#I hate uploading art without a scanner

[forel-in-the-river]

first picture Holly just edgy, second edgy and sad

[tehuti88-photos]

Dumb Photos

UGH all I did was rotate my screen to keep typing and it erased my post? Without even asking to save?? Great function, Tumblr. 🙄

Starting AGAIN...hello, this is indeed the same account behind tehuti88 and tehuti88-art. I decided it's time for a photography blog. A long time back I tried blogging a few of my photos on my main blog (via Flickr) but fizzled out. Since I'm way behind on Flickr, and don't want to glut my main blog with my own (admittedly not high-quality) pics, a new blog seemed best. I'll try uploading straight here and see how it goes and if I have the motivation to keep at it, considering my blogs are pretty invisible and I'm lucky if I get maybe one like every couple of weeks or so.

For now I'll be sticking to digital photos, since my scans date back to when I had a poor scanner and saved things at too poor a quality (memory on computers was MUCH lower back then) and they just suck. Aside from rotating and possibly resizing/compressing or whatever, my pics should be uploaded as is. I'd like to edit/tweak for contrast and saturation and all, but I like to use the same settings on everything, which isn't feasible with photos of varying quality, plus it's time and memory consuming and I have no photo software of my own, PLUS I went through a phase of over-editing my photos and don't want to do that again. And I just hate losing metadata although it's not always accurate on my pics which have migrated from computer to computer over the years. Oh--and with possible rare exceptions (mostly photos of people, or identifying details), I don't cull my pics and post only the best, since I can't choose.

So...prepare for lots of similar, mediocre pics. If I work up the motivation to upload them.

Nobody'll take me up on this but FEEL FREE TO REBLOG*, JUST LEAVE CAPTIONS INTACT! And thanks.

*Unless you have a blog full of hateful stuff...I know I can't stop you, but I'd rather not have my work associated with such things, and I bet you wouldn't want my stuff in your blog, either. What do I consider hateful? I admit I've grown more narrowminded over the past two years. Basically I mean far-right blogs. If you're not sure what I mean by "far right," you probably don't belong here already. Just imagine I'm a bleeding-heart special snowflake leftist radical socialist liberal Antifa member. I'm not half those things but if you're the type of blog I don't want to associate with, you'll think I am those things. Anyway, please avoid interacting with me and I'll avoid you and we should be fine.

[thanatosrising]

2017 was a really tough year for me, more so than most. It's not that anything bad in particular happened, and in truth I was already in a bad place mentally before 2017 even started, but I really downward spiraled this year. I ended up going on medications for anxiety & depression. The medication so far has been barely enough to keep my stable. I still have a very low mood, am very anxious, and often wake up with panic attacks. Sometimes I get the urge to stab myself in the throat or slam my head in the wall. But I'm stable, and plan to go for CBT in the new year, so hopefully next year will be better.

In the meantime, I've decided to stop doing commissions for the time being and focus on my own stuff. I'm hoping that without the pressure of commissions, I'll enjoy drawing more and will be able to do more. I was planning to keep doing Gaia art auctions, but I think after this last one, I'll be stopping that as well. Depending on how my treatment goes, I may reopen them later in 2018, or perhaps I'll find different styles or methods of taking commissions that aren't quite as stressful. Right now, though, I just want to be in a place where I don't feel burned out.

Anyway, here are the pictures I chose for 2017's year in review:

