#I don’t regret buying it cause I can put it on my doll shelf and have it as part of my collection

[worm-in-a-trenchcoat]

My MH comic came in and I just finished reading it!

I was definitely expecting an actual mini comic and not just a sneak peak of the one coming up…

But I did like it!

It was definitely free comic book day material and not really worth the 9 dollars I spent but I liked it a lot and I loved the little hints for the upcoming comics!

The little bios are so cute and I loved the little diary entries!

And the art?? Omg I love the art style so much! 😭

[wolfpawn]

Life is a Game of Risks, Chapter 32

Chapter Summary - Alexianna is continuing to ready for the changing house, but she finds herself dealing with questions from Lily and small glimpses of the past, both good and bad.

TRIGGERS - Past domestic abuse, Past emotional abuse, Past sexual abuse.

Previous Chapter

Tags: @damalseer​ @hiddlesbitch1​ @winterisakiller​ @theoneanna​

Request if you wish to be tagged

Tom and Alexianna worked tediously on getting the apartment ready. Some of the more expensive furniture was put into storage, Alexianna felt as though having it there was too risky with a young child, the rest was all purchased as required, including a lovely bed for Lily that Tom was in trouble for buying behind Alexianna’s back. It was a raised bed with a little area underneath to store toys and clothes. Tom revealed it was not his idea, per se. Sarah and Yakov had bought one for Sophie since they were on sale and his sisters and mother insisting on getting it for her as a treat. Alexianna was annoyed, not wanting people to think she expected handouts, but as it was opened and Tom had Yakov assist him in constructing it, she could not send it back.

It was not easy keeping secrets from Lily, the child seemed to know there was something amiss as her mother bagged their possessions bit by bit. She seemed to be silently observing her mother as Alexianna went and placed ten recycling bags outside the wall for the council to collect in the morning, commenting to herself just how much clutter was in their home.

‘Mommy?’

‘Yes, Love?’

‘What are you doing?’

‘Tidying.’

‘But you are tidying silly things.’

Alexianna laughed slightly. ‘You’re not wrong there.’ She agreed. ‘I am getting everything we don’t need out of the house.’

‘Why?’

‘Because there is so much.’

Lily looked around her, analysing her little world. ‘But I like our things.’

‘I know, Love, but you cannot hold onto everything forever, that’s not healthy. We need to sort out our home.’

‘Am I getting a brother?’

Alexianna rolled her eyes. ‘No, Lily, you are not getting a sibling.’ Alexianna grabbed her daughter and blew raspberries against her cheek, causing her to erupt in giggles before she starting tickling her. ‘Why are you so desperate to get a sibling?’ She questioned. ‘You’d have to share me if you had a brother or sister.’

‘I want us to be a family.’

‘We are a family, you and me, then there is Uncle Daniel, he is part of our bigger family.’

‘And Tom.’

Alexianna inhaled and smiled slightly, ‘Yes, he is out on another aspect of our family.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘Well, you know how you and I are related, don’t you. I am your mommy, I had you in my belly and you are my little princess, right?’ Lily nodded. ‘Then Uncle Daniel is my brother, your uncle, so he is related to us too, and he is part of our extended family. Then you have Tom, he is not related to us, but we choose, him and us, to make each other part of a family where you are not related but you want to be with. It is very special when we do that, same as with friends, when we become very close to people that we see them as our family.’

‘Like you and Nana and Aunty Emma?’

Alexianna was forced not to correct her daughter for it, knowing she would lose the conversation and its lessons if she did. ‘Yes, actually. Emma is not my sister, but I see her as being as close as one, same with Diana.’

‘Can I call Sophie my cousin?’

‘Sure, go nuts.’ Alexianna grumbled as she realised she was failing once more to get Lily to not be overwhelming on the Hiddlestons.

‘Mommy?’

‘Yes, Love?’ Alexianna was fearful as to what her daughter would ask next.

‘Where is my Elsa doll?’

Alexianna would have preferred another family question. ‘I am not sure. I think I saw it a few days ago, why?’

‘I want it.’

She pursed her lips, thinking of the doll, who was indeed safe and sound, on the cute little bedside shelf Tom had placed in her daughters' room, in the other apartment. ‘Well, I will get it for you soon, but I am trying to get things sorted here Lil’s, we need to get everything sorted.’

‘Why?’

‘This place is just too full.’

‘But everything is going missing?’

Alexianna could only laugh. It was true, half the things they needed to be moved had been brought to the other place. ‘It’s where it needs to be.’ She stated before yawning.

‘Why are you yawning all the time?’

‘Cause I’m tired Lil’s.’

‘You should go to bed earlier.’

‘Oh, I wish, trust me. Soon I will. I have a lot of homework at the moment.’ She smiled as she thought of everything she had done since getting the keys. Part of her was terrified, but as she looked at the fridge and the note she put up to bring Lily for her next doctor’s appointment, she knew she had to keep going. ‘Electronics off, bed in an hour.’ She ordered as she readied a snack for her daughter. Lily turned off her mother’s phone and ate her food as instructed.

After a story, goodnights and hugs, Alexianna went and cleaned up before working more in the living area. She rubbed her dust covered hand across her face before cursing herself and then got back to work. With digging out all their belongings that had been stuffed in every small corner of the small area, she realised just how much dust got stuck into things as time went by since they had been placed in them. She got sidetracked by a box, one that startled her. She had forgotten she even had it. She opened it and looked inside sadly.

