#I hate my dad so much

[hotvampireadjacent]

i have a bad habit of coming out to people I dont like bc who cares if they dont like me but got blindsided by my supposed supportive dad just letting his shitty friend disrepect me in my own damn house and telling me to just go to my room LMAO for being misgendered and then called inhuman.

[evansbby]

.

[yyuuraii]

opening commissions again soon im going to start crying

[joan-of-feminism]

My dad just hired my sis to work for him and is paying her less than a guy who works in the same position with no degree when she literally has a bachelors degree. I’m trying to convince her to not sign the contract and to find a job that will pay her what she deserves. My dad’s company is also such a boys club and all the employees have an inside joke which is just sexual harassment where they hide a picture of a p*nis around the office to ‘prank’ each other. They did it to a 21 year old female intern last year and she complained to HR but naturally they did nothing and my dad told her she needs to lighten up and that she’s now ‘part of the family’ now that she’s been victim to their harassment. They also did it to an intern who was still a minor. And while we’re still on the topic, he even admitted to me one time that he pays his female employees less if he knows they have a husband who works, because why would a woman need to make that much money if she has a husband who can do that for her 🙃🙃🙃

[sad-tater-tot]

My dad pretty much just told me “ you hurt my feelings yesterday when you told me to be nice. you cut me so bad, like a knife. but symbolically, not like the real knife i pulled on you. I cried all night, warm in my bed, feeling so bad for myself after I kicked you out to sleep on the streets in the middle of the pouring rain storm. poor me, no one suffered more than me in this family. please don’t ever talk to me again like you did yesterday when you told me maybe i should be nice. i don’t want to have to be the good guy again and teach you a lesson.”

[kyuzuberri]

.

[fagdykemuppet]

im going to peel my skin off aahhh Ahhhhhhhhhh

[alittleannihilati0n]

I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him

[alittlechembreak]

mom dropped me back off at home so my mood has already tanked. this is fine.

[g1-skywarp]

currently in my room hiding 👍

[bigbadbearthoughts]

On Maleness, Masculinity, and my father.

CONTENT WARNING: I am going to be discussing full scale abuse of men by men on this blog, paternal or otherwise. I am also very foul mouthed. A lot of these posts are going to be venting my toxicity and feelings into the void. I will avoid ‘phobic, sanist and ableist language unless emphasis is needed for something I personally went through.

Intended target of post: Cis men like myself, with more daddy issues than we can count even if we take our shoes off.

It’s a cycle. We hurt because others hold us to some arbitrary and unattainable standard of traditional masculinity.

Then we hurt others. Toxic Masculinity hurts *us*, and we turn around and hurt others because of it.

I’ve been spiraling the past few weeks. Mind a-swirling with thoughts I had no idea how to get out of my braincase, I sit here at 12:22 AM (at the time of writing this) thinking about why, and then it hit me like a ton of bricks falling off the back of a dump truck.

It’s my father. It always comes back to my fucking father. Lowercase f father, he doesn’t deserve a capital f. It’s a goddamn compulsion, even at 33 years old, having not even seen him in person since I was 16. Every time I achieve anything I start having panic attacks wondering if he’d approve of it. Sitting here at half past fuckin’ midnight with a diet doctor pepper, in my pajamas, at my computer while my dog looks at me like I need help because I’m not in bed... I had the epiphany about half an hour ago.

Fuck ‘im. No, seriously, I’m sitting here in the dark at half past midnight to scream into the void “Fuck my dad sideways with a rake.”

I’m a pansexual man in a polyamorous relationship. I have an any/all boyfriend and a she/they girlfriend I would fucking die for. Straight up would fight to the death at the drop of a hat for either of them, which is another bout of toxic maleness in and of itself.

I’m surrounded by a diverse group of friends who can rely on me to be emotionally available, and I can rely on them for the same thing, provided any of us are up for it at any given time.

But I’m happy. I’m happier than I ever have been. I’m *healing* from all the emotional bullshit he’s still putting me through despite probably not even remembering my name.

But I figure if he’s gonna live rent free in my head, I’ll tell some stories of how he was and how he treated me. Talk a bit about masculinity and what it means to me, and how relying on other people to define your own relationship to masculinity is a mistake that almost killed me, literally, more than once.

Hopefully something in here helps other cis dudes, even if it’s not the end goal. This is going to be full on toxic venting from a quarter-bit Vtuber who makes no bones about being toxic and trying not to be. I’m workin’ on it. My counselor said I should journal it.

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

all the rise boys get done dirty on characterization by fandom in different ways i think. (not ALL the time every fanwork etc etc these are just like, trends i tend to notice?) every fandom suffers from losing character nuance.

- leo i’ve talked about plenty on this blog, how some of his canon traits (genuine belief in his skill and cockiness, capacity for joy, his manipulativeness whether for good or ill) seem to get watered down or wiped off the board and supplemented with generic sad boy. his struggles with purpose and identity and not wanting to fail somehow morph into “he hates and completely holds no value for himself”

- donnie’s canon personality gets blurred out and largely replaced with whatever list of Neurodivergent Traits. and i think there’s such a fine line to walk between exploring a character that’s been word of god confirmed as on the spectrum and overwriting what’s canonically there. it’s a hard needle to thread. it also feels like a lot of his canon emotiveness gets left off the table for some reason. bc he does have his moments of flat/deadpan delivery, but a lot of the time he’s honestly very emotive. he has the passion of a theatre kid and the vindictiveness of... also a theatre kid. and the mind of a scientist.

- raph loses so much of his rowdy teen boy energy it’s kind of wild? like interpretations sand off that he’s also impulsive and can be reckless and dumb and LOVES fighting and roughhousing and isn’t the most eloquent person. suddenly there’s this pitch perfect soft boy big bro who would never hurt a fly and always says the exact right supportive thing and singlehandedly raised his 3 brothers (which simultaneously sands off all the nuance of splinter’s issues emotionally connecting with his sons and how that affected all of them). and like i LOVE raph, he’s so full of love and care and anxiety, he clearly has learned to put a lot of work into being aware of his strength and size. but there’s a difference you know?

- mikey is like. where raph gets overparentified by fanon, mikey gets over “family therapist”-ed IMO. the impulsiveness, the goofiness, the powerful emotions including a VERY powerful temper, the flat-out dumb teen boy choices... they get ignored. suddenly there’s this only very sweet and earnest boy who has read a hundred psychology books and runs group family therapy weekly or something. he is crying in his room bc leo and raph are arguing about something. which is so. he IS very sweet and can be very earnest and is full of love! he HAS come in with his opinions and unsolicited advice a couple of times and life coached for the greater good. but there’s a difference between what he does in canon and the role he gets in fanon.

[bernard-the-rabbit]

Bumi II with his fav uncle Sokka

[ID found by clicking alt on the piece]

[dimeadozencows]

I have endured what no one on earth has ever done before

I put my lips to the hands of the man who killed my son

[a2zillustration]

I carried this thing for MONTHS with the EXPRESS PURPOSE of putting Raphael in it (knowing full well Larian wouldn't let me do that, mechanically) and I had one major miscalculation.

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