????"

the first comic was so fucking cute OMG LIZZIE'S DESIGN WAS SO CUTE AND THE SILLY SLIDESHOW HUMOR BETWEEN JOEL, SCAR, AND LIZZIE

"hold on let me make some edits-" "no let ME make some edits-"

the artstyle changing based on who was editing what, Joel just trying to support his wife, Scar purposely mishearing "cats" as "cash" absolute hilarity how i heart them all so

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AND THEN WE GET HIT WITH THE DOODY ART OOOOH MY DAYS CUTEGUY AND HOTGUY MEETING FOR THE FIRST TIME AAAAAAH

Grian rocking the cloak, Scar just absolutely confuzzled: THEYRE SOOOO *shakes them*

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and the shenanigans between Ren, Scar, and BDubs oh my god AND THE ON GOING BIT ABOUT HOW "if anyone says hotguy it immediately turns into the logo" it never fails to make me laugh

the early days of the mutation, the proposal of the union, PEARL'S LITTLE >:3c as she pressed publish OUGH

and the trail of petals grian left behind as he considered hotguy's proposal just *splat* i literally ate up all the art and the fics and the silly silly edits in this zine THEY WORLD BUILDING IS AMAZING

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speaking of world building: MUMBLR??? HELLOOOOOOO

THE ANON'S HAVING SILLY MUSTACHES BY DEFAULT

THE RANTING IN THE TAGS

THE MEMES

now i need to know, what does old mumblr *checks notes* teal? green? look like

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(at this point it was around 8 PM but after a long day i was already reaching the point of eepyness and i thought "surely i can finish reading the hOTGuY zine in one sitting!" spoiler alert: i did not)

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immediately when i saw the G Team comic i was reminded of the council of Grians LMAO Grian being the absolute chaotic one man band as he tries to collect all this evidence, the readers seeing Scar's means of transportation for the first time, and then *vine boom* SCULK

also ARIANA GRIANDE THE BELOVED HOW I HEART HER SOOOOOOOO i love all of the grians featured here, and the fact that permit office grian managed to make a silly appearance AND his permit shenanigans working in his favor- hE EVEN HAS THE "please hold." MUSIC- iconic i tell you, iconic

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I absolutely exploded into a million pieces seeing tibby's art then exploded again because "i can't see the end of the horizon...CUBFAN135- IS THAT YOU??!!?"

seeing the sculk snail follow behind scar idly, the fact that grian's only lead is cub ordering pizza like of all leads. but to be fair it does fit both of them LMAO

i am eating the sculk texturing btw it's very very tasty uwu

it's the fact that both of them turned to each other to yell "ARSON" like of course theyre at the ready to light things on fire

BUT THEN THIS PANEL

cub just over scar's shoulder like a sack of potatoes, the match already out of grian's hand, the sculk snail also there to witness the chaos that is about to ensue *chefs kiss* poetic cinema

also i would buy this shirt

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oh my gods the emails, the emails were so fucking funny i- KJSDFHDSJK

BDubs immediately trying to screen Cub out and Cub just continuing his shenanigans unperturbed, grian at his wits end trying to contact scar but of course scar is busy and cub just assumes it's some impersonation account until further notice, TGC trying to contact them but once again Mr. Fan135 Does Not Give A Fuck and he lives to cause mild annoyances and chaos, what a guy LMAO

their littol email icons are so cute, when i saw pearl's i was like "WAH PUPPERRRR"

i havent seen many email-format type beat story telling before so this was an absolute joy to explore the story through pearl's detailed emails, grian's panicked typing (how was mans typing and sending so quickly with 365+ lazer eyed chickens chasing him like a mad man + a green gob- i mean goatman), and both bdubs' and cub's concern and nonchalance. not to mention bdubs just nodding along and going "well cub you have proven yourself...and uh- added a totally not a virus to scar's phone- BUT you have proven yourself...." absolute sillies, absolutely iconic

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THE TWITTER BEEF HAD ME CACKLING OH MY GOD THE QUOTE RETWEETS i would pay good money to see that in real time oh my god

mumblr user hermitopia-explained you will always be famous

okay i'll admit it i was distracted by the scitties- BUT the social media handles and names being remade into hermit puns and the fact he's chilling on mending beach I CAN'T

AND OUR ETERNAL QUEEN JELLIE i literally let out a small squeal looking at her she is sO *gently holds her*

birthday gorl getting absolutely spoiled, as she deserves

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scar finding a cloak just to do the sailor moon meme: iconic, showstopping, one of a kind, amazing, talented- i love these two idiots

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and as a heads up i'm going to try and separate these into about 100 pages each! so expect the next reblog soon

[lxrd-ren]

Tbh I find it quite interesting how Red Lives are both treated and seen as throughout the seasons; particularly how past experiences, or lack of, influence that.

