#I have nothing else to say because the daily depression has hit really badly today but like yay woo art whatever

[jennadrawsandgames]

Don’t Go Alone - A Creepypasta OC Story

Before I get into the story, I want to tell you all that this is an original character I created. A story told in a different person’s perspective. Other than that, I hope you enjoy.

-

I’ve never expected that this town was the heart of missing people. Just the other day, a report of three middle school children went missing. I was fazzing out whenever the news reports talked about the children, and their names. I mean, they didn’t matter. I’m not some type of investigator or police officer. I’m just an average teacher at the prep school downtown that opened just months ago. If I needed to know the children’s names, then I would care. Besides, their just about to become high schoolers. They can take care of themselves.

“Mr. Johnson, the principal was hoping to see you.” Katie, my TA told me as she dropped the class phone, snapping me out of a minor transition.

“Oh, okay. Thank you Katie.” I replied to the high schooler.

She looked kinda disappointed in me when I was just leaving the empty classroom. It’s like she’s missing something. I brushed it off so I can focus on what’s coming to me now.

The empty halls filled with lost papers of homework, little doodles, and missing papers of students. Just having the feeling I’m missing something myself. It must’ve been the coffee from this morning.

I managed to get into the office to meet with the principal, but everyone seemed to be depressed over something. It’s just washing over everyone. I just see the man waiting for me in the doorway like always.

“Good morning Johnson.”

“G-good morning sir.” I just felt so hesitant when the words came out of my mouth.

“Come in. I need to chat with you for a moment.”

He let me into the office. It was just filled with many papers of bills and missing papers of students and some teachers over the last few months. You can’t even see his desk with all of these papers from worried parents and government officials and complaints of how unsafe the school can be from the amount of people going missing.

“You must be wondering why I wanted you in my office.” William Woodrow gave me a grin hoping for the response I’ll give back.

“I was sir. You called me while I was preparing for my English classes with my TA when you called.” I replied back still feeling worried on where this conversation is going.

“Look, we’re not getting a good reputation with all these complaints of missing children and one of our own students going on a homiside just in October. I also looked into your resimay and your were in the army. Aren’t I correct Johnson?”

“Whoa-wait. What does being part of the military 4 years ago have to deal with being a teacher?”

“We need your help to find those missing children. I hate the school getting a bad reputation because the parents are coming to me instead of the government about their children.”

“Sir, I don’t want to look back into my military past. I never wanted to speak about it ever again. Please just let me be the thing I wanted to be-.”

“That’s why I’m not giving you an option. You do what you’re told to do, and you’ll do it.”

I went silent when he stated that to me.

“That’s what a thought. You and some other teachers will begin the search tonight, 7 pm. You’re the only one who knows how to use a gun, so you’ll be leading the group. I hope to see good results from you like always.”

I started to leave the room since that was the only thing he needed me for. My question is why Principal Woodrow making me and other teachers be a search party? Most of these children could be faking of going missing just to make is an excuse to not do school. I only signed up to become a teacher after leaving my past life behind. The tactics they’re teaching in the Army were very sketchy like we’re going for war against each other. I’m just a black individual trying to live a better life, not make it worse for myself.

The day continued on like how it should be, but I can’t get that thought out of my head. The principal has now gone insane. I just had to accept this offer. I need this job. If I lose the job, I lose everything. I wish it didn’t have to be this way.

It’s about 6:30 pm when some other teachers started to arrive at the meeting point. Most of them will back out of it and lie about the search. They eventually left at 7:00 out of the fact there’s no use to it. I went into the entrance of the woods all by myself. It sucked to not have others around me for support.

“Pussies. They pretend to be something they aren’t. Just man up and we’ll find out the truth.” I told myself since nobody was around.

The entrance to the woods is gone even from not making that much progress in. It gave me the chills to see only trees and freshly made foot prints from last night. This must’ve been where those children went.

It’s been getting darker, almost pitch-black. It feels like forever since I last entered in. Especially how I still found nothing. I was at the point of giving up when I found a stench coming from around the area. It smelled like flesh being cut opened just recently. I stepped onto a log, but it felt so squishy? The stench grew stronger the more I stepped onto these logs.

I looked down to see exactly what I was stepping on and was shocked. These weren’t logs at all. These were the children that went missing last night. I was so shocked that I couldn’t move at all. Fear just swallowed me up whole.

“You know, it’s funny to say for a man like you to be a fucking wimp and stand up for yourself.” A voice giggled around me.

“Who-who’s there? I got a gun and I’m not afraid to use it!”

