#I hate to bring harm to my blorbo but just imagine it

[handmemyshovel]

imagine: horatio, stuck in a never-ending play.

the first go around it’s normal. he doesn’t realize he is in a play, this is just life as it always is. he is coming from college to see his friend and his father’s funeral. but horatio notices the chaos that seems almost staged. but he doesn’t think too much of anything unusual, this is life as it always is! just… chaotic. sad. a friend in pain but what can he do about it? thinking of it… maybe he brought his own friend into this madness, into his death. and as fortinbras steps in and the stage goes dark, horatio is suddenly swept back in time. back to that night.

it’s the second play, but horatio doesn’t know it. he looks at bernardo and marcellus, wondering how he got here. notices how they repeat the exact words that happened nights ago, horatio responds with what seems natural. he says the same things too. and it all repeats. horatio is filled with fear and confusion as it all repeats itself. he tries to piece things together. if all this is happening does that mean hamlet will appear again too? back from the dead? he suggests letting hamlet speak to the ghost and marcellus and bernardo don’t mention anything of the prince’s death. he is still alive then? was it all just a horrible dream? but if it was, why are things going exactly like what happened in that nightmare? why is horatio’s one best friend lying dead in his arms again? why is no one doing anything to stop this? in his confusion he only plays along, unable to comprehend what is happening around him.

until he is taken to that night again. on the spot horatio almost breaks into tears. god, why is he here again? take him away from this nightmare. but there he stays. this time he decides to pay more attention to what’s happening. he makes sure that everything is as remembered, and it is.

he pieces things together in his mind. he realizes that between scenes he would be on stage he has an extremely fuzzy memory of what happened. he realizes that when he tries to say something different than what his head tells him to it doesn’t come out. he can only say what is written. sure, he can change the tone, he can delay the line, but he always says it. another thing he can do is change his actions — as long as it doesn’t mess with how the play is being acted out as it causes him quite literal pain to do so. he does those things as much as he can. he delays lines, tries to say certain lines as if he doesn’t mean them. (e.g. he suggests hamlet speaks to the ghost in a sarcastic or unconvincing manner, gets on his knees begging and clinging onto hamlet for him not to speak to the ghost/duel laertes) another thing horatio makes sure to do is take every word hamlet speaks in. he’s heard it all multiple times now, but it means something, it means something. the words hamlet says to him before his death. horatio knows what’s to come, so why not make the good parts better?

the fourth go around, horatio tries the hardest he can to change what is happening around him. he’s in the flow now and trying to get out of it. it’s his primary goal. but the more he tries, the more he seems to be going mad with hamlet, and ophelia, and about everyone else.

and nothing is changed, not the fourth, the fifth, the sixth go around. hours and hours of the same thing, horatio can’t take it. no one could possibly take it. as hamlet speaks of the longing of death, horatio now understands and agrees. but of course, he could never say that to hamlet, he must encourage him, even if nothing is changed in the effort.

but in the seventh play horatio gives up in trying to change things. he says each line emotionless. his energy in every action is drained. he can’t take it anymore, he simply can’t. whenever he sees hamlet, he is attached to him like a leech. he can’t let go of the man. every time hamlet talks of death he weeps onto him, every line horatio delivers filled with tears, and what does it matter? nothing is changed.

finally, finally, on the eighth play horatio gives up. entirely. he delays each line as much as possible, pursing his lips until his own body forces the words out breathlessly, denying an action until the overwhelming pain of doing so, too, forces him to do it. under his breath he will mumble the lines of others that he now has memorized from the endless times he has already heard them. every death brings him sobbing, collapsing on the floor. he’ll think: “it must be my fault, i always bring hamlet to the ghost, i always bring him in the picture. i make him mad, but i can’t do otherwise, i can’t. and all this harm… i cannot get away from it, i just want away from it. i just want happiness again. for hamlet, for me, for us all.” horatio knows at this point that no matter how hard he tries, nothing will change. and if he doesn’t take action, he’ll be stuck in this hell forever. so, when it comes to the last scene, he knows what he must do.

hamlet is begging in his arms for horatio to tell his story, but horatio can’t do that. he can’t. it’s a horrible way to go out, denying the dying wish of his love, but he can’t do otherwise. he has already tried to change things and he can’t take it anymore. he drinks the poison. and in doing so there is so much pain. the pain of rejecting the play’s reality. but he ignores the aching he has in every muscle, in his head, everything feeling like it’s about to explode. he ignores it. and he drinks the poison. he ends the play. he doesn’t tell the story. horatio finally gets his rest. and, god, he deserves it.

