#I had this idea for the last week but Im in my last 3 weeks so I dont have so much time hahaha im gonna d | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

moti-otp · 4 months

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Missa's favorite beanie

#qsmp au #qsmp missa #qsmp philza #qsmp pissa #I had this idea for the last week but Im in my last 3 weeks so I dont have so much time hahaha im gonna d #anyways they make me so happy #tomodachi life au

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lilliancdoodles · 5 months

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Week 1 MerMay!! Roughish sketch of Life is like the ocean, it goes up and down (by @tastytoastz) Jaiden and Foolish chilling on the beach before everything goes to shit

#qsmp #qsmp au #LCDoodles #Im trying to teach myself to draw faster #So I wasn't too worried about things looking perfect #And this was actually all done today!! (It normally takes me like 3 days to do a piece)#I've had the image in my head since the meeting in chapter 6 I think where Jaiden leaned on Foolish #That was the original setting of this but I didn't want to hide foolish's tail under the table #then the last chapter released (aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. toast I am crying ;-;)#and it gave me this setting!!#Just in some light grey scale so hint at tones but I didn't want to fuck with colors #I'm going to try to do a sketch like this each week and I already have some ideas #(I'm going to try to have them on Friday for the next weeks this one just snuck up on me)

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butnotbubblegum · 2 months

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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, don’t read them if you’re having a bad day, they’ll probably not help in the slightest.

#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea #like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit #and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble #and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal #and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die #and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide #like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif #like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat #is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself #is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills #feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing #actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub #i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local #and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id #if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like #such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just #is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state #by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about #living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the #urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends #and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so #fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i #hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever #bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc #everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m #father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop #i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak

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todayisafridaynight · 2 years

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TOSHIZO HIJIKATA | “WHERE’S MY SAMURAI”

#ishin spoilers #spoilers #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku ishin #yakuza series #like a dragon ishin #hijikata toshizo #yoshitaka mine #snap chats #sorry im like this #i stole this from idea my twitter mooty too im scum </3 #THIS DOESNT EVEN BANGA S HARD AS MY LAST AMV its prob cause i didnt use typography this time #i was going to but like. No #i refuse to let another Silly Haha impulsive amv consume my week #plus the other one it was lyric dependent- like the lyrics were actually important #this one not so much its just vibes bro #anyway please enjoy another terrible amv #even outside of lack of typography theres just something missing #i wish i had more effects on my editing program. or like. any #i dont wanna free hand everything bro i dont have time for that #and i cant get the app everyone uses cause my phone sucks #anyways my class is starting soon so i gotta bounce #so funny im posting this today when someone rb'd my aoki amv and tagged it like. When I Rule the World Ryo Aoki Monday #not his monday anymore its mine monday girls #i promise if i ever make another amv ill do better. or a least invest in effects or smthn idk I JUST DIDNT WANNA DO TYPGRAPHY AGAIN #plus i just wanna look at him.... i dont wanna look at aoki he crusty #OK THIS POST IS DONE FR NOW BYE

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lesliemeyers · 5 months

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digging through old discord convos and i just found a handful of stankyle sketches from like 2020 tht i never finished... ohh i know what my next few drawings are gonna beeee

#not today tho im busy today. but perhaps tomorrow <3 #drilling into my head that 'no i actually dont need to try to force myself to post stuff every day thats how u get burned out' vs the #'i love posting things and getting interaction teeheeeee'#ive posted so much art on here in the last few weeks bc ive simply had lots of ideas and i still have More ideas but also just. life busy #ANYWAY. all this to say. expect more art in the coming times. but also i need to pace myself #blabbermouth

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songwritingauslly · 2 months

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don’t you love it when ur friend forgets about u and ignores ur existence the second she’s near her best friend

