#I apologize for the imagery of the doe with a spear in the heart

[yannaryartside]

The bear and The doe

[pseudofaux]

1/2 Pseu, the last couple Slings I rq’ed some dirty talk & MA’AM did u deliver. But I realized I never thanked/gave feedback like a dummy so here I am! They were so so SO good (fenrir esp & SIRIUS?! 😳 woof), pls dont doubt ur DT writing skills bc they were all so hot, /very/ in character (I could practically hear Kyles!) & beautifully written to boot. Ur prose has so much personality, it is such a joy to read <3 & I have def read those pieces. many. times. I just want to thank u & apologize for asking u 2 go out of ur comfort zone. When I get the chance I will def tip u for the trouble (& commission if im brave enough lol)

Thank you so, so much for this! I really appreciate hearing that the dirty talk worked for you, that’s the best. When other writers do that right it GETS ME FEELING, so knowing that might be true outward as well is!!! a lot and very cool! But if you are this nice to me I will CRY. 🥺💙💙💙 SO LET’S GET TO THE GOOD SH*T, I am so glad you asked for this because Faust is one of the best characters to get n a s t y with, the holier the man, the, uh... holier our holes? Something like that? ANYWAY:

CW: degrading language (”whore”, “slut”), sadism, some sacrilegious thinking  regarding Jesus’ crucifixion (this is quick and about related imagery, but I’m putting it in the warnings just in case), depravity in a church. If any of the stuff in the ask squicks you out, keep yourself safe and turn away. 💙

(Requests are open through May 1 if you would like to get one in, dear reader!)

“A whore in my chapel,” he muses. It’s so soft, his voice is so very soft, it makes the words feel funny in her head. She knows they are lashes but they feel like petals, and when her eyes close it is not to hide from the words but to shut out everything except his voice so she does not miss any others. She wants everything he has to say. She wants anything he has to give her. All the thorns of the crown, every scrape of the doubter’s spear slicing through the flesh of her belly. Simply knowing him—as though there were anything simple about it— has warped her. That’s why she stepped through the doors into the dim chapel, lit more by moonlight than the sparse candles at the altar.

He tilts his head as he considers her. She is just beyond the threshold and she is just deciding she should beg him to let her stay when he moves closer.

“Open,” he says, but he is pulling at her mouth with one gloved finger as he begins talking so she has no chance to obey on her own. She wants to! Why is he taking that from her? She leans forward as though it will help her anticipate his next request sooner.

She is not prepared at all for him to grab her by the chin or come so close. Her heart knows the joy of an entire flock of freed birds when she thinks he is going to kiss her. There has never been a time when she blinked so fast in her life—

He comes close enough for warmth, but not touch. He spits between her open lips. “Move that around with your tongue. Get the filth out of your sluttish mouth,” he tells her. She is beyond shocked but she does as he says. It should be revolting to have someone else’s saliva in her mouth like this, but she is so gone for him she doesn’t even want to swallow, wants to keep that piece of him mixing with her, safe and warm. When he takes a step back and lets go, she falls to her knees with her palms up like some kind of penitent. She doesn’t mean to. It just feels right.

She could be in a comfortable bed right now, instead of on the unswept floor of a chapel, all her worshipful inclination aimed away from the altar and toward a very dangerous man. Will her foolishness mean they find her in a ditch somewhere... Will they find her at all? Or will he send her back on unsteady feet with her own juice tickling her legs as it travels from her core to the ground? She can’t fathom what will seem most cruel to him, what he’s most likely to do.

That’s not really a part of her interest. She’s not sure she could explain the interest if she tried, but it is the full shape of her heart now, and directs her nighttime steps to him no matter what her brain tells her otherwise. If she knew where he was during the day, she would try to find him then, too. Her comfortable bed is nice but it does not make her blood sing like he does. The pain he gives, and his presence, those are things she has come to need.

And he fulfills those needs. He’s generous with pain and he is always there when he gives it to her. She nearly swoons to the floor thinking about it, and only the thought that she might lose out on time with him keeps her upright and dutifully swirling his spit in her mouth.

“Get up, imbecile,” he says, and he points further into the chapel! She is being invited even more inside! She could weep! “Lean back against that pew. You’re not even worthy of kneeling in this place.”

She’s not. Somewhere in her there is a heart that is kind and good, and a person who tries to do her best, but the moment she left the mansion to come here she was guided only by selfish lust. It’s what makes her stand up so fast. She doesn’t even know what he will do if she manages to please him... so far she has only experienced his sharpness, and it has worked to hook her as surely as a fish.

Her feet are moving but she is lost in an imagining that he is piercing the side of her mouth when he shouts “Swallow already!” at her, and it makes her jump. It also makes her so, so happy that he was paying so much attention. Every echo of his rage is like choir music. She swallows immediately. In her rush her throat betrays her and she feels like she will choke, but before she can stop herself she coughs and then keeps trying to clear her windpipe. His hand is on her upper arm and he shakes her like a rag doll. It does not help, but it feels like a dance.