“Andrew Johnson. English teacher at Pacific Prep. A private educational school for middle schoolers and high schoolers. It sucks how shady the government is to use students from that school as extermination weapons.”

“The fuck you’re talking about and how do you know my name?”

“That’s a secret for another day, if you can last. Everyone knows not to enter into my woods alone, or at least my father’s woods.”

I shine my phone’s flashlight around, hoping to find where the voice is coming from. This has to be a student prank.

“Show me your fucking face you bitch!”

“Aw.. You called me a bitch. Such an insult from a ‘holy man’ like you. You can say I’ve known you for a while now. Just hiding behind a mask.”

I managed to finally find some movement of a girl wearing one of the school’s uniforms? Half her face was covered with a mask that’s covered in blood. The worst part was how bloody the uniform was. I can see her holding a pistol of some kind. It was a custom made pistol.

“Uh oh.. You found me~.”

“G-get away you monster!”

She jumped down from the trees cocking the pistol up. I felt so defenseless when I met eye-to-eye.

“Who are you?”

“You can say I died in October, but never did. You can say the one who helped the government kill protesters that were fighting for their rights. You can also say I’m the girl who was falsely accused for many fights I’ve never started before getting suspended for breaking a bitches’ nose.”

“Evelyn Brooks? Holy shit. How are you alive?”

“I never died. I only escape. They thought I was the mouse, but I was really the cat with the mouse in my hands. Well bummer that you now know a lot. I could keep you alive, but that would never be fun.”

She didn’t answer my question. Well she did, but why like that? I just realized I still have my gun fully loaded, so I can get back alive. I quickly aimed at her arm and tried to shoot her, but she was already gone.

“Oh now we’re playing. Only one gets out alive.” Her voice rings inside my head as my hands gripped right onto the gun barrel. That’s when I felt a sharp object hit my back. I turned around to see nothing, but it happened again.

Shit, she’s too fast. I don’t even know where she is anymore. I need to think to get out alive. I’m already losing a lot of blood were also too deep in for anyone to hear a person. I just grabbed the gun and shot around the area hoping to hit the girl.

I ran out of ammo just at my second turning. This became bad, to worse. From at top, I see the girl firing shots at me. She was only grazed by some of the bullets, but nothing else. I was in complete shock how this girl survived that without being badly hurt. She definitely knows what she’s doing which makes it the worst part of it. She shot 5 times and all of the bullets hit me in my arms and legs. It just hurts to move anymore and dropped to the ground on top of the dead children’s bodies.

“You know, that wasn’t a bad fight you put up. The first one to manage a hit onto me. And I don’t go by ‘Evelyn Brooks.’ I go by Eve.” She says as she shoots the final bullet into my head and rips the knives out of my back. My body lies there as everything goes black.

-

“This is the daily news for today. This morning police officers found 4 bodies known to be the 3 children that went missing and the fourth one being the man of Andrew Johnson. A teacher for Pacific Prep. Before he was found dead, some teachers saw him enter into the woods near the town around 7:00 pm. He was the only teacher that fully consented to search for the missing children which the school funded a search party to find the students. Police also found a pistol that was there at the crime scene and looked into the gun and saw something they would never expected. Engraved within the gun, ‘Project EVE.’ Were theorizing that this gun to the owner was responsible for the murders of all of those peaceful protesters from October, to December.”

“We also heard about another student that goes to Pacific Prep, Skylar Evans, was considered dead by the government. Before she went missing last month, she was last spotted walking from a small cafe before heading to the school. They claimed to find her dead in the woods as well during the search party that happened earlier this morning. We’re not sure this is true, so we’ll keep the investigation ongoing. That’s all of the news for today.”

The television turns off with people surrounding the area.

“It’s nice to know you’re back from keeping the people away from our territory.”

“I did find someone hiding that was eating some flesh while I was on my way back. Her name, Skylar Evans, but she would be preferred to be called ‘Patient Ø.’”

“Thank you for the information Eve. We’ll have you get her to us tonight, so we can meet her.”