#/sarcastic #but ugh i feel like an idiot #like yes i understand she’s ur best friend ur super close u know each others deepest darkest secrets u have inside jokes etc #but why the fuck are u completely ignoring me??#no eye contact not a single word to me and i have not idea what u guys are talking ab and im RIGHT HERE #like i know im short but i know u can fucking see me #the past few weeks have been nice we’ve hung out a few times and talked and it’s good #but the second her bestie is there is like i don’t exist #like am i missing something?? i know her bestie doesn’t hate me bc she said hi and hugged me #but she was also low key ignoring me and not including me in the conversation so i’m also annoyed with her #tbh from now on i won’t initiate convos with her like idc im sick of feeling like she’s only friends with me as a last resort #bc fun fact: we didn’t talk much for about 2 years and then out of the blue asks if we want to hang out months after she had a fight with #someone and lost all her friends except like 3 #so idc i don’t wanna drag this on anymore #ok rant over time to enjoy my boba #ani’s stuff

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dreams-in-daylight · 19 days

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#fmlllllll #snap and wellfare benefits are being withheld until i can do a recertification phone call #which i missed bc i had no idea when it would be #abd that particular day i was visiting fam in an area w no internet or cellphone service #i called within 10 days of missing it and i’m still on the mfing rescheduling list over a month later #i’ve been calling for two days now about the withheld benefits #i only ever get put on hold for hours #i try different numbers but they aren’t what i need to call #i have food for now #but that won’t last #and i’m supposed to be trying to lower my cholesterol #i made what i call ‘anti depression’ pasta on monday so i have dinner for the week #but thats just pasta w parm basil garlic black pepper butter and olive oil #i found the recipe online if anyone wants #it calls for cherry tomatoes and crushed red pepper flakes but im a badic bitch #i have gummy vitamins and cans of chicken noodle soup #two or so servings of salad #apples and 3 bananas left #might need to dip into the emergency food (canned soup)#stressful af #haven’t showered in days bc can’t afford non food items #fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

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delta-piscium · 1 month

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asking whoever came up with quotes in academic papers for their hand in marriage, i love filling up my word count with quotes that explain my point so i don’t have to and they make me look so well read too, we shall have a spring wedding my love

#i loathe going ‘this person said this’ and just pharaphrasing when i can use a quote instead it’s quicker and easier and explains the point #better - i will go ‘this person thought this’ if it’s explaining more of an overarching idea or theory but for something that can be told #in a quote? baby it’s going in there #i just split one long quote in 3 parts and sprinkled it in my thesis because i wanted to use it all and in there and god i love that for me #i am also currently dying over this don’t get me wrong #i’ve had debilitating headaches for the last week writing this because i decided i could write the entire thing and do most of the research #in like a week :/// i’ve come to the conclusion my hubris got the better of me and this is in fact not comparable to any other paper i’ve #written for uni it just isn’t #anyways i have 7k och my minimum 10k word count and my deadline is friday at 5pm so wish me luck #im hoping i get it done tonight and then tomorrow i can do edits and email my professor and ask if i actually can still turn it in even tho #i missed turning it into my advisor last friday #i was not made for uni i wasn’t but for now i keep trying #the worst part is i actually do find all this so interesting i just hate the restrictions and rules i have to follow #dels endless rambles

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castielafflicted · 9 months

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distinct possibility that things are going to start to get very bad for me in a few days because of medication reasons </3

#zeph posting #my birth control refill got denied bc i hadnt had an appointment in too long but i had no idea about that ahead of time #and i just took my last dose #i scheduled an appointment and the guy says they probably will do another refill since its a few weeks out #but! its not a sure thing #and i wont know until at the latest thursday #and so !#this is the thing that keeps my mental health stable even moreso than the mood stabalizer #and also makes sure my physical health doesnt get horrifically worse for like 10 days a month #over 10 bc i have to recover too #so ill either be fine! or have to wait until like january 15th before i feel okay again #this is very bad to happen at christmas bc i have to be around people and do things #so i just. god if they dont give me a refill #if u see me say im posting from the ER after christmas its bc i dont have them and got suicidal </3

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dapper-nahrwhale · 1 year

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Hmmm. Having a predicament and I am curious to see what I should do cuz like:

So one of my players will not be available to play in the next session of our fairy tale ttrpg game. Not a big problem, but we have had this planned for weeks as it was one of the only times all 6 people are avalible to play. Now, we could just catch them up later.