Faust grits out “Get. Over there.” and she gets, still coughing. It is uncomfortable and her eyes are watering but she longs for him more than air and he let go of her arm when he pushed her toward the pews. So her steps are sad ones.

She puts her back and her hands onto the curve of the pew. It’s wide, smooth wood beneath her. The sturdiness brings her head down from the clouds in time to hear the slide of the book bundle he has kicked toward her, just in time to move her ankle out of the way. He laughs and mutters something she can’t hear. She tries very, very hard not to pout about it.

“I don’t have all night,” he says flatly. “Put your foot up and show your sin to me.”

It’s a scramble to comply-- should she hold up her skirt first or put a foot on the books and then raise the fabric?-- but her body just moves, eager to comply. This is why she’s here. As much as for him, she is in this chapel for what only he can do.

He rolls his eyes as she wads up her skirt in her hands. Her stockings can’t be clean after that time on the chapel floor, and there is no way her underwear is without a telltale patch of lust, not with the way all his power has been pooling between her legs since before she even touched the other side of the chapel doors. When he steps close she can actually feel a tiny but undeniable gush of arousal slipping out of her so easily it might as well be her self-control. It’s mortifying. She hopes he sees.

Then he is close, close enough for one of his hands to slip behind the leg that goes straight to the ground and stroke it, which makes her bite back a moan. She has to clench her teeth shut just to withstand the gentle contact without falling over. When he pulls her leg up, her knee rests beside his hip and she begins to shudder so hard she fears she will convulse.

“Stop that this instant,” he hisses, and his fingers dig into the back of her thigh so hard all that gently-stroked flesh is too stupid to feel the hurt right away. It comes to her quickly, though. She bites back another sound, something more vulnerable.

He watches her, then leans in beside her ear. “You put your foot on a stack of bibles in a church,” he whispers to her, every syllable touching his teeth the way she wishes he would touch her. “And you spread your legs like you think someone wants to see your mess.” He makes the most derisive, delicious noise, and her eyes roll so far back into her head it nearly hurts. More words, more words, please...

He takes her by the chin again, and when he lets go of her leg she knows she needs to keep it exactly where it was, no matter how precarious this makes her balance, while his hand comes up to slap her face. “You don’t tell me one wretched thing, slut,” he enunciates carefully. She did not even realize her thoughts had become words. She quickly tries to apologize and he slaps her other cheek. 

“Shut up,” he says, syrup sweet, and slides his hand back under her thigh. It’s the exact tone of a bully. She shuts up. She shudders, too, from the way it seeps into her and makes her warm all over.

He lets go of her chin and pulls the front of her underwear into his fist. He keeps pulling until the soft, well-laundered muslin digs at the back of her hips and her sex at the same time, right up against the tender flesh of her holes, and makes her yelp. He must have measured his strength exactly, she hears the snap of two threads but the fabric holds. He could rip it from her with ease. Why is he not doing that? He gives the muslin just a little slack, then pulls it even tighter and she feels like a marionette, all her limbs out of her own control. Were it not for her hands on the back of the pew, she would be a mess on the floor instead of a mess barely standing

Faust growls, “Be still, sinner-- and keep this leg up-- or I’ll make it so much worse.”

She keeps the leg up without his hand beneath it. She will never again doubt the existence of miracles.

He pulls the soaked fabric aside, pulls back his newly freed hand, and slaps her right on her slit without any preamble. The shock of the hit is gold and white-blue behind her eyes, and her sob is ugly, an animal’s sound in a place meant for prayerful people. He says nothing as she whimpers through the hurt of every little ripple of post-pain, the way the tingles stay focused on the flesh that took the hit. It feels like a scorch on both sides of her sex that she cannot escape; how appropriate that inescapable he put that feeling on her, in her.

Belatedly she realizes that she did stay still, and that calms her spirit, strokes her in time with his thumbs on the inside of each thigh. High like heaven. Soft as a dream. He may even be shushing her tenderly instead of telling her to be silent, but she is so delirious she cannot be sure. She can feel the way she is even more wet, because the slickness makes the burn better. Not in a healing way, in a way that clarifies the precious, god-given sharpness he provides. She is sinful and filthy and so far below worthy of his touch, but he does touch her, he talks to her and touches her, and when Faust does those things she feels very holy. There is a silence in her soul that makes it a little easier to ignore the way her body is screaming from pain and desperate want.

The slap hurts. It takes her a long time to come down from the pain and the heat. But when she is silent, he sneers and stops stroking her thighs, and then he does it again.

[fatesdeepdive]

Entry 11: Archduke Silly Bot

I built a new Mess Hall and Accessory Shop, but before I could play with them, my castle was attacked! By spooky ghost men from the Astral Plane I mean, I summoned them, but still, the castle is in danger. Fifteen enemies showed up to try and seize the fort. Lilith was supposed to help me fight, but just stayed in her pond and did nothing. Dumb fish.