[dailyaudiobible]

11/08/2020 DAB Transcript

Ezekiel 18:1-19:14, Hebrews 9:1-10, Psalms 106:32-48, Proverbs 27:10

Today is the 8th day of November welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is great to be here with you as we reach out together, twist that knob, throw open the door, and walk through the threshold into a brand do shiny sparkly week. And I'm ready to walk into this brand-new shiny sparkly week. I always am because it's a new start. And there may be spillover. We may have all kinds of little entanglements that are being carried over from the last week but how we deal with them, we can take a new approach if we want to. And that's the reminder of a new week but that's also the reminder of a new day. Yesterday may have been brutal and we may have handled everything incorrectly and we’ve got a lot of cleanup to do, but how we approach that in this new day or in this new week, that's in our corner. Nobody's gonna make us defend the positions we had yesterday. If we now realize we may have been incorrect or overreacted we can just walk into this new week humbly, we can just get clean and get true and walk into freedom. And, so, we’ve got us shiny sparkly new week out in front of us and let's dive into it with all of our hearts. We’re gonna read from the God's Word translation this week and we…we will be continuing the journey that we…that’s being pulled forward from last week in the book of Ezekiel and in the book of Hebrews. So, first obviously, we’ll read from the Old Testament. Ezekiel chapters 18 and 19 today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for this brand-new week that we are walking into. And we are walking into it with the anticipation that You will lead and guide us. You are always doing this. You are always patient with us and we are humbly repentant for the times that we are just…it's just too chaotic and we are spinning and we are…You are the last person on our mind and we are not…we are thinking about how we’re gonna cope and we’re thinking about how we’re gonna get through and we turn to You when it seems as if there’s no possible way that can happen instead of walking with You through everything knowing for sure we can navigate this. No matter how difficult or confusing it is we will get through. We won't be trying to cope. We will be coping and overcoming because this is a state that is within us as opposed to us asserting our will upon those around us. So, may we be overcome by You, by Your very presence. May we be overwhelmed by Your presence instead of all of the things that are trying to distract us. Come Holy Spirit, well up from within as we become aware of Your guidance and leadership Your comfort. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it is…it's the website, it’s where you find out what's going on around here, what the Initiatives are. The Daily Audio Bible Shop is there as well as the Community section with the Prayer Wall and ways to get connected. So, check…check this out. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can…you can access all of these things from within the app by pressing the Drawer icon and that's the little…little drawer looking icon in the upper left-hand corner and that’ll get you there. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well or using the app as well by pushing the Give button in the upper right-hand corner. And I thank you humbly, thank you deeply for your partnership. If you prefer the mail, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, little red button at the top. Hard to miss. It’s the only red button up there. So, that's the one and you can press that and begin to share with no matter where you are in the world, or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning my friends this is Aaron from sin city. Hope everyone’s doing well and blessed in these last and evil days. I just want to encourage everyone to be steadfast. Stay with the Lord, stay focused, stay encouraged because God is able to keep you from falling. Jude 24:25 says, “now unto Him that is able to keep you from falling and present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy to the only wise God our Savior. Be glory and majesty, dominion and power both now and forever.” And remember also that God has not giving you a spirit of fear but love power and a sound mind. So, you’re going through marital difficulties you’re going through depression, you’re going through anxiety, you’re going through stresses in your life, children are backsliding, disobedient. Know that one, the word of God is right, and the word of God is being fulfilled and God is not so easy to forget what you’re going through. He loves you and He cares for you. So, as Peter says, “let’s cast our cares upon Him because He cares for us. And don’t worry. Be anxious for nothing. But in everything in supplication and prayer, giving of thanks let your requests be made known.” We just have to learn folks how to just give it to God and let Him deal with it, let Him handle it. Because He’s able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we ask or think. God bless you. Have an awesome day, awesome week. Enjoy the month of November.

Do not boast about tomorrow because you do not know what a day may produce Proverbs 27:1. This is what the Lord says, let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches but let the one who boasts boast about this, that they have the understanding to know me that I am the Lord who exercises kindness, justice, righteousness on earth. For in these things I delight declares the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24. Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth, a stranger not your own lives. Proverbs 27:2. Long ago the Lord said to Israel, I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing kindness, I have drawn you to myself. Jeremiah 31:3. If you know how much the Lord loves you, you don’t have to sing your own praises, advertise your ability, vocalize your riches. You boast in the Lord God who has given new life, confidence, been your provider, guide, healer, redeemer and loves you with an everlasting love. So, Lord I lift you up today. I lift you up today O Lord and I thank you that you are the King of Kings and Savior of the world, the Creator, Redeemer, Defender and Healer, our Prince of Peace our indwelling God. Your Holy Spirit has anointed us. Your Spirit, You died to provide for us as a covering, down payment, infilling sanctified who releases us from any advantage or strategy of the enemy over our lives. Only because of you Lord do we have truth and life and have it and can enjoy it with you at our side ever filling us with strength and joy whatever comes. We have life and we have it abundant until it overflows into the life of all around us with blessing and encouragement, patients, kindness, goodness. Only in you Jesus, gentleness and self-control. So, we can walk humbly love mercy and be examples of God’s justice in this broken world. Love conquers everything. God’s love never…

