#I don't IGNORE that fact but DAMN this guy is so fucking autistic and doesn't know it.

[kingmaxstatic]

LETS OUT A LOUD EXHALE.

OKAY COOL SO SOME OF US AGREE STARLINE IS PROBABLY AN UNDIAGNOSED AUTISTIC COOLCOOLCOOL/gen

[aihoshiino]

Damn not only i love your takes on onk and ai but alsoooo the efforts you put. I especially like how your takes are not superficial. Many people tend to forget or ignore that ai had some development disorder and how it effects her as a person. In the end, i love you.

EVERY TIME I GET AN ASK LIKE THIS IN MY INBOX I WANT 2 EXPLODE... YOU GUYS R SO NICE TO MEEEEEE

In fairness to the greater fandom, I do think it's an easy detail to miss if you aren't, like, completely insane like me given that in the main series it only comes up once and very quickly in passing at that. I also think a lot of folks aren't super familiar with autistic or otherwise ND coding in pop culture that doesn't look like... i don't know fucking sheldon from the big bang theory or something LMFAO

That said, it does really baffle me to see people try and argue against it when it's brought up to them or insist it was accidental or that Akasaka didn't mean it like THAT, gosh - which has in fact happened to me lol! The coding on its own I could accept as being accidental but the sheer specificity of Ai's behaviour and the way she processes information combined with at least two characters using a term as specific as 'developmental disorder' is like... I think you have to be pretty willfully ignorant to not accept that there's some degree of authorial intent, there!

I do fully admit I was also one of those people like 'is this... intentional??' at first just because I'm so not used to actually seeing halfway decent handling of ND characters in general let alone in anime, but both Akane and 45510 explicitly say it. Not only that, but when I poked around in Japanese fan spaces to see what they had to say on the topic, I saw a ton of folks basically saying "yeah this reads pretty clearly as a character you're supposed to read as autistic/having adhd". Obvs that's just anecdotal, but it means people in the series' home cultural landscape and language are picking up on this as slam dunk obvious coding, so I feel pretty confident in saying that it's canonical, intentional and thus analyzing Ai and her behaviour through that lens.

[starrbar]

Dude, asp3rgers is literally named after Hans Apserger, a Nazi. Just use Google my guy, you're using Nazi terminology, dickhead.

Imagine blaming someone for the name of their PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS, my guy.

Like, does it occur to you that this is the most far removed you could ever get from "activism".

What made you wake up in the morning and come to me specifically, by the way? Have you been sending this to everyone else in the world who was told by a fucking doctor that they have a mental disorder called Asperger's that has done been a thing probably their whole lives, and telling them THEY are perpetuating bigotry by going on with their damn life and accepting the word they've been given for their condition?

Whaddaya want? Ya want me to frantically scurry to my Carrd to change the label? Would that make me less of a direct contributor to anti-Semitism?

Ehehehehehehe, here I was bitching about anti-kink fuckers when the internet has people like you misfiring their righteous anger so hard that you're mad at random mentally ill people for being oh... so, so ignorant to the catastrophic harm they're causing for not suspecting that the label they were given might be a Nazi term~!

You are the most self-important asshole I have ever seen, and that's saying a lot considering the shit I've witnessed online. I hope you're as miserable a person as this makes you sound, because my god, this is pathetic.

I did look it up btw, for anyone who is curious. It looks like anon is indeed correct about the origins of the name.

I still don't give a single pebble of my oddly blue shit because I am not fucking responsible for any of this.

Yes, my shit is blue right now because I ate some heavily-dyed cake yesterday. Yes, I loved adding that to my response to this person and their worthless take. Enjoy reading about my bowel status before I cast you into obscurity, as your next messages will be ignored unless you have the balls to come off anon about it.

Go fuck yourself. 💖

For everyone else:

Do I need to explain btw that if someone came to me in GOOD FAITH to inform me of the fact that a label I'm using may bring up terrible feelings for people because of its origins, I'd legit listen and go change it?

I probably will change it anyway because I identify more with "autism" (because I get to say "I have awootism" and that's hilarious—also I can just say "I'm autistic", but there doesn't seem to be a grammatical equivalent for Asperger's).

But this is not how you have a fucking conversation.

This is not how you inform innocent people of a dark history behind something they grew up with.

