#I also have student loans and I will never be able to move out of my parent's house

[sailor-aviator]

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[aberooski]

Starting to think about opening comms again.

[fakeoutbf]

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[klaus-littlestwolf]

hi can you make a human AU for yandere klaus mikaelson where he is a businessman and he is the boss of his own company and he has a new assistant *y/n* and he obviously falls in love with her and finds any excuse to stay with her and one day they stay late at the office just the two of them and klaus manages to seduce her enough to fuck her hard against his desk and claim her as his own.

His New Assistant-Klaus M.

(There’s hints of Yandere!Klaus in this but it’s not too bad, he’s more Yandere in the sense that the boss is ‘taking advantage’ of his employee)

Warning:Smut, Dub-Con(ish-if you squint) and power imbalance

-Don’t Like=Don’t Read-

DD:DNE

It was strange to you how close he got at first, Klaus was constantly keeping you after hours, paying you overtime to help with the smallest things. He would be close as often as he could, touch you as often as he could and stare at you through his office window whenever he got the chance.

Honestly you feel like you should have reported him to Human Resources by now but…you love it.

Your boss was definitely attractive, and for some reason he wanted to constantly be around you. You didn’t really have a problem with it, doing your job and taking care of whatever he needed from you. Sometimes you just ended up having dinner with him in his office while you went over paperwork that could have easily waited until the next day.

Klaus seemed like he was trying to see just how far he could get. You knew the little touches were inappropriate, his hand lingering on the small of your back, wrapping around your waist, tucking your hair behind your ear, but he was so sweet and charming you couldn’t find it in yourself to complain. Klaus was hot, no denying that, but you never thought it went beyond a little teasing, you never thought he was as in love with you as he is. By the time you realized how serious it was it was too late.

‘Here are the reports you asked for Mr. Mikaelson. If that’s everything you need then I will head out for the day.’ You turned to walk back to your desk when his voice stopped you.

‘Y/n, I actually have something else to get done. Would you mind terribly staying and helping me? I’ll buy you dinner?’ He offered and you couldn’t refuse that sweet, hopeful face.

‘Fine, but I want Chinese.’ You teased and he just smiled.

Once again you stay with him finishing up paper work that didn’t need to be done yet, some of which never should have been anywhere near his desk, but you didn’t complain. You two worked and talked until almost 9pm when you began cleaning up for the evening and he seemed to suddenly realize how late it was. ‘Thank you for this Y/n, I appreciate how willing you are to help me. Most assistants I’ve had would never consider overtime…I also genuinely enjoy spending time with you.’ He admitted and you felt your cheeks heating up.

‘Well thank you Mr. Mikaelson. I’m glad that I can help, besides, overtime just means I can pay my bills faster.’ You joked, picking up the last files and moving to put them away in the file cabinet.

‘Are you having trouble? I can help you if you need-‘ you were stunned by his immediate upset at the idea of your money problems.

‘Oh no, I’m fine. It was a joke, really. I mean everyone has money problems, student loans, the normal stuff, no big deal.’ You brushed the subject off as quickly as you could before filing the last few folders. ‘Everything is finished, and legal should be able to find it all tomor-Oh!’ You gasped as you turned to find your boss directly behind you, jumping back into the filing cabinet in surprise.

‘Are you alright? I didn’t mean to frighten you.’ He spoke, reaching out to make sure you hadn’t hurt your head.

‘I’m fine…’ you mumbled quietly, trying to find a way around him but not seeing one and instantly hating your body for betraying you as you felt your nipples harden as his hands touched you, running down your arms and looking you over.

‘You’re perfection…you know Y/n, I’ve really become attached to you these last 2 weeks you’ve been here. I believe you deserve everything the world has to offer you, and I want to be the one to give it to you.’ His hand tucked your hair behind your ear and you were stood, frozen and in shock.

‘Mr. Mikaelson, I think this is becoming inappropriate and I don’t-‘

‘Come on Love. You know that I’m sweet on you, there’s no way you don’t. You’ve been enjoying our time together, I know you like the flirting and the little touches…well I love how you try to hide that sweet blush every time I compliment you.’ His thumb brushed down your cheek and you could feel how hot it was as your body continued disobeying you.

‘Please stop? I-I can’t-‘

‘Can’t what?’

‘Can’t lose my job for this-please stop?’ Tears sprung to your eyes as you tried to push passed him but his arm wound around your waist, and he quickly lifted you to sit on his desk.

‘You won’t be losing your job gorgeous, I like having you here. I want you to be mine, and if that’s what I want then who is going to object with me?’ You were stunned by that, he wanted you to keep working for him even after fucking you?

‘If people find out-‘

‘Let them. What are they going to say? I fell in love with my assistant and now we’re together? Now she’s mine? I enjoy the idea of working with you all day and holding you all night, don’t you?’ I looked up at him in shock, disbelief at the idea that he could be in love with me. ‘Oh Love, you didn’t think once was going to be enough for us, did you? We’ll have barely gotten started.’ The smirk on his face was dark and would have been scary if you didn’t already love him yourself. You had seen his dark side, the angry parts of him that come out in meetings with certain people, and you had seen who the only person to calm him down afterwards was.

You

‘You’re already dripping for me, aren’t you?’ He questioned as he pulled your ass to the edge of the desk and began pushing your skirt up your thighs. ‘I know you are, I know how badly this sweet little cunt needs me.’ You gasped suddenly, his forehead resting against yours now as you felt his hand grazing the inside of your thighs before his fingertips brushed against your panties. His other hand moved and suddenly he had ripped your panties in half, roughly shoving 2 fingers into you and swallowing your cry in a needy kiss. Your hands quickly moved to fumble with his belt, yanking it open and wrapping your fingers around his cock, stunned at just how thick it is. ‘I’m going to stretch you so good you’ll never want another cock again.’ His mouth devoured yours in his desperate kisses, hands now yanking his boxer briefs down and pressing the head of his thick cock to your dripping hole. ‘See how desperate she is for me? Sweet little hole is leaking all over my desk, I can’t imagine how wet your panties are when you go home every night-‘ you gasped loudly as he shoved himself into you completely, holding your waist tightly to keep your body flush against his. ‘So tight!’ He grunted, pulling back and shoving himself into you again, setting a slow pace and grunting against your neck as your arms wrapped tighter around his neck, fingers buried in his hair to hold yourself close to him.

‘Please sir-‘

‘Call me my name, love! Only my name from now on!’ He demanded, thrusting particularly hard.

‘Niklaus! Faster-Please?!’ You begged and he growled, pushing you down onto his desk, climbing on top of you and thrusting his hips faster now. You lifted your legs and wrapped them around his waist as he continued his desperate pace.

‘Do you know-fuck-how many times I’ve thought about fucking you over this desk?!’ You shook your head, tears springing to your eyes as you barreled towards your end. ‘Gonna bend you over it tomorrow, clearly gonna have to shove something in this needy little mouth with how loud you are. Fuck! Cum. Cum on my cock gorgeous, let me feel this tight little cunt squeezing me!’

‘Oh God Niklaus!’ You cried, your pussy constricting around him as you came, faster than you believe any man has made you before and dropping your head to the table, waiting for him to finish as well but he didn’t.

‘You look so fucking beautiful cumming for me, I need to show the world that perfect face.’ He pulled his still hard cock from you, watching with a dark smirk as your pussy dripped on his oak desk before he hooked his hands under your thighs and lifted you up, spinning you so your back was against his chest and moving to pin your body to the window surrounding his corner office. The cold window hardened your nipples even more as he forced you to look out over all the other skyscrapers. ‘Isn’t it beautiful?’ He asked, lips barely touching your ear and you could do nothing but whine. ‘This is just the first of the wonderful views I plan to give you while I fuck you senseless, the next will be time square in New York on the business trip next week.’ As he shoved his cock back inside of you, your hands pressed to the glass, pushing you back against him, your boss now slamming his cock into you like a desperate animal. ‘All mine now Baby, all fucking mine! Not gonna stop until I fill this body with my babies, God, imagine how beautiful you’ll be! Tell me your mine!’

‘Y-yours!’

‘Say It!’

‘I’m Yours! All yours Niklaus! Please fill me up, please?!’ You pleaded, your second orgasm ripping through you almost painfully and squeezing him hard.