Tom smiled to himself as he half skipped up the steps to the house, he had delivered what he had bought Lily and a little present for Alexianna while he was at it, to the new house and was now going to check on her to see how she was getting on with packing and see if he could take anything to the apartment or get rid of some stuff for her. Looking at the sheer number of bags ready for collection, it was clear she had not been idle since he saw her the day before. He took out the key she had given him since he was getting things from the flat to help get everything moved while she was working and knocked on the door once before letting himself in. The place, he realised, had dust in the air, signifying Alexianna was cleaning but when he looked for her, he realised she was on the floor looking at the contents of a box. ‘Lexi?’

‘You had the most ridiculously curly hair.’ She giggled, holding up a photo.

Tom frowned and walked around the couch and sat beside her, before looking at the photo and groaning loudly. ‘Oh, God.’

She laughed beside him. ‘Remember this day?’ She held out another one.

‘Why? Why did you have to remind me?’ Tom chuckled in embarrassment as he recalled the situation of how the photo came to be. ‘That….’

‘You were all sad because you dumped that Rosie girl.’

‘I didn’t dump her, she dumped me.’ He confessed, sitting down beside her. ‘I lied and said that I dumped her because I knew the guys would get on my back that I never dumped a girl, I was always the one dumped.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry.’ She rubbed his leg slightly.

Tom looked at her and put an arm her and smiled, looking at the photo again. ‘But you….you did this.’ He held up the photo. ‘To try and make me feel better.’

‘It didn’t work.’

‘Yes, it did, look at the smile on my face. You always have been there, for Emma and for me.’ Tom looked at himself in the picture again. ‘Why did I never really see it?’

‘Probably because we were younger and with a six-year age difference, it was weird then?’ Alexianna pointed out.

‘If I had not gone away that day at the river, if I had stayed with you and Emma, things might have been different.’

‘Or they may not have been.’

‘You would have had us after the accident, he….’

‘I would not have Lily.’ She pointed out. ‘I still feel as though no matter what happened, having Lily was the result and I cannot regret her, Tom. I love her with all my heart.’

‘No, of course. I just wish you hadn’t to go through everything with him.’

Alexianna inhaled deeply. ‘I wish I had thought to contact Emma by other means and who knows what would have happened, but I didn’t and I cannot dwell on that, since I would only get upset. I am happy now, I have Lily, Emma, you, my life is mine again.’ She smiled.

‘I come behind Emma, I’m hurt.’ He smiled.

‘Oh yeah, hoes over bros, sorry.’ She giggled, causing him to chuckle. ‘Lily and I were talking about families today.’ Tom looked at her with interest. ‘She was asking about what makes a family and the degrees of it.’

‘And?’

‘Apparently, Emma is “Aunty Emma” now.’

‘See, it’s official, you’re stuck with us.’

‘I remember when I was pregnant with her.’ She rummaged around in the box and found what she was looking for, she showed it to Tom, who studied it carefully. It was clear she was pregnant in the photo, but she looked nothing like Sarah had, or indeed Ben’s Sophie and Chris’ Elsa had looked, happy and excited and almost glowing when he had spoken with them while they were pregnant, she almost looked like someone screaming at the camera to help her. He never saw such a fake and sad smile. ‘I wished I had Emma, I wanted her to be Godmother.’

‘Who…?’

‘Well, he chose his “lovely” brother to be Godfather and told me the Godmother had to be his wife.’

‘But Daniel….’

‘Well, when “George” was Lily and I never saw them again, I didn’t give her Godparents, I did not bother with any of it.’

‘Why not?’

‘I was a little preoccupied with everything that happened.’ She stated sadly, looking at the photo again. ‘I look terrible.’

‘Actually, I think you look very good, as in the pregnancy seemed to suit you, but you, yourself, you looked so unhappy.’

‘I would have rathered she was the result of some drunken night than to have conceived her as she was.’

‘Hey...shhh. Don’t talk like that. She is here and we all love her as she is.’ Tom gently pulled her to him more. ‘Is there any pictures in there of her?’

‘About fifty.’

‘Show me what else is in there.’

They went through the box, laughing as they found dozens of photos of their teen years, more than once Tom groaned at his auburn curls. One thing he did realise, was bar the picture of Alexianna when she was pregnant and the man who seemed to be sneering more than smiling holding on to her that he could only assume was Jonathan, there was no other photo of him in the box. When they came to the end, there were a few photos that he noticed Alexianna had put to the side, including that one with him. ‘What….?’

‘I want to destroy them.’ She explained as she carefully put the ones she loved back in the box. ‘They are staying here, these memories, they are not coming to my new home.’

‘There’s a few with Marie in them.’

‘I know. They are from times I can remember her being horrible and like with Jonathan, they don’t deserve to be kept. I need to let go of them. I am starting something new and I want them gone.’ She pulled up the photo of herself when she was pregnant again. ‘In five years time, if I show this box to Lily and she sees this photo, she will know I was pregnant, she will know it was her in me and she will know that that is not my happy smile and I do not want her ever thinking that she is the reason I was like that. I don’t want her to know what he looks like, I don’t want her to think anything was her fault, I want her to know that as much as I did not want to be in that situation, I never once regret her.’

