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so, Far Cry 5 is going to be 6 years old in 2024 and I just want to genuinely say: how the fuck
#over 5 years now#seriously h o w#I feel like it came out year ago at best#and the thirst is still real#just my ramblings don't mind me#it's 5 am in here and I'm getting ready to work okay#far cry 5
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IM SURE YOUVE ALREADY EXPLAINED IT SOMEWHERE but.. may i ask about the story in bitter choco decoration. I like those guys :)
you’d be surprised but i apparently have never talked about these particular ocs’ story in detail on this particular tumblr blog. so i shall do just that…. i tried to summarize but it got kind of long oops, as it always does when i talk about my mentally ill ass ocs
so! as u might already know the guys in the video are rikki and william, and the animatic happens from rikki’s pov. rikki is basically the golden child of the family—smart, well-behaved, always keeping her parents satisfied, etc etc. generally she is put under a lot of pressure a lot of the time. and then her family decides to get an insurance child so to speak—just in case rikki fails in life—but they don’t want to go through the trouble of raising another one, so they decide to adopt.
that’s where william comes in, baby! now he is decidedly Not the golden child. he is the problem child. parents thought they could reform him—well, not much to show for that. but him and rikki surprisingly get along, even though they’re opposites. william actually gets someone who cares about him for once and wants him to be okay, and rikki gets someone who wants her to be more bold, stand up to others and consider what she herself wants instead of people-pleasing. he even gets her to make snide jokes and cut her hair. they’re best friends, it’s nice. for a while.
but, none of it is perfect. you know how rikki always seems to be smiling even though she’s clearly not having a good time? and you know all those red eyes that appear pretty much everytime william’s on screen? rikki has so many layers of masks that william never really feels like he actually knows her. and william, even though he mostly wants rikki to do her own thing, can still kind of be selfish and controlling (because he’s a teenager, and traumatized, and scared of losing his best friend, but it doesn’t change the fact that rikki feels the same pressure from him as she feels from their parents).
so this all culminates when they’re in high school and rikki buries herself in work—she wants to secure a good education and a good job so that she can actually get them both out of this shitty abusive household. for the first time in her whole life, she has a Goal that she personally has chosen. she now has someone to work hard for. but she also ends up spending a lot less time with that someone because of her studying, and it eats at william and eats and eats until—it turns out rikki’s hard work has actually paid off. she’s gotten a scholarship, and she can leave for a good university and she’s finally achieved something that she herself has wanted to do and not anyone else. for both of them. for her brother.
except her brother doesn’t react with support, like usual. he’s not cheering her on now that she’s fulfilled her dream and beyond. he just looks betrayed. because they’re best friends. they promised to be there for each other, to get out of this hellhole house together. how could she leave him behind? how is he supposed to make it without her, who is he going to have on his side? william loves her and wants her to be happy but he doesn’t want her to leave.
so in turn—because rikki is a) an avoidant little bitch who would rather masterfully evade conflict than try to have an opinion and b) doesn’t want her brother to hate her forever and not speak to her ever again—in turn, rikki, as always, as second nature, lies. i mean, it’s her dream, it’s something she’s been working towards for years, but she’ll stay. she’ll leave it behind. it makes perfect logical sense to her—best of both worlds: she doesn’t spend the last summer at home with her brother resenting her, and she still gets to actually go to university. it is basically flawless.
all up until, you know, the day comes where she actually has to move out and go to university. and william inevitably finds out that she lied to him. and they fight. it’s not good. it’s not happy. they end up separating on really bad terms, and not talking for the next 7 years because william runs away from home pretty much soon after rikki leaves (it’s not shown in the animatic but he does go MIA, rikki visits home once on holiday to find that her brother is just Gone, no one knows where he is, her parents couldnt give less of a shit, not great all around!!!) then rikki ends up graduating and looking for an easy first job, just to kind of set her foot in Job World.
unfortunately, it is also the exact same easy, convenient job that her brother ends up picking. hoo, boy. long time no see.