This person is not AT ALL concerned with me becoming a better person or being more sensitive to others or learning a lesson. This person JUST wants to take their own self-hatred out on some rando online, to make me feel guilty for shit I was unaware of, and to make themself feel superior in whatever desperate way they can.

I see right through this garbage because I witness it daily.

My brother and my closest high school friend were both diagnosed with Asperger's YEARS before I ever was. I grew up with this. I grew up proud to be this, because I recognized that it made me different from my peers in a way that would gain me discrimination and bullying, but that I could also have solidarity with the other kids who understood what it was like.

So.

Genuinely.

I will change the name for MYSELF, because of MY new experiences and information from my doctors.

And I will not rush to do so because I have better things to do with my time than sweat and panic over what some little insect thinks about my Carrd. I have a game to work on, a dog to let out, a job to go to, and a husband to cuddle. Oh, and of course, I gotta finish my replay of BotW so I can jump on TotK when my husband is done playing it! Priorities, hello! xP

[texasthegreatdestroyer]

Welp initially I held back for Mack's sake, but not anymore.

@Yooniesim Bitch, leave my name out your mouth if you don't have the fucking balls to unblock me before you tag me, you fucking pussy. Imagine being on such a high horse when you don't allow those you lie about to to respond.

Let's air your dirty laundry, shall we? You fucking had the audacity to put my personal situation in your mouth as a way of showing fake sympathy that you clearly didn't fucking mean as you went on to tell Mack to drop me as a friend. Because yeah, for someone who "sympathizes with my plite" you have a real funny way of showing it by under that same breath telling people to completely isolate me. That's definitely what you should do to someone who's presently experiencing trauma. Nah bitch. You're a manipulative, gaslighting cunt. The fact that you had the audacity to put my situation in your mouth and try and hold a dick measuring contest of suffering is fucking yikes from me my guy. You don't know shit about me, you've literally never talked to me, and you don’t know my situation, so sit the fuck down and shut up. Literally, you don't have to fake caring about my problems, my guy, because quite frankly I don't give a shit about yours, and unlike you, I'm not afraid to tell it to your face. You're a gaslighting, manipulative bitch, and I genuinely feel bad for any friends or family who call you their friend because you're an awful person. Imagine being all Virgina George and shit, and telling someone who respected you, who viewed you as a friend "I don't like this person, therefor you should drop them or I'll drop you." Mack doesn't have to address me because I'm a grown ass adult, capable of making my own decisions and owning my shit. Mack isn't my mommy, she's not responsible for me. "Tex misgendered someone!" Bitch has fucking it/she/he in their bio.

Oh, but I'm misgendering people. Yall are so fucking stupid. Funny how a little bit of research can prove how much of lunatic gyaru is. The only way I could have possibly migendered them is by calling them they/them, and it's a gender neutral term, so I now care even less. "B-BUT TEX WAS ALSO ABLEIST!" By doing what? Shouting "REEEEEEEEEE!"? I said that before I even knew they were autistic. Why? Because it's also used to mock people who are triggered, as I clarified in several posts that I thought was the case. I'm also Nurodivergant myself, so like. Fuck you. Even if It was somehow ableist, which it isn't. I don't have to answer to you as to what ways I choose to fucking speak. Maybe stay in your own lane. The only other thing I can think of is me calling them a lunatic, and I mean they are. They literally think myself and Mack are the same person, and they've been bitching about me when literally anytime I've fucked with them was because they'll cry and whine about me for a fuckin week after I stop interacting with them, so I'll jab back because it's fuckin funny. Sorry yall don't have a sense of fucking humor. Maybe get one.