Tom gave her a loving smile. ‘That’s a good idea.’

‘I have never felt as tired as I have of late, but do you know what, I don’t think it is because I have been doing so much, though I dare say that has contributed somewhat to the situation. I read that when you get rid of clutter, you cause your mind to become more at ease, but when you get rid of bad clutter, the things that cause you to feel negative thoughts, your mind begins to feel a stress is relieved and you feel exhausted from it, but in a good way. How can I really move on if I hold onto things that force me to live in the past? I didn’t even know I had these, I don’t want to keep them now I know they are here.’

‘We’ll add new ones.’ Tom smiled. ‘I have some great photos of us and Lil’s on my phone, we’ll get them printed and add them.’

‘I think I’ll buy a few picture frames and put them up in the new place. There’s a picture of you, me, Emma, Daniel and Sarah from the time your Mum took us all to the circus…’

‘No.’ Tom shook his head violently, causing Alexianna to look at him worriedly. ‘No, don’t tell me you have a picture of that.’

‘Yes?’

‘No, you cannot let my family know. Add it to the pile.’

‘Why?’

‘My hair.’

‘What about your hair?’

‘I looked like a poodle.’

‘Tom, you know I love you, but this may hurt, you always looked like a poodle, you had poodle hair, live with it.’ She looked at the box again. ‘Look at this one.’ She showed him a picture of him she had when they were all at dinner for Sarah’s birthday. ‘Why is this an issue now?’

‘If people see these….’

‘You do realise your earlier work is you with poodle hair, right?’ She laughed. ‘I am not going posting these online, don’t worry. I am not going to sell your embarrassment.’

‘Thank you.’

‘I don’t need to when I know your mum and sister will make it amusing enough when they see them.’ She giggled again as he growled.

[iluvmyogblog]

Roommates, Routines and Best Friends

A/N: can u guys believe how emotional AIW is..... anyways. i hope u guys enjoy this. i feel like about two more parts until the end ;( oh and remember my crush that liked me back??? yea well he ghosted me lol if theres typos, so sorry. if i forgot to tag u, L M K <3 god, seb is a dream

Summary: (AU) being roommates with the infamous womanizer Bucky Barnes is tough, especially when all he does is bring home different girls every night and complain about you and your choice of men. masterlist.

Words: 3802

Warnings: im so sad but im laughin

Roommates, Routines and Best Friends: Just Call

“I’m just saying, (y/n). Maybe you should talk to Steve again. It’s been two weeks. Maybe the two of you just needed space. It’s not like Steve didn’t care for you. He obviously did. He kept that information from you because he loves you, (y/n),” your best gal pal explained. You sigh softly and swirl the strawberry wine in your glass.

“He hurt me, M,” you say softly. She nods, extending her legs over your lap.

“I know he did. But you hurt him too. You realize that, right?” She did have a point. You did hurt him. It doesn’t seem as excessive to you but maybe it hurt him just as much.

“Maria, you’re right but i don’t think I can talk to him right now. He just.. i don’t know. If I talk to him, I know I’ll just go back and pretend none of this happened.”

Maria sighs and gets off the sofa. You follow her into the kitchen and hand her your glass for a refill. She shrugs and pops open a new bottle of wine. “Well will you please talk to one of them?”

It was your turn to shrug. You didn’t know what to tell either of them. You were sad about Steve. Mad, even. But you didn’t know how you felt about the Bucky situation. It felt like you were just a big burden in both of their lives. And maybe they’d do better without you. Yeah, you missed them but that didn’t mean all was forgiven. So you did what you always do; avoid the conversation.

Who would you even talk to first? If you spoke to Steve first, were you kind of betraying Bucky in a way? You didn’t even apologize to Bucky for being a bitch to him before. Blaming him for everything. Everything that was caused by Steve. You sighed and pushed those thoughts away.

On the other side of town, Bucky was feeling down. He was always feeling down now. It was normal for him. All of his usual morning routines dissipated. He woke up whenever he wanted. He went out with whoever paid him attention. He hated it. Absolutely hated it. Everyone was temporary in his life. The only constant he did have was you and Steve. He missed his friends beyond words. But were they even friends anymore?

“I don’t know man, it’s just crazy. How this all happened. I say just call them and be like, ‘look, guys. Why can’t we be friends? Why can’t we be frie-“

“Scott, seriously,” Bucky interrupts his good friend. Scott snorts and throws his arms up, obviously confused as to why his beautiful singing was cut off.

“I’m just saying, dude. Calm down, pal.” Scott begins to kick out his feet on the coffee table and cross his arms behind his head. “Call up this girl, and text your friend an apology.”

Bucky laughs and claps. “Good one, Lang. You crack me up.” Scott rolls his eyes and throws a pillow at the tall brunette. Bucky quickly catches it and tosses it back onto the sofa. Scott quickly gets up and grabs the home phone. It was your genius idea to get a land line.

“Buck, please? Please please please,” you pleaded as you got down on your knees.

“No. Absolutely not. You come in here, start redecorating my living room. Start recording Grey’s Anatomy on my tv. And you want a phone with an answering machine ‘cause you never had one? I’m sorry, who do you think you are?”

You groan and roll your eyes. “You’re the worst roommate ever. I don’t even know why I try to be friends with you.”