But last session I thought it was about time to reveal some big plot things to the players (ie their world is not real, they are characters in a book, the world has just been destroyed and now they have to figure out what to do next as a group, they believe everyone they know to be dead, they arent but they dont know that yet, there are wars going on abt things they dont even know abt yet). And we couldn't play the week after the big stuff, so now we can finally play.

But I dont want to leave anyone out of these big things, as I am going to be revealing even more stuff abt how the world works now and going thru some individual character story arcs with them. I could just put off doing those things till later, not that big a problem usually. But I have also been doing that since the very first session.

And also everyone is really really eager and wanting to play again, and this is not the first time someone has had to miss a game, actually we havent had all 6 players there for a session together since the first one, and that was 5 months ago. Every other time I put off revealing the big things, but now I already did, and cant really put any more filler in it for them (and last session when the world got destroyed, I had anticipated all players to be there, and 2 couldn't make it at the last minute and I went through with my plans anyways, and caught up the others later in individual sessions. And that worked out well enough, it was just alot to do, and now that things are more serious I anticipate ill be doing that for everyone who misses a session, because things are going to be moving at a much faster pace now.)

And I am also very very tired of planning out things for them, and then having half the players be there, and having to come up with new things and not being able to continue or create any bigger plot points, and now seeing as we are in the bigger plot things going on, I kinda really would like everyone to be there from now on. But also. I do not anticipate being able to get everyone there for any session, as it has been an impossible feat for the entire campaign.

I AM going to be consulting with the group to see what they would like to do as a whole, but you know. I am curious to see what other people would do tbh.

#im just. so sick of having people miss sessions. idk if i should just start rescheduling it.#but. if we start rescheduling it every time someone will miss a session. then we wont play again.#because seruously we havent had the full group there since session 0. work schedules always get in the way. but this time isnt a work thing.#b.text #just.... aghk. i cant move on with any plot things that involve all players to be present because we have never had all of them there.#>:((((( frustrating. you see my predicament now #is this partially me venting abt this? maybe so. because i am just. so sick of this hapoening every single time.#every single session i anticipate all players there. and it doesnt happen #and i have to rewrite my plans last minute. and now its even more serious because missing a game now #when like. i am finally getting to the parts i have been planning to get to since we came up with the game idea. its just soooo.#aghk.#this a frustrating thing to happen every once in a while. and it happens evry single week #this is also my first gamethat has lasted longer than like. 3 sessions #fun fact! i have never been part of a campaign thats lasted this long #allof them fall aprt after the first few sessions due to ta da scheduling!!!!!#afgghhhggg. very tired of this thing. i was gonna have them all go thru the stories they came from #and figure out some stuff. then the war between the ink and eraser. and that its really abt following ypur destiny with no agency #and destorying the very fact destiny exists by erasing everything. and more meta stuff like that.#its very ever after high inspired tbh..#tbh this whole thing really makes me feel as though they dont get how much work i put into these things for them to have fun and they do #i just. do not have fun with it very much. i want to get to the big plot meta destiny book fairy tale things so bad!#and every time i plan stuff. i cant do it cuz people are missing. so. like. aghaak.#the most the players will engage with the story and plot is like. to date npcs. which idc abt doing at all. but #that is ALL we have been doing. well that and like. pther stuff idk im jist so annoyed abt this aaa.#like. they just dont remember most of the plot stuff thats happened. or they will literally walk away from the game to do other stuff #the moment its not abt their character they stop listening. or theyre playing video games while playing this game.#and they dont remember the whole session. like. agh. i just want to get to the fun part.#alao it just started storming really scary bad so.#ok im doneeeee. fine #i really love this game so i dont want to not play it but. dam is it annoying every week. and im tired of is so.

