#I haven't been able to check the tag regularly either

[soundsfaebutokay]

The Horror and the Wild album anniversary is upon us! Well, it's on Feb. 29 which only happens on leap years because Joey and Madeleine are just that Extra, but you know what I mean. What are we doing, o favorite fandom of mine? I haven't had the time to do my usual thing (i.e. fight with Tumblr search a month in advance to find THATW posts to schedule for a week-long reblogging spree) so this blog will be relatively quiet. Did anyone post or announce any plans or suggestions?

[dearhargrove]

oh, hiii! since i'm loving everything you wrote with billy and requests are open i would like to request a one shot with the reader being comforted by him as a boyfriend about her inexperience. like the reader still being a virgin, never drank alcohol, never smoked and trying not to be naive but couldn't help it, maybe neurodivergent coded. she tries to impress billy at first and pretends she's like an average teenager but he knows and she confesses in an angst way. thank you! ♡

Closer and closer

Summary Getting closer to Billy meant feeling more and more bothered by how little you knew about whatever lifestyle he had going on. So, you pretend to know what it was like to drink regularly, smoke and, well, sleep with someone.

word count 2783

tags/warnings implied sexual content, hickeys, drinking

notes saw the request. Wrote it. Felt good about it. Re read. Still felt good. Posted it ;)! This feels ungrateful to say but I haven't been getting as many notes, so iwas a little unmotivated to do anything haha. Enjoy this <3

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You sigh as you listen to your best friend try to explain what it's like to be wasted, but failing horribly to bring her point across. She sighs and falls on her back dramatically, "(y/n), seriously, just get drunk once. It's not a big deal, we get something and I'll take care of you!"

Shaking your head you put the pen you've been playing with aside and focus on her, "I don't want to. I just want to know what it's like so I can… you know." She knew and she hated it. In her opinion you should either just actually do what you were pretending to be doing or drop him.

"If he's stuck with you for so long without making any moves just tell him. That boy's got a crush on you, or something," you blush and throw a pillow against her head. "That's not true and you know it!" You're burning up from embarrassment - why would she even ask that? It's obvious he would grow bored of you sooner or later, you'd just rather it be later which was also the reason behind your pretense.

Besides everyone's belief he could be nice if he wanted to, it just took him trust and feeling safe - which most people didn't get the chance to know. When he found you waiting inside your car to bring your friend home after she was done partying he found it amusing at first, waiting to make fun of you because who waits inside their car while there's a party going on? It had turned into you timidly lecturing him about his alcohol intake and him flustering you in turn.

"C'mon, stop being so naive. He never sticks with someone, why with you?" The jealousy and confusion was obvious in her voice and it was kind of hurtful that she didn't expect you to be able to keep in contact with someone like him, but then again you could understand her point.

"All I know is that he's nice. To me, at least," you add while playing with your fingers. "You've been saying that all month and yet he never talks to you outside of you meeting up." That shuts you up because he really didn't. In school or whenever you met coincidentally he'd ignore you. Grace gets up and brushes off her pants, checking her pink wrist watch. "Shit, I gotta go. See you in school tomorrow!" She gathers her jacket and is out of your room in a split second, leaving you with your thoughts.

Should you do as she said? Get drunk and maybe even sleep with someone?

-

When you and Billy met up the next time it was awkward. All you thought about were Grace's words; when would he stop spending time with you? There was nothing he got from being with you like this.

"You listening, doll?" He asks with a small smile, pointing the singular fry he was holding in your direction. You smile a little and shake your head, then nodding to ensure you were paying attention.

But he stops talking and pushes the food to the side of the table, leaning his chin on his propped up arm.

"What's on your mind?" He sounds unlikely concerned but kept his cool facade, wanting to know what was going on, and it got you; how could you resist when he looked at you like that?

"It's nothing," you decline and reach for some fries in nervousness. He watches you carefully before huffing and leaning back, crossing his arms, "What? You tired of me?"

Your head shoots up and you vehemently deny it, where did he get that? "No! No… uh, I'm just distracted, I guess." He smiles a little at your loud disagreement, "Good. Wouldn't have let go of you anyway," he adds absentmindedly before inquiring further, "What's on your mind? Must be important enough to distract you from me."

You chuckle and hit his arm, why was he so arrogant and why did you like it when he was? "It's just, Grace said some things yesterday and I can't get them out of my head," you admit.

He nods, "I never liked her," his voice is dismissive and he drops his arms from where they were crossed to brush a hand through his hair, he scoffs, "She's really intrusive."

On one hand you want to defend her, she wasn't intrusive, just curious. But on the other hand you knew he was right, after all you'd seen her dozen attempts at getting in his pants yourself, so you stay quiet. "Listen, I don't care she's your friend and shit, you know who's good for you, but if she said something that stays on your mind, it better be something positive. Wouldn't want you upset on a date with me, huh?" He always jokes about your meetups being dates and it's got you shy with a capital S.

"No- that's not," you stop yourself and rub your hands over your face before breathing in, "I don't know. She made some comments about our, uh, acquaintance and it just stuck with me," you explain.

"What 'comments'? If it's about me I'd like to know, princess." His voice was a little demanding, but demanding enough for you to look up and make nervous eye contact with him. One raise of his eyebrow and you're talking, "She just questioned why you stick with me. That's all."

His reaction was different from what you expected; you thought he'd laugh about it and shrug it off, but instead he frowned. "Well, tell her I'm sticking around you because you're not as basic as she is and neither are you intrusive. As she is," you're a little shocked but also relieved because that was a good sign, right? To you, it sounded like he didn't plan on giving this up soon.

After that, the conversation died down into something more relaxed and the exchange was easy, just as it always was.

-

Looking at the glass bottle in front of you made you nervous - you'd bought