#I don't feel confident anymore | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

so1vitur-ambu1ando · 9 months

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#lately I have felt invisible #like in conversations I try adding to topics or starting new conversations and I'm not really seen or heard it seems #like barely acknowledged and then people carry on and I feel like I can't carry on a conversation with any one person anymore #I don't feel confident anymore #I haven't for a long time #I feel weak #and I hate it #maybe I should disappear for a while #personal

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royalarchivist · 2 months

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[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

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Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

#Pactw #QSMP #Pac #March 18 2024 #As much as I love keeping people updated about Pac / the other Portuguese-speaking creators #I think I might not make as many transcribed posts for their clips anymore #I just don't think I'm qualified enough to be transcribing things for a language I don't know #like yeah we have the Qlobal Translator and Aypierre's translators to rely on #And I'm always upfront when I'm not 100% sure about a translation #but I've been thinking about it a lot and it kinda makes me feel a bit icky. Idk.#I might be overthinking this but I just I don't want to spread around translations I'm not super confident about #esp. since I know a lot of people cite my clips in analysis posts or link them to other people as resources #and 90% of the time I'm like ''Hell yeah I love seeing people getting a lot of use out of the archive''#but sometimes I get a bit anxious like ''Did I do a good enough job translating this''#''Am I ruining someone's entire perception of a conversation or character because I left one word out or mistranslated something?''#And like I said that's normally not a HUGE concern since if I'm not certain about a translation I just won't post a clip. but you know #idk it might just be the anxiety talking but I really really don't want to spread bad info #Happy to hear other folks' perspective #I'm really grateful for people like Bell and Pix and others who translate clips and I always try to reblog those #but we don't have a ton of people posting clips & translating things on Tumblr since we're so English-centric #which is part of the reason WHY I like sharing clips of the non-English-speaking CCs #but at the same time I want to do an accurate job representing what they're saying #Maybe I'll just start posting things and give a TLDR context of what they're talking about but not a transcript #that way native-speakers can hop in and add translations if that's something they're comfortable doing #and if not then well. at least I'm not sharing something that isn't super accurate #idk I'm just thinking out loud a bit in the tags #But I'm open to hearing other people's thoughts on the matter #Anyways giant rant aside. q!Pac is NOT doing ok rn

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demonbarberofbeepbeep · 1 month

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morning toddheads

#look he did have fun #he liked it #*walter white voice* he liked it. he was good at it #you know what i do think he loved her a little bit too #final scene is so sad #everything faaaaalllllsss apaaaart #i guess when i say i don't think sweenett is love #i do think they love each other in their ways #but the lie about lucy is so enormous #so central #to have lucy still alive and badly needing help #and have nellie continuously hide that from a man who is GRIEVING HIS WIFE #and trying to avenge her #it bothers me a lot #so i think the betrayal at her lying to him is multifold #it's not just you LIED to me #it's YOU lied to me #i thought you were on my side #all our confidences and tender moments had this lie beneath it #who are you #even #idk. i'm writing my fanfic and im in my feelings #their relatinoship is so complicated #what is love anyway #WHAT IS IS LOVE #baby don't throw me in the oven #in the oven #anymore #text post meme #sweenett

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kimchunsgha · 11 months

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apparently people were saying things about yves' barefaced photos that she posts because she saw some people on twt having discourse about it and now she doesn't feel comfortable posting barefaced pictures anymore................... 😐

#whoever said sht better sleep with one eye open #bc this is literally so awful #the fact that you openly discuss someone's physical apperance like that #to the point they see and don't feel confident about it anymore #is so shtty #i cannot stand sht like this man #tris.txt