‘Oh Fuck! Perfect, Tight, Little Cunt! Fuck!’ His teeth sunk into your shoulder as he came, filling you with everything he had before kissing the side of your face.

He pulled out and set you down in his desk chair, turning away and leaving you feeling exposed. Just as you were about to get up and search for your clothes he turned back, eyes warning you against moving before he knelt down in front of you and used wet wipes from his desk to clean you up. ‘You don’t have to do that, I can-‘

‘Don’t question me taking care of you Y/n, I meant what I said…you’re mine now.’ His voice was like a warning as he cleaned you off and helped you dress before cleaning and dressing himself which was extremely sweet.

You slept in his bed later that night, snuggled into your boss’ naked chest and content on the insanely comfortable mattress for the night. You were suddenly looking forward to the business trip to New York that much more…

Klaus Mikaelson Masterlist

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for getting a total permanent disability discharge on my loan and leaving my cosigner father fully responsible ?

background: in fall 2020 I started college. not directly out of high school because of mental and physical health problems but a year later. this was community college, but I was very financially unprepared. i honestly didn’t know anything about how student loans or paying for college worked. but the year I spent at home was very stressful as my parents always told me “get a job, go to school, or move out” and all options were extremely difficult for me physically and mentally. I tried to explain this to them for years but they never really listened so I felt backed into a corner. We are also not very well off and my parents have never been able to set aside a “college fund” for any of us and expect us to financially handle ourselves, because there wasn’t much other choice. I got some federal loans and some grants but it ended up not being enough, and I didn’t realize that until halfway into my first semester. I spent a lot of time panicking, feeling suicidal, really unsure what to do and didn’t really know where to even start resolving the situation, all exacerbated by a severe untreated anxiety disorder. Eventually my dad agreed to cosign an $8k private loan. Fast forward to fall 2021 and I had to drop out, because of financial, medical and emotional reasons. I once again (due to a different mistake) didn’t have the funds to continue the semester and this time we absolutely could not afford another loan. In January 2022, my disabilities became more severe and now I could not attend school even if I had the means, let alone participate in gainful employment. Federal loans were on pause but that did not apply to the $8k loan, which is now over $10k due to interest. It has absolutely made my familys financial situation worse and made me suicidal. I am applying for SSI but always knowing i’ll have this massive loan hanging over my head makes life feel not worth living. if I didn’t have this loan (and if my federal TPD gets accepted) I would feel a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. I don’t know if I gain much from taking this loan I cannot pay and putting it solely on my fathers shoulders will help anything…but it does make the end of the tunnel look a little brighter. WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[thechaoticplayer]

that anon wasn’t me but they are absolutely correct and i feel like i should give my two cents worth about all of this among the sea of hate towards the nijisanji livers. i’m not bootlicking the company, but i feel like it’s hypocritical for people to sent hate to the talents after doki said MULTIPLE times not to since she was also a victim of such behavior (and plenty of dragoons no longer even feel safe in her community because of the immense amount of people who are only there to harass and don’t even care for her) this is a rant that just shows that the issue is gray and that we’ll never really know what’s going on as outsiders

tell the remaining members to graduate because their fanbase will follow them is stupid, acting like they didn’t work their asses off to get where they are and haven’t invested so much in their current persona. ike, elira, and vox are some of the most popular talents so that it makes sense for anycolor to force them into making the stream. saying that vox doesn’t care about mental health after his charity stream and saying that it was just for show need to shut up because we’ll never how how he’s really feeling behind the avatar. elira specifically doesn’t deserve the disproportionate amount of hate and disgusting things she received from it from what was essentially revenge porn to art of her being abused, have these people not been taught that if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all? it costs NOTHING to spam hate on your private account instead.

while i agree that the 2% merch sales and 1/4 (after youtube) of the supas should be raised, that doesn’t mean that the livers aren’t making any money and are poor as several of them have mentioned being able to pay off student loans and have turned their lives around with the money. while it sucks that selen made no profit after investing 200k into projects, maria has mentioned before that covers were more of passion gifts to fans rather than something to make money off of (i DO think that they should be paid for their projects, but that’s just how it goes unfortunately). last cup of coffee was taken down because she didn’t have all of the proper permissions and rushed posting it as a sweet gift to fans, management had full intentions to put it back up.

accusing livers of being bullies based on speculations is idiotic as it just hurts innocent people in the crossfire. these may just look like anime women and men to you, but they are REAL PEOPLE and streaming for nijisanji is their main livelihood! have some empathy, it’s hurting their mental health (the mental health some “dragoons” seem to care about so much)

this goes to say, i am on doki’s side because NO ONE should have to go what she went through, but i just want to show that there are two sides to a coin. i think that nijisanji needs better management, to allow their talents more freedom and a higher percentage of merch sales/supas, and stop treating their livers like shit! stop the harassment and move on, it’s what doki has mentioned multiple times that she wanted! don’t be one of the reasons another liver may have to go what she went through because you have an irrational hate boner for the company

also stream mani / gilty x gilty by maria marionette, finana ryugu, POMU RAINPUFF, meloco kyoran, and kotoka torahime

guys this shit right here

This right here

We need to like post this everywhere bc holy shit people need to understand

You are 100% right!! I agree with everything you just said, esp the "graduate and get out of the company" because they really did bust their asses off to get where they are now and it's a childish way of thinking

[shiftingforyeonjun]

How I Manifested $5,000 & Proof!

& how I manifested NOT to pay it back 

Things I will cover in this post

- My affirmations

- How I changed my mindset

- How I acted as if

- The sentence that changed my manifestations forever 

- How the universe tested me & how I passed

Why hello there! 

I am now going to explain how I manifested $5,000 and how I am now able to get my own apartment because of the money I manifested. 

So one morning a few months ago I was getting ready for work and doing my makeup. I felt so drained from needing to rely on my sister for a place to live and pretty much living paycheck to paycheck while working a part time job and being a student. So I looked in the mirror and said to myself “I’m gonna receive $5,000.” 

& I believed it.

And when I didn’t believe it, I forced myself to. I affirmed over and over again, “I have $5,000. I have that apartment. I am moving out. I have $5,000 in my bank account. I am rich.” Even though having $5,000 isn’t rich, I still affirmed it.  

I acted as if. I went to work and thought to myself “I don’t need this job. This job needs me. I have enough money to quit but I know they need the help and I have nothing else to do so why not?” I thought of going to work as doing them a favor and not needing to make money. Because I don’t. 

I also would think of ways I would help other people once I got the money. 

But even while doing all this, I still had the thought, “But how am I gonna get this much money?” and this next sentence is what completely changed my manifestations.

“It doesn’t matter.”

It doesn’t matter where the money comes from. I am open to receiving the money in any way the universe sees fit. I was flexible. As long as it doesn’t come at the expense of someone else and does not harm anyone, I am open to any way the money comes. 

When I had a doubt, I immediately replaced the thought with “It doesn’t matter.”

But before any manifestation, the universe will test you. Sometimes it seems like you might manifest the opposite of what you want but in reality, that is progress. And I will touch on this in a second. 

So after I affirmed and acted as if, I got the notification that I have received my financial aid rewards for the fall semester. So I logged on and saw that I had a surprising amount of aid offered to me that included grants and loans. So I said “fuck it” and accepted all of it, even the loans. 

After my tuition for the semester was paid, I had $5,555 left over. I want to stress that I have NEVER had this much money offered to me before. Usually it is only around $1,000. This was insane to me. 

I can’t even make this up. It’s the angel number for me. A literal angel number telling me, “here is the money you asked for.”

But of course, there had to be a test.

Throughout this whole process, I would find money everywhere. BUT, I would never keep it for myself. I would either give it back to the person it belongs to or leave it where I found it. I wasn’t greedy and I was honest. There was one time when I found what looked like a debit card and I called the number that was on it and it turned out to be someone’s business card that they made to look like a debit card. That was embarrassing. 

But the real kicker was one day, I checked up on my refund before it got disbursed and it said $900. I freaked out because I was wondering where all the money went. I was suppose to get over $5,000 back but it only said $900?! 

But then I stopped myself and calmed down. I told myself “It’s okay. I will make do with the $900 because it is still money and I am grateful for it.” I took the $5,000 off a pedestal and became genuinely grateful for my $900. 

