#I STAY DISRESPECTING KENNETH | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

minkdelovely · 8 months ago

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I AM A WRECK! A JUMBLED PILE OF BONES THAT CAN ONLY DREAM OF BEING PUT BACK IN ORDER AGAIN.

HAZEL, MY GOD 😩♥️

There’s so much yearning and wholesome desire that I honestly don’t know what to do with other than greedily devour it to the best of my ability. But I fear I have become an overflowing cup, each new sentiment pushing me past the brink to join the puddle of my feelings on the table.

How you manage to make us care for with this man in new ways every chapter is something that should be studied, if I’m being honest. So know that at the very least that’s what I’m doing, even though my notes below don’t always convey how seriously I’m taking this 🥲♥️

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

His fingers would make little circles and pattern eights along your shoulder blade. Your gaze out and forward, his intently focused on the ceiling fan; then and there.

Occasionally he’d spell a word across your skin to see if you were paying attention. Today: B R E A K F A S T ?

He didn’t want to interrupt the sounds of the radio on the dresser with the half hearted question.

GRIPPING MY CHEST ALREADY AND WE’VE BARELY GOTTEN STARTED

You both tended to enjoy the back porch, but he felt an urge for novelty.

HOW MANY TIMES MUST I BEG YOU TO STOP 🥲

“Can I take you to the water? We could fish. I’m in no rush today.” You were unsure, tilting your head a little. He had offered before but you admitted you didn’t know how. “You’ll have time to shower before work.” His index finger came over and waited for yours to hook into his.

THE FINGER HOOK WILL GET ME EVERY. FUCKING. TIME.

As a child he often ran through the woods of his home and played pretend, and as he got older and his imagination shifted he would fish for his mother. When his friends began to date and pair off, he’d hunt animals in a parallel kind of chase.

They took home gals, he dragged in rabbits.

I SAID… stop 🥲

But then her silhouette was gone. And the cricket’s song became one of loneliness. The walk to the house now a chore, a thing he had to do to get from Point A to Point B.

I have a lot of feelings about this and refuse to spoil anyone else’s experience with my crazy sad brain so sorry if any of these start to feel vague 🙈

Alastor wasn’t loquacious as it were, but when he did feel like talking he talked.

the whole paragraph is a joy, but THIS. As someone who would consider themselves to be long-winded and chatty, this just made my heart SWELL. I’d listen and talk to him for DAYS 🥺

“The fucker has spikes!” He said it like he was introducing a villain, “I grabbed one once and it flexed these spines and I dropped it. I broke a pole trying to beat one to death once because I was too scared to pick it up again.”

I’M CRYING. THIS IS JUST SO ADORABLE AND HUMAN OF HIM.

Easily they were worth more than three dollars a piece. He bought two of them… when? The thought brought a silly, crooked smile you couldn’t contain.

S 👏🏻 T 👏🏻 O 👏🏻 P 👏🏻

Oh, right… Alastor had friends in a sense, but never had he really had someone he introduced you to that was remotely important. No one he lit up for, no one he invited over, no one he completely relaxed his put-on smile for. You had to wonder where they'd all gone.

GODDDDD

He shook his head, “He has a life now.”

I CAN HEAR HIS SOFT LONELY VOICE OH MY GOD 😩

He didn't look at you, which was the loudest indicator he wasn’t fond of the question. He cast out his own line, waiting to reply until he could settle, “Sweetheart, do you really think I’ve been living a life compatible with his? Or any of them?” He pulled back on the line a little to feel the tension, “Wives get uncomfortable inviting over single 40 somethings like myself. And I can only stomach so many surprise female dinner guests at such things.”

OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH I WANT TO HOLD HIM SO BADLY 🥺

Being a single man at his age, with a good job, a car, and land, made people uncomfortable. A lifelong chosen bachelor is fine, a rake is expected, but someone who seemed to be disinterested in dating and in fooling around? You could imagine the looks on their wive’s faces, asking questions that were thinly veiled insults.

GOD IT’S TOO REAL — IT HURTS HERE AND MY NEED TO CONSOLE IS THROUGH THE ROOF

Alastor cackled, doubling over at the memory. “I threw out my line and as it flew through the air, a gull passing by grabbed the worm. It fought me for a minute before managing to get loose.” He ended up squating, blue jeans rolled up at the ankles and covered in spurs you just now noticed. “It looked as confused as I was.”

how do I become more and more charmed by him?? It’s honestly ASTOUNDING. Also him in blue jeans?? Stabbing me would be kinder at this point 😩♥️

The morning was spent reveling in new and useless information about each other. Your fear of dogs, his fear of armadillos (someone told them they had the plague).

I FUCKING SAID STOP PLEASE 😭🥲🫠

“I’m fine”, just embarrassed, you assured him before picking up your shoe and throwing it, “I have to go home and change out these shoes.” Leftie smacked against the tree with a soft pop.

I ALSO would have thrown the shoe in this instance, my temper/shame would demand it

“Bring over a few pairs, if you have them. I’m sure a pair of mom’s could fit you, you can wear them home. We could toss these into the river. Shoot ‘em. Run em over.” He retrieved the thrown shoe before kneeling to remove the other one. He touched your ankle, eyes shooting up to monitor your face for any pained expressions. “Burn ‘em.”

he’s so silly and adorable and also he still has his mom’s shoes and I’ll never be normal again (if I ever was)

You warned he didn’t have to do that and he flashed you a look, his smirk alone called you a hypocrite and made you go silent. “You can’t perform with tattered feet or a rolled ankle.” He laced them tightly, “I know where the stickers and ant hills are, I’ll be fine.”

I’M WRITHINGGG I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS AAHHHHH

“Ah, apparently not. He left before I was born,” Alaster fidgeted with the straps of your shoes. “He hadn’t considered,” every word was measured, “the realities of,” you could see him searching for the words in real time; this was a conversation he had never had before, “of being with my mother before knocking her up.”

The ‘family planning’ conversation on the kitchen table fluttered back to you.

OHHHH MANNN I AM UNWELL. I NEED TO HOLD HIM FOR A YEAR AT LEAST AND NEVER LET GO 🥲

“He left her the house and the land before going. Kept his promise to help take care of me, in that sense. So, no. I think indifference is fair enough.” He grabbed your fish by the tail and placed it into the bucket. “Kinda funny though, had he stuck around he’d have seen how the only thing I got from him was his biggest worry: my complexion!” A joyless laugh, “But I’m just like her in all the ways that matter.”

OUR BABYYY. This is such a refreshing take on his feelings towards the father we all don’t know.

You wondered about ‘family planning’. In their age it was nothing short of guessing and lamb innards. It was impossible to pretend you knew what his father would have lived through had he stayed. But you knew very well what Alastor lived through because he left. New Orleans was different than many other parts of the country when it came to mixed children, but the attitude was less acceptance and more a baseline tolerance for their existence.

HAZEL YOU JUST NEVER FAIL TO REALLY HIT THESE POINTS HOME 😭✨

He led you until the clearing, he knew the land was flat there, and slowed down to let you walk a little bit ahead. The view of the house was much more inviting with you in it.

WEEPING AGAIN

As promised, a shower. Originally alone, Alastor sitting on the toilet seat talking to you about dinner. Then he got quiet. He startled you a little when he peeked behind the curtain but everything settled when he got inside and his hands wrapped around your waist. Kisses for kiss’s sake. Skin on skin just to feel closer than you were before. A hum buzzing his chest as you hugged him tightly and wasted some water. Well, ‘wasted’ is subjective. The warmth radiating off his stomach rivaled the shower’s spray. You knew there wasn’t time for a nap, but the comfort was so deeply rooted you worried you’d fall asleep in his arms then and there.

THIS WHOLE THING IS A PROVERBIAL BASEBALL BAT TO MY HEART

“Throwing them away seemed a waste. Glad they could be of use.” He said it so casually but it was more than that. When she died he packed away her items and forgot about them. He couldn’t throw them away. It still felt like her house, after all. Who was he to change anything?

OH ALASTOR 🥺 HE’S DOING HIS BEST TO BE SO STRONG HERE

You quickly buried the sincere sweetness of the moment with a joke, “Finally this long con is paying off!” What else could you do, threading the strap of your beau’s dead, dearly loved mother’s heels? It was like being on cloud nine with lead shoes. Confusingly wonderful and supremely daunting. You were literally walking in her shoes. The irony made you squeeze your arms to your sides to make sure your sweat pads were in their place.

EXQUISITE AND SO IMPACTFUL JESUS CHRIST HAZEL 😩

He knew it was a joke, but had it been true he’d build a home on his land and fill it with shoes and dresses and whatever else you asked for. A stage all your own if you wanted. He’d clap and throw flowers at your feet nightly. If you’d let him.

Maybe he could do that anyway. Every night, praise you with his mouth in all the ways he could imagine you’d enjoy.

AND WE’RE RIGHT BACK TO WRITHING — OH MY LORD

He knew exactly what he wanted it to be and knew very well what you didn’t want. So, letting sleeping dogs lie, he instead considered what you were actually getting out of the arrangement as it stood now.

MY HEART IS ACTUALLY IN MY THROAT AND IT ACHES

You’d made it clear your thoughts on marriage (“I won’t be bought by jewelry and promises of a pretty cage.”) though he did consider what could ever make you want that legal lock.

I literally put my hand over my eyes and put my phone down for a second (not hyperbole, this really happened) — I can’t fucking handle this oh my god…

And if he was aware of their preferences, they could still enjoy their love lives as they always had tried to before marriage. Alastor had considered such an offer before. Seriously considered it. It seemed to solve all of the problems he and his lady friend had.

UGHHH THE HEARTACHE JUST CONTINUES TO GROW

His hands twisted around the steering wheel. He knew, deep in the marrow of his bones, he was always going to be alone. But the tiniest speck of desire to have someone love him and share his life remained buried in the viscera of his reality. So he turned down the sham marriage. What if he met someone inconceivable? Suddenly he would be an adulterer. Which was just hilarious to him. Such a thing could lead to a loss of employment and social shunning.

Plus, his mother would shake her head if he opened her very deserved home to someone purely existing to make a pleasant lie for the world. Disappointment could leak straight from her grave and into the floorboards.

YOU’VE OFFICIALLY RE-DECLARED WAR ON ME. I THOUGHT WITH THE MARRIAGE WE HAD MOVED PAST IT, BUT THIS IS WAR???

His mind conjured images of you sitting pretty in your trousers in Beth’s. Moments like those, before he knew you, you had all of the things you wanted and seemingly needed. It made you upsettingly attractive to him.

FUUUUCKKK I’M SO CLOSE TO TAPPING OUT BUT I REFUSE

As the car rolled over the bridge and you both made your way into the city proper, his thoughts wandered back to the notion of rings. His mother never had one, so he had nothing to hand down. Would you wear gold, like the necklace you hung on the mirror in the guest room? Or silver?

MY SOUL IS DESPERATE TO LEAVE MY BODYYY

“Excuse you, you’re not welcome here.”

oh fuck, the jaws theme is playing again… and I think I know who for

Brady’s hand gripped your shoulder and pulled you around, something slipping around your wrists as a uniformed cop came around the corner of the atrium. You struggled to get away from him, shouting general protests to being suddenly manhandled. Your voice erupted, the first cannon shot of the war as women and men began to swarm and berate the detective.

KENNETH!! WE MEET AGAIN

“Prostitution.”

WILLIAM!! I FUCKING KNEW IT!! I KNEW HE HAD BAD VIBES

A beat of silence as the room collectively gasped. Ruth was the first one to truly lay her hands on him, snatching his hat off and smacking him across the head.

🗣️ RUTH: DISRESPECT THIS MAN!

“Hush. You confessed to it already, no point crying now.” The cop’s voice was harsh, his disgust barely hidden. His palms were calloused and scratched at the exposed skin of your arms.

HIS MASK IS SLIPPING BIG TIME

You didn’t feel yourself begin to cry, it was a reaction to the fact you hadn’t blinked since you became aware Brady didn’t seem too interested in your reaction to this.

This wasn’t an arrest. It was a trap.

MOTHER. FUCKING. KENNETH. AND THAT LITTLE BITCH BILLY. I SWEAR TO GODDD 😩

A Doe in Fall (part 11)

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

A burlesquer with a penchant for conning men, you find your latest game interrupted when your next mark saves you from an aggressive fan— by killing him. The chance encounter left you curious, still half convinced you could complete your normal chase. Unbeknownst to you, you were the one being tracked.

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 Part 9 - Shiny Things Part 10 - Good Deeds Part 11 - Caught 📍 (this bitch is getting long)

Horny? Not this story yet but….Don’t worry, just wait a couple days… 👀 💦

Part 11 Caught

Taking time to cast out the line and wait for the big one to take the bait.

「Warnings/Promises: Human Alastor x Fem!Reader, jaws theme plays, fishing, sweet as fuck, and then not sweet, prostitution yelled into a crowd, rough hands, I won’t say the word ‘paddy wagon’ because the history seems to be targeted at the Irish in America so it’s called a wagon here」

Minors if you violate the MDNI I will toss you back into the river lie the pinfish you are 💥 🎣

Peaceful. Your head on his chest. Even breathes, strong heart. Corporeal. Real. There with you. A ritual to whoever brought you into his embrace, every morning you lied against him and you stared out the window. Past the greenhouse, where the woods were allowed to run wild and you knew the animals therein were safe to exist as they were meant to. Everything and everyone in their element.

His fingers would make little circles and pattern eights along your shoulder blade. Your gaze out and forward, his intently focused on the ceiling fan; then and there.

Occasionally he’d spell a word across your skin to see if you were paying attention. Today: B R E A K F A S T ?

He didn’t want to interrupt the sounds of the radio on the dresser with the half hearted question.

He carried your plate out onto the front porch, the swinging bench as much a perfectly suitable place to eat as anywhere else. You both tended to enjoy the back porch, but he felt an urge for novelty.

As you nibbled, he stared at the car. He didn’t really want to leave, but he wanted to go somewhere with you.

“Can I take you to the water? We could fish. I’m in no rush today.” You were unsure, tilting your head a little when he asked. He had offered before but you admitted you didn’t know how. “You’ll have time to shower before work.” His index finger came over and waited for yours to hook into his.

Alastor was beyond smitten watching you and your trousers bound down his steps. Hand in hand, in the early morning breeze of the impending fall, he led you through his property to the water’s edge.

A small cup of earthworms he scrounged up while you changed, two poles from the shed, and a bucket he hoped would have fish soon enough.

They took home gals, he dragged in rabbits.

And when his mother died, and the food he brought home was more than he needed, he stopped venturing past the clearing. That trek home to a bright house, his mother waiting on the back porch surrounded by the chirps of crickets was something he cherished.

But then her silhouette was gone. And the cricket’s song became one of loneliness. The walk to the house now a chore, a thing he had to do to get from Point A to Point B.

Pulling you by the hand past the field and its tall grass, into the shade of the trees where the air was so cool it bordered on wet, he wasn’t so worried about the return trip. No tedium in the navigation now.

Alastor wasn’t loquacious as it were, but when he did feel like talking he talked. He could, and did, name every species of fish that lived in the river. The ones he liked to eat, the ones he liked to look at, and the fish he didn’t care for much at all. His mother’s favorite was bluegill, and he said it was the scariest fish when he was young.

You’d never fished. Not because you didn’t care for it, it just wasn’t what you did. Your mother didn’t take you to rivers or the sea. You stayed in buildings and parks near people. You could see the water, just never really interacted with it. Luckily, Alastor was ecstatic to teach you.

He saddled up behind you and explained how to cast out. It took a few tries to get it right, the release of the line a little tricky to get down at first. You could see the shine of the reels and could tell they were expensive and unused. Easily they were worth more than three dollars a piece. He bought two of them… when? The thought brought a silly, crooked smile you couldn’t contain.

“A friend accidentally hooked his own back once.” You watched the way his gaze seemed to soften as he was looking into the distant past.

“I hope he’s gotten better at it.”

Alastor shrugged.

Oh, right… Alastor had friends in a sense, but never had he really introduced you to someone that was remotely important. No one he lit up for, no one he invited over, no one he completely relaxed his put-on smile for. You had to wonder where they'd all gone.

“Do you ever see him?”

He shook his head, “He has a life now.”

Your chuckle wasn’t meant to be cruel, but it came off a little too incredulous, “Do you not have a life?”

You felt like an ass.

What do you do for fun?

Is it difficult to find respectable dates when you work in jazz?

So, you’ve never been married, is that right? Not even close?

A mood change. You waited a moment to let silence kill the topic and asked, “What is the catch you’re most proud of?”

He thought for a second before a lopsided grin spread and you felt your heartbeat relax. “A gull.”

“A gull?!”

The morning was spent reveling in new and useless information about each other. Your fear of dogs, his fear of armadillos (someone told them they had the plague). The time you accidentally walked into a stranger’s home, the time he startled an old woman because he was standing too still in a store and she thought he was a mannequin.

Moments of intimacy intermittently interrupted by a tugging of the fishing line and excited easing in of the prize.

The fuckers did have spikes. You reached out for your first successful catch and the barbs pricked you. With a hurried step back, your short heel sank into the dirt and you lost your balance. Your ass hit the ground hard, and you needed a breath before you could reply to Alastor’s worried questions.

“I’m fine”, just embarrassed, you assured him before picking up your shoe and throwing it, “I have to go home and change out these shoes.” Leftie smacked against the tree with a soft pop.

“First my stockings last week and now my shoes? You’ve gone fire-happy.” You wiggled your toes for his peace of mind, “It’s okay, I don’t have many shoes. We’ll reconcile someday.”

Alastor sat down properly on the grass and dirt of the river’s edge and took off his shoes and socks. You thought maybe he was trying to commiserate somehow, until he shoved the socks into the toe box and slipped one onto your foot.

Your eyes wandered over the bucket of water and fish, the worms in their cup, and his bare feet on the grass.

“Who taught you to be such a well rounded gentleman?” A rhetorical question, mostly.

“My mother, of course.”

“Your father didn’t worry you’d be too soft?”

The ‘family planning’ conversation on the kitchen table fluttered back to you.

“Oh, can I have permission to hate him?” Always the easiest emotion.

He clicked his tongue, hands busy looping your shoes together by their straps and then attaching them to his belt loop.

It came out before you could think it through, “He didn’t love your mother?”

He winced. “Cowards can love just fine, I think. Maybe they love the hardest actually.” You nodded, knowing this wasn’t a philosophical debate where your opinion was needed. “I mean, what kind of man just gives away his only assets?” Alastor leaned over to fix the collar of your blouse, “A scared idiot in love, of course.”

The conversation, and shoe change, brought a natural end to the morning. Alastor helped you up, taking the opportunity to brush off your backside.

He led you until the clearing, he knew the land was flat there, and slowed down to let you walk a little bit ahead. The view of the house was much more inviting with you in it.

His mothers shoes did fit, a pair of her black double straps with a nice wide heel replaced your T-straps and their damned thin one. The offer and action of presenting them to you was bigger than could be acknowledged. It was clear in how he wiped them clean with drilled in focus and set them in front of the bed for you like the main course of a fancy meal. The way they’d been kept packaged and neat in the guest closet.

