#I cried so hard while writing thsi

[elvispresleywife]

Precious Light.

Today in Australia anyway....is the day we lost a kind, fierce, loving and humorous spirit. Lisa (Yisa) Marie Presley. Today is hard. She was a beautiful person, both inside and out. To know that it's been a whole year since the news headlines, and Instagram stories came out displaying headlines like "Elvis Presley only daughter hospitalized after cardiac arrest" and so forth. I remember the day I found out it happened. I was getting ready for the dentist, and all of a sudden I go on Instagram and see the headlines. Immediately I do all the research I can, and begin praying for her recovery....but it was not meant to be. She was called home.

When the world lost Lisa Marie it was awful. I cried for hours after I found out. I didn't even know her, and yet....I miss her so badly. Just like her father, she carried an incredible light and legacy wherever she went, bringing joy to those who were joyless, and light to those who were in the dark. One of the qualities I most admire about her, was her ability to protect her family, especially her children and father at all costs. She wasn't ashamed to point out the wrong, and speak up, she was a fierce defender of the Presley name. She kept Elvis's legacy going on strong, and wasn't afraid to fight for it, even at her own expense.

When she lost precious Ben, at such a young age that he was, I believe that was the beginning of the end for her. She had experienced a life time of heartache and tragedy, more than any one person should. Being in the spotlight since she was born, only for the person who put her there to be taken away when she was 9 years old. Her mother put her in scientology and in her words 'kicked her out'. She was married 3 times, to different characters, and then went to court for multiple reasons regarding her latest ex-husband, and her battle for custody of the children. She openly admitted the fact that she was addicted to drugs, and that I believe made people love her more. Respect her more for coming out with it, rather than hiding.

In this time, we must also think and pray for her family. Her children, her grandchild, and her mother. Many people have conflicting views about Priscilla, but we must remember that Lisa is her daughter too, and we must acknowledge how hard it must be on this day, for her. I could never imagine losing a child nor how hard that would be.

So with this all said, Lisa honey, I hope your happier where you are. I hope your with your father, catching up on lost time, and laughing at old memories. I just know your father was your biggest fan, and he would be so proud of the gorgeous, courageous, incredible, beautiful woman you became. We miss you and we love you.

Love always.

Xxx.

[duckymcdoorknob]

From the Tickle fic prompts list; 19 and 25 for Lee! Ojiro? 🥺💖💖

YAY YES OF COURSEEEEE

I HAVE THE CUTEST FUCKING IDEA FOR THSI OMG OMG OMG OMG

The prompts: “freeze!”. And “not much just tickling Ojiro to pieces”

I apologize in advance because this is genuine fucking ASSCHEEKS BB. Like wow who is she and why is she so rushed and shitty.

Bank Murder 2.0

Warning! This is a tickle fic!

Hey! This was a request!

Ships: none

Warnings: tickles, a “murder”, blood mention.

The Breakdown: lee Ojiro, ler Denki.

Prompt: Officer Chargebolt is on the case! Denki, and a few of his pals, are put to the test by Iida and his group. When it’s time for gathering intel, Ojiro is the first person Denki can catch...

FUCK IM SO SORRY I FINALLY WROTE THIS AFTER 15 YEARS IVE JUST NOT HAD THE DESIRE TO WRITE MY DRAFTED FICS.

Tags: @cupcake-spice13 @littlebbyleesfw

“Alright everyone! I’ve decided that we should perform a team building exercise today!” Iida chimed from the front of the common room, having previously beckoned all of the class to it.

“But Iidaaaa!” Mina whined, “It’s our only day off!”

“Precisely!” The class rep clapped his hands together, then strode to a table which held a box.

Iida took the time to explain the system: choosing a yellow token from the box indicated the student was a hero! Choosing a red token indicated the student was a villain. Here’s the fun part. The red team planned the game, while the yellow team solved the mystery.

Here’s the layout:

Team Yellow: Denki, Bakugo, Mina, Kirishima, Tokoyami, Koda, Hagakure, Shoto, Momo, Sato.

Team Red: Ojiro, Izuku, Iida, Mineta, Jirou, Aoyama, Ochaco, Shoji, Tsuyu, Sero.

“Alright! Let’s get started, Red Team!” Iida called his teammates down to the kitchen, ready to plan the mystery.

After Iida and his team designed the perfect plan for Team Yellow, he regrouped with his classmates in the common area.

“Team Yellow, please report to the kitchen so that we may set up our game.” The class rep commanded.

The other students obliged, happily skipping down the hallway, ready for the new adventure. Except for Bakugo of course, who was rolling his eyes and sauntering along. Upon their return, they saw multiple “blood” covered patrons and Izuku “dead” on the floor, trying so hard to not laugh and break character.

“Oh my!” Momo cried upon seeing the sight of her bloodied classmates.

“You must solve the mystery. Who killed Midoriya?” Iida asked, mustering a playful tone, “The only rules are no quirk usage, no physical violence and no verbal abuses, Bakugo.”

Before the atomic blonde could bark an insult back at the speedy boy, Denki cut in.

“Alright team! First things first...” Denki looked up at the bloodied classmates in wickedness, “We need to catch someone for intel.”

Upon those words, the Red Team students scattered like mice, for they knew if they were caught it would be much harder to win.

“Get back here!” Kirishima cried in glee, chasing after his friends in suit.

Denki took off after Ojiro, who was giggling madly in anticipation of being caught. They pattered through the dorm halls, ducking in and out of rooms. Finally, Chargebolt had the tailed hero cornered.

“Freeze!” The electric blonde demanded, shortly after tackling said boy to the ground.

“WAAAH! Kaminari! Wh-“ the taller boy mentally cursed himself for being caught so easily.

“Now! You will tell me what I need to know, however and whenever, understand?” Denki barked out demand after demand, but Ojiro was destined to stay in character.

“You’ll never break me, see! I’m under the boss’s orders, see!” Somehow a monster character came from him, but he wasn’t complaining.

