#I cannot Believe they've Done this to Her

[raguna-blade]

Realistically there is no place that you can put this in the main story without mucking up the pace because look, this is very clearly off the path of the main point.

ON THE OTHER HAND, damn, Namari is really out here trying to Surreptitiously get some Free Leg Action (The Tasteful Tightness of the straps and how they accentuate the le-PRACTICALITY OF IT I MEAN YEAH) and she is not only like IMMEDIATELY FOUND OUT but also

Like Listen. I'm a Mature Adult, Probably, and we've all seen our fair share of spicy content I'm sure and listen All I'm saying is

Good Job Namari. You didn't think you'd get this far but You're gonna get it.

[yuelun]

This young man displayed the true prowess of alchemy to all, bringing with him a massive corpus of wisdom that even the Sumeru Akademiya did not possess. "The universe is heaven reversed, and the earth is a dream lost to time. This is dust, the most basic form of complex life." As if to provide evidence for this claim, Albedo lifted the burnt ash of the flower that once grew atop a Dendro Slime's head. Seconds later, a Cecilia sprouted forth from the ash in his hand. "And this… is new birth." (Albedo: Character Story)

When I've been wrecking my brain over whether or not Genshin draws the correlation between dust and ashes, and I happen to look into Albedo because of his tie (we can... call it that) to alchemy, and even the art of Khemia specifically which is the much more ancient form of it, and there it is. Now excuse me as I go ramble in my tags a little incoherently...

[astarionancuntnin]

listen, obviously i love astarion for multiple reasons, but ironically when i first started the game i wasnt interested in him, at all. i was fully commited to finding karlach and dating her bc of what i had seen online about her. i had barely heard or seen anything about him other than him being "the flirty vampire" and i was like eh okay

i ended up keeping him in my party cause his remarks were hilarious and i really vibed with his energy. and then he started opening up and you get to see how the whole overconfidence and flirting was an act, he starts talking about cazador and what he went through and how determinate he is to take him down. he keeps mentioning how he cannot wait to get rid of his master and how satisfied hes going to be, and hes smiling just thinking about it

then we learn about the ritual and theres this sudden spark in him, hes convinced that its the answer to his problems, he gets tunnel vision on the ritual, and if you romance him he also thinks its the only way he can assure not only his own safety, but also yours.

and when you finally win the fight, you have to save him from himself. hes desperate, completely blinded by the power he could potentially have. if he has this power, hes never going to be vulnerable, no one will abuse him ever again.

he is willing to lose himself to make sure he never gets hurt like this. even with high approval, if you dont succeed a persuasion roll or refuse to help him, he either turns against you or leaves your party. in his eyes, at this moment, you are the one who turned against him.

if you suceed the persuasion roll, he agrees that he can be better than cazador, and before stabbing him repeatedly, mentions (again) how hes going to enjoy this

only to break down right after. even though its something hes been wanting to do for centuries, all the suffering hes been through came crumbling down after it was done. cazador is dead, hes the one who killed him, he finally got his revenge, and yet he feels this emptiness.

its done, why do i not feel better?

if you saved him, he talks to you later and admits how he wasn't himself, how thankful he is that you helped him out and most of all, you believed in him. you saved him by believing he could be more than what he saw in himself.

if you talk to him after completing dame aylin's quest in act 3 (after killing cazador), he mentions how he expected her to rejoice after defeating yet another person who intended to enslave her, but shes just tired. hes comparing her reaction to his own experience after freeing himself from his abuser

and after karlach's reaction to killing gortash, he brings up the fact that theres "no justice in this world". contrary to what he believed earlier in the game, its not only him thats been wronged for several years. even though in the end they all got to get rid of the people who ruined their lives, they are still hurting.

hes realising that killing your abuser, although it seemed like the simple, satisying solution of finally having your revenge from years of trauma, might free you, but it will not fix you. they're dead, but you still have to live with what they've done to you.

he is my roman empire

[inamindfarfaraway]

I would find Blondie Lockes very annoying in real life, but I love her in fiction. She's a genuinely good journalist in terms of both skill and ethical integrity, who only occasionally forgets to check the facts because she's fifteen and holds herself accountable when she does. She has incredibly high standards for everything and believes herself to be the ultimate authority on quality. She has magical lockpicking powers because her fairytale is about Goldilocks breaking into a house. She somehow completely ignores the story's moral that Goldilocks was wrong to break into the house, feels entitled to go wherever and help herself to whatever she's able to and cannot comprehend why people dislike this. She's been terrorizing an anthropomorphic bear family with her cheerful disrespect for privacy and is convinced that they love her. She has a non-anthropomorphic pet baby bear. Her motivation is dependence on external approval rooted in deeply internalized classism. She's desperate to be useful and important to those with higher social status and feels the need to lie that her family is technically royalty to fit in with her royal friends, even though they treat commoners like equals all the time. She positions herself as a conduit of true greatness; closer to it than the masses, but never the hero, always reporting on other people and evaluating what they've done. Because what she's done isn't enough to be worthwhile. What she is isn't enough. But this performative lifestyle makes her anxious about being judged as a fraud and an interloper, and ashamed of selfishly transgressing against social norms. Her microphone head looks like an adorable little bear head. That's one hex of a character alright.

[iruiji]

° just smol headcannons before I get swamped with work for the next week (⁠´⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠.̫⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠`⁠)

Also, spoilers.

- Unknowingly, player has been given the title of 'Aeon of Guidance' (coined by wonderful @amimo3, thank you) and is generally known as the main driving force behind the Trailblazers' journey - (it was originally the Aeon of Akivili, which represents the Path of The Trailblaze, but they're dead last I checked, so for the sake of this AU we'll be the main force now but like in honor of the dead Aeon), to save planets from Stellarons.

- Naturally, as time progresses with you looking out for the team, they learned to trust your decisions more. Like, if there's a hard choice they have to make they kinda expect you to make the choice (and it is you making the choice from your screen), or like hinting at them what to do. Welt and Himeko seemd like untrusting at first, but after some time they warmed up a bit and consider you as the 3rd parent of these dolts (HUH).

- The Trailblazers now get more attention than they've ever had and it's a mix of pros and cons, really. People had been contacting them like crazy until Herta helped them from blocking some of the offending/nagging ones. And let's not even start at the countless gifts appearing like crazy at the places they've been into and the people that swarm them after saving their planet/ship (for now it's only the space station/belobog).

- At the Herta Space Station, Asta placed a small room dedicated for the new Aeon filled with offerings of food (which get cleaned everyday), trinkets and generally notes and books (it was mentioned by the Trailblazer that they like collecting books and other collectibles). Unlike the people from Belobog, however, the researches are not that deep in worshipping because they're still scientists (you know how in our world scientists don't believe in god rule because it may hamper in their research? kinda like that).

- At Belobog, which the Trailbalzers saved with the Aeon, people are much more open on focusing their worship on them. Bronya has built a small temple at the Administrative District and one at the Underworld (with the help of Wildfire and the Silvermane Guards). Due to the place being trapped in eternal winter, people mostly give small, metal trinkets akin to snowflake (guess who thought of making this a business? spoiler: it's sampo.), and the wealthier ones give books as offerings (books are pricey in Belobog, I'd assume?).

(Trailblazer collects all of these, don't worry. Gotta complete the inventory y'all.)

- Let's go at Xianzhou Luofu for a moment.

- I feel like at Xianzhou Luofu, people are not that.. open at worshipping a new Aeon, since they had an ugly past from the Aeon of Abundance, and now they mainly worship the Aeon of Hunt because it's the one who've helped them fight the Mara that plagues the population of said ship.

