#I guess sorry. Just frustrated rn and I guess I'm too nice and should care less.

[shadowkira]

I feel bad for ghosting on a dating app, when I really shouldn't... people do it all the time. I just get weirded out when people go out of their way to state they don't like one of my major interests AND make comments like they're just looking for a threesome.

My wife and I don't always date or hook up together. It states that I am looking. Not both of us, polyamory isn't just for threesomes yall.

Like, they're fun, but we both have to be interested, and she isn't looking right now.

Maybe one day we'll do that again but not today. And I'm once again completely exasperated with apps.

[galaxitix]

Just a vent feel free to ignore(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

Okay whoever said new year, new me is a fudging lair. It's a new year and I'm still suffering from my social anxiety.

Just who's laying in bed, hungry because they were too much of a coward to walk into a crowded kitchen(crowded due to small size, only two people were in it) and get food while my grandparents have their peoples over celebrating New Year's at my grandparents' place.

I left my room like 3 times because I was hungry and I walked back with nothing. It's not that the people who are here are mean or anything, they're all kind. I just got heavy anxiety around them despite the fact this isn't my first time around any of them. (Heck I got anxious around my own family members who I partially grew up with)

On top of that they had the grill going on in the backyard (kitchen leads out to the backyard) and whatever they used to light that grill sicks my stomach to the point I wanna throw up, might have thrown up if i stayed later)

I tried a different approach by going to my grandfather instead but he was in the living room with the rest of the guests who weren't in the kitchen or around the grill and my nerves nearly suffocate me, I ended up just greeting everyone and making small talk(read attempted to make small talk) and then went back to room and stayed there.

So I'm stayed in my room until the guests have left and I think 'ok maybe now I can get food'...ha nope, there was nothing left so I thought okay at least what should have been left aside for my mother was here but guess what?

There's nothing and I thought maybe I was just blind so I asked my grandfather cause he was still out and he just asked me 'what' and he thought I did...

I love my grandpa I really do but he knows full and well, I can't stand the scent of the grill cause of whatever they used to fuel the fire and my room is fully in range where he can tell I hardly left. what do you mean you thought I did it?

Now I'm on the verge of a meltdown/panic attack, I'm hungry and I feel a mess of emotions I can't even decide or identify right now.

Another thing about this whole situation that ticks me off is it doesn't matter if I'm the host or not cause in the end I get nothing out of it. Normally I manage the grill and to think after all the work, i could reap what I sow but nope by the time I'm done grilling everything, the food is already gone so I can't even taste or enjoy what I stand over a grill cooking for the past hour or 2. So yeah, I lost my passion for grilling becus what's the point if I get nothing out of it. (And this happen 4 times, must be a sign or something)

So this grill session, I decide to just sit back and let someone else deal with the grill so maybe finally I can get to enjoy a nice grilled meal...but nope, as said before social anxiety nearly killed me out here.

Like grandpa I can handle your friends/company and theirs kids or niece or whatever in small groups but all at once. Are you trying to give me an early funeral? And this is the first time I have been around all at once before this, the largest group was 8 or so people but 15 maybe more, hell no. (My grandparents house is small, two bedrooms, a bathroom, kitchen and living room all connected by one small hallway, most of the guests were outside, either on the verandah or around the backyard where the grill was, summary: it was packed)

Currently, the house is quiet and I'm about to be petty and occupied the kitchen at this time making no means to be quite, sorry not sorry, I need to let out this frustration and get something to eat

(though, they're probably used to my late night cooking/baking session because it's the only time I feel comfortable cooking/baking)

Honestly can't tell if I'm just being really selfish or justified but I don't care that this point, all that matters is food rn

Peace (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) ✌️

[kunikinnie]

Hello I hope you have a nice day/night! First of all, I wanna say that I love your work so much🤩 You are so talented!!

If the request is still open, may I have scenario one please? Kunikida has been busy lately that his s/o and he didn't meet each other. When he doing his work at the busy agency he received a call from his lover, asked him if he can talk to her/ them a little bit but he was so busy that he cant spend some time with her/them (which one you prefer!), his s/o have a high fever and barely do anything. Kunikida was so frustrated and said something hurt his lover without thinking clear (we both know how scary he is when he is frustrated). The rest is filled with comfort, please!

I really do love your talent and your work that I'm so excited and nervous when I send a request to you! Take care of yourself please!!🥰

a/n: thank you so much anon! i'm sorry this took so long to finish :'DD i hope this is alright tho!

a busy kunikida dealing with a sick gn!reader

Case after case. File after file. Day after day, work keeps just piling up without end. It has been like this for almost two weeks now, and Kunikida has not seen you once since.

He does miss you dearly, but right now the only thing going through his head is the sweet respite in a clean bed and a good night's sleep.

As he scurried across the Agency with a huge stack of paperwork in his arms, his phone began to ring. Hastily he drops the stack on his desk and swiftly flips open his phone. It was you.

There was a rule between the two of you that no one should call the other during work, although this was enforced mainly in terms of you calling him. A harsh sigh escaped his lips. What on earth could it be now?

"Hey, are you free right now?"

"What do you think, y/n?"

The bite to his words left you stunned for a moment. You knew he was definitely busy at work right now, but you couldn't resist trying to ask him for a bit of time anyway.

"S-sorry. I just-"

"Tsk. Can't it wait, y/n? You know I don't have time for this." The exasperation in his voice was all too strong, even he felt himself twitch from it.

He was met with a very soft apology from your side followed by the silence from you hanging up.

Only after putting his phone away did he realize that you sounded different than usual. It was...lower than usual? And the audio sounded a bit scratchy too, unless-

A message notification. His eyes widened when he saw the preview.

I wanted to ask if you can come over and bring some food. High fever rn.

Ah, shit.

---

"Tired" just isn't enough to describe your current state. You were left motionless on your bed, every inch of your body screaming with pain. Moving was painful. Breathing was painful. Living was painful.

You risked calling your boyfriend if only to distract you for a moment - unfortunately, that didn't work.

You didn't even have the energy to cry right there and then. Perhaps it was the hunger from not eating anything yet or the terrible headache you were having. Either way, you were stuck in a limbo between consciousness and unconsciousness, wishing that somehow an angel would just appear and save you from your miseries.

You were convinced that one did appear in front of you right now. He was gently calling out your name, you thought, and oddly enough said angel looked a lot like a familiar blonde.

"Y/N, are you awake?"

Ah, so it wasn't a dream.

All you could manage was a low grunt as the short conversation you had earlier zapped all the strength from your body. You suddenly felt something cool on your forehead, and you guessed that it was Kunikida's hand.

"Wait here."

He came back with a wet towel and a hot bowl of what looked like soup. He helped you sit up slowly, and promptly wiped your forehead with the towel.

The soup he handed to you tasted like water, but you continued to slowly but steadily eat spoonful after spoonful. Only then did you realize how hungry you were.

He proceeded to wipe the other areas of your body as you ate, hoping to at least lower your temperature and make you feel a bit better.

"I'm sorry."

It was so soft and low that you thought you were hallucinating, but the look on his face made you think otherwise. You swallowed the tasteless food and mustered as much energy as you could to speak. "It's okay. I should have called later-"

"You idiot. You should have called earlier. Didn't you even think of what would happen if I came here too late?! Y-you could have-"

He didn't even want to think of the word that came next. It's not an absolutely serious condition (hopefully), so Kunikida knows he's probably just overthinking it - yet he couldn't help but worry.

It physically pained him to see you in such a state. It's the complete opposite to how you were usually, so just the slightest hint of anguish on your face was like a slap to his own.

You sat there on your bed, motionless. Not a single word left your lips, but the look in your eyes was enough for him to understand what you wanted to say.

Please don't be too harsh on yourself.

"Alright, alright. Is there anything else you need?"

"But what about your work...?"

"I brought some with me, so don't worry. Now if you have nothing else to say you should go back to sleep. I'll be right there if you need me."

He was about to stand up to grab said paperwork but your hand tugged on the cuff of his shirt. "...stay here." It was barely above a whisper, but he heard you clearly. He smiled at your plea for affection, and it relieved him more than anything of the anxiety that was plaguing him right now. "Wait here."

Just as quickly as he left did he return with a laptop and some files, placing them gently near the edge of the bed. "I'm all settled now, so go to sleep."

Your left hand weakly cupped the back of his right hand and attempted to intertwine your fingers with his. He chuckled at your gesture, but nonetheless fixed it and properly held your hand. A soft squeeze was all you managed to show your gratitude.