Hello DAB family today is November 4th and I just finished listening to the November 3rd podcast and I’ve gotta tell you Brian’s comments and the end of that…the reading today pretty much epitomized why I love this community so much, why I listen, why I put a log…my own log on the campfire every month to keep the fires burning. If you haven’t heard it, basically it just reminds us to whom exactly we owe our allegiance, to which kingdom precisely, to which king exactly we owe our allegiance and what this is all about - to love one another as we have been loved. So, to that end, thank you Brian. Thank you for giving us this medium that keeps it really real and free the stuff of this world that weighs us down. Also, I just want to give a shout up Julie who I believe called in as a relatively new listener. Praying that what you have lost will start to be restored as you come back and into the word. Praying for the woman whose son was in that horrible incident. O…that’s terrible. I…I just lift you up sister and all of those who were involved. And thank you to the one who called in praying for our elderly patients…parents. Yeah…I’m one of those who has elderly parents in a situation. So, yeah, another reason why I love this community. We are all going through something and we are all going through it together. Thank you DAB.

Daily Audio Bible community I am a…almost a 3-year listener in Chicago in desperate need of prayer. It’s Wednesday, November 4th and I’m just really struggling. I just feel like everything in my life is going badly. I’ve got several strained relationships in my family, horrible things that are happening with my son. Work is good and my health is good. And I know that I should just really be thankful. I’m blessed for the areas that are going good but the things are going bad just feel so heavy today. And I can’t stop crying. I can’t focus at work and I just need all the prayers to get. Thank you so much.

Hi family this is Biola from Maryland I hope you’re all doing well. Brian and Jill God bless your ministry. China, I’m still prating for your pregnancy for a healthy pregnancy and that you and Ben will have that baby safely in the name of Jesus. Chris, it broke my heart to hear your prayer request and I pray that God will comfort you and your daughter over the passing of her mother in the name of Jesus. And I am also praying for the sisters that called in, Desiree and the other lady who can’t read her Bible because of cancer. Lord we know O God Lord that cancer is a thief because it was not caused by you Lord. And, so, in agreement with my brothers and sisters in the Daily Audio Bible we come against this cancer in the name of Jesus. Oh Lord of heaven I pray that You will arise with healing in your wings over these ladies O God, these precious daughters of yours O God and everyone in the DAB family battling with cancer or even Covid. Dan, I heard your prayer request about your sister-in-law who is battling Covid. I’m hoping in the name of Jesus that she’s fine now and she’s out of the woods. And I pray for everyone who is still suffering from Covid and is a member of the Daily Audio Bible. Father hear our cries over them and heal them in the name of Jesus. Margot I was chuckling when I heard your testimony. Isn’t that like our God?? You asked for a window, He gives you a balcony. Margot I’m praying for you and praying that God will prosper you in your ministry. I’m praying for all the missionaries from the world, that God would prosper them. I thank the sister that called in from Nigeria. God bless you my sister. Family whenever you remember Nigeria please pray for that country that God will intervene, stamp out corruption in that country and that God would comfort the hearts of those whose families of those who have lost their lives in the name of Jesus.

[writerinthedark]

World Long Hidden P1: Teen Wolf Fan-fiction

A/N: I had written this story during the long month of November for NaNoWrimo. Now it is time to release it into the world. I hope you enjoy. PS, This has yet to be edited.

Word Count: 3411

OTP: Derek x Casity

Warnings: Abuse, language, violence.

      The shouting of my parents rung me from my short-lived sleep. I never really sleep much but I would still like sleep while I could. Violence in the house was far from uncommon. It was a just like any day in my life. I was used to daily beatings from doing nothing but living. Apparently breathing in a crime worth punishment. One of them was most likely coming up soon to beat me. For what, I have no clue and probably will never know. I quickly scrambled to get ready before either of them came in. Hoping that if I was already ready they would spare me a beating. Things like this were my small experiments that I tried seeing if they change my daily life for the better. It was the first day of my junior year of high school, and would be suspicious if I showed up with a shiner. I say that like I have a choice. I was not even allowed to wear little to no makeup so if I got one there was pretty much nothing I could do.  Even though it was common for me to show up to school with a bruise. I was hoping the first day I could get by without one covering my face. The favorite place of my dad was the jaw. I was surprised my jaw was not permanently purple at this point.  I have no clue how no one put two and two together. It is not like I covered them up most of the time. It was clear as day, I guess no one really cared. The loud slam of the front door rang through the house making me tense. Signaling my mom had left the house heading on her way to work. She never was one to stand up for me, she would just watch as my father beat me. I could never see through her dull eyes. The creaking of the stairs warned me of the incoming of my father walking up the stairs. I was trying to prepare myself for what was to come. With a loud slam my door was flung open hitting the wall behind it. My father stood there with his eyes showing with anger I was all to use to by now. It was practically the only look he showed me by now. I barely remember a time when they did not beat me on a daily basis. I must have been a child when it started. He quickly walked to the side of me grabbing my collar in his fist. I looked in his eyes waiting for the first strike. It was just silence in the air as I waited. I was soon met with the stinging of a slap on my cheek. I knew better than to make noise knowing it would only make it worse. It was already bad and I had no desire to make it worse.

