#I also have the flu so my emotions are all out of whack rn

[iwishiwasntaprocrastinator]

You know that feeling when you remember a WIP fanfic on ao3 you really liked but hasn’t been updated in a while, and then you find it but the author has (orphan_account) on it

[bugclub]

ALL THA QUESTIONS

it wouldn’t let me copy the numbers ;:) so here we go fellas

Who hurt you the most?geez idk maybe my dad altho in retrospect he was right and i was wrong but he said some really messed up stuff to me sometimes and he also was usually the reason i would ever c** my***f

Who have you hurt the most?probably my dad as well. i was fucked up as a teenager and i know it was hell for him

Who do you miss the most?no offense but my dad. i just rly miss ig how life use to be when i lived with him.

Who do you want out of your life the most?the bitches and freaks that send me anon hate. begone demons

Who had the biggest negative impact on you?the white trash xanax junkies i met in 2014.

Who do you wish you could be honest with?i suppose emilio. im not holding any secrets in but i dont tell him a lot of stuff like when my emotions are dangerously out of whack or im having a panic attack or anything like that. i think if i were more open about stuff like that we’d communicate better when im actually freaking out

Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?hmm.. coworkers come to mind just cause sometimes i dont agree with things they say but i dont want to make working with them uncomfortable by saying anything. other than that just crushes from my past probably

Who would the world be better off without?donald trump, racists, rapists, heroin dealers, etc

Who do you wish you’d treated differently?grace…i use to not like her because someone was feeding me lies…im so sorry grace my beautiful raspberry girl

What was the worst day of your life?probably the day i woke up in a daze post being raped with all my money stolen from my car . or i suppose the day it actually happened

What’s your greatest fear?losing my mind

What’s your biggest insecurity?hmm…not sure. honestly im not very insecure like i know i have insecurities but nothing comes to mind immediately. i wouldnt know til im insecure about it

What’s your biggest regret?getting hooked on xanax

Describe your ideal world.boondock saints are in charge and they’re my best friends

Describe your personal hell.donald trump is in charge and my best friend is my bong rosalina

What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?damn idek, probably just that every day of my life i wish emilio and i would meet sooner than we did but obviously there’s no point in that

What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?one time i let a girl borrow my phone in hs and her nosy ass went thru my shit and found…sensitive content. i was embarrassed for a long time. i only recently remembered this happened

What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?various evenings at my job at dominos. i fucking hate those bitches

What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?in the mental hospital

What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?this took me forever but it was DEFINITELY my bad trip. i thought i was dead lmao

What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?probably also during that acid trip. i thought i was not coming out and this was it. it felt like real life was melting away and i was gonna be stuck in some blank universe alone. horrible. im gagging

What’s the most frantic you’ve ever felt?i dont really get frantic ever. im good at staying calm especially in dire times

What’s the best case scenario for your future?emilio and i get married and have a family. i dont really want or need anything else

What’s the worst case scenario for you future?i try heroin get really fucked up and die alone

What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever felt?the pain from the last time i punched a wall was ridiculous and came in big waves which was awful. utis can hurt a lot and im prone to those for some reason. when i had the flu my body ached like ive never felt

What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt?i dont want to talk about this one

Describe a time you felt like a hypocrite.i dunno.

Describe a time you felt like a traitor.obviously getting with emilio at first…but ik its not actually that messed up now so 💁 irrelevant

Describe a time you felt like a hero.i dont know. i use to help out my junkie friends a lot

Describe a time you felt inhuman.almost always

Describe a time you felt like a failure.in fourth grade i got an f in math because i kept putting the plus sign on the wrong side of the problem and my teacher failed me on all my homework. no one was even mad at me but i couldn’t look anyone in the eye for days

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?i dont know..i use to spew out hate in like 2010-2012. i hate that

What are you proudest of?my relationship with emilio, our good dogs, my recovery (not rly done yet but so far so good)

What’s your relationship with your family like?good. weird and a little distant at time but good

What’s your relationship with religion like?non-existent

Talk about someone you’ve lost.eh.

Talk about someone who abandoned you.eh.

Talk about a desire you have that scares you.not sure this is a thing for me

What’s something you wish you were capable of?wish i had more motivation for things that could make my future better like college

What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?not rly afraid of anything id do

Describe the kind of life you wish you’d been born into.mine was fine

Describe your worst heartbreak.i was subjected to things i shouldn’t have been because of bad timing. i wouldnt have wanted it any other way and things worked out

Describe your worst disappointment.not sure dont want to dig this deep rn

Have you ever taken a fall for someone?yes. and i still get shit on for a lot of it

Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?i honestly dont think so. correct e if im wrong

Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?never on purpose (so far)

Have you ever done serious emotional harm to someone?probably. my bad

Have you ever self-harmed?yes

Have you ever attempted suicide?yes

Have you ever stolen something?yes

Have you ever cheated on someone?no

Have you ever been cheated on?no

Have you ever taken revenge on someone?nah

Have you ever seriously considered killing somone?yes 😂 oops

Have you ever betrayed someone who trusted you?allegedly

Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?yes

thanks 💝🍓

if anyone reads all tis i love you and urr one of my best friends