#suffice to say. their current relationship. is. Um. strained to put it lightly#it does not spark joy#they both think the other didn’t care about them and abandoned them#even better than that rikki sort-of-tried-not-to-think-about-it-but-still-sort-of-thought that her brother might’ve been dead for years#so. that’s also fun#they have a really fun relationship and it makes them amazing coworkers#and their other coworkers do not feel like they are children of divorce witnessing another silent fight#when they have to deal with rikki and william#cramswering#amd yes the eyes in the animatic are a symbol of pressure. white ones are just general pressure + from rikki’s family#and the red ones are pressure from william in specific. u can see as the animatic goes on that the red eyes appear more and more#and yes as you can see i hve done it again and created fucked up siblings in the petri dish of my mind. but they came first before the#mentally ill robot siblings. and yes they were very much inspired by the stan twins. the first iteration for will’s and rikki’s backstory#was almost like a gravity falls rewrite. except they were just best friends. Then 2 years ago i was enlightened by holy visions and ever#since then they’ve become the world’s most insane codependent siblings to exist#but do not fret for one day they might talk it out maybe. and by that i mean fight it out and make everything even more awkward#you know how it is
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🫖🐭☁️🍚
#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on#and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the#window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so#they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden#but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad#but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt#like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was#awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered#but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao#bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do#felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice#then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T#it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot#and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen#im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too#i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger#and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together#when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments#& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could#still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them#*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have#and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and#anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))
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oh i can already tell i’m about to have some really unpopular opinions about the edge of sleep tv show
#i remember everyone loving the podcast when it came out#but as someone who was an active fan of audio dramas and podcasts for years at that point the show just. made me frustrated#i realized later after listening to left right game that qcode has this very strange and almost uncanny production behind it#where they get incredibly famous actors to play characters and then bank their marketing on that alone#and the writing is always *almost* good. like sometimes you start to think you might actually be listening to a good show#bc i mean the audio quality and special effects are all stellar#but then the writing and acting is always just a little bit too over-the-top and dramatic for it to feel natural#like the writers don’t know how to portray emotion without visuals so they just make everything Way Too Intense#and each time it feels like they just ask ‘what’s the most insane thing that can happen next?’#’oh ok he’s gonna chop dave’s dick off’#and every time you start to actually like a character they say something misogynistic or just otherwise batshit fucking insane#not to mention that time in left right game where a girl confessed her love to her best friend before LITERALLY DYING FOR HER#only for the best friend in the next scene to be like ‘erm i’m not gay 😐 awkward…’ and she’s NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN#qcode productions are kinda like the fast fashion of fiction podcasts i think#they churn out so many so quickly and they always feel just slightly unnatural or superficial#not to mention when i tried looking into them years ago and it’s impossible to find#literally anything about them. like their minimalist ass website was so insanely insanely vague#and yet clearly they’ve gotta have a fuck ton of money backing them to have this absurd amount of a-list talent on board#(which really i think that is all they care about)#anyways yeah some markiplier fans are gonna get pissed at me for not kissing the ground he walks on. but i was one of you. i AM one of you#and i hate that somebody out there is holding the iron lung movie over us like we’re dogs and if we wanna watch it#we gotta watch this show. which BTW they are giving no details about where to watch it#and seemingly no promotion or marketing material for a show that’s been in production for years coming out in less than 3 weeks#just weird as fuck man. and i don’t even think mark has much to do with it