3rd Life:

Now this was the first season, so many were unsure of how to treat red players. And so, they likely looked at how Grian treated Scar, the first red name. And because of how Grian promised Scar his own first life, he stayed loyal to Scar despite his red name. I think this made everyone else go: "Oh alright we can still be allied with our red named allies then". Both that and how many of the teams that season were duos, aka, teams of two. If say Scott tried to banish Jimmy, then Scott would be left on his own on account of his team consisting of literally only him and Jimmy. Not to mention, the duo dynamic made everyone more attached to their other half, especially given how a whole war was going on at the same time; keeping your allyship with a red when being threatened by another red seemed wise. Plus it made for some funny 'My red could beat up your red' moments via basicly all the duos (Scott+Jimmy, Cleo+Bdubs, Grian+Scar, Martyn+Ren)

Last Life:

Now, this season took a bit of a turn with most Reds being instantly banished from their alliances, but to be fair, that's likely Joel's fault lol. With Joel as the first red, he didn't exactly set a good impression of red names with countless murder attempts against everyone. Plus, The Wizards Alliance was just that; an alliance. Sadly with Joel being red most of the time, he and Scar hardly got chance to be proper teammates. And so, this likely paved the way for Reds not being apart of teams. We can also see this with Grian and Cleo. Cleo is a no-brainer; she literally set her past teams base alight. With Grian, since he had the wither skull, Scott and some of the Southerners wanted to confiscate it as soon as he turned red. And so, they didn't want Grian around so they could find said wither skull and take it off him. Also bare in mind this is the only season Mumbo has been in apart from Secret Life, keep this in mind.

Double Life:

There was never really a chance for red names to be turned away from their team as the teams only included the soulbounds; aka, when one turned red, the whole team became red. The only exception to this was Scott and Cleo; and when Scott turned red, Cleo turned red soon after so there was no time to even consider kicking Cleo out. And so, this season, turning reds away from their team never crossed most minds.

Limited Life:

What with the time system, this season reds within teams were treated differently. If you go down to red, all you need is another kill within 30 minutes to get back on yellow. Considering how all they needed to get back up a colour was a kill, people were a lot more lenient to their red teammates since yes they were a danger, but it was a danger they could prevent. An example of this is how I've heard the phrase 'We need to get you a kill' throughout multiple povs. And so, reds were never kicked out of teams because being red meant that you were yes a danger, but a danger that could be stopped. This likely set up the viewpoint in the next season.

Secret Life:

This season you never can go up a colour again, but people kept the viewpoint from Limited Life. A main example of this, and actually why I started thinking about this whole thing in the first place, is Mumbo and how his teammates were when he turned red. Now, Mumbo, like Lizzie, only has prior knowledge of Last Life; not the whole red teams of Double Life or the preventable reds in Limited Life, but the mindset of if you turn red, your kicked out of the alliance. This alongside the others mindset was really brought to light when Mumbo began trying to get his former teammates with anvils from Pearl's base. During this, his teammates were saying 'We know your red, we can still be teammates' but Mumbo kept trying regardless.

[riacte]

Idly daydreaming about "choose which Rendog duo you like more" poll but it is appropriately and respectfully seeded, scheduled, managed, spreadsheet'd with the intention of trying to be as well run as the mcytblrsexyman poll which imo is still THE best run poll on the hellsite.

So it's gonna be like 16 duos, not defined as romantic/platonic, just see it as whatever/who they are. Then final 8, final 4, final 2, yay! And I need this to be seeded for my own sanity otherwise we'll get finale-level matchups in the first rounds and that will make everyone explode.

Seeding is beautiful (even if it's sort of unfair to lower quarter of entries). If a poll doesn't use seeding, then I don't trust it sorry.