 “You piece of shit! You do nothing but sit around and do nothing. You eat our money and do nothing to make up for it. I swear to god if you don’t start doing more I will throw you on the street!” He yelled.

Nothing stopped him from continuing to beat me. It would only stop when he felt he had done enough. He never stuck to one area, always wanting to cover every inch on my body with bruises. It was like he was the painter and I was the canvas. With a last throw of me up against the wall, I fell slumping to the floor. My body was caked with bruises and cuts. I was just a pile of pain by the end.  So much for starting the first day of school with a clean slate. I watched as the anger drained from his face. Finally having enough with beating me to a pulp. He left me slumped on the wall looking at me one more time before leaving through the door. I bet he don't even care if I went to school or not.  I pulled myself together, dragging myself off the floor. I was not going to miss the first day of school even if it killed me. I walked over to my bathroom that connects to my bedroom. Looking in the mirror I was met with the aftermath of the beating. It was not as bad as I could be but I still would have been better if I did not have it.  My green eyes stared back at me in my reflection. Evidence of new bruises starting to show on my body. The dusty purple showing on many places on my body. I took a washcloth getting it wet with water trying to clean up the blood on some of the more severe injuries. It did not take long with the small amount of blood there was. My shoulder seem to take to brunt of my slam against the wall. It hurt a lot worse than most of my other injuries. I had no time to look at it realizing the time. I gently picked up my backpack, careful to avoid my shoulder when putting it on. If it was hurt that badly, I did not want to hurt it even more. I walked by the kitchen glad to see my father had left for work. It allowed me to get out of the house without much difficulty. I grabbed a banana from the fruit basket on the counter making my way to the door. 

Walking out the door the distance to my bus stop was not too far from my house. If it was any further I would have risked missing the bus. Looking down at my watch I saw the time. I was really cutting it close getting to the bus stop. I just made it to the stop as the bus pull to a stop beside me. The doors opens with the sound of the air depressing. The subtle hiss coming to a stop. My shoulder was starting to throb as I made my way through the seat iles every once in a while my shoulder would bump into a seat causing a wave of pain to go down my arm. Making me wince. I finally found an empty seat, placing my bag down before sitting. Taking advantage of the coverage the seat give me, I take a final glance making sure no one is looking. I begin to peel the different layers off my shoulder in order to get a look at the damage done. God knows I won’t have time later today to. My shoulder was completely swollen, the skin turning a deathly purple. I quickly cover it before anyone on the bus looked over and saw. I don’t think they would care but I don’t want to risk it. I was glad the high back seats provide slight privacy. The first day excitement was buzzing throughout the bus. Making everyone act ten times as foolish. Talking louder than normal talking about what teacher they got and so on. It was almost nauseating. The bus ride was short, only having to pick up one more bus stop before heading straight to the school. Pulling up along the curb Lexington High in newly painted letters shown on the side of the school. Every year they would paint the letters in order to look fresh. It was about the only thing in the school to look fresh. With the doors of the bus open, everyone began to quickly file out excited for the first day. Ready to have a great start to a year. Getting off was a lot harder than getting on with my shoulder. People constantly pushing like it will get them off the bus faster. Without a care in the world for other people on the bus. By the time I was out my head had become dizzy from the pain becoming almost blinding. Taking a second I was able to shake it away quickly. Once I was able to get my footing back I made my way into the school. I made a b-line straight for my locker. I was hoping that if I was quick enough I could find a seat in the back of the class. I was lucky to snag a seat in the back sometimes. Looking down at my schedule I saw my first class marked as World History. Picking up my pace I dropped of the stuff I did not need and rush to my class. I was hoping to get there before the well known popular group of kids arrived if they were in that class. Knowing they would make it worse when they did. Making it to class I was glad to see an open seat in the back by a window. Yay, best seat in the class. Dropping my backpack by my chair I took a seat, waiting for class to start. Here we go with another year. Waiting for class to start, I had time to think over what had occurred this morning. I could feel the pain in my shoulder increase as time went by. Every once in awhile holding my breath as a fresh wave of pain went through my shoulder, just breathing through. I tried to hide the pain from my face when a new wave would come. Hearing the sound of chatter growing louder, I turned to face the door. I was not surprised when the queen bee Alex walked through the door with the rest of her hive following behind. She drew the eyes of everyone in the class as she walked down the desk isles. Making me roll my eyes at her dramatics. Everyone was quick to move there things for her as she walked. It was not like she is royalty. I turned my head looking out the window beside me. To dramatic for my taste if you ask me. I could hear the distinct clicking of heels as Alex made her way to the back of the classroom, finding a seat. The clicking of the heels stopped beside me. Turning my head I was met with the queen bitch herself.