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#I've read some of you talking about your irls reaching out#Positive and negative thinga#And I'm... In the middle#I haven't hidden my love for 1D since it took over my life 3 years ago#So the people that know me know this about me#Granted they probably know more about Louis but still#One of my closest friends was a bit insensitive at first and I just couldn't reply#She then sort of came through and has been checking in#I don't think she realized how much it mattered to me#Then I told my best friend who's still back home#I also don't think she understood how important they are to me#She hasn't checked in again but she has sooo much shit on her plate that I don't even blame her although it still... A little bit#But I'm also like trying not to think they actually knew how seriously important these bois are to me#Anyway. Another friend... I saw him right after I found so I was still very much in shock and he knows about them and my deep connection#Saw him the next day he hugged me and asked me how I was and this was after the shock wore off and I had cried all night#I almost broke down again... But he hasn't checked in again and I'm a bit sad about it#Someone I met briefly in the summer and got to talking about the bois reached out and asked and I was glad they did#My sister has been checking in which has been very nice#Again... Idk... I don't need them to understand or be all over me asking or anything#It's just... Yeah.#And it just reinforces my gratitude for this space and the friends I've made the past couple of years#I have no idea where I'd be if I didn't have this and you all#But then again... The biggest reason I'm still in this community is the people I've met#So of course I would always have you here#Understanding something that outsiders could never#It's like trying to explain why Louis is so important to me... If you don't feel you won't get it#Rambles ramble#My eyes hurt
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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Stop celebrating so loud, you’ll wake everyone up! (P1 | P2 | P3) (Patreon)
[Panel 1] Hater: *sigh* What a waste of my precious time. [SFX: beep boop!]
[Panel 2] Peepers: ...
[Panel 5] Peepers: YEAAAA
[Panel 6] Hater: QUIET OUT THERE!
[Panel 7] Peepers: Sorry sir! Hater: Hmph!
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Hater's offscreen but he does still talk so lol#Lord Hater#Final part :D Just the victory lap! Almost counts as a bonus - especially since I was running out of space lol#They're all a bit smaller but I still like them fine :)#Such a nothing conversation to Hater while it's everything to Peepers hehe ♪#''I should've joined the Hater Empire forever ago!!" Kicking himself for being fearful when he has such a cool boss haha#Personally I do think that the Hater Empire has killer health and life insurance#The employee benefits aren't Amazing outside of Hater's own whims like the food court but there's gotta be something other than propaganda#Plus y'know - they're an invading force he does kinda need to make sure that they're all fighting-fit lol#Peepers certainly got some of his best years before Wander came around that part of the galaxy tho lol so who knows maybe it's changed a lot#I know I've said it every other time but hhhhh his poses are so fun to draw <3 He just feels so versatile!#A stretchy poseable figure in my mind's eye haha#He can be so placid and so excitable and so frightened and he's just an eyeball with legs! I'm love him <3#Still gotta get into drawing Watchdog irises weird squishy shapes at some point - yet another cool feature of theirs :D
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y'all it's my sweetheart's birthday today 🥹💗
#and she's currently sleeping next to me in my childhood bed in my childhood home in my country that i haven't been in three years#for... reasons#conveniently the same room i was in when we first texted each other a decade ago and#same room we slept in after she spent the money she earned working two jobs as a teenager and travelling for over 24h to come meet me#the same room i came out to my mum in#the same room we fell in love many lifetimes ago#the same room i studied in and cried in and fought with my mum in and hid from my parents in and now it's#sweet memories rewriting all the ugly#trying to make sense of my childhood again and fix the broken cracks and she's here for me though it all#and she's the best person in the whole world and it's a privilege for anyone to be her friend but to feel the depths of her love like i do?#it's like being under the warm sun every single day#except the sun is an insanely gorgeous hilarious selfless and intelligent woman#and she chose me 🥹#whinysteve the resilient woman you are. tumblr would not handle your life story#but they're extremely lucky to have you on here ❤️