Kaminari was in a pickle, what was he supposed to do? The only thing he can think of is-

Oh that’ll do.

“Not gonna talk eh? Well. Better get ready, Ojiro; they don’t call me Don Turtelli for nothin’!”

“Don Turt- What are you on about?” Ojiro furrowed his brows in utter confusion.

Denki grinned evilly as he wiggled an evil claw toward his friend. “Muahahaha! Get ready to talk, Villain!” he cooed, finally bringing his hand down to squeeze at the latter’s stomach.

“GAH! Whahahahat?! K-Kahahamihihinahaharihihi!” The tailed hero wailed in shock.

“Aww I forgot how cute you sounded when you laughed!” The electric blonde cooed as he scrunched up his nose, “Now tell me who did it!”

“Neheheheveheheher!” Ojiro was determined. He was going to stay in character whether he died from tickles or not.

“Hm. That’s quite the shame, Ojiro. You leave me no choice.” Kaminari retracted his torturous hand and brought it up to hover over the trapped boy’s ribs,

“Wait! No! Kaminari!” The tailed hero whined, quickly gripping Denki’s wrist.

The electric blonde gasped dramatically, widening his eyes in sudden “shock.”

“Did you just stop my wrist?” He inquired, cocking an eyebrow.

“Kaminari- no no no! Stop!”

“Because if you grabbed my wrist that must mean you really really want me to tickle you here.”

“Denki don’t you d-AHAHAHAREHEHE!” Ojiro’s laughter increased tenfold as a more sensitive part of him had fingers fluttering on it.

“You know how to make this end!” Denki yelled as he changed his fluttering fingers to drilling with thumbs.

“GAAH!! DEHEHEHENKIHIHI! NOHOHOHOHO! EHEHENOHOHOHOUGH!”

“Enough my ass! Tell me who killed Midoriya!”

“NEHEHEHEVEHEHER!”

Poor Ojiro.

Oh well, his funeral.

Kaminari simply let out a fond breath of air as he stopped his assault on the tailed hero’s ribs.

“You leave me no choice.”

“You’ve already said that!”

“Getting cocky now are we?” The electric blonde cocked an eyebrow and wore a sly grin.

“Shut up! Let go of me! They’ll come find me soon!” Ojiro spat in defense, immediately regretting it after.

“That’s it! You have one last chance to tell me who killed Midoriya!”

“Kiss my ass!”

Denki brought back the all accursed claw and ever so slowly wiggled or above Ojiro’s torso. Where would he strike next? The tailed hero found himself giggling madly in anticipation.

“C-cmohohohon. Dehehehenks!”

The claw wiggled and squeezed the open air as it teased over the pinned boy’s body. Until it finally hit down on the hollows of his hips.

“NONONO! NOHOHOHO! KAHAHAHAMINAHAHARIHIHIHI! STAHAHAHAHAPPIHIHIHIT!”

“TELL ME WHO KILLED HIM!”

“IHIHIHI CAHAHAHANT! THEHEHEHEYLL KIHIHIHILL MEHEHEHEHEHE!”

“Then die I guess.”

“You’ll never get me Tokoyami!” A cooing voice sounded from outside the door, the handle jiggling shortly after.

Through his hysterics, Ojiro managed to find out who his saving grace was. It was no other than Hanta Sero.

“SEHEHEHEROHOHO! GEHEHET HIHIHIHIM OHOHOHOFF!”

“Denki What are you doing?!”

“Nothin’!” Kaminari hummed, “Just tickling Ojiro to pieces.”

“Get off of him!” Sero barked, tackling Denki off of his teammate, “Are you okay? Did you spill?”

“M’fine. And no. I kept quiet.”

Sero’s lips curled into a menacing smile, “Perfect.”

The electric hero wrestled with Sero as he chuckled awkwardly, “Heh. Could we uh- could we talk about this?”

“Sure.” Ojiro chimed as he rose to his feet, “If you tell us what your plan is to stop us.”

“Now why would I do th- oh...”

Sooner than when the realization kicked in was Denki being attacked by two villains. What an unfair advantage.

——————✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞♡︎✞——————

[im-the-punk-who]

Hey, I was wondering if you have a book rec

!!

Okay so in full disclosure, I have a really hard time reading books. My brain sometime around six years ago just decided that wasn't its style anymore, so I don't read a TON. A lot of these aren’t going to be recent releases. However, here are a bunch of books I would absolutely recommend checking out! I tried to include a variety of genres but I have uh.....five bookshelves in my apartment so if you're looking for more of a certain genre let me know!

Theatre:

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead - Tom Stoppard

Waiting for Godot - Samuel Beckett

These are my two favorite plays - they're both absurdist, humorous, and have some fun things to say. They’re both by old white guys but like....I love both Tom Stoppard and Samuel Beckett DEEPLY and they have all of my love and respect.

Non-Fiction/Educational:

Why are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum - this is considered a 'classic' on the psychology of racism, and was particularly helpful for me as a white person in arming myself against 'reverse racism' thoughts and in dissembling my own prejudices. This is mostly a rec for other white folks, but Tatum also addresses 'having the courage to sit at the black table' as a way of claiming your own identity outside of the stereotypes the dominant society expects of you.

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown - Okay listen I just really REALLY love Brene Brown, she is a therapist most famous for her TED talk about Vulnerability and this is just...listen I really like to read this book when I am sad and feel like shit because it makes me feel strong. I reread this book at least once a year.

Imagined Communities by Benendict Anderson - This is an absolutely fascinating read on the rise of nationalism. It’s a bit dry and wordy, but the ideas and use of history as propaganda, spinning the story of a nation to pit it against or on the same side as other nations, and the ways in which these tactics shaped cultural history is just!!!! Amazing.

Gay New York by George Chauncey - This is just one of the most informative and interesting reads of queer history in New York that I’ve ever come across. It’s one of the ‘must reads’ of queer history and has so many interesting tidbits that I have to recommend it. It’s a bit old(published in 1994) but I still find it relevant and interesting to read.