 “Can I help you with anything,” I ask with a smile plastered on my face.

“Yeah actually, you can help by getting out of my seat,” she says.

I was already starting to get feed up with her cocky attitude.

“Oh this seat?” I ask sounding surprised. She nods like it was obvious. “Really? I could have sworn I was sitting here.” I say my voice dripping with sarcasm.  

“Who do you think you are?” she asks.

“I don’t think I know I am Casity Ashton.” I respond.

“You little bitch,” she all but screeches. “This won’t be the end of this,” she exclaims.

She storms off taking a seat towards the front of the class. Pissy much? She overreacts just a little bit in my opinion. Why did I do that, I should have just let her have the seat, with the trouble I am going to get from it. I couldn’t just keep my mouth shut. I just hated it when people thought they were above someone else. No one ever stood up to them, treating them like royalty. I had no time to enjoy my victory, because I knew sooner or later she would come back at me in full swing. With her hooves kicking. I was just lucky class was about to start, not to mention it was the first day of school. No one dared to do anything on the first day of school. I sighed in frustration as our teacher walked in the classroom.

“Good morning class!” He exclaimed. “My name is Mr.Wester, and I will be your World History teacher for this year.”

 I had no clue how a teacher could sound so excited to teach a class. Just the thought of having to deal with kids our age all day sounded exhausting. Yet he seemed like he could just burst with excitement. He grabbed a stack of paper and began to pass them out.

“Ok let’s get right to it, on your desk is a paper outlining this semester,” he said.

 I looked down at the paper seeing the first subject of the year was North and South Korea. If I was correct than most of the guys would start making inappropriate comments on communists. I could feel a headache forming at just the thought of the idea. The bell rang signaling the end of the first block of the day. If this was what one block was like that it was going to be a long day. Out in the hallway I could see a few cops walking around freely. Everywhere I looked there was at least one. They seemed to be asking people questions. I was hoping they skipped me if that was the case. Seeing as we were in a middle class neighborhood I had no clue as to why there would be cops here. Through the glass windows of the front office I saw who I only assumed was a teacher crying.  Her face was pale and nose red from crying. I had to be something bad if she did not care if people saw her cry. I may not be an expert in emotions but she seem shaken up about something. Whether it was something small or not it was big to her. Maybe it had to do something with the police surrounding the school. I guess it had to be big if police were here.  With the warning bell ringing I had to skip going to my locker having to head straight to my next class. I looked down at my schedule, ugh, it was P.E. I never was a fan of PE. The throbbing of my shoulder reminded me of how difficult this was going to be.  I had to break my gazing at the police in order to avoid being late on the first day.  I was glad to find that Alex and her goons were not in this P.E class. Not that it clears me up from much at all, but it takes a little of the pressures off my chest. With it being the first day there was not much to do in P.E. We had yet to get our uniforms to participate in a normal P.E block. After attendance was called we were free to walk and talk. Only problem was little to no one even talked to me. Every once in a while someone would come up and say a snarky comment then leave. Sometimes I would get an apology if I was accidentally bumped into. Walking in a circle only increased the pain in my shoulder as I had nothing to do to distract myself from the building pain. It was boring just doing nothing but walk in a circle. Ever since freshman year I have still yet to make friends. I doesn’t bother me just seems a little sad on the outside. Watching me walk alone in a circle. Class ended at the sound of a bell. Pretty much the entire class was just walking and talking. I am fine with that but it left me with nothing to do. Outside the gym police officers still loomed around taking what I could assume to be statements. I had no clue about what though. No gossip that I heard had anything that could possibly clue in the police, so what did. It is not like violence was common in our area. We were in middle class with high paying jobs. I would definitely have to check out the news when I got home. I was just glad they had not come to take a statement from me yet. I may know a lot of things, but it is stuff I would not have learned if I did not eavesdrop that they would need. Walking to my next class I was finally able to put my stuff back in my locker from my past block. For my next block all I needed was a pencil. Most of the time I was not required to even have a pencil. That class was none other than chorus. It was the one thing I got to indulge in with my parents. Indulge, meaning I only did it at school, but it was all the same to me. I walked into the class glad to see my favorite teacher still teaching. I had no clue how he was still teaching. He was old as dust and always seemed to make it another year. He would always ask me how my day was, he even once reported about my injuries. Even though the school did nothing to help at all. This school did not give a flying shit about it. They were just glad not to have another kid under foster care. As far as I was concerned nothing could be worse than my parents now. Unlike most victims of abuse I know I have done nothing wrong. This is not just their way of teaching me, it is just straight abuse.  I was glad he still would try to make my experience at school as fun as he could. I walked in going straight to him to say hi.