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i would like to stop experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions every day please. putting this out into the universe
#had suchhh a good workday. had hot pot with my roommate where we talked about our quarter life crises#and then came home and had a 3 hour screaming match with both of my parents where i said i was cutting them out of my life#it turns out. my dad still does not understand what the word bi means even tho his fucking wife is bi#he was like 'so you marry someone and six months later you see someone else you like and u go marry them instead?'#like genuinely. truly trying to understand#and that shocked me enough to stop crying#do not reblog please#like in hindsight it is SO funny#and that was the point where i was like. wait is this not malice#this is homophobia but i don't think it's malice#anyways we're all Ok now#we've agreed that i'm going to do what i want#and even if they're unhappy they're still gonna have a relationship with me#and they'll figure out how to adjust#my brother periodically came into the room and also screamed at my parents#i feel bad for them a lil bit. like they're not bad people#after he left my mom told me that a week and a half ago#my brother came into her room and told her that when she died he would bury her in a grave instead#of the traditional last rites (cremation rituals etc etc)#if she wouldn't accept me#and my mom said she was on a bunch of meds cause she's sick so she was so out of it it didn't even register what he was going on about#and then today after that convo she was like WAIT A MIN WHAT THE FUCK DID THIS BOY SAY TO ME#funniest 16 year old u could have on your side#truly he kept coming into the room every 5 min and going HEY HAVE YOU BOTH CONSIDERED NOT BEING HOMOPHOBIC. HAVE YOU.#HEY CAN U TELL YOUR DAUGHTER YOU STILL LOVE HER MAYBE??? THINK??? USE YOUR BRAIN???#this is why i would die for this kid#he's the best#he's such an idiot most of the time but when he's not being an idiot he's my favorite person on earth#don't tell him that tho anyone please#he'll hold it against me forever and ever as siblings do
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WHY?, “Sin Imperial" // Car Sear Headrest, “I Can Play the Piano”
#Whywithaquestionmark#Car Seat Headrest#trigger warning for eating disorders I'm sorry I don't know the best way to tag them I never had to before#I was having a conversation earlier about how I have a very specific relationship with fasting#in that for me specifically I feel like it’s just slow-burn starvation#because it gave me an eating disorder#this idea that if I just stop eating then I'll lose weight and if I lose weight I'll be better#that eating was a moral failure on my part because if I just held out a little longer then I'd be beautiful#so when I'd eventually break fast because it had been days and my vision was fading#I'd make myself throw up afterwards because I had failed#that morphed into all the different little toxic relationships I have with food#I still consider myself a monster for eating#I still lie about how much or how often I eat#and after I stopped forcing myself to throw up after every meal all the consequences hit#my hair started falling out my teeth started falling out all the weight I lost came back#and there was this voice in the back of my head that said that if I had kept going none of that would have happened#and that's kind of true because either those delayed consequences wouldn't have hit#Or I would have actually succeeded in starving myself to death#anyway I relapsed after dinner tonight and purged again and the why? song came on shuffle on the drive home#and I thought it was a little ironic haha#and I ate some more when I got home and I'm really struggling with this one right now haha#because I told myself I wouldn't have anything else to eat tonight but I did and now I feel like I have to pay for it#I think people forgot I was bulimic a few years ago or I just thought I told them and didn't#because it seemed like news at the dinner table lmao#I don't talk about it a lot because it's really upsetting to people I care about#But I haven't made myself throw up in a long time so this is kind of scary I think#Or maybe I shouldn't be scared and instead I should just force of will this#back myself into a lose-lose situation where I either hate myself for eating or hate myself for starving/purging#that's the only way my brain knows how to function I guess#whoever wins we lose haha whatever
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ok so.