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magentagalaxies · 4 months

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#i should've just gatekept scott thompson from my college bc the way my college is treating me right now is bullshit #like i don't even want to do the scott event anymore bc of how they're treating me but i kind of have to #and i know i should be grateful they're even letting me be one of the interviewers but i hate being a student so much #i hate how nobody respects my opinion or input or experience even tho i'm literally the reason scott's even doing this event #(and ESPECIALLY the reason he's willing to do it for free!!)#and it especially stings bc scott has never made me feel like my insights were worth less because i'm a student #like he's always been one of the few people who consistently treat me like we're equals even tho he doesn't have to #and the way my college is treating me. it's like they don't trust me to not be an annoying little kid #like they're just assuming scott doesn't respect me so they don't have to respect me either #i mean on the plus side i'm supposed to have another phone call with scott either today or tomorrow so i can probably explain the situation #like i don't want to make him feel negatively about my college i want him to have a good time #but this treatment is genuinely fucking with my self confidence #and also maybe i can harness scott's power to hear ''don't talk about this thing'' and immediately make the interview all about this thing #(except in this case it would be him treating me like an equal instead of a random student)#and there's a bunch of bullshit currently going on with the class i have right after the event #so even tho originally i was like ''awesome i have the perfect schedule to bring scott to all of my classes!!''#i might just ask scott if he wants to skip class together and hang out. like i never promised that class anything #the only thing i *have* to do is the interview. the class we'd be skipping is already being like #''oh are you sure scott wants to visit the class i don't want to take him away from a better use of his time''#and scott was genuinely excited to see what my classes were like!! even if y'all didn't treat him like a big celebrity!!#but y'know what i'm sure scott does have a better use of his time. and i do too.#i'm gonna do the interview event bc i have to (we're in too deep at this point)#and i might ask scott if he wants to talk to that freshman film class about the buddy cole doc #bc 1. they offered to pay scott for that (they can't legally pay me but that's why i made the joke about money laundering)#2. since it's about the doc it's the one class where i get to be treated like an actual person #but other than that. damn it i was excited to share this part of my life with scott but fuck that this part of my life sucks #i'm gonna have a good time with scott in boston and my college is only going to be as much a part of is as they have to be #because we ARE friends (scott said so!) and i AM a brilliant filmmaker (bruce said so!) and i DO have potential (bellini said so!)#even tho it is hard to internalize those things after how much yesterday fucked me up. but that's ok scott will call again soon

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doesnotloveyou · 2 months

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it's so fun applying to jobs you're both qualified for and experienced in and waiting months for an interview then three days for a phone call then nothing :) it's so fun!

#idk what to do now #there is no other job nearby that is equal #i am not 24 anymore is that it? they want someone younger and dumber?#was i TOO confident?#anyway they already know who they want to hire #i feel like i get interviewed as a novelty #trying not to think about it #but man i have been in a bad headspace for two weeks and this aint helpin #i don't want to spend another year “improving myself” and now i have even less income what the hell #personal

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wayfinderships · 6 months

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I hate S.anji so much (Has literally had S.anji as an f/o for years)

#pan rambles #how long has it been? like nearly 3 years? if not 3 years already??#anyways point is that I hate him-#...okay but my usual bullying of him aside #I could literally talk about him for hours. He's a character so special to me #He's on my mind a lot more than I like to admit #and I don't talk about my ship with him much simply because of how long and complicated it is #(Shout out to my pals that have been subjected to me talking about the complexity and slow burn that is Sanji/Panchi!)#Is actually one of my favorite self ships of mine! I'm so proud of everything I've written for it!#I'm no writter but with those two?? I could write for quite a long time.#I feel like I can't write my f/os most of the time but S.anji is different. I feel like I know him so well that I can write him confidently #I don't even know what my main point was anymore-afjanfksndj #Anyways I hate him!! (...but I like him even more)

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fobnsfwdoodles · 10 months

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When your stitch comes loose I wanna sleep on every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out

#i never really feel a thing im too froze... the permafrost dreaming of spring #hold me tight or don't #thinking of the way pete doesn't touch Patrick anymore #quick question how are y'all ever not crying about Pete #we were lovers first confidants but never friends #were we ever friends?#best friends ex friend til the end better off as lovers #the distance between us sharpens me like a knife #letting people down is my thing baby find yourself a new gig #look idk how to understand every detail in any other way than that they used to experiment but for pete it was real and lasted and for Pat #it didn't #tell me how else to interpret the shit are they okay #i need to know that Pete is okay #mania #pete #Patrick #fall out boy #Patrick stump #Pete wentz #i had this imagery in my head the first time i heard the song so many years ago #i can't believe it's real now