Bucky sighs and watches you place your hands on the sofa cushions, pulling yourself back up to your feet. Your hair was in a side braid and your nails were painted this deep red he kind of liked. You huff out a breath and walk into the kitchen, far away from the man sitting on the sofa. He continues to watch you tip toe, trying to reach for the bag of chips he bought. He groans softly and walks over to you, swiftly taking the bag down from the top shelf. “Okay.”

You snatch the bag out of his hand and knit your eyebrows together, looking up at him. “Okay, what?”

“Okay, we’ll get you your stupid answering machine.”

Your eyes twinkle. “Really? Are you just screwing with me, Barnes?”

He chuckles and shakes his head, “I’m being genuine here, (y/l/n).”

You throw the bag of chips onto the counter and leap into your roommates arms. “You’re the best.”

You caught him off guard. After all, this was y’all’s first “hug”. You had only moved in three weeks ago. It took him a few minutes to hug you back, but he did. And when he did, he really hugged you. His strong arms wrapped around your body perfectly. And you couldn’t think of anyone who gave better hugs. After you guys went to buy the phone, you set up the machine and persuaded Bucky to say a line with you.

“Hello, you’ve reached the household of-,”

“,-shouldn’t it be apartment?”

“Shut up,” you whispered back, “the household of (y/n) and-“

Bucky watches the red light blink, completely forgetting he had to be saying something. You nudge his shoulder. “Hi, I’m Bucky.”

You groan and put your hands over your face. “James,” you sighed. He looks at you confused as hell. “We gotta do it again.”

It was his turn to groan. “This is exactly why I didn’t wanna get-,” he says, his voice fading away as he walks into his room. You quickly catch up to him and drag him back into the living room. After two more hours, you finally had a ...decent message.

“Hey, you’ve reached (y/n) and the most handsome guy- ow, and Bucky. Sorry, we must be sleeping or something. Call- okay bye,” his voice made yours seem extremely chipper and annoying, his voice was so monotone.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked as he watched Scott press random numbers on the phone.

“Honestly, Buckaroo, I have no clue,” he says as he scrolls through contacts. “You guys have a home phone but don’t have your own numbers saved? What kind of- y’all are weird. Why even have a ph-“

“I get it.”

“I’m just saying,” Scott mumbles.

“She’s... she’s under doll. You’re looking for her contact right?”

Scott’s mouth shapes into an ‘o’ form as he slowly leans back into the cushions, looking up at his friend. “I was... just gonna order some Chinese food.. but.. like, if you want me to call her- I will.” Bucky’s cheeks turn a hot red. He huffs out a breath and rolls his eyes, walking into the kitchen.

“Do you want me to call her,” Scott yells.

“No,” Bucky says immediately. Scott sighs and mumbles a ‘yeah, you do’ as he clicks on your contact name. Scott holds in a laugh.

“He seriously put your number as doll. Who calls anyone doll anymore?”

“Lang, what are you saying over there,” Bucky asks from the kitchen.

“Huh? Oh, just asking if you want some oranges.”

“Oranges? Do I want or do I have?”

“What? Oh, nothing. Never mind,” he laughs nervously. He clicks on Doll and hears the beeping noise, then comes the ring. Bucky went back to rummaging through the cabinets for snacks.

“Hello,” Scott hears a sweet voice through the phone.

“Wow. That’s a nice voice,” he says quietly.

“I’m sorry, what was that? Who’s this?”

“Oh, oh right. This is Scott. I’m B- I’ll take orange chicken and some ramen. Hey, you want anything?,” he quickly says as Bucky walks into the living room. Bucky grabs the phone from Scott’s hands and brings it up to his ear.

“I’ll take three egg rolls. Do you guys have those.. um those little crunchy things with cheese in the middle?”

“Umm.. Cream Cheese Rangoon’s,” the voice on the other line asks.

“Yeah! Yeah those. I’ll take three orders of those and go ahead and add some sweet and sour sau-“

“That sounds really good but I’m sorry. I think you have the wrong number.” Bucky knits his eyebrows together and looks back at Scott. A nervous Scott who’s eyes are scanning the room.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“This is (y/n)... and last time I checked, I work at a coffee shop. Not a Chinese restaurant,” you giggle. “But hey, order me some egg rolls too.”

“It’s.. oh.. um yeah. Okay,” Bucky quickly says and hangs up. He sends death glares at Scott.

“Hey, man look. Hear me out. Didn’t it feel nice to hear her voice? She has a really pretty voice. Like I’ve honestly never heard a more prettier voic- woah woah, sit down, Buck,” Scott says as he leaps over the back of the sofa.

“What the hell, man? You called her? I told you not to,” Bucky growls. Scott holds up his hands and let’s out a quick laugh.

“I’m sorry. But did you or did you not like hearing her voice?” Bucky’s face relaxes, his shoulders fall back.

“Not the point,” he mumbled.

“Dude... call her back, man. You won’t regret it. I promise,” Scott says softly. Bucky nods and turns his attention back to the phone thrown on the sofa. He hesitates to pick it up, resulting in his friend jogging over and handing it to him personally. “It’s dialing.”

“Shit. Okay. Alright,” Bucky says nervously as he brings the phone back up to his ear.

“Hello,” you say questionably, a hint of joy in your voice. Bucky’s chest swelled up at the sound and familiarity of your voice.