#my best friend came to visit me for a couple of days and idk it felt like a farewell tour of a band that was good 2 years ago#that’s the best i can explain it#maybe she’s the one who outgrew me but the whole 48 hours felt like we were just reminiscing about our uni years together yadda yadda yadda#we’re in completely different points of our lives – she has a steady job a girlfriend new friends and lives in another country#im here in the same town we studied trying to get my degree trying to get over my fear of commitment#idk it’s just sad#im meant to visit her in may but idk. maybe i’ll either talk it out with her or just let it fizzle out#ok now that i’ve let it out im feeling better#idk we were meant to be best friends forever but now i don’t know if i’m meant for that kind of relationship be it romantic or platonic#rambles
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“but i fear that they already got all the best parts of me” goes so hard
#if only this song came out like 6 years ago lol#i’m also nearing the end of season 2 of my free! rewatch and gosh haru’s conflict hits closer to home than ever#and idk if i’m just getting more emotional lately but makoto and haru’s fight in ep 11 deadass made me tear up#when will i stop relating to teenagers real or fictional lmao#part of me wishes i was still a teenager just because being a teenager would explain my sense of purposelessness in everything i do#like taking things one day at a time with a blurry future on a road leading to nowhere#but others having high expectations from you and being sad seeing you so lost#but you just don’t want to let go of what you have now#you don’t want to box your passions in what other people want from you#and going back to the lyrics of the song#you feel like there’s not much you can offer anymore ‘cause you were a ‘gifted’ kid and now you’re just an ordinary person#whose gone complacent to the disappointment of everyone who wants to see you succeed but you feel you don’t have it in you#so again you’re just floating through life trying to enjoy the blessings each day brings again with no clear goal#anyway idk what i’m writing#at the same time i’m glad i’m not a teenager anymore ‘cause that shit sucked#but being a grown adult sucks ass too#i know there doesn’t need to be any purpose in life but#i feel like things’ll be easier if i did have a dream#guess i need a best friend to take me to another country or something to inspire me or something#in other words i’m about to watch one of my fave free eps where rin and haru go to australia#anyway i’m rambling#michi yaps
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#speaking of mediocre faggotry i think i accidentally outed myself to my bio dad in like. the best case scenario of how he took what i said#in a conversation when i visited over Labor Day and like if so it clearly wasn't a major issue at all the only response was 'I'm amazed at#what uve told me tonight' which could also just as well be shock over being told i despise everything about how my life is unfolding lol#and that facist bullshit does in fact personally impact me and my interests rather than is#something that i can easily just pretend doesn't affect my individualist interests lol#but also the way that specifically came up is inextricably linked w gay bars and what would otherwise be unreclaimed slurs so i honestly#would infinitely prefer i did out myself in that case lol#but anyway IDK where I'm really going w this it just feels weird bc ik my sister did apparently come out a couple years ago and he vented#to me about it being phase probably bc of moral corruption from her mom so like IDK how much waa even actual acceptance#vs not wanting a scene given that and i literally do not know where I'm going w this i just want to post it lol sooooo posT
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really sorry to the few followers I gained from sunnyposting who are now being spammed with dnp content but they're my friends and I missed them AND it's their best era yet :)
#I went back through my phandom tags and it's just so strange... I’ve had this blog for seven years and back then my tastes were so different#but even then I was like wow they've come so far! glow up! new era for dan and phil! and I was saying it four years ago when they came out#and time just keeps going on and on and they keep existing publicly and I keep being invested in their lives and like...#in another five years I'm gonna be like wow we've come so far! best dan and phil era yet! and my posts now will feel a bit foreign to me#it's like an irl relationship in that way - you don't remember every little thing you’ve shared in great detail#and some eras are best forgotten anyway... but we grow and change and learn to self actualize together#maybe eventually they'll be ready to step back from being content creators and focus on more prestigious creative work??#even then we'll still be so emotionally invested 😭 these tags are a whole memoir but this is a unique fandom experience for me#and just a unique emotional experience in general and time has been extra weird lately so I'm just processing a lot. peace and love 🙏#phan#phandom