►01. Mugshot - Thanatos: This was (is) intended to be part of a set of Welcome to Paradise illustrations I have planned, though so far I've only finished up 2 of them. ►02. Crimson & Clover: I drew this because I had the song stuck stuck in my head, but more than that, I really like the way the two words sound together. It doesn't really have much relation to the song, other than being inspired by the name itself.  Qi'nah is crimson and Sky is clover.   ►03. Exhale: This is part of a set of pictures (Void, which I drew last year, is part of the set) themed around depression. I still have a third picture I want to draw for part of this series, that I haven't gotten around to yet. ►04. Mugshot - Jocelyn: Second in the mugshot series. I actually really like how this one came out. It's really rare for me to not find any issue with a picture I draw, I usually hate it a week after I finish (assuming I don't hate it halfway through working on it). If all my pictures could come out like this, I'd be happy. ►05. Kikue: This was a Gaia Online commission. I always worry over commissions far more than non-commission art. Every time I do it, I'm convinced that client is going to end up hating it. You'd think I'd get used to it, but nope. ►06. Cyclone: I really like red/blue/white popsicles, so that was the inspiration at this. I also wanted to practice drawing erotic faces/expressions, so that's why it's a cyclone instead of a rocket or bomb pop. I really want to get into drawing erotic art more. Maybe the free time from not taking commissions will give me some time to practise. ►07. Muir: A RLC commission this time. I don't get the chance to do anime screenshot styled artwork, so this was a nice change of pace. I worried a lot about this one, because the character looked a bit older than the usual age I draw, but overall I'm pleased with how his face came out. This was the first time I tried using my Figma He as a reference. ►08. Room 327: A Gaia Online auction winner. I used my S.H.Figuarts Body-chan as a reference this time. The client requested a lot of fixes, so I'm pretty insecure about this one, in truth. ►09. Aisu: A RLC, another commission where the client requested a bunch of changes, so this one is another one I'm insecure about. Drawing animals is always hard for me, but that's what photo referencing is for! ►10. Sword: October was Inktober, so all the pictures were traditional! It was actually quite refreshing working traditionally, and I feel like I created a lot of fun pieces while I was doing that. I purchased a scanner on Black Friday, so next year I'll have proper scans instead of photos. I also plan on uploading high-res scans of this years pieces to my Patreon subscribers, so look forward to that! ►11. Rhys: Inktober ran into November for me, but I did manage to finish one commission, a Gaia Online auction winner. The client bid quite a lot, so I was really stressed out over it, thinking that I wouldn't be able to live up to it. (You'll notice with commissions my brain finds any excuse to get worried.) I do like how it came out in the end, though, and the client used it in their signature, so I assume they must like it a lot too lol ►12. Ornamental (Part 1): This is a Christmas gift for my mom. Nao was my main OC when I was a teenager, so she's my Mom's favourite OC. It's the one she associates most with me, I guess, so whenever I do gift art for her, it always has to be Nao. As you can infer from the title, I plan on drawing a companion piece (a gift for my roommate), but I don't think I'll finish in time for Christmas.

[tanricksfanficks]

Void S

Dying is always the easiest part. It happens fast. It's not without sensation and yet formless in feeling. If your senses allow, feel your self stretched thin in every direction yet compressed unable  to grasp at anything. When it happens you probably wont know it even did, that is unless you are a capsuleer. Waking up. This is everything I fear. More than the entropy that will consume all those I love, more than facing the contents of my wallet, more than being stranded in space and dying of hunger. First comes the light, it is radiant beyond measure. All at once you become conscious of everything you have ever known downloaded from countless clones who all met the same fate. Ten million neurons firing all at once forming every emotional pattern, every muscle memory, and every single nerve connection simultaneously. No pain can compare to this, or so I thought.

I was stolen at some point, as it was customary for all capsuleers, and for the most part so were any memories of my youth. They insisted during pre-op that it was “necessary to make room”. The concept, as it was told to me at the academy, is that the conscious mind is anchored at a specific frequency and can be copied through several layers of scanning. A small tool that acts as a catalyst is implanted to transmit this information. During the time they have you under they upload what amounts to a collection of electrical impulses and variables that make up who you are to a database and erase what the deem “unnecessary”

Becoming a capsuleer is no accident.  The selection process is a combination of biological compatibility that is determined at birth and progress closely monitored by whatever corporation you happen to belong to. No one person is truly free, though agents and capsuleers are thought to be the most open ended professions. This is only true in part. While after your training is complete you are ultimately left to do what you would like, without our shared cooperation and influence in this vast waste it would slowly wilt away. These are things they look for during schooling and on your tests. They force you into situations with candidates doomed to fail and see how far you can take them. Despite definite hierarchies among the corporation we are all trained to be leaders. They test the boundaries of our resourcefulness constantly and stretch our creative focus.   

Your final test is a state of the art simulation. You are not given warning. This is the first time you understand the control they have over your consciousness. One moment you could be in class, or in a bed, or even on the toilet. The very next moment, the only thing you are aware of is an impending sense of urgency and the sounds of a commander hailing you. After finishing their menial tasks and showing you can operate under extreme duress they let you dock at home for the first time and the simulated scientist you rescue gives you some information regarding your results and provide you with a list of agents. While I have only heard stories, this test is rumored to be used in every system for its efficacy. For reasons not understood they cant seem to wipe out your demeanor. I'm still not sure how someone as lazy as I am made it here. My name is Nifahn and this is my story. 

1.Cash Flow For Capsoleer's

BROADCAST: WARP TO LUCIAN ENGLEWIND WITHIN 0 KM. Roaring into every com-channel the moment had finally come. I reacted instinctively and aligned to the last read coordinates with only a 10 second delay. '9.9 AU TILL BUBBLE COLLAPSE'  Aura read out in her familiar calming voice. Before my scanners and hull could compensate for the loss of momentum I felt the familiar shudder move through my hull my pod and my organs.  An Interdictor. Far too late for me to change course I frantically signaled the remaining fleet members coordinates outside of the Interdictor's bubble range before we all met the same fate. Interdictor's are built for one purpose; stopping you where you are and preventing you from warping at a much greater range and efficiency than traditional warp scramblers. I knew quickly after coughing up blood that this clone wouldn't last the day and if we were going to survive someone would take the fall. 'Inevitably' I thought as I flipped on my after burner and aligned for the Interdictor and readied my guns.