A few weeks later, refunds were ready to be disbursed and I got my full $5,000 straight into my bank account. 

I literally cried. 

I was so grateful to have finally gotten the money I asked for. 

Now, when I found out the money was going to come from my loans, I thought to myself “it doesn’t matter if they are loans, I won’t have to pay them back. I don’t know how but I won’t need to.”

And then Biden announces the student loan relief which I qualify for. 

The universe works in such magical and mysterious ways. The key is to trust the universe and trust the process and stay true to yourself and be honest.

*

Let my story inspire you and help you on your journey to manifesting your desires. You can manifest and have anything you want in life. 

And also, I struggled terribly with mental health issues so during all this, I would get very depressed and anxious and not once did my mental health effect my manifestations. 

Happy Manifesting!!! 

[musei-thoughts]

𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯, 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘐𝘐.

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝘐𝘬𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮! 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺/𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 1409𝙬.

𝙖/𝙣: 𝘚𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯'𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥! 𝘞𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬, 𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬, 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭, 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵, 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 >:(( 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺!

The sea. it was blue. It reminded you of him so much.

The gentle breeze. It's beauty. And its serenity.

It was just like Ike Eveland.

Your body just moves on its own, approaching the rails that kept people from falling off the seaside.

You stepped onto the rails and lifted yourself dangerously over it. You lean towards the sea, taking a deep breath.

You're life was pretty dull before he came.

Work was shit.

Home was full of drama.

Your financial status was driving you nuts.

And you were experiencing existential crisis on a daily basis from how lonely you were.

But when he came into your life, you were able to...

breathe again.

You were so pressured by the things that was happening around you that you stopped enjoying life.

When he came, the weight from your shoulders were lifted from his mere presence.

He was your safe place.

Your Haven.

But why?

Why is he not here?

Why is he not holding your hand as your mind continues to drive you crazy?

Why isn't he here, wrapping you in his embrace, whispering sweet nothings to you?

Why was he just…

Gone?

"IKE EVELAND WHERE ARE YOU?!" you yelled at the sea.

Despite the weird looks that were given your way, you continued yelling your heart out.

You didn't care, you had to somehow get this weight off your chest.

"I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU HOW I FEEL YET SO DON'T YOU DARE DISAPPEAR ON ME!!!"

Yeah…

"….I love it when you're here."

…the weight of falling in love with Ike Eveland. . . .

"Mr. Eveland had passed away two years ago…"

The old woman's words echoes in your head. You didn't believe it at first, you even thought that she was crazy.

But counting the weeks that you haven't seen him nor texted him, you began to worry.

What if that woman was right?

'No. No, Y/n. It can't be.'

But it could.

It that why people would stare at you when you were with him?

Is that why you felt something was off despite being so happy with him?

Is that why your coworkers started being nice to you?

….because they thought you were going crazy…?

Was all those memories of him just…hallucinations?

'Poor kid, left by her birthmother…'

'We may have the same dad but you will never. never be my sister!'

'Make sure you earn enough to pay for your tuition, I'm not gonna waste a single yen on you.'

'This will be your last warning, Y/n. If you don't pay your rent, you're better off living in the streets.'

Your life was shit.

No wonder you were going crazy…

So crazy that you created an imaginary friend that you happen to fall in love with.

"Damn, Y/n…you need to see someone."

"Yeah, a hot therapist boyfriend."

"Yeah that. Minus the boyfriend part."

"A hot therapist then?"

"No, Y/n. A normal therapist. You need a therapist."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at your blonde friend (who is totally not a complete stranger that you began to talk to at the bar just a second ago),

"Look, Luca. My Landlord will kick me out if I don't pay my rent, I still have to pay for that student loan, and I also need to think about food. I don't think my pocket would be prepared to pay for a psychiatrist."

Luca looks around before sneaking his hands in his coat and pulls out a stack of cash, handing it to you.

Your jaw dropped at the cash. A stack of receipts and bills? Yeah, you've seen them, a lot. But a stack of cash?? Never.

"What the fuck!? Where the hell did you get this?! There's no way I'm taking this!" You whisper-yelled at Luca, pushing the money back to him.

He grabs your hand and places it back into your hands, smiling sweetly at you, "Don't worry, I have plenty to spare. Plus, you really need this. So get better for me, m'kay?"

Yeah. So that's how you started seeing a Therapist.

Aside from the fact that your therapist wasn't hot, you were feeling better.

You were back on your feet and stopped thinking about Ike.

As much as it hurts to stop, you had to.

Eventually, as your life began to improve for good, you knew you had to let go…

…of the memories with him and of him.

So, in honor of moving on, you decided to revisit the place where it all began.

The library where you met Ike Eveland.

You were hesitant at the very least, but you still went.

Clutching onto your bag, you stepped into the quiet place.

It was so nostalgic.

And painful.

To think that you had to let go of one of the fewest people that made you happy.

To move on without him.

The thought was unbearable, but you knew you had to get over it in order to get your life together.

'Okay, Y/n. Let's take one last glance before moving on with our shitty life.'

You confidently stepped into the place and you could've sworn that the world just stopped before your very eyes.

"I-Ike…?"

There he sat, at the exact same spot where you met him.

Ike Eveland.

As soon as your eyes met, He stood from his seat and approached you, "Y/n! I'm sorry I wasn't able to reply to your messages- are…you okay?"

He's in front of you.

Was your mind tricking you again?

You reached you hand out to touch his face, praying, hoping, yearning that you weren't going crazy again.

As soon as you felt his warm skin against your fingertips, a relieved cry escapes your lips.

"It really is you…"

You leaned your head into his chest, wrapping your arms around him and inhaling his scent that you missed so much.

Ike was confused. "W-what? Did something happen?"

Your grip on his jacket tightens, afraid of losing him again.

In all honesty, the therapist wasn't what you needed. It was Ike.

Everything else can go wrong and you would be fine with it, as long as you have him.

As long as you see his smile, hear his laughter, feel his warmth, that's more than enough.

You feel Ike gently pulling away to see your face. He looks at you with such concern, cupping your tear-stained cheeks in his warm hands, "What happened, älskling?" he asked.

So you told him what happened.

"An old lady? That must've been Chiyo-san. She's one of our patrons." Ike explains after you finished.

You frown, "But she told me you died."

"I think what she meant was my father. He passed away two years ago from a car accident." He replies, brushing your hair away from your face.

You let out a sigh of relief knowing that. So you didn't loose your mind.

Ike looks down at your hands that were resting on top of his waist. He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry…" He says, looking at you softly. "I could've at least told you I would be away…" His thumb gently caressing your cheekbone.

You sigh deeply, leaning into his touch, "I know. I forgive you, Ike."

The both of you stare at each other for the longest time, letting your eyes linger on each others beautiful features.

After everything that's happened between the two of you, there wasn't anything left unsaid. The both of you just knew what the other was trying to tell each other.

Unlike last time, you two felt…closer.

It was like not being able to see each other had brought you closer.

Ike was so lost in your eyes that he unconsciously leans forward, making your eyes widen.

A soft kiss was placed on your forehead. You were surprised at first but you find yourself closing your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his lips on your skin.

You have never felt so contented before.

Yeah, you were satisfied with just this. Being in his presence, drowning yourself in his warmth. But then again, you wondered why he went away, "Ike?"

The said male hums in response. "Where did you go? For a month?" You ask, looking up at him.

The male stares down at you, giving you a small pat in the head.

He then smiles. You love it when he does that. But you noticed something about his smile. You saw…

Pain.

"I…went to a wedding." He replied.

𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺: "𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘢, 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘶𝘦…" 𝘠𝘦𝘢 𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬, 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘵𝘰𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘦…

𝘢/𝘯: 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺'𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺𝘦𝘥 :)

← 𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 │𝘕𝘦𝘹𝘵 →

[raccooncityriots]

I swear I cannot stand lazy ass people

My brother refuses to even fucking hold a ladder for me. I need to clean the gutters out and my brother is refusing to just hold the ladder in place because he says it will take like three hours to finish. I told him it would take at most an hour because I’m just doing one side of the house, but still no. The ground isn’t level or I wouldn’t even bother to ask him. I’ve done this before with his help I don’t understand why he thinks it will take hours it literally never has.