Personal Fiction/Autobiographical Fiction

White Girls by Hilton Als - I went to a reading of this book when it first came out. It was so much fun and so eye-opening for me as a baby queer in NYC that I bought the book there. I wanna be really clear that Als does not pull punches and a lot of people don’t quite like it, but I love Als’ style of writing. The stories and essays in this book are amazing and funny and heartbreaking and informative of queer experience - particularly black queer experience - that I always feel like...honored? to experience through writing? This is one of those ‘you’re gonna suffer but you’re gonna be happy about it’ reads - it can be hard to face because of how very hard the pills are to swallow but like....gosh I just love this book and it’s interesting and hilarious and great.

Confessions of an Economic Hitman by John Perkins  - this is my tin hat favorite. It hits....ugh. This is one of those books that came out and like every government agency freaked the fuck out over it. It’s an interesting look into the quote-unquote dark underbelly of capitalism; how and why countries manipulate each other through economic policies. Super interesting read with a nice style of prose.

The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to become the Smartest Person in the World by A.J. Jacobs Okay so full disclosure I have not finished reading this, but I’m far enough through to rec it. This book chronicles the author’s attempt to read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica from front to back, and it is just as kooky and hilarious as it sounds. I am very incredibly and deeply offended this author stole both my schtick and my initials, thereby preventing me from doing this exact thing. I read through the phone book in its entirety when I was three. I had it in me. Anyway, this is basically the author just listing weird interesting facts he’s read about and connecting them to his daily life, but it’s a fun read, and you learn a lot of totally useless facts, which is absolutely my jam.

When Skatboards Will Be Free by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh - HI I LOVE THIS BOOK. I’ve read it maybe three times over. It’s so fun and interesting. You may notice that a lot of the books I rec are very absurdist in their humor, and this is no exception. This book is full of the dry wit and just weird goddamn shit you could only expect from the child of a revolution that never came. You want to read a book about someone who Went Through Shit? Read this book. It’s funny and heartbreaking and just. AHHHH. Seriously I cannot recommend this enough.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosch - FIGHT ME ON THIS. I love this book.....so much. Yes it’s technically a comic book but the stories are so INTERESTING and hilarious and full of exactly the dry absurdist humor I eat the fuck up. Also! Allie Brosch recently released a sequel of sorts called Solutions and Other Problems that I recommend without even reading it.

Poetry

Pansy by Andrea Gibson - IF YOU ARE NOT READING THE POETRY OF ANDREA GIBSON WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. I cried seven times reading this book. There are only like 14 poems. Please please read this to break your own queer heart :)

Bloodsport by Yves Olade - This is a tiny book full of absolutely devastating poetry. Most of it has to do with the grief of relationships, but like....gosh I love all of Olade’s stuff. (Also!! This is available as a pay-what-you-wish pdf!!)

Bright Dead Things by Ada Limón - This book focuses a lot on the author’s experiences of loss, and knowing that loss is going to happen. I’m completely devastated every time I read this.

Science Fiction/Fantasy

The Bartimeaus Sequence by Jonathan Stroud - So what if I am a dumb millennial I love this series. It’s another dry and deadpan humor, with weird additions and Stroud’s use of footnotes to absolutely crack me the fuck up means I gotta rec this. I just gotta. Four(I think?) books following the deeply unlikeable Nathaniel and his Djinn Bartimaeus, who just wants to eat humans and have a deeply enjoyable enemies to lovers plotline with his arch rival.

The Magic's Price Trilogy by Mercedes Lackey - Okay I know I’ve recced this before. I will rec it again. This was the very first series I ever read that featured a gay protagonist and I was. Devastated? Reformed? I latched onto Vanyel Ashkevron and I am never letting this depressed emo boy go. Try me, I bite. Seriously, this book was released in the 80s and yet it is still relevant, I still cry - god i LOVE this series SO MUCH. And, MERCEDES LACKEY actually invented unbury your gays, sorry I make the rule on that one. :) Also there are magic talking horses??????? Seriously please read this series I love it so much.

Fire Bringer & The Sight by David Clement-Davies - This is another series that was absolutely formative in my baby lexicon. These are books about magical animals and their inner societal workings and both books address the ideas of good, evil, darkness, compassion and good will, and destiny. I am obsessed with these books, they are some of the most interesting of the genre I’ve read, and so incredibly intricately written. LOVE these books.

Vampire Earth Series by E. E. Knight - The Witcher before it was cool. Sort of but like...there are schools of Cat, Bear, etc and it has COOL VAMPIRES I LOVE THSI SERIES. Basically, earth has been taken over by a race of alien ‘Vampires’ and follows a human involved in the resistance. The writing in this series is...wow. It’s so intricate and interesting and involved. I own the whole series because I love it so much, including the after-series hardback novels. I’m so messy and I love it.

Kindred by Octavia Butler - You know how people are like ‘YOU SHOULD READ OCTAVIA BUTLER!!’ ? You should absolutely do that. This novel is mindblowing and interesting and the pace and narrative are so so so interesting. Heartbreaking, god, horrific. Butler is an amazing writer and this novel, while my personal favorite, is not by any means the only of her books I would recommend. STORIES. STORIES!!!!!!!

Fiction

The Ballad of Barnabas Pierkiel: A Novel by Magdalena Zyzak - This book is so fucking good. It’s imaginative, funny, intelligent....it’s honestly one of the best fiction novels I’ve ever read. Again, dry, absurdist humor, this book sort of reminds me of Terry Pratchett’s style of writing.

The Call of the Wild by Jack London - This is a classic, a true classic. The social commentary of this book is so so good, London’s style flows and, personally, as a dog and animal expert, the anthropomorphisation of Buck and his fellow animals is just so well done. I love this book, it’s quite an easy read, and I reread it at least once a year.

Rolling the R's by R. Zamora Linmark - Okay. Okay okay!!!!!! I gotta take a deep breath about this one. This book is. Yuh. This is a bit younger leaning than the other fictions, focusing almost entirely on high school level characters, however the experiences and commentary is just so so good. Focusing on a diverse group of characters growing up in Hawaii in the 1970′s, this book addresses the intersectionalities of gender, sexuality, race, immigration, education, and how we define who we are. I’m obsessed.