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spaceaudio · 1 year

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boston2 anniversary is kind of crazy

#kind of was the start of the worst miserable downfall of my entire life #but also was kind of the only surface break in a full year of drowning #so mixed feelings bc i feel like were it not for the post concert crash i feel like my sophomore slump would’ve been much better #but in a way if i hadn’t had mcr or boston2 that year i would have probably died #i was shocked when i saw it had been a year #bc i feel like that felt so far into the school year and my depression last year #and this year it’s only the first week of school!#but emotionally it feels like it’s been 2 or 3 years #like my soul has aged like 5 years since then #i am making no sense bc im high but idk i feel like i need to commemorate it #one of the saddest and most special moments of my life and triggered so much feeling in me #like i was the weirdest worst person in the world for not fitting there or here #it sounds like im ragging on it but i really needed the change in my worldview and my thought about my place in the world and at harvard #it was my lifesaver. it was the best day of my life last year. it was the first and last time I felt beautiful in 2022 #my hair is like that again after a year of growing out. I feel like I’ve completed a cycle & a rebirth or something since then #and famous last words was a religious experience to me that I assume is how a born again feels in a Baptist tent #thank you for being there those of you who went you have no idea how much you changed my life

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truckstoptigers · 1 year

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you know how ppl suggest going outside for a little bit to help w like. mental health? when you feel too cooped up/like you need to do smth but you don't have much energy?

turns out going outside doesn't suck as much as it used to!! I have not spent this much time outside since before I was 13 & I can finally enjoy it again!!!!

#i fucking love it out here dude i got a nice chair + blankie & everything!!#trying to focus on the positives yknow #i woke up & like. threw up everything i ate last night so 🙃 cool!!!!!!!#my gag reflex has always been sensitive but its to the point where i cant finish a meal and. like. i have no idea what to do!!!!!#but! positives: i dont feel nauseous anymore & i got to try the new hybrid cart i got yesterday (headband strain)#i think i like it tbh. i usually go for indicas but this is rlly nice. also got granddaddy purple which is. WONDERful #tastes & smells so good which like!! surprised me!! never had one that smelled/tasted genuinely sweet #these things can also last me weeks so like. big plus #alsoooo little victories! my mental health is. eh. but! i drank a whole bottle of water yesterday & am making good progress on one rn!!#i cannot tell you the last time i drank water like this. & no that is Not a good thing + i am aware it isnt #im also sick rn and water is very very soothing bc i have a lovely hacking cough so. feeling good abt water <3 #excuse me as you can probably tell i am a Little high #im having a good time rn

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orcelito · 1 year

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genuinely tho me jumping right into reading volume 9 of trimax and then volume 10 (and then most of the rest of the manga) on the night before i had a presentation at 9:30 am (that was entirely not prepared) was literally one of the most unhinged decisions ive ever made

this is what a hyperfixation does to a person

#speculation nation #like that experience was transcendent. i will NEVER be repeating it again but it sure was something #crying 5 times in a night chugging my monster perusing the wolfwood tag tearfully as i listen to the same sad song on repeat for an hour #struggling to get myself to work on the presentation but continuously going back to the manga bc it was SOOO GOOOD #me being like 'im gonna need a few days to process and heal' after reading volume 10 but then after an hour just. starting reading more.#gettign only 2 hours of sleep bc i was like 'ok i need to recover from crying Five Times and then i will focus entirely on this'#literally what is wrong with me lmfao. this sure was something.#this was literally just last week. i can hardly believe it.#this happened on tuesday/wednesday. i spent wednesday recovering. then on thursday i was like 'ok time to write'#there was hardly ANY wait time before i jumped into my next writing project #bc i had the idea after volume 10 but waited until i finished the manga to see where would be the best time to implement it #& that shit with the plants was the PERFECT time. i knew as soon as it happened that That was what i was gonna use.#wrote chapter 1 within a day (while working) then chapter 2 within a day (while working)#then chapter 3 within 2 days (while working AND doing family stuff)#guys i havent had a proper day off of work in over a week bc i covered on tuesday and came in on wednesday and covered on sunday #uhm. sunday before yesterday. i think my last day off was actually uh. the thursday before? a week and a half ago.#and im not getting a day off until thursday. two whole goddamned weeks. i am having a fucking time for sure.#and what do you know that coincides with The Time. oh i dont think it was even thursday. when the fuck was my last day off #uhmmm. oh haha it was that tuesday. aka the 18th. i havent had a goddamned day off since the 18th.#head in my hands. i am losing my fucking mind.#literally unhinged. and it makes sooo much sense now lmfao.