“Hey,” he says softly. On the other side of the line, you knit your eyebrows and pull the phone away from your ear, placing it on speaker so Maria can hear.

“Hi.” Maria stifles laughter and leans in closer.

“Hi, I’m- I’m sorry about before. My friend told me it was a Chinese restaurant and so I started rambling.”

You laugh, your heart speeding up at the sound of this guys voice. “No problem. Although, you kind of made my friend and me a little hungry. I think you owe us some Chinese food now.”

He laughs, your heart leaps. This laugh. It was so familiar. Like you knew it. You stop laughing and stare at the unsaved phone number. You glance at Maria who looks back at you with a confused look in her eyes. “(Y/n)...”

“James,” you say softly. Maria’s eyes go wide.

“Hey,” he says with the same softness.

“Why are you calling me,” you ask.

“Why are you still talking to me?”

“I can hang up if you wan-“

“(Y/n), please don’t. I just, how are you? How’s Steve?”

You don’t say anything. You just stare at Maria. ‘Talk’ she mouths. You shake your head. She nods, encouraging you to speak. “Um...I- we.. I gotta go.” You quickly hang up and throw your phone at the sofa in front of you. You hold Maria’s glare and shake your head.

Scott stares at Bucky with a smile. “What’s she saying?”

Bucky doesn’t turn around. He lets the phone fall onto the sofa. He shrugs and walks towards the front door. “She hung up. Bye, Scott.”

“Wha- woah man. You don’t gotta kick me out. If you’re sad, we can talk it out.”

“I’m not sad, Lang. I’m tired. Come back later. Or don’t. But if you do, bring some damn Chinese food,” he shoves Scott out the front door and slams it shut, leaving a dumbfounded Scott questioning what he did wrong.

That night, you and Bucky laid awake in bed. Tossing and turning. Not seeming to find a comfortable position. Your mind begins to drift.

It was raining. And for some strange reason, the rain didn’t seem to make you drowsy. It just made you restless. And that stupid exam you had to take at 9 am was teasing you. You groaned and threw a pillow off your bed. You violently stuff your face into a pillow and scream.

You didn’t hear the knock on your door. You didn’t hear the footsteps approaching your bed. But you did feel the hand on your shoulder. You quickly turn around and kick the person away from you, screaming. “Woah, hey. Doll, it’s me. Relax,” the shadow said. You didn’t listen.

“James,” you screamed as you stumbled over to your bedroom door, hoping your roommate would come to your rescue.

“(Y/n), shut up,” the shadow says. You flick the light on and your eyes land on your annoying roommate. You groans and pick up that pillow you threw, throwing it right back at him. He chuckles and catches it, easily. “It’s just me.”

“What the hell, James? You’re so annoying. What are you doing? Get out,” you say as you climb back into your bed.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said, throwing himself on your bed. You roll your eyes and turn your face away from him.

You pull the sheets over your head and shrug. “Me either,” you mumble into your pillow. Buck sighs and looks at you. Your hair was a mess. But that pretty mess Bucky soon grows to like. “Turn off the light,” he hears you say.

Bucky gets up and walks over to your light switch, flicking it off. You feel the spot next to you sink in and a cool breeze of air runs down your back as Bucky pulls the blankets over him. You turn around and scoot closer to him, embracing his warmth. This became normal for you two. Whenever you or Bucky couldn’t sleep, you’d go over to his room or vice versa. It benefited you both.

You could almost feel his arms around your waist and the smell of his hair. It consumed you. He could almost hear your soft snores and feel your soft breath hit his chest. You’d kill to go back to those days. Before you met Steve. Before you fell so hard for Steve. But if Steve was Bucky’s best friend, maybe it was fate that you met Steve. Regardless, you’d meet him either way, right?

There was a knock on your door. “Hey, (y/n). There’s someone at the door for you,” Maria says in a raspy voice.

“What? Who,” you ask as you throw the blanket off of your body, swinging your legs off the bed. Your feet land in your fluffy slippers and you hug your body. It was always so cold in Maria’s house.

She mumbles something but then walks away and disappears into her room. ‘Who the hell could be here for me? I’m so sleepy.’

You sigh and grab a throw from on top of the sofa and wrap it around your body. You tip toe and try to peep through the peephole but you’re way too short to even reach. You groan and unlock the door again, opening it.

Your eyes land on a chest. You heart begins to race as your eyes roam up to his face. You inhale a breath and look into his blue eyes. You open your mouth to say something. And he opens his to say something too.

“Um, you first,” you whisper.

“No, you first,” he whispers back.

His heart was racing so fast. It was leaping out of his chest. God, he missed your face. He missed your face so much. And him standing right here in front of you made you realize just how much you’ve missed his too. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. For everything. For all of this.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“Your parents. Come home, please,” he grabs your hands. His big hands trapped your tiny ones in them. You did miss this. You really did. You sighed and pulled your hands back to you, bring them up to your chest.

“Steve... it’s not that easy,” you said softly. He sighed and ran his hands down his face. “Look, I-”

Your phone starts ringing. You sigh and let Steve in, closing the door behind him. “You gonna get that?”

“No, i’m talking to you,” you say. This was a conversation that needed to be said. The two of you didn’t bother turning on a light. Ironically, there was lightening outside. So the room was a little bit lit. The soft pitter patter of rain on the window filled the silence.