He said, “I’ve had to do it before and it took me three hours” buddy I’m not you. I’m sure two hours of that were you being terrified of being a foot off the ground. I use a ladder frequently at my job. I’m not afraid of that, I just don’t want it to fall on the uneven ground.

Also??? You’re a fucking adult??? Sometimes things have to get done and we have to put down the fucking computer to do them. Do you think I want to clean the gutters??? You think that’s what I want to do with my time off work??? No, but it has to get done.

I stg whenever mom dies and I move away this boy isn’t going to be able to function. Man doesn’t know how to cook, doesn’t know how to clean, doesn’t want to help do any household chores. I don’t know how he ended up being so fucking self-centered and entitled. Fuck off.

He wonders why I don’t want to sit and listen to his Warhammer rants for hours and this shit is why!!!! Grow the fuck up. Bitch, I watch anime, I play video games, I collect dumb figures that I 100% overpay for, but at least I am a functioning fucking adult.

I moved back in so I could finish college and lucked in to a good job. It’d be dumb for me to pay rent at an apartment instead of just continuing to pay some of the bills here while I pay off some of my student loans and save money for a downpayment on a house, but I swear I get so annoyed at my family that it hardly seems worth it some days.

After mom lost her leg I’ve been having to do almost everything by myself and that’s just so frustrating when their is a gd able bodied man older than me that also lives here and contributes less than 1/3 of what I do financially. Get a better job or get off your ass and hold a fucking ladder for me.

[kenjakusbrainstem]

Indentation (Yuuta Okkotsu x Geto Suguru)

Contains: Rope bondage, butt plugs, blindfolds, teacher/student, age gap, top Yuuta bottom Suguru.

Kinktober day 22: Bondage. I am not entirely sure why but I am suuuuuper proud of this fic. I also really wanted to name it after 'Dress' by Miss T Swift but this is as close as I could reasonably get. The more I write these two, the more obsessed I get. Crossposted to Ao3 under the same name, shared to twt at kenjakusbrain. Comment or rb if you like!

Throughout the year of their being together, Yuuta had found that being intimate with Geto was a very… overwhelming experience. Geto never took advantage of him and always made sure Yuuta’s consent was enthusiastic, but that was part of the problem. Everything Geto did was so practiced that Yuuta lost himself to pleasure far too quickly. There were times where he would gain the confidence to make a bigger move himself but ultimately, as soon as Geto’s hands were on him, Yuuta would turn into putty.

Yuuta had mentioned this to Geto one evening, while they went on a walk around campus. It had taken a lot of stuttering and patience on Geto’s part, but once Yuuta got the words out Geto was fairly sure he had an idea of what could help them. Reassuring Yuuta with a soft kiss to his head, Geto promised to come up with something to help the teen.

Geto didn’t want to take things too far, he wasn’t entirely sure what Yuuta had wanted to try after all. He just knew that anytime he asked the teen he became more red in the face and assured Geto that it was something he’d mentioned being okay with. It wasn’t that he needed reassurance, anything Yuuta wanted to do with him Geto was sure he would love, he just wanted to plan around that.

After one of their trips into the city to get a cursed tool that was on loan to another sorcerer, they stopped in a novelty shop. Yuuta had wanted to get something for his classmates and Geto figured the twins wouldn’t mind a little surprise as well. While looking around the shop, Geto happened to notice a blindfold that looked very similar to the one Gojo wore. 

Geto noted that Yuuta was next to him, but looking at something else. He knew that, unlike Gojo, he wouldn’t be able to see with the blindfold on. Placing it over his eyes, Geto tapped Yuuta on the shoulder to get his attention. “Remind you of anyone, Yuuta?”

There was a pause, he’d expected one of Yuuta’s cute laughs and not the silence he was met with. He reached up to remove the blindfold and see if Yuuta had stepped away without him noticing, but a gentle hand on his stopped the motion. 

“Can you see me?” Yuuta asked, voice oddly strained but curious as he spoke. 

Geto shook his head instead of speaking, not wanting to interrupt whatever was going on in Yuuta’s mind. 

Yuuta’s hand caressed Geto’s cheek softly before guiding Geto down to his level. Yuuta pressed a soft kiss to Geto’s lips. Something Geto hadn’t expected at all as they never engaged in any form of public affection. To have Yuuta react so strongly surprised him.

Pulling back after Yuuta’s lips left his, Geto lifted the blindfold off. Yuuta’s face had a dusting of pink, but the look in his eyes was one of desire. Geto wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen Yuuta so focused. Geto raised his eyebrows, as if to silently ask what that was.

The flush on Yuuta’s face deepened under Geto’s inquisitive gaze. A piece of the puzzle he hadn’t known he was looking for clicked together in Geto’s mind. Yuuta’s confidence was correlated to how much control he had, if Geto was watching him or leading their more intimate moments, Yuuta wouldn’t act on his desires. However, if the perceived power imbalance tipped in his favor, Yuuta was suddenly able to act.

Geto should have gotten it months ago, when the first time Yuuta sucked him off was after he’d successfully pinned Geto while they were practicing hand to hand combat. It was more than just the adrenaline from sparring, but the fact that he had power over Geto.

“I-I I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me, it just looked so nice against your face and I couldn’t help myself. I'm sorry Sugur-” Yuuta’s rambling apology was cut off by Geto returning a soft kiss to his lips. Yuuta didn’t fully understand why he reacted the way he did, but he just couldn’t help himself at that moment. 

“It’s okay, Yuuta. I enjoyed your reaction a lot so I will be buying this though, we should hurry and head back though, did you find everything you needed?” Geto was eager to return back. He had finally come up with the perfect way, in theory, to get Yuuta to come further out of his shell intimately.

They gathered their gifts, and the blindfold, and made their way out of the shop and back toward the school.

-

About a week later, Yuuta found himself sneaking through the dark campus. Geto had texted him, as if he knew the teen would be getting ready for bed at that time. The message had mentioned a surprise, so Yuuta was a mix of nervous excitement. Geto had surprised him before randomly like this, with a gift after coming back from a mission. That it turned into a make out session that had Yuuta finishing in his pants surely had nothing to do with the excitement that coursed through him.

He was glad that the area where the staff slept if they stayed on campus was built differently than the student dorms. Instead of a dormitory style, it was more like a series of small apartment-like homes. If Yuuta remembered correctly, the staff that were immediately near Geto’s were away at the moment on missions. 

Yuuta wondered as he stood outside the front door if that was by any chance Geto’s doing. 

The text had said to just let himself in and come find his present. Yuuta found the door unlocked, so he did just that. Letting himself in and making sure to lock the door behind him, Yuuta noted that the majority of the lights were out, save for the light from the bedroom that spilled out from the crack in the bottom of the door. 

Something about the set up already had arousal spinning in the pit of Yuuta’s stomach. It could be something harmless, an actual present Geto had for him. He felt like he knew his boyfriend well enough to know that there was more to this than an object.

Pushing the bedroom door open, Yuuta was too stunned to speak at the sight in front of him. 

Geto was nude save for a red rope snaking around his body, the rope twisting and crossing to make lovely patterns against his tan skin. Yuuta followed the rope down from Geto’s chest to where it crossed on his stomach, dipping down past his half hard cock and between his thighs where it seemed to be tighter, squeezing into the soft flesh. Eyes traveling up to Geto’s face, Yuuta found a sly smirk on the man’s face. 

“Surprise~ I’ve been thinking about what you’ve said before about not being able to fully do what you want when we’re intimate because of how overbearing I can be. So, I’m yours to do with what you will,” Geto spoke, words washing over Yuuta like an unexpected wave at the beach. That Geto cared enough to put forward this much effort made his heart jump in his chest. The sight of Geto doing this however, made Yuuta’s cock stir in his pajama pants.

As Geto spoke, Yuuta noticed the blindfold sitting on Geto’s forehead, his hair was down so at first Yuuta had thought it was just messier than normal. Yuuta’s mind was racing torn between crying at how lucky he was to have someone so considerate and moving to touch Geto.

The latter won, Yuuta stepping forward without much thought, crawling onto the bed and running his hand along the ropes on Geto’s chest. Yuuta had always found Geto attractive, his crush developing the moment he laid eyes on the man, but laying here like this, Geto truly was beautiful.