 “Hi Mr. Johnson,” I said.

“Hello Miss. Ashton, I see you have come to school with yet another souvenir,” he states.

Everytime he comments it is almost like he understands what I am going through. Even if it is not true it still feels nice to think someone understands what you are going through.

 “Just another to add to my collection,” I added.

 I walked back to the seat I always sit in every year. He knows I will be back every year so he knows where I like to sit.  I sat down right as the bell rung. Mr. Johnson went up to say the same speech he says every year. It was along the lines of My name is blank, I am glad to have you in my class, and this is what we will be doing this year. I felt bad no one really paid attention to him. Even though I never paid much attention to the speech knowing he always had me work on different things than the class. I was glad I was able to sing songs I like rather than the opera stuff they sing. That does not mean I have not had my fair share of some.  I loved to see the joy in his eyes as I would sing a new song. I felt almost like a personal radio to him. I was not prepared when he announced we had to move benches because he was unable to before the start of the school year. We were his first class and only class on A-days so it was left to us to move them. Normally I would not mind but these things are heavy, and with my shoulder the way it was I was pretty much useless. I still tried to push in someway, with one more push white pain blinded me. I was used to most things but this pain surprised me. It was the type of pain I was described to about in book. I took a few steps stumbling to the wall beside me. With a thud I landed on the ground leaning up against the wall. I could barely hear the sounds around me as I tried to regain my ground. I must have hurt my shoulder more than I originally thought. I knew the bruise from this injury would most likely be one of the worse I have had. I was surprised to see no one had realized my departure. Than again I was a nobody in the school. Leaving me to easily blend in with the shadows. I could skip school and no one would know I was gone. It just went to show what I truly was to the world. I could hear the slow wobble of Mr. Johnson and his cane walking towards me. In the distance I could hear my name being called. I could barely keep my eyes open with the pain coursing through my shoulder. I could not help went my eyes closed shut submerging me in darkness. 

[aplaceforthesoul]

Anonymous submitted:

Hi! I was wondering if I could ask for some advice with a friendship… I’ve been very close friends with this person for roughly 5-ish years now; it’s a friendship based on shared interests and mental health issues tbh, because we met over the net and I think the point where we actually became very close was when she told me about how she was struggling with depression. I was having trouble with anxiety myself at the time so I tried my best to support her, and later in our friendship, she told me how happy she was at the time. She said that because her parents don’t understand mental illness, she never had anybody to validate her feelings before we started talking about them. Anyway I wouldn’t say that mental health is like, the foundation of our friendship or anything, but it has continued to have a big part in our conversations in the years since then, and I’ve recently started to grapple with this ugly feeling that after five years of it I no longer know what to do for her? Like…I do understand that it’s not my job to be her therapist and that there isn’t any treatment I can offer, but she’s been doing especially badly since covid hit and when she vents about her troubles, I do need to respond somehow. It hurts because she’s in a lot of pain but there’s nothing I can do and “it’s ok to not be ok; I’m here for you if you need me; you’re not worthless; your feelings or valid” seems useless by now when I’ve already said the same things so many times. But idk how else to respond when she’s making suicide jokes that are clearly about actual suicidal ideation, has constant horrible revelations about buried childhood trauma, talks about her lack of a support system at home and scary things her therapist tells her every other week, etc. This probably sounds really hateful but I just want to clarify that I don’t mean it to be; I know that objectively, her life so far has been horrible and all the feelings she expresses are valid ways to feel about it. I just feel so helpless because the information keeps coming in but there’s nothing I can do. I *think* part of the problem is that I’ve never once set any sort of boundary when it comes to talking about stuff like this, but the thing is, it’s been 5 years…at this point, I’m not sure where to start. I’m worried she’d take it the wrong way and feel like I’ve decided she’s “too much” for me if I randomly bring it up. Also while it *could* just be me inflating my role in her life, I do feel concerned about potentially cutting off one of her few sources of emotional support? We live in entirely different countries so I never see how she operates in daily life…I know her family is not supportive at all and that her parents border on emotionally abusive, but have no clue how much contact she has with any other people rn or whether she talks about her troubles with anybody other than her therapist…and while conversations about her mental health are stressful, I also feel worried when I *don’t* know what’s happening on her end. I worry she might just bottle it all up (because she does have a tendency to do that) and then she’ll end up doing something reckless. Tl;dr…do you think there’s any way I could lay down some sort of boundary without hurting her? Or is there anything else I could do that might help? (This turned into a bit of a rant, sorry for how long it is and thank you so much for taking the time to read it! It helped so much just to write it down and get the thoughts out of my system, and reading this blog in general made me feel a lot calmer. You guys respond so kindly to everybody. Again, thanks so much for doing this! <3)