With his free hand, he began to type and finish whatever paper he was working on. His multitasking skills are topnotch (given what he has to deal with on a daily basis) and he is more than proud to be able to utilize them even in this case. It's not that he wants to save time by not totally focusing on either you or his work, but rather he likes feeling your warmth even while he accomplishes his tasks.

The sound of steady tapping was strangely calming - well, it was much preferable to hear than the throbbing of your head. Plus the comfort of his hand in yours was an added layer of security. Before you knew it your grip had slightly loosened and your eyes slowly shut tight.

---

You don't know how long you were out, but by the time your eyes fully opened you were sure it was at some unholy hour in the morning.

You attempted to stretch your body - which wasn't aching as much, thankfully - but you couldn't move your left arm. To your surprise, you found your boyfriend sitting fast asleep beside you, his right hand still intertwined with yours, and his head buried in the crook of his left arm.

You couldn't help but smile. But at the same time, you knew that his current position wasn't comfortable at all indicating just how tired he really must have been. Unwittingly, your free hand began to gently stroke his blonde hair.

"A-ah, Y/N. You need anything?"

You tried to suppress a chuckle at his messy state while you shook your head. "No, I'm fine. I'm feeling much better thanks to you. You should get proper rest yourself, you know."

"Are you sure?" He took a good look at you while attempting to fix himself a bit. You did look much more alive than you did before sleeping, so he let his shoulders relax. "I'll take the couch then. But before that-"

He pointed to the desk beside your bed. There was an empty glass, a pitcher of water and some medicine on top of it. "I've already prepared those for you there, just in case you need it. If you're not going to sleep immediately after this I'll heat some food for you right now. You should eat enough to get better quickly."

His usual demeanor returned to him, you noticed. Somehow it was more reassuring to see him like that rather than the fumbled mess of worry he was earlier.

"Thank you, Kunikida."

Hearing your words brought a soft smile to his sleepy face. He then slowly moved hair away from your face and gently kissed your forehead.

"Anything for you, y/n."