Yuuta continued exploring the ropes, following them down Geto’s arms until he made it to his wrists. On one wrist there was a good 6 inches of rope hanging off the inside of his wrist, and on the other a loop had been added to the wrist. It didn’t take much for Yuuta to realize he could use this to tie Geto’s arms together, the one thing the man probably couldn’t do on his own. 

“Suguru… you didn’t have to do this,” Yuuta tried to push down the tinge of guilt he felt. Geto went to all of this effort to surprise him and all Yuuta had done was show up in his pajamas.

Geto shushed him, not wanting to allow the teen a chance to feel bad. 

“I did this for the both of us, it's something I wanted to do with you that I thought might help you out too. Please enjoy me Yuuta, use me, you can go as slow as you need to,” Geto said encouragingly. He very much did this for more than just Yuuta’s sake, the thought of Yuuta letting go and taking control made him desperate to find a way for it to happen.

Yuuta nodded, shaky hands slipping up to Geto’s face. Cradling Geto’s cheeks in his hands, Yuuta smiled softly before pulling the blindfold down over Geto’s eyes. 

As soon as Geto was unable to see him, Yuuta leaned forward, pressing a hesitant kiss to Geto’s waiting lips. Hands slipping down from Geto’s face to trace the ropes around Geto’s chest and shoulders, Yuuta couldn’t help but become more excited. 

It didn’t take long for Yuuta to deepen the kiss, he was too eager, his tongue slipping into Geto’s willing mouth to rub up against his tongue. Yuuta reveled in the way it felt to kiss Geto so deeply, a soft moan from Geto getting swallowed in the mess of lips and tongues.

Continuing his exploration of Geto’s body, Yuuta’s hands drifted down further. Fingers teasingly brushing against Geto’s nipples, eliciting another moan from the man. Curious hands dipped into the space between the ropes, touching every inch of Geto’s abdomen Yuuta could get his fingers on. It didn’t take long before Yuuta’s fingers were brushing up against Geto’s cock, now fully erect from all the attention Yuuta was giving him. 

Yuuta pulled back from the kiss, again taking in the sight of the man before him. It was hard to believe at times that he had Geto all to himself, but this made Yuuta feel like Geto belonged to him and him alone.

Situating himself, Yuuta laid between Geto’s thighs, the hard cock in front of him twitching with anticipation. Taking advantage of the fact that he knew Geto couldn’t see him, without warning Yuuta took Geto’s cock so far into his throat that he thought he would gag. Sucking harshly at the thick cock, Yuuta heard and felt Geto’s reaction. The moan was muffled by Geto biting his own lip in an attempt to stay quiet, while his thighs shook from the sudden attention to his cock. 

As much as Yuuta loved to please Geto, he wasn’t between the man’s legs without a reason. He desperately wanted to fuck Geto. They’d had sex before, Geto riding Yuuta’s cock until the teen was a crying mess mixed in with times where Geto split Yuuta in half with his cock. Yuuta had never been able to fully take Geto the way he wanted to. 

Reaching down past Geto’s balls, his fingers traced Geto’s perineum before finding something that made him stop in his tracks. Where Geto’s tight hole should be was a foreign object. Yuuta pulled his mouth off of Geto’s cock immediately, lifting the man’s thighs to get a look at what he’d just touched. Geto whined at the rough treatment, body almost being folded in half.

Nestled between Geto’s ass cheeks was a small heart shaped jewel. Yuuta felt his cock throb at the sight he hadn’t expected. 

“I wanted to be ready for whatever you wanted, I said I’m yours to use,” Geto’s breathless voice spoke. Yuuta couldn’t believe it, the thought of Geto working himself open while thinking about this, and then tying himself up made him dizzy. 

Yuuta dropped Geto’s legs, moving to remove his clothes. He tossed them onto the floor, not caring what kind of wrinkles he’d find in them later. It was all too much, he knew if he let himself get lost in touching Geto that he’d be unable to fuck the man like he needed to. All of this was so he didn’t get too overwhelmed, if the sight of the plug in Geto’s ass got him this close without even touching himself, he needed Geto now.

“Someone’s eager,” Geto teased. Though he couldn’t see the way Yuuta desperately pulled at his own clothes, he could hear the sound of fabric hitting the ground and the frantic movements from the teen on the bed. “How do you want me?”

Yuuta paused, he loved watching Geto’s expression when they had sex, they were both expressive but something about seeing the teasing look in Geto’s eyes turn into one awash with pleasure really turned him on. Considering the blindfold though, another fantasy of Yuuta’s appeared in his mind. 

“On your hands and knees, please Suguru,” Yuuta had to stop himself from apologizing or over-explaining why he wanted this. He was sure Geto would understand his desire for the position. 

Geto chuckled to himself, the sound of Yuuta telling him what to do both turned him on and made him want to kiss the teen. It was difficult for Geto to move while tied up, however, he wasn’t restrained but the way the ropes felt on his skin wasn’t exactly pleasant when he moved too much, but Yuuta had asked so nicely. Shifting his body weight, careful to not kick Yuuta, wherever he was on the bed, Geto settled onto his hands and knees before arching his back, his face turned sideways against the pillow so he could put his arms behind his back. 

The sight of Geto’s ass up in the air, the small jewel peeking out at him paired with the ropes all over his body made Yuuta’s cock throb in anticipation. His hands settled on Geto’s ass cheeks, spreading them so he could get a good look at the hole he wanted to bury himself in. Dipping his fingers in, Yuuta slowly pulled the plug out of Geto’s hole. It was messy, covered in lube that dribbled out of his hole. Sitting the plug aside, off the blankets on the edge of the bed, Yuuta situated himself. He rubbed the tip of his cock against Geto’s hole.

It already felt good to feel something against his cock, but as he slowly pressed inside Yuuta was overtaken with pleasure. He had never slid inside Geto so easily before, both the angle and the stretching Geto had done had made this feel amazing for Yuuta. 

Yuuta watched as Geto’s ass pressed up against his pelvis, the flesh squishing against his skin as he pushed his cock in as far as it would go. Yuuta stayed still for a moment, even if he didn’t need to let Geto adjust, he needed a moment. His head was already spinning with everything that had happened and the way Geto squeezed him was more than perfect. 

Reaching forward, Yuuta grabbed Geto’s hands, a motion that surprised Geto. Quickly he looped the rope around his wrists, a loose knot holding Geto’s hands behind his back now. Yuuta braced himself with the rope as he slowly pulled out of Geto.

It didn’t take long for Yuuta to find a steady pace, the fire of pleasure running through his body, setting every nerve ablaze with each thrust into Geto’s tight heat. It was hard for Yuuta to focus on anything but the way his cock felt as he fucked into Geto, steadily he tried to pick up pace, but Geto squeezing around him kept him from going as hard as he could.

Geto was glad this was the position Yuuta had chosen, he was able to bury his face in the pillow. He sometimes forgot just how well Yuuta filled him up, how each thrust the head of Yuuta’s cock would brush up against that spot inside him that made his vision blur. Geto could feel his thick cock rubbing up against the blanket beneath him. This was one of the best ideas Geto had ever had.

A particularly harder thrust drew a louder moan from Geto, one the pillow didn’t quite muffle the way it should have. This brought Yuuta’s mind back, momentarily he was lost in just how good Geto felt. Looking down Yuuta felt his hips stutter for a moment. The way Geto’s ass bounced against him as he fucked into the man was mesmerizing. It was so much and not enough for him at the same time.

Focusing on the squish of Geto’s ass, Yuuta’s pace increased. He was fucking into Geto faster than he thought possible, each thrust deep and quick. If Yuuta hadn’t been close before he certainly was now. 

Geto was unable to think, the speed at which Yuuta was filling him was one he hadn’t expected. Yuuta had always been slow, taking his time every time they’d been intimate. When he told Yuuta to go at his own pace, he hadn’t been thinking that it would bring tears to his eyes with how punishingly quick the thrusts were.

As the head of Yuuta’s cock was constantly bullying Geto’s pleasure spot, the man couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to hold on, but he’d gotten himself so close earlier when he was preparing himself for Yuuta, so Geto wasn’t able to stop himself from releasing onto the blanket that his cock was rubbing up against. 