- But then the Trailblazers came, and they are aware of the new Aeon which saved Jarilo-VI, but again, new Aeon might just be a new danger for them that's why they initially rejected their request to help them from the Stellaron.

- Jing Yuan though, he's intrigued. First, the Divination Commission cannot get information about the new Aeon (Fu Xuan cannot see anything, like Mona trying to peek at Venti's constellation and her clothes got ripped instead). It's been millenia since the discovery of the last Aeon, and now, a new, young one? How? Why? And why only now they deigned to help the universe? Shouldn't they have done that a long time ago? He surmised that, given they've only appeared when the MC woke up, they must be connected with each other - and this influenced him to consider their offer.

- What he did not expect, however, was the Aeon's gaze lingering on him even the Trailblazers left the room.

MC and co. be like: What? Where their Grace?

Ppl inside the meeting room: *sweating bullets* What is happening? Why is an Aeon staring at us?

- THEY DIDN'T KNOW READER IS SIMPING FOR JING YUAN. SUE ME LOL

- And then POV switched to Dan Heng hurriedly leaving the express after learning Blade is at the Xianzhou, and then meeting Sushang and Luocha.

- Luocha, in his credit, easily masked his shock after feeling the intense gaze from this.. Aeon? Is this the new rumored Aeon of Guidance that is folowing the people from the Astral Express? (YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE THAT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO DAN HENG REALLY IS.) Sushang at the other hand, almost fell on her knees, but wisely did not comment about it.

- Dan Heng has mixed feelings about the Aeon switching gaze to him and his current acquiantances, texting the MC but the message is still being unsent. For now, the three of them navigate the Mara-infested place towards the main city, hoping that Blade hasn't done anything to his *cough* found family *cough* yet.

- HE CAN ALSO FEEL THE AEON'S INTENSE GAZE AT LUOCHA LOL (re: simp re: re: le simp) he thought it was because of the coffin, lol, so naturally he's more inclined to be cautious of it. Sushang is busy guiding them, however, and seemed not aware of what's happening.

- After another fight his phone chimed, and he checked it hurriedly, sighing in relief when he learned they haven't met Blade. MC also checked if the Aeon was on him, because they lost them for quite some time now, and he told them he's with other people and he's on his way to them, and that yes, the gaze is directed at him right now.

PLS HOYO JUST LET MY BABIES MEET AGAIN

- Idk about y'all but I chose to drink the medicine that blind doctor from Xianzhou gave me - so I'll translate that as MC questioning the decision if they're really going to drink it, but like being 50/50 about it but it's you and there's no way you'd put them in danger, so they took the medicine at the end.

- For the Stellaron Hunters, you became some sort of.. an enigma, because Elio - for all his depiction of future this and destiny that, haven't really spoken even one thing about you. And that's, well, suspicious. I know, I know, they're not supposed to question Elio, but the thought lingers. Like, is Elio not talking about you because you're useless to their mission and for that, doesn't matter? Or there's some more deeper reason?

- While Kafka and Silver Wolf met the new Aeon, Blade was already at Xianzhou Luofo at that point, so he missed it. But then the cutscene of him talking with Jing Yuan and Yanqing was shown, and he felt it. That warm, comforting feeling Kafka explained to him at one point during their last talk. He took a quick glance at the General and his Lieutenant, smirking in sadistic glee at the brief expressions of confusion as they seem to feel the gaze too, albeit quick. (Because that scene happened before MC got to Xianzhou Luofo if I'm not mistaken).

Ah, man. Kinda hard to do HC during this time coz the game has barely any story about Xianzhou 🤣 This is sitting in my drafts for a week so better just post it before I dip to hibernate ig. Maybe I'll tackle about DragonHeng during the next story update 👌🏻 (AAAAAAAAAAAA I'M SO DOWN BAD FOR HIM LORD PLS)

And I'm sorry for that user who tried to request something, but my feeble brain cannot connect it and still thinking of what to do 💀

[vanilleandclove]

the meadow in which you lay | 3

ser erryk cargyll x arryn!reader | chapter three: one for glory, another for honor

When Prince Lucerys's claim to Driftmark is question, your cousin seeks your support as a pillar of strength. It has now been a near six years since you've seen your lover, you are near strangers, but no different.

word count: 2.4k | warnings: criston cole is a bitch, alicent got ate up twice, sexual references, give the reader a damn s** t**, clear description of wounds and stitches | a/n: did i accidentally age down jeyne? yes. rip jeyne arryn you would have loved pride month. (i still believe jeyne would have been great friends with luke and jace in my always correct opinion). also, three posts back-to-back??

previous - next

taglist: @wolvestitches @holb32 @callsignwidow

"They mean to call Lucerys's claim to the Driftmark throne? What business do I have there?" you questioned your brother deeply, as Jeyne returned back from her walk with Jessamyn and greeted you both with kisses on your cheeks. "The Vale has Jeyne for it to be protected, I owe no business to defend the piss poor Hightowers" you continued.

"Rhaenyra, our cousin. If you can help her defend Luke's claim, they would not question defending her either" your brother reasoned, only leading your sinuses to burn and head to pound.

"Brother I know you mean well, but you know exactly what they think of our cousin and nephews" you responded, "And what treacheries Criston Cole rallies into Alicent's ear about me".

"And your paramour, Ser Erryk Cargyll" your brother quirked, only leading you to glare at him. "I believe it would strengthen your reputation and our cousin's".

"I or he would have to be married to be a paramour brother, watch your tongue".

"He is married to law Y/n, I only mean to protect you" your brother defended himself, "A Kingsguard is no-".

"No match for a husband, yes, I know and made acutely aware of said fact" you interrupted, "I do not need protection brother, I never needed protection" you continued, "I will go to court only if our cousin requests me to" getting up from your seat at the table and merely walking off until your brother spoke up.

"If you plan to avoid the knight, surely you can tell him by raven that you do not mean to continue your affections had you be in King's Landing" and with that suggestion came the fall of your heart, how deeply it shattered.

You simply nodded, not looking your brother in the eye after his suggestion, you could not. If you return to court, they will twist your words, they will make a spectacle about you just as they've done to your cousin. By proxy, they'll call into question the honor of your lover. He may have loved you, tasted you, and garnered your affections, by textbook, he broke no oath. By the conservative opinion of the Hightower's, he was a sinner, he had committed blasphemy.

That night you sat pondering on your vanity chair, cursing the gods for making you in love with a man you cannot have. As you toyed with the rings that laid on your fingers, you wondered if the world be different, if a wedding ring would be donned on them. A Kingsguard is no match for a husband, luckily you did not want to be matched to another. Who is to say you were a match to a wife, as the high lords sat like puppies to Otto Hightower, with the exception of the Vale, Riverlands, and the North. You once told Ser Erryk you loved him, you told a knight you loved him, words only a fool would utter.

You ended up returning to court as Rhaenyra summoned you, the journey more exhausting than last. Six years have passed, Rhaenyra's boys have grown into young men, Laena's daughters as beautiful as always. You had greeted them upon their arrival as they trailed just behind you.

"Forgive us for always meeting in the worst of circumstances cousin" Rhaenyra sighed, her stomach had homed another child, you hoped it'd be a girl, knowing Rhaenyra always wanted a daughter or sister, "You've seemed to be glowing".

"I believe it is the thick air cousin" you laughed, "Daemon" you nodded at the Prince.

"Have you seen him yet?" Daemon asked, only earning a confused look from you. "The King".

"They would not let me visit, though I am sure they would let the Heir and his brother see to his bedside" you answered Daemon, "You two visit, I will see to it that the children will be settled down". Both Rhaenyra and Daemon nodded to your kindness.