A Separate Peace by John Knowles - A heartbreaking novel about war, innocence, adolescence, and how we hide from our truths. It’s...so good, this book hurts me a LOT okay. The prose is phenomenal, the story is poignant, and it feels like I’m ripping my own heart out with a fishhook every time I finish it.

The Toss of a Lemon by Padma Viswanathan - This is one of those books I half recommend because it’s so good, and half because of the deep wealth of knowledge it presents the reader. The author’s use of her own culture is just....goddddddddd. Intricate and interesting and so delicately included in the narrative that you can feel the love the author has for it. It’s a long read and it took me almost a month to get through reading every day, but god. It’s so soft and amazingly written I both wanted to read it all at once and take my time with it. This is another one that deals with the duality of humanity and how we connect with one another. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

P.S. Your Cat Is Dead by James Kirkwood Jr. - I love this book I love this book I LOVE THIS BOOK. It’s fucking hilarious, entertaining, I literally laughed out loud at every single chapter. Hilarious and poignant and surprisingly deep, this book literally follows the journey of a man in which literally everything that could go wrong does. It’s fucking hilarious.

I hope that helped and gave you some new books!!! <3

[florencefallons]

Life and Stuff

August 10, 2020. The the first day of the most insane month of my life. Of course it would happen in 2020. I hope you’ll forgive me for using this platform as a means to get the thoughts jumbled around in my head out into a more organized form. I rarely ever even use this platform anymore. When I do, it’s to reblog pictures of Carol Burnett or Barbara Stanwyck. The occasional Emma Thompson photo. Never to sit down and spill out everything on my mind into what, very likely, will become a novella on its own.

I’m not a prolific speaker. I trip over my words. I say “um,” and “uh” a lot. My brain is moving at twice the speed of my mouth and my poor mouth can’t keep up. Therefore when I have things on my mind, like I do today, I can’t just talk about them. A) Who would I talk about it to? and B) Even if I had a place to talk about these thoughts, it would come out all jumbled up and I’d end up sounding totally ridiculous and having said nothing I wanted to actually say.

When it comes to expression, writing is where I’ve always excelled. Excelled is a strong word, but when you compare it to other forms of self expression, it’s the only form I am able to use proficiently. I don’t have a vlog or a youtube channel. I don’t have a blog that reaches people. I have no voice. No influence in this world. But I have this platform and it allows for posts like this, and for once, I’m going to use it.

As I said, August 10, 2020 was the first day of the most insane month of my life. More has happened to me in this one month span than has happened to me at any other time in my life...and you’re hearing from a person who was injured on the job and has had a fractured spine and 13 surgeries. I’ve been through some stuff. Nothing with the intensity and frequency this month has thrown it at me though. This month has resulted in seven major events that have deeply impacted my life in some way. Nobody is being forced to read this. In fact I expect most will see its length and scroll past it faster than a fundraising ad for Donald Trump. I do hope SOME of you will take the time to read it though. I’m mainly writing it for posterity. To have a place where this month is recorded, so I can come back someday and remember it. So, with that being said, here are the things that have happened (or are soon to happen) in this 1 month span. Listed in chronological order.

1) August 10, 2020. I was in my 2nd week of work at the new clinic our hospital opened. Working for the largest hospital and clinic system in the state, sometimes our clinics outgrow our ability to contain them. My job was in the neurology clinic. I worked as the nurse who took care of all the multiple sclerosis doctors and nurse practitioners, while answering all the patient questions, emails, and voicemails. We’re looking at about 2,500 patients on the generous side of the estimate. Needless to say, I was busy. It was said many times by coworkers, by the doctors I worked with, and--admittedly--by me, that the job was a two-person job. It was too much for one person to handle. I was drowning fast in a mountain of paperwork that needed to be filled out, messages that needed to be answered, phone calls that needed to be returned. I’d accomplish finishing, say 25% of the work, and 50% more work would come in. I was at the end of my rope. 

--Let me interject here by saying that, over the course of the 16 months I worked this job, I had to start seeing a psychiatrist, I had to start psychological therapy with a licensed therapist, and I was started on no less than 5 new psychiatric medications. Once the correct balance was found, I was reduced down to only 2, but regardless, I think this fact alone proves the point that the stress of the job was getting to me.--

I finally looked at the mountain of work in front of me and I broke. I set up a meeting with my boss, the director of nursing for all of the neuroscience service line (that covers 6 clinics). We met, and I told her “You told me to be open and honest, and to come to you whenever I have an issue.” She agreed. I went on to tell her that I was losing my mind. The workload was entirely too much to hold over one person and needed help. Desperately. I was constantly being interrupted by people needing help with this or that, which was fine. I don’t mind helping anyone, I love it...but it took away from the time I had to do my already overwhelming job. I may have cried some, I don’t remember. 

Her solution was probably the worst idea ever put forth, but I was so devastated and down and overwhelmed, I didn’t really even hear anything she said after I spoke my piece. Her suggestion was that, if our clinic was too hectic for me, I needed to transfer to the new clinic. It was an epilepsy clinic but we had 2 multiple sclerosis providers there too, so I could go there and be the MS nurse there. At that moment, that sounded like a great idea. Fewer people=less stress. Yeah, no. Once she sent me over there, she decided with me being there, they had no need to keep our patient care tech there. So she took her away and made her work at the main campus, where they have tons of patient care techs. That left me and another nurse who, due to a bad knee, did very little that tinvolved getting up off his ass and helping out with goings on in the clinic. He much preferred to sit in his fancy chair and delegate duties to me from there. I was younger, I was newer, and he was--in his mind--the charge nurse.