“I’m a dick. I know. You didn’t deserve any of the shit I did to you. If I could take it back, I would. But there’s a part of me that wouldn’t.”

You look at him in confusion, a little bit of anger. “You wouldn’t?”

“No. I would not. You know why? Because I think meeting you was the best day of my life. I don’t know if I would’ve met you if it wasn’t for Sam. And I know you don’t want to hear this, but I’m so glad it didn’t work out with him. I’m fucking selfish. I want you all to myself. And i did anything I could to make sure that happened but I still fucked up. And I am so sorry. I love you. I love yo-”

The house phone began to ring. You sighed and walk over to the phone, quickly pressing the automatic machine. Almost immediately, there was a beep signaling a new message. You roll your eyes and turn your attention back to Steve. He looks at you with those sad eyes of his. “Steve, I don’t know what to sa-”

A knock on the front door interrupts your words. Maria emerges from her room again and opens her front door. “James, hey. What are...”

“I need to talk to (y/n),” he says softly. Maria shakes her head in confusion, her sleeping mask resting on her forehead.

“How did you know she was here,” she asks.

“Maria, come on. Earlier on the phone, I heard you laugh. Then I went to Steve’s and noticed her car wasn’t there. So... can I please talk to her,” he asks again. She sighs and gives him an apologetic look.

“Buck, she’s... Steve’s here.” 

You stopped talking to Steve and glanced down the hallway. You got up and walked over towards the front door, calling out Maria’s name. You see her shut the door, locking it.

“Who was it,” you ask, startling her.

“Jesus, (y/n). It was some person,” she waves off. You heart races. Your body begins to feel jittery. Ignoring your friend, you rush to the front door and unlock it, quickly stepping into the Hall. You look to the right and then left, catching a glimpse of a tall brunette. Your heart does that achy feeling. You rush down the hall and call out the name James. Sighing disappointingly when he turns around, realizing it wasn’t who you thought it was. 

“So if that were James, what would you have done?” A voice says from behind you. You jump up and turn around. Coming face to face with Steve.. again. You shrug. 

“I don’t know, Steve. I don’t know.” He nods and tucks his hands in his pocket. He clenches his jaw and scans your face. He notices the tears at the brim of your eyes. 

“(Y/n)... I thought you were over that.” You scoff and brush past him. Your eyes roam to the end of the hall. You stop in your tracks as you see that pretty face walking towards you. His sad eyes staring into yours. You inhale a shaky breath and slowly walk towards him. You stop, remembering Steve was right behind you. You glance back to Steve who was already sending glares at James. You sigh softly and look back up to James. 

“Hey doll,” he says softly. 

You swallow away your feelings and shake your head. “What are you doing here, James?” 

“I don’t.. I don’t know. I left you a message. I think I said why I was coming... or how I knew.. I don’t know. I just-“ 

“You just can’t seem to stay out of our relationship, can you,” Steve blurts out, walking closer. You feel Steve wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you behind him. Bucky chuckles and shakes his head. 

“Steve, I didn’t come here to argue. I came here to talk to-“ 

“My girlfriend? Yeah. That’s obvious.” 

“I’m not your girlfriend, Steve.” Bucky furrows his eyebrows and looks back up at Steve. Steve looks back down at you, completely forgetting Bucky was right there. 

“(Y/n), can we please just... just talk about this. I said I was sorry. I didn’t mean any of that-“ 

“You still did it, Steve. Look, I’m sorry. But you guys have to leave.” You quickly say as you walk back into Maria’s apartment. You shut the door, lock it and slide yourself down the door. You hear muffled voices, a few steps getting further away. It sounded like one of them stayed behind though. The pair of footsteps outside the door paced back and forth before a small note slipped under your door. It was a colorful sticky note. A light blue one. You sniffle and wait until the steps reside. You grab the sticky note and hold it in your hand, your eyes reading the words. ‘I couldn’t sleep. Funny, it was raining that night too.’

‘That night’ was underlined. Emphasized. The beep on the answering machine kept echoing throughout the living room. “I left you a message,” his voice echoes. You quickly stand up and rush over to the machine. You click the button. “Maria, ignore this if she isn’t there but.. Doll, I miss you. I miss you so damn much. And I can’t stop thinking about you. And there’s no more milk. Can you believe that? I’m a mess without you here. I need- want.. need. I need to talk to you. I went to Steve’s. No one was there. So I’m hoping y’all are at Maria’s. I’ll probably get my ass handed to me,” he chuckles nervously, “but shit, I need to see you. And him too. I miss you guys. And I-“ 

“you have 0 new messages,” the machine says. A stream of hot tears roll down your cheeks. This wasn’t easy. It wasn’t fair. To anyone. Especially the guys. But you still picked up the phone. You still dialed that number. You anticipated what he’d say. Was he mad at you? At himself? Could he forgive you? Would he? Would you forgive him? “Hey,” you say softly through the phone. You hear him let out a breath and inhale one too. “I’m.. I’m sorry,” you say softly. 

“Don’t be,” his raspy voice cooed, “don’t be sorry for anything.”