You signaled the children to follow you, it had been years since they step foot into the Castle. Lucerys and Jacaerys found their way to the Red Keep to evaluate the guards practice, you'd join them after showing Joffery to his quarters and Rhaena to her twin sister.

At the Red Keep you quickly saw Erryk and Arryk sparring one another, as well as the spectators flooding the floor to oversee Criston and Aemond sparring. The Prince disarmed the cocky bastard, you snickered only to be caught by the cocky bastard himself.

"Lady Arryn you seem to be fond of the Red Keep, would you like to spar with us men? We have heard of your fierceness in the fields, granted, we hope you are just as fierce in bed" Criston smiled smugly.

You smiled back before looking at your nephews "Fetch me a Morningstar boys, and a shield, for Ser Criston" you instigated, all eyes now landed on you, including the Cargyll twins.

"Morningstar? To a sword fight? Scared to be disarmed?".

"Oh no you wound me Ser" you laughed as Lucerys handed you the Morningstar and Criston the shield, "Only to prevent another bloody fight like you started at my cousin's wedding".

As you waved the Morningstar around, you blocked several hits from Criston, hitting his shield twice which resulted into breaking it in half. After which you disarmed yourself, handing the Morningstar back to Lucerys, you quickly tripped the knight with your legs and climbed on top of him, his hands situated at your waist before you violently dislocated his shoulder before putting it back into place. His screams shocked the spectators, but it was not until he pulled out a blade and stabbed into your thigh did they react.

"Enough!" Erryk quickly intervened, seeing the bloody mess that leaked from your thigh, the rage that coursed through your veins immediately translated to you removing the blade and stabbing into Criston's hand to pin him to the ground once and for all. Though Erryk must admit, your sheer violence to the knight was, well sexy, it did not discount your own injury and how that worried him.

"See to that the Lady Arryn is handled by the Maesters, Ser Criston as well" Arryk told several guards, you looked at your nephews with pride before speaking.

"Now that is how you get bloody revenge" they both laughed and beamed as Erryk carried you bridal style in order to maintain pressure to your wound, you caught a glimpse of Aemond as he had a look of shock. "Ser Arryk, please do not make a fuss of this to my cousin, granted Alicent might have my head for damaging her beloved whore".

Arryk only laughed at your words before Erryk swiftly walked through the halls, quick to enter your chambers and assess your wound that was bleeding profusely.

"You are mad at me" you spoke up as Erryk cleaned your wound, long minutes have passed since he undressed your bottom half of clothing, his hands were gentle but his gaze not, "Talk to me Erryk".

"Ser" he spoke up before cauterizing the wound in order to stitch, leading you to yelp out in pain and grip his free hand, "You could've gotten yourself killed Lady Arryn, you know well of Ser Criston's temper just as much as I".

"Well Ser, it was only a demonstration".

"You are a woman, a Lady no less, if one peeped to your brother, they would have his head on a spike in the Vale, granted the loves you gained in the North and the Riverlands would surely support his beheading" Erryk critiqued, before grabbing the needles and stitches, giving your legs another look.

"I know I am a woman, I know I am a Lady as well Ser Erryk" you fought back, "You want his head on a spike and hide behind the idea of my brother wanting to kill him, knowing fully my brother would not cause such hysterics unless he'd be backed by Rhaenyra and the bitch Hightowers were gone from court" you scoffed, only earning a small smile from the knight due to your obscenities. "Do not take your anger out on me Erryk, I know you better than anyone" you pleaded, the knight's quip to hurt you by not allowing you to refrain from politics and formalities.

He started the stitches before saying "Six years, I am near twice the man you left Lady Arryn" he started, one stitch fully weaved as you bit your lip to distract yourself from the pain, "Granted, I have never bedded a woman, nor have I sought the company of one seeing that I am bound to the King. I do not own lands and I know plenty of Prince Aegon's depravities. I know more of the histories of Westeros, better yet I know how to make the unmarried, fierce, who most claim to be barren, Lady Y/n Arryn, cum. I am a man, still the man you once loved" Erryk teased, weaving the second to last stitch.

"You take pride in the fact that you know how to get me off?" you chuckled, feeling the heat pool in between your legs.

"I take pride in the fact that you loved me" Erryk sighed, finishing the stitches before aiding you into dressing up and standing on your feet, "Though, I must say no food or sweet in the land can match the sweetness of you, Lady Arryn".

These past six years taught you more about restraint than you bargained for truly, if it were not for your wound and the oath being a vow of chastity, you'd wager that Ser Erryk would have already been spilling his seed in your womb, but, restraint.

"I still hold the same amount of love for you just as I did when we were younger" you told him, he shook his head once more as your confession rolled off your tongue, "I do not jest, I just know the repercussions that you can face. I can handle the great and smaller houses calling me a whore, I cannot handle you being exiled, perhaps beheaded for betraying an oath to the King".

Erryk stood there for a moment, afraid of his words betraying him and hurting you, "I'd give the King my neck if it meant you'd love me" he told you, his hand lightly grazing your knee, your pupils dilated as your eyes only focused on your lover. Emotions of love and pain in unison synchronized between the two of you, as if your energies converged with one another. Warmth and frost rushed through your blood.

"I love you, but that does not mean I am able to lose you like every wife who marries knows…" you started, when you marry one, the implication of death separating you when the gods take your lover is evident and prepared, "A life without you is not a life I want to live Erryk, you have taken my heart when I was barely a lady, now I am a woman and my loyalty to you never wavered- neither my pride".

A knock interrupted your conversation, causing you to jolt and Erryk to discard his hands from your body. "You may enter!" you cleared your throat, being met with Alicent.

Her eyes bore into your soul, she took notice to the knight in your chambers, "Back to your post Ser Erryk" she commanded, you took a glance at him, nodding for him to be eased into his dismissal. As he left, Alicent's lips pursed, you did not fear her no matter how much she wanted you to.

"You are excused from court Lady Y/n Arryn, may you begin your journ-".

"I did not come for you, Alicent" you interrupted, "I came to court for the likes and commitment to my dear cousin, not the Hightowers".

"Just your 'dear' cousin?" Alicent quirked a brow, "Or the lover you parade around who is clearly breaking an oath he made on his own, which should be punished as such".

"As such? What your father, the usurper, would have his head for simply being a trusted friend of mine?" you scoffed, staring back at her wildly, "Lay a finger on Ser Erryk or Arryk, you will be waging a war you and your father cannot fund or survive. You forget, we were never once sisters as you propagate everyone to believe, your victimization may work in the throne, but when it comes to one of the greatest houses, it falters".

Alicent smiled in fear as you were now face to face, "One day I hope we can be friends".

"I hope you find solace in the fact that we never will be. Your grace".

As you all gathered in the throne room to contest the ascension of Lucerys to the Driftmark seat, as Lord Corlys health was questionable, the tension was thick. You still wondered what Rhaenyra needed you for in the means of defending your nephew's claim. Vaemond's vile insults that led to Daemon slicing his head in half, bringing the arguments to a close as there was no one else to contest Lucerys parentage and claim.

"Will you join us all for supper cousin?" Rhaenyra asked as you walked towards the Godswood tree, "Please I would not be able to tolerate Otto and Alicent alone".

"Only for you cousin" you giggled, "I take she informed you of the incident in the Red Keep this morning?".

"How is your leg?" Rhaenyra implored, observing how your leg had a faint limp to it, "She also insinuated you and Ser Erryk were engaged in- rather sexual activities".

"I'd need more than a half hour with him Rhaenyra" you quipped, "Criston is a cunt, if you asked me, I would not let him take my maidenhead" you looked to her, she rolled her eyes at the remark.