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: [So the vibe is evidently just showing up at the pre-drinks at this gfs house, we'll have to be some level of wasted to have the nerve so from the off it's a mood lol] Amelia: [a select gathering of the gays that you weren't invited too, but it's okay because Amelia can't throw you out when everyone else is like yeah come through] Jac: [literally you'd have to make such a drama and that's not you and also no one knows why you stopped being besties so it clearly appears chill from the outside, I vote the club should be a gay one so you have to commit to that hen] Amelia: [agreed because clearly her gf has planned this because Amelia's plan was to go and get that haircut and outfit with her mum so] Jac: [too pure for this bitch, we all know this is just an excuse for her to party like any other night really, which is rude, do something special but no, at least you're simply that hoe so it's not like we even have to work hard here, the flirting is blatant] Amelia: [it hurts my heart because you know Jamelia would have gone IN for each other's birthdays] Jac: [and her last one was start of transition year so they would've still been friends, AND it was her 16th so it would've been really poppin'] Amelia: [brb sobbing] Jac: [thank god jac is also miserable and only pretending to be living her best life or this would be even ruder] Amelia: [and thank god Amelia isn't in love with this gal] Jac: [and that lmao] Jac: [to me it should be like they just straight up make out on the dance floor 'cos her girlfriend is the 'its not a big deal omg!' type but even if it weren't, it is because it's Jac] Amelia: [hence when Amelia loses it it's Jac she's shouting at and being like how could you do this to me etc not her gf] Jac: [mhmm mHM we all know she's barely speaking at this point so she's not gonna say anything and your gf will be going off 'cos she looks the gobby type so you can slap her if you need babe lol] Amelia: [she so is the gobby type, Amelia just straight up dismissing her because this isn't about you babe I gotta scream at Jac rn thank you] Jac: [meanwhile we're just trying to walk away like the audacity] Amelia: [literally like SAY SOMETHING! because is there anything more frustrating than when someone won't react and you're literally 💔] Jac: [there is not, just shouting 'I'M SORRY' ala Tracy because we do not sound sorry at all but she is never a loud person so everyone else is gonna be shook like damn] Amelia: [your aunt Cass would be proud of that, but Amelia just gonna walk away] Jac: [good lord go home gal, or at least a different club lol, also like to point out she has a September birthday so also would've been after Savannah left so that would've been cheery lol] Amelia: [nice parallel because we know Amelia's walking home but fuck knows how far it would be, we're not at Erin's house now hens] Jac: [I'm sure you don't live right in town, your fam seems a suburb type so that'll be a nice trek, you poor bitch] Amelia: [just sobbing the whole time probably, even though she's not a crier like Savannah is] Jac: [you'd have to have a cry, if Jac hadn't gone catatonic as a defence mechanism, she would be too] Amelia: [which is why we're not getting our parents to pick us up because don't wanna be sobbing to this degree in front of them and her mum already hates the gf so we don't want the I told you so either] Amelia: [plus her mum probably thinks she's over Jac by now because we downplaying things forever] Jac: [parents can only be so much of a MVP at this age] Amelia: [I think when they see each other again it should be another argument that turns into Amelia kissing her because that's a trope for a reason] Jac: [yes, you are both owed it without the audience tbh] Amelia: [like I have no idea where they are when that happens, are you gonna show up on her doorstep to have another argument or what gal lol] Jac: [maybe you had somewhere you went together, idk where or what vibe, so you know she's gonna be there, even if it's just a different club and you're outside angsting] Amelia: [ooh excellent, yeah there's any number of places that could be 'theirs' you've known each other long enough] Jac: [precisely, it can be as everyday and unspecial or the opposite as we'd like, Dublin centre is not that big it's not insane to suggest] Amelia: [when do you think that is, clearly pretty soon after because the emotions have gotta be high] Jac: [yeah, sooner rather than later, like we did this for a reason and like you said, it's too frustrating when someone won't react to you] Amelia: [literally could be the next day/night I'd believe it] Jac: [i literally thought you meant the same night so yes i agree lol] Amelia: [omg that's even better tbh] Jac: like you turn round like AND ANOTHER THING, tensions are beyond that high] Amelia: [exactly] Jac: [at least Amelia is angry enough to break it off 'cos the levels of fucks you don't give rn about anything] Amelia: [yeah she's angry and sad enough to be like ffs what am I doing and actually go home] Jac: [thanks babe, we all know it happens but don't need it to literally look like 2nd choice to your hoe gf 'cos it ain't that] Amelia: [how am I gonna start a convo from here because I clearly am lol] Jac: [thank god you both drunk, I can do it if you want] Amelia: [go ahead if you think you can boo] Jac: you home safe Amelia: no, I'm dead in a ditch Jac: great Amelia: it'll make life easier for you, yeah Jac: my life couldn't be any rosier Amelia: 🥀🥀🥀 Jac: glad to see your flare for the dramatic ain't died in that ditch with you Jac: flair, which one Jac: idk Amelia: you took that over from me, remember Amelia: you really fucking did Jac: aren't you impressed Amelia: if you'd got there earlier you could've pushed me out of the way to blow the candles out on the cake my mum bought too Jac: you don't wanna be kids no more? Jac: could've said sooner Amelia: she's not a doll, she just wants to look like one Jac: who? Amelia: the girlfriend you wanted to share so badly Jac: oh her Jac: bride of chucky maybe Amelia: you did scare everyone with your apology Amelia: very exorcist-ish Jac: I was going for Carrie Jac: oh well Jac: still a better match than you two ain't it Amelia: oh you were trying to win a prom queen sash with acts of charity Amelia: I get it Jac: shouldn't you be throwing all this shade at her Amelia: wait, I'll add her in Jac: ha Jac: go ahead Amelia: she won't accept, sorry Amelia: I did try Jac: devastating Amelia: are you home safe? Jac: yeah Amelia: you do have the 👿👹👺👻 inside protecting you, I guess Jac: its always got a home inside me Amelia: well yeah, you don't ever kiss anyone long enough for it to transfer hosts Jac: you'll wanna get rid of the girlfriend then Jac: before you get infected Amelia: you already did that for me, such a good 🥳🎂🎁 Jac: couldn't think what else to get ya Amelia: 💐? Amelia: no? Jac: thought she might have beat me to it Jac: made a bit of an effort Amelia: she wanted me, that's all I needed Jac: past tense Jac: and that's definitely not the first time she's done that Amelia: what do you care? Jac: you think this is how i'd show it if I did Amelia: I try not to think about you anymore Jac: there's no need to make yourself sound stupid in the process Amelia: not when you're there to make me look it Jac: you'll get another girlfriend Amelia: because that's what is ripping my heart out about this Jac: that's your problem Amelia: stay the fuck away from me Amelia: if you'd done that I wouldn't have a problem Jac: I plan on it Jac: done what I needed to do Amelia: great Jac: enjoy what's left of your big day then Jac: have some 🎂 Amelia: you've made sure I can't Amelia: where's Savannah Moore with a 👏 emoji when you need her? Jac: Sligo Jac: last I heard Amelia: those poor country lads Jac: you've never cared about any lad a day in your life Jac: you can just admit you miss her Amelia: 😂 Jac: hilarious Amelia: not really Amelia: but I physically can't cry any more, I must be dehydrated Jac: unsurprising Jac: me either Amelia: 🍾🥂 Amelia: have a nice life then Amelia: probably leave tonight out of your achievements during the uni interviews Jac: nah Jac: diversity and adversity is all the rage Amelia: that's why I'll be mentioning it Jac: you're welcome x2 Amelia: 🙌 Jac: you sure she don't wanna join Jac: 'cos she's annoying me Amelia: I don't care what she wants or feel sorry for you Jac: yeah Jac: then tell her that Jac: not relaying your message Amelia: I have Jac: she's a liar too, makes sense Amelia: you're well suited Jac: besides the obvious Amelia: that you've done what you needed to do, yeah Amelia: tell her that Jac: I have Jac: not my fault she's so thick she only understands actions Amelia: if she's been messaging you since the 💋 you'll have had time to tell her everything I didn't Amelia: even if it has to be via charades Jac: the fact I didn't fuck her is all the information she's getting from me Amelia: the dancefloor's a bit public even for her Amelia: but maybe she'll be willing to break the rules for you, that's what people do Jac: let's not pretend it was about her Jac: only room for one delusional person in a relationship, don't you know? Amelia: you're ready for that, are you? Amelia: I don't know anything about relationships as it turns out Jac: first cut is the deepest Amelia: if you're going to sing, it's meant to be Happy Birthday Jac: yeah, you wish Amelia: I only got the one and I've already used it Jac: don't tell or it won't come true Amelia: I don't remember it now anyway Jac: bullshit Amelia: if it was 💇🏻 related it definitely didn't come true Jac: you didn't get a fringe Amelia: I still hate it Jac: it's not why you got cheated on Amelia: thanks, that makes me feel loads better about 👧🏻 Amelia: can you just take the posts down please Jac: I dunno Amelia: Jac Jac: fuck sake Jac: one thing Amelia: just do it Jac: then that's it Jac: there's your present, I don't owe you nothing Amelia: no, then that's it because I don't want anything to do with you Amelia: it doesn't make us even Jac: I don't give a shit about being even with you Jac: I win Jac: end of Amelia: it's not a fucking game Jac: you're the only one not playing Amelia: so leave me out of it Jac: that's another favour Jac: pick one Amelia: fuck you Jac: i'm keeping the pictures up then Amelia: enjoy your win Jac: naturally Amelia: 👏👏👏 Jac: you aren't her Amelia: you aren't you Amelia: it still doesn't make us even Jac: maybe you never knew me Jac: we weren't friends, after-all Amelia: there's no maybe about it, if we were ever friends you wouldn't treat me like this Jac: nothing is as simple as you'd like