The invaders were tough, but focused more on smashing stuff than killing my Units. Unfortunately, there was a casualty. Kenshi, our valiant POW who we force to serve as cannon fodder, was slain in battle. I mean, not really, because I’m playing Casual mode. Still, I renamed the castle Fort Kenshi in his honor.

The invasion gave me the points needed to build two new structures: the Rod Shop and the Smithy. The Mess Hall can be used to slightly boost unit stats for one battle. The Rod Shop can be used to buy various consumable items. Smithy can be used to reforge Weapons; for instance, I gave Kenshi a new bronze club called Kenshi’s Whacker. The Accessory shop can be used to buy and equip fun accessories, like the bath towel that is all Kenshi is allowed to wear.

Support: Jakob/Mozu

C: Jakob finds Mozu crying, because she had a nightmare about the death of her family, and comforts her.

B: Jakob tells Mozu that she is fortunate to have had something to lose; he explains his abusive childhood that ended with him being sold into servitude of the royal family and tells Mozu to hold onto her memories of her village.

A: Mozu begins training so she can be strong enough to protect everyone and thanks Jakob for looking out for her.

S: Jakob proposes to Mozu, asking her to help him create memories worth cherishing.

Review: This one was short, but good. It could have very easily just been a throwaway conversation about Jakob’s fanciness contrasting Mozu’s lack of sophistication. Instead, it was a genuinely touching conversation that expanded both characters and made me love Jakob even more.

Support: Orochi/Saizo

C: Orochi tells Saizo to stop being mean, because it’s ruining his reputation with the ladies, and threatens to take matters into her own hands.

B: Orochi reveals that when they first met, when Saizo was a child and she was...whatever age she was, she predicted misfortune in his future, which scared Saizo so much he wet his pants. She then reveals that she’s told everyone. Saizo runs away to salvage his reputation.

A: Saizo comes back, furious. Apparently, Orochi lied about telling everyone and Saizo, in his attempts to explain that he only peed his pants because he was a child, ended up spreading the story for her.

S: Saizo has turned over a new leaf and is trying to be nicer thanks to Orochi’s mind games. Orochi confesses that, when she fortolled misfortune in Saizo’s future, she must have actually been talking about his father. Because, as we all know, Saizo has not suffered any misfortune in his life. Also they get married.

Review: This one was decent. Saizo ignoring Orochi’s threats at first then ruining everything in his struggle to fix things is amusing, and the duo have better chemistry than most couples in this game.

Support: Azura/Corrin (Birthright)

Notice the Birthright parenthetical. Corrin and Azura, the main duo, actually have different conversations in different routes, which is neat.

C: Corrin and Azura take a walk together. Azura compares the nice day to Castle Shirasagi. She then apologizes for bringing up her childhood, which she feels belonged to Corrin.

B: Azura asks Corrin about her childhood and Corrin explains both the forced isolation and the constant companionship from Elise and the servants. Corrin actually says she misses the Northern Fortress.

A: Corrin and Azura reflect on their different opinions of Nohr: Azura’s feelings of it being the evil she escaped and Corrin’s of it being a home she misses. They discuss the fact that no place is truly good or bad, something the game’s writers needed to be reminded of, and vow to bring peace.

S: Corrin states that his good memories of Nohr all stem from kind people and vows to be that kind of person for her. The duo exchange some insanely on the nose promises about being fine in a dark pit if they’re together and their fates being intertwined. Now, this may feel like incest because they share parents and siblings, but I actually think this one is okay? As long as there isn’t some late game twist that makes them cousins or something, this seems good.

Review: Overall, a fairly good conversation. Corrin’s feelings on Nohr are more nuanced than this game normally is and the idea that Nohr isn’t evil because of the people is a good sentiment.

Support: Setsuna/Subaki

C: Subaki and Setsuna are assigned to train new recruits together. The new recruit is Kenshi, I have decided. Subaki, worried that Setsuna will be Setsuna and mess everything up, does everything himself.

B: Setsuna just wanders off in the middle of training new recruits and Subaki tries to help her be a better leader.

A: Setsuna attempts to resign from teaching, but Subaki tells her that her wandering off actually helped the recruits because she’s observant, I guess. Setsuna does not retire from teaching.

S: Setsuna tells Subaki that she likes him then wanders off because she’s done talking. Subaki chases after her and proposes.

Review: This one was mediocre. Setsuna is always fun, but this support conversation lacked a good conflict and was resolved in a dumb way. Setsuna wandering off in the middle of a confession is fun, but the relationship wasn’t built up at all.