Geto’s orgasm hit Yuuta like a punch to the gut, the way Geto clenched and spasmed around his cock immediately pulling Yuuta over the edge with him too. Yuuta tried to keep pace as he came inside Geto, his release spilling out with each thrust as he fucked them both through their orgasm. 

As Yuuta’s thrusting slowed, he pulled out of Geto. Both of their bodies were spent. With a little effort, Geto freed his arms and turned himself over to face Yuuta. He pulled the blindfold off, now able to see just how fucked out Yuuta looked.

Geto opened his arms, allowing Yuuta to fall into them. He didn’t care that the ropes were digging into both of their skin, they kissed slowly, different from when Yuuta first kissed him earlier in the night. There was no rush, only the swelling affection inside both of them as they relaxed into each other's arms.

[levbolton]

Terminal ilness harukai au when

(Haruka that’s 27 and murai that’s 30 live together. Murai is a tattoo artist with a fear of medical needles and haruka is both an art historian and an art curator assistant at the insistence at the said art curator. They met when Haruka wa still in university through the tattoo studio (haruka got a bunch of piercings and some tattoos by murai). He has 2 jobs bcs they plan on moving out and buying their own place and Yakumo’s tattoo artist licence isn’t as strong as Haruka’s office job for the bank loan. So he sacrifices more of his free time, of his time to spend with yakumo, or to paint on his own (because he likes to paint) for more money.

Maybe i should mention it here, but Yakumo in this au (i made this up last autumn or so when we didn’t have his backstory) is from a small island close to tokyo, more like a village boy, and haruka was quite well off with parents that were both teachers (one math the other one chemistry), his sisters were also in good fields (eldes was a writer, 2nd a bussineswoman and the youngest a biology student), and they never judged him for pursuing art.

At the start of the story (late august) haruka gets to work on a project to bring the helene kroller muller’s van gogh collection to japan (this did happen, that’s why there are blp x van gogh goodies), only that at the same time one of his workmates gets pregnant. So as the time passes haruka gets more work, bcs at some point the pregnant woman has to go on maternity leave. And you know, he starts to lose weight, although the blood works are fine, there’s nothing abnormal. But he loses weight, and he gets more tired, he can’t even climb the stairs to their 3rd floor apartment anymore (he takes the lift) but he also works late nights and he starts to miss sleep so it must be it. Even if he tried to go to sleep sometimes he can’t fall asleep. Yeah, this must be the work. But quitting isn’t an option because he really does want to bring to life that van gogh exposition (i dont think there’s any van gogh in japan) and soon they’d be able to get that loan and everything will be fine.

However, even his personality does change, he’s more irritable, he doesn’t take some stuff as seriously as he should. And this leads to a few fights with yakumo that gets hurt in the process. As if his lover is becoming someone else he didn’t yet know.

And then one day something does happen. And they go to the doctor for something more than just a regular check up. One person shouldn’t miss this much sleep or forget as many details if there isn’t something wrong, right?

The thing is, it takes a while for the doctors to find the exact cause for him. Mainly because it’s a rare malady, you don’t think abt it right off the bat, again it could’ve been just work burn out, no matter how good of a doctor you are stuff sometimes misses you (this is for fiction but please the real life specialists do know their job well most of the time). And when that answer comes, maybe it was better to not know

CJD, spoiler alert, it’s a fatal disease, there’s no cure for it. Once you’re diagnosed you know you’re gonna die. What the fuck, Haruka was still very much young… At this point, Haruka’s state was quite poor, obviously he had to quit his jobs, what good to work when you’re gonna die anyway? However, it wasn’t as easy as that, because Haruka couldn’t finish the preparation for the exposition he so wanted to see happen. He had to go to the hospital without even seeing any of the painting in real life. He quit and started to focus more on something he wanted more time for: to paint on his own, to create his own paintings, not research others’, be his own creator. Be an artist. And again, considering his state he couldn’t stay at home much longer, he needed medical care. (Sporadic Cjd is a rapid disease)

Despite that haruka was in a care centrum, he couldn’t spend all his time there with him. He still had to work, because if you don’t work you don’t have survival money. What a stupid thing, right? You can’t spend your time with the one that’s soon not going be there anymore because of such a frugal thing as money… fuck it….

It was around the middle of january when haruka went to the hospital. It was cold and he was supposed to stay in bed most of the time because it could affend him and speed the disease. One evening, after work, yakumo opened the door, and Haruka just couldn’t recognise him. “Who are you?” He’d ask, and maybe this is what made Yakumo realise he is indeed losing his other one.

There’s beauty in the snow, in that wintery loneliness. Haruka wanted to touch the snow. Yakumo didn’t allow it.

When his birthday came, he was but the ghost of a person he used to be. He couldn’t walk, he was using a trolley pushed by someone else to move around. Heck, he couldn’t even hold his brushes to paint anymore.

Spring came too, the snow melted, and seeing Haruka like that made Yakumo feel guilty. Haruka couldn’t recognise anyone that clearly, it would take him long moments until something inside his brain would light up and even longer until his body responded accordingly. Maybe he should’ve allowed him to play with the snow back then. He would die anyway. At this point it was just a matter of time until that day would come…

No matter how much you prepare for it, it always comes when you least expect it. Just another day on the job, another client, another tattoo. However, his phone rings and he wishes he wouldn’t have replied, it would’ve given him a few more moments of blissful ignorance

Haruka’s older sister called. Yakumo was already on his way to the hospital. It was the end. Haruka was no more and he couldn’t even be there for him in that moment…

But then he’d return home, to the same place he has lived with Haruka for years. The same appartement on the 3rd floor, quite spacious and in a nice neighbourhood. He has to give it up now.

(It’s too expensive for one person, but how fucked up it is to not be able to process your lover’s death bcs of such financial difficulties?))

This is a speed run summary of something i was thinking abt last year for 30k words. Cjd could advance quicker than this too.

[inochinoyomikata]

Inochi no Tabekata 2 ch 1-4 Translation

1-4 Asamiya Shinobu– Pursuit of Happiness Worldview

Why can’t we meet? I can’t even see her face. With that in mind, Asamiya Shinobu visited the hospital where Takatomo Miyuki was hospitalized.

He had nothing else to do. After class was over, he tried to talk to Otogiri, but he seemed to have something to do. For some reason, Otogiri must’ve been worried about Shiratama Ryuuko. There was also the idea that if Otogiri went to the infirmary to check on her, he would go with him. But he might get in the way so he can’t. He didn’t think it’d be a good idea for two guys to rush into the infirmary where a sick girl was resting. In general, he was not particularly close with Otogiri.

Takatomo was still in the intensive care unit. Of course, he would not be allowed in the ICU, and visitors who were not family had no way of knowing the patient’s condition. Takatomo’s mother was on the third floor of the main building where the ICU was located. Asamiya had long been called “Shinobu-kun” by her because her house was nearby. She told Asamiya about her daughter. She also had hopeful news.

“You know, Shinobu-kun, Miyu, she might be able to move from the ICU to the general ward. It won’t be long, but she might be able to get off the ventilator.”

“Is that so? That’s good for her. Um, is she conscious…?”

When Asamiya timidly asked, Takatomo’s mother’s eyes suddenly clouded over, becoming like old lenses that didn’t reflect anything. She shook her head.

After that, they talked for another fifteen minutes or so, but Asamiya mostly just answered what he was asked. They talked about things like school and Asamiya’s family.

When he was about to leave, Takatomo’s mother pleaded with him “Please, take care of yourself, Shinobu-kun.” No matter how careful you are, bad things will still happen. Of course, he can’t say such mean words. Asamiya just replied, “I’ll be careful.”

When he got home, as usual, no one was there. Asamiya had an older brother, but he entered a private university in Tokyo two years ago. In addition to his house loan, his brother’s school fees and remittances seemed to make it difficult for his family, and his parents were working hard. Both of them leave in the early morning and come home relatively late. Their small, two-story built-for-sale house was cluttered everywhere and had an indescribable peculiar smell.

Asamiya had decided that he would work part-time when he entered high school. He didn’t like studying, and he wasn’t suited for it, so it was unlikely he would go to a prestigious university like his brother. He got into a decent university, and he’d get a decent job. He was told if he somehow talked with his mother about that on New Year’s, he wouldn’t have to think about it from now on.