So, thus began the saga of my doing at the new clinic, the job that THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE did at the main clinic. I was forced to triage (get into a patient room and go over everything to make sure it was up to date) every patient, draw labs on every patient, all while trying to do the job I was ACTUALLY hired for, which was answering phone calls and returning messages. Which was a full time job on its own. Needless to say, my “new’ duties took all that time away and all my stuff went unanswered. I kept getting harassed by patients and managers that stuff had been sitting waiting too long to be done. 

Mr. Charge nurse, from his chair he never left, didn’t understand what all the fuss was about. “It’s not that bad here” he’d say. Sure, if you never have to get up and do anything, but for me, it’s very hard. I have to do all the job of a PCT (getting paid nurses’ wages by the way) along with a job just as busy as the one you’re having to do. I’m expected to do as much if not more in the computer as you do, yet I never have time to touch it because I’m always triaging patients (half of which are YOURS) and drawing all the labs. Well of course he disagreed and said he helped and I was overreacting. By that he means he maybe got up once or twice a day because someone needed attention and I was still busy in another patient’s room.  My boss would berate me, asking why my inbox was sitting there so full and nothing was being done. 

“WHEN DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THESE THINGS *Insert her name here*??? I spend my entire day, I mean my ENTIRE day, doing the job of a PCT and you’re paying me to do the job of an RN. “Well, *insert his name* says he helps you.” That’s a damn lie and he knows it. He thinks that he’s the charge nurse, he’s older, and he has a bum knee (mind you I have my entire lower half of my spine fused so don’t give me that “I have hardware in my knee” bullshit. I’m full of titanium too. Fight me.) Well, help was refused, the other nurse was just told to try and help more and that he was not the charge nurse, that our clinic didn’t HAVE a charge nurse since there were only 2 of us. Well, he got so butthurt over that, he interviewed for a new job in the same building as our main clinic. He was offered the job. He was getting ready to give his notice and I was literally at the end of my sanity. So I turned in my notice to my manager on August 10, 2020. I told her I couldn’t keep doing the job of 3 people by myself and it was too much I was through. My doctors begged me to stay. She asked if I was sure that’s what I wanted. I said it wasn’t what I WANTED, but I can’t keep working like this. So I really don’t have a choice. “Well we don’t have the staff or money allocated to give you a tech if you’re over here.” So I shrugged, said I was giving her 4 weeks notice and I’d have to leave.

This was a Monday. On Wednesday, she came back and not only gave our tech back, she gave (*insert his name here*) everything he wanted, because she’d caught wind he was getting ready to leave too and she’d have no nurses at the clinic. I told her I’d retract my resignation if she would let us keep our patient care tech, because with her, I have time to actually do my job. She all but said “OK” and to give her a definite answer on Monday. So I did. Monday I told her I’d stay since we had adequate help. Well apparently she discussed thsi with her boss and came back at me with “Sorry, but all we can accommodate is an as needed position or you can extend your leave date and stay on full time until your replacement is hired and you can train them to make the transition easier.”

Are you freaking serious, bruh? “As needed” meaning “free reign to fire you with no consequences when we don’t want you anymore, plus all my benefits would be taken away.” Or, I could “stay and help train my replacement.” Are you out of your mind? Then what? Fuck off into the sunset, your job here is finished? I think I’ll take a hard pass on both those options. My last day will be September 4.

So, while going through all this I was being tested and was diagnosed with not one, but two life-altering disorders.

2) First, I was diagnosed with severe attention deficit disorder. I was told I’d actually had it my whole life based on testing and had never been evaluated or treated. This would have been the 1990s when this started, and I found out my parents were approached about the possibility I had ADD. I made excellent grades, but had major problems with impulse control and talking too much and paying attention. My parents dismissed this suggestion. They did not--and to this day still did not--believe ADD was a real diagnosis. They said ti was nothing more than kids who needed their asses beat and they’d learn to behave. I could not possibly be one of those hyperactive kids who suck in school and just all-around do poorly. I did too well in school. I was told to pay attention more and stop goofing off. I was threatened with spankings if I messed up. So I worked really hard to stop my impulses from taking over. And I did, some, but not always. I got punished quite a bit for things I did in school. Not on purpose, but it’s how I was. And now, as an adult, I was still struggling with impusle control and with paying attention. I still struggled in prioritizing tasks and organizing things. I could never figure out why my brain wouldn’t let me do those things. My PCP said I had ADD--he KNEW it--but I had to be diagnosed by a licensed psychotherapist. So I went and was diagnosed. And it changed my world. It was a lot to process, knowing what I went through as a kid and knowing the punishment I went through for something that was not my fault. I wasn’t abused, I wasn’t mistreated. If I’d been treated for ADD as a child though, I might not have just done well in school, I might have kicked ass. I might have been valedictorian rather than 6th in class to graduate. That was hard to swallow. Yet a relief at the same time.

3) Went to the sleep clinic and got a take-home sleep apnea study kit. It came back positive for sleep apnea. My oxygen was dropping to 70% at night, which is basically hypoxic, and the reason I’m probably so sleepy all the damn time. As soon as I get home from work and get settled, I fall asleep for at least an hour, maybe 2. I haven’t always done that. I used to have trouble sleeping to the point I needed Lunesta for help (although the taste was so bad I rarely took it).Sure enough, I need CPAP when I sleep to help keep my oxygen over 92%. They told me I’d feel better almost instantly. So I’m hoping to go see them next week about getting my machine. 

4) My friend’s little 4-year-old niece died. She was a special, miracle child who touched so many lives it’s insane. She was a beautiful soul. I never met her but her death affected me profoundly because her aunt posted so many photos and videos online. I felt like I lost one of my godchildren or something. It hurt. I can’t imagine what they are going through.

5) My uncle Jerry died. The day after the little girl I just mentioned. I can’t even attend HIS funeral due to COVID and the risk of contamination. My mom is  on a chemo drug for an autoimmune disease that destroys her immune system. So we’re trapped away from everyone (if I want to see my mom that is). 