Birthright Chapter 9: Land of Gods

The gang head to Izumo, a neutral kingdom south of Hoshido. The guards, recognizing Azura, let the party in. Corrin asks about the missing princes and is told no battle happened near Izumo. No war in Ba Sing Se and all that jazz. Archduke Izana approaches them, looking like a wise and calm leader. Then he talks and they realize that he’s a silly boy.

They ask him about the battle on the border of Izumo and he tells them he knows nothing about it. Izana invites the gang to rest and be treated by his healers. He also invites Corrin and Sakura to go to some special spa healing in his deep relaxation chamber which is absolutely not suspicious.

The deep relaxation chamber is an execution chamber. Nohrian soldiers march in to kill Corrin and Izana reveals that he is actually a Nohrian mage named Zola. His voice sounds like Gollum and he has this weird jester hat. I cannot wait for the part of the game where we kill him.

Right before Corrin is executed, half of the Nohrian soldiers attack the other half. It’s revealed the soldiers are actually our soldiers in disguise. Where they got the Nohrian costumes, I do not know. Maybe they looted them from some corpses? Also, how did they know this was happening? And how did they seamlessly blend into the Nohrian army? I have many questions.

Hinoka explains that she knew Zola wasn’t the real Izana because no royal would ever act like such a silly boy, because she has never read any history textbook. The battle begins.

Something I haven’t mentioned yet that I want to mention: if an enemy has a super effective weapon, a red balloon with an exclamation mark appears above them as you move your unit. Nice touch.

On turn two, two new characters march into battle: a Samurai named Hinata and a Spear Fighter named Oboro. The two of them are looking for Takumi. The two bicker. Hinata is an idiot and is thirsty for Takumi. Oboro fantasizes about killing all of the Nohrian scum and Hinata tells her to chill out. These two idiots are Takumi’s retainers. Corrin goes up to the duo and recruits them.

Hinata

A samurai and one of Takumi’s retainers. His personal skill, Triple Threat, hurts enemies who lower him below half health. His design is fine, I guess. I think they’re going for a meathead thing from his introduction and his scars and muscles, but he looks way too young. Personality wise, he seems to be kinda dumb, but not enough to be funny.

Oboro

A spear fighter who is really goddamn thirsty for Takumi and is also really racist. Her unit description is: Loves fashion, hates Nohr. Her personal skill makes her do extra damage to Nohrians, which is useful because we are at war with Nohr. Fates has a bad tendency of reducing characters to a single character trait and we’ve already been shown three traits for Oboro, which I assume will dominate every line she ever says. Seriously, we’ve known her for a minute and she’s said Nohrian Scum a dozen times.

This map was good. It was a standard fighting enemies in a castle map; nothing special, but then again it didn’t need to be special. After the battle, Zola says that he’d rather die than tell Corrin anything. He then throws a smokescreen and runs away, only to be attacked by Leo.

Leo says he’s going to kill Zola for being a disgrace to Nohr and Corrin says, no, don’t do that, don’t hurt another Nohrian. Except, Corrin has killed dozens of Nohrians at this point. Leo yells at Corrin for being a traitor and gives her Zola to keep as a pet. Corrin reflects on how Leo has gotten stronger, but also become more cruel, since her betrayal of Nohr.

The gang meets the real Izana. Yeah he’s every bit as weird and wacky as Zola was. He tells the gang about hearing that the princes were near the bottomless canyon and reads Corrin’s fortune. He sings the next verse of Ocean’s Grey Waves, implying that this song is genuinely a prophecy about this game.

In the white light, a hand reaches through

A double-edged blade cuts your heart in two

Waking dreams fade away,

Embrace the brand-new day

So, let’s see. First off, a lot of imagery about light, which is Hoshido’s aesthetic. Not sure what verse one means, but verse two is some heavy foreshadowing for Chapter 26. I’ll talk about it more then. Verses three and four are about Corrin leaving the fake life in Nohr and returning to Hoshido. Probably.

Azana also predicts that the princes are both alright, so the gang heads off to find them. That night, Azura talks to Corrin about the prophecy, saying that it is the lyrics to a song she was taught as a child that now seems to be about Corrin.

[sidespromptblog]

The King Returns

Summary: The night that Remus and Roman cease to be, and King returns aren't exactly what one would call a messy or even a climactic one. But it is eventful.

It was midnight when he finally woke up, the aching of his bones was the first thing that greeted him upon returning to consciousness and abruptly sitting up. The second was the sound of his own gasping sputters as oxygen squeezed itself from his lungs for what felt like the first time in years, his chest and his very heart ached as he sat there for what felt like forever as the minutes ticked on by. He could see the grand soft golden walls of his bedroom, mixed with a lovely deep shade of green that looked like the finest cut emerald. Everything around him seemed so utterly familiar, and yet… like it was all from a distant dream. Many of the things in his room felt as if they belonged to him, from the scabbard that laid by his bedside table, to the corkboard that had a whole bundle of red string connecting sheets and papers. Was any of this really his, who could say?