When he was taking in the laundry that had been hanging out to dry in their narrow garden, he suddenly became disgusted with everything. Asamiya stopped work halfway through and sat down at his living room table. His father often slept on the sofa, so he didn’t feel like sitting on it. He operated the remote to turn on the TV. He didn’t want to see it. He wanted it to make sound.

When he vaguely talked about his future on New Year’s Day, he was asked by his mother “is there anything you want to do?” and Asamiya immediately responded “Wha?” She laughed when he said, “Hurry up.” Asamiya thought about Miyu. What happened to Takatomo Miyuki?

If he remembered correctly, Takatomo used to say that she wanted to be an ice cream shop owner. For some reason, some girls wanted to be ice cream makers. She would change again when she became a junior high student. What was likely was a nurse or a childcare worker. Or a beautician. There was nothing for Asamiya. Each time something like a questionnaire was properly written and submitted. Manga artist. Employee. Athlete. It was all a lie. Asamiya has never thought of wanting to be something, or wanting to do something.

What about Takatomo? Something must have happened. Takatomo was a solid person, clearly she was, and she got along well with various types of men and women. Her grades were pretty good too. The exact opposite of Asamiya. Takatomo must have had a dream. But would she heal? Takatomo’s mother was hopeful that she would. She hoped she got better. Even Asamiya hoped so. To be honest, he didn’t believe that she would ever recover. Takatomo may not regain consciousness at this rate. Asamiya can’t help but wonder if he could not do something.

It was no use thinking about her.

He couldn’t do anything anyway.

He couldn’t do anything now, or in the future.

Asamiya turned off the TV with the remote. He would rather have sound than silence. He turned the TV on for it, but it was raspy and irritating.

He wanted to talk to someone. Anyone was fine. He wanted to be heard. To have no opposition. He had friends. Some people he had registered as friends in a game. However, with those friends, he could only talk about games and videos he was addicted to. Nine out of ten people got annoyed when he talked about anything else. He doesn't play games much these days. He couldn’t keep playing. There was no enjoyment. 

A smartphone notification sounded. Where did he put it? He found it on the edge of the table. Asamiya picked up the smartphone.

[You were invited to Hapieva. Let’s use a new SNS!] Such a notification was displayed on the screen.

“...Hapieva?”

Asamiya unlocked his smartphone. He found an unfamiliar icon. Hapieva. Had he installed such an app? He didn’t remember. 

“That’s kind of suspicious, but…”

When he launched it, he heard an explanation with an animation that Hapieva was an abbreviation for ‘Happy ever after,’ and that it was an SNS for many entertainers, artists, and streamers to participate anonymously. Photos that looked like celebrities flickered one after another. Among them were musicians and comedians that Asamiya knew, as well as streamers who were often the subject of internet news. Users could say anything. There was one caveat. Log in once every 24 hours. If you don’t log in, your account will be deleted, along with the log. Conversely, if you want to withdraw, you don’t have to log in.

“...That’s too much, isn’t that suspicious?”

When he unintentionally wryly smiled, the app instructed him to choose symbols. It seemed that the username was a combination of symbols, not letters. After randomly choosing four, another option appeared. Interests. Favorite things. He was not good at it. Good at this kind of thing. Don’t think too much, just answer appropriately. However, Asamiya’s hand stopped at the next question.

[Are you worried about something?

・Human relations, actually.

・Future things.

・About money.

・Love and affection.

・No dreams or hopes.

Choose as many as you’d like!]

“---No dreams or hopes, or something like that. Body and cover, also, right…”

It was terrible. Asamiya chose only [No dreams or hopes] and proceeded to the next step. As soon as the timeline screen was displayed, a message like [Welcome!] and [Nice to meet you~] popped up.

[Oh! Participant found! Nice to meet you!]

[Hope you’re comfortable~]

[People with no dreams or hopes, get along well.]

[Despair Alliance W]

[...I wonder if this is what you’re saying to me. It’s amazingly welcoming. Those who have no dreams or hopes, yes, but…]

The messages that flew to Asamiya eventually calmed down. But his timeline kept updating.

There were daily reports such as when people woke up, when they slept, what they ate, when something happened that made them feel uncomfortable, and that made them want to cry. There were also complaints. If someone laments, someone else will sympathize with them and encourage them to do their best.

It was a little strange. He didn’t see any objection that they didn’t want to hear complaints. Was everyone ignoring them? He wondered if Hapieva users didn’t think so. Was it an SNS used by open-minded people?

However, while skimming through messages such as [XXX’s Neapolitan is the best], [If XXX appears even for a moment, I will change the channel immediately], and [Tomorrow, I will go to XXX], Asamiya noticed it. This SNS seems to have a function to make some words obfuscated. Were they proper nouns? People’s names, places names, store names, etc.

“Is it that? Is it like privacy protection? It seems that people could be roughly identified by the name of the place or the name of the store. It seems that you couldn’t post images…”

Maybe negative remarks were filtered out and invisible. If that was the case, he wouldn’t even notice if someone scolded. If nobody noticed it, it was the same as not being condemned.

“...This is crap. It’s nothing but comfort.”

While thinking that, Asamiya couldn’t take his eyes off of Hapieva’s timeline. His fingers moved on their own.

It doesn’t matter what you spit out in a place like this.

If you feel empty, just stop.

[einprotagonist]

Going abroad...

Earlier, we've talked about how there are several dreams that a person carries, it is highly unlikely you don't have more than one dream. Ofcourse, you can rank them in an order where something is more important while others can be just peripheral options in your opinion.

And this blog is about me trying to go abroad, I'd earlier tried to explore options about how I can go study abroad. When I was in 6-7th standard, I'd talk to random people on internet who were from various different countries and I was fascinated with the lifestyle they had while I was proud of how much academically smarter I was when compared to some of older students too. But I wanted to explore, they had places which weren't awfully crowded and they had public facilities which were far better than ours. Yes, every land has it's own shitty side but I am not the one to dig shit when I'm dreaming.

During intermediate, I came to know about SAT exams which must have costed my dad almost 75% of his monthly salary at the time when he had to pay rents of 2 separate stays - me and family, pay for food and what not. We were basically drowning in loans I think but never restricted ourselves from trying to make life big. I gave the exam without much preparation and scores were a little above the average and were just about enough to secure 60-70% scholarship in a few universities in the USA - turns out that even if we were given a 100% scholarship then also my family wouldn't be able to pay for the cost of me living there. I immediately let the thought and dream pack its bag and leave. LOL.

Then in college times I was getting better at Automobile Engineering and was deeply invested into making a career out of it. Europe was a dreamland for cars and once again I started to check where I would be paying the least for education, be allowed for a part time job to pay my own living expenses during the masters degree and things did not fall into place. This time my university grades were not good enough to breeze me through and then pockets were already empty for this sort of arrangement to go ahead with. Plus there was this notion that I can keep trying after getting into job.

Well, 4 years have passed since I graduated and many things have happened, some may be well versed with all of those things but most will never know the complete details until they read about it here in future.

Now after all these years, and all these experiences... I think I want finally want to move out and make new moves. I've evaluated the current situations, the budget and options that are present in front of me. The decision on where to go has been pretty clear after initial analysis - Canada is the only place which checks all my boxes. My plan is to go for an MBA and find myself a job after completion of the course in order to support my family better while live my best life. That is right, I want this for myself more than anyone else. Which is how most of the dreams are I think, other factors like family or future generations will always benefit from the positive outcome.

So.. yeah I have just finished giving the English proficiency tests and it is still a very long way to go. I'd prefer to get admission into one of the renowned colleges and we will find out more in the aftermath.