[she-likesorchids]

2024 Housekeeping

Happy New Year friends!

I have some exciting things in the works for y'all, and one of those includes the conclusion of Cadence! Every day I wake up and have new notifications on that fic here and on AO3 bring a smile to my face! I never expected a silly little idea would go so far, but I'm glad for it!

But, since some new things are coming, I have decided to say goodbye to a few fics as well.

First Do No Harm: I hate to say goodbye to Paramedic!Frank Castle, but sadly he left me. But don't worry! I'm actually going to be re-working it into a new story with Frank as a counselor at the VA. So, be on the lookout for that.

Golden Hour: Okay, so Photography Professor!Peter Parker isn't going away completely! I will be re-writing this as an OC fic instead of a reader insert because I have fleshed out a character that I just CAN NOT wait to introduce to y'all. You will love her, I promise!

Imagine Being Loved By Me: While the premise was sexy, I just can't bring myself to continue a fic that's based on infidelity. I can't do that to my darling Michael Kinsella, because a certain pharmacist already did that to him. I'd rather give him a happy ending.

I'm going to be making a little "Coming Soon" post with an ambitious new fic for a new fandom soon. That's right, we're adding more blorbos to the masterlist!

So, out with the old and in with the new! Let's have some adventures this year!

[pianostarinwonderland]

Could you do character option bingo for the octotrio

[From here!]

Jade’s can be found here! Azul will be saved for last, so this will just be Floyd.

Floyd

Ah Floyd, the first Octavinelle character I liked but now my “least” favorite in Octavinelle. 💃 I didn’t like Floyd to the point I’d say I stanned him, but I found him cute before Jade and Azul ever appealed to me. In fact, until now, Floyd has the most 'blorbo' energy to me because he's cute. Idk how to describe it really 😂 but that silly grin makes me want to punt him into a wall then hear him laugh out loud, idk. But either way, that Floyd era was short lived, and I started stanning Jade a week after I liked Floyd. XD So my Octa bias journey really went Floyd -> Jade -> Azul.

Still, I like Floyd. His mood swings may be hard to predict, but he’s living for himself. I admire that he doesn't really care much about how others think of him. He's living according to his own rules, he's following orders when he thinks that it will result in something fun, and if something bores him and the end result of that something would be boring, he won't do it. That takes courage, to do things for yourself without caring about what others think. There should be respect for others, of course, but at the same time, I love that Floyd can just do what he wants to do without worrying about people's judgment.

If he wants to achieve something, he can and will put his mind to it. I think that detail made Floyd cool in my eyes for the first time. Imagining him walking with such an easy yet confident gait beside Epel in his beans day card, talking about practicing basketball for three days straight like he’s pointing out the weather, he was more than the laughing moody eel I was familiar with.

Something that I do notice in the fandom is how Floyd is infantilized or seen as "cute boy who can do no wrong". I've seen people think that Floyd's squeezes are just adorable hugs, and a lot of people have called Floyd "dumb".

To an extent, I can sort of agree to Floyd being "cute boy who can do no wrong", but only in relation to the Octavinelle trio. Floyd is an honest guy. He isn't really into all the trickery and such. Now, he isn't honesty's paragon or what, but you don't have to think too hard when you're talking with him, and as long as you manage to entertain him or don't outright offend him, you're gonna be fine. Jade and Azul on the other hand... 🤡 you can get your mind fucked with those two, and it's not sexy.

But at the same time, Floyd isn't really the most merciful kind of guy either, and he is intimidating for a reason. Don't forget the beginning of chapter 3—he squeezed the poor mob student when Azul told him to, and the guy collapsed. Floyd can inflict harm, and he isn't going to be sorry about it, especially when it brings him entertainment.

Floyd is in that weird space between "I think they're deeper than what they seem to be" and "not as deep as they seem". I'm still on that detail about Floyd not liking the feeling of being restrained 👁👄👁 and combined with the name of his UM being called "Bind the Heart", it just makes me want to know if there was anything in his life that happened that made him hate restraints, that influenced his current behavior to be so liberating, that made his magic bounce magic away from him, like he's refusing to be hit or even captured by something. And is he hiding a part of himself that's got emotional baggage? Sometimes I wonder that because man, what if he's the type of guy who just forgets about his pain most of the time until one day, it all just comes down on him? I tend to live like that, and when my heart hurts that day, it hurts.

But on the other hand, I like to think that Floyd is also just vibing. He's gone through his character development, he's semi realized and in a secure place with himself for the time being, and he can be this cool senior who will stop at nothing to be on the top.