It was a little surprise to himself when he offered them to you. It seemed natural at the moment but as he said it his calm heart backtracked. Was that okay to do? Was it disrespectful to his mother? Was it rude to offer you a dead woman’s things? Would you be uncomfortable?

The little strings of worry all cut loose though when you did the straps and said, “I’ll return them in perfect condition.”

He had thought you’d take them forever. But no, that was better. “I’ll buy you your own just like them.”

Alastor thought if all you were getting out of this was a pair of shoes, you were definitely coming up in the red.

Negative.

Losing out.

Maybe he could do that anyway. Every night, praise you with his mouth in all the ways he could imagine you’d enjoy.

The analogy carried through as he drove you to work. What was the price of admission and had he managed to afford it yet? Again, he fretted over what he was giving you in all of… whatever exactly this was.

He’d met women who just wanted a home to pretty up. You had your own space you seemed keen on so he doubted that was it. Sometimes women pursued him for his obvious disposable income. Images of you swiping the hundred off the hotel bar played across his thoughts. No, you seemed capable enough to earn more than your job paid. If anything you seemed to enjoy chasing down marks.

You’d made it clear your thoughts on marriage (“I won’t be bought by jewelry and promises of a pretty cage.”) though he did consider what could ever make you want that legal lock. He’d had friends who would have liked the safety a husband lended their image. Women who didn’t have any need or want for men in general. But things like banking and ownership were easier with a husband. And if he was aware of their preferences, they could still enjoy their love lives as they always had tried to before marriage. Alastor had considered such an offer before. Seriously considered it. It seemed to solve all of the problems he and his lady friend had.

Everyone wants something, though. He wanted to be seen in his entirety and accepted as he was.

You?

Well. All the things you seemed to want you had. Autonomy. Adoration. Attention.

Alastor didn’t want to be needed by someone, he wanted to be wanted by someone who already had everything.

He suppressed an embarrassed chuckle, he was getting ahead of himself again. Daydreaming while he drove like he always did. But this time you were in the car with him.

You caught him blushing, asking if he got too much sun by the water earlier. Alastor’s eyes went wide and he laughed a forced ‘ha ha ha!’, punctuated by a flat and low “No!”

All you could do was laugh in return when he didn’t elaborate. The way he was gripping the steering wheel made his knuckles go pale through the thin skin of his hands. But the wonky smile he had told you he wasn’t angry.

He gave you a peck outside the theater’s side door, promised to swing by yours after work so you could grab some shoes, and drove off.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“Excuse you, you’re not welcome here.”

You heard it but didn’t really register what that implied. Sometimes people tried to sneak in who’d been banned, but it was…not common. The list of people was quite short. You didn’t stop to think of them all, regardless.

You made a habit of calling Ruth by her stage name as early in the work day as you could remember, to avoid any slip ups. So when you called out to her as you worked the room after your performance, she knew to answer.

“Skye, could you bring me some water?” Leaning on the bar you watched her make her own drink, flashing you a wink. She always got tipsy and ended up behind the bar when she was in a good mood. Which was most nights. The staff didn’t mind, the real money to be made was in liquor and whatever could be passed off as beer. So the extra pair of hands was appreciated.

“You’ve been especially happy lately. Good sex?” The glass was slid to you. All you could do was nod. You’d hadn’t actually had sex in awhile, but that wasn’t anyone’s business.

Your smile barely had a chance to slip off your face, your senses too quick for your body to keep up. The awareness that something was wrong hit you fast and hard, but only milliseconds before you felt someone grab you.

Brady’s hand gripped your shoulder and pulled you backwards, something slipping around your wrists as a uniformed cop came around the corner of the atrium. You struggled to get away from him, shouting general protests to being suddenly manhandled. Your voice erupted, the first cannon shot of the war as women and men began to swarm and berate the detective.

Barely a shocked laugh could be choked out from your tightening throat.

“You’re under arrest!” He yelled it, looking at you for just a moment before announcing it to the audience. An actor to his crowd.

“For what?!” Johnny pushed Brady with two fingers to the chest.

“Prostitution.”

A beat of silence as the room collectively gasped. Ruth was the first one to truly lay her hands on him, snatching his hat off and smacking him across the head. The other dancers moved like a school of fish, tucking Ruth into the safety of their numbers with a simultaneous jostling of the detective.

The cop leading you away stopped, “Just her? I thought-,”

Detective Brady dusted his hat off with the back of his hand and shooed the man away. “Just her.”

Before you had reached the glass doors of the theater, you tensed and pulled back. “What the fuck are you doing, Mr. Brady?”

But Brady wasn’t looking at you. He was scanning the room. Staring into the small but fierce roiling mass of regulars, dancers, and staff filling up the doorway in front him and flooding the atrium.

Johnny sized up Brady, getting nose to nose with him, “Show your face here again and we’ll need an ambulance, not a wagon!”

Brady leaned into the confrontation, “Now sir I’d be careful. That almost sounds like a threat.”

“Sure as shit is!” Someone hissed.

“Hey! Brady!” You tried again in vain to get his attention.

“Hush. You confessed to it already, no point crying now.” The cop’s voice was harsh, his disgust barely hidden. His palms were calloused and scratched at the exposed skin of your arms.

“Someone! Someone call-,” Ruth snapped her fingers as the syllables teetered on the tip of her tongue.

Goosebumps rose across your shoulders like little tombstones. Your autonomic nervous system came to a crawl. The grip on your arm tightened as you had to be wretched forward and out of the front doors.

Her eyes lit up, “Alastor! Does anyone have Alastor’s work number?!” Ruth was met with confused faces and shrugs from the others.

You didn’t feel yourself begin to cry, it was a reaction to the fact you hadn’t blinked since you became aware Brady didn’t seem too interested in your reaction to this.

This wasn’t an arrest. It was a trap.

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆Masterlist.ೃ࿔*:･

˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖

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#I STAY DISRESPECTING KENNETH #<- but it’s all in jest… i know he’s just trying to do his job but…#THESE PEOPLE ARE IN LOVE!! LEAVE THEM ALONE 🥲#alastor x reader #human alastor x reader #x reader #hazbin hotel fan fiction

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blasphemousclaw · 10 months ago

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i think rykard had a tendency to disregard formality except as Ritual or as Political Ambition, like as just a headcanon. the way he marries tanith and deeply adores and confides in her, when a lot of her descriptions emphasize the potential gulf in social power between them (drawing on a lot of tropes heavily associated with the character of Lowborn Sex Worker Consort) and how he held a disregard for the way the Golden Order handles itself (creating a strict orderly hierarchy of power between its peoples and appropriate mannerisms between one class and another (see the pages and how kenneth haight talks)) and how he has a studious scholalry streak from his archeology at mt gelmir and his sorceries, i can see him as being this larger than life figure who takes the formality inherent to ritual worship and power and really pushes that to its limit to get the kost bang for his buck, just going all in, which builds up this idea of a figure out of legend, and then its immediately contrasted by a frank, casual manner of speaking outside of those circumstances, a way where he holds himself as a singularly powerful lord but despite that hes easy to talk to, and he values the opinions and ideas of those who would normally be his "lessers" or "beneath him" and takes them seriously and treats them with respect

a lord who takes counsel from prince and pauper alike, who married a dancer, who speaks bluntly and without shame but encourages others to do so as well, who embraces the blasphemous and heretical such that you never feel you have to hide anything from him, but when he conducts a ceremony for the great serpent its like the whole world stops to bend its ear for the way he channels such power and authority that you cant help but believe that hes truly something different from all of you, and yet despite this you speak freely to him anyways. such a man could inspire ruthless loyalty to the bitter end with ease, throughout the most horrible of wars, all until it hits that critical breaking point of the serpent, and even then some still cant bring themselves to break away from him

ok theres ABSOLUTELY a theme of repudiating the conventions of nobility and class with Rykard… I think his belief system is based on the idea that the gods are no better than mortals, and they have no inherent divine right to rule: “When Rykard turned to heresy, taking by force became the rule. The gods were no different, after all.” The gods “take by force” just like any common mortal tyrant, so why should we accept that they have an inherent authority over us? There’s this theme of seizing one’s own fate and taking power for oneself — like Bernahl calling out to the Greater Will directly that “we refuse to become your pawns” — which I think would be really inspiring to like, a common soldier who’s felt disrespected and taken for granted all their life. Though Rykard is as noble as they come, he too is fighting against a suffocating Order. Tanith explicitly likens the plight of ordinary Tarnished to the Shardbearers… they’re all made to “scurry about, fighting over what miserly scraps they allow us.”

Speaking of Tanith, Rykard making her his consort is such a deliberate political statement? Lords like Kenneth Haight would no doubt look down on her because of her commoner foreigner background, like he even calls Godrick, a demigod, a “country bumpkin!” Marrying Tanith instead of someone from Erdtree nobility shows that Rykard doesn’t care at all about established class structure… why is Tanith any less worthy than an Erdtree noble? I think Tanith is speaking from experience when she says this about Rya: “Besides, no-one should be blamed for their heritage. Think about it. We are resisting the ways of the Erdtree itself. What matters one's lineage in such a crisis.”

basically one of Rykard’s blasphemous beliefs is that the gods are only gods because they are strong enough to stay in power and keep people under their control. he would have a society where every person is the master of their own fate. at least I think that’s what his followers thought before he fed himself to a serpent god and started eating people

#asks #rykard #elden ring #at the same time i feel like at heart rykard doesnt actually care about meaningfully changing society #he just feels massively insulted by the gods in power and wants to become more powerful than them. hence the serpent god #tyrannical gods who use people as pawns are BAD. unless theyre meeeee :3

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gumbaigumbai · 3 years ago

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Cirice

Some headcanons for my tarnished oc !! (Name stolen from a Ghost song it just means church)

> Basic description

tarnished of no renown amen

skin kinda sickly yellowish (jaundice?)

hair is swamp green, eyes are red (usually shiny (read: star-excited-happy-delighted-sailor-moon-gif-16337424.gif))

big eye bags mf tired all the time

wears the pureblood knights medal over armor

clothes consist of: (see images attached at bottom for visuals)

simplified version of lord of blood's robe

maliketh's greaves & gauntlets

preceptor's big hat (without mask) (original dark blue altered to fit the color scheme)

>Story? (Obviously doesn't align with my playthrough cuz you cant really choose what to do but this is fiction and I get to make things up as I please)

just here to have fun

no desire to become elden lord

stealth is the only good attribute (master at pussying away from danger)

tried to woo kenneth haight (he was having none of it) (where is the kiss goodbye kenneth)

ran past margit to break into stormveil castle

did actually defeat godrick w/ help of nepheli but also killed gostoc for disrespecting the dead (godrick)

other than nepheli and rennala, accidentally ends up having constant bad relations with women whether it be one sided or mutual

raya lucaria becomes comfort safe space where she can just talk about day to day adventures for hours to rennala

after completing the steps for varre's quest and getting that finger thing injected/broken (whatever he does), absolutely just passed out on the ground (not from pain just clocked out for the day) (varre had to stand there and wait till the mf woke up)

joins the mohgwyn dynasty and becomes a knight for ⛓️𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆𝖗𝖞 𝖒𝖔𝖍𝖌🥀

goes to the radahn festival to "check it out", leaves upon entry just like patches

finds rya and retrieves her necklace, gets invited to volcano manor and goes there but doesn't officially join (loyalties stay w/ mohgwyn)

actual positive relations with a woman (rya bff)

boggart also good friend, goes to him to have dinner together

hears rumors around the mohgwyn mausoleum that mohg's brother is morgott

sneaks into leyndell (seal allows it bc she does have godricks rune & rennala kinda just gave hers up)

beelines to morgott and here come my free writing abilities bc yes i absolutely can just make "talking it out" an option in this fan interpretation

no threat of stealing the throne/harming the tree & hours of convincing later = morgott friend W

visits him often to provide company bc you just know that mf hasn't had a proper conversation with a living being in decades

leaves melina in leyndell as requested but has no means of burning the erdtree so she (melina) just kinda roams free there

at some point makes it to seluvis' rise yes I need to include him in this (oh shit I also forgot about sir gideon I’ll add that after 😦)

makes the dung eater drink the potion because FUCK that guy I need him DEAD

seluvis has no idea, still kinda snarky but thinks his "scheme" worked so impression points raise

seluvis kindaaa??? friend, more of a guy you visit once a week to check up on but need months of interactions to actually break ice with

SIR GIDEON OFNIR THE ALLLLL KNOWING hates her at first

realized he can get knowledge on the lord of blood so opens up the doors to his little library nerd room

after prying for more information for weeks on end, starts becoming more familiar

repeat of kenneth haight where she tries to romance him and he doesn't care (eventually budges a bit)

dunno how to properly end hope you enjoyed

BTW I’ll be posting the Frenzied Flame version w/ its own hcs once I finish the ending !! Expect more content around this oc though ^_^

#elden ring #tarnished #tarnished oc #elden ring oc #sir gideon ofnir #white mask varre #gostoc #rennala #morgott #cirice #my art >_<

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jerryb2 · 4 years ago

Photo

I love everything about this. ❤ Before anyone says anything, yes - I know full well that you can read this novel, in its entirety, for free online. So. Why did I spend $12.71 for a physical copy of a free book that’s been out for the past 7 years?

Because I just love the fact that it exists. Some fan(s) out there dedicated the time and money to commission a small print run of a long-lost piece of Star Wars Media, and now it’s sitting on my bookshelf. That’s wonderful.

The story of this book is wild, man. I am by no means an expert on the subject, but the strangest part of its story might just be the treatment of its author, Kenneth C. Flint. The guy was straight-up screwed out of his own piece of Star Wars media, and even though he did go on to write a couple of SW short stories later on, I feel incredibly bad for him as a creator. I only hope that he goes on to get some much needed love from SW fans, and others at large.

As for the printing of the book itself....it’s alright. Not bad by any means, just pretty much what you would expect from a small, independently published mass-market paperback. I do have to say though, it’s weird to see a brand new Bantam-Spectra Era Star Wars paperback in the year 2021, a full 29 years after it was written. Weird, in a good way. 🙂

Oh, and they just reused the back cover and spine from The Courtship of Princess Leia:

I mean, regardless of what you think of Courtship (it sucks), it does have very nice cover art. Those elements also work well with the art on the front cover of Heart, which I believe is an original by Dave Dorman(?). This is the man who did most of the cover artwork for Star Wars projects like Dark Empire and the novel tie-ins for Dark Forces in the mid 90′s. Truly a legend in his own right, and very much deserving of more attention.

Anyway, I thought I would share on this, the most auspicious of days to be a Star Wars fan. Stay tuned. 😎

****

EDIT: The site where the free version is available says this about the cover art:

[ID: *Note the cover mockup was made by me based on an image from artist Paul Shipper. No copyright infringement is intended or implied. For a look at all of Paul’s amazing artwork, please go to his page here.]

Thanks for coming through in the clutch, @threadsketchier! 😎

****

EDIT EDIT: As of (roughly) May 12, 2021, Disney has already eviscerated the book from Amazon, and you can’t even view the item in your purchase history. On the one hand, I can understand why it was taken down from a purely legal perspective; Disney owns Star Wars and its accompanying copyrighted images (the SW logo, character likenesses, etc.) and they are required by law to enforce their copyrights, lest they forfeit any potential profits. However, for them to rip the thing from Amazon almost immediately, and the simple fact that this book is the first piece of Legends (sort of) media published physically in almost a decade, it feels kind of disrespectful to Legends fans, and besides that it is just so, sooooo sleazy.

#star wars #star wars eu #star wars legends #the heart of the jedi #kenneth c flint #maythefourthbewithyou #star wars day

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newstfionline · 5 years ago

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Headlines: Friday, October 2, 2020

World leaders, virtual meeting 1.0: Was anybody listening? (AP) In the space of a few minutes, on a prerecorded video filmed thousands of miles from where it was shown, the tech-savvy president of El Salvador captured the two strikingly different sides of this year’s unprecedented—and virtual—“gathering” of world leaders “at” the U.N. General Assembly in 2020. On one hand, Nayib Bukele said, humanity holds in its smartphone-clutching hands a 21st-century miracle: “In a world which is almost completely connected, I can say a few words here and be heard in the farthest corners of the world.” Yet in the same speech Tuesday, he raised this ever-present doubt: When the people who govern the world were delivering sequestered addresses to the United Nations this past week, was anybody actually listening? “If you don’t believe me,” he said, “ask the first person you see.”

Voters bemoan nasty debate (AP) Donald Trump and Joe Biden debated. Americans cringed. After the presidential candidates put on one of the noisiest, most chaotic debates in recent memory, voters across the country struggled for words—printable words—to describe the display. Many went first to profanities. Others landed on more polite, but still biting, terms for the live, prime-time event, long considered evidence of the rigors of U.S. democracy: “A joke,” “a disgrace” and “so disrespectful.” In interviews with voters across key states in the contest, those who watched the spectacle nearly unanimously recoiled from it. Many said Trump was the instigator, whose frequent interruptions blew up the rules and any pretense that the men were there to discuss policy. None said it would change their minds on how they planned to vote. Instead, voters on both sides said it only reaffirmed their positions.

Trump says he and first lady tested positive for coronavirus (AP) President Donald Trump said early Friday that he and first lady Melania Trump have tested positive for the coronavirus, a stunning announcement that plunges the country deeper into uncertainty just a month before the presidential election. Trump, who has spent much of the year downplaying the threat of a virus that has killed more than 205,000 Americans, said he and Mrs. Trump were quarantining. The White House physician said the president is expected to continue carrying out his duties “without disruption” while recovering. Still, Trump’s diagnosis was sure to have a destabilizing effect in Washington, raising questions about how far the virus had spread through the highest levels of the U.S. government. Trump is 74 years old, putting him at higher risk of serious complications from a virus that has infected more than 7 million people nationwide.

Millions of Americans risk losing power and water as massive, unpaid utility bills pile up (Washington Post) This Tuesday marked 67 days of darkness for Kenneth Parson. He fell behind on his utility bills in the spring—and his lights went off, and stayed off, starting at the end of July. The worst economic crisis in more than a generation has thrust potentially millions of Americans across the country into a similar, sudden peril: Cash-strapped, and in some cases still unemployed, they have fallen far behind on their electricity, water and gas bills, staring down the prospect of potential utility shut-offs and fast-growing debts they may never be able to repay. At the start of the coronavirus pandemic, many states acted quickly to ensure their residents would not lose their power or other utilities if their jobs or wages were slashed. Now, however, only 21 states and the District of Columbia still have such disconnection bans in place. That leaves roughly 179 million Americans at risk of losing service even as the economy continues sputtering, according to the National Energy Assistance Directors’ Association, which is tracking the moratoria. Millions more in nine other states are set to lose their protections starting Thursday and throughout the fall, the group found. Americans nationwide also appear to be racking up massive unpaid bills in the process. Electric and gas debts alone threaten to reach or exceed $24.3 billion by the end of the year, according to a new NEADA analysis, released Thursday, based on roughly two dozen states’ regulatory filings.