6) My last day of my job was today, September 4, 2020. It finally came, my time there is done. 16 months of hard work down the toilet. Because of poor management, shitty leadership, lack of care or respect for employees, etc. I offered to stay, but my offer was rejected as it was given. It just served to remind me I made the right decision, even if it was a bit rash. Several others have quit or gotten fired so staffing will be interesting. My old “charge nurse” is about to learn what getting off your broad butt and helping is all about now. They aren’t sending him ANY nurses to help him next week. I’ll be honest, I hope the whole thing blows up in (insert name here)’s (my director’s) face. she is trying to run the neuro clinic like she runs her other clinic--which is TOTALLY DIFFERENT. I thought she’d be good for the clinic, turns out she wants to get rikd of EVREYONE who has FMLA-Anyone who has permission to be off work without fear of repercussions. She wants a bunch of “as needed” staff so she doesn’t have to hire full time people, she doesn’t have to pay anyone benefits, and she can get rid of them whenever she likes “your as needed position is no longer needed,” without going through all the bullcrap red tape the state puts you through to fire anyone. Anyway, bottom line, today was my last day at a job that--the job itself--I loved. The patients I loved, the doctors and nurses I loved, and my coworkers I loved. I have never left a job I loved. It was 100% management. My main doctor, the medical director of the service line, did not want me to leave and keeps asking me to say. I had to explain to him I tried, but they refused. Broke my heart. He’d take me back in a minute though, if the situation at the clinic ever changes. I hope it does. He was the most brilliant, kind, generous, respectful, patient, and dedicated man I’ve ever met. He taught me a lot. I’ll take a lot of what I learned from him with me wherever I go.

7) The final thing has not happened just yet, but it will be very soon and I’m already dealing with it. So September 7 is the 1 year anniversary of the death of my best friend. I still miss her like it was yesterday. Time has, as they say, healed some of the wound, but not all. Every now and then I get slammed with the realization she’s gone. I’ll never see her again. Talk to her. Hug her. Laugh with her. Ever. Again. And I cry and suffer with it all over again. That is happening less frequently, but it has picked up again now that 1 year is approaching. I can’t believe it. My best friend has been dead for 1 year. The 1 year anniversary of the last time we spoke was August 20. It hurts so much. But slowly, over this year, I’ve started dreading getting up in the morning a little less, I can breathe again, a little. I can laugh again without feeling guilty about it. I’ve finally hit all the 1 year milestones with her death (well, as of 9/7). I’m going to her grave this weekend to place some special things I purchased in honor of her 1 year anniversary since her passing. Damn I miss her so much.

So, this month--this whole year technically--has been a lot to process. A lot to find out, a lot to digest, and a lot to grieve through. I keep thinking “it can’t possibly get any worse, maybe things will get better now” and it always does. That trend for 2020 doesn’t bode well with the election coming up. That makes me so nervous I feel sick. But I refuse to get political here. If you’ve stayed with it this far, you have tremendous stamina and I salute you. It’s taken me hours and several breaks to write thanks to my ADD and just being sleepy and falling asleep in the middle of typing. But that’s it, my month inside the year straight out of hell. 

[lokbobpop]

Cry

to produce tears from your eyes often while making loud sounds because of pain, sorrow, or other strong emotions. : to shout or say something loudly.

C13: from Old French crier, from Latin quirītāre to call for help.

Cry why c ry cr y

Writing the word cry

Not wanting to cry not wanting to be seen as crying shamed of crying as when i was a child being told off fro crying and then thinking crying is wrong and I shouldn’t do it and should stop crying so shame built up around crying and that i need to hide my shame or just not do it at all i see when i cry i hold it back because im not sure on how much i should cry so never really cry last night we had to put our dog to sleep and i was holding back how much I cried I tried so hard to be strong and today i thing why its ok to cry your nit weak you can express yourself it’s ok you can feel sad as it was very sad, but not i see the moment has gone for me now and i just cant cry but next time i will embrace my cry’s i need to cry i fi have to.

Reading the word cry

Trin didnt just cry she screamed she was the most unhappiest of baby’s always crying screaming it was a bloody nightmare even now she is so easy to cry loud i would feel waves of dread come over me with having to deal with what was wrong now what am i going to have do now how can i stop it now and so on. Even now she will ring me crying when she in pain not well crying loudly to get my attention.

Baby’s crying how it makes me feel on Edge i cant stand it im like please stop that baby from crying ti brings back bad memories i think it sort of cuts me like a knife

When someone cry’s around me i feel i cant or dont know how ti handle the situation do i comfort them or not i will always try but feel weird about what i should do to help do they want me affection or not.

I dont watch sad movies because i dont want to cry i dont like getting emotional it doesnt feel right it feels uncomfortable i feel i need to calm down or just bottle it up most liking hide it away interesting crying this word who would of thought it.

Cry baby buntin something said a school if someone cried this is what they would say to you so you wouldn’t cry anymore because you were ashamed of crying mean kids i think.

Cry’s for help how some people’s cry’s are not heard and they commit suicide the torment they must have to go through to to be able to harm themselves in such a way is beyond me.

Saying cry out loud

The thought of tears running down my face uncontrollably deep pain heavy in my heart total sadness when ive cried

Ive cried when I need hurt by men cheated on left not wanted anymore this has been heavy in my heart when crying when our dog jukie died my nan how crying is completely overwhelming

When i was have it my C section they showed me leilani and i cried tears of joy i cant ever remember if ive cried with tears of joy before i but sure i would have done surely lol

Sf

Does this definition support me no heartache and pain it reminds me of and the polarity of of tears of joy i see I haven’t embraced crying and i so wished i walked thsi word yesterday when out dog died maybe later i will express myself with crying to see how it goes to let go and grieve when im alone.

Cry fly

Cry to have emotional feelings of joy or grief

How will i live this word? I will live cry by embracing who i am within crying i will let it out without guilt i made myself feel guilt for crying no one else ot blame up myself who new no better Then but i do now and dont have to live this fear of expression within me no more shame i take charge of who i am within crying.

[dahlthir-blog]

    ➜ Liu “Redbean” Canglong has been accepted!