it to be Jac: but sure Amelia: you really hurt me again, it's that simple Amelia: and this time it was deliberate Jac: and you don't hurt the people you love Jac: grow up, Amelia Amelia: not like that Jac: that's easier for you Amelia: what about ANY of this is easy for me? Amelia: you told me to try, I did Amelia: now what? Jac: it isn't my responsibility to worry about that Jac: you figure it out Amelia: I had it figured out and you tore it down Amelia: take some fucking responsibility for that Jac: what, with your shit girlfriend who doesn't give a fuck about you Jac: that was wrecked before I got there Jac: deal with that Amelia: you wrecked me before she got there Amelia: I still think about you all the time, miss you all the time Amelia: and I do have to deal with that, all the time Jac: and I've got nothing to deal with Amelia: of course you do Amelia: happy people don't gatecrash and ruin other people's birthdays Jac: then you'll forgive me for not feeling sorry for you Amelia: I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I want you to be sorry for what you just did Jac: you want a lot Amelia: not this time Amelia: it's bare minimum Jac: I'm happy to disappoint and leave you wanting Amelia: then you win again Amelia: congratulations Jac: yipee Amelia: Don't contact me again unless you're got something to say that means something Jac: fine Amelia: you sound faker than Savannah could ever Amelia: it'd be impressive if it worked Jac: have I contacted you before now? Amelia: that doesn't matter because today you did Jac: today I ruined your relationship and birthday Jac: then I asked if you got home Amelia: yeah, and that all means something Jac: it means I wanted to fuck up your life Amelia: at least that wish came true Jac: there's always shooting stars and eyelashes when there isn't candles Amelia: there isn't a quick fix for this Jac: there's no fix Jac: there's only out and it's still 2 fucking years away Amelia: you were supposed to give me time, that's supposed to be one Jac: well I didn't feel like it today Amelia: clearly Jac: get over it Amelia: I'm not even through it, it literally just happened Jac: I'm not apologising, I can't be any clearer Amelia: then don't Amelia: I didn't know how to beg you when we were friends, I can't do it with this version of you Jac: Done? Amelia: I was done before I actually got home Jac: Well I've not gone home Jac: so we both lied there then Amelia: Where have you gone? Jac: what's it to you? Amelia: I don't want what happened to Is to happen to you, or worse Amelia: I care about you Jac: it won't Amelia: I'm calling your parents Jac: maybe I've told them you're obsessed with me already Amelia: maybe but it's still ringing Amelia: they can decide what they want to do Jac: you're such a snitch Amelia: because I really care what you think of me right now Jac: nah, just hope it makes you feel good about yourself worrying my parents for nothing Amelia: I don't feel good about myself because of you Amelia: your parents are irrelevant to me Jac: we've got that in common then Amelia: they're probably going to want to talk to you and I don't so goodnight Jac: Bold of you to think I'd answer Jac: but it is a reason to turn my phone off so yeah Jac: later Amelia: you're really 😎 we get it Jac: that's what I'm doing Jac: you're so smart Amelia: it's why you want to keep the pics up Amelia: like a 🏆 Jac: i wanna keep em up so you have to see them Amelia: I don't have to see them, I've already blocked you both Jac: 😂 Amelia: What's funny? Jac: 🤡😥 would've been more applicable, perhaps Amelia: probably Jac: you can pal up with Is again, she's up for it Amelia: yeah because I really want to drag her into whatever 🎪 you've started up between us Jac: you're so considerate Amelia: something really fucked up happened to her, you were there, don't act like you don't remember Jac: and you weren't there Amelia: I know that Jac: then you don't get to say shit to me about it Amelia: I'm not, I'm saying this isn't about Is Jac: when is it ever Jac: poor girl Amelia: stop it Jac: you walked out on her Jac: she didn't have enough daddy issues? Amelia: I walked out on you Jac: same difference Amelia: you said you'd let me Jac: and I did Amelia: until now Jac: you're only 17 once Jac: it's not going to happen again Amelia: it shouldn't have happened at all Jac: should woulda coulda Amelia: promise me that this is it Jac: I don't fancy your girlfriend Jac: kissing her was bad enough Amelia: I mean, promise me that I don't have to look over my shoulder for the next 2 years in case you decide that you want to ruin my life again Amelia: because I can't Jac: Amelia Amelia: I'm serious, I'll leave school before I let you do this to me for a third time Jac: I'm not in a position to be making promises about anything, to anyone Jac: I'll try Amelia: okay Jac: just Jac: I don't know Jac: never mind Amelia: you're scaring me, you know Amelia: I should've made you promise not to do any reckless shit back then instead of the other way round Jac: everyone's scared Jac: they say it like I can change it Amelia: I thought I was doing the right thing but everything just keeps getting worse Amelia: for me, you and Is Amelia: even for Savannah, Sligo for fuck's sake Jac: even if you'd done it different Jac: I'd still have done the same Jac: it still would've all happened Amelia: what are you going to do now? Jac: nothing matters now Amelia: you matter Amelia: to me Amelia: come to my 🏠 I'll call your parents back Jac: we're not doing this again Jac: no Jac: it's bad enough i have people in my life i can't get rid of Amelia: we're not doing anything Jac: stop caring about me Amelia: I can't Jac: how much more do I have to ruin your life Amelia: you have ruined it, that doesn't mean I want you to be dead in a ditch Jac: all I'm going to do is break your heart over and over and then I'm going to leave forever Amelia: tonight it's already broken and that's all I'm talking about Amelia: take the guest bedroom Jac: no Jac: because then my family will just think we're friends again and that I'm fine Jac: I'll go home, okay, just stop Amelia: if you stop lying, I'll stop this Jac: I'll send you proof, for fuck's sake Amelia: okay Jac: fine Amelia: [we're just waiting for that pic like] Jac: [however long this is gonna take, at least you're probably a bit more central, the most begrudging pic of the front door lmao] Amelia: no, put your outfit in it so I know it wasn't stored on your phone Jac: 'cos I just have pictures of my door Jac: [but does, some weird angle to not get your face in] Jac: haven't got a newspaper, so sorry Amelia: if you hadn't stopped the party early, they might have been delivered Jac: it was a crap party anyway Jac: she hadn't even booked a table Amelia: Yeah Jac: at least you can have a better girlfriend for your 18th Amelia: can I? Are you going to let me Jac: probably not Jac: but if she's less easy to ruin then there's nothing I can do about that Amelia: you'd have to try something else, that's all Jac: obviously Jac: I'm still smart Amelia: I'm not giving you a compliment Jac: I'm not saying I'm not going to ruin your chances at happiness Amelia: it's not like I need you to Amelia: SO capable on my own Jac: it's not taking credit if you're making excuses for me Jac: but alright Amelia: I'm talking about the 💇🏻 which you can't take credit for Jac: it suits you Amelia: that is the most hurtful thing you've ever said Amelia: take it back Jac: it's also true Jac: and you wanted me to stop lying Amelia: 😒 Jac: at least you don't look like every other girl now Amelia: you think I did before? Amelia: also that's because no other girl wants to look like 👧🏻 Jac: I mean everyone has the same hair Jac: you stand out more Amelia: you don't Jac: well I'm special, obviously Amelia: I know Jac: 🙄 Amelia: 😉 Jac: you're an idiot Jac: Jude better be at a sleepover Amelia: her hair stands out Jac: you should tell her that Jac: she'll be so glad her attention-seeking doesn't go unnoticed Amelia: she think I'm flirting with her so no Jac: oh yeah Jac: you're a predatory lesbian now Amelia: I kissed you Jac: after I kissed your girlfriend Amelia: you don't fancy her Amelia: that wasn't why you did it Jac: she fancies herself enough Amelia: So does Savannah, that wasn't a problem for you Jac: don't talk about her Amelia: sure, I wouldn't want to upset you Amelia: what's the point being 💔 if you're not the saddest Jac: she's gone, there's no point talking about her Amelia: my parents know hers, she's not gone from dinner table conversation at my 🏠 Jac: sucks for you then Amelia: sucks more for her that she's been sent to catholic school Jac: Catholic school? Amelia: yeah, her dad had that brainwave Jac: that is unfortunate Jac: probably a better school than ours though, so she'll be thrilled Amelia: it's my dad's favourite joke threat now Jac: at least you could avoid me Amelia: true, I should call his bluff and take him up on it next time Jac: go for it Jac: it's only me that has to write off this shit school on her uni app Amelia: the rest of your app will more than make up for it Jac: that's the plan Amelia: exactly, so it's not technically a compliment Jac: you're shit at this Amelia: thanks Jac: no, that really wasn't a compliment Jac: not one of your not technicallys Amelia: 😏 Jac: did you get a car Jac: I bet you got a car Amelia: [a picture of it because why not say she did] Jac: just got to pass now Jac: then you can go where you like Amelia: then I can runaway Jac: nah Jac: they'd take you off their insurance and you'd be fucked Amelia: because I'd never drive without insurance Jac: the police would be frantically looking for you as is Jac: that's always how murderers get caught out Amelia: 🤫 you're ruining this too Jac: you fantasize on your own time Amelia: this is my own time, you're home safe Amelia: I don't owe you my full attention now that your 👅 isn't in my ex girlfriend's mouth Jac: have you kissed anyone else Amelia: no Jac: do you regret it being her Amelia: it wasn't you, that's what I regret Amelia: but it couldn't be so Jac: yeah Jac: at least it was a girl Amelia: I'm not stupid enough to kiss any boys Jac: some just call it heterosexual Amelia: and I'm not so it'd be stupid for me Jac: alright Amelia: but I should probably kiss more girls Jac: why should you Amelia: because she'll think all the wrong things if I don't Jac: true Jac: I thought you didn't care about what people thought though Amelia: I'm going to have to find new friends from somewhere Jac: don't you gays stick together Amelia: she sticks with them and I don't want to see her Jac: you move fast Amelia: I don't really have a