Anyways I think this could actually work because Ren has so many duos and he does a lot of story, I think most duos have a lot of thoughtful moments that make for excellent propaganda. These aren't random fuckass Twitter duos firehusbands whatever who have interacted for one funny collab. There is history across the seasons and the years. There's storylines. There's babies involved. Multiple babies even. Whatever Ren and Cleo have going on. The king and his loyal knight. The queen and her guard. "But these can apply to different—" yes this is exactly why.

And I would say it's pretty obvious who the favourite is except they have been on a downright hilarious losing streak recently. And losing is their thing tbh. I'm so sorry.

Reasons I would not run this poll (other than lack of time and despite me liking spreadsheets):

Renskall would absolutely get steamrolled in Round 1 against a duo that almost certainly by definition came into existence later than Renskall. And I know it would be an embarrassing loss, think 30/70. This would dishearten me and I would scuttle into my cave and pull out videos from 2018.

False and Ren would most likely inevitably lose to yaoi and. And. Actually I'll keep my mouth shut for the sake of preserving peace.

Ren is so good at teaming up with people that I can probably imagine what the polls will look like anyway:

Final 2: Doc, Martyn

Final 4: False, Iskall (let me clown, he's here and he STAYS here)

And the 16 probably includes: Bdubs, Scar, Grian, Cleo, BigB, Etho, Lizzie, Cub, Xisuma...

Anyways. HomiesBeforeHoes 👍 (my hypothetical motto for the hypothetical campaigning)

[novastardoughnut]

okay but we need to talk about this most recent Secret Life

SO... A lot just happened and I think we need to talk about it so SPOILERS:

SO... Lets talk about that Episode huh?

Jimmy didn't die first (we all knew this day would come, we all knew one day that Jimmy wouldn't be the first out because what is the statistical probability of being out first 5 times over). so what do we make of this event... well I think Lizzie dying first is another way for the watchers to get emotional reactions from the players. Now the canary still died lets not forget this, and he was the next one out, indeed the curse was broken BUUUT another part of the canary curse that is often forgotten in the rubble is that his death marks the start for the rest of the series going into that red violence/red madness era. it marks the start of the endgame. (and with Mumbo's right after we may even see a new curse arise). its a very funny thematic event to occur being that everyone throughout the whole episode was joking about Jimmy going out first again, they even held a pre-emptive funeral for him.

now already with this seasons a lot of parallels are being drawn to Last Life (we got Lizzie and Mumbo back, Mumbo made puns on his first episode back, a lot of AHA references this season etc) and now we have yet another one... THE WITHER!

now lets look at the big dogs for a moment, because indeed Mumbo did kind of join them this session, got a box of bones and everything for it. this is now a team consisting of Martyn, Jimmy and Mumbo. this team is very close to the Southlanders (it may be missing impulse and Grian but its close enough). now what happened. They spawned a WITHER (that had only ever been spawned before in Last Life) and both DIED to it one after another. (just like how they both died back to back in LL) leaving Martyn AGAIN the sole Member of his group.

in addition this time with the Wither it very much lived up to the nigh apocalyptic scenario that this situation should have been in that previous season. however with Bdubs (with his bravery) and Etho were more than capable of taking on the wither. The wither died in LL with relitively little pomp and circumstance, however in Secret Life where every heart counts, its effect becomes way more devistating on the server. last time there were a few explosions but nothing too bad, this time returning to the surface the floor devastated with explosion holes, craters and destruction. the nice walkable paths are rubble underfoot.

and yeah Martyn is yet again alone, his curse stands strong. he consistently died before Jimmy but in that moment he survived yet again to see his friends killed.

[memryse]

3L season 4 team up predictions

we will finally see grian and bigb team up [copium]. they r either the healthiest dynamic on the server or they kill each other session 5. actually Who am I kidding. Grian doesn’t have a healthy relationship bone in his whole body. Betrayal for everyone, he dies alone.

martyn pearl scar violense trio, kill at least grian and bdubs. desert duo is dead as fuck. martyn-grian parallels going strong as violense trio splits the same way grianb does; betrayal. Martyn also dies alone!!! killed by pearl as revenge for scar.