Speaking of~ can we just point out the fact that Yoonie couldn't be arsed to do basic fucking research or reach out to anyone in this situation? Like fucking hell. You're quick to point out the shit I do, and take anything Gyaru says seriously, but you'll ignore their unhinged tirades, spewing tin foil hat conspiracy theories about how myself and Mack are the same person, something you know damn well isn't true, something I made a post about disproving and one I've known you've seen because you commented on the fact when talking with Mack about my personal shit, you dumb fucking broad. You also believed claims of ableism from a fucking lunatic who tried to bait me into calling them an r-word and FAILED, so they had to look for something else to get me at, and like the gullible little moron you are, you bought it hook line and sinker! Won't lie! That's some funny shit! Guys, I literally made a post about how gullible the fucking Sims 4 anti paywall community was, and Yoonie is a prime example of who that post was directed at. Because yall don't do basic fucking research. You just go with it to boost your fucking egos. Literally Yoonie, if you gave a shit about half the shit you claim to give a shit about (racism, transphobia, ableism, etc.) You'd actually take the time to fact check yourself and not direct people to false allegations that makes it to where shit like that doesn't get taken seriously when it actually does happen. Call it what it really is. You don't give a shit about those who are oppressed. It's literally just an ego boost for you. I can see now why you defended Saurine's stupidity. Because you're just as guilty of it. Literally, all you needed to do was fucking message me about it and I would have had a civil conversation with you and explained the situation, but no. Instead, you didn't bother to fact check any of the stupid shit you said and then you went to bitch to Mack because I indirectly hurt your fee fees. Fucking go cry about it you baby back bitch. I've literally never seen someone so fucking spineless.

The rest of her tirade is about the Trump vote thing, and I literally couldn't care any less than I do now. It's old shit that was addressed months ago by Mack, and it's sure as hell not my problem. Plus I really don't give a shit about the political opinions of the people who voted for the man who is currently destroying our economy worse than it has been in a long fucking time. No one's better than everyone else. Yall are just as much bigoted, spineless losers with skeletons in the closet that you claim me to be. The question is who's going to be the next big sensational bigot to bitch about. It could be you next, and I honestly have to sit and laugh, because that's the shit there that is the reason why the exclusive creators will continue to use yall as fucking door matts. Yall have no priorities and literally bitch about stupid shit just to bitch.

Oh, and before anyone wants to cry to Mack about how Im a big ol meanie and she needs to disavow me. She already has. I'm blocked and she disavowed me privately. As to rather or not she decides to do it publicly is her choice, and I wouldn't have it any other way, because I'm sick and tired of having to walk on egg shells because of it back firing on her because yall seem to think people can't take responsibility for their own shit, so everyone else has to do it for them. Like fuck off with that nonsense. I'm not gonna sugar coat shit to please yall. You either like what I have to say or you don't. Unlike half this community, I don’t give a shit about my reputation. It's more stress than one realistically needs. I like speaking my mind and that's pretty much it. Don't like it, then bitch about it, or block and move on. Yoonie can go fuck themself. They want to cry and bitch about how I hurt their feefees, they can have fun with that. Considering they're an awful person, It low key gives me life. Anyways. I'm done. Originally I was going to write a doc about this and then leave the community, but nah. Fuck it. By the end of this, I'm going to be known as the community shit stirrer, and I live for it! Anyways! That offer for the Beverly Hills Mansion still stands. Sksksksksksksksk.

-Texasthegreatdestroyer mother fuckin signing off!

Oh, and P.S. If Yoonie tries to claim she never had me blocked, well uh. I'm not dumb unlike her. I grab screenshots of shit automatically. It's been this way for awhile now, as I've tried to respond to posts from mutuals only to find that that I can't because they're a reblog of hers, so I have to find the source. Also it duped screenshots in the post. Oh well.

[mic-and-cheese]

Ok this is enough. I'm done being vauge and quiet. I have been hurting and in fear for so long and it's not ok that I've been made to believe that I shouldn't talk about it.

I've ignored nasty anons to pretend like it doesn't bother me because I knew that people from the fandom were watching my blog for a response. I was scared to show any sign of weakness because I wanted them to give up and for a while I was happy because nothing happened.

Then I learned that they have been lurking on my blog for who knows how long despite multiple warnings and posts and dnis saying I didn't want them here.

And that's honestly my final straw. I'm a person who wants to forgive no matter what awful things someone has done to me. I still have it in my heart to say I'm sorry to a disgusting person for something they did to me 3 years ago, and I don't even want to associate with them because they turned out to be a fucking p*do (which, in case anyone was worried, my particular conflict with them is unrelated to that) but my point is that even when I hate someone's guts I still can't hate them enough to not want to reconcile. I don't know why that is but the same is true here.