There was one thing that he did know, however. And that was the fact that he was breathing… he was alive.

Standing took quite a lot out of him, like a newly born doe attempting to rise up on unsteady legs, he couldn’t help but giggle at the imagery of someone like him floundering around almost taking a nosedive to his lush red carpet that had quite a few mysterious stains on it. It was interesting, finding a new way to walk, even standing was its own adventure as everything around him seemed to change as soon as he stood up stumbling on his own two feet.

“Well, that was a lovely mistake!” He couldn’t help yet another laugh as he glanced around at all of the books that lined his walls, the scrolls and quills that looked to be quite old despite the closed laptop atop his desk pushed out of the way for two separate plates of food that had grown cold as untouched as they were. Was the food poisoned? Had it been tampered with when he had been unconscious? Would it make his stomach explode in continuously gruesome fashions until there was nothing more than a pile of meat and gore on the floor? Or maybe it would transform him into an animal, like a slug that would have to slowly and carefully slink his way through the thick carpet in a valiant effort to find a way to reverse the transformation. Maybe it would just straight up.. or rather gay- up make his eyeballs explode right out of his head, as odd as that would be.

Maybe it would even-

Whatever his train of thought had been about to trail down to, it stopped dead as soon as the noises of someone else outside of his room reached his ears.

Others? Others who knew him? Who knew of him?

Glancing at the clock, he found it highly doubtful that anyone other than himself would even be awake at this time. How many people would be awake at five in the morning of all times?

Regardless of the question that was soon about to be answered, he seized the golden and green cloak before fastening it to his shoulders, he had to look presentable after all as he stalked towards the door. Peering out, there was a single lit doorward in the hallway that stretched out before him, all except for one, one that had a faint light gleaming behind it. Not enough to have a major light on, but rather something like a desk lamp on or something. Regardless, he moved forward with the purpose of a thousand noble steeds, as he ventured towards the stairs that led down into the kitchen where the odd noises had originated from.

He should have brought his spear with him, that was... if he even had one, to begin with.

His hands remained curled into fists as he slunk around the wall, his back pressed firmly against it so that no demon could sneak up behind him. His footsteps were as silent as could be as he reared his body around the corner, ready to tell off whoever was there at this time of the night, just for his body to abruptly freeze as soon as his eyes landed on who was standing there next to the coffee pot waiting for it to fill up before he went back upstairs.

He felt his mouth go dry, all while a strange lump of emotions swelled in his throat.

He knew this man, he knew him well before… before… Before it had happened to him.

“Logan,” The name was like the whisper of a promise as he rushed forward not even bothering with the silence that he had been dutiful to uphold, happiness unlike anything he had ever felt before blooming like a wild rose stalk in his chest. Piercing his heart with its thorns, leaving him to bleed out for this side, and for this side alone. “Logan.”

He raised his hands as soon as Logan’s cup had come clattering down against the surface of the counter before swiftly spinning around at the sound of his own softly whispered name. His mouth opened, ready to spout off an explanation, an apology, or just an excuse as to why he was up so early. But all of that died on his lips as soon as his eyes landed on the form of the person that stood in front of him, perhaps for the first time in his life the logical side was completely and utterly speechless as his mouth remained open and gaping at the other side in front of him as his eyes burned and stung with the threat of oncoming tears. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t even know if he could say anything. The words lingered on his tongue, waiting to escape his open mouth.

But… he couldn’t, not until the side in front of him finally touched him. Cupping the side of his face, proving to him that this wasn’t some sleepless hallucination that he was suffering from given his lack of overall rest. He had never been the best with emotions, even at the best of times, but now… now he felt as if he was completely coming apart because of them.

“King,” The hoarse whisper left his lips, that one sole word that said so much with so little as the creative side that towered over him gazed down at him so longingly as his trembling finger gently caressed the logical side’s bottom lip.

A look of agony drenched the creative side’s face as the tears escaped Logan’s eyes, drenching his cheeks, “Oh my dear,” King hurriedly but gingerly moved to wipe the tears away, his black painted nails glimmering in the light of the kitchen. “I am so so sorry,” He apologized, not even really sure for what he was apologizing for. “I left you for long and,” Memories that weren’t quite his stapled themselves over his mind’s eye, memories of harsh nicknames, a jagged weapon being thrown at Logan’s head, undoubtedly meeting its mark. King choked, “I’m so sorry,” He didn’t quite know where to put his trembling hands, but in the end, he settled for just cupping Logan’s face. His beautiful wonderful face that he had caused so much pain. “I am so sorry my dear, for everything that I did.. Everything that I said. The pain that I caused...”

A sensation similar to having his heart torn open and then stuffed with a firecracker was all that he could feel, the only sensation that he would let himself feel.

But even so, Logan’s face only reflected confusion. “King,” A humorless smile curled on Logan’s lips, it was a smile that King couldn’t help but to fear, to fear everything that it meant to him and Logan. “You usually aren’t one to tell lies.”