Unequal recession (Washington Post) The economic collapse sparked by the pandemic is triggering the most unequal recession in modern U.S. history, delivering a mild setback for those at or near the top and a depression-like blow for those at the bottom, according to a Washington Post analysis of job losses across the income spectrum. Recessions often hit poorer households harder, but this one is doing so at a scale that is the worst in generations, the analysis shows.

Pandemic Highlights Deep-Rooted Problems in Indian Health Service (NYT) Long before the coronavirus, the Indian Health Service, the government program that provides health care to the 2.2 million members of the nation’s tribal communities, was plagued by shortages of funding and supplies, a lack of doctors and nurses, too few hospital beds and aging facilities. Now the pandemic has exposed those weaknesses as never before, contributing to the disproportionally high infection and death rates among Native Americans and fueling new anger about what critics say has been decades of neglect from Congress and successive administrations in Washington. Hospitals waited months for protective equipment, some of which ended up being expired, and had far too few beds and ventilators to handle the flood of Covid-19 patients. The virus has killed more than 500 people in the Navajo Nation in the southwest United States, giving it a death rate higher than New York, Florida and Texas. It has infected more than 10 percent of the small tribe of Choctaw Indians in Mississippi. In Arizona, Native Americans account for 11 percent of all coronavirus deaths in the state despite making up only 5 percent of the population. In New Mexico, nearly 30 percent of infections are Native Americans even though they are only 11 percent of the population.

Cuba to devalue its currency (Foreign Policy) The Cuban government is preparing plans to devalue the peso for the first time since the 1959 revolution that brought the communist regime to power as the country reels from its worst economic crisis since the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991. The economy has come under heavy pressure from the impact of the coronavirus and renewed U.S. sanctions, forcing the government to implement drastic monetary reforms. In addition to the devaluation of the peso, the government also plans to eliminate the convertible peso, a second form of currency used in the country, and to allow Cubans to make purchases in U.S. dollars.

The Carnival Parade Is Canceled, and Rio Is Reeling (NYT) For more than a century, Rio de Janeiro’s carnival has been an irrepressible force, unstoppable by wars, disease, labor strikes or political repression. Raucous celebrations took over city streets despite the 1918 Spanish flu pandemic, during both World Wars and through Brazil’s military dictatorship. Glitter flew, hips swayed and drummers pounded in 2008, despite a dengue outbreak that sickened more than 200,000 in the state. Even in 2014, when trash collectors struck, the revelry continued amid the filth. But now, amid the pandemic, the official carnival parade has been suspended, indefinitely. Rio is reeling. The organizers of the parade decided, for the first time since 1932, when Rio’s samba parade became official, to suspend it. The heads of the city’s leading samba organizations found that without a vaccine, conditions would not be safe.

Unemployment marches higher in Europe amid pandemic (AP) Unemployment rose for a fifth straight month in Europe in August amid concern that extensive government support programs won’t be able keep many businesses hit by coronavirus restrictions afloat forever. The jobless rate rose to 8.1% in the 19 countries that use the euro currency in August, up from 7.9% in July, official statistics showed Thursday. Some 13.2 million people were unemployed and the number of those out of work rose by 251,000. Economists expect a further rise as wage support programs expire, while an increase in infections in many countries has increased fears that some restrictions on business interaction may have to be re-imposed.

Italian couple set to wed after falling in love from their balconies (The Week) It was love at first sight for Michele D'Alpaos and Paola Agnelli. D'Alpaos, 38, and Agnelli, 40, have lived across from each other in Verona, Italy, for years, but didn't "meet" until D'Alpaos saw Agnelli out on her balcony one evening in mid-March. "I was immediately struck by the beauty of this girl, by her smile," D'Alpaos told The Washington Post. "I had to know her." Agnelli was standing outside with her sister, who played the violin nightly as a way to cheer up her neighbors amid the coronavirus pandemic. When D'Alpaos caught her eye, it was "a magical moment," she said. D'Alpaos' sister told him she knew Agnelli from their gym, and gave him her name. He immediately found her on Instagram, and struck up a conversation. They messaged each other for hours, before moving onto texting and then phone calls. D'Alpaos sent Agnelli flowers and wrote "Paola" on an old bedsheet that he hung from his apartment complex, and they counted the days until the lockdown would be over and they could go on their first in-person date. They have since become engaged, and look forward to moving into their own apartment and starting a family.

Russia’s Military Strength Now at Post-Cold War Peak, Report Says (Bloomberg) Russia’s military is now more capable than at any time since the end of the Cold War, according to a new report. After more than a decade of investment and reform, Russia’s troops are better equipped and more professional than their predecessors, according to “Russia’s Military Modernization: An Assessment,” a report published on Wednesday by the London-based International Institute for Strategic Studies. Russia began its current military modernization drive after its armed forces’ poor performance in the country’s brief war with Georgia in 2008, according to the report. It highlights particular improvements in Russia’s nuclear weaponry and in the Russian Aerospace Forces, as well as patchier progress in Russia’s ground forces and navy.

Russia and France seek end to fighting over Nagorno-Karabakh (AP) Russia and France stepped up calls for a ceasefire between Azerbaijan and ethnic Armenian forces on Thursday as the death toll rose in the heaviest clashes around the Nagorno-Karabakh region since the 1990s. Dozens have been reported killed and hundreds wounded since fighting broke out over Nagorno-Karabakh, a mountainous enclave inside Azerbaijan that is administered by ethnic Armenians and broke away in a 1991-94 war that killed 30,000. The re-eruption of one of the “frozen conflicts” dating back to the collapse of the Soviet Union has raised concerns about stability in the South Caucasus, a corridor for pipelines carrying oil and gas to world markets, and raised fears that regional powers Russia and Turkey could be drawn in. A Kremlin statement said there was no alternative to using “political and diplomatic methods” to resolve the crisis.

Russia’s Navalny accuses Putin of being behind poisoning (AP) Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, who is recovering in Germany after being poisoned in Russia by a nerve agent, accused Russian President Vladimir Putin of being behind the attack in comments released Thursday. Navalny’s supporters have frequently maintained that such an attack could have only been ordered at the top levels, though the Kremlin has steadfastly denied any involvement in it.

Police throttle Hong Kong protests against Beijing (Washington Post) Thousands of police officers flooded onto Hong Kong’s streets Thursday, stopping and searching people en masse, to thwart demonstrations planned for China’s National Day over Beijing’s tightening control of the city. Officers were stationed on virtually every corner of the Causeway Bay shopping district, searching everyone from the young to the elderly. Hours after the planned start of the rally, police surrounded a group of at least 50 bystanders and lined them up against the wall, handcuffed them and marched them away. Stopped from marching, groups of protesters and regular residents would break into chants popularized during street protests last year, including “Liberate Hong Kong, Revolution of our Times” while jeering at the police. Police swooped in to surround any substantial gatherings and warned those chanting that they were in violation of the draconian new national security law. Beijing in late June made the stunning move of passing a national security law by fiat in the hopes of suffocating the street protests that had rocked Hong Kong for eight months until the pandemic hit. The new law overrode all of the semiautonomous city’s local procedures and greatly raised the stakes for protesting with the broadly-worded crimes of “secession,” “subversion of state power,” “terrorism” and “foreign interference” to be punished by life in prison.

#headlines #news

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annoyinglyjovialbird · 5 years ago

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Voltron: Next Generation

Charging Ahead: II

Word Count: 2828

Cross-legged on the floor, Kova was fiddling with the hard drive of Allura knows what.

Cake and Allie were practicing with their Lions, asking for permission to leave the Coeus. They had been floating through space for days, while Kenny tried to shorten the journey to the Karthulian Star System. Of course, that was proving more difficult than it should have been. Griffin agreed to help, and it's been a few hours since anything had been heard from either of them. Caleb would've gone down to check, but he chose Cake and Allie preparing to leave as a priority.

The hard drive in Kova's hand was about as big as her hand, and a final puzzle piece. The hard drive was being harvested and installed into the screen on Kova's arm piece. Or rather, Griffin's arm piece, since the Green Lion was supposedly the most technologically advanced.

As the seconds ticked by, the signal bars on Kova's screen became stronger.

Back at the Garrison, it had been days since anyone had heard of the teams and Shiro. Commander Holt was frantic, raving about a grandson who was missing. Of course, no one knew what the old man was talking about until Matt stepped in. There was no way to confirm Kenneth's location unless someone on board the ship could make contact.

As I said, it had been days.

Curtis was in the conference room adjourned to the Colonel's office, sipping on a cup of peppermint tea.

Kova was counting on this. This was a ritual for the Shirogane couple before they started their day, whether the other was there or not.

Curtis was sipping his tea, with eyes closed as the projector came to life.

The project Kova had been working on was a small drone, reconfigured, and found in one of the trash bins in the engine room. There were so many of these.

"Hey, Pops." Kova only spared a glance at the terrified man's direction. To even say Curtis was terrified was an understatement. The hot tea in his mouth was spit out of his mouth in such a violent manner, he was bent over coughing up what remained onto the carpet. If he looked up and there was nothing there, he could chalk it up to hallucinations.

Of course, nothing is that simple.

Kova kept glancing at the man as he stared at her in disbelief.

"Kova?" Curtis whispered. "Is that you?"

"Last I checked." Kova's crass reply confirmed it. This was happening.

"How?" Curtis stared at the teen, who was fiddling with a hard drive in her hand. "Did you make a universal remote?"

"Sort of, yeah."

"How did you get the projector to work? It's a secure system."

"I hacked it, like, two years ago." This was his daughter.

"How are you?" Curtis's questions began. "Where are you? Do you need a rescue?" Kova looked up, cocking her head at the screen. She held up one finger, putting her handiwork in her lap.

"I'm fine," She held up a second finger. "We're in space." A third finger was raised. "No."

"You're going somewhere." Curtis finally saw what Kova was wearing. She would never wear that unless she was aware of a long journey.

A cobalt blue dress paired with black leggings, black combat boots, and a black sleeveless vest she had stolen from Shiro's closet. Her dark hair was pulled away from her face in a high ponytail, little wispies breaking free.

"Where are you going? I can send help."

"Pops." Curtis met Kova's eyes as best he could. "We don't need help. This is something we have to do." Curtis sighed. He leaned on the chair at the furthest end of the conference table.

"Okay, then." Curtis thought back to the panic the Holt family was in earlier that week. It was worth a shot. "Who's onboard?"

"My team, two-thirds of Caleb's team, Dad, and Kenny," Kova said the last name with such disdain, it was almost laughable.

"Kenny makes him sound Cyrus's age."

"He acted like it, so he gets to be called it." Kova had picked up her work and started it again in the middle of her sentence.

"Commander Holt was so worried about him."

"Oh, I'm sure."

"Please don't disrespect the Holts right now."

"They disrespected me first." Kova looked up. The flying Lions had caught her eye, but the MFE had her full attention. Where was Griffin again?

"Dad!" Caleb was yelling down the hallway. Curtis saw him walk into the doorway earlier and waved. His voice had Kova standing up.

"Pops, I gotta go."

"What's going on?"

"I have to go!" Standing too fast, Kova began muttering to herself, limping towards the doorway. Her foot had fallen asleep. With a vague wave, Kova was gone. A minute had passed when another figure appeared in the doorway.

With mid-parted white hair and a scar across the bridge of his nose, Curtis thought his husband was just as handsome as the day they met.

"Takashi."

"Curtis." Both men had lovesick smiles on their faces, staring at their partner with arrows piercing their hearts for the sudden separation.

"What's going on out there?"

"The Fire is back, stronger than ever." Shiro watched Curtis's blue eyes fill with shock, then dread at the information.

"I'm assuming Kova and Caleb know and haven't said a word."

"You assume correctly." Shiro sighed. He could see out the window at the teens.

"There is going to be a point where Kova has to face this head-on." Curtis watched his husband's face fall at his words. "We knew this was coming and she's prepared to fight. There's nothing else we can do."

Light years away, Shiro nodded. Kova and Caleb's bickering voices became louder the closer they came to the bridge, while Liz and Cake were trying to defuse the argument. Allie watched on in curiosity. Kenny, blocked by the bickering duo, tried retreating to the engine room. He was dragged to the bridge instead.

"Jet packs with green flames would be so cool!"

"And dangerous to our health!" Curtis watched the teens come in, rolling his eyes. He noticed the teens were wearing old paladin armor, thinking it strange since there were only five. Allie and Cake had bayards in their gloved hands, waiting for the bickering leaders to stop.

"Voltron?" Curtis's shocked voice had everyone's attention. Allie's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates while Cake held his bayard out. The bayard morphed into an energy cannon, which Cake seemed to just brush off as normal. His pupils narrowed into tiny dark slits against his yellow sclera. Curtis was worried that Cake might shoot until Kova barked something he couldn't understand.

"You could've told him." He heard Kova mutter to Shiro. Cake relaxed his grip on the bayard but didn't let go. Shiro was standing at the base of a platform. Kova was above him, leaning on a railing. Caleb was standing on a half-level below Kova, Liz was to Kova's left on the same level, and Cake and Allie were on the floor with Shiro. Kenny, try as he might, was trying to stand behind Kova at all times.

"We're looking for the other Voltron lions," Caleb said. Curtis stared at the screen. Kova was bracing herself for the scolding.

Hours later, they were close enough to the Karthulian Star System to leave the ship. Kova was clenching and relaxing her jaw while she fiddled with the earpieces in her hand. Hopefully, the connection to the satellite wouldn't make the sound so patchy, but only the next few hours would tell. All of the teens were suited up and ready to go, but they had a last-minute briefing before they went ahead with it. Allie was confused but Cake did his best to comfort her.

Kova handed an earpiece to each of the teens as they came in. Shiro was on the floor, staring at maps of the three planets the other lions may reside in. He turned as the five teens began to sit themselves down. Caleb and Kova had matching poker faces, Liz had her eyebrows furrowed, Cake was studying the maps, and Allie was stiff in her seat.

"The Coeus will not be able to assist you as you journey to these planets." Shiro began his inspiring speech. "Only your partners will be able to assist you in any way, shape, or form." Kova and Caleb eyed each other, before returning to meet Shiro's eyes. "Kova, you will stay here. I need you navigating and directing the others." She nodded, miffed since she wasn't going out. "Cake, I want you traveling with Liz to Griezian Sur. The Muldoks will easily outnumber you if you aren't careful." Cake and Liz nodded as Shiro turned his head to Caleb and Allie. "Allie, you will be assisting Caleb. The suit will protect you from Yendailian's temperatures for a short time, but you will eventually overheat." Turning to the whole group, Shiro met every pair of eyes. "Be careful, and when you return, you'll be able to form Voltron." Kova took a deep breath, staying still as the other four left the bridge.

She watched from her place as the Yellow and Blue Lions left the bay and floated in front of the windows.

"Call in. Shirogane."

"Here."

"Smythe."

"Here."

"Griffin."

"Here."

"Garrett."

"Here."

"Roll out, team. You have your coordinates." With that, the pairs left the Coeus behind, until they were no longer visible with the naked eye. Kova watched as the blue dot on the map for Yendailian got closer to the planet's surface and began to move around erratically.

"Blue, what's going on?" Kova began typing something into her screen until camera footage appeared on the screen. It wasn't nearly as terrifying as it looked.

Blue was positioned on a gray stone ridge overlooking a lake of molten rock, with sporadic geysers of simmering air erupted from somewhere below the lake's surface. That wasn't the terrifying bit. The Red Lion was on a shorter pillar of stone in the middle of the lake. Allie had tried going over the vents of air to drop Caleb above the Lion, but a ring of geysers surrounded the pillar. The Blue Lion wasn't built for the high temperatures.

On the opposite side, Cake and Liz had arrived at Griezian Sur. They, too, were also perched on a high ledge. Liz was on the edge of it, looking over the condensed canopy of the planet's forests. If the species here were as tall as they were rumored to be, then Liz would have an easier time finding the Lion on her own than in the Yellow Lion. Cake seemed to agree, grabbing his bayard and joining Liz on the ledge.

"We're gonna venture on our own without Yellow." The pair started looking around for a path down the mountain.

"Don't."

"Cap, if we don't, we're gonna walk into a fight."

"Don't do it."

"Cap!"

"Sorry, Cake. Caleb's trying to kill himself." Staring at two screens was challenging enough. Talking to multiple people, however, made it harder than it should've been. "You're clear to continue. Use that river to your right, it should lead you towards Green's location. Caleb, don't you dare!" With that, Liz and Cake made their way down the mountain.

Caleb had also exited the Lion, much to Allie's protests. It's not as if she tried very hard to stop him, though. Caleb had found a thin bridge connecting the low pillar and the edge of the lake. Kova almost immediately yelled in his ear. Onboard the Coeus, Kova was doing everything but slamming her head on the railing.

"Let me cross the bridge or I mute you." Caleb's voice came over, just as annoyed as Kova. Growling, Kova knew she had a choice to make.

"Fine!" Kova didn't meet Shiro's eyes. Not yet, anyway. "But don't try being cool! Get on all fours and crawl!" Doing exactly what he was told to do, even with all the grumbling, Caleb began his journey across the bridge.

Back on Griezian Sur, Liz and Cake were walking along the banks of the river hoping to find something they could use to make their trip faster. Tremors shook the earth under their feet, leaving the two scrambling for some sort of shelter. This happened to be an oddly shaped cavern near the water's edge, but it was something. Even without knowing what a muldok looked like, they knew this wasn't it.

A robot the size of Yellow stomped up to the water's edge. With a step, it blocked the water flow of the river. The cold water was only a few inches deep around the edges, and with the new blockage, the water began rising. Slowly, but surely, the water began to reach their ankles. It was halfway up their calves when they decided to contact the Coeus.

"Cap?" Kova's eyes were fixated on the screen with Caleb's camera feed. Reluctantly, she turned to Cake's and backed up a step. "We have a problem."

"The giant foot is hard to miss."

"What is it?" Kova noticed Cake's voice was low, almost a whisper.

"Find symbols on its armor," Cake looked up, searching the light gray plates. On a pointed shoulder, a violet symbol was barely visible. It was rough, but Kova could make out its familiarity. She had seen it too many times in reports. Now it has its first update in a long time.

"It looks like a 'Y'," Cake said. "Maybe a 'V' with a tail on the bottom."

"Who cares?" Liz hissed. "How are we getting around it?"

"Maybe we can steal it."

"No." Kova was firm. "Do not engage. Go around it, but stay in its blind spots. If there is one, there will be more."

"I think it's only one," Allie said, jumping into the conversation. Switching camera feeds, Kova saw what Allie did. Another mecha, similar to the first on Griezian Sur, was being dropped on the surface of the planet and moving towards Blue.

"Change of plans," Kova began running through scenarios through her head. "Allie, Cake, I need you to engage and distract." Cake wanted to complain, but he was quickly silenced by Allie's scream. "Allie, get it away from Caleb!"

With creaks, the mecha in front of Cake and Liz turned towards the Yellow Lion on its ridge. The water level was up to their knees.

"I'm gonna hitch a ride," Cake said quickly. "Get to Green." With a nod, Liz watched Cake hop onto the foot of the mecha as its mechanical knees started bending. Liz watched it disappear, sure that its back was turned before running down the river.