"We all have our regrets; you chose the better knight".

[lulu-nightbon]

alright, i... didn't want to do this. i didn't want to have to do this. especially with all the hate ive been getting in my inbox recently. but i don't have a choice.

hi. im lulu. im a 21-year-old autistic immunocompromised queer person. i currently live with my mother (senior) and my little sister (10 years old). i need your help to get out.

(context and avenues to help below the cut)

as some of you may know, my stepfather died on august sixth from a heart attack. we lived in his parents basement, as it was all we could afford, and we depended on his income. he had a stable job, and mom decided to become a housewife and sell some things from the buisness they created together. when he died, the buisness was dissolved, as it was an llc partnership. his parents are extremely controlling, and as such, he was only able to finally start building up credit when mom came along, and we were almost at the point where he could qualify for a home loan so we could get out and get away from his parents.

that's gone now.

mom cannot qualify for a home loan because of her student loan payments and the credit card payments. we do not have the money to pay these off, and mom is trying desperately to get a job. we need the money to get out, as my stepfather's parents have been trying to get my sister away from my mom and shove both her and i out of the family for years. things are only getting worse now as we have reason to believe they are spying on our conversations and even going so far as tracking us (for example, they found a spare key to the car and went and took it and "cleaned it out" without mom's knowledge or permission, as it's her car now). they have been trying to circumvent mom and go behind her back during the entire process with the funeral home, coroner's office, all the legal documentation, and they are extremely infuriated that they cannot decide anything or push mom out because they are not the next of kin and have been trying to circumvent this. we have reason to believe that they're going to attempt to sell the cars that are still in my stepfather's name to collect on the money and never give us a dime, like they had with almost all of the money my little sister received as part of the college fund we set up at my stepfather's funeral as well as any money that my little sister had won in the past. we will never see a dime of it, and it's extremely upsetting that they are doing this. they have been running scams for years, and they have been nothing but hellish towards my mother, claiming she's withholding information from them when she has offered more than they've asked for and they have done nothing but take my little sister out and about without ever telling mom anything (for example- they screamed that mom was withholding information when she said she didn't copy the tox report for them because it was empty and claimed they needed to know his cholesterol levels [which doesn't even show up on a tox report- they didn't run his blood, either, and they didn't check his cholesterol levels anyway because they know that's what killed him, they could see it] and would not provide reasoning why [it does not affect them anyway just by nature of it being cholesterol], while on sunday they took my little sister out the whole day and failed to communicate with my mother that she would be with them and would be home after dinner).

they have been screaming at mom for collecting social security as though she was stealing their money and demanded that she doesn't get a job, and we have more than enough reason to believe that they are trying to get her to default on the bills so they finally have legal grounds to take my little sister and kick us out, leaving us with nowhere to go and no options. they have even gone as far as to threaten to take my sister away using force in the past, and, as they have firearms, that is a terrifying threat. they are unhinged and extremely upset that they cannot control us and make us do what they want, how they want, when they want, and they are up in arms over it.

when we move out, all hell is going to break loose, but the longer we wait, the worse it's going to get.

my stepfather, being 37 when he died, did not like thinking about his own mortality, so he didn't have a life insurance policy, a 401K, a will, nothing. we have been left high and dry by his death, and that is pushing aside the grief. we do not have the money to pay off the bills, pay for a lawyer, pay to have the car re-keyed to keep them from stealing it again, or to even flat-out buy a house to circumvent needing a loan, and on top of it all we have to deal with stepfather's parents not allowing us to grieve and implying that mom is a tramp and a heartless bitch that will blow any money given to her when she is more financially responsible than them. we also have to worry about them stealing our things, especially with how much they complain about how messy the basement is when most of the things here are theirs (stepfather's parents are hoarders- more specifically, his father hoards cars, and his mother hoards everything else, going out and shopping frivolously almost every day).

we need help with money, and i hate to ask, especially with the requirement of revealing my legal name and in light of the harassment i have been receiving for over a month now, but we need to get out of here, and we need to get out of here soon. it's only going to get worse the longer we stay. we need money to help with the bills, my mom's student loans, getting a lawyer, and getting a place to move into.

im posting this because im the only one my stepfather's parents won't find on any platform that i choose to use. my current goal is $9,000 USD, if only just to get enough money to get a cheap plot of land to move into, or one of the really cheap houses out here. this won't cover the loans or bills in addition, or the cost of getting a lawyer or anything else we need, but it is enough to get us a cheap place to live. i know it's a lot of money, but we are in a dangerous situation and need the money to escape. if we were to pay for everything, the goal would be in the hundreds of thousands, and i feel horrible just asking for this much. if you can't donate, please reblog, even the visibility might help and please do not spread my legal name. please remember to put "payment" or something generic in the reasoning box if it's required so that i will actually receive the funds instead of having my account purged from the site. i didn't want to ask for this, but i have no other options. please help.

c*sh*pp: $lulunightbon

v*nm*: @Lulilial

Goal: $0/$9,000

[harmonysanreads]

What do you think about Yan! Focalors?

I saw this ask a while back but I decided to first see Furina's personality in-game before answering and mmmm, definitely possible. Though if I ever do include her in any of my writings, I'll be keeping it platonic :>

Furina's life source is the spotlight, she thrives in the very epicenter of attention. At the same time, she seems to have a distinct need for external validation. Her extravagant manner of speech is both her weapon and her shield. If you wish to catch her attention and keep it fixated upon you until a solid foundation of affection can be formed ; you'd need to be a bit of an anomaly. Someone who's a challenge, someone who's not swayed by her provocations and someone who can see through her bravado. What would really change the trajectory of your relationship is, if you'd share a vulnerable moment with her, as as it is seen she prefers to keep her troubles and insecurities to herself.

Furina knows when she likes someone or something enough to make a move, so her initial strategy is to put all sorts of grandiose shows that flaunt her own admirable qualities. There's another reason she chooses this method, that is the pressure that comes from the public and which she hopes would push you to accept her proposals. When that doesn't work and gossip of the Hydro Archon getting rejected spreads like wildfire, Furina is embarrassed. But ever the stubborn one, she employs strategies after strategies to gain your attention and praise (she phrases it as you getting hers instead because of course) and even the tiniest quantity of it has her squealing at the quiet confines of her bedroom.

I think she's one of those characters who get hit by a whole existential crisis the moment they realize they've actually caught feelings for someone. It becomes blatantly clear to bystanders as well, she fumbles with her words, twiddles her thumbs and reacts strongly with matters that concern you. Definitely throws a tantrum if you don't notice the new bow she wore. At the same time, she does thorough research on you from the time you get up for bed to who your first ancestor was. She makes sure to learn about your interests and hobbies and might even start doing them herself to better bond with you. She'd consider those all-nighters worth it if she manages to get even an impressed look from you.

As her affections grow in intensity, she starts expressing her jealousy. She cannot stand you being all buddy-buddy with someone who's obviously lesser than her, she's the better choice! Can't you see?! Thankfully, getting pesky pedestrians out of the picture is easy in Fontaine — given that you know how to use its laws against your enemies. One thing is for certain though, because of the influx of these new and intense emotions, Furina is rather unstable. She'd never physically hurt you (that's just not her thing) but she does take a lot of impulsive decisions that effect the surroundings.

If push comes to shove and you still refuse to reciprocate her love despite all that she's done, her final weapon is the courtroom. Remember? Getting anyone out of the picture is easy if you know your way around the laws of Fontaine and really, who'd look for you at the Hydro Archon's palace if they believed you to be sentenced to lifelong prison?

[mari-lair]

I got some asks about aoinene before so i may as well get my view on them off my chest.