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i think i've finally come to understand why i'm so bad at communicating with friends 👍 at one point or another i've thought i was in love with every single person i've ever been friends with (for the most part, at least) because i don't expect other people to like me. OBVIOUSLY this is not true but platonic feelings are not dissimilar to romantic ones (baseline they're the same: you want to love and be loved by someone) but i always end up realizing that i'm not in love with them, just that they matter to me very much and i wouldn't know what do to w/o their presence in my life. BUT this brings me to facet number 2 of my awful communication skills: i hate it when things Get Real. i find myself retreating any time it seems like Something Could Change in my day-to-day life due to them being around and "forcing" the change. i run away from talking to one of my only irl friends on almost a daily basis bc i dread the idea of having to do anything she might want me to do. i think, at the end of the day, my problem might just be that i don't want to change... ANYWAYS
#i actually think the funniest example of this comes from the irl guy friend i think i actually DO have romantic feelings for#i never used to have feelings for him but i always kind of nursed the idea of such a thing (as i said i think i could be in love with most#friends before i realize i'm not - but with him specifically i never had a moment where i realized i... wasn't?) also my previously#aforementioned irl friend kind of insinuated he might have feelings for me or we might end up with one another and now every time i think#abt him i think about THAT so.#anyways a few years ago he came by my house and picked me up and we got ice cream and talked for hours bc we have a lot in common#and he actually manages to keep in contact with me despite how hard it is (how hard i make it) to talk to me on a consistent basis lol#like we don't talk a LOT but he's also the one who convinced me to contact my former other irl best friend that i hadn't talked to in 6 yrs#anyways back to what i was talking abt from a few years ago... it was 4 yrs ago at this point but after the ice cream - i got a job#and we talked a lot - he took me and my irl bff out but she had a HUGE fight with her bf and he tracked her down and it was. a disaster#but after that they made up (lucikly she broke up with him not too long after lmao) but me and him were put in the middle of it#and anyways we went to the mall with the annoying couple LMAO but we broke off and it was just... really nice to be with him?#and then we went to walmart and rented a movie and went back to my irl's apartment and i tried to dye his hair in her bathroom LMAO#and it just felt really natural to be close to him and whatnot. we really get along and i really don't dislike him and i'm not NOT into him#but yeah anyways a few days later he messaged me and asked if he could pick me up from work but i told him no because at that point i was.#afraid. because i had a dream that i had kissed hik and he turned into rick sanchez and drowned LMFAOOO IT SOUNDS RETARDED BUT.#like i think the point of the dream was that if i showed him that i had some kind of feelings for him he would change or die or disappear?#i always assume the worst. but yeah the dream literally put me off so bad that i cut contact with him for almost 2 years#because i was afraid of him and i was afraid of my life changing#idk. maybe i should give it a try now. i'm still scared but you never know.#i at least wanna say 'thanks' for him convincing me to message my friend from 6 years ago so 🤷♀️ who knows
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I’ve thought gamera was a kaiju Godzilla fights this whole time and have now just realized from your posts it’s it’s own franchise lol
Gamera was a massive competitor of Godzilla back in the 70’s, apparently they realized kids loved blood and violence and had fights significantly more gruesome than what you would see in Godzilla
And during the 90’s the Gamera trilogy ended up blowing most of the heisei era Godzilla movies out of the water
Gamera’s first movie was a rather blatant attempt at cashing in on Godzilla’s success but it soon found its own identity by leaning into the idea of Gamera as a friend to all children and getting delightfully weird with it
The 90’s Gamera movies were made partially because well Showa Gamera was just made to entertain kids yeah? Not particularly big on themes meaning they could do a lot of interesting things with it.
Godzilla vs Gamera has been a pipe dream of a lot of kaiju fans
#Gamera tapering off a bit is fine like came in the 90’s dropped some of the the best monster movies and had an epilogue a couple years later#I rewatched the heisei Gamera movies 3 years ago…#While recovering from surgery and on heavy pain meds I could not tell you the themes in depth but GOD do I recommend those movies#At the very least the fucking practical effects#Oh god now I remember the first fanfic I ever read#It was about this like#Monster movie thing in which the kaiju were actors and there was this big thing of Gamera feeling guilt over taking his friend’s job#A scandal when it turned out kaiju would hire people in suits to do their scenes
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