Kova watched on as four camera feeds showed four different perspectives. Allie was firing blasts at the mecha, effectively distracting it. Caleb was scooting his butt across the lava lake, maybe thirty feet from the Lion. Cake's feed was bouncing up and down with the movements of the mecha. Liz was running towards the location of the Green Lion.

"Are you sure they're the correct pilots?" Shiro asked Kova, who was biting her thumb, a habit he and Curtis couldn't quite curb.

"Caleb has been relying on instinct since day one. You know that."

"And Liz with Green?"

"She's always been ready to learn, no matter the challenges. If she's not the pilot, I don't know who else could take it up."

"Uh, me." Kenny was pointing at himself, leaning back in Caleb's chair with an ankle on his knee.

"Like I was saying, it's Liz or no one." Kova turned back to the screens, ignoring Kenny's expression.

Caleb was ten feet away from the Lion.

Liz had been running for a solid few minutes, using the sudden flow of the river to take her towards the Green Lion's location.

Cake's bouncing hadn't stopped, but he was near the base of the ridge where Yellow was standing. A yellow forcefield appeared around the Lion as a jerky arm reached out.

Allie was firing, but the mecha was starting to ignore her.

With some last few scoots, Caleb was on the pillar with the Lion. The heat was starting to get to him, thick beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. He was starting to pant for air, but he managed to enter the Lion. Sitting at the controls, Caleb's eyesight became fuzzy. He was too close to passing out from the heat.

"Caleb!" Kova shouted, but the poor boy couldn't hear beyond a few words. "Caleb, just put your hands on the controls!"

Even in his dazed state, Caleb reached out. He couldn't quite reach it.

Allie's scream came over the comms again. Blue had been smacked away from the lava lakes towards one of the erupting volcanoes that surrounded the planet.

Kova and Shiro could only watch Allie's screen in horror as the mecha eerily marched towards Caleb and the Red Lion.

2 notes · View notes

minkdelovely · 11 months ago

Text

UGHHHH HAZEL IT WAS TOO GOOD. I maybe shouldn’t have had coffee right before reading this cuz now I’m all worked up.

The tension here is sooo palpable — I can feel that we’re gearing up for the finale and I’m just clawing my hands into the dirt before being inevitably dragged away kicking and screaming 😮‍💨

PLEASE NOTE: In case it’s not obvious lmao whenever I call our little Detective by his first name it’s with disrespectful intent 😂✨

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Brady bit his tongue, wanting to say something sharp. I don’t see any ladies here.

DON’T BE SUCH A FUCKING SQUARE KENNETH

He felt like a fox about to be pecked to death by the hens.

YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE HEN HOUSE PUNK 😤

“Does Janet know you like to hang around burlesquers?” Someone said as his back was turned.

it’s me, I’m someone

“Could you stay with me? I’m not going anywhere. But I’ll feel safer if I’m not talking to him alone. In case he tries to drag me out. He seems a little off his rocker.” You were genuinely scared he would grab you by the arm and pull you out of the theater if he didn’t think anyone would see.

HONESTLYYY that Detective Brady is off his rocker <- actually just doing his job but I don’t like it >:T

Brady felt an embarrassed blush take hold as the women moved past him with scowls and tsks.

WHAT DID I SAY? BRUV CAN’T HANDLE THE HEN HOUSE

He didn’t need to talk to you. His lead still stood. But maybe you’d slip and say something to expedite his search for the radio man.

THE RADIO DEMAN 🫠✨

Brady’s eyeline adjusted from yours to Ruth’s. Skye Scraper wasn’t just a pun, it was a cruel nickname she took ownership of. “Finish that sentence.”

FUCK YEAH RUTH

You’d memorized the number the night Alastor gave it to you, too scared to write it down. He warned you though he wouldn’t be the one to answer.

UGHH BRENDA

“Is Alastor still there?” You tried to smile so you sounded less panicked. Ruth mouthed his name and pretended to swoon as you held the phone close to your ear.

SAMEEEE RUTHIE

Alastor was lying across Brenda’s desk to reach the phone, having wrestled it from the woman’s grip, “I’m here. What’s wrong? I was about to leave.”

THE IMAGE THIS CONJURES MAKES ME SOOOO FUCKING WEAK 😩🙏🏻❤️‍🔥

“I’m coming over to the theater.”

HE’S MAKING ME WANNA CRYYY STOOPPP 🫠🫠🫠

“Please, dear, I don’t want our first fight to be over my work line.” A calming breath, “You don’t have to meet me, but I’ll be there. Just five minutes, then I’ll be off.”

SIR YOU NEVER LISTEN WHEN I SAY STOP 😩😭🫠

But how much harder would it be if the wall was of the prison? Or worse, dense earth under your feet? That’s what Brady was wanting.

GOD DAMN IT KENNETHHH YOU’RE RUINING EVERYTHING

He smelled like ink and smoke, a scent you inhaled as you tried to calm your breath.

GODDDDD 🥲🥲🥲

A large hand patted your head, “Okay. You go tomorrow. It’ll be fine. Don’t stress.” Pulling you off he placed chaste kisses across your face. “Think about what you want to say to him and we can talk it out in the morning. Everything is fine.”

I AM A MESS <- my resting state but still

He was impressed at the strength of your hands as you gripped at his clothes. Leaning against the car, he offered you his most charming smile. “Deep breaths, dear. Do I look scared?”

I AM TOO IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN IT’S ACTUALLY REALLY BAD Y’ALL

He didn’t. He looked like a magazine ad for French cologne or razor blades that left the softest skin.

FUUUCKKK

“Did he–” he elongated the word, lips pursed as he searched the sky for his next words, “have Tommy’s body?”

THE REAL QUESTION HE COULDN’T ASK RIGHT AWAY GODDD

“I’ll admit I’m being reckless but I think we can both agree my way is more fun.” Smile sliding into a smirk, he cocked his head and lowered it to get back into your line of sight. When you stuck your tongue out he took a deep breath in, relief. “Are you sure I can’t take you home?”

SIR* YOU REALLY NEED TO STOP BEING THIS HANDSOME AND CHARMING ALL THE TIME *had to fix this cuz autocorrect switched ‘sir’ to ‘sire’ and tbh… not completely wrong

To which home, you wondered. He used the word so casually and interchangeably…

AAANDDD THE BASEBALL BAT FINALLY COMES OUT

Face close to yours. Eyes solely on you. Perhaps the stage wasn’t as necessary as you’d once thought. Lips on lips, the feeling of his smile spreading as he returned the kiss. A second of panic as you realized you couldn’t see or hear or sense what else was happening anymore in the alley. Brady could have had you in handcuffs and you wouldn’t be the wiser. Not as long as Alastor’s mouth was moving over yours.

WASTED ZERO TIME IN BEATING ME WITH THAT BAT HAZEL 🫠❤️‍🔥

While you did your waiting, shuffling around the theater and later tossing around in bed, Alastor fell into a different kind of purgatory. One he hadn’t realized he’d made for himself until you weren’t there.

I 👏🏻 AM 👏🏻 WEEPING 👏🏻

The feeling in his chest, akin to a magnet tugging through his sternum toward a distant partner, didn’t abate.

THE WAY I HAD TO STOP MYSELF FROM REACTING TO EVERY SINGLE BIT… YEARNING MAKES ME FERALLLL

You were together with him. An item. How spectacular you must be to be a part of anything with him.

IT’S AN OVERWHELMING CONCEPT OMGGG

But for Alastor, well, he wasn’t done asking the question. A moment of panic from a place unrecognized in his brain, fear of losing himself entirely. But what good was a safe harbor if he never ventured out to sea? That’s just a restraint then, isn’t it? Maybe you held a place for him even richer in its comforts than his solitude. So he let himself drift away from familiar shores, no sails and no compass, “I think it’d be smart to bring over a couple sets of clothes. I can keep them washed and always here for you. Would that be alright?” He had wanted to suggest it while together, but Brady was ruining more than his sleep.

THIS ACTUALLY MADE ME SHORT CIRCUIT

“I know it’s boring out in the boonies but, you’re welcome to just stay over while I go to work. I can come back and get you for rehearsals… I’ll enjoy the clubs or come back and make something for a late dinner for us, and bring you home when you’re done.”

I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE!! The amount of effort and affection that’s being offered here is making my head spin 😵‍💫💖

“Alastor for the love of God please don’t make me keep talking right now.” You lightly knocked your head with the phone a few times. Your heart was gasping for an ounce of understanding.

SAME BITCH SAME

He chuckled, glad you were still very much yourself, “I meant, take you home as in, away from work. So, here. Or, there, if you’d prefer.” His face scrunched up, this wasn’t a conversation he had any practice in, “Anywhere really. I’ll drive you anywhere.”

issuhsjsjdjjdsjjddhidsniddjjdjen

“Like— the first time you asked me over.” You added quickly. A terrible joke, a bad callback that made it painfully obvious you committed everything he said to memory.

ALABAMA 😩✨

Alastor rested his cheek on the dining table, laughing into the wood before bringing the receiver back. You always offered him an out of uncomfortable situations, “Well the offer still stands. I'd be willing to even venture at least halfway across Texas.”

🗣️ I FUCKING SAID STOP

You were worth regrets. He had decided. He wanted you to say yes.

I AM BEING BEATEN INTO ANGEL DUST

But could you call any place so far from Alastor a home?

not anymore 🥲🫠💖

Brady noticed the uneven length when you sat down and set your hands on the table.

THIS IS ANOTHER ONE WHO DOESN’T LISTEN WHEN I SAY STOP

“Not as cold as she is, I’m sure of that.”

HEHEHEHE

Lying was second nature to you. You had killed for Alastor. You could do this. Deep breaths, slink into yourself. You imagined Alastor choked on the park grounds, wet and unmoving. Imagined him cold to the touch.

TOO MUCH COLD BEING MENTIONED IN A WAY I DON’T CARE FOR 🥲

“Tommy said he’d kill me if I didn’t go. So I did. Promised me he’d stay with me for protection.” Tears welled. Bloody hands and a large rock. “But as soon as he got his money he left.”

BLOODY HANDS AND A LARGE ROCK… THAT NIGHT WILL NEVER GO AWAY 🥺

“Ah,” a weak laugh to hide the way your breath got sucked in with panic. The words ‘radio boyfriend’ punched the air from your lungs. “You must mean the rake. Took me for a ride at a club corner and sent me off in a cab to never see me again. Didn’t know he was in radio though.”

THE DEBONAIR RAKE

You’d never fucking say it. He could walk in on you moaning ‘Alastor’ and you’d still act like you’d never heard that string of syllables in your life.

WHO??

You shrugged, “We weren’t on a full name basis. He was handsome, he took me out, we fucked, I never saw him again” You delighted in the way his face screwed up at your unladylike language.

CUZ KENNETH IS A FUCKING SQUAREEE

You pulled your hands into your lap, eyes firmly locked on Brady’s. “You look tired, sir. I hope my answers will help you. So you can rest.”

this is so cunt, I love it

Upon closer inspection, his eyes were more than just blue. They were dark and light, deep and shallow. Blue so far down it was nearly black. A blue so bright it was a cousin of white. Eyes you were sure would haunt you.

THE HUNTER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN… 😩

“Help me then, Autumn.” Your brows rose at the request. He leaned back and away from you, “Just tell me what happened to Tommy. What your guy did. If he was trying to protect your name then we could find a sympathetic jury.”

DON’T MAKE ME THREATEN YOU KENNETH

Brady felt a twitch in his hands he wasn’t used to. An itch to move. Unlike him, and a little frightening.

DAMNNN HE WANTS TO HIT A LADY…

Those eyes. No, worse. What was behind them. You could see it clearly; unflappable determination. He absolutely would.

SIGHHH… the hunter on the other side of the coin 😔

“Autumn. I’ve seen enough make up covered bruises to clock em from across the room. That’s the act of a possessive, immature man. Just think about what I said,” You opened the door in an effort to keep your hands from shooting to your neck. “There’s no white picket fence or church bells for you two. He’s a bad man. I think he may even be an evil man. You’re gonna end up hurt, or dead.”

KENNETH FUCKING KILLJOY EVERYONE

“North Villere street and Piety, please.” He told the driver, not noticing his friend in the window.

I’M GONNA NEED HIS FRIEND TO ACTUALLY LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SAY STOP THIS TIME

His blood pressure rose so quickly he was sure he would black out as the cab turned around and drove back past the sign; Vincent DePaul cemetery.

honestly detective, did you think it was gonna be residential with the cross section PIETY??

Alastor kissed away the worries when he took your bag from you. Every detail of the interview was just hummed away. “Even if he finds me, without a body he has no case.” He reminded you like it was nothing short of fact.

BABE I LOVE YOU BUT I NEED YOU TO MAYBE NOT BE THIS BLASÉ

“Not one of mine, I can assure you. He’d sooner need to kill someone himself and call it my fault.” A pause, was that something the detective would do? He shook off the thought.

KENNETH MIGHT

You waited until you were a few drinks in, Alastor’s bowtie off and shirt unbuttoned several buttons before bringing it up.

SEVERAL BUTTONS?? SCANDALOUS

Leaning back on both hands for support, your legs rested in an unladylike spread down the porch stairs. No shoes. No girdle. No pretense.

COMFORTABLE 🥺💖

“Or was I stalking you as my next victim?” His head fell to the side, eyes closed and smile wide. “I saw you there, yes. And though you weren’t the best singer, I did enjoy your shows.”

AGAIN… I SEE HIM TOO WELL AND IT’S MAKING ME VERY NOT NORMAL

Your relief must have been visible. “He really got to you, didn’t he?” Alastor asked, leaning over and letting his shoulder bump into yours. He was still riding the high of putting away your belongings in his closet and drawers.

SIR I ACTUALLY DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS I CAN TAKE

People have drowned on land before. A sprinkle could lead to pneumonia and that could lead to a wooden box.

SIGGHHHH IT HURTS HERE

He couldn’t let Brady poison his bed, and the man was clearly there now. Chasing you in your mind still.

BRADY = POISON IS TOO ACCURATE

“Perfect. This bed isn’t made for three, so let’s eject that little nag, dear.” His hands slipped down your legs, “I want to replace your thoughts with better ones.”

HE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE DEATH OF ME Y’ALL

“Whose?” His voice was deeper than his usual speaking tone. A tenor that made you clench around him.

I AM LITERALLY ON FIRE????

You’d never been so satisfied with hands before. With breath. With the sounds of a man. Never saw stars while clothed and not under the lights of the stage. Warm and wet kisses to your neck as you came down from your high, you’d never considered sex could be more than a man fucking someone. Nor that a man could find pleasure so readily with his cock still in his pants. But the way he hummed and growled softly into your skin was proof of his good time.

I LIKE… ACTUALLY CAN’T EVEN THINK STRAIGHT OH MY GODDD

You’d learned a lot from those progressively chillier nights at Alastor’s over the first week of your constant cohabitation. How much you liked waking up with someone just a reach away. How Alastor woke slowly, incapable of coherent speech for at least the first twenty minutes of his day. He’d stare and smile as his eyes blinked out of sync, rolling back occasionally as he fought the urge to fall back into sleep. Hair disheveled and soft.

FULLY BLACKED OUT SORRY Y’ALL I DON’T HAVE THE CAPACITY FOR WIT

A week without a peep, you were sure he had followed up with your mother and was probably steaming to get at you. But, for some reason or another, he hadn’t appeared again in the crowd of your shows.

CUZ HE’S PROBABLY HUNTING… or I can’t help but think of worse case scenarios 🫠

Your eyes were on Alastor when his car pulled up to your building. When he kissed you, your hand scratched at the shorter hairs at the nape of his neck. Eyes closed, you could smell him and feel him so much clearer. Perhaps when you were old together you wouldn’t have to worry about your sight giving out, you thought. Because you’d always know it was him by the way his skin on yours lit you up.

FUCK 🥲🫠💖

“That’s not a name that’s a fucking letter of the alphabet. Mama would smack the color of your cheeks if she heard you.”

I’M gonna smack the color off her cheeks — IMMEDIATE BAD VIBES

Your head fell. You could feel it coming. The gust of wind dragging the clouds slowly towards you. No, the storm wasn’t off course. It was just building momentum.

GOD 👏🏻 DAMN 👏🏻 IT

A Doe in Fall (Part 8)

⟢HumanAlastor x FemaleBurlesquerReader - A Doe in Fall

Part 1 - Pretty in Red smut💦 Part 2 - Liar smut💦 Part 3 - A Tragedy smut💦 Part 4 - Enough Part 5 - Too Much Part 6 - Learning smut💦 Part 7 - Recognition smut💦 Part 8 - Trust sexual 🥵 📍

Part 8 - Trust

Detective Brady is sharper than you initially thought, though Alastor is (seemingly) unfazed by the threat. While you both explore the idea of ‘home’ a familiar face shows up at your apartment.

「Warnings/Tags: Human Alastor x Fem Burlesquer reader, Detective Brady exists a lot and maybe too much, fingering lol, phone calls, almost our first fight, stress, Disney mom rule, Ruth is pretty alright for now, Brenda」

forgot to tag you in the deleted scene for TRDFAHS

M👻D☠️N👽I😈

Your mother always said ‘Anger is your sword and shield’. So you postured yourself as someone mad. One hip out, arms crossed, eyes narrowed.

“Sir I don’t appreciate a man in a lady’s space.”

Brady bit his tongue, wanting to say something sharp.

I don’t see any ladies here.

He met the glares of the women behind you. “Ah, well-,”

“Do you really expect her to leave in her robe?”

“Aren’t you the man whose been stalking her?”

“Autumn I’ll go with you.”

“You want her to get into a strange man’s car?”

He felt like a fox about to be pecked to death by the hens.

“Now-! Alright I’m seeing I maybe,” he set your shoes down and slid past you and between the other performers, “got a little eager to speak to you.”

“Does Janet know you like to hang around burlesquers?” Someone said as his back was turned.

Like having ice water poured over his head, his shoulders tensed as did his tone. “I’ll be right out the door.”

You tried to hide the tremble in your hands, but failed. Ruth slid beside you, “What do you need?”

A phone. But the cord wouldn’t reach that far. You wanted to tell Alastor. You needed him to know that detective had you cornered and knew of his existence.

She patted your back, the others filing in to continue with their work of getting dressed and undressed. You took your time, trying to plan what you would say.

Brady felt an embarrassed blush take hold as the women moved past him with scowls and tsks. He could feel a little bit of his sanity slip back now that you were in front of him.

“I have some questions about Tommy. I’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks. We can head down now.”

Oddly, your mother also taught you, ‘You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.’

She didn’t always make a lot of sense, contradicting herself daily.

Time to use the tried and true tactic, “I am sorry, detective. I had some trouble recently and have been keeping to myself… going home as soon as possible. Just trying to keep my nose clean. So to speak.”

Brady watched you look up at him with a face his daughter often gave him when she was in trouble. But you weren’t a child and you surely weren’t his daughter. “That’s no excuse to dodge me.”

Your turn to bite your tongue, “Of course, sir.”