( warning: I have a negative bias toward this ship and despite trying to be brief and unbias, I very very likely failed.)

To me, Aoinene makes each other worse, not as people, but as characters.

It's the kind of ship that the more I look at it the more empty their friendship feels, and yes sure they have their problems, but I don't mind when a ship have issues (hakubo and sumire are such a cool dynamic, 10/10 for me and they are a million times more 'toxic' then aoinene will ever be), but the aoinene problem is that they feel like fanservice. There is no conflict. There is nothing. They become shadows of themselves.

Aoi isn't stuck in the "I am an exposition girl :D" role because she is oblivious to the bigger story, and all they need is communication, Nene put her there. Iis insane that they've known each other for 2 years but she don't know anything about Aoi. Every time we learn something interesting about Aoi, is when she is seen in other's people's pov, even characters that barely interact with her like Teru and Mei have a better understanding of Aoi than Nene.

To Nene, Aoi is the troupe of a perfect friend. Nene cannot process her flaws, she rejects the idea, and Aoi can't make Nene talk, face her own issues. So there is never conflict. Their friendship is a love that morphed into a horror situation. A staged friendship.

"Aoi is cute and nice and kind. I refuse to believe she wouldl ever be anything else, let's not think about how i was thrown in the trash by her, that aoi was mean, she was a fake. I will not accept her being the real aoi. I won't even think about it."

"I know Nene is going through a lot but I need to play the happy girl with no troubles role for her. I won't ask about her problems or even show hints that I know something is off after learning about supernaturals, and that her crush is dead, and human sacrifices are a thing that happen. That's not what she wants from miss popular me."

It reach the point where their fluffy arts feel like fanservice to me, more of a 'look! cute girls doing cute things!! Aren't they such good friends??' photoshoot magazine than a genuine bond.

Look at this beautiful and cute art for exemple.

You would imagine the chapter is about them, that they will have some form of talk about their feelings in it, so much happened since the last time they talked after all!

Maybe Aoi apologize for throwing Nene out while Nene apologize for planning to die without Aoi's consent, making the same selfish mistake Hanako had done to her when he sacrificed Aoi so Nene could live. Maybe is just a quiet talk about how much things changed? A lighthearted but warm chat of how disorienting seeing supernaturals are as former girls that never had to deal with it? Something, anything, to connect them. Maybe the oposite, a big conflict that gets ugly now that the masks are down...? We had a lot of those in this arc, like kou and teru in chap 87, aoi and akane in chap 69, nene and hanako inc hapter 91! But no.

There is nothing. Is always nothing when they talk.

This beautiful cover art is from the chapter where Aoi issues were immediately brushed aside when she tried to bring them up and the usual bubbly Aoi was forced to come back.

They are bafflingly shallow for how much time they spend together and how much potential is bubbling under their mask, keeping their basic dynamic from their introduction even when the characters are begging for something to change.

So that's why I dislike them, they don't make each other better, they don't even have the gall to make each other act worse, they just make each other boring. Aoi is only allowed to be a fleshed out character when we get away from Nene's pov.

Is only through her interactions with other characters that any hint of dept, or hell, even fun quirks and overall aspects of her personality that are hinted with her friendship with nene, are explored or allowed to shine.

There is potential though! And I could see myself enjoying writing a one-shot exploring how painful for both parties the shallowness of their relationship is in some alternative universe, but unfortunetely the fandom ruined it for me. Which is a shame, since Nene is aoi only other friend, and their charade friendship is genuinely valued/loved by the other.

I tried to read fics and analysis to see if I was missing something but the fandom have a 'omg they are so cute and can do nothing wrong! All their issues will disappear if they hold hands <3' take on them, with so much mischaracterization both girls become unrecognizable. There is also a lot of Akane and aoikane hate, even masked aoi hate, cause god forbid their dear girlboss angelic lesbian queen have any negative feelings towards her bestie or likes a boy whose main flaw used to be the same as Nene (idolizing her to the point of dehumanization), and while that is not the manga's fault, it does affect my negative bias for this ship, make it far stronger.

After 2 years in the fandom, I just don't have the patience for this ship anymore. I don't think people are secretly evil if they ship aoinene or project themselves onto the girls, but it just isn't my thing. I am not looking for a fight either Anon, I block people cause I want as much peace as i can, and if what they ship makes me uncomfortable, is not their problem, is mine. Let them have fun out of my sight so we both strive pls.

[offtorivendell]

On Elain, Gwyn and their apparent romantic worthiness.

TW: mentions of death, violent or sexual assault, infertility and pregnancy/childbirth related trauma. Please do not proceed if these topics bother you.

Disclaimer: please, please engage with this post with kindness. I promise I am not writing it to stir the pot, but because I - and many others - are fed up with seeing hurtful and harmful rhetoric spewed by the fandom, yet having no back up when dealing with it. Word vomit incoming, I'm sorry. This has been bothering me for a while.

My love to everyone who has been hurt by things they've read in this fandom. 💜

It's 2024 and I cannot believe we are still seeing posts, almost daily, about both of these women; all giving reasons why they cannot possibly be with Azriel. And I don't mean the debatable but utterly harmless discussions about Elain not looking good in black or Gwyn blabbing to Merrill when asked not to. Whatever, go nuts. I mean the truly horrific takes based around things these two women have had no control.

Now, my post history makes it very obvious where I stand in terms of ships, and yes, I'm well aware I've spoken before about the inherent power imbalance - that I perceive - which would exist if Azriel ever became involved with any of the priestesses in the women's shelter he is charged with protecting (to be clear, that's not me suggesting that Gwyn and her story isn't powerful, or powerful representation to those who see themselves in her, nor is it personal to Gwyn, or indicative of any of the sheltered priestesses and their ability to heal; it's purely a function of Azriel's position of authority over their sanctuary). I want to reiterate that my stating my feelings about this was never done with the intent to shame people who do ship them; we all ship who we like, and real world ethics should rarely come into it.

That being said, the following, in my opinion, is one of those times.

Firstly, I just want to say that lived experience informs how we interpret fiction, so please let me clarify something: the people who have said that they don't think Gwyn is ready for a relationship yet, and that NSFW fan art of her with anyone makes them uncomfortable, are not in any way in the wrong. They're simply the other side of the coin to those who find it empowering, and both are valid responses, often related to personal trauma. The problem lies with those very few who say that Gwyn could never have a romantic relationship, and call those who talk and/or post about it "gross." Some have called her "damaged goods." This is absolutely wrong and whoever is doing it needs to stop.

The entire fandom, even those who find romantic or NSFW content involving Gwyn uncomfortable to consume, frequently acknowledges that her trauma doesn't define her, and of course she should be able to enjoy love whenever she feels ready for it. Those who say otherwise are readily condemned from all corners. I've seen it happen and called the people out myself, as have many other Elriel shippers when necessary. However, Elriels are still very regularly and very publicly blamed for the actions of a few (some of whom I truly believe are burner accounts wanting to cause chaos, with their Elriel themed usernames and no post history), despite our largely collective action to call them out when we see it.

Could we do better? Absolutely, but so can you!

Because, on the other hand, I've noticed that, whenever I or others have tried to explain why the pliable bones "theory" - which attempts to reason that Elain could never be endgame with Azriel, as she and any baby would die during the course of pregnancy or childbirth - is equally as harmful, we are met with people publicly and wholeheartedly refusing to understand why (especially recently). Some horrific comments have been made to my friends, not to mention all of those I see well after the fact, which are never widely condemned by any but us. People will argue back that we're wrong, and have even suggested we're weaponising infertility! On Mothers' Day, of all the fucking painful days to say that.