[m0tel6mxzzy]

to add to what u said, I also think that many people with 9-5s and other more secure jobs dream of pursing more artistic jobs because they're more fulfilling for ur soul than a 9 to 5 but they can't take that leap because there's no guarantee an artistic career like acting, modelling, singing etc will work out and they can't afford to fail and have no job. repo babies don't need an income so they're free to take whatever leap because if they fail it doesn't matter

yeah definitely anon i get u!!! i remember in high school wanting to be an artist, and just being very upset with the fact i would have to pick a “real job” bc the arts tends to only be a financially secure job for the already rich and famous. i have a feeling if my parents were loaded rich, art would’ve been seen as something i would not need to be 100% able to monetize in order to have as a career, but rather a hobby i can go to school for just for fun.

essentially career in the arts was made w rich kids access in mind. i took up chemistry this semester bc of that. i was so desperate to have a “real job” only to realize i wasn’t prepared for the math. i tried to force myself to like chem, but i’m doing psychology next semester. literally if i was some sort of nepo baby, i could just quit college and not at all feel guilty abt the thousands in student loans my parents are helping pay. like, you know those rich kid youtubers who are financially well off and say college is useless when many of us don’t have the luxury of leaving w/o negotiating a career change or adjustments to continue it?????

literally if i’d been born to some famous supermodel or big name director/actor that would not cross my mind, i would never have felt inferior and guilty abt “wasting” money if my parents had an abundance to begin w and college wasn’t a necessity for me, but rather an option. i could’ve just as easily moved to la or something and my last name getting me jobs or whatever. that seems like an incredible privilege only nepo babies have yk????? normal ppl don’t get that, most of us have to be “realistic” and actor/model isn’t the first thing that pops into our heads, it’s usually a dream bc nepo babies just have that handed to them and those traveling expenses for shoots/scouting/flights cost money.

i also have a friend who’s a film major, and expressed to me how hard it is breaking into that industry and how she has marketing as a backup. literally so many of my friends who are arts majors also have some sort of major determined to be a little more secure as a back up, bc the prospect of their primary concentration not securing them a job will always be an issue. whereas nepo babies can walk into auditions and shoots and immediately land jobs, having no worry abt the travel expenses these entail unlike most actors/modes/etc who usually need backups.

[sapchat]

Uhh sorry but thrift/second hand stores exist with tonsss of cheap clothing options without child and forced labor and much better quality. And if you’re on a tight budget (or even in general) you don’t need to be buying clothes constantly to where your income would be regularly impacted. I haven’t bought clothes in so long, only doing so after my old ones no longer fit, and even then I went to the thrift store and bought almost a whole new wardrobe for like $50ish. Also to complain about how you can’t afford any other clothes so you need to shop at SHEIN … just to brag about your vibrator that is not as much as a necessity as clothing nor relevant to your lame excuse about why you need SHEIN because clothes are expensive … do you even hear yourself?

Hi there! So I live in an very rural area of my country where we don’t really have thrift stores and if we do it’s furniture thrift or the clothes aren’t in my size so it’s actually very hard to ‘go to a thrift store and buy a ‘’whole new wardrobe’’ (which even if I wanted to buy a whole new wardrobe that’d likely cost me thousands) and also I never stated when I bought the sex toy. I haven’t ordered from SHEIN in almost 2 years, about the time it started coming out about how bad SHEIN workers were treated, I actually had to even go to my bank account and look up the charges as shein doesn’t even recognize me as a past orderer. Shit honestly I stopped buying from SHEIN once they started labeling me as a fucking 3X in the plus size category 🙄

Now if I was wanting to brag about the dildo and shopping from SHEIN (not vibrator my vibrator is from Love Honey!) then I could’ve just been a cunt and gone “😜 sounds like you need an orgasm here’s the link bestie!”

@rememberwren (sorry for the tag but if someone wants backstory then by all means! 💛) Wren themself stated “no judgement it’s their personal choice not to shop there” in the same message of me saying “if I find a good reputable site that has a nice looking thrusting dildo” then trust me I’ll look into buying one from them.

Now moving to the comment about the “why buy sex toys if you can’t even buy clothes if my budget is that impacted.” Comment, now moving past if this wasn’t just about you being upset about me being a past buyer from SHEIN, sometimes people have to buy uniforms for work. I went from working a job that paid me $24 an hour without have a strict dress code other than “dress nice” to being jobless and no one hiring me for almost 5 months just for a place with a very strict dress code to hire me.

At that point I had spent the savings I had from the job I previously worked as I had student loans and other monthly payments. So I had to go to my father and my little brother and borrow money from them (which reminds me I need to pay him back) so I could buy some clothes that would work for the new jobs dress code and even then I alternate between 4 shirts as that’s what I could afford at the time of me being hired.

So just because you live somewhere where you have access to good priced clothes, are able to get to an area/store that has thrift stores and you live a different lifestyle than I doesn’t mean everyone lives the same as you. Everyone has a different life and differing opinions on where to buy clothes from. And even if I wanted to shop in a clothing store to avoid what is now called ‘Fast Fashion’ then I have to drive almost an hour to 2+ hours away to even get to a store that probably won’t carry my size and will still be expensive for ‘eco friendly clothes’

Now my last point, it’s kinda hypocritical (and I mean in the nicest way I can as nothing these days is ethical considering price of living vs price of pay) you have an issue with shein and how they work their laborers then you should look into how silk and cotton is farmed and the ethical issues in there, and how polyester is made, those 3 make up the majority of clothing being worn today!

[klarkkent71]

Europe, Returning to America, Upcoming Move, and Future Planning :)

4-26-2024

I haven’t blogged or just had a moment of peace to really share my thoughts buts since I was released early today from work and pretty much have a free day, I figured now would be the perfect time.  Since my last upload from here I just returned from Europe but never really shared anything so I’ll just break everything down into sectors.

Europe

Last year I spent 5 months in Europe as part of my job and it was blessing because I was exposed to so much.  I had the opportunity to be TDY there which included having my own car, living in a hotel and making $100 extra a day to cover my food expenses.  Of course, my priority was always on work and doing the best I could but I took advantage of every opportunity I could outside of work which included some awesome travels to other country.  I was able to check Paris France off my list which always been on my dream list and visited Germany, and Prague as well.  Poland was also an awesome place to live.  The food and activities there were cheap and the local population were friendly.  I enjoyed going out to explore and interact with people and I valued how easy-going things were over there compared to life in America.  At restaurants tipping isn’t expected a norm there but I did it anyway.  When eating there the restaurants are not trying to rush you and you can literally sit and enjoy all day If you want.  The public transportation was also great and you’re able to take a train or plane to many places without having to spend a lot.  The only thing I hated about most the places I was able to go was the language barrier.  It’s only a handful of people that could truly speak English good but it was great interacting with others using mobile apps.  Maybe I’ll share photos and videos of my full European experience one day.  With the extra income I was able to buy my life membership into Kappa and continued to build up on my savings and stock investments.

Returning to America

Coming back to America was great and it’s truly no place like home.  When I arrived back, I took some personal time to regroup and I proceeded to attend two events.  One was my college homecoming which I missed out on for a few years and seeing my friends and peers from college is like a family reunion.  The second event I attended was Carnival in Miami.  It’s nothing like dressing up and just enjoying vibes with people from across the United States and Island.  You will be on your feet walking for a while If you join a band but I’m glad I was prepared and knew what I took to survive in hot environments. 

Upcoming Move-Thoughts of Retirement

In July I will be moving to my next duty assignment.  I have 18 years of service altogether and 14 years of active duty.  In those 14 years of active duty, I have moved 8 times and I am truly numb to it by now.  I look forward to just enjoying the vacation time at home but these moves never get easy.  But the time I really start to get settled I have to be uprooted from my job and start over somewhere else.  I have also come to the realization that I am on the downturn of my career.  I will probably serve anything from the next 5 to 8 years and that will be it for my time as a servicemember.  The Army has truly been great to me but I look forward to the next steps in life.  I’m still torn between getting out and going to law school at home in Louisiana, starting my own logistics business, or taking on a job as a contractor or government employee.  As long as I stay out of the trouble the sky is truly the limit.

Financial   

For the first time since 2009 I am debt free and do not owe anyone or any business a thing.  I was able earn educational degrees and was getting paid the whole time to it.  I had multiple angles as a service member to not pay any student loan back and the first one finally came thru and wiped everything away.  I also have no vehicle payment either.  My last car and truck I bought off the showroom floor and had it financed but, in the future, I plan to just pay everything upfront and shift my focus on enjoying life experiences vs having a really nice vehicle. 

The next time I blog I will be settled in at my new home and settling in my next job.  I just ask that ya’ll continue to leave me in your prayers and I will be doing the same for all of yall.