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loverboybitch · 2 years

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hi i would just like to report that getting out of my house and being a member of society is cool and kind of rules even when its scary yeah.//.

#uploads #imjustsittinghere #meeting this at work like actually went well it was really chill and cool to see everyone #like yeah i did embarrass myself trying to introduce myself wehn we all went around idk i got like really anxious halfway thru #talking and sortve just mumbled off the end of my intro but it wasnt so bad i think #at least had good chats with like two people ive only sort of met online and they were nice so : )#literally forgot how nice it was jus to be around other people and do work and stuff its cool. we all had to get new laptops #and were just hanging around the IT station waiting and chatting and i felt a littel more whole than i have been #oddly feeling restored instead of drained and feeling better than i have been the last couple weeks #no idea how long it will last but we can treasure the joy for now #ordered some books i wanted and a bunch of new yarn #plus my new hoodie is finally supposed to get here tomorrow so im pumped : )#still missing alot and a little lonely but ya know what else is new #thank u to everyone for not making fun of me for being vulnerable on my ig story i had to get it out #n truly i really just was like this is stuff i post and say on tumblr anyway why not be a lil open about my feels to my close friends #smtimes its good to be a lil vulnerable even if its scary #very much love <3 :*#oh and also jsut on==unrealted #but i hate that i look better with a fresh clean shaven face cause shaving is so annyoing lol #like i really do look way more cute and handsome i just cannot be fucked to shave more than once a week really or even that often #keep thinking like i should get laser hair removal on my face but no that is far too permenant #what if i look handsome with a beard when im older #but for now i need to toggle that shit off like a video game character i swear #anyway <3 very sleepy just finishing work have a big day of recceving packages and sewing with my friend later #kiss kiss xx

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chapst1ckmcdyke · 2 years

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Im rlly sorry i havent been active here but i actually just went through a medically traumatic shit show and moving at the same time and starting a new job in a new city and im only about 30% of my usual capacity so if you are in my DMs i love you just gimme a bit longer ❤️

#i dropped about 10-20 lbs in the past 3 weeks #my underwear doesnt even fit the same #i ate 3 meals for the first time in 3 weeks yesterday #before that the most i had was apple sauce and a granola bar #followed by 4-6 hours of intense puking a day #AND i moved #AND i had to drive myself to the ER 3 seperate times #its such a blurr i have no idea how i got through that #now im just recovering and dealing with the side effects of literal weeks of starvation #this is why i dont like living alone #but my friends helped me move and checked in which is such a nice feeling compared to being isolated in my last city #personal #i probably should have been hospitalized lol

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smartichokes · 5 months

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i give up on trying to get this assignment done before class lol. shooting for next week

#babbling #im not even sure if we have class next week lmfao #its finals week next week and two of my classes arent meeting because there is no final #and this class also doesnt have a final but its a different thing all together #so we might meet one last time #especially since the instructor is retiring after this semester #no matter what i had to have passed the class #but omg im so uninspired lol #its poetry and shit and like i have building block ideas but idk how to make it poetic #ive done 3 really cool pieces but this one just isnt vibing with my brain #its about LOVE like wtf ive never been in love and i dont really plan to so im just really uninspired lmao

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