Welcome to Dahlthir, Kat! Your application for Liu “Redbean” Canglong has been approved. You’ll have 5 days to turn in your blog to the masterlist. If you need more time, you can send us a message!

The character portion of the application can be found under the cut. There he is! The good bean!! Oh jeez though oh man. The half-elf struggle is so sad but also so good. They were so happy after Liu spoke and they were bringing him to his father and then!! And then! But even after all that, Liu didn’t kill his father and chose to help right his wrongs. I can’t believe this good bean. I love him.

( CHARACTER SECTION )

Other Characters: Zacharius Leodegar

Faceclaim: original art

Character Name: Liu “Redbean” Canglong Housing: Inn Age: 19

Appearance :

Are they a part of the Adventurer’s Guild? : Not at the moment, they’re still trying to find themselves and being solo —- How long have they been part of the Guild: negative five days

Warnings :

Personality:

When one things of a monk, they think somebody stoic and cool in the face of danger. Redbean is none of this. While brave, his emotions gets the better of him. His need to right wrongs and heroism is both a virtue and his downfall. Raised by a dwarf, Redbean was instilled with three tenets that influences every action he has. Treat others well, protect the weak, and always live life full of love and happiness.

The monastery taught him that hard work and being humble goes along way and Canglong becomes the type to help for the sake of helping. Material possessions have no matter to him but he does respect their value when needed for things such as clothes, food, and protection.

While at first glace he may seem quiet, once he’s comfortable Canglong is quite the talker, always with a wise word to say. He prides himself on how he reads a situation and a willing participate in many a shenanigans, which may stem from his motley crew of boys back at the temple.

But whatever light is in his heart, there is also a darkness, modeled by seeing the darkness in the world and they evil actions they bestow. He doesn’t fall for thsi darkness and instead uses it to help him turn the world better. But he knows that all cannot be helped and that sometimes some measures have to be taken to fully ensure peace will happen.

Background :

His father was a solider, a man who through brute strength and cunning plowed his way through the enemies and ranks. Earning himself a high rank and honorable discharge. A boon was given to him for his years of service, land and the title of magistrate for a county. Settling into the valley he built himself a large manor into the county seat of Sparrow’s Roost.  From there he began to gain power and with it greed began to grow.

His manor began to grow and with it the amount of servants needed for the upkeep of it. One of these servants was a young wood elf, who when the man laid eyes on her fell deeply in lust and wanted her for his own. However, all the man wants is fun. When the servant girl winds up pregnant, fear settles in the man’s heart. Not only will there be child who might usurp his role. That child will be an abomination. A half-elf. So he did what any power hungry man did. Send the woman off away from his lands to the unknown territories of the forest.

The woods though. Was the young woman’s home as a child and her village lays deep in the canopies. Accompanied by two travelers, the woman reached her home village where in due time she would give birth to a son.

On the day of his birth a mythical creature known as the Ki-Rin flew over the village. Flagged down by the village chief, the Ki-Rin blessed the day with lights and fire. Then spoke a prophacy. “When the child can walk and say his first word, take him to his father for their meeting will cause him to help the world.”

Moons passed and finally the auspicious day arrive, near the first birthday of the child on a warm spring day. A plum tree blooms early and from it the child walked to the tree and said “flowers” The village rejoiced and soon enough following the words of the Ki-Rin had the woman, the child, and a band of adventurers take them back to Sparrow’s Roost.

Their arrival fell upon the day of a festival, lights were hung and food was prepared on the side of nearly every open road in the city. Their task was of utmost importance, not even allowing the child a snack or gift. With hurried footsteps the group made their way towards the manor. Right into the middle of a grand banquet.

The man roared in anger at the uninvited guests, soon recognizing the woman before him and the toddler next to her. “Guards! Detain these scum at once!” He roared, scaring the child who began to cry in the middle of the hall. “YANG WAN!” The woman cried out, “This boy is your son!” This revelation caused all heads to turn towards the man. Who stood up and grabbed his giant spiked club.

“Lies! This woman tell lies! I would not father an abomination like this! You dare accuse me of having a monstrosity like this as my son? Slander! Dishonor! Men. Separate this filth with the abomination. Take her to the cell, kill the men, and feed the child to the wolves in the mountains above.”

Doors slammed open then shut, as guards rushed into the feast, screams and cries filled the room as halberds were thrusted and arrows shot. The adventurers with the fell one by one. Another guard grabbed the child and kicked the woman to the floor. Before she could be detained however on the adventurers grabbed her and ran out the manor into the crowds below and into darkness. Soldier followed suit after them. The child still crying was thrown into a bag carried out of the city.

The climb was tiresome but the guards did not want to anger their magistrate. As they reached a high cliff, the crying caught the attention of an elderly dwarf, his simple robes and beads showed that he was a monk. Possibly the monks who live in the nearby areas from a temple in the clouds. He asked what they were doing, to which the duo replied

“Taking out the trash, this child lost its mother and nobody will tend to a half elf like him. He will starve in the streets, we’re doing him a favor. Sending him back to whatever trees these elves consider a god.”

They laughed as the one holding the sack swung it backwards to build momentum in his throw. Before he could release, the monk in two quick strikes of his monk spade knocking the two unconscious. Taking the child of the sack, the monk picked him up and believing he was an orphan took in the child. Climbing the mountain, then another as they reached a high peak past the clouds. A walled fortress looms in their grasp as a waterfall break a hole through it.

The dwarf named the child Canglong, and gives him the family name of the temple Liu. There he would be raised alongside many other boys in the practice of hard work and servitude. He lived a good life in here. It was simple but good. He had meals every day, they taught him not only martial arts, but to read and write, and find beauty in life.

There comes a time though, when an initiate becomes of age they may leave the monastery or stay to become a master. To become a master however, requires a trial.  Which Canglong begged his teacher and adoptive father for. To which the monk denied, telling him it is not up to him to find his trial but to find it himself.