Some of the push back I've seen recently includes:

"Nobody has said Elain is infertile."

No, nobody has, and that's not what we're saying or have ever said. We know you don't think this, as the Elucien fandom loves to write and draw Elain and Lucien's hypothetical future children (which is super understandable, as this is a romantasy fandom after all - no shame, enjoy your warm fuzzies).

What we are saying is that, if it's true that Elain's anatomy wasn't changed as Feyre and Nesta's was - and to be clear I cannot stand that entire plot, I wish SJM had chosen literally any other reason why Feyre's pregnancy was dangerous, as it is simultaneously degrading and doesn't fit with her previously established lore - then Elain and Azriel, together^, would be functionally infertile. Yet it's only ever framed as Elain's body not being able to work with Azriel's, never the other way around.*

^Why didn't the bat boys have to sacrifice their wings to keep their wives/mates safe? Why did the women have to change their anatomy? Because it would make it harder for them to be all powerful? Well Nesta sacrificed her powers! Why not just have Feyre be cursed by an enemy or something, and Nesta found a way to use the Dread Trove to save them all. Ugh. I love SJM's books, but this was such a miss.

*HOSAB/HOFAS SPOILER: funnily enough, this was never said about Ruhn and his eventual mate, even though he actually did think he may be unable to father children, thanks to the Oracle's prophecy. People shipped the hell out of him and a couple of different women throughout the CC series, despite the chance he could never get them pregnant.

"People haven't called Elain damaged goods, so it's not the same. We're allowed to not like her."

My faerie porn* lover in christ, what the fuck do you think the pliable bones "theory" is actually doing? It is suggesting that Elain's hypothetical inability to survive having children with Azriel, and for those children to also survive childbirth, is impaired. Ergo, she's damaged.

We don't care if you don't like Elain, we're allowed to have different preferences in characters and ships. That has never been the problem.

*I use this term with affection as a great lover of the genre.

But "damaged" vs a functionally "impaired" uterus? It's the same damn thing, and sorry, it's misogynistic af, not to mention ableist and homophobic at a minimum. In the same breath you are also reducing your favourite to her apparently functional uterus (even though the pliable bones argument is medically inaccurate, by the way - this is really damning of the state of health education across so many countries).

"Hahaha/lol."

Yes, I have seen people laugh and treat this as a joke. As recently as tonight, in fact. It's disgusting.

Regardless of your lived experiences and shipping preferences, both of these takes about Elain and Gwyn are equally degrading and horrific and need to stop, but if you're only calling out the comments that hurt you/your friends/your ship and not the others, then you should maybe attempt some basic self reflection and analyse those double standards you're carrying.

This entire fandom needs to do better. I'll say again, for the umpteenth time, to any of my fellow Elriels that if you think mocking Gwyn's past is funny, then you're not mature enough to read an adult series. But this works both ways, and if you think mocking infertility is funny/use it as a win, then you're just as immature. I would really and truly appreciate it if we were not left alone to argue over and over again why discriminating against someone who couldn't "have a man's children" is wrong, and why many, many people in this adult fandom - that is largely comprised of women! - might find such a theory, and the resulting discourse, incredibly upsetting.

Infertility hurts; not having a kid when you want one can be viscerally painful. Besides that, I know very few people who have given birth who don't carry around some sort of emotional or physical trauma from doing so. Treating a character's hypothetical infertility with one man as a joke is gross.

Please don't call Gwyn "damaged goods" or suggest that Azriel would choose somebody else over Elain because she couldn't have his kids.

They are the same thing.

It's not hard to be kind. Pain is not a competition.

We should all do better, and take care of each other.

[mossy-green-aka-ferrythem]

Also, by the way folks, don't be so ready to treat Project Moon like they're not in the wrong, or so ready to "uphold their integrity", because the thing is. Them parting ways with Vellmori isn't the only thing they've done poorly.

For example, certain evidence came out about the company CEO, Kim Ji-Hoon, exhibiting rather neurotic behavior, unfit for anyone in a leadership position, there was hearsay from former employees about him shouting around the office about work ethic, and similar things like that.

Also the thing with the artist for Leviathan, now my memory is a bit spotty in this regard, but what will always stick with me is one story of mistreatment, where she was quite deathly ill, continuously vomiting and just all around in a state where she could not really do anything, needing rest. The deadline was fast approaching, and she was too sick to complete it in a timely manner. She thus requested more time to work on it, the deadline being moved back, but they were steadfast about keeping the deadline the same, thus forcing her to crunch. Overall it was a continuous cycle of stressful and unpleasant work, that eventually caused her to part ways with the company.

Also. I remember hearing about translators not being compensated.

Also, the reason why the author of Wonderlab, (Mimi, I believe she called herself), was due to her observing a general trend of frustrating behavior from Project Moon, and heavy irresponsibly leading to the harm of others and the escalation of an already tumultuous situation. I am sure there are other things, but that's all I remember off the top of my head.

Anyways, I'm not saying Project Moon should like, be completely dissolved. What I am saying is that Project Moon has participated in what I can assume are overarching sociological trends in South Korea that leads to the harm and unfair treatment of workers, and improper business being conducted. I'm not saying the justice system is perfect either, I am sure this will be a rather shaky case in a good few regards, I do not have the full context so I am afraid I cannot say. All I am saying is, don't push the rhetoric of like,

"I am on Project Moon's Side!" or "Support Project Moon!" because like. What we really need to do is step back from this all and recognize this company that has made absolutely stunning artistic works has a good few things about it that are quite compromising, and should be confronted.

[ossidae-passeridae]

I'd be fascinated to hear more about gnosticism in tlt if you ever feel like writing about it.

I honestly don't know what's already been written r.e. gnosticism and TLT, so might be reinventing the wheel here, but I'll do a brief description of the overarching themes present throughout the books?

The uh, first layer of the gnosticism onion, as it were.

So to start this off I'm going to give a broad and at least partially incorrect overview of gnosticism:

Gnosticism is a tenth century mess that's loosely based off of Christianity, but then gets Weird. Thanks to some fun political situations in the Gulf, the Christians in the South were isolated from other Christians for decades thus spun off wildly from "mainstream" Christianity. We mostly have fragments left, and a lot of them contradict each other, so working out exactly what they believed/meant is Very Fun and also Somewhat Impossible. (Like the fragments of documents left in Canaan House, you could say...)

That being said, parts of their beliefs we do know better than others. They have the bible, of course, but on top of that they also have this pre-Bible creation myth regarding how God came to be in the first place.

It goes something like: In The Beginning there was a sort of primordial god-soup. This god-soup occasionally emits binary pairs of entities, also known as aeons and (later) twin flames. These binary pairs are two souls made for one another and with one another, and together they are balanced, and perfect, and full of Holy Light(tm). Each binary pair had one grammatically-masculine name, and one grammatically-feminine name. These names do not necessarily relate to perceived gender, and in fact the binary pairs are often referred to as if they are Beyond Gender Altogether. (*stares pointedly at the Lyctors*, *stares even more pointedly at Gideon's name*) [I could probably write a whole thing on this alone, honestly, they're sometimes referred to as like, the fingers on God's hand which, yeah.]

Anyway, in this pure and godly space, there is no matter, only Holy Light. But one of the entities, known as Sophia, goes off on her own and interacts with the shadowy chaos that exists outside of the godly soup. She's half of a whole, unbalanced. And through her meddling she (unintentionally) creates another half that's not pure and holy and full of godly light, but instead a dark reflection of what he Should Be. This is generally referred to as the Demiurge.

