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#I had the image of both Breha and Fox having the same glow given from the medical treatment they received
varpusvaras · 3 months
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Leia had loved sleeping in her parents' room.
It was always like a little adventure, like something they weren't really supposed to be doing. Like a secret of some sorts, even though she was never unwelcome to their room either, not really. Sometimes they wanted privacy, but if she truly needed them, Leia knew she was always welcome.
It had exciting, to crawl under the bigger blankets and put her pillow in between theirs, and listen to them talk to each other in low voices as she drifted off.
In the dark, she could see the soft, golden glow on her Mama's chest. It was never too noticeable during the day, with the sunlight being so much brighter, but in the darkness of the night, Leia could see it.
It had felt almost magical, in a sense. Mama never minded if Leia burrowed herself against her, hands splaying across the glow. Leia knew that it was because Mama had gotten hurt, but it had been a long time ago now, and the glow was a reminder that she was alive, that her Mama was alive and was still the Queen despite it all.
Leia's Buir's back also glowed the same, soft gold in the dark. It started as a line from where his neck and the back of his head met, and travelled down, all the way to the small of his back, like his whole spine was made of the glow.
When Leia had touched it, her fingers landing at his neck, her Buir had flinched away.
She had not understood it back then, not the sudden flashes of fear that had felt almost like her own. She had flinched away herself at them, and had spent the night on her Mama's arms, while Papa had taken Buir into his, and they had spoken in hushed tones even as Leia had finally fallen asleep.
She had asked about it, carefully, the next morning.
"Buir got hurt, once", Mama had explained.
"You got too", Leia had said. "You're not afraid when I touch you where it glows."
Mama had looked almost sad, then.
"It's a different thing", she had said. "It's been a long time for me. I've forgotten most of it, no matter how much it hurt back then. It was an accident, after all. But sometimes-"
She had looked Leia in the eyes then as she spoke.
"-sometimes, when you get hurt when someone else hurts you, it's much more difficult to forget. He's a bit sad for scaring you like that last night, so do talk it out with him today, alright?"
"Of course", Leia had said, and then thought what her Mama had just said some more. "Did someone hurt Buir?"
Mama had been quiet for a moment.
"Yes", she had answered, finally. "Don't worry. He is safe now."
For some reason, for a reason Leia could not explain, she thought that her Mama had sounded afraid.
Leia hadn't wanted to believe that she would ever lie to her, so she had not said anything. She had climbed to her Buir's arms, later that day, and he had not felt afraid or sad anymore, so eventually, Leia had almost forgotten all about it.
But not completely, no, and she remembered it all too clearly now.
"No."
"Leia", Buir gave her a look, even though his voice was still level and calm. "Don't be too harsh on Luke. He needed to do it, in order for him to succeed in reaching him. He couldn't have anything weighing on him at that moment. He needed to do it."
"But I don't!" Leia tried to breathe, to calm herself down. "I don't have to do it! Luke can't ask me to do it!"
"I don't think he is truly asking for you to do it", Buir said. "Most likely he is just asking you to see his point of view."
"I do see his point of view", Leia said. "I also wish that he understands my point of view, and understands that I will never forgive him. He is not my father. You and Papa are, and he hurt you."
"He did", Buir said. "How would you feel like, if I told you that I have forgiven him?"
Leia looked at him. It was maybe unfair, to look into his feelings as well, but she was tired and angry, and she was especially tired of people in her life trying to soften their feelings for her sake.
"You don't mean it." She knew she sounded like she was accusing him. "Not completely."
Buir sighed, then shook his head.
"No", he admitted. "Not completely. But I am still walking, am I not? I am alive and standing on my own feet. Is that not what's truly important?"
Leia thought about it for a long moment, before she could be sure of her answer.
"Yes", she said. He was still there, in front of her, as tall and strong as he had always been for her whole life.
"It's a start, then", Buir said, and smiled at her. "For both of us. The last thing I want is for you to be angry for me, for the rest of your life, when I am happy."
It had been a long time since Leia had let herself be just her parents' child again, instead of a Princess, a Rebel, or a General. But now she hugged her Buir back tightly as he held her, and let herself be free of it all, of everything else than what was most important.
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