The creative side’s arms constricted around Logan, dropping his hands from the logical side’s face down to his side as he wrapped his arms around him. It was the kind of hug that could not be escaped from, the kind that an octopus normally wrapped its prey in, except… this was Logan, he never wanted to hurt Logan, he never wanted to see him hurt… never. But even that tight hold didn’t stop the agonized whimper from leaving his lips, a whimper that sounded all too similar to a dying animal than to anything human.

Just what had he done… no, what had happened while he had been gone to make his dear believe such things?

He pressed a sloppy tear-soaked kiss to Logan’s ear, “I promise you, Love,” He whispered, his cheek rested against the messy bird’s nest that Logan called his hair. “I am sorry for what happened in my absence, and if I have to spend the rest of my days remedying it… fixing your broken heart back together. Then I will do it, I will climb whatever mountain you wish me to, I will eat carrots, I burn for you love to give you whatever warmth you desire. Just.. just tell me, and I shall make it happen.” Every word rang with the finality of conviction and truth.

He wanted to cling to Logan, to let his fingers hold the logical side through the night. To fall asleep next to him, and to wake up seeing his beautiful face each and every morning. But… even if Logan did not want him, if he wanted the version of him that donned a red sash or even the one that wielded the morning star with a terrifying accuracy… then he would rip himself in half to ensure that it happened.  

Logan’s arms curled around his midsection and squeezed him tight.

“Just…” There was a pause, but even so, he was listening to every word that could possibly leave the other side’s mouth. He listened to the way that his breathing rose and fell, the way that he sniffled in an attempt to get every word out. And he felt the way that Logan merely just gripped him tighter, his pristine uniform wrinkling under his fingers, not that King cared one little bit. “Just don’t leave again.”

That… That King could do.  

[margarittet]

Why the SPN mixtape scene from 12x19 is screenwriting gold, and should be taught to the next generations of screenwriters everywhere - analysis

20 seconds. Two lines of dialogue, three gestures, a couple more camera angles. Episode 19, season 12 of a genre TV show “Supernatural”. A single strike of screenwriting and cinematic genius. The mixtape scene.

Robert Berens and Meredith Glynn, I bow before you.

This scene should be used as an example for future screenwriters how you can put maximum of meaning into minimal time and dialogue. Should be analyzed and taught at universities everywhere, how to achieve the most using the least. How to write for TV, where you only have less than an hour to built something spectacular.

WOW.

Let’s just peel off all the layers of these 20 seconds of footage and these 13 words. 13 WORDS.

(Cas knocks, Dean doesn’t say anything. Cas opens the door, apologizes for disturbing Dean in his room, and then takes a cassette tape out of his left inside coat pocket, and puts it on the desk, while tapping the label on it that says “Deans (sic!) top 13 Zepp traxx”.)

Cas: Um, I just wanted to return this.

Dean: It’s a gift. You keep those.

13 tracks. 13 words. The future. So number thirteen is important for the future. I mean, are you trying to tell us something here, writers?

(Dean takes the tape, oustreches his arm, and gives it back to Cas. We see Cas’ hand grabbing the tape, and taking it back.)

That tiny scene is ENORMOUS from the perspective of the narrative and the characterization. Let’s see what we can get out of it. (Prepare yourself: it’s gonna be long. Damn, how much meta can you write based on 20 seconds of television and two lines of dialogue?) (Hint: A lot.)

Thoughts in no particular order.

LotR reference

Let’s start with text, because text is kinda my thing. This is this:

I half expected Dean to roll his eyes at himself for acting like an elvish maiden - maybe he did internally. Anyway, we all remember how Aragorn and Arwen’s story ended, right? (In the movies at least.) 

It’s great how Cas and Dean re never strictly cast as a female mirror or male mirror in any of the romantic pararells that the show does. Their gender roles and characteristics are extremely fluid, and it’s wonderful.

2) The label

Deans (sic!) top 13 Zepp traxx”

First thing: “Deans” - not “Top 13 Zepp traxx”, not “The best of Led Zepp”. DEAN’S top 13 Led Zepp tracks. This shit is personal. Your favourite music says a lot about you, it’s like showing somebody your favourite book, or your favourite fictional character. ONE favourite track says something about what you like, feel, think. 13 songs of your favourite band, especially if that band is Led Zeppelin? You may as well get naked, because you can’t uncover yourself much more than that. This stuff makes you open and vulnerable. They will know what you like, what you enjoy, what you feel, what kind of stories your favourite music tells. It’s a mirror of you. Led Zepp is not a band with three beats and five words in the lyrics. It’s long, it’s literary, and it’s epic. It tells a lot about the person, especially a person who loves music and stories as much as Dean does. By showing Cas that he loves these 13 songs of Led Zeppelin, he told Cas he loves cock rock, sexual innuendos, shameless romanticism, fantasy references, biblical imagery, American blues, stories about life, death, love, sex, angels, Satan, mythology, science-fiction and Lord of the Rings. If this band is not a metaphor for the many sides of the real Dean Winchester, I don’t know what is. Dean showed Cas his non-performing side.