— — —

OH MY GOSH I REALLY LIKED THIS. Honestly the whole Chinese food part was improvised. It’s 2 am and i am CRAVVVING CHINESE.

tag(s): @coal000 / @goldenstateof / @cherrywinedarling / @justahappylilblog / @faakelanadelrey / @juicyqueenlme / @ourdreamsrealized / @boyzines / @bornfortherainydays /@fightmeandmy100fandoms / @deadpoolgirl23 / @bethanyv10 / @ilovethings-somuch / @spidey-linquentimagines / @lilypalmer1987 / @gravity-9-8 / @vivianbabz / @imeannooffensebabybut / @queendade / @irepeldirt / @petals-overdaisies / @warishaadnan / @sweetmockingbird / @loki7ms / @chickennacho1 / @dakotacheyennee / @starkxpotts / @sighscassidyy / @jellzu / @krockszz / @lowkeysebby /  @chuckennuggets1213 / @wowbarnes /  @eccentric-impulses / @dugan365 / @frackinawesomeninja / @cosmetologynerd / @straight–on-til-morning / @sophiealiice /  @barnes-and-noble-girl / @satans-knitting-club / @grosskyjaja /  @xunicornwhovianx / @evetheplum / @cravingmustardraventt5-bb / @dedicated-fangirl-forever /  @sarahp879 / @fandomlover03bands-and-shietz / @wintersoldierbarnes / @keepyoureyesopenwide / @i-am-moody-yes-i-am / @fandoms-will-collide / @xcyber-queenx / @ly–canthrope / @kimskew / @mala-firebringer / @crazyjam-pot / @emotionlessteenblog / @piensa-bonito / @little-miss-headphones / @loricamebacklunacajun / @bisexualmotherfucker / @iamtrashsry / @vxidnik / @sergeant-james-bbarnes / @prussianengel / @alina-barnes / @mythrealfan / @darthestvaderever / @caitlyn1030 / @elleatrixlestrange/ @wintersoldiercomics / @letmebeyoursforever / @spidersholland / @directionerfae / @sweetlifeofadreamer / @gonnadiereading / @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan​ / @whataloadofmalarkey​ / @iwishiwasnicki / @alittle-crazy​ / @turdblossommm​ / @buckyisloved​ / @language-rxgers​ / @callmedaddys-blog​ / @disneychic8 / @me221187 / @the-divine-femme  / @br3ndo 

[nebulous-frog]

For the Love of Elsa

Summary: Soulmates AU where the first words your soulmate says to you are on your arm. Phil works in a toy store and Dan comes in four days before Christmas when they bump into each other.

This now has a Part Two!

Word Count: 1638

Pairing: Phan

Genre: Fluff, Soulmates AU, lightly Christmas themed

Warnings: a couple swears, Black Friday-ish shopping

Author’s Note: Merry Christmas!

Link to AO3  Fics Masterlist

Chaos. Absolute chaos, everywhere.

Dan had been in the store for all of thirty seconds and already regretted ever entering. It was December 21st and everyone was last-minute shopping, including him. He forgot to get a present for his nephew and, upon realizing this, had scrambled over to the closest toy store to find the one toy that of COURSE his nephew just HAD to have: the Disney Frozen Elsa Play-A-Melody Gown doll. His nephew was completely obsessed with Frozen and wished he could actually be Elsa, which was unbelievably cute, if irritating when Dan had to find this very specific toy four days before Christmas. And it certainly didn’t help that Dan’s soulmate mark had been itchy in the last few days; as everyone knew, an itchy soulmate mark meant you would meet your soulmate soon, and the itchiness was making Dan very anxious.

So there Dan stood, dodging crazy shoppers running around in a last-ditch effort to find the toys their kids so desperately needed, scratching his wrist incessantly, and trying to figure out where on earth to find this toy.

Right, Dan. Just go in there, find the damn toy, and go home to some delicious hot chocolate and cookies because you’ll have earned it by then, he told himself. Taking in a deep breath, Dan charged, making his way to the “girls” section, as apparently it’s socially unacceptable for a boy to like Frozen.

Aisle after aisle was packed solid with people and the shelves were emptying rapidly. Yelling could be heard from all directions and all kinds of people, from the customers demanding to know why a toy wasn’t on the shelves to the poor employees trying to explain that I’m sorry, it’s a very popular toy and we’ve run out over all the other noise. Dan already had a headache, but powered through.

Since he was taller than everyone else, he had a relatively easy time finally spotting the shelf he needed to get to. Of course, it was in the back corner of the store, just Dan’s luck, and he had to wade through the maniacs to get there.

“Excuse me, sorry, I’m sorry, ouch, sorry,” he chanted. He was trying not to push too hard, since everyone else was shoving mercilessly, while also trying to make progress and not elbow anyone in the boob (unfortunately, it had happened before and was extremely unpleasant for everyone involved).

“Ouch! You pervert!”

Shit, not again, Dan thought. “I’m sorry! It was an accident!” he called in the general direction of the voice. “Ow!” Well, it’s good to know I used to have a foot. Is it still there, or will I look down to see the bloody pancaked remains of it?

Finally, Dan made it to the back corner. Triumphant, he reached out to grab the Disney Frozen Elsa Play-A-Melody Gown doll.

And that’s when everything began to happen at once.  

From his right, Dan heard a surprisingly loud and powerful female voice yell “MOVE!” and he promptly felt two startlingly strong hands shove him while he was midstep, causing him to lose his balance.

“Shit!” yelled Dan, windmilling as best he could without hitting anyone.