Ruth was… confused. She’d never seen you so obedient. You had more venom in your voice after taking a hit from Tommy knowing a third could be close behind. Why were you being so small?

“Are you ready to go?” He fished in his pocket for his car door keys.

Ruth felt the need to interject, “She’s not going anywhere.”

Perfect.

You nodded, “I won’t be out at night, sir. You know better than most about the dangers.” Your dangers. Your darling Alastor.

“No, no no,” an unhinged chuckle from the fraying detective, “You’re not slipping away again. I have my car, I’ll take you there and bring you home.”

Ruth looked to you, then back to the detective, “Is she under arrest?”

Brady rolled his eyes, “Of course not.”

“Then? What gives you the right?”

Technically, nothing. He didn’t need to talk to you. His lead still stood. But maybe you’d slip and say something to expedite his search for the radio man. Maybe this would only end with Tommy. But he felt something tickling the back of his skull. An urge to not stop pushing.

“I’ll meet you at the station tomorrow morning. Is it the address on the card you gave me?” Maybe you would, maybe you wouldn’t. You just needed him gone so you could call Alastor.

He was shaking his notebook, key looped onto his finger. A nervous habit. “You still have my card?”

A smile, “Of course. In case any news came up. I’d have called but I didn’t realize you were so worked up.”

He scoffed. He wasn’t worked up. He was just annoyed. Maybe a little rougher in demeanor than usual but whose fault was that?

“If you don’t turn up tomorrow-,”

Ruth, taller than most women and some men and wide at the shoulders, leaned in.

Brady’s eyeline adjusted from yours to Ruth’s. Skye Scraper wasn’t just a pun, it was a cruel nickname she took ownership of. “Finish that sentence.”

The conversation ended there, Brady leaving with a huff.

You’d memorized the number the night Alastor gave it to you, too scared to write it down. He warned you though he wouldn’t be the one to answer.

“Is Alastor still there?” You tried to smile so you sounded less panicked. Ruth mouthed his name and pretended to swoon as you held the phone close to your ear.

“Uhh depends, who is this?” Brenda answered, a voice you’d never heard but a woman Alastor had primed you for.

“….”, but why hadn’t you thought through this part, what name was safe? Which was recognizable? You didn’t like the idea of this woman knowing your name. “Tell him it’s Autumn.”

“….”

You laughed at Ruth, waiting still for a reply from Brenda, “Hello?”

“Is this a crank? Autumn like the season? I-,” a commotion, “Hey there! No. I don’t know. Well it’s past hours anywa-.”

Alastor was lying across Brenda’s desk to reach the phone, having wrestled it from the woman’s grip, “I’m here. What’s wrong? I was about to leave.”

“I’ll walk home tonight.” It hurt, physically hurt, to say it.

Alastor tried to keep his face neutral, “Oh.” Nervous fingers twirling the cord, “One second.”

Harsh whispers, some clicks, and he was back, “I’m in my office. What happened?”

“Yeah Ruth is with me. It’s okay. I’ll call you like normal tomorrow?”

“Should I swing by your apartment?” He considered doing it regardless of your answer.

“Ah, no. I wouldn’t recommend it. I’ll be heading to the police station early tomorrow so I’ll be asleep as soon as I’m flat.” Putting your hand over the receiver, you spoke to Ruth, “Thank you, we got it figured out.”

His heart sank to his stomach, “Did he finally manage to catch you?”

“Yeah. Or—-,” your voice cracked a little, the fear rolling in as soon as Ruth walked away, “Yeah.”

“I’m coming over to the theater.”

Cupping the phone you curved your shoulders in and turned away from the staff milling about, “Don’t, that’s worse.” Tears stung your eyes. You felt like you’d failed him. You had somehow, hadn’t you? The loose thread Brady could grab ahold of was you.

“If you can’t come to the alley I’ll leave after a couple minutes. But I’ll be there in twenty, same time as our normal pick up.”

“Alastor, that’s reckless.”

“Please, dear, I don’t want our first fight to be over my work line.” A calming breath, “You don’t have to meet me, but I’ll be there. Just five minutes, then I’ll be off.”

You decided the safest thing to do was to wait in the alley. If you saw any signs of Brady or anyone coming out, you’d go back inside and just miss the meeting. But the idea of Alastor being just beyond the wall, waiting all alone, was too much.

But how much harder would it be if the wall was of the prison? Or worse, dense earth under your feet? That’s what Brady was wanting.

You hadn’t realized you’d been chewing your nails until his car turned down the alley from the back and you tore off much of the length of your thumbnail.

Your arms were thrown around him before he was fully out of the car, “Alastor, he knows I have a guy. He wanted me to go down right now but I managed to push it to tomorrow.” Alastor tried to decipher the words as you spoke them into his vest, “What do I do?”

Normally you’d have your own plans in mind but this was too big, this was capable of hurting him more than anyone else.

He smelled like ink and smoke, a scent you inhaled as you tried to calm your breath.

The reality of you standing in a dirty alley crying into the arms of a murderer set in. Then the little detail you were both killers creeped over your chest and took hold of your throat.

He was impressed at the strength of your hands as you gripped at his clothes. Leaning against the car, he offered you his most charming smile.

“Deep breaths, dear. Do I look scared?”

He didn’t. He looked like a magazine ad for French cologne or razor blades that left the softest skin.

“No.” You shook your head.

“No.” He nodded. “It’ll be okay. If you don’t go, he will hound you worse. If you do go, maybe he’ll realize he’s got a handful of nothing.”

His smile blinded you. Bright grin as he rested against his car, arms open.

“Do you really think so? A handful of nothing?”

“Did he say my name?”

“No.”

“Did he–” he elongated the word, lips pursed as he searched the sky for his next words, “have Tommy’s body?”

You laughed, morbid but preposterous, “I didn’t pat him down. Coulda.”

Alastor snapped his fingers, “We’ll have to just assume he didn’t.” A moment of tension. The act of joking barely traversing the space between your bodies let alone reaching the stress under your skin. His hands came to your shoulders; firm, secure. “Did you want to have that fight now? About me coming over here.”

You rolled your eyes, obviously not. “Ala-,” you started and stopped.

To which home, you wondered. He used the word so casually and interchangeably…

“I’ll call in the morning.” He said into your exhale.

You hadn’t opened your eyes yet. Not ready to return to earth. A pout from you. A chuckle from him. “I’ll be waiting,” You finally said.

While you did your waiting, shuffling around the theater and later tossing around in bed, Alastor fell into a different kind of purgatory.

One he hadn’t realized he’d made for himself until you weren’t there.

The house was quiet, almost eerie. Even with music on he found himself nearly uncomfortable. He shifted several times in his chair while reading, not finding any way to settle in.

His bed was lopsided. Suddenly one side was too light. Multiple times his hand slid under the sheets in search of you out of habit.

What a terrible feeling; to want someone. To know you could have them but they just… weren’t there.

It didn't make any sense. He knew he’d see you soon, in less than a day's time even. He typically enjoyed his home and its silence. Being alone was predictable and therefore comforting. Well, it had been. Before you.

The feeling in his chest, akin to a magnet tugging through his sternum toward a distant partner, didn’t abate.

Only when he heard your voice again over the phone did he find a sliver of peace.

“I’ve decided I’ll deny I have a guy. And, I’ll never tell him about you. It’s safer if he never connects us.”

Alastor was listening, honestly, but he wasn’t really processing. His mind was worried about something else. The detective genuinely didn’t bother him but he had to agree, “I suppose that’s best. As long as we can manage it, to not let him know we’re together.”

Together.

You were together with him. An item. How spectacular you must be to be a part of anything with him.

But for how long? With a certain detective breathing down your neck…, “I’m scared. Actually.”

You could hear the smile in Alastor’s breath, it was odd but eased you.

“He will never have enough to convict us. He’ll drive himself crazy trying. Trust me.” He soothed.

Did you have any choice? “Okay. You’re right. I trust you.” Unequivocally so.

He cleared his throat, “Sorry to change the subject…”

“Please.”

“I want you to come over again tonight. What do you think?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course, don’t even need to ask. I’ll always say yes.” All you needed to do was get through Brady and you’d be home.

Maybe you held a place for him even richer in its comforts than his solitude.

So he let himself drift away from familiar shores, no sails and no compass, “I think it’d be smart to bring over a couple sets of clothes. I can keep them washed and always here for you. Would that be alright?” He had wanted to suggest it while together, but Brady was ruining more than his sleep.

Oh.

The same silence from when he first extended the invitation, the deja vu not lost on you. You struggled to decipher the second meaning you were sure was there. Maybe he didn't know what he had asked.

He said it. He hadn’t really meant to, so he felt the need to clarify, but you also needed him to clarify just as quickly, “I -,”

“Did you me-?”

“Sorry, go ahead.”

“No I interrupted you-,”

“Not at all pl-,”

“Alastor for the love of God please don’t make me keep talking right now.” You lightly knocked your head with the phone a few times. Your heart was gasping for an ounce of understanding.

“Alabama?”

He looked at the phone as if you were in it. Alabama?

“Like— the first time you asked me over.” You added quickly. A terrible joke, a bad callback that made it painfully obvious you committed everything he said to memory.

“The best half of Texas is on our side so that’s a generous offer. But, given our work schedules, I think your house would be much better. Time wise.”

He let his eyes close as he felt the coldness of the wood, “Is that a yes then? To bringing over a couple of items… for ease.” Was it a mistake? Would he regret it?

You were worth regrets. He had decided. He wanted you to say yes.

The weight of what he was asking wasn’t lost on you an ounce. You could see your window from the phone booth. You took great pride in your little apartment. It was your space and no one else’s. As a child you struggled to have your own anything, so you valued your home.

But could you call any place so far from Alastor a home?

It’s just a few items. You weren’t giving up your lease. It’s a baby step. One you could easily walk back if you needed to later. It’s not like you hadn’t spent every night possible already since that first offer.

“Yes.”

It was a plan that took your mind off cops. Have your interrogation, go home, then go home for a relaxing evening of jazz and drink.

The levity ended though the second you hung up the receiver. An obstacle between you and him still stood. You pulled out your bag but couldn’t find the will to pack it. Your hands were too busy as you chewed on your thumbnail again.

Brady noticed the uneven length when you sat down and set your hands on the table.

“Surprised you showed.” He opened his notebook and readied his pencil. “First things first, what is your legal name?”

A chill. You’d gotten your warning the night before to prepare something to say but ignored it. Your mind was flipping through words and images. Piercing all of it were the white reflective eyes of the deer along the road. You decided to lean into what you knew.

“Autumn.”

“Really? Never heard the name Autumn before.”

“Me either. Made for an easy stage name.”

“I’ll need to see your birth records, just to be sure.”

You sucked your teeth. “Ah, unfortunately…all that stuff was left behind with my mom when I moved.”

“And where can I find her?

“Corner of North Villere street and Piety.”

“And your address?”

You paused. His eyes rose and met yours. The radiant aqua from the cafe morning was now an icy color. “I don’t give my address out. You know where I work.”

“But you’re fine giving me your mother’s address? That’s cold.”

“Not as cold as she is, I’m sure of that.”

“Fine, I’ll find it in the census records.” He flipped the page, “Tell me about the dates Tommy arranged.” He tapped his notepad on the table like it was the starting bell of a fight.

You wished Alastor was with you, but also wished he would never enter that station. “Apparently many of the dancers agreed, got a cut. I had no idea about it until he,” you remembered the man and his ugly tie, “introduced me to a man who was very forward. I insulted him and ran off. Lost Tommy good money, apparently.”

“And who was that?”

You searched your memory, “S something. Mister Stein? I honestly wasn’t listening much after I realized what was happening.”

Brady nodded, “And then he knocked you around?”

You winced without meaning too, “Yeah. Got me good.”

Brady waited for you to continue talking, but you had learned this game. People know silence is uncomfortable and will use that against you. So you let the silence stay. Let the awkward tension build. You had limited time, he knew that.

He caved first. “And… the next date. Last time anyone saw Tommy. Tell me about that.”

“Tommy said he’d kill me if I didn’t go. So I did. Promised me he’d stay with me for protection.” Tears welled. Bloody hands and a large rock. “But as soon as he got his money he left.”

Brady was writing, “And the man? What was his name.”

“Something foreign. Kerr-something. Or Car?”

He looked up slightly, “You’re pretty terrible at names.”

You wiped away your tears, “I had more pressing concerns at the time than trying to remember that man’s name. I was hoping I’d never need to know it.”

Brady hummed, “Yeah. And what did your beau think of this?”

Did you hide it? The flash of panic that rolled under the flesh of your face, “If I had a beau Tommy wouldn’t have made me do that. He said that himself.”

“Too bad he’s not here to confirm.”

“If he was we wouldn’t be having this conversation, detective.”

“Touché. Clever little lady aren’t you?”

Fuck.

You shifted slightly in your seat, looking downward in an attempt at being bashful. “That’s kind to say.”

“So why did,” he flipped through his book, “Beth say you stopped singin’ on Sundays cuz of your radio boyfriend?”

“Well now you’re lying and I don’t appreciate it one ounce ma’am.“

“What?”

“Beth says he’s been coming to your shows for nearly half a year.”

No acting necessary for this part. “What are you talking about? I met him at a club. We arranged a date and he picked me up at—“

“Beth’s dive.”

“…. Yeah. Well.” He’d been there before? So often? And you never noticed…, “That’s news to me, that he had been there for so long, it’s got its regulars though so...” You shifted again, this time with a clear uncomfortable edge.

“He stopped coming when you stopped singing.”

“….guess he got what he wanted then. A fun time in the swing hall bathroom.” Anger. Unreal and unfounded. Trying your best to hide how confused you were.

“Sounds like a stalker, miss. Maybe one who woulda been quite unhappy to hear you were selli-,”

You cut him off, eyes snapping up to meet his, “I really recommend you reconsider your wording.”

Brady laughed with a huff, “A man dizzy with a dame can do some funny stuff. Especially if he hears she’s in a pickle.”

“Well, no knight coming to rescue me. I’ve sworn off men. It’s why I’ve been leaving work early. Getting home, reading, sleeping. He really did a number on my heart and my pride as a woman.”

Brady’s pencil stopped moving.

“And his name?”

You’d never fucking say it. He could walk in on you moaning ‘Alastor’ and you’d still act like you’d never heard that string of syllables in your life.

“John.”

Brady laughed and tossed the pencil to the table, “Let me guess, last name Doe?”

You shrugged, “We weren’t on a full name basis. He was handsome, he took me out, we fucked, I never saw him again” You delighted in the way his face screwed up at your unladylike language.

“So, someone in radio named John. You know I’m going to be at every broadcaster talking to every John, right?” The nervous shaking of his notebook again.

“When you find him let me know.”

“Oh I will.” He said it so quickly, so sharply you could feel it cut at your cheek as the words flew past you.

You pulled your hands into your lap, eyes firmly locked on Brady’s. “You look tired, sir. I hope my answers will help you. So you can rest.”

“I am tired. Of people jerking me around. You won’t give me your address, you don’t remember anyone’s name, not even your own, and you deny having a man I know you have.”

If you screamed would he have you committed? “I’m terribly sorry,” you leaned over the table and pulled a piece of fuzz off his shoulder, “my friend gave you inaccurate and dated information. I am genuinely trying to help as much as I can.”

Sympathy? Your smile was too wide, stare gone too soft. What sympathy did he have or would anyone have for you? Did he think you wanted the tender hearts of strangers? “Tommy ran off with a bag of money. He was a good man with a bad habit. That’s all I know. I have no partner, man or otherwise.”

A standstill.

Brady felt a twitch in his hands he wasn’t used to. An itch to move. Unlike him, and a little frightening.

Maybe he had been running himself ragged.

Back sliding down slightly in his chair, he laced his fingers and rested them in his lap, “You know I’m gonna find out what happened, right?” His tone had shifted to something serious and calm. He said it like he was telling you a secret. Low but firm. Steady and sure.

Those eyes. No, worse. What was behind them. You could see it clearly; unflappable determination. He absolutely would.

“I trust you will.” A moment of silence again as you both felt the conversation die. As you stood, Brady did too.

“I wasn’t bluffing about him going to Beth’s for more than half a year now. I don’t know how you think this is gonna end but it won’t end pretty. Whether it was just your boss or all the others on my desk, end it with him and help us bring Tommy home to his mother.”

You adjusted your purse on your shoulder, “I don’t know how many time-,”

A laugh bubbled up in your chest but you managed to stifle it. With an honest smile you replied, “We’re all gonna end up dead someday, Detective. I’ll call if I have any news. Thanks for your concern and … evident hard work.” You offered a little nod of your head before leaving the room and the station as quickly as you could without running.

When he set down his notebook after returning to his desk, he couldn’t sit. Energy was buzzing in his limbs. He needed to run or swing or pace.

His desk neighbor watched him immediately pick up the notebook again and grab his hat. A few other men shared a glance as Brady rushed out, an unsettling feeling passed among them.

“He’s still on that case?” One asked quietly, going back to his papers.

“Not officially….” Answered Freeman, standing at the window and watching Brady flag down a taxi.

“North Villere street and Piety, please.” He told the driver, not noticing his friend in the window.

It wasn’t near the station, nor the dance scene. He wondered if your mother would be any more amiable. What kind of woman would raise such a creature as you?

When the car slowed, Brady clicked back into his surroundings. He looked through every window hoping to see something different.

After a long pause the cabbie asked, “Ya gonna get out?”

His knuckles turned white as he gripped the edge of the seat. “No. Take me back to the station.”

His blood pressure rose so quickly he was sure he would black out as the cab turned around and drove back past the sign; Vincent DePaul cemetery.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“What if he gets one?”

“Not one of mine, I can assure you. He’d sooner need to kill someone himself and call it my fault.” A pause, was that something the detective would do? He shook off the thought.

He was so confident that even though you knew it was just skin deep it still gave you a sense of calm. The bodies, where they went after he was done with them in the greenhouse, was the last step he hadn’t shared with you.

There was one thing you didn’t mention about the interrogation.

You waited until you were a few drinks in, Alastor’s bowtie off and shirt unbuttoned several buttons before bringing it up. Uncharacteristically nervous about how he’d react when you broached the topic, you needed several deep breaths to get up your courage. Normally the idea of offending a man with an honest question wouldn’t ruffle you a bit, but once again there was nothing normal about you and Alastor. He made you so unlike yourself but not necessarily worse. Perhaps some consideration of other’s reactions wasn’t a bad thing.

“This is awkward to ask.” It was dark already, the sun setting earlier and earlier. The buzz of the kitchen light could be heard through the screen door, the light just enough to let you see each other's features clearly. Leaning back on both hands for support, your legs rested in an unladylike spread down the porch stairs. No shoes. No girdle. No pretense.

Would he be mad? Or maybe offended?

“Brady said you had been going to my Sunday shows for awhile. Months before we actually met. Did you really meet me by coincidence?”

“Or was I stalking you as my next victim?” His head fell to the side, eyes closed and smile wide. “I saw you there, yes. And though you weren’t the best singer, I did enjoy your shows.”

You tried to see him without directly turning your head.