choice, do I? Jac: I don't need friends Amelia: handy since you don't have any Jac: that's why I don't Amelia: yeah, because you only care about what you need Jac: duh Amelia: did you ever care about me? Jac: don't be stupid Amelia: did you ever care about me when it wasn't because you needed something? Jac: what kind of question is that Amelia: one I need the answer to Jac: we were friends forever Jac: what did I get from it half the time Jac: no more than you did or didn't Amelia: okay Jac: that was a dick move making me answer that when you already knew Amelia: I didn't know Amelia: whenever I talk to you I end up with more questions than answers Amelia: and end up questioning my sanity Jac: you don't need to Jac: your work here is done Amelia: you can't tell me what to do when you don't even do what you said you were going to Jac: so you're going to continue to make a bad decision, just to be awkward Jac: that's smart Amelia: because you have such good reasons for doing what you did earlier Jac: 'course I do Amelia: go on then Amelia: tell me them Jac: already did Jac: I wanted to fuck it up for you Jac: felt great Amelia: there's smarter ways to feel good, and easier Jac: I've tried those Amelia: oh well I loved being your little experiment, thanks Jac: whatever Jac: it needed to be done Amelia: no it didn't Amelia: you keep saying that Jac: you don't get it Amelia: I don't buy into your fake bullshit, no, and that's all you've given me all night Jac: what's fucking fake about the fact I can't stand to have anyone around me happy? Jac: there's nothing fake about misery being the only thing I can stomach now Amelia: you didn't break up your parents or ruin your brother's music career, you sought me out when I haven't even been around you Amelia: you're full of shit Jac: trust me, I'm doing my best Jac: and you're full of shit if you're now trying to say you don't see me every day Jac: and that it isn't the fucking worst Amelia: I thought it was, until you did this Amelia: now I can say today was the worst Amelia: you're so fucking selfish and cruel Jac: nothing has changed Jac: I sped up your inevitable break-up, that's it Amelia: no, you went out of your way to hurt and humiliate me Amelia: everything has changed Jac: if you say so Jac: it wasn't the first time for me Amelia: who are you? Jac: it doesn't matter Amelia: who the fuck are you? Jac: I don't know, Amelia Jac: alright Amelia: you can't treat people like this Jac: then tell everyone what I did Jac: I don't care Jac: you could've done something about it Amelia: what did you want me to do? Jac: I thought you might put up more of a fight Amelia: for what? Against what? Jac: because I humiliated you Amelia: it wasn't the first time for me either Jac: never like that Amelia: I'm not going to fight you Jac: your loss Amelia: I keep telling you, I care about you, I don't want to hurt you Jac: I wish you'd stop Amelia: I wish I could Jac: yeah Jac: well Amelia: it's my loss, like you said Jac: don't worry, I've got my own Amelia: that makes me feel loads better Jac: it should Amelia: it doesn't Jac: you're infuriating Amelia: says you Amelia: I'm so angry at you Jac: because I wanted you to be Jac: that's the correct response Amelia: no, because I love you too much to hate you Amelia: because it won't go away Amelia: and I don't want to feel like this for the rest of my fucking life no matter what you do Jac: I don't have the answer Jac: If I could make you stop then I would Jac: but I don't know how Amelia: me either Jac: there's nothing I can do if you don't hate me by now Jac: I dropped you for Savannah Jac: I did everything I did tonight Amelia: I was there, I don't need you to recap Jac: I couldn't have made it easier Amelia: there's something wrong with me, there must be Jac: not as bad as me Amelia: my mum said at the time that I fell in love with you years ago and I can't expect to fall out of it in a few weeks or months Jac: logic adds up Amelia: she thinks I'm over it now so clearly not Jac: you probably said you were Jac: or near enough Amelia: the girlfriend thing kind of said it for me Jac: yeah well Jac: I've had loads of boyfriends Amelia: you're not in love with me Jac: I meant it doesn't mean anything, necessarily Amelia: yeah Amelia: my mum is more old fashioned though Amelia: romantic or whatever Jac: more romantic than your girlfriend, yeah Amelia: 🙄 Jac: she wasn't good enough for you anyway Amelia: I'm not good enough for anyone Amelia: I'm literally still in love with someone else who isn't them Jac: it isn't that simple Jac: you can feel things for more than one person Jac: you just, didn't for her and she wasn't worth it Amelia: maybe other people can but I don't Jac: how would you know Jac: it just hasn't happened yet Amelia: I'm too self aware if anything Jac: that's some lesbian nonsense Amelia: I'll put it in my bio then Jac: tinder Amelia: I'm not kissing that many girls, she'll definitely think all the wrong things Jac: be kicking herself, like Jac: or is it only okay when she does it Amelia: probably Jac: just like a lad Amelia: 😣 Jac: awh Amelia: I can't be bothered Jac: with girls? Amelia: I'm not trying anymore, you didn't keep your promises anyway Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: it means I don't care, my life can stay the mess you wanted it to be Jac: alright Jac: not like I can turn around and say 'no don't' now Amelia: and if you turn around you won't see me Jac: what? Amelia: school, I'm not doing it either Jac: shut up Amelia: online maybe so my dad doesn't rage Jac: that's bullshit Amelia: so is this Jac: no, fuck you Amelia: 😂 Jac: so you all get to fucking leave and I'm the one stuck dealing Jac: nah Amelia: I've got nothing to stay for Jac: it's school, no one does Jac: jesus Amelia: you said yourself it sucks having to see me every day Amelia: I'm doing you a favour Jac: you are ridiculous Jac: you think you can just run away like this is some shit indie song Amelia: I've tried the alternative Amelia: it didn't go great Jac: you think Savannah is bad? at least her parents made her go Jac: you're such a spoilt brat Amelia: I don't think about Savannah Jac: you don't think about anything Jac: christ Amelia: your audacity is another level Jac: your stupidity is worse Amelia: yeah, I've proved that loads of times over Jac: fucking hell Jac: your life is so hard, Meelie, yeah Jac: everyone thinks its my fault, what happened to Is Jac: and the more she says otherwise, the more it sounds like it was Amelia: no they don't, I don't Jac: well you love me so you're clearly insane and a bit biased Amelia: even if I hated you I'd still know that you weren't the one who assaulted her Amelia: it's his fault, nobody else's Jac: me and Sav still ran like we had something to hide Jac: that's all anyone cares about, working out what Amelia: you were scared, in shock probably Amelia: you felt like it was your fault Amelia: that doesn't mean it was Jac: all I know is she's fucked off, no one will say anything to Is, so it's all down to me, whatever people wanna say or think about it Jac: so yeah, sorry I think your idea is fucking laughable but been there, done that Jac: didn't solve anything, it only made the rest worse Amelia: I know it's a stupid idea, alright Jac: you can't go, alright, you just can't Amelia: you know I'll fight the whole school before I'd ever fight you Amelia: I'll do it for you too, if that will help Jac: Yeah, I do Jac: nothing will help but Jac: at least you're still here Jac: nothing else is the same Amelia: I'll be in detention every day for the next 2 years if that's what it takes to shut people up Jac: I don't deserve it Jac: or anything but hate from you, and I do fucking know that Amelia: you don't deserve to get the blame for being there and being her friend Amelia: I should've been too Amelia: and after it happened we should've talked Jac: maybe it's just karma Jac: I've never been a good friend to her and by the time it happened Jac: well Jac: I made you leave Amelia: I ruined our friend so I had to leave Amelia: *ship Amelia: that's not your fault either Jac: maybe it is Amelia: it's not Amelia: I shouldn't have told you how I felt Amelia: or been jealous of Savannah Amelia: or made such a big deal about the date you went on Jac: no Jac: I get it Jac: you weren't wrong Amelia: I did the wrong thing by leaving you and Is Jac: I couldn't wish the alternative on you Jac: having to stick around and watch Amelia: I still had to watch Amelia: I couldn't go that far Jac: I know it's my fault because it happened again Amelia: what? Jac: Savannah Jac: I kissed her Amelia: I don't understand Jac: you should have been jealous of her Jac: I mean Jac: you know what I mean Amelia: you mean you felt something for her Jac: I didn't want to feel any of it Jac: but she was straight and you weren't so having her around was meant to be easier Amelia: why didn't you just tell me? Amelia: you lied and lied and made me feel crazy Jac: because I feel crazy Jac: I fucking am Jac: I just Jac: it's not like I left that conversation and told her Jac: I kept on and got with lads and pretended to like it, tried to Amelia: everything you said, everything you did Amelia: oh my god Amelia: I can't Amelia: I can't take this in Jac: like I said, it's fucking karma Jac: I fucked it with you and it happened to me Amelia: I'm supposed to feel what, that she queerbaited you? Happy? validated? Jac: I don't know Jac: probably Amelia: did you know how you felt about her when I told you how I felt? Jac: why? Amelia: because you told me over and over again that you liked boys and you'd change that if you could Jac: yes, and I told her the same thing Jac: and I acted accordingly Amelia: I've spent so long feeling horrible for putting you in that position and none of it was real Jac: it was real Jac: I don't want to be Jac: I want to be straight Amelia: it isn't a choice Amelia: and you can't just twist everything to make it one Jac: acting or not acting on it is Amelia: so why did you choose to act on it by kissing her, if that's what you think? Jac: it was a mistake Jac: when we left Jac: after Is Jac: and it was just us Jac: then it destroyed everything and she's literally run away Amelia: and then you destroyed what was left after she'd gone Jac: yes Amelia: great Jac: I'm aware Amelia: are you? Amelia: for years I thought things were one way only to be told they weren't and now you're telling me an entirely different story again Amelia: 🤯 Jac: because we don't live in the ideal world where I accept myself for liking girls and I choose the right one and we live happily ever after Jac: we live in the world where I kissed