His windmilling was all for naught, however, as he was shoved again, directly into someone he hadn’t seen approach him from the left. They both lost their balance for good, then, and crashed to the floor.

This is it, I’m going to die, thought Dan. All for the sake of that Disney Frozen Elsa Play-A-Melody Gown doll. What a way to go.

Despite the background noise, Dan managed to hear the low voice of the man he had fallen on top of.

“Oh my god, are you okay?”

Dan felt his wrist burn as he responded but ignored the pain in favor of complete mortification. “I am so, so sorry.”

He felt the man stiffen. “Wh- what did you just say?”

Dan was too busy freaking out about being on the floor in the middle of the Christmas shopping rush in a toy store to pay attention to what he had said. “We need to get up, we’re gonna get trampled, oh my god.” He lifted his head and realized that he was entirely on top of the man. He willed himself not to blush; they really had to get off the floor. Turning his head to either side, Dan saw that most people were giving them a bit of room, so he scrambled to his feet and held out a hand to help the other man up.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“What did you say, a minute ago, though?”

“What?”

“When you fell on me, you said something. What was it?”

Dan noticed the man scratching his wrist and his eyes widened. “Uh- I think I apologized? Cuz I fell on you, and everything. What did you say befo-“

The man wrapped him in a bear hug. “I think you’re my soulmate. I asked if you were okay when we fell.”

Dan gaped before returning the hug and burying his face in the man’s neck. “I’m Dan. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Phil.”

They stood like that for a few more seconds before someone slammed into them, nearly knocking them over again. Dan reluctantly let go of Phil but was grinning wider than he ever had as he took in the appearance of his soulmate. Black hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and almost as tall as him, Dan blurt out, “Well, damn, you’re hot.”

Phil giggled, his tongue sticking out between his teeth, which he tried to cover with his hand (Dan most definitely was not swooning at that, not at all). “You’re not so bad, yourself,” he teased.

Dan blushed dark red again. “Can I see your mark?”

Phil lifted his wrist, showing the words, “I am so, so sorry.”

Dan showed Phil his, as well. “I think the secondary mark is coming in, too, but it’s still faint.” Everyone had the first words their soulmate said to them on their arms, of course, but, when they met, a new mark would appear somehow related to how they first met.

“I wonder what it’ll be,” Phil marveled aloud.

“So do I, but we should probably, like, move somewhere so we don’t get knocked over again.”

“Yeah, that’s a good plan. Did you need something in this corner, though?”

“What? What would I need- OH!” Dan spun around and grabbed the very last Disney Frozen Elsa Play-A-Melody Gown doll off the shelf and clutched it tightly in his arms.

Phil, who Dan now realized was wearing a uniform for the store, took Dan’s hand and began leading him towards the front of the store for checkout.

“I’m signed on to a register in this corner that they usually reserve for members only, but nobody’s ever there because it’s really well hidden,” Phil explained. “I can quickly check you out in peace, this way.”

Dan snorted, then winked. “I’m pretty sure you’ll have the rest of our lives to check me out.”

Phil looked at him, confused for a moment, before what he actually said dawned on him. “Oh my god, I meant, like, take your money for the doll. That was so not what I wanted to say.” Phil was blushing furiously as Dan laughed.

“You are so cute! The universe did well for me.” Dan playfully winked again and Phil groaned.

“I’m just not gonna say anything anymore, I’ll just embarrass myself.”

Dan’s smirk relaxed into a soft smile. “That’s okay, we met because I literally fell on top of you. It looks like we’re in for a lifetime of embarrassing ourselves in front of each other.”

Phil scanned the doll’s barcode and put in his employee discount code. “I guess you have a point. That’ll be £11 for the doll.”

Dan had been pulling out his wallet but stopped and looked up at Phil again. “Only £11? That’s way cheaper than it should be, isn’t it?”

“Well, yeah, but I put in the employee discount. It applies to employees and their soulmates, so welcome to discount toys.”

Dan grinned again. “I’m liking you more with everything you say, Phil. Here,” he pulled out his phone. “Can I have your number?” He was a little nervous to be so abrupt about it, but he also knew that they were soulmates, so Phil would obviously do it.

“Of course!” Phil smiled and put his number in Dan’s phone, then completed the checkout process. “Maybe later you can tell me why you’re here four days before Christmas trying to buy Frozen dolls and falling on top of strangers.”

Dan blushed. “Maybe, indeed. I’d like to point out that it was not my fault I fell on you, I was actually violently pushed, thank you very much.”

“Of course you were, Dan. Of course you were.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “I wish I could stay and talk to you, but I have presents to wrap before I go home for Christmas. I’ll text you.”

“Good. Wish me luck before I return to the wolves,” Phil joked, moving back around from behind the counter.

Dan took a step closer to Phil, leaned in, and slowly kissed him on the cheek, savoring the knowledge that this was his soulmate. “Good luck,” he whispered.

Phil was blushing violently and biting his bottom lip when Dan pulled back. “Thanks.”

“Bye, Phil.”

“Bye, Dan.”

As Dan walked home, he eagerly looked down at his wrist again. Next to the words, “Oh my god, are you okay?” was now a small snowflake, just like from Frozen. Grinning like an idiot and shaking his head, Dan decided his nephew was getting some extra money for Christmas with his gift. After all, if it weren’t for him and his love of Elsa, Dan wouldn’t have met Phil.

Part Two