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fellhellion · 10 months

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tbh i don’t even think miguel’s breakdown rant about miles’ existence as “anomaly” spiderman causing the death of 1610 peter is even about peter, or even quite abt miles. it’s about the idea that somehow 1610 peter could’ve shut down the collider if it weren’t for miles, even though miles’ presence didn’t actually affect peter’s death in any way. it’s about the idea that peter could’ve prevented a reality - that is, anomalies getting slingshotted throughout the multiverse - that miguel feels like he’s buckling under the emotional burden of (”And all this time, I have been the only one holding it all together!”). But even that’s not quite it, it’s about the fact that Miguel has been sitting on the resentment of feeling like he’s utterly alone in this burden, when in reality he’s not. When he created a structure designed to help share that burden between people who should understand it the most. But he won’t - can’t - ask for help bearing the emotional burden because it’s not even quite about the anomalies, it’s about Gabriella. But you deserve to suffer for it, you deserve to hurt. You dwell and grieve her and a mistake you won’t forgive youself for over and over again, all while hiding away and refusing to confide in the people who care about you how badly you’re spiraling, all while a part of you resents them for not knowing, even as they couldn’t know.

#this is only one component of what i read in his breakdown personally but its an interesting one. its not blaming miles for gabriella.#miguel never shifts that blame. he bears it wholeheartedly. but what i think he offloads onto miles in that scene is the resentment thats #been building - that he CANT acknowledge because doesnt he deserve that suffering? how else do you atone? - a resentment that he #feels so alone in what he does EVEN AS HE CREATED THE SYSTEM TO SHARE THAT BURDEN WITH EVERYONE ELSE #and they WOULD share it with them. but he won't confide because he's a chronic self isolator. because i don't think miguel can disentangle #himself from the fact that a part of him doesnt want to be in pain anymore #because he believes that pain IS the price he needs to pay for what he did. even though it was an accident.#so he offloads that resentment onto miles. blames him for peter's death because he can't acknowledge that resentment for what it is #because miles' very existence lights a beacon of doubt that every choice he made believing SINCERELY it would protect people may have been #in vain. and youve doomed those you wanted to protect all over again #ANYWAYS. is this anything fkjdshfkjsdhfkjsd #tunes talks spiderverse

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iftitah · 4 months

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i don't know what i want atp

#i just need to divert my thoughts #the haha little girl who liked everything and didn't have a particular hobby is suffering #i know i can learn im you young i feel invincible im waisting my time and energy by not putting efforts #i want to go this professor to guide me but im so scared because people judge you #im so scared im waisting my potential #ive never been this mentally sound #i can't enjoy any media anymore because ive tried it all and it doesn't anchor me anymore #i need something bigger #something grant #practical experience #i want to become so fucking good at what my career that i become people's first choice #worst thing knowing is THAT I KNOW I HAVE THE POTENTIAL #i can do it the odds are always in my favor #and even if they aren't in this way ill turn them because ive gained enough confidence #i just don't know where to put it #and its driving me insane #i don't even want to be on this site anymore #i want to get so fucking busy i don't have time even for myself #i don't want time for anything else other than the two people i love and my chores #i need to go insane for academics #not like top scorer but like

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polkadotpatterson · 7 months

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okeydoke as I have not had much energy for working on stuff lately (but lots of motivation) I'm not gonna do proper NaNo with a wordcount or anything, BUT I am gonna make it a goal to get some amount of work done on a writing project every day (at least until I go away on the 24th). Main priority blaseball projects are, in no particular order:

Fic about the ending

Abner fic

Simon's Quest

secret fic(s) :)

get the Talkers exchange set up

Aside from that, I've been poking at more non-blaseball stuff, which is a good excuse for me to plug my writing blog @cyndakip! All my fics get posted there, so if you're interested in my writing beyond just blaseball (especially if you like pokemon), I recommend following me there, since I don't post non-blaseball fics here.