Unlike all these other beings, the Demiurge is made of matter. He is the first thing of matter to exist and he looks around the void that he's birthed into, bare aside from him, and concludes that he and he alone is God. (Hi Jod)

Then he makes earth, and heaven, and a bunch of other things besides, the things we know as the universe today. In the immortal words of Douglass Adams — this has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

The problem is — all of these things that the Demiurge has created are made of matter. And being made of matter, they're cut off from the light of Godness (which is incorporeal and made of Pure Energy), thus inherently flawed. What's more, they're never meant to have existed in the first place. The Demiurge is tormented by his failure, but unable to create anything that is not inherently Wrong. (oh look it's the Nine Houses, I'd bet money that there's a link between being cut off from Godly Light and the Nine Houses being the only stable thanergenic planets here)

Sophia, who has watched these unintended consequences unfold and the suffering they've caused, cannot undo what's been done, but she can descend into the material world to share the light of wisdom and try to alleviate what suffering she can. So she does.

The story culminates with Christ being born and teaching all of humanity Gnosis — a special, mystical knowledge that can only come from the Divine, we are not really given specifics here — before he's sacrificed in order to make humanity's ascent beyond their material prison possible.

So that's the broad strokes of gnosticism as a religion, and also first layer of the TLT gnosticism onion. Just the really broad spectrum thematic *waves hands around* Stuff. I've refrained from speculating on the end because until Alecto comes out we really don't know.

If you want anything more specific anon, let me know?? I've been in the gnosticism soup for so long I can't always tell what's common knowledge and what isn't.

[bonefall]

would whitewater end up getting dark forested for her support of mudclaw, her hypocrisy, and her neglect?

There's a VERY high chance of it. She's almost certainly damned unless someone defended her VERY well (which is unlikely)

When StarClan makes a ruling, they aren't neccesarily deciding if you are Guilty or Innocent. They're determining if you are worthy of their ranks. You have to prove you belong in Heaven, NOT that you're not bad enough for Hell.

For most warriors this is a very simple yes, and no trial is required... but if you so much as OFFEND StarClan with your bad vibes, they might damn you just for that. Whitewater has a really bad reputation for everything she's done.

The Queen’s Rights actually work "legally" on the assumption that judgement is outsourced to StarClan, because mortals (Oakstar) can't be trusted to be impartial on this specifically. The birth of kittens cannot be used as evidence of codebreaking behavior... on the mortal plane.

StarClan was ALREADY going to give her a review just based on her affair with Mudclaw. If it ended on the Great Journey like they initially planned and she invoked QR with her Ba-less litter, there wouldn't even be a trial.

But that's not how this story goes. She was a ShadowClan cat involved in Mudclaw's rebellion, because she wanted to support him.

SHE might have only done that because she wanted to avoid ThunderClan "putting their paws in another Clan's business" or some other excuse, but StarClan says

"L + Ratio + Supported your baby daddy's coup + Set the peat on fire + What were YOU doing putting your paws in another Clan's business"

StarClan didn't even accept MUDCLAW'S explaination. They didn't even accept VIXENLEAP'S excuse, just some Thistle Law-loving RiverClan warrior who joined because Hawkyfrosty asked her to. They were always going to give Whitewater a hard time for this.

Whitewater might have been able to wrack up some goodgirl points by being a very loyal ShadowClan warrior..... and she did, a little.

But she kept her head down. No spectacular feats of redemption. Just tried to live quiet. That doesn't incur a lot of favor.

And then, the part you've been waiting for... how she treated Owlkit. Theyyyy didn't like that.

If she was sooo unattached to her mate, why did his smiting BOTHER her so much, hm?

She might have won favor for doing something very noble and giving the kittens to the bereaved Torear, but she KEPT Owlkit. Any love she had that influenced that choice drained away

and she didn't do the "right thing" for him by asking for help. She just did the bare minimum at best, and hid her abuse at worst.

Unfortunately though, the neglect and emotional abuse did not earn as much ire on their own as you're hoping. StarClan is (and was) full of much worse abusers. Hillrunner, for example.

Most of StarClan's condemnation would be based around Mudclaw's Rebellion... but they've been waiting a LONG time to process the surviving non-WindClan rebels. So... she's probably doomed.

Unfortunately I cannot imagine she takes it well. She completely ignores that Owlclaw was just a footnote in her condemnation, and uses it to confirm everything she ever believed.

"That kitten WAS meant to die that night. I should have dragged that child out into the storm with the rest of its cursed siblings. I've been shoved into the spot where Owlclaw should be!"

Hmm... maybe I should axe her shortly before the Great Battle, and actually have HER be the one who attacks Owlclaw's kittens. It would be pretty horrifying if she was the one who killed Weaselkit, her own grandchild.

[sisterdivinium]

It’s tempting to think of Jillian as an atheist given her connexion to science, her confrontation with the church in s1 and simply as a counterpoint to all the religious characters around her. I’ve used the word for her myself in fic before, but I did it fully knowing that Jillian is perhaps the character who most wants to believe.

There’s an implication that she speaks from experience when she tells Kristian one doesn’t ever really leave the church…

… And her firm principle of proving faith and science can coexist shows she has no intention of dismantling faith in itself or the value people find in spirituality.

When Luther supposedly nailed his objections to that fateful church door, he didn't intend to shake the core of what faith actually is—quite the contrary, one could argue.

Neither is Jillian trying to destabilise faith in itself... The difference is that she just decided to build her own door instead.

The church might stand in her way, yes, but one could could make a case about how it is more due to their keeping of divinium than to the criticism she directs at Vincent on the subject of Hell and the subjugation of women. She might well believe it—or any part of her performance during most of season one, really—but her conflict with the institution lies less in the way of ideology than in matters of practical consequences.

Were it not so, wouldn’t she have been a little more resistant to her son’s visions of an angel? Why believe in a child’s prophetic drawings otherwise? Even if she by any chance didn’t consider the giver of those visions an angel, the very fact of taking a vision seriously would suggest some degree of fidelity to the very idea of there being something more, something else than the life we know in this plane of existence.

If she doesn’t admit the existence of a god outright, she at least lends credence to the idea that there is something. We might not be able to take her fully at her word in the scenes where she’s playing her part as a seeker of knowledge maligned by the Vatican, but there is some amount of truth to what she says. She might not have truly found Heaven, she might not be able to prove her portal actually leads there...

… But she most certainly wants to be right. For Michael’s sake, there must be something else, even if not precisely what has been foreseen by scripture.

And, even so, she finds worth in that very scripture she doubts.

Perhaps she’s being honest when she tells Vincent she likes the stories—there’s a lot of knowledge to be found in even the simplest of them to she who knows how to seek it.

Perhaps there’s an underlying attachment of hers to the Bible, a past she cannot really abandon. It’s not all that common for people with absolutely no ties to Catholicism to have something like the image of a saint as decoration hanging in the background.

Sure, there are other religious elements scattered in her workplace including a Buddha, but it’s a man who used to be an archivist at the Vatican she hires, not a defected monk or rabbi.

Yes, she will work with anyone who is equally willing to work with her. It’s not from the goodness of her heart as there is a component of selfishness in such cooperation—one to which she admits herself—but her attitude is also a testament to the openness she has concerning the results she might obtain. Maybe the OCS is right, maybe there’s a God and saints and Heaven and Hell…

It doesn’t really matter as long as there is something, something to work towards, something to seek.

Or it didn’t matter—while Michael was alive.

She has had her proof of there being more... And she has paid a high price for learning of it.

It’s a pity we don’t know what she would have done with this information. How do we react when what we believe is confirmed to be true but not in the way we expected or desired?

Whatever shock the nuns have experienced to their faith in this business with Adriel, the perversion of the power of prayer and all else they've survived during season two, Jillian is likely to have felt the very same blow right alongside them.