This is not even good gift giving, Dean, darling - a nice gift would be giving Cas music HE would enjoy, not you. Give him Beyonce (“Halo” would be nice, lol), give him rap, give him some Britney Spears. No, you gave him Led Zepp, with a NOTE that these are your favourite songs.

You wanted to show yourself to him. This is fucking intimate.

The cassette is a symbol for Dean, for Dean's heart, like the necklace was a symbol of Arwen's heart. That is why no matter what Cas did in 12x19, Dean is still on his side. Why he fixed his truck, gave him the Impala keys without thinking, tried to talk to him instead of fighting him, why he was so hurt Cas left before. That's why he didn't even consider taking the cassette back. Because he has made his decision, he gave himself to Cas, and he will not hear of Cas giving it back (you can't give it back, really). Just look how quickly Cas grabs the tape back. He even uses it later to highlight "we", waving it between him and Dean. This moment is showing us Dean has given his true self to Cas, and he is not changing his mind. This happened already, and no one witnessed it but the two of them. Cas only tried to give it back, because he thought that after what he was about to do, Dean would want it back. Nope.

Nothing to see here. Moving on.

“Top 13”

Yeah, these are his favourite songs, but not all of them, just the best ones. Why thirteen? This is actually a weird number of songs for a cassette tape, especially for a band like Led Zeppelin. It’s too few for 90 min, and too many for 60 min (usual lengths of tapes). So I see three reasons:

Dean just chose songs that send exactly the message he wanted to send, so he didn’t need more songs.

It’s a reference to season 13 - which, I believe, will be romance heavy and amazing.

It’s a reference to “13 Reasons Why”, a show about a girl’s suicide and cassette tapes since this is the same episode where Kelly kills herself, dies, and is revived by the Nephilim, (and therefore it’s canon that the Nephilim can bring people from the dead. Cas, anyone?)

All of the above.

“Zepp”

Besides the fact that liking Led Zeppelin says tons about the real Dean Winchester, it has also different meanings:

Led Zeppelin is a shorthand for seduction, but also for a cosmic romantic connection.

We know two situations where Led Zepp is mentioned in terms of seducing somebody. Jo mentions that hunters want to get into her pants with “some pizza, a sixpack and side one of Zeppelin IV”. This means pretty much the same as “they think they can impress me with cool music while they only know four songs played frequently on the radio, fucking posers.” See, I know Dean is better than to put Stairway to Heaven or Rock n’ Roll on his mixtape, since these are the most popular, i.e. impersonal of Zeppelin songs (although he may be partial to “Battle of Evermore”, since he is a huge nerd). Aaaaaanyway, the other time we see Led Zepp as a seduction technique is when Nick the Siren talks to Dean about some more obscure Led Zepp records - he outdid Dean with his knowledge of Led Zepp trivia - and Dean is bought. This is exactly the opposite of knowing only side A of Zeppelin IV. This is a real deal, and Dean is so mesmerized.

And then we have the literal “match made in Heaven” of John and Mary - and we know she used Led Zeppelin to test John as a potential lover. He knew all the lyrics (again, real, deep knowledge of the subject vs the superficial one), and she knew he was worth going for. I don’t think Dean is testing Cas, but I think that since John and Mary connected over Zeppelin LYRICS, the lyrics are as important for Dean as the music is. That’s why he used them to show Cas what he feels. And it also reminds him of his parents.

Plus, honestly, if reciting/playing Led Zepp lyrics to somebody doesn’t feel dirty and/or disgustingly romantic, you’re doing it wrong. “Squeeze me baby, ‘till the juice runs down my leg”? Really? 

Led Zepp is connected to John

Remember how, when we see Dean for the first time connecting with a kid in season 1, he teaches him that “Zeppelin rules”? That’s because Zeppelin is in Deans mind “father’s music”. It’s something you show your kid, something you can bond over. 

It’s a well known thing that we choose partners similar to our parents, so it’s not a shocker that Dean connects John’s music with his love interests. It’s nothing weird. If he was going for a girl, he’d look for somebody who is like more like Mary (and since she also loved Led Zepp - well, remember Jo?)

Led Zepp is connected to Mary. 

Since Dean and Mary are so similar, it’s not surprising that his first thought how to connect with his love interest is through Led Zeppelin (just how her was, when she met John).

“Traxx”

Ha! This one is great. They spelled it this way probably mostly to get our attention. “Tracks” was a legendary gayclub in Washington DC, and even now there is a gay club under this name in Denver, plus there are gay clubs all around the US and Canada that are called “Trax” or “Traxx”. Subtle and awesome. It’s a nice shout out to Dean saying he was in Purgatory in Miami.  