hey there, omg no don’t apologise it’s all cool :* I’m glad writing this all out has helped, writing / journaling is sometimes more therapeutic than people give it credit for.  

I think you’ve hit the nail on the head on quite a few points, especially on not previously setting boundaries, and on feeling helpless too. I know I often say things like “it’s ok to not be ok, tell your friend you’re there for them” etc, but I completely understand how that might start to lose some of its authenticity if you’ve had to say it many times before. friendships are complex! even though I agree (and have said myself) that it’s not the role of you as a friend to also double up as a therapist, at the same time you can’t just ignore what a friend has said. I also think that your concerns of her bottling up emotions and doing something reckless as a result of that is valid, and will complicate things a little. 

is it an option to suggest for her to get a new therapist? a therapist shouldn’t be scaring their patients! :( yes a therapist might put forward ideas that are intimidating (changing behaviours, confronting trauma etc) but they should be there to support their patient, and it shouldn’t feel ‘scary’ overall. they also shouldn’t be saying/doing things that scare someone every other week, that’s not healthy or helpful. is your friend aware of the possible negative impact her therapist is having on her, would she be open to the idea of looking for someone new? I know there can be accessibility / financial obstacles to factor in, but if there is any option for your friend to find a new therapist that could be something to talk with her about. 

there is one clear boundary you can set though, and that’s jokes around suicide / suicide ideation. if that’s her personal way of coping then that’s fine? but you absolutely have every right to ask her not to make comments like that around you if it makes you feel uncomfortable or anxious or on edge. I doubt she’s doing anything intentionally! if that’s the case though then she’s almost certain not to be aware of any negative impact it’s having on you. 

honestly, I think the best you can do is keep encouraging her to seek professional help, and for her to be as open as possible with her therapist. the website Psychology Today (uk / usa / australia / canada) could be useful in finding a new therapist? she could maybe look at contacting her local youth centre and asking for info and resources as well, if that’s something that could help.

how to talk about all of this with her though, the idea of possibly suggesting a new therapist and setting a few boundaries? it’s a conversation that might need a bit of planning beforehand, even if it’s just rough idea in bullet-point form. you could let her know that you care about her a lot but jokes suicide / suicide ideation aren’t helpful for you to hear -- stress that you’re not trying to make her feel bad and that you know it’s not intentional, but that you just wanna make her aware of it. mention that you love and care about her a lot! but that there are limits to what you can help with, and conversations around resurfaced childhood trauma might be best talked about with her therapist. mention that this isn’t you abandoning her or anything, that she can always talk to you? however you feel a little helpless in the face of all her troubles and concerns, and that you just want her to have the best care and support possible.

it’s not going to be an easy conversation to have, but it’s absolutely a necessary one. as long as you make sure to stress that you really do love her and care about her a lot, she hopefully won’t get too defensive or upset. you maybe might need to give the friendship a bit of extra attention (eg. starting conversations first, asking how she’s doing etc) to show that you really did mean it when you say you cared about her :* actions speak louder than words sometimes, and if she can see that you’re still dedicating time and energy to the friendship then it could help to mitigate the risk of her doing something reckless. good luck friend, I hope the conversation with her goes alright xxx

- tash