I was so, so willing to put this all behind me, to apologize and accept an apology and finally be fucking friends again even after I already tried and failed to do it once. But after learning that they can't even respect the fact that I'm gone and want nothing to do with them, I've become so conflicted again. I hate them and I'm not afraid to say it. I hate them and it takes me every ounce of self control I have not to call them out by name. I'm done giving them chances. And yet I still feel the need to forgive and now it's not useful for keeping myself calm in pursuit of someday ending the conflict. Now it's just fucking annoying because they've gone past what I can forgive. I don't care about being the bigger person anymore, they hurt me and they need to fucking know it.

I'm sorry I ever believed anything they said or looked down upon certain characters and ships because I thought they were right at the time.

And if any of you assholes are listening right now, you're sick fucking creeps for lurking on this blog despite me telling you not to. How dare you use my space that you were never allowed in to laugh at me. How dare you pretend like you never talked behind my back and made fun of my art.

You act exactly like middle school bullies and I want everyone to know everything you've done to everyone in the Incredibles fandom and how you transformed it into a toxic cesspool and THEN have the audacity to ask why there's so much drama like you're the victims.

You have hurt so many people and made them scared to leave your toxic clique. I want everyone to know how you've harassed creators with anon hate. You guys breathe exclusionist like it's nothing, and then want to pretend that you respected the fact that I'm asexual. You claim to support autistic people, but you talk behind people's backs if they talk "weird" or have a special interest you don't like when so many of you are also autistic or otherwise neurodivergent and know what it feels like to be hated for it. You're progressive up until it comes to someone you don't agree with. You cast out your own friends if they don't agree with you and talk behind their backs when they leave or get kicked out, and then lie about why you kicked them. You have at least three different channels for stalking, harassing, and talking shit. You hate anyone who dares to be in more than just your server. You are trying to isolate people so that you have them under your control and don't feel like they can leave or have anyone to turn to when they realize how toxic you are. And that's only what you've done before I left.

Update: Listen I'm too tired to be eloquent about this but in case anyone wants to say I'm lying:

Anyway, here's what I'm proposing. Stop checking my blog for a month. From now until the end of september, and in turn I'll stop talking about y'all. I will not make another single post about you until October and if I don't get a single check, I will not mention you again so long as you stay off this blog.

I was never mad that we didn't have the same character preference. Annoyed, sure, but it wasn't a big deal. It became a big deal when I realized I didn't feel comfortable around all of the salt in the fandom and realized that I was mearly being tolerated. I don't even support some of the people you've harrassed, but I do not want to be associated with people like you, so I left, and frankly, its my damn right to be able to talk about how I felt. I never published a single name, and I will never, but it's not right of you guys expect me not to talk about how I felt regardless of if your actions were intentional or not. I do not care that I was not your worst target and I never have or will claim to be. But the environment that you have created is toxic, and talking about my experiences with it was never supposed to be a personal attack on you until you got involved.

Also, because I wrote this while I was angry, I will fully admit that I exaggerated some of my claims and they have been changed accordingly. I apologize for my immaturity and should not have said that, however I will not change anything I know to be true.

Another edit: I have deleted the portion about a particular artist and their work. That was an oversight by me as I did not remember that they are suspected of being legitimately predatory and I would not have included that if I had remembered it at the time of writing. That being said, my stance on the issue is that the type of harrassment that took place against that artist isn't right and that it is better to deplatform predatory people by warning others about them and refusing to interact with them, rather than giving the any sort of attention, negative, positive, or otherwise. I do not support that artist, but I also do not support their harassment and anyone saying otherwise is spreading lies about me.

[maneaterwithtail]

Why I do not think I will ever be a friend to pearl-stans

Crossposted from spacebattles

Think of this as a companion or follow up to my reaction to the Lea C video

I suppose if there is a main character that I dislike in Steven Universe it's Pearl. In no small part there's her fans because chances are there were 'pressed or budding lesbians who view any attack on her as an attack on the entire concept of their identity. The fact that she's painstakingly tied into said Rebel lesbian identity while often referencing revolutionary girl utena which in my opinion did a much better job handling that as an identity / phenomena

But I don't have any real rational reasons. There's this one moment in this one episode that permanently pissed me off about ttheshow, months later it was still pissing me off. Okay this isn't the first time this had happened with the sshow. at one point you would receive extra canonical material or the charafters be characterized one way and then when it was necessary for the plot characterized another way. A popular one is when Pearl said she can't stand eating so that that way she doesn't become present at a parent get together which causes some really annoying hijinks. But that's just one episode. no, what really collapsed my suspension of disbelief for her as a character and required me to desperately not think she was a real character but just a series of events that did whatever the episode wanted her to?