Savannah and she looked at me like I was the boy who assaulted Isabelle Jac: and that's how I feel about it, and I would rather pretend to be straight forever, and have no real friends again, than have to do that, and feel that disgust again Amelia: we live in a world that doesn't revolve around Savannah fucking Moore Amelia: because she doesn't accept you, you can't accept yourself? No Jac: it's not her fault Jac: the rules don't make no fucking sense Jac: do you know how often she told me she loved me, how beautiful I was, and smart and perfect and kind, that she wanted me in her life forever? Jac: but that doesn't mean she wants to kiss me Amelia: that's why it literally is her fault Amelia: she flirted with you more than I EVER have, or would dare to openly do because I would get called a predatory lesbian and she gets likes and follows Jac: but she meant it Jac: I know she did Jac: that's just friendship to her Jac: it's too confusing Amelia: you want her to have meant it the same way you did, like I wanted you to with me Jac: but I did Jac: I lied Jac: so I know it doesn't make a difference now Jac: but still, you weren't wrong and I did, I am, whatever Jac: it was shitty to lie, I know, I accept it Jac: but she meant it all but she is straight...how does that work Amelia: I don't know Amelia: straight people are weird Jac: I don't want to find that relatable Jac: I want to be normal Amelia: I'm not abnormal, shut up Jac: fine, straight Jac: I don't want to ever have to think about this ever again Amelia: why do you want it so bad? Jac: so I don't feel like this Jac: the not knowing Jac: how much it hurts Jac: boys are easy, I told you Amelia: because you don't like them Amelia: if you were straight you'd get hurt just the same Amelia: you said it, Valentina's no different than a lad Jac: lads just like me Jac: I've never kissed any lad and had them recoil Amelia: they liked me too, it doesn't mean I had to like them back Jac: I mean it's not the same Jac: if a lad didn't like me, he'd have reasons Amelia: loads of girls like you too, I was friends with them for a bit, I heard all that gossip Amelia: Savannah's reason is that she doesn't like girls, any of them Jac: but she loves me Jac: more than she ever did Ty, I fucking know it Amelia: not like that, like Is loved us Jac: I can't stand it Amelia: I know Jac: you know I am sorry Jac: don't you Amelia: yeah Jac: you just had come so far and had done so much work Jac: it wasn't fair Jac: what I did wasn't, but it wouldn't have been to act on it, when I wanted so badly to be straight, for everything I did tell you to be true Amelia: no, I was in exactly the same place that we left each other in Amelia: you're not the only one who can lie Jac: I'm just so sorry but that's worth fuck all Jac: I hate how stupid all of it seems now Jac: redundant Jac: but that's close to a fair punishment, I suppose Amelia: you've already been punished Amelia: and sorry always means something when it's a real one Jac: I feel Jac: I don't Jac: I'm broken Jac: I don't even want to be a person now Amelia: I don't want to find that relatable Amelia: but it is Jac: fuck's sake Jac: see, why would I choose this? Jac: even if they're weird, this never happens to straight people Amelia: of course it does Amelia: Savannah's parents are fucked Jac: just because they don't love each other no more Jac: when they got together, I'm sure they both knew Amelia: still, her mum's so broken she's barely a person Jac: all I'm saying is we're getting dangerously close to comparing being gay to a mental illness Jac: which is what homophobes say and I'm not trying to be the confirmation Amelia: it's not being gay, it's loving the wrong person Amelia: there are happy gays, I've met some Amelia: and your brother isn't being held back by it Jac: don't get me started Amelia: Jude's love life is messier than his Amelia: more dramatic Jac: he'll end up with a girl Amelia: you don't know that Jac: wait and see Amelia: yeah, I'll stalk him from afar like a fangirl Amelia: 🤢 Jac: it's not the same either Amelia: you love a competition Jac: yeah, this is so much fun Jac: him and Jude are the same Jac: it doesn't mean anything to them, so they aren't getting hurt Jac: they don't care, it's not serious Amelia: you've got me, we're very much the same Amelia: in this anyway Jac: I don't want to love anyone ever again Amelia: then don't Jac: that's why I have no friends Amelia: yeah well you don't need them, that's the line and the lie, right? Jac: it's not funny Jac: I can't be trusted Jac: with any kind of relationship with a girl Amelia: I'm not laughing because me either Amelia: I make bad choices and I'm proven stupid, remember Jac: it's so fucking isolating Amelia: school is anyway Amelia: we're all in boxes Jac: you never used to hate it this much Amelia: now you understand how much I hate everything Amelia: how exhausted I am Amelia: it'd be nice to have the solidarity if it wasn't so horrible Jac: I'm just trying to get used to it Jac: accept it Amelia: at least you don't have to see her every day Amelia: maybe that'll make it different Jac: I never get to see her again Amelia: you don't know that either Jac: I do Jac: she's unlikely to stop by when she's seeing her mum Amelia: you verbally recoiled from me, ruined my birthday, nobody would call it likely that we're talking Jac: naive optimism is exactly what got you here Jac: don't even need to scroll for the reminder Amelia: ouch Amelia: you always find new ways to hurt me Jac: you really did just say you made bad choices and were stupid Jac: continuing this conversation is just another one for the list, probably Amelia: I can say it and do so you don't need to Jac: alright, alright Amelia: you're blocked though, this is the only place you could try to Jac: I could make another post but the point has been made well enough I reckon Amelia: it's not my birthday now so there's no point Amelia: ⛅ Jac: sod you then Jac: don't want you getting the wrong impression Amelia: 😂 bit late for that Jac: yeah Amelia: my dad'll be up soon I'll just wait ☕ Amelia: don't need you to entertain me any further Jac: you gonna tell him about your shit birthday Amelia: I'll tell them both we broke up and they'll be thrilled Amelia: it's all they want to hear Jac: you can tell them it was my fault, it doesn't matter to me Amelia: why would I do that? Jac: dunno, but having someone else's parents take over and shout at me for a bit might be mildly entertaining Amelia: they think I'm over you, they want me to be better Amelia: I'm not going to ruin the lie Jac: rude Jac: but fine Jac: guess you don't owe me Amelia: no, I don't Jac: enjoy your coffee then Amelia: it'll taste disgusting like it always does Amelia: the biggest lie of all Jac: you aren't as exhausted and sad as you say you are Jac: the taste would've been acquired by now, you massive child Amelia: I've had to hide it longer than you Amelia: I'm just more skilled and hilarious Jac: so you're better at being sad? Jac: and I love a competition 🙄 Amelia: 😏 Amelia: I've acquired a taste for anything with a high enough alcohol content, there you go Jac: I was drunk before I got there and that was still apparent Amelia: haven't needed stitches yet Jac: that's something Jac: anyway, how'd you figure you've had to hide it longer? Amelia: because I have Amelia: you were sitting pretty on a ☁ with Savannah for ages Amelia: nothing could touch you up there Jac: that's where you're wrong Amelia: I'm not letting you win again Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not like I was fucking boys because I thought I wanted to Amelia: okay 🏆 no need to make me cry thinking about that Jac: they aren't that bad Jac: well, usually Jac: just not as interesting, it didn't make sense Jac: why we would waste time we could be together instead Amelia: it's really sad Amelia: as 💔 it was seeing you with lads, I thought it was at least what you wanted Jac: they aren't the ones that made me 💔 Amelia: I know but Amelia: I can't imagine doing that, or how it would make me feel if I thought I had to Jac: well you're much softer than I am Amelia: excuse me, it took you years to break me, Savannah did the same to you in 1 Amelia: you're not that hard Jac: I think that says more about Savannah than it does you Jac: but alright Amelia: right, because she's so perfect Amelia: I actually can't compete Jac: shut up Amelia: it's true Jac: it isn't that simple, I keep saying Amelia: it's as simple as you've already said, she's straight and I'm not Amelia: it was safer for you, except it wasn't Jac: you make it sound Jac: ugh Amelia: isn't it? Jac: you think I'm a right cold, calculating bitch Jac: and I'm not saying you're wrong but it was nice when you thought otherwise Amelia: we can't go back, you really drilled that into me Jac: I know Jac: oh well Amelia: oh well? that's the best you can do, yeah? Amelia: doesn't sound very calculating and well planned out Jac: because it's all over Jac: the only thing I've got left is uni and the career I want Jac: nothing else can or is going to exist Amelia: that's more than I've got Amelia: I haven't exactly been concentrating on my app Jac: well you're going to run away and find your Thelma aren't you Amelia: you ruined that fantasy with reality Jac: yeah right Jac: you're still a hopeless romantic Amelia: with a 🚗 I can't drive yet Jac: have you had any lessons yet Amelia: no Amelia: I keep asking my dad but he's always too busy Jac: go ask him now Amelia: I've drank too much to go now Jac: well duh but he'll feel so bad for you he'll make time tomorrow or whatever Amelia: and we're back to calculating Jac: someone has to if you wanna be wild and free Amelia: 😂 Jac: how early is it Jac: will the library be open Amelia: it's weird that the library is still open at any hour Amelia: you're literally the only person who ever goes there Jac: excuse me, only child Jac: you try and study with a house full of annoying kids and dogs Amelia: I'm fine with a 🏠 swap, I don't feel like studying Jac: yeah only if you make it permanent Amelia: you wouldn't take my guest room for a night, I don't think I'd be able to make that happen Jac: because you were there Amelia: rude Jac: sensible Amelia: nothing's going to happen Jac: yeah exactly Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: it means we aren't going to be friends Amelia: why not? Jac: I told you why Amelia: I'm not asking you to care about me, I'm saying I'm here for you Jac: No Jac: I wasn't joking when I said I can't have friends Amelia: I know you weren't Jac: that includes you Jac: especially you Amelia: okay Jac: okay Amelia: good morning then Jac: 👋