Just as I was confident in the necessity for sacrifice to save Lucian's MACH V- Thrasher, I felt an immense yet comforting shadow. Melkezedech's raven nearly eclipsed the small star behind me and without even glancing at my scanners I recognized the torpedoes flying past my own ship and crashing into our new friend. “ Now this is a party bois” I heard called over the Fleet-Com. Scopio in his usual fashion finally decided to join and warped directly into the interdiction bubble undoubtedly killing him instantly as his clone did not respond or even attempt to eject before he got caught in the crossfire and his ship was turned to ribbons. BROADCAST: TARGET: ENDER WIGGING. “YEAH IM ON IT” I yelled into Fleet-Com in response to Lucian's broadcast. My scanners finally compensating for the anomaly brought up details on all of the targets I was able to scan within range. “REMOTE REPS ON LUCIAN” I called out realizing how little time we really had when suddenly the worst happened. My scanner started to acknowledge the ever growing number of signatures in the surrounding area “AMBUSH!!!!!!” I bellowed into Fleet-Com. As if in response ships of varying sizes and quality started uncloaking as a unit and hell was upon us. “A Gallente naval fleet this deep in Caldari space?” Melkezedech said trembling. “This could only mean one thing Fleet Commander Lucian” I called out knowing what we all were afraid to say. The treaty was broken, and we were at war.

After an eternity that was only a matter of seconds a communication channel was broadcast to each of us “Hailing Fleet COACA This is Commander Hans of the Gallente Federation you are hereby ordered  to stand down your station and your clones have been destroyed your fleet and your commanders captive”. 'Mortality?' I thought mockingly 'this is turning out to be a better day than I anticipated' looking down and seeing the blood still fresh on my sleeve. “You have one chance to comply.” He said. “We have use for good pilots and I would hate to waste that for your pride”. 'Live to fight tomorrow' I saw on my personal com-channel with Lucian. I knew I was fading and despite embracing the final rest many times over today was not the day I would die. “Calling  Commander Hans, this is Squad-Leader  Nifahn requesting medical assistance. I caught the interdiction bubble at near maximum warp speed.” His response was well met. “ Having survived that you earned it. You may dock on our command ship where help will be on the way”. 'Wher-' I thought before the behemoth uncloaked and completely eclipsed any light coming from the nearby star dwarfing both fleets combined. Docking in my first command ship was everything I imagined. The help was already at the door and with my job done I closed my eyes and fell deep asleep.

Waking up. Any injury I sustained was brilliantly taken care of, or I just had the smoothest clone transfer in my life. Upon surveying the room I found my self in the company Melkezedech who looked very little like we had just lost our fleet. “ Welcome back. Do you want the good news or the bad news?” He asked. I glanced at my wrist and affirmed that this was the clone from the battle having been healed marked by the number one drawn on my wrist indicating how old my clone was. One being a week This was a considerable time for the life of a clone, at least for my self. My main source of contribution to our fleet was gate checking. Our station had a struggling market and in an effort to become more efficient started policing and removing anyone who made the the main trade routes unsafe. This became exhausting the more available cloning became. After taking some time to reflect on the events prior I chuckled, “If there is good news to be heard then it cannot wait”.  

Lucian walked in smirking like every other time I have encountered him. “We are all free men, so long as we maintain a channel with our would be captors and respond to distress calls from any Gallente relay. We are also jump locked to this system”. “Clones?”I asked.  “They are now compliments of the Federation. For the most part our job hasnt changed.” Lucian told me with a laugh. “The bad news.” Melkezedech said cutting Lucian's laugh short. “The war is already over. All reports say The Forge is the final stronghold and its folding fast”. My head began throbbing. “I couldn't have possibly been  out that long” I pleaded. “There was a betrayal at the capital. All of our commanders were given false information about a mass invasion force that ended up being a series of traps. General Nivek has taken command and as far as anyone can tell is the only remaining obstacle for the complete annihilation of the Caldari Council”. I took a deep breath and tried to find an answer. There was no scenario that they would succeed at escaping their captors and making it to our remaining forces. “I think its time we get you to your agent.” Lucian said breaking a long silence. “So that's it Fleet Commander Lucian?” I said mockingly. Lucian looked back for the first time his face reflecting the situation we were in. “Well we are alive anyway”.