“But yes, it was a coincidence. I had noticed that brute of a man a couple weeks in a row, staring at you so intensely. Word got around he had made a scene some time ago with a dancer.”

You listened like someone was telling you your own story. It was an odd feeling, hearing someone recount your days from a different perspective. An unknown one.

“I was surprised to see you at the theater when I followed him there. Even more so to see you in the alleyway.”

If he had said it wasn’t a coincidence, you genuinely didn’t know what you’d have done. You’d be scared and angry. Another predator lurking just past the tree lines.

“Yeah. He gives me a bad feeling. Like…a brick wall barreling toward me.” You kicked a leaf off the steps, “Or like, when you see a big dark cloud on the horizon. Can’t do anything but wait and hunker down.”

How do you wait out a storm so set on burying you?

“Dear,” his hands rose and palms flipped up in a way that said he wasn’t hiding anything, “We get hurricanes annually. We’ve survived every one thus far. He’s just a drip. A sprinkle of a man.”

People have drowned on land before. A sprinkle could lead to pneumonia and that could lead to a wooden box.

He tried to change the topic, laughing about Brenda’s reaction to the call and making plans for an evening out when things settled down again. You listened, but it was your turn to be half there.

You could barely muster concern when you realized you’d forgotten your makeup and hair wrap at home when you were preparing for bed. What you would give for going home barefaced with a ruined hairdo to be the biggest stress of your week.

The distance in your stare was weighing down his joy, how could he relish in the newest addition to his home when you were so burdened? Even in the moonless night he could see the faintest light reflecting off your eyes as you stared at the ceiling. Did you even feel his stare?

He couldn’t let Brady poison his bed, and the man was clearly there now. Chasing you in your mind still.

“Could I offer you a distraction?” Alastor slipped up against you, hand finding your hip. He could see your smile forming.

“I wouldn’t argue against a distraction…,” you’d beg for one if you didn’t want to feel any lower than you already did.

“Perfect. This bed isn’t made for three, so let’s eject that little nag, dear.” His hands slipped down your legs, “I want to replace your thoughts with better ones.” He pulled you to him, your back pressed into his broad chest. The way his soft hands smoothed over your silk slip felt like foreplay, so smooth and slick. Frictionless and gentle. Those same hands ran down and between your legs, following the line of your thighs until they found your center. “It seems you forgot something else.” Two fingers caressed your lower lips, barely parting them, “Not that I’m complaining…,” his lips found the back of your neck as his fingers rubbed gently at your core.

It took so very little to get your body on board, wet and relaxed for his practiced hand. Your own fingers coming down to rub at your clit quickly when you felt your pleasure winding up.

He sighed directly into the shell of your ear, hands working in tandem with yours under the covers. His back pressed against you, hips rolling into your backside in time with his fingers.

“What are you thinking about?” Barely above a whisper as he said it into your heated skin.

“Fingers.”

“Whose?” His voice was deeper than his usual speaking tone. A tenor that made you clench around him.

“Yours.”

When the weekend came, Alastor offered again to take you out. A promise to take you somewhere no detectives would be hiding about. A week without a peep, you were sure he had followed up with your mother and was probably steaming to get at you. But, for some reason or another, he hadn’t appeared again in the crowd of your shows.

A week of going into work unmade and unkempt, you finally gave in and asked to be taken to your apartment early Friday. You’d grab a few items you needed, take them to work, and be back home that night.

“Pack something you’d like to wear out tomorrow night.” He reminded you before you pulled yourself from the car and waved him off. You lingered for a moment as he drove away, wondering if maybe the storm had been pushed off course.

“Oooh, who is he?”

Whipping around, you saw a familiar face sitting on the stoop of your building. An unwelcome one, though.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Mavis?” Your bag fell from your hands as the strength drained from your limbs.

She patted the dust off her dress before bouncing down the steps. “The names Ephi now.” A half sister, though perhaps a quarter sister would be best to describe the often absentminded, when not literally absent, sibling.

“That’s not a name that’s a fucking letter of the alphabet. Mama would smack the color of your cheeks if she heard you.” You were sure you’d not see her ever again, not after she ran off to head north before your mother passed. She scowled, arms crossed as you brushed past her. “I don’t have any money so you wasted a trip. See ya in another decade.”

Ephi grinned up at you as you climbed the stairs, “Looked like he had some money. Mr. Big Shot and his shiny bus.”

“Lotsa people have cars.” Your eyes landed on the suitcase poorly hidden behind the steps. Hand halting its search for the building key as you could feel the stare of your mother looking…down? A weight slipping over your shoulders like a man’s heavy winter coat.

“Well I don’t need money or cars. I need a place to crash.”

Your head fell. You could feel it coming. The gust of wind dragging the clouds slowly towards you. No, the storm wasn’t off course. It was just building momentum.

˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog , @poinappel l , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima a , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @rubyninja1 , @simphornies

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#ANYONE ELSE BEEN WORRIED SINCE PART TWO? NO? JUST ME??#alastor x reader #x reader #hazbin hotel fan fiction #article by mink

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frontproofmedia · 4 years ago

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Josh Taylor Defeats Jose Ramirez To Become The Undisputed Junior Welterweight Champion

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Published: May 22, 2021

LAS VEGAS — Scotland has a new undisputed champion. Josh "The Tartan Tornado" Taylor outlasted Jose Ramirez in an instant classic, notching a unanimous decision (114-112 3x) to capture the junior welterweight title. With the win, Taylor becomes the sixth male undisputed champion of the four-belt era, and the first from Scotland to do so. Ramirez, who had been world champion since March 2018, invested in the body in the early going, but Taylor (18-0, 13 KOs) was equal to the task in the trenches. The tide turned in the sixth round when Taylor nailed Ramirez with a straight left hand as Ramirez lunged forward. In the seventh, an uppercut planted Ramirez to the canvas. Ramirez (26-1, 17 KOs) nearly dug himself out of the hole, sweeping the last four rounds on one scorecard and winning three of the last four on the other two. Taylor said, “I’m ecstatic. I’ve trained my whole life for this. I’ve dedicated my whole life for this moment. I’ve dreamt of it so many times over, man. I’m so, so happy. I’m over the moon. I’ve trained for this moment all my life. “I’ve got nothing but love for Ramirez. This week was no disrespect. It was all part of the mind games to get in his head, to make him more eager to jump in at me and be more aggressive, to use his aggression against him. “I thought the scorecards were a little tight. I thought they were well wider than that. I wasn’t too happy with the selection of the judges, but I wasn’t going to moan. I was confident in winning this fight anyway.” Ramirez said, "He took advantage of some of those clinches but, hey, I got back up and tried to give it my best and stay smart. I was never hurt. I was aware. I was just disappointed every time it happened. I tried to shake it off and get back to my rhythm. But it was overall a good fight. Hopefully, I get back and I learn from my mistakes. You win some and you lose some. "I felt like I landed some clean shots. It came down to the clinches. He would let his hands go as soon as he got his chance and I think I left it to the referee to do his part and it was a lack of experience on my part." Zepeda Decisions Lundy It wasn't a vintage "Chon" performance, but Jose Zepeda did what needed to be done. Zepeda, in his first bout since his Fight of the Year victory over Ivan Baranchyk, won a one-sided unanimous decision over former world title challenger "Hammerin" Hank Lundy. All three judges scored the fight 98-92 for Zepeda (34-2, 26 KOs), who is the WBC No. 1 contender at 140 pounds. Lundy (31-9-1, 14 KOs) saw his two-bout winning streak come to an end. Sims Shocks Elvis Kenneth "Bossman" Sims Jr. was once one of America's top amateur talents, but a pair of professional losses stunted his momentum. Well, Sims (16-2-1, 5 KOs) is a contender now, as he shocked top prospect Elvis Rodriguez (11-1-1, 10 KOs) via an eight-round majority decision by scores of 76-76 and 78-74 2x. Sims dominated the second half of the fight, winning the last four rounds on two of the judges' cards to clinch the win. Sims remarked, "I got a baby on the way, so that's all the extra motivation I needed." Featherweight: Jose Enrique Vivas (21-1, 11 KOs) UD 8 Louie Coria (12-5, 7KOs). Scores: 75-74 3x. What's an evening of boxing without a little controversy? Coria knocked down Vivas twice in the third round, and Vivas had a point deducted for low blows in the fourth. Vivas rallied in the second half of the fight, winning the last four rounds, according to two of the judges. The hard-luck Coria has now lost his last three bouts, all via controversial decision. Vivas outlanded Coria 239-209. Junior Lightweight: Andres Cortes (14-0, 10 KOs) UD 8 Eduardo Garza (15-4-1, 8 KOs). Scores: 79-73, 78-74 and 77-75. Las Vegas native Cortes swept the first three rounds and never looked back, outlasting Mexican veteran Garza over eight rounds. Featherweight: Robeisy Ramirez (7-1, 4 KOs) UD 6 Ryan Allen (10-5-1 5 KOs). Scores: 60-53 2x and 59-54. Two-time Cuban Olympic gold medalist Ramirez won his seventh consecutive bout, dropping Allen in the second round and cruising to the points victory. Allen provided some resistance and won the fourth round on one of the judges' cards. Lightweight: Raymond Muratalla (12-0, 10 KOs) TKO 5 Jose Gallegos (20-11, 15 KOs), 1:40. "Danger" Muratalla lived up to his nickname, pounding Gallegos to the body until the veteran had seen enough. This marked only the third stoppage defeat of Gallegos' career, while Muratalla notched his seventh straight knockout victory. Middleweight: Javier Martinez (4-0, 2 KOs) KO 4 Calvin Metcalf (10-6-1, 3 KOs), 1:33. Martinez opened the show with some thunder, knocking out Metcalf with a right hook in the center of the ring. Metcalf's legs were rubber, and the referee didn't bother to finish the count.

(Featured Photo: Mikey Williams/Top Rank via Getty Images)

#HF #Jose Ramirez #Josh Taylor #Top Rank Boxing #ESPN

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allisimp · 4 years ago

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02.11.2021

牛年快樂

mom actually apologized today. she screamed at me and completely overreacted over eggs. i stayed as calm as i could but still ended up yelling over her because she doesnt understand how volume works. my voice is a bit sore now. i wasnt disrespectful, just questioned her reaction. i said sorry and asked her to apologize for screaming, and she did, although she was obviously still upset. it wasnt until i was still crying five minutes later that she said “好了妹妹你不用哭，i’m sorry”. i wish i could hide my emotions and control my tears but i guess this time it helped her see the consequences of her reaction. dad said i did a good job sticking up to her. brandon subtly asked if i was okay. i nodded and he patted me on the back. later i told him what happened and he said “sorry you have to go through that / sorry she does that to you”. i was tense at dinner at first but gradually loosened up and had a good meal.

the tears came right back though. grandma’s 紅包 says “牛年快樂，健康，平安”. i started bawling once i read it in my room. she would be so heartbroken if she knew how unhappy i am. i kind of wish i could open up to her. i wonder what she would say to me. probably chastise me for being lazy or get mad at mom and dad. thinking about how one day ill have to mourn 阿公阿嬤’s deaths makes me so sad. i want to spend more time with them :( i have so much time but i waste it doing nothing. im grateful to be able to experience my grandparents love. why am i so sad to receive it?

alice and i called tonight. stupidly i brought up how i messaged kenneth and the conversation snowballed and i couldnt stop crying. embarrassing but im so grateful for her. i hope she didnt judge me for it. we talked about me and teddy, and she questioned why we are still together after everything i told her. its a good question. i didnt know how to answer.

its now 2 am and im still in a sad mood and cant stop crying. happy new year

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naizamayg · 7 years ago

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forty-eight letters to the moon

Some say if you live in outer space you don’t grow old as fast as people do on earth. That’s why I want to send these letters to the moon, so these words, these feelings and these memories would hopefully last longer than our time on earth. Dear Joshua, thank you for being the most responsible/most concerned student in our class. We sometimes tease you about it but we actually really admire that about you. Not everyone can speak up for what’s right, not everyone is as brave as you. Dear Cj, you’ve changed a lot but I’m not saying it in a negative way. We all change and that’s just normal. You changed in some negative ways but in positive ways also. You still get mad easily (to others) but atleast you don’t get mad at me that easily now hahaha, but that’s who you are. That made you the CJ in our room. Hope to see that scowl on your face gone the next time we see each other in years time. I hope you find your peace within. Dear Kenneth, You’re probably one of the most creative person i’ve met. You can make anything from scrap into art. You make wonderful stories and films that is not just a classroom pride but a school wide pride. You make a lot of us laugh in a daily basis, though sometimes you go overboard but I’m cool with it since I’m not easily offended but remember, it might affect others. I don’t know anything about you besides this joke-generating-out-of-the-box-minded person you are. Someday I wish to know about who you really are because ik everyone is more than what they show in class. Dear Ronnie, The ever late secretary hahaha just kidding. You have an incredible way to express words you read and I was amazed by our readers’ theatre performance on how you stole the spotlight. You should try and apply as a radio broadcaster in your school next year and join orations or declamations. Don’t be afraid of the thought of losing or no one supporting you. I would always be there somewhere in the crowd cheering for you. Dear Laurence, You have a reputation of having cold heart in our room. IDK if this is just a front or this is just really you but sometimes in rare occasions I can feel that your heart warms up. That sometimes you laugh too hard, smile too wide and give too much and I notice it and I think that’s the better version of Laurence that everyone might not see but I see it and I hope you try and show that to other people more often. Dear Aaron, I’m not gonna live happily if I dont get this out of my chest, Aaron sorry. Talking about you behind your back, not believing some words you say and just being rude to you. You probably noticed by now, you’re a smart observer anyway but I also want to say that some of us think you’re sometimes too arrogant they’re not wrong tho but sometimes you are someone who is nice to talk to especially relating to anime we have some bad sides in us and you can’t help that people would think and talk about your bad sides and ik it sounds ugly but it’s the truth again I’m sorry if I ever hurt you in some way bc ik you have never hurt me. Dear Freidrich, The only thing that pops up in my head is LASHES. I lowkey wanna steal them lol. Anyway, you’re a really good and smart person I still can’t believe you perfected the individual quiz bee during high school day. Isa kang tunay na #nofear. Dear Karlos, I remember you as the quiet smart boy in the class back in elementary and you still are. I hope you speak up sometimes bc ik you have a lot of ideas and stories to tell but maybe I’m just not there in times you do tell them. You’re sometimes made fun of in your group of friends and not gonna lie, I sometimes laugh with them but idk if you get hurt when they do or not but if you do I’m sorry and I hope you tell them when they say too much and that you feel suffocated if they do that. Dear Daryll, You are such a comfortable person to be with that’s probably bc you’re a Sagittarius. You always smile when people get mad at you and I find that very funny yet admirable how can you be so strong to not even lose your smile when people downgrade you. I hope to see that smile again it’s such a refreshing image and I hope you never let anyone make you falter that smile. Dear Harvey, I wrote this after the mapeh periodic test and after knowing my results in research and idk why in those moments you were there??? Idk but yeah I didn’t review anything about mapeh but you helped me and when I was upset (even tho i was smiling shonga ko) bc of my grade in research you were brave enough to tell me you have a lower grade than me idk if it was to comfort me but thank you. Dear Emil, you are probably the most “friendly” person I have met but I’m not bothered of how touchy you get bc I honestly don’t care hahahaha. But it just shows that you’re a comfortable, nice companion. Dear Ryan, I honestly don’t know what to write to feel or to say or what kind of friendship we have. We fight about the most nonsensical things but also don’t hate each other. Sorry if sometimes I joke too much to the point (if ever) that i hurt you. It’s not intentional I promise. It’s just probably bc we have a clashing immature personalities. Dear Jonard, I only knew you for a year but I felt really close to you we both like haikyuu and volleyball so ig it wasn’t hard to approach you and you being my table mate was a plus. I miss being your table mate btw but it’s your decision to sit wherever you want hahaha. Dear johnroe, keep writing and writing you’re amazing really you’ve proven that writing is a form of art and I admire that just do what you love and surround yourself with positivity. Dear felmar, you are so talented, smart and kind you have a big heart and an open mind and thank you for being you. We need more people like you in the class to avoid fights and misunderstandings you’re really the Mr. President of the anti-bullying club Dear Whesley, you have a short temper probably shorter than me (get it?) And a selfish attitude (sometimes) but even tho you’re not the kindest person, I don’t think you deserve to be disrespected to the point of not cheking your papers on tests but I hope you don’t plot revenges. It would only grow hatred on you. Try to be nicer and thank you for teaching me how to play chess hahaha. Dear Timi, sometimes you’re too impractical and it ruins you but you have a good heart who desires to help others and I think that’s enough thank you for taking care of us Mr. President. Dear Yran, I was once a crybaby (still think I am even tho I rarely cry) but I know how wonderful it feels after crying after letting it all out and I just want to say just be a cry baby all you want. Don’t listen to what other people tell you or to what they will think about you. Let yourself cry let yourself feel, let yourself be human. Dear Darylle, you are 1/3 of a whole I admire your friendship with Precious and Karen and I seriously hope you guys won’t drift apart because in my perspective you guys are genuinely happy together. Dear Kryssha, I hope to be with you in a BTS concert someday hahaha. You’ll met them soon and you’re a really good dancer. You should try and show it more and don’t be shy. Dear Judee, you’re quite confusing but I like being confused anyway. Hehe idk you have this feel of weirdness that I actually think it’s normal bc you’re Judee. Though you’re sometimes shallow, I know you have a very deep mind and have great ideas. Dear Janae, I dont know how it ended and how we pretend it never happened but all I know is that thank you and sorry because I couldn’t be there when I know you would’ve been for me. Dear Buena, I’m still thankful for your blog and will always am it’s nice to know how other people see me hahaha. I want to hear you sing more and have more confidence. You’re unique in your own way. I just realized (bc of laurence’s blog) that you really have the same expression to everything hahaha. Dear Angelica, You’re so modest and nice i don’t know a lot about you but i hope you keep your smile always and penge naman height:(( Dear Karen, you are a 1/3 of a whole and a beautiful morena. Embrace your beauty and always keep your head up. Stay as a happy person with precious and darylle. Dear Julia, thank you for teaching me how to dance bboom bboom hahaha. You’re also a great dancer and have confidence also keep smiling with your cute pangil. Dear angelica, an innocent soul with a contagious laugh I don’t know your story. I don’t know your deepest secrets but i know you have them bc I was once you I still am someone waiting for life’s trick to break me down to pieces. Dear salve, look at the stars tonight, breathe in, breathe out. Watch some kdramas. Dream about something, anything. Imagine a life where happiness is limitless. You are so strong for holding on for this long and I want you to be stronger. I need you to be stronger, because one day you’ll look at the stars again, you’ll breathe in and breathe out again, you’ll watch some kdramas again and dream about something, anything again, but you won’t imagine a life where happiness is limitless because you will live it. Dear christelle, i still remember when we used to be bffs and I was really happy being your friend back then but idk what happened we just ended things but ik we ended it in a good terms sometimes being with someone for too long is tiring and I’m sorry if I didn’t hold your hand longer. I’ll always remember you and Kim as my first bffs B! F! F! Hahaha I hope you still remember this chant we had. Dear Kristel, sorry if sometimes I’m too rude or if you feel I neglect you. I don’t hate you , I actually like you but whenever you approach me, I would either be in a bad mood or hungry hahahaha, so I kinda get annoyed at times but you still smile at me whenever I do and I feel really bad. I hope you reach your dreams of being a fashion designer and your love life would be prosperous (oyiiiiiii~~~) Dear jeanelle, you are probably the nicest person i’ve met. I know you have struggles and problems of your own but you always kept quiet about it so you won’t worry anyone but I hope you do tell about them because it��s bad to bottle it all inside. Thank you for being my seat (cheat) mate hahaha and sorry if I ever gave you a wrong answer in a test hahaha. Dear editha, a kind and strong heart you have. I like how you stand up for yourself and how you stand up for others thank you for being a reason for me to be stronger. I really want to have a heart like yours. Micah, I think you’re more chill than me. You go to school just when you feel like it but still have high grades isa kang #nofear pt.2 hahaha I hope you hold on salve’s hand a little bit longer she needs you and if you ever need someone i’ll always offer my hand. Nina, i know how it feels when you think you’re worth less than someone just because of your weight but I never thought that you were any less than anyone then and now. I admire your determination to lose weight but you’re beautiful in any form though your words come of harsh ik you just want the best for them but please keep in mind that karissa may have this reputation of being a strong kalog girl she’s also so fragile. Karissa, hey little sunshine. Hold up, okay? I know no one knows and that no one blinks an eye just because you aren’t showing it or you aren’t suffering as much to the pint of falling to this endless pit but it’s not like that you don’t have to be collapsing for people to notice and to give a hand. They should’ve come closer to hear what you’re saying not for you to repeat and change what you said. Kath, I want you to be kath. I want you to not be compared to your brother. I know how hard it is to have a big brother. Parents will always think of them first and tbh who cares about what they think do things for yourself okay and loosen up a bit and smile more. Shany, you’re so hung up with this guy which I always tell you, he’s not good for you but maybe it’s your happiness waiting for him for so long to chat you back. That maybe he is your happiness so I’m sorry for being insensitive that time I just want to say to think of yourself first and to choose what would make you happier we’re still young there’s still so many faces to meet, hearts to connect and smiles to smile with. Kezia, i know how you want to change the way you look but I honestly think you look fine. I respect how you think about yourself but I just want you to know that whatever you look like it’s the best version of you. Ayra, you have this aura around you that makes me feel at ease. I just know that whatever I say you wouldn’t judge me and you know my kind of humor so I’m happy joking around with you. Thank you for everything. Precious, you are a 1/3 of a whole I find it so funny how you darylle and karen bicker hahaha. I hope you guys always stay together and I hope you will always have that smile in your face. Jemarie, I really like how you draw. You’re an amazing artist tho I’m sad that you wouldn’t pursue it in the future, being a doctor who saves lives is good too. Thank you for all the answers you shared hahaha Katreena, you are such a kind innocent soul that whenever I see you down or upset it makes me sad too. Thank you for opening up to me and telling me your problems that time. Thank you for trusting me enough to ask me what decision you would make and that is to be happy. I hope you’re finally happy and will always be. Joanna, thank you for making me look tall hahaha. Just kidding you’re so cute whenever you dress up and i find your fashion sense really good. Andrew, I have been your classmate for so long to know your capabilities. It is very clear that you are smart person and you never smile at pictures to make it seem like you’re not emotional at all. You’re the one who is most affected about our moving up and I know you are concerned about your weight too and it’s completely okay to feel these things. No one will judge you, but remember to still take care of yourself. Saka wag mo nang i-break si ABCD, kawawa naman. Dear sam, thank you really I’m so thankful for you. You were such a huge twist of fate for me. When I first sat beside you I thought you hated me because i got promoted. But then when you talked to me we just suddenly clicked and was transported to a world where only the two of us exist. You once told me I was a person who doesn’t stay and I know that because i never had a strong grip on anything and I’m a very clueless, insensitive, shallow-hearted person yet you’re the only one who saw it (and maybe abcd too) and thank you for knowing who the real me is. Sorry because i won’t stay and that it might look like i’ll just forget about it but I won’t, I promise so don’t be surprised when one day at 3 am I text/chat you about random things or about my dream last night. Dear grace, I’m sorry at times that I “bully” you just for a laugh, it seems as though you are unaffected which sometimes makes me have the urge to make fun of you sometimes. But you are probably one of the most self-conscious people I know, and whenever you are told that what you’re doing is negative, you stop doing the thing entirely. But thank you for still understanding me and supporting me and accompanying me when the Hi-Y club advisers asks me to go to the library. Sorry if you always do or give things to me but I would sometimes not reciprocate it. Sorry for being the receiving end. I’m so thankful to you. You’re a part of who I am right now and who I will be. I hope someday we’ll be both able to sleep with peace, knowing our moms are sleeping and will wake up tomorrow and if things wont go in our way, I’ll always be there okay? and I hope you are too because I would really need you if it does happen. ps. One day, i’ll pay you back for all my utangs, kahit nasa ULST na ako at may chance akong tumakas. Dear Abcd, Thank you for everything. You will always be the first one i’ll talk to whenever I find something funny. You’ve influenced me so much. I became matured, more responsible and idk if you know this but I stopped crying because of you. I’m not saying it in a negative way hahaha what I mean is you made me stronger and unconsciously gave me a rope to help me climb. You didn’t gave me your hand because you wanted me to do it myself, because that’s the most important thing in everything. Always do things yourself for yourself. You taught me this so now that you’re the one who is drowning I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m always this clueless whenever it’s not about me. But please promise me, please promise yourself that you’ll swim as hard as the currents hit you and you’ll someday meet me in the shore. We all don’t know what we want or what to do don’t pressure yourself. We’re all as confused as you. Let’s all be lost while we are young. ps. Be happy :) Dear Naiza, I hope you would stop being so difficult and stop being so half hearted to everything. To studies, to your friends, to your family and to yourself. You don’t like to admit it but you’re so selfish and sometimes insensitive. You only show this version of you that would look great. The version of you who is always happy, who doesn’t have any problems. You even cover up your problems by saying positive things about your life. You’re the biggest liar I know. I wish you would also stop getting annoyed easily and being too dependent. Stop acting like you care when you honestly don’t, but you know you have to care because you have to be a good person right? but you’re not. It’s really scary how different you are from school, at home, at the internet or at your bed during 3 am. At school you’re this out going person, at home you’re this ignorant person who doesn’t know what her family feels, at the internet you’re so bitchy and rude, at 3 am you’re the most vulnerable person anyone can be. Someday I hope you find who you really are because i’m done with you lying.