cletho again [COPE] they die together <3

bdubs with ren. wholesome peaceful domestic vibes until they turn green -> red in one episode and kill three people. BONUS POINTS if it’s revenge killing for each other

mumbo comes back [COPIUM] and gets married to scott [COPIUM]

tango and jimmy team again [COPE]. tango kills mumbo/scott. jimmy does not care [FLOWER HUSBANDS IS FUCKING DEAD./hj]

if even one of these is right all of trafficblr owes me €1,000,000,000 cash.

oh these are based im pretty sure the previous three series have all just been the greatest grian and bigb slowburn ever. But it will still end in tragedy for them yes nods grian dies alone and bigb is perhaps equally as cringefail as jimmy is. theyre doomed

martyn pearl scar i think would end in scar betraying them because he just has the betrayal instinct.it came free with the capitalism. pearl would stay loyal bc betrayal is really not her style, i think if they were to be driven apart it’d be because of some kind of misunderstanding or someone driving them apart on purpose rather than pearl actually deliberately betraying martyn

YES FOR CLETHO <3 i love it when men are terrified of women. Keep it up. Thats all i have to say on this one

i am however going to hit team rancher with my dead duos beam also sorry </3 but only because i like my jimmys sopping wet and miserable and also i think bdubs and ren would be an even funnier combination if you add tango into the mix. Theyre domestic but also they are biting you biting you biting you biti

and yes strongly agree we need scott and mumbo to get married. Mumbo gets the worst of the “hardcore turns my mcyts gay for survival” effect and he deserves someone who’ll queerbait with him properly. Joel is also in here somewhere

Jimmy i think it would be really funny if he had his own little loser shack again like when he got exiled in LL but also lizzie and skizz will be coming back. Right. Right. i want imp and skizz duo at long last and i want to see how quickly a seablings alliance would fail theyre both so. They want to be violent so badly but theyre just so not good at it But imagine if they were <333

[memryse]

for the hc game: grian? :0

i'm choosing ll!grian specifically for obvious reasons ^-^

realistic headcanon: well i refuse to part with grian having wings but i also refuse to consider him actually having the capability to fly because it just does not make sense for 3L/LL. so i think the game simply... neutralises him. his wings just don't work. i mean, they're still there, so he can glide and such, but he can't fly. and it just doesn't make sense, because they seem to be in perfect condition? no visible injuries and there's no indication of any internal damage either. he spent a lot of time in the early sessions jumping off the southlands towers (he put water below, dw) because he's sure he should be able to fly.

unrealistic, but funny headcanon: i just finished tango's session 7 and i was thinking a lot about the new group of reds and how authoritative grian sounds when he goes "pay attention, boys. this is what happens when you betray team red" and i'm just. thinking about grian and joel holding an impromptu red life boot camp for these new reds while they hide out in the roctopus. classes include "how to not cry yourself to sleep at night out of loneliness", "how to look your former best friend in the eye as you threaten their life" and "gorgeous interior design that gives off appropriately murderous vibes". no i'm not letting that evil home economics post go

angsty headcanon: mm i think grian and joel's relationship has soooo much potential for Pain and i want people to talk about it more. the fact that both times grian has turned red, it's involved a freak shot from joel that grian didn't know about until it was too late. and grian respawns with joel's arrow in his back. but he gravitates towards working with joel anyway because joel is something familiar. joel doesn't need to go in the book. red lives definitely can and do hold grudges against the people who turned them red - look at lizzie, for example. and yet grian is running around blowing things up with his murderer like they're lifelong friends - and taking charge, the second time around. i think the first time grian was red that must have been horrifying for the southerners to witness, especially that final goodbye on the hill. grian leaving them for the man who'd put an arrow through his neck only minutes before. seemingly not holding a grudge despite still being mad at bdubs after like three sessions. ouch.

also i want to throw in a bonus one. less about grian specifically i'm just... thinking about grian and mumbo and impulse and groups of five. do you think they ever look at scar and pearl in boatem and something just feels... wrong? even if they don't all remember last life fully, sometimes when it's all five of them, it doesn't feel right. grian gets the feeling he should be keeping scar out, sometimes - it's supposed to be the five of us against scar, he thinks, but he doesn't really know who "us" is.

i reject canon and substitute it with my own: desert duo actually won last life together and didn't kill each other this time and everything ended happily. not for the fifteen other people that were brutally murdered, mostly by them, but that's fine they are allowed to kill people and they should do it more. desert duo won last life and the world is at peace.