[klaineharmony]

Why We Ship: Neo/Trinity (The Matrix)

I have not felt compelled to write one of these posts for a long time, but I watched The Matrix: Resurrections again while I was working this afternoon, and Goddess, I have so many feelings about these two.

I think it's hard to convey how utterly capitating the original Matrix was, back in 1999. And I could not have said, then, everything I can say about it now, because I didn't have the knowledge of myself, or the vocabulary, or simply the experience to be able to articulate why Neo and Trinity (and Trinity especially, but that's a separate post) felt like everything. Even apart from the incredible worldbuilding and commentary on society that was The Matrix itself, they were something special.

A lot of people got really salty and irritated with Resurrections because they felt like it was "less about the Matrix" and "more just about Neo and Trinity." And god damn, if that doesn't say everything about two different audiences who watched the original trilogy. If you didn't see that the whole trilogy was about Neo and Trinity's love from the beginning, then we were not watching the same films. Neo is The One because Trinity loves him; that is established in the first movie. He cannot be The One without her; he cannot believe in himself as The One without her and her love. "The Oracle told me that I would fall in love, and that the man I loved would be The One. So you see, Neo, you can't be dead. You can't be . . . because I love you." She literally brings him back from the dead with her love; she makes him The One because she loves him. She is the driving force behind all of it. And it's not a coincidence that Neo does the same for her in Reloaded; he catches her in midair, he pulls a bullet out of her body and keeps her from dying because she is everything to him.

And here I am, still writing a post that is more about Trinity than about Neo and Trinity together. But this is what still strikes me about them after all of these years: their love is complete and beautiful and all-consuming, but it is also grounded very firmly in the grim reality they are living. They are not blind about the fact that they could die; they know that every minute of every day, and every minute the spend in The Matrix, could be the last one. They do everything they can to keep that from happening, and they train with everything they have to try and prevent it, but they know, all the time, that one of them could lose the other. They cherish every moment they have, because they are living in this terrible world where another day is never a certainty. But even with all of that, and all that they feel, they are willing to fight, to do whatever needs to be done to try and bring down the machines and the Matrix. They do not shy away from what they see as their mission and their duty to others, even while they are so anchored in each other.

And it's part of what makes Revolutions so tortorous (I hated that movie when it came out; it broke my heart). They know. They've known it's coming; they've been waiting for it, and they go to die together. They still hope that somehow, they will make it, but if they don't, their entire intent is to die together. Because they love each other, they have literally saved each other's lives and brought each other back from the dead, and they have spent their entire time together trying to dismantle the Matrix. If they have to give up their lives to do it, then they will. And I think the thing that hurt so much, when I watched Revolutions as a much younger person (and who am I kidding, it still hurts) is that they still died apart. Trinity died first, and then Neo, and while Neo was with Trinity when she died, he had already been blinded and couldn't see her, and he died alone. And it felt like a betrayal of everything they were in the most gut-wrenching, soul-destroying way. Their love not only changed the world, it saved the world and destroyed the Matrix and altered the relationship between the machines and humans - and they still died apart.

I remember being emotionally devastated by that last film, so much so that I couldn't watch the trilogy again for years. I was so shattered by the ending, it hurt so much, that I couldn't bear to revisit it. And again, I don't know that I could have said that at the time, but I felt it.

When the trailer for Resurrections came out, I was so emotional the first time I watched it that I felt a little blindsided. I had packed away everything Neo and Trinity meant, because their ending hurt so much - and then there they were, on my screen again, getting another chance. Getting the second chance and the ending they should have had - defying the odds with their love one more time, and in an even more epic way. Neither of them is living, in the Matrix. As Thomas and Tiffany, they're existing. They're brainwashed. They barely remember who they used to be - Thomas is convinced it's all in his head, and Tiff is only Trinity when she's working on and riding her bikes. It's only when they find each other that they start to find themselves again. And even when Neo escapes and he's back in the real world, the hope of Trinity and his love for her is the only thing that keeps him strong enough to keep fighting, the only thing that allows him to access his former powers as The One.

They help each other survive. And it's complicated and difficult and not always pretty, and it's always in the midst of a world that is against them and trying to destroy them - but they survive because their love survives. They love together and fight together and survive together, always.

[cassandraclare]

Q&A Chain of Thorns — continues!

starlightblackstairs asked: I was wondering; why did no one ever free rupert if they knew ....

of him being trapped at chiswick? 🥹 it seemed like jesse knew that tatiana trapped his father there during that whole showdown scene but no one ever went back to help free rupert until julian and emma centuries later.

Because none of them did know he was trapped at Chiswick. Reread the scene — Chiswick is never mentioned.

What Lucie learned when she summoned Rupert was that he was not in the ordinary place ghosts go—

…she was all that was holding Rupert Blackthorn here on this earth. She could feel the starry void trying to pull him back, trying to fling him out of this world and into the other. It was taking every bit of her will to hang on… What had happened to Rupert? What binding was there on him, that was not present with other ghosts? Was it that binding that now tried to pull him away from the courtyard?

And this was confirmed by Tatiana herself— “You have been bound, bound for so long, bound in the shadows where even the other dead cannot see you. Belial promised that as long as he kept you there, he could bring you back.”

Rupert was also aware that he was in an unusual situation, we see this in his conversation with Jesse—

“If you’re a spirit—how was I a ghost for so many years and I never saw you?” 

Rupert raised a hand as if he could touch his son’s face. “Your mother made sure of that,” he said. “But Jesse—we have little time.” He was right, Lucie knew. He was slipping away from her, already growing more indistinct around the edges. His fingers were turning pale, translucent, the edges like smoke. “I was asleep,” Rupert said, “and have been awakened, but only for this moment. I died before you were ever born, my child. Yet after death, I have seen you.” 

“My mother said—you were bound in the shadows—” Jesse said haltingly. 

“I could not return as a ghost on this earth,” said Rupert gently.

He was fading faster now. Lucie could see entirely through him, see the stones of the Institute, see Jesse’s stricken face. “Yet I dreamed of you, even in my endless sleep…”

Rupert knew he had a resting place of sorts (he says to Tatiana— “I was drawn from my resting place by the cry of a Shadowhunter in battle. One who needed my help.”) But Rupert did not understand—or was unable to express—that he was specifically bound to Chiswick House.  In fact, he says he is not a ghost on this earth at all.

Lucie and Jesse’s understanding was that Tatiana—with Belial—had done something strange to keep Rupert from fully passing over into death. In the Shadowhunter world, typically the death of a magic user would cause all their charms and spells to unravel as a natural process. (We saw this happen when Malcolm was killed in TDA, and Johnny Rook, too.) If it had been just Tatiana binding Rupert, they might have thought that would have happened, but Belial was named, too. However, once both Belial and Tatiana had been killed, there was no reason for Lucie or Jesse to think that any spell would remain to bind Rupert. They would assume that Rupert was freed by the destruction of those who had bound him. They certainly didn’t know that his binding was woven in with Benedict’s complicated and equally unique house-protection spell—that was a special case, and highly unusual—so unusual that it evaded detection for decades even when the house was searched multiple times.

Sadly, once Lucie lost her special ability to command ghosts, they lost the one remaining avenue they would have had to reach Rupert, who could not appear as a ghost voluntarily until many years later, when the binding spell was beginning to deteriorate. And remember, Lucie, Jesse and James can all see ghosts, they've all been to Chiswick, and they've never seen Rupert. They've no reason to believe that even if he was a ghost, he'd be there.

It is indeed tragic that they were not able to help Rupert sooner. They just didn’t have all the information they would have needed to make that happen.