"What is a sch-ool?"

To be clear this is an alien being who comes from another planet where they have temples. They understand the purpose of Arenas in which to fight for displaying to martial prowess. And she has a 14 year old human son. She's been on Earth for thousands of years. Also she doesn't just know how to operate a motor vehicle and repair one she talks explicitly about traffic laws these cannot be any older than 200 plus years. Despite all of this she does not know what a school is a human practice that has been practiced for thousands of years

That moment, right there, completely destroyed all credibility as a character. She'll have emotional moments that she evokes very well. Because they give her some pretty solid writing and her actress does a damn fine job. But that does not matter because they've basically toled me in certain terms that she is made of stupid. Whenever they want to make her alien they will make her inexplicably alien and Incredibly dumb to make a plot go forward. Whenever they want to make her too traumatized they will make her too traumatized to justify some bullshit. It's everything I Hate About Mary Sue writing ( even though she is most certainly not a Mary Sue.) Arbitrary in order to evoke audience sympathy rather than earn it and ignore consistency with either setting or character. I don't even hate her that much it's just when they say care about her that I can't do it. I'm always at an enormous divide whenever they try to center on the character.

again this would be okay if she weren't front-and-center on several plots. And hating her basically didn't come with an immediate Repulsor field of saying anything bad or evil or mean about her basically brings out every lesbian, girl who's not like other girls, animation aspirant, or Shoujo Manga fan who's had to deal with any harassment at any point in their lives and assumes that you're part of another chain of evil man figures. Cuz seriously Pearl is really really bothersome. And it gets more so when it feels like her bother some parts get put aside to make her more sympathetic or to make sympathetic allusions. 

The big one for me was when they implied she was going to date a human woman. Despite the fact almost every other word out of her mouth about humans is utter contempt and disgust along with the aapprehensive fact she knows so little about their culture she can't pick up on 2000 year plus old practices. This would imply a level of bigotry that I honestly appreciate the entire fandom accepting in dis course

But much like a popular web novel series apparently her victimhood due to status and how she's crafted in terms of appealing identity matters more than the actual actions and character she displays. This is made even worse due to recent Revelations where I'm supposed to care even more

What's weird about it is that Pearl is in my opinion an incredibly well-written bigoted character. But she's not appreciated as such she's appreciated as basically a Justified bitch. And if any male character dares to show a similar level of fault unless yyou are stanning or shipping them they will be hated the fuck out oof or just dismissed. As far as I'm concerned Uncle Andy is Pearl with Aviation as opposed to space flight and spear use. He's effectively the straight older guy version of pearl. But no one will see that because all they can see is 

oh she's autistic just like me 

she's post-traumatic stress disorder just like me 

oh she's a lesbian or atypical about feminism in some sort of way just like me. 

And this got very explicit with one Tumblr poster who out and out said this then privately contacted me when I reblogged that moment to have me delete it and then close down her entire blog. This gets particularly bad due to the greater critical Steven Universe sentiment. Which honestly I want to enjoy but I can't help but feel that they're more pissed off that the lesbian Revolution was not what was being televised and not frustration with various storytelling beats because almost all the common storytelling criticism get apologized for by every fan and blamed on Cartoon Network

There is a fractal wrongness with the "what is a school" line coming from Pearl. To be fair it actually comes from Steven but she's basically repeats it a scene later and reveals her ignorance. Ignoring the fact that it's unrealistic for her to be ignorant or to not have looked it up in a fucking dictionary. There's the fact that that's "what is this thing you humans called love and or kissing?" level writing.

. Pearl is very deliberately kind of the anti girl written for guys sort of character. She's very much a girl written for girls sort of character. And I don't mean aimed at a female audience. I mean she's like the anti Starfire. this extends to hur character design which is all sharp edges along with the very deliberate I'm a lesbian fuck off codifiers that I keep mentioning. And the way they often and continuously show her as complicated is to do stupid shit like this. Make her have a breakdown and or make her ignorant about a human subject but only in a convenient way for a narrative. And when the consequences come they will be softened considerably because we need to be recognizing that she is a mentally ill lesbian who was oppressed and abused