[acadeamic]

Hi, una! (What a great name btw!!) I was looking through your posts and (I hope this isn't creepy lol sorry!) I noticed you're taking AP bio - I'm taking that class too! I'm like, super not doing well in that class and I was wondering if you had any advice/tips/resources on how you study for ap bio. Sorry if this comes across as stalkerish lol I'm just really struggling in that class rn. Thanks so much! 💛

hi anon!

first off, thank you so much!! you are SO sweet:') dw, it's not creepy at all, i don't mind a bit! it's why that info is there, hehe

as for AP bio, i can't say it's my BEST class, but i do have some tips & methods for both studying & exam-taking, which is how i'm going to split my answer here!

for general studying

focus on big ideas! my teacher often stressed which things the exam prioritized, and told us which things always showed up on the exam vs. what you only need to know a little bit of. as a general rule, i'd say make sure you know the basic concepts, even if you can't remember specific things.

don't rely too heavily on the textbook. there's a lot of information in there, which can be hard to absorb. not all that information is essential, either. if you have access to it, i would use the princeton review or the 5 steps to a 5 books. they're a lot more compact, succinct, and easier to study from.

find good ways to remember things! my teacher sometimes made these semi-elaborate stories that would help us conceptualize or remember particular processes. for example: the action-potential graph and process was given to us as a potassium party, with the sodium-potassium pump being the bouncer that only let in potassium up until a certain voltage, and so on. it's a bit simplistic, but i swear it works! another thing she did was have us make cutouts to explain the DNA to RNA process, so that we could act it out with the paper shapes. you may want to ask your teacher or someone who knows about bio to share one of these methods if they have one, or search it up online as something like "easy ways to remember [xyz]".

some things you really will just have to memorize. for example: the types of reproducive isolation. for me, what works best is note-taking and flashcards. i like to write things repeatedly until they stick, with intervals in between to see how much i can name & describe at the top of my head. there are other ways to go about plain memorization, but this is what works for me and it's nice to be able to look back at what i've written before tests to study!

albert.io has TONS of AP bio MCQs and FRQs. i would definitely take advantage of this resource if you can. the quantity of questions can be a bit overwhelming, so don't start from the beginning but rather where you need the most practice (albert also has practice questions for tons of other courses too, AP or non-AP, so check that out if you're interested!)

personally what i like to do before tests and some exams is, as i kind of said, rewriting my notes. not in as much detail, but key ideas, concepts or diagrams that i feel are important or are things that faded from my mind throughout the year and that i now have to relearn.

ASK FOR HELP! if you have any resource centers at your school, go to them! if what your AP bio teacher is saying doesn't click with you, try someone else with some teaching experience! watching videos and taking notes are great, but sometimes you just need another human being to give you some one-on-one help and explanations for things you're confused about. if you don't have some kind of science help center at your school, i would ask your peers! if there's something you don't understand, most students really don't mind taking 5-10 minutes to run through something with you.

for taking the exam

the AP bio exam is a reading exam as well a science exam. oftentimes you don't have to know exactly what's going on in order to get the right answer. things like drawing graphs in the FRQ or making educated guesses based on word choice in the MCQ are things you can do w/o remembering specific details. figure out what the question is asking first without worrying about the knowledge you have! for example: an MCQ may be about the ethics of a certain medical procedure. one answer choice will probably start with "should.... [xyz]" as opposed to "can/how does [xyz]" and you can immediately rule out the others because of the word choice, which is factual and not theoretical, without knowing exactly what the biology-related information behind the question is.

in the middle of the MCQ, they're going to have a LONG stretch of questions based off of a (series of) graph(s). they do this because it's where you're probably getting tired. you'll be burned out, and you'll want to either rush through it, or you'll be frustrated bc it's so long. LEAVE THOSE. skim through it and answer what you know, but if there's something that currently looks too unappealing, then circle it and come back. once you're done, you can come back to it with a set of fresh eyes and you'll often notice that they were less complicated than you initially thought.

on a similar note, don't be afraid to skip questions to come back to them. if it's taking you more than a few seconds the first time around and/or you have no idea what the question's about, circle it and move on. get as many questions bubbled in before going back and spending a bit more time on the questions you weren't sure about. again, you may be surprised to find that it wasn't too complicated after all. if you're feeling tired of MCQs in general, skip to the math portion at the end! do those, it's a different structure than the MCQ (which is the bulk of the section) and it may clear your mind a little bit.

for the FRQ, again, it's a reading exam. never leave a question unanswered. if you remember vaguely what they're referring to in the question, try and get down a sentence with some key words. the grading rubric doesn't care about eloquency, but about the relevance of the words you put on paper.

some FRQs are meant to be shorter and more detailed than the others. the first two questions are worth 10 points each and take more time to complete. if you're not sure, just draw the graph they ask you to and move on for now. the other questions are worth 3, 4 maybe 5 points? get through those and DON'T spend too much time writing for them. those often only require, like, 2 sentences. save your time!!

i hope this was at least somewhat helpful! good luck, anon, lmk how it goes💓

[wigglecoin]

Hey these are some object ocs i have for a little show I’m thinking of! i have a lot so i will put some details about who they are under a read more!

ok so there are three photos here (as you can see) and i will start with the first (I’m sorry its so long)

Teams photo, blue team:                                                                                      this photo is also split into three parts so i will go one by one in this too

Sequin: sequin is a pretty arrogant character, who doesn’t actually do much for the team and rarely participates (before being nagged about it of course but even then not that much) he does have a friend (and alliance member) JoyBuzzer they both goof off together almost constantly. He thinks he is incredibly lovable and is flirty a lot of the time but never gets flirts, who knows how he would react to that ;) (me,i know,he gets flustered 9000)  and anyway all n all he's pretty oblivious about most things actually. ignorance is bliss i guess, he's also pretty narcissistic.

JB/JoyBuzzer: JB is a character who makes kinda dark humor/anti humor on the show (ex: why did Gram cracker fall of the swing? Cause she didn’t have any arms.) he’s also a pretty strong character I wouldn’t want to mess with. He is friends (and allies) with sequin and doesn’t really help him keep with the challenge as the two are usually off to talk about whatever. Sequin seems to be the character he cares most about and actually is a good pal to him, with other people however it’s a different story he sometimes will be at best apathetic about them/their feelings and at worst tease them (which is not the worst thing you could do but is still pretty bad) but sense sequin was able to get on his friend side it is not impossible to become friends with him. I would recommend staying on his good side if you can.

GC/Gram cracker/grammy(only if you’re a close friend): GC here is a quiet and pretty sensitive actually, she trys her hardest to be neutral to basically everything as to not have disagreements. will cry if you call her names. protect her. I’m considering having her be mute but I’m not really sure rn, even if she isn’t tho she doesn’t talk much regardless,she is also pretty indecisive, and probably wears flower crowns in secret.

Feather: feather is an interesting character (to myself at least, she was the first object oc i created after napkin) she is the most motivated of the characters to get the challenge done and done well. she might act bossy but she’s a real sweetheart 

BH/Bowler hat/hat/b-hat: he and cane went on to the show already knowing each other, but got chosen for opposite teams. his half of the opposing duo is a more practical half who originally wanted to be an author but was pulled into this by cane, tho he’s having a good time anyway! also they gay.

Teams photo, red team:

Cane: cane is the other half of the separated inseparable two he is more up in the clouds as they say, and has a more positive outlook then most in the cast actually whoops. he and b-hat treat the game more as a couples competition then a game show

Gum: gum is a more upbeat character but she still understands the goals of the challenge probably has the most friends tho, she more is the mom of the team then anything actually. she keeps sour candy in line most of the time and also is friends with radio she is more confused about why he has to be in his own team then mad about it tho, but she cant help because of the rules she tries to do it in a loop hole sort of way tho.

Key: key is actually based on a key i have in real life! He is a very soft spoken character who is never seen without his scarf which he does chew on sometimes (projecting onto my oc? What, Noooo) and is generally anxious but overall he’s kind of ignored by most of the team unless he is doing spectacularly or very poorly. PK seems to be the only one who recognizes him through the whole show, yet he still tries to help and wants to be more of a part of the group. he also really likes dinosaurs and dragons

PK/Plastic Knife: pk doesn’t really care much about the show but participates anyway, like almost complete apathy. participates i think out of a feeling of obligation. In like the middle of one of the episodes they get a dog because why not. you can’t tell them they can’t have a dog, well you can but they wont listen. what are you gonna do about it.

SC/Sour Candy: sour candy isn't really the friendliest of characters, he has a case of resting bich face. he can let very small things frustrate him and likes a challenge. the thing that motivates him most is spite, he thinks the blue team doesn't do enough for the challenge and complains about it constantly, most of his complaints are toward sequin and joy buzzer, because they don't even do anything their alliance is completely unproductive and not to mention two people is a little short for an alliance, they need somebody to help them become a functioning team! though he's a total hypocrite because he complains so much he doesn't do anything for the challenge either. gum normally is confused about why he even cares about the other team and they sometimes have arguments about why he does. 

Teams photo, green ’team’:

radio: radio is a dude who is pretty talkative, yet thats kind of hard to do when his own team consists of him and only him because tv doesn’t like him and he doesn’t even know why himself. is it unfair? yes. is it going to change? absolutely not. tho even still he’s pretty nice but hates tv because he placed him on his own team but he doesn’t even know why

TV, The host picture:                                                                                         next is the host tv, this picture is not split up in parts so you don’t need a more zoomed in photo of the picture right? if it would be better i could edit the post?