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disappointingyet · 7 years ago

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This is a list of my favourite films of the year. That sounds like a simple statement, but in some quarters the long-running arguments about what is and isn’t a film got very heated in 2017. Even the year bit of that can get very messy.

But for at least this one last time, I’m keeping things simple: these are the films I enjoyed most out of the ones that were released in UK cinemas in 2017.*

There were plenty of films I didn’t see: some I wanted to but didn’t get round to – Colossal is the one that stands out. Others I just wasn’t drawn to – Detroit, Dunkirk (give money to Christopher Nolan and he’ll only keep making movies) and the critically adored Call Me By Your Name (the super-annoying title probably didn’t help).

There were lots of movies I did see and like, though, and that’s what we’re here to talk about…

*This decision was made simpler because I didn’t love any of the films that Netflix streamed without even giving a token cinema release, which included Noah Baumbach’s The Meyerowitz Stories (New And Selected) and Sundance favourite I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore. The best of the bunch was The Incredible Jessica James.

1. Manchester By The Sea

Back in October 2016, I wrote: ‘If a better film is released in the UK in 2017, I’ll be very impressed.’ Well, I have been impressed by the excellent movies below on this list, but none of them beat Manchester By The Sea as far as I’m concerned. In outline, it sounds like nothing special: a story of some grim stuff happening to a fairly ordinary family, in particular a bloke who likes to pick fights in bars and his teenage nephew. But writer-director Kenneth Lonergan turns the ingredients for a predictable drama into something very special, not least by lacing this grief-laden story with lots of (appropriately) funny moments.

Full review here

2. The Handmaiden

A lot of the films on this list are fairly light on plot, so if you want a movie with scheming, counter-scheming and deception, not to mention pretty costumes, sex, cherry blossoms, perviness (its 18 certificate is richly earned) plus differing Korean views of their Japanese occupiers, this is the one. It’s directed by Park Chan-wook, best known for Old Boy, and loosely based on Sarah Waters’ Victorian-set melodrama Fingersmith, which turns out to be perfectly suited to Korea in the 1930s.

Full review here

3. Certain Women

Resolutely low-key collection of three slightly overlapping short stories set in wintery Montana. It’s a character piece, with Laura Dern, Michelle Williams and (the excellent, previously little-known) Lily Gladstone leading each segment. Director Kelly Reichardt knows exactly who these women are, and how the place they live shapes them. It seems modest at first, but it stuck in my mind long after flashier films had faded away.

Full review here

4. Moonlight

So much of what I read about Moonlight made it sound so much less interesting than it is. Around awards time, you could have easily formed the impression it was a heart-tugging issue movie, not helped by the campaign to get Naomi Harris an Oscar (‘Look! Pretty woman getting grubby to play junkie skank!’)**

What makes it a remarkable film – and it is a remarkable film – are the extraordinary cinematography and the telling of the story via often fragmentary scenes, and how little is explained, at least until the much more conventional, even theatrical (and thus slightly disappointing) final segment. Great moviemaking is about the how, not the what.

Full review here

**The classic awards-season tendency to grade performances by perceived difficulty points led to people talking about Harris rather than the way better Janelle Monae.

5. The Happiest Day In The Life Of Olli Mäki

Lovely, bittersweet based-on-real-life tale of Mäki, a small man who was Finnish boxing’s big hope in the early 1960s. It’s not really a boxing film, more a story about two decent young people trying to work out what they want. Which probably doesn’t sound like the most gripping core of a film, but it works. My favourite Finnish film of the year, narrowly shading…

Full review here

6. The Other Side Of Hope

Why should social realism be the only way of looking at problems like the refugee crisis? Aki Kaurismäki brings his taste for dramatic lighting, deadpan acting and vintage rock’n’roll to this story of a young Syrian braving bureaucracy and street racism in Helsinki. Less funny than most Kaurismäki films, but I found it very moving.

Full review here

7. Spider-Man: Homecoming

I’ve had enough of super heroes on screen – Marvel’s The Defenders on Netflix was the last straw. I’m voting for a moratorium on them*** and gangsters. So it took a lot to persuade me to see yet another Spider-Man reboot. ‘Don’t think of it as an action movie, think of it as a high-school comedy,’ said my friend Jess, and she was right. It’s nimble and funny and doesn’t take itself too seriously – the best surprise of the year.

Full review here

***I’m totally prepared to believe that Thor: Ragnarok is enjoyable in a bonkers, proggy kind of way, but I’m not risking it. Too many people insisted Captain America: Civil War was good.

8. The Death Of Stalin

After dealing with the (by comparison small) monsters of the Blair era in The Thick Of It, Armando Iannucci turns to the worst – by at least one measure – men in history: Beria, Molotov and Uncle Joe himself.

I don’t think by portraying the farcical nature of the days after Stalin’s death the film is disrespectful to all those who died. I think humour has always been part of how we confront the horror.

The Death Of Stalin has the best ensemble cast of the year – Jeffrey Tambor as Malenkov, Steve Buscemi as Khrushchev, Jason Isaacs giving the performance of his career as Marshal Zhukov, and – best of all – Simon Russell Beale as Beria. And, crucially, it’s definitely a film, not a bit of TV that has snuck on to the big screen.

9. Daphne

Essentially, a classic US indie movie transplanted from Brooklyn to Walworth. The title character is a pretentious and self-centred 30-year-old failing to get her life together – she’s just like women I used to meet at parties in south London 10 or 15 years ago. That could make for a dull film, of course, but the writing, the feel for the place and Emily Beecham as Daphne make it funny and involving.

Full review here

10. After The Storm

Once promising writer with a gambling problem becomes low-rent PI and uses his new skills to keep tabs on his ex. If you think you can imagine how this film goes from that description, you’re probably miles from Hirokazu Kore-eda’s typically patient, generous-spirited and occasionally funny family drama.

Full review here

11. A Ghost Story

Or that one with the white-sheet-with-eye-holes phantom. A Ghost Story is definitely a film you either buy into or you don’t, an austere tale about grief and loss. I did, and found it sad and moving and pleasingly different.

Full review here

12. Neruda

It’s a playful movie about a playful title character – the Chilean poet and dilettante politician during his dramatic time on the run from the authorities – but Neruda has a melancholy underlying mood that rises to the surface as the film goes on. It’s a smart, complex and entertaining film.

Full review here

13. The Florida Project

A group of small kids living in a low-rent long-stay motel have adventures and misbehave a bit. And that’s mostly it, with a few dips into the struggles of the mother of one of the kids, plus a sense of the endless patience and generosity of spirit of the motel manager (Willem Dafoe, the sole big name in the cast). What’s impressive is the way Sean Baker maintains a tone that manages to dodge both ‘look at what grindingly terrible lives poor folk lead’ and being a whimsical adorable-kids-running-wild picture. It does drag a little about three quarters of the way in, but the ending pulls it back.

14. La La Land

First it was an instant masterpiece that was going to change the game, then it was a deflating bubble as the haters managed to shout louder than the lovers. So which take on this nostalgia-soaked showbiz musical do I agree with? Well, there are problems with the film – mostly to do with director Damien Chazelle’s continuing attempts to foist his rotten ideology of music on the rest of us via his movies – but I think the people who were swooning were closer to the truth than the raspberry blowers.

Full review here

15. Lady Macbeth

Bracingly bleak and at times hard to watch, this is very much in the anti-heritage industry counter-tradition of British period dramas. It’s about the rebellion of a young woman against a grim arranged marriage in Victorian Yorkshire, a struggle that makes strange and grim turns. Unpleasant, but an impressive and memorable piece of filmmaking.

Full review here

16. Blade Of The Immortal

‘Blood-drenched’ would be an understatement when it comes to this gleefully violent supernatural samurai tale in which an almost unkillable ronin is hired by a young girl to revenge her father’s death. If it doesn’t match up to veteran director Takashi Miike’s kinetic 2010 masterpiece 13 Assassins, Blade Of The Immortal is still full of staggering set pieces. Not for the squeamish.

Full review here

17. I Am Not Your Negro

In a variant on the title of this blog, I’d describe this documentary as kind of unsatisfactory yet powerful. It’s got a curious premise: it’s an ‘adaptation’ of a book that was only vaguely started: James Baldwin’s look at the meaning of the lives and deaths of Medgar Evers, Malcolm X and Martin Luther King.

The result is a slightly rambling wander through what Baldwin wrote and said about black lives in America. The clips of Baldwin on TV and at the Oxford Union are electrifying. The chunks of his writing are beautifully read by Samuel L Jackson in a warm, wise deep oak-aged voice than sounds precisely nothing like either Samuel L Jackson or James Baldwin.

Dropped in around the place are news stills from the last couple of years by way of saying, ‘Yes, Obama made it to the presidency, but otherwise things are still fucked.’ That’s a bit clumsy and crude. What makes the film is Baldwin himself – a great writer (I’m still annoyed that someone nicked my copy of The Fire Next Time in 1991) but also a figure who confounds our condescension of past times: here was a black gay man who was an international public intellectual in the 1960s.

Best old films I saw on the big screen

Scarface

Not every rapper’s favourite movie – this is the terrific 1932 original, a ripped-from-the-headlines account of the rise of a ruthless Chicago gangster that’s as electrifyingly urgent as current organised-crime dramas are weary.

Full review here

Un Flic

Jean-Pierre Melville, whose career stretched from the 1940s to ’70s, made some of my favourite films ever – Bob Le Flambeur, Le Samurai, Army Of The Shadows – and the BFI showed all of them in a splendid full retrospective this autumn. Of the ones I’d never seen before, my favourite was Un Flic, his last film, a bleak, minimalist film in which a laconic, sadistic cop (Alain Delon) slowly gets on the trail of a heist crew. Moody, stylised and very cool.

Full review here

The Cobweb

Over the top, and unashamedly so, Vincente Minnelli’s undervalued mid-’50s melodrama is set in a psychiatric clinic, has a great cast and a plot in which the choice of a set of curtains causes all manner of scheming, bitching and betrayal.

Full review here

La Vérité

An uncharacteristically meaty role for Brigitte Bardot is at the centre of this courtroom drama from Henri-Georges Clouzot. BB plays a beatnik girl on trial for murder, but what made her do it and can a patriarchal justice system treat her fairly? I suspect this felt dated when it appeared in nouvelle vague-era Paris, but it seems pretty relevant now.

Full review here

Salesman

Extraordinary documentary about a group of travelling salesman doing their damnedest to flog absurdly overpriced Bibles to low income Catholics in a late 1960s US where the Age of Aquarius most definitely isn’t in effect.