(Edit: Plus, as many people pointed out to me since I wrote this piece, XX is also a common shorthand for kisses. I knew that, but I wasn’t sure it was something Dean would do. But now I agree. I guess I didn’t give Dean enough credit for being sappy. :)

The whole “Deans top 13 Zepp Traxx” label is Dean “no-homo”ing the tape - “Dude, look how cool I am, ain’t got no time for good grammar and proper spelling, dude. Bro.” You know, in case Sam sees the tape, and there are questions. *eyeroll*

3) Music as a non-textual device

It was said once that even though Led Zeppelin is Dean Winchester’s favourite band, we will not ever hear it on the show, because the royalties are just too. Damn. Expensive. The show can’t afford it in their budget to put Led Zeppelin on the soundtrack, even though the band’s music is crucial to understanding Dean Winchester’s complexity. So instead of scraping more money, they pulled “High Fidelity”, and put music IN THE NARRATIVE. This, my loves, is pragmatism 101. Why to spend a fortune to put ONE Led Zepp song in the episode, when you could just send your viewers to their Spotify account and listen to ALL the songs there, thus creating their own soundtrack for this episode and the relationship between the characters. I wish I would be this smart. This actually achieved several goals at once.

All Led Zeppelin music is now a textual part of the universe and Dean’s character, not just two songs that he mentioned in season 4. We know the tape has 13 songs, but we don’t know which ones, which means all the songs can be there, until we are told differently - “Schroedinger’s Mixtape”. Some viewers can even no-homo the tape by picking the songs that are neither sexual nor romantic, but it will be HARD.

4) Michelangelo’s “The creation of Adam”

In the way this moment is shot, we are reminded where they stand in the beginning of this episode - Cas is the celestial being (who just has been to Heaven), and Dean once again represents humanity - the humanity that Cas is canonically in love with.

(On another note: Michelangelo is one of the most famous gay icons in history.)

5) This short moment showed us as well that there is so much stuff happening off screen that we never get too see. Who knows what else we don’t know? What else happened between these two characters that we never heard about? This made me think we should always be careful with the new showrunners, since they love puzzles, games, and pieces of information peppered over the whole season that are not always what they are. There is ALWAYS MORE. They love playing with meta reading, and it’s glorious. 

Also, instead of showing us the moment where Dean gives Cas the tape (what would be a regular thing to do), they showed us the BACK END of the situation. We have to construct what happened from the end, backwards. We know Cas got the tape, both characters know what happened between them when he received it from Dean, but we HAVE NO IDEA. We don’t get to see it because we were not privy to that moment. It was JUST BETWEEN THEM. It was an intimate moment that no one else got to witness, even the audience. And it makes it so much more important. It adds a new level of privacy and intimacy to their relationship, and it’s amazing, especially since the last few seasons seemed like they never are alone anymore. 

6) Why a cassette tape? Especially since we don’t even know if Cas has a way to listen to it? 

Because it’s a frikkin’ romantic trope!

In the world of storytelling mixtapes scream romance, and not much else (well, parental love, but that is so not the case here). It’s a thing that made me sit up and stare at the screen the moment it arrived, because I couldn’t believe they went there. I thought it was another queerbaiting moment, like the infamous boner prom-shot, but once they started sharing with each other how they felt, ALONE, ON SCREEN, IN WORDS, I knew it wasn’t. It was a way to show more casual viewers a symbol they would understand, while still staying in character. Dean would not write a love letter, or a poem, or even speak openly about his feelings, but he so would take time and effort to create a tape, especially since mixtapes were the language of showing your feelings that was in use when he was young and had his first crushes. And if Cas was more human, he’d understand it immediately. I hope he did anyway, he has got his pop culture references from Metatron, maybe some John-Hughes-references there.

The tape is new, the label is clean, words visible, plastic unscratched. If it was a tape Dean had before, it’s be dirty from lying in his car forever. Plus, noone makes mixtapes for themselves, especially when they already have albums - it’s too much effort for too little gain. It’s not John’s, because it cleary says “Dean’s”. Ergo - it’s freshly made. For Cas.

In conclusion: with the shortest piece of dialogue possible, and exactly three movements of the actors, they shot the narrative onwards and upwards on so many levels: 

Dean’s performing facade falling down,

Dean showing (and giving) his true self to Cas,

Hints of off-screen moments between them that we know nothing about (added a new level of intimacy), 

Cas being linked to the textual and intertextual codes for eternal love and sexual seduction, 

Some hints for the future,

Dean is humanity (and Cas loves humanity),

Bisexual!Dean,

Binding the show to its earlier seasons.

20 seconds. 13 words. I am blown away.

I probably could find more layers, but I think four pages of meta for 20 seconds of TV is enough for now. Thanks for reading! It was fun!