TV: TV is the host of this thing he does not stop smiling for any reason =) all n all he’s a good host to most on the show and is nice to all most everyone except radio who he hates, why he hates him i will keep a secret ;) not much is actually known about him personality wise tho.

Picture with other ocs:                                                                                         i don’t know which team these would be on and also PK’s dog/stool 

Lazer: lazer is a sort of closed off character and well as kinda secretly wants to take over the world. but honestly i would let her??? does not like being called anything other then lazer (not later pointer, or LP, or something else just lazer) she sounds more dangerous that way. probably has a leather jacket somewhere she wears around when she’s alone to practice being tough  

DS/Dandelion Seed/Dandy: a super excitable character lol, very random XD  she also doesn’t have legs if you have noticed and just floats around, an oc that has ocs is probably featured in cringe comps but h8rs gonna h8. brings more light to the whole show actually.

Flag: honestly i haven’t thought about him much unfortunately, he’s basically a wannabe superhero and tries to be one but is not that good, also he can change what his flag is cause why not

Stool/PK’s dog: just PKs dog but idk if it should be a stool or an actual beagle cause it is in the object world. do dogs even exist? what do you guys think? 

also this will probably be in web-comic form if i do this at all because i don’t know how to animate. now i feel really great actually because I’ve been working mostly procrastinating on this for like months whoops sorry (but I’m also kinda nervous about how people will think of these ocs lol)

[blackrupee]

Wow your life sounds complicated right now I'm sorry for that. So you aren't gonna have any managers what the fuck? And OH MY GOD I hate when people come in to eat so close to close!!!! ( I work @ zaxbys) if someone is acting passive aggressive I would act even more passive aggressive- make that bitch regret it- regarding the 2 guys: 2 guys is better than no guys:))) wish the first one didn't pressure you though. How did the 2nd one hurt you? - and I care so don't worry about boring me

hi hello would you like to read a novel on my life thanks i talk too much (tldrs at end)

nah like.. we had been managing with a general manager and 3 assistant managers even though we really need 4 so as not to overwork anyone. we recently hired a new one from a corporate arbys (we’re franchised) and two just quit. like i mentioned, theyre not coming back even though the original plan was that their new jobs would be only temporary (6 weeks). sooooo now we have a general manager who only works weekday day shifts, one assistant manager who is relatively new (she had been working at this place for a while but was promoted to manager 6ish months ago) and another who is brand new but still has some experience. they said theyre looking to promote from within initially, but they might have to hire outside people if no suitable potential manager is picked. id love to get manager pay and its not like managers do anything hard so id be WILLING to be a manager..like the whole reason why i got trained on backline was because we have such a big turnover rate with backline people since it fucking SUCKS and i was wanting to be helpful and flexible. so like. thats what i offerred. but one assistant manager was like “lmao all youd do is swear at the customers” and im like bitch when have i ever?? i talk shit about them all the time but ive only sworn IN FRONT OF a customer twice and neither time was it directed at them. but i mean im sitting on a small handful of customer complaints so its not like the gm would even consider me probably. idk dude. i can be nice if you pay me to be nice. but i get paid to do food and do it fast……….so

but yeah literallyyyyyyyyy i have no idea how people can be so??? inconsiderate???? and they dont??? care??? im learning that my contant frustration with people in my personal interactions is due to a disconnect between what i value in  expectations and what actually happens. like. when i go somewhere i already KNOW what i want, so i say it quickly and competently. i preface a lot of my interactions with people im requesting food or services from with “i’m sorry but…”. i phrase things as “could i get” as opposed to “get me” or “i want” which sound HELLA rude tbh. id always have my money ready at the window or the register, im always trying to pay attention and not miss anything or just….be rude in any way bc i know fast food fucking sucks. i know some of the people i interact with probably hate their job as much as i do and i want to be the smallest burden i can be. and it seems like nearly no one else has these same values???? and i dont understand how people can just??? be? so? inconsiderate?

also yes bitch im the queen of passive aggression. literally the night before i was working a short shift and my friend was closing frontline and this bitch was closing drivethrough. i just got the okay to clock out and i was like “bye! have a beautiful night! just know that i love you so much and ive everything ive ever said has always been fake until this point! never meant anything ive ever said until now especially if your name starts with k or ends with ristin (drivethrough girl/the one whos being so difficult is named kristin) but just know that i love you!” and basically being really dramatic and extra as satire.

i guess for context the whole reason she decided to be mad at me was the other night when she was drunk and was like “do you even likeeeeeee meeee i feel like you hateeeee meeee wahh wahh wahhhh” even though im like…..yes bitch i enjoy your company? i joke/use hyperbole/satire/irony/whatever a lot but like occasionally id be like “ey yo you know its all jokes right u know i love u right” just to ensure that she knows but she fucking. ignores it all. i feel like she so desperately WANTS me to hate her and tbh i got fucking sick and tired of hearing her complain all the time about this shit! i fucking hate repeating myself! so sure. if you want me to hate you so fucking much there. i hate you. i fucking hate you so fucking much. like is that what you want to hear? is that validating? are you fucking happy?

its so fucking frustrating

but i will not be held accountable for her decision to be upset. because thats what it is. she wants to be upset, and she wants me to be responsible for it when its literally not my responsibility. i am absolutely not going to stand for this shit like i kind of want to say its emotional abuse lmaooo but im just so fucking sick of it. 

everyone knows that i take chicken tenders and turnovers that would be thrown out at the end of the night and she was closing frontline yesterday and made a point to throw out the turnovers right next to me without asking if i wanted any/leaving any for me. i mean i completely expected her to be that petty of a bitch so it was kind of funny tbhonestly. also im p sure she unfollowed me here lmaoo

with regards to the guys and this paragraph could get a bit tmi/nsfw: yeah the first one kind of sucked but i feel like a little bit of the New Person Nerves have worn down so id do better if we were to hookup again. because like i totally would love to have fucked him but…..anxiety. he was hot tho. like 10/10 body and ass holy shit. plus he complimented me on my ass eating so (assuming that was genuine and not a vapid ego boost haha paranoia am i right) hopefully he comes back for seconds. 

second guy ive had a longish history with. started talking to him at the beginning of last fall semester and we hooked up kinda regularly for about a month. things fell apart, we both understood that we wouldn’t be good dating wise but still enjoyed meaningless cuddles. whatever. it got to a point where he would only hit me up like once every month and a half or so and towards like january-ish he hits me up again. so im like nice cool lets chill. im getting ready for this but my phone is in the other room. while im doing this he drove by my place to pick me up (since he was on his way back from nashville), didnt get a response to an “im here” text (bc i was busy and tbh not expecting him to do that), and left. he lives within like walking distance tho so im like “?? sorry i was busy are you still out or should i walk over?“ and he texts me like “sorry hold up a thing just happened” and im like…….okay. so im just.. waiting around for him. periodically texting like “hey are we good for tonight and whats going on?” because like there was some drama with his friend? hes like.. apologizing and shit but this goes on for an hour. BUT. the ENTIRE time he’s dealing with this friend problem or whatever he’s literally on grindr. and at the end of this hour im like in full blown paranoia panic mode and i literally text him something mentioning this and he BLOCKS ME ON GRINDR so im like ??????!!!!??? and i text him (all while saying “not to be crazy or paranoid bc im probably coming off that way but like could i get an answer or something??”) AND HE LITERALLY SAYS HE DELETED HIS GRINDR. but thats a LIE because i have a secondary account to see like……if guys are still on grindr/if a thing with a guy might turn into something more like if i see he’s not on grindr as much?? thats prob incredibly stalkerish and probably really creepy but hey. thats me. so i KNOW he lied to me but i cant really say “hey ur a liar” without disclosing this weird creepy stalker part of me (funnily enough this isnt the first time a guy has lied to me and i caught it with my secondary account! so it proves to have some function use in the end. not totally crazy). so. yeah. that was the incident. after this i dont trust him at all, and i still dont, but i had it in my mind to like somehow get him to fall in love with me just so i could break his heart for doing this? never really worked out. so now im at the point where im like….eh he’s a piece of shit and i hate him but ill cuddle with him bc it feels good

back to nsfw/tmi: the sex was okay. he’s weird about people being near his like….dick and stuff because he was raped and i totally get it bc i was too but he was comfortable enough for me to finger him and my finger still hurts from where he clenched when he came lmaoooooo. was totally hot tho. and i got to east his ass so im like eyyyyyyyy. its been so long since ive eaten ass so having it two consecutive nights in a row has been cathartic.

tldr; we have 2 assisant managers and a gm rn. looking for more

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; he’s a liar