Full review here

And DYB’s films of:

2016

2015

2014

2013

2012

2011

#films of 2017 #Films of the year #movies of 2017 #2017 #manchester by the sea

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steamishot · 5 years ago

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Some type of normalcy

today, my SIL’s bro came to hang out with us. he’s visiting from SF and it’s his first time being down here since my SIL and bro bought their house. along with my mom and grandma, we tried going to kenneth hahn park, which was closed (or at least the only main road leading into the park was closed off). we then tried going to baldwin hills scenic overlook- again, it was closed. since we were already on the westside, i decided to then take them to UCLA. we parked at ralphs and walked over to the botanical gardens. it was my SIL and her brother’s first time on campus.

my grandma has been so bored/restless being at home, and at the same time she is quite frightened of COVID. i was kinda disappointed by how easily she gave up today, because she barely made it into the garden to sit down, and ended up not seeing the rest of it. i felt confused because pre-COVID, she used to take like 30 min walks around our neighborhood/hiking trail daily. my grandma isn’t super old and is quite healthy physically, but she does hold herself back mentally. i compared her (late 70s) to matt’s grandma (late 80s), and i see how fear/anxiety doesn’t hold matt’s grandma back. as they say in running, your mentality is half the game. i imagine it to be similar with older folks and walking (but could be wrong). last time i hung out with matt’s family at venice canals, his grandma was able to keep up walking with us for like 30+ min.

one thing my family (mom’s side) does differently is that we tend to coddle. we are scared to overwork or overexert. we give in to emotions and not push harder. i’m conditioned to coddle old people, like my grandma. i always slow down for her, never let her carry anything. my mom now takes care of her like a child. in contrast, when i first saw how matt’s family treated his grandma, i thought it was disrespectful. like, when we went to go pick her up for the first time from her senior apartment, he stayed in the driver’s seat as she was coming towards the car. he let her open the door herself and get in the car herself, and lets her carry her bags herself. he said that old people have to maintain their independence or else they’ll just let themselves go. and i’m impressed by how independent/strong and calm his grandma is. when i saw her last in april, she said she would be content if she has 1-2 more years to live in such a tranquil manner. it takes a certain personality to not hand hold, and to sometimes give tough love. and i see there can be positive results because of that.

work: i can officially clock in overtime as of two weeks ago, an extra 5 hours/week. i’m not really working more than 8 hours a day, i just have to be more efficient with my time, and i don’t take my entire lunch break anymore. june/july are the main two months that my job stresses me (and my entire team) out. i have a 15 minute presentation over zoom on wednesday to discuss HR policies to incoming residents. in theory, doing it over zoom should be less intimidating, but i’m still nervous about public speaking. i probably have to do another presentation for the fellows, but i’m not as concerned for that as fellows are much more chilled out. my supervisor announced in our last meeting that even faculty will experience a salary freeze this year.

normalcy: as nice and restful this quarantine has been, i think i’m ready to return to some type of normalcy (being more social). though, i do really appreciate i can WFH until september lol. these 3 months have been good for me to really build the habits i find important but always found excuses for. i’m tweaking my routine as i go- til now, i’ve been running on the schedule of 4 days on, 1 day off. i’m thinking it may be better to not run as often so i can recover more. because of the heat, i’ve transitioned to running at night instead of before noon. this led me to start doing yoga in the day time, following yoga with adrienne. i forgot how good yoga makes me feel. it’s such a nice way to wake up the body mid work day. since it’s gotten hotter, i’ve also had less issues with sleeping. my body’s just more exhausted from the heat.

running: after resting two whole days from running, i was able to run almost completely at 6mph+ for the entire 30 min today. this would translate to being at around 10 min per mile (or faster). sadly, my apple watch wasn’t accurate in tracking this and made it appeared that i ran slower than i did. damnit, now i have the opposite problem of accuracy. that’s bullshit lol. i might have to start running outdoors again, but don’t prefer to because i don’t want to run with a mask on/be around people. we’ll see though.

relationship: i’m starting to feel really needy in my relationship. in the beginning of quarantine until like two months in, i was like “meh, don’t really need to see you. i’m good and enjoying myself in quarantine”, but now at three months, it’s like “i want youuuu”. this could be that because i haven’t had much social interaction at all these three months, and i’m seeking more companionship from the person who is ‘easily’ available and who i love the most. but i do remember with all our last LDR stretches, it starts to get really hard without seeing each other at about the 2 month mark, where we’re almost at now. and we don’t have concrete plans of seeing each other again yet. so as of now, there is no countdown. hopefully i’ll know soon once he has his schedule for his next academic year.

priorities: today was my first time dining in at a restaurant since quarantine happened - paper pot. this was also the last restaurant i ate at before restaurants shut down. i thought the experience would be more ‘novel’? but it was ordinary. even though i didn’t dine out for 3 months, it felt like i was just there a few weeks ago. the food was pretty bomb though. having the experience of now staying mostly at home for 3 months, helps me place my priorities in check. like, did i NEED to be spending all the time/money/energy i did in the past on eating out? i may have been better sitting my ass at home and working on myself/saving money LOL.

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wonderkid100 · 8 years ago

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It's been a while since I've bothered with what people link me to on Tumblr that trash talk me, plus I rarely use the Tumblr. But this one made me laugh. So here we go... Firstly, I've been to ONE ONNNNEEEEEEEEEE party with Tom because well I was invited for High Rise like you need a paper invite and name on guest list to pass London Film security for parties and if you look you can see I'm lucky enough to be invited to many of the LFF galas over the past four years :) Met him at the radio ONCE ONNCEEEEEEEE only because I was there for Ed Sheeran (my ultimate love man that ginger boy DAMN, if you think I left my house before 6am to go meet Tom at radio when I could've got a cheap ticket and met him easier for free at BFI, which I didn't do FYI, you are mad) which people just seem to skip over (unless that was Tom's only radio appearance everthen I guess you can say I attended all of them oops). NEVER went to his recent London Thor promo, never bothered going to his BFI radio times thing, Skull Island promo/premiere, evening standard awards etc etc. Actually never have I gone out and stood at a red carpet barrier waiting for him before, ya know. In fact, never really went out my way for him apart from stage door Coriolanus back when I saw the play. This past year I've seen man at Donmar for Saint Joan (never forget his cycle get up) and Garrick for The Entertainer (might've actually been last year that one but yo) during plays I was SEEING but I didn't even bother him and then admittedly at Hampstead theatre yeah I went and spoke to him, but I was meeting a mate at that theatre anyway (another thing y'all niggers can't comprehend). If you actually followed my twitter that evening you'd see I didn't just chill at work alone when I finish at 5:30 having a drink alone on the off chance my mate would run into Hiddleston at her play that starts at 7:30 so I could go meet her. I've never followed man down a road, gone out my way to pass his house, been disrespectful, posted personal info about him that would enable people to go stalk him etc etc like some of the crazies I've seen. And if you apparently keep tabs on me you'd see I go to every west end show I can and y'all be bat shit crazy if you think I'm gonna miss Hamlet, something from the Kenneth Branagh theatre company - didn't happen when they were at the Garrick so wouldn't happen now 😂 furthermore I dropped more Ps on tickets Hamlet for Andrew Scott and Cumbers and on other west end plays such as young Frankenstein; that's happening at the moment but you don't get ya knickers in a twist about that hmm. Also I'm not actually under 25 so couldn't get them £15 tickets and £45 was the next cheapest. I wasn't gonna pay £95 for mans. Having said that he was really good as Hamlet, if you was wondering, thoroughly enjoyed it. 10/10! Anywho, whether you disagree with the fact I approached man at Hampstead theatre and say it's stalkerish lmao that's you're own prerogative, I don't feel bad. Tom probably gives no fucks. If that's you're idea of stalking then BOY OH BOY. And I'm not trying to pretend I'm not a fan girl like everyone else. Yeah, I used to be, just scroll down my social media to find that out. But years have passed and I'm not that dedicated to that life anymore, especially when it comes to Tom. I still appreciate his work, but I nowt need to scream about him on the interwebs. And I'm lucky enough to get invited to cool things, should I decline to appease some haters? Because I never would, in fact if it happens to wind them up more, aye that's not my business! Just because I was once a high key fangirl doesn't mean I can't suddenly get lucky without there being some ulterior motives. Furthermore, I don't know about these dons who apparently worship me, I'm flattered if you think that I have people like this, but I just stay in my lane. If people think it's cool that I share my experiences than yay! If you don't think it's cool, don't look or just suck it up. Also, my friends have had negative meetings with Tom in the past. I wasn't present and it's up to them how they talk about him. One girl who didn't even have the excuse of a bad meeting was once really out of order rude and I've stopped talking to her as it's a bad attitude to anyone not just because it's Tom. I've always said he was respectful when I've met him, but if my friends had bad experiences then I'm not gonna pretend man is perfect just because of who he is. Ps I went to Young Frankenstein press night and the afterparty the other day as I was invited. It you so worried, go drop Hadley Fraser a line that a potential lunatic was there. ;) Peace out. Until next year probably, Tumblr :)

#These people are weird #Tom Hiddleston #PSA #why you so mad #probably won't see Tom for like two years again but no doubt they'll invent something #Tom's done like two plays in 4 years I've been to but that counts as all of them #okay #his career must be thin if the handful of times I've met him is stalking him EVERYWHERE #loooool they stalk me more than I stalk Tom #as you were PE

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hungergames-fanfic · 6 years ago

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Half human, half squirrel

Cause Arielle lives so far away instead of letting her walk from our house to hers, daddy takes her home every day. Usually she stays over for lunch but today daddy said no. He told Arielle that I have to do my chores and she can’t stay unless she wanna help. Of course she said she wanted to but daddy took her home.

When we got back, I cleaned my room, the living room and fed the chickens in the coop. Daddy also wanted me to milk the cows but momma Bilmin told him that was enough for me to do in one day. So he wouldn’t make me do anything else I spent all afternoon with momma Bilmin.

On the living room sofa, laying next t her, I read her an entire chapter from a book about nature. We learned about corals and how they’re living creatures even though they look like pretty colorful rocks. Momma Bilmin really liked the jellyfish in one of the pictures and I told her how they’re so pretty but sting to the touch.

“They don’t even have brains, momma!”, I shout excitedly.

“Sound like ya grandma Ester”, she snorts, “don’t you tell her I said that”, she points in my face. This makes me laugh and I tell her that her secret is safe with me. She smiles and tickles me for a minute until laughing starts to hurt. Then she tells me it’s time for bed, hugs and kisses me before she stands up.

She helps me take a bath cause she says I be doing a horrible job at it. While I scrub my toes, she scrubs my back. Jokingly she pinches my nipple. Says they’re starting to grow, laughs, and then goes to scrub my neck and wash my head. When I get out, she covers me in a towel and walks me to my room. Passing by momma and daddy’s room, I see daddy sitting at the edge of the bed rubbing his face. Momma wipes her cheeks and walks away. I think she’s crying.

“What’s wrong daddy?”, I ask but he waves me off, stands up and closes the door.

“That’s disrespectful, Polomir!”, momma Bilmin yells at him.

“Not now, momma!”, daddy yells back.

In my room, she helps me put on a big red shirt and pink shorts. I ask about momma but she says everything is alright, they’re just tired. She kisses my forehead, tucks me and closes the door. The silent darkness is scary. Momma Bilmin never closes my door. Scared, I quietly creep up to my door and twist the knob. Slowly, I open it and peak out.

Momma Bilmin knocks softly on their door and daddy opens it and steps out a second later. “What happened?”, momma Bilmin asks but daddy doesn’t say none, he just squeezes the bridge of his nose, exhales and walks down the hall waving his arms in the air. I close my door quietly just in time. I hear them walk past.

For a minute I listen in but can’t hear anything I can understand. Quietly, I open the door and crawl out. In all fours, I head towards momma and listen for her but she’s just sniffing a lot. In the kitchen I hear momma Bilmin yell at daddy.

“You said 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 to her? You should be happy, Polomir”, she snaps tryna whisper but fails.

“Momma”, daddy snaps back, “she’s always workin’ and when she’s home she’s on that goddamn phone talkin’ to that cretin”, daddy says. He says the last word through his teeth. Is daddy mad at momma cause she works a lot? “We haven’t had a chance in months and she’s tellin’ me she’s..”, a loud noise interrupts. It sounds like someone hit the table really hard.

“I ain’t find out bout you until I was bout six months, Polomir”, momma Bilmin says.

Because none of it makes sense I try to open the door but it’s locked, when I knock, nobody answers. Maybe I ain’t knock loud enough. I ain’t tryna get caught out of bed though, daddy’s mad already. I go back to my room. Maybe momma Bilmin is right, momma must be real tired if she locked the door for some sleep.

I lay in bed for a very long time staring at the moonlight shinning into my room. I think about what momma Bilmin said, “six months before she found out about daddy?”, it just confuses me more. What does cretin mean anyway?

Just as I’m falling asleep a tapping at my window scares me wide awake. I look at the floor where the moonlight still shines except a shadow waves as it taps. Scared out of my mind, feeling my heart in my throat, I look at the window and see a more terrifying figure. It’s Arielle and her hair looks scarier at night.

“How?”, I whisper at her wanting to scream. I’m mad cause she scared me. When I open the window, she giggles and climbs inside. She hugs me breathing really hard in my ear. She’s sweaty too. It’s hard to stay mad when you wanna ask a lot of questions.

“I wanted to see you”, she says. I shush her and put my hand over her mouth listening for any noise other than her breathing, hoping no one heard. She wanted to see me? Why? She lives so far away, though.

“Did you walk here?”, I ask the first question I can latch on.

“I ran”, she smiles wide and bites her lip. She looks goofy missing her two front teeth and it makes me wanna smile back but I don’t. Daddy would be mad at her, so I pretend to be mad and put my hands on my hips.

“Why?”, I ask tryna look like I’m not impressed.

“Grandma was bein’ mean to me. She said no one likes me and I’m annoyin’, I told her you like me, that’s why you’re my friend so I ran away and came here”, she says waving her hands in the air. She smiles and turns around to close my window. I’ve never called her my friend before. I thought I had to like the person.

“Arielle, you can’t stay here”, I say. I ain’t tryna get in trouble cause she’s wild.

“Oh. I guess I’ll go home then”, her smile goes away really fast. She looks at the floor, scratches her head and slowly turns around.

“Wait”, I grab her arm just as she does. I’ve never seen her look so sad before. She’s always so happy. Her smile comes back and she hugs me really tight.

“I knew you wasn’t gon let me go back home”, she giggles and runs to my bed, “you care bout me”.

“You want some water?”, I ask. She’s sweaty and when people are sweaty, momma Bilmin says you need to give them water. She nods and smiles. I put my index finger on my lips and tell her to stay here.

“Dora, why you up?”, momma Bilmin asks. She’s sitting at the table thinking so hard she’s chewing on her thumb nail. She always scolds me when I bite my nails. I don’t say anything about it.

“I’m thirsty”, I answer. She just nods and points at the sink. I wonder what she’s thinking about. I don’t ask though, I don’t want her to follow me to my room and find Arielle. I ain’t tryna get in trouble.

Back, Arielle has already made herself at home. She’s taken off her shoes and her clothes are on the floor. She’s under the covers and kicks her feet and giggles.

“My bed ain’t this comfy”, she says.

“Are you naked?”, I ask feeling nervous.

“What?”, she asks a little too loud. I shush her. She giggles. “No, silly, I’m wearin’ one of your shirts. It’s smells nice, just like you”, she says and hides under the covers.

“Here’s some water”, I say drinking some. She thanks me and drinks almost all of it, when she’s done, she gives it back and gives me another hug.

“You hug a lot”, I complain.

“I know, but what’s wrong with huggin’?”, she asks. I shake my head. There’s nothing wrong with it. No one’s ever hugged me this much though.

My bed is small, this means that if we are going to sleep together, we’re gonna have to touch. At first, I lay on my side and try to go back to sleep but Arielle puts her arm around me. I ask her why and she says that’s how her daddy used to sleep with her momma when she was little. This makes me smile, that’s how daddy sleeps with momma too.

“You ever seen a dead frog?”, she asks me just as I’m falling asleep again. I turn around and look at her. Why won’t she go to sleep?

“You gonna sleep any time soon?”, I ask. She giggles and hops out of bed, walks around to my side and looks through her pant pockets. In her hand, she pulls out a crumpled up leaf. Except, it’s not a leaf and when she turns on the lamp by my bedside, I see it’s a dead frog.

“Why are you like this?”, I ask her. I’ve never met anyone as weird as her. Not even Efrain is this weird and he’s a boy.

She giggles with a snort, puts it back in her pocket and gets in bed. Crawling over me, pulling the covers off and back on, she gets so close her leg is on top of mines. Laying on my back, I’m stuck frozen in place not knowing if I should push her away or if I should just ignore her and try to go back to sleep.

“I wish I was you”, she says hugging my whole arm. I don’t say none, I’m confused, why would she wanna be me? No one even likes me. “You got a lot of folk that love you”, she says.

“Huh?”, no one likes me. She nods and smiles but it looks sad not happy.

She tells me that her daddy used to hit her and her momma a lot when she was little but then he lost his legs in a meat factory accident. Now he just yells from the bedroom. Says her momma always crying, too and daddy being crippled is the only thing that makes her grandma laugh. “She’s crazy”, she chuckles, “always bein’ mean to everyone”.

Says that her grandma is always making fun of the way she looks cause she looks just like her momma. No one else in ten has bright orange hair like them. She also tells me that her family used to have money, never rich but enough to have food on the table but grandpa stole it and disappeared. “Momma got too old for tessera so she had to start working at the meat factory, that’s where she met daddy”.

She tells me about how much she hates school and everyone in her class, too. That they call her a freak and sometimes Kenneth draws her like a scary monster with angry red eyes, spiky hair and sharp teeth. One time a girl pulled her hair and started hitting her when the teacher left the class.

I hug her. “I ain’t ever gonna hurt you Arielle, I promise”. She smiles and hugs me back even tighter. The kids at school make fun of me too, but no one hits me. Cassidy poked me with a sharp pencil once but I told on her and she got sent home with a note. This makes Arielle mad and she tells me she’ll hit Cassidy when she sees her, I tell her it’s ok. I don’t want her to get in trouble.

I’m falling asleep again when I feel her poke my cheek. “I think that was very brave, Dora”, she says.

“Huh?”

“You jumpin’ in for Efrain when he was gettin’ beat up. That was brave”, she says hugging me, putting her head on my shoulder. Daddy is very brave and I wanna be just like him. Arielle calling me that makes me feel tingly and happy. I don’t say anything back though. This time I make sure she falls asleep before I do.

I dream about navigating my own boat, I’m at sea and Efrain is my first mate. He and I fish and look at corals and jellyfish until we find a mermaid. It’s Arielle and she looks crazy. She has a dead crab in her hands and keeps asking Efrain to eat it. He’s so stupid he does and lies about it being delicious.

I feel someone poke me awake. When I notice it’s momma Bilmin I immediately think about Arielle, who‘s supposed to be at my side. I jump up and touch the empty space next to me. I look all over the room but she ain’t anywhere to be found. Sitting up, I look under the bed and then at momma Bilmin who’s holding her chest.

“Amos, I’m here baby, I’m here”, momma Bilmin says tryna grab me by my shoulders. She grabs my face and hugs giving me lots of kisses.

“I’m alright momma”, I say pushing her away. I don’t want any kisses, I wanna know where my friend is.

“You ok?”, momma Bilmin asks still tryna hug me. I shake my head. I don’t say anything. She looks worried and like she wants to cry but doesn’t. Instead she puts her hand on her forehead and stands up. “What..”, she clears her throat and closes her eyes, “..you want for breakfast?”. I think for a moment and bite my lip. Where did that silly girl go?

“Waffles?” I say. It’s the first thing that pops in my mind. Momma Bilmin clears her throat again and walks out my room but not before staring back at me for a long second. I stare at her back and scratch my head.

“What are waffles?”, Arielle asks popping out of my closet. I look at her surprised and wide eyed. For a moment I thought last night was just a dream. She giggles and runs up on the bed to hug me. Now in her underwear, she hides under my bed, makes a lot of noise, which I refuse to check on, and comes back out with her hands in the air. “Ta-da!”, she says with her shirt on backwards, dressed back in her fitting clothes.

At the table in the kitchen, i think about Arielle. She just put her clothes back on and jumped out my window. Ain’t say bye or anything, she just left. Why is she so weird? How can she be that weird too? Could she really be half squirrel? All of this thinking is making my head so itchy.

“What’s goin’ on?”, momma Bilmin asks putting a plate in front of me. I cross my arms and shake my head. There’s a knock at the front door. Momma Bilmin leaves to go open it. I stare at the perfect waffle on my plate, wondering how someone can be so strange.

“Dora, guess who came to visit?”, momma Bilmin says in the hallway. Those giggles I recognize so well run up into the kitchen and she hugs me. Arielle sits in the chair next to mine and doesn’t stop giggling. Maybe she’s laughing at my face. I’m pretty sure there’s a stupid look there.

#isadora wyetka #Arielle #age 10 #momma bilmin #polomir wyetka #esperanza wyetka

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