Angry at this, Canglong along with two other initiates decided that they may test fate by seeing the entire world. The entire world they assumed could be seen at the very peak of the mountain they lived in. The journey was short but perilous as ice and wind become enemies of anybody who dare to climb it. A windstorm stopped them as they took shelter in a cave a voice called out to them. Each word vile and dark. Taunting the teenagers as echoes. The boys kept their ground until the voice showed its face, tall and blue. Teeth and claws black. An eerie grin fell upon its face as it ran, claws extended to swipe at the three boys.

Before the could hit, a light filled the dark cave and instead of the Oni, was a Ki-Rin in its place. Shining a warm light on the monks. Its voice boomed and turned its gaze towards Canglong.

“You boy. You were the one whose birth I blessed. It seems my words went another direction eh? You still have a life to live but you cannot find your peace until you meet the man who is your father. Go past this mountain and you will fidn a village. That is your first step. Now go, do not take any longer. ”

It spoke in the mind of everybody near it, and as quick as it came it left. Gliding through the air and disappearing. The three boys looked at each and fell to the ground. their bodies weak. Canglong was the first to speak. “We….I’m….Uh…..This is it! This was the sign I was looking fo-”

“LIU CANGLONG! LIU YU, SHOU LING!”

Rapid footsteps echoed in the cave. Following the familiar guttural yell of a certain dwarf.  Head turned to see the dwarf and five other monks from the Monastery. Their faces stern but yet relieved. One of them stepped forward and asked if that really was a Ki-Rin. To which Canglong grinned widely and bounded to his master.

“Master! I’m sure the Ki-Rin spoke to you too! Did you hear it! It said my destiny would be down below! I have to go now!”

The dwarf, reluctant of letting Canglong go knew he had to. The world has spoken. Agreeing. After first punishing the three for a night. The monks gave Canglong a pack, and a scroll. Proof that he was finally allowed off the mountain.

His adventure truly began, as he descended he noticed a plume of smoke, the hero in him quickened his pace stopping at a village in flames. Armed men began chasing and killing innocent villagers. Canglong couldn’t have any of this pushed in.  Taking out a small number of soldiers alongside a woman with clad in armor. With the armed men driven out, Canglong was thanked by the villagers and the woman. Who questioned just exactly who he is. To which he prompty asnwered.

“A monk, truly? I thought your people were only of legend. Warriors who fight with only their bare fist. Now i have seen it up close. Forgive me Canglong. I am Zhu Ji, and this is my brother Zhu Dong, and our allies Ling Yun, Zhao Yi, and Lu Jiao.”

She said, pointing at a man who wore a similar sigil on his robes to her, a halfling wielding a hammer that relative to his body size was in fact large, a woman in leather armor and staff, and a masked individual with his bow still pulled and an arrow ready to fire.

“We’re part of the lord’s army who came to investigate this land, however most of our men died upon entering this valley and now we see why. A lone man stands in this valley and his fists are iron. We have been charged with arresting him, however he has an army and we do not. He controls the only way in and out of this valley and we have no way of calling for help. But! Lo and behold! We seem to have another join us. Perhaps you will help us in our endeavors?”  

Canglong was taken aback, he found himself in the middle of a war. Was this all part of his fate? He believed so and he knew he had to. To protect the weak was a tenant that he believed in his whole life. He couldn’t say no to this. So he agreed to this.

Later that night, while resting at an inn the team had a conference. Trying to figure out exactly how to get help. The terrain of this valley is almost like a natural fortification, this Canglong responded. “Why not ask the people? They know this area best yeah? We could maybe form a militia, train them in both steel and fists.” Through out the night and the following days the team argued, until finally agreeing that this would be their best bet.

This decided they spread the word, in quiet whispers and hidden words. Gathering people under the nose of the tyrant. Weeks past and soon months until their army was ready. Ready to win the freedom of their land after so long.

On a cold winter’s day, snow fell, but rising was the passion and courage fo the people. Marching towards Sparrow’s Roost. Greeting them was the magistrate personal army. Two forces, one under a purple banner with the face of a demon. The other, full of song and passion, and a need for freedom.

The battle raged on for days. Casualties on both side, however when things looked at their worse. A screech filled the skies, as a number of giant eagles filled the air. In the center of them, was a familiar golden being.

“KI-RIN!”

Canglong cried out from atop a horse. The tide of battle changed as many animals joined the fray. Eagles, bears, tigers, and from the looks of it. A……

“IS THAT A DRAGON?”

Canglong screamed again as it let loose a blast of chilly air. Freezing many soldiers in their place. A roar from the villagers rang out as the tides turned. Pitchforks, scythes, spears, and axes were raised as they gained a second wind.

The battle soon taking them to the city itself. Over taking the manor till a battle between Yang Wan, two hobgoblins, a three men faced the Lord’s Legion ft Canglong. In the end though. They were victorious and with the tyrant tied up. The Ki-Rin spoke again.

“Canglong, family must hold each other responsible. Meet your father and decide his fate.” The revelation confused Canglong. For a while he was quiet. However he knew he could not harm his father. Turning towards the legion he asked them.

“Take my father to the lord, Imprison him so he may began to atone for his crimes.” The legion invited Canglong to officially join them in the capital but he refused, arms crossed.

“It seems my trial has not yet ended, He is the man who fathered me and I must as it is my duty, to help in atoning his crimes. I think I might travel the world and see what I can learn and who I can help.”

Though the legion protested, they reluctantly agreed. Offering him a position should he ever want to return. Given a token of the legion the team and Canglong parted ways. Both leaving the valley but going on separate roads.

Level: 2

General Powers/Abilities/Unusual Traits Description: 

Redbean is master martial artist who has full control on the inner magic within his body called ki, which allows him to utilize it in many different ways including powering himself up, going invisable, and even disregarding old age. 

His elven bloodline also has trace amounts of druidism. An attunement with nature that allows him to communicate with the trees. His elven blood also allows him to be immune to magical sleep and the ability to see in the dark.

Specific Powers/Abilities/Traits of Note :

Right here

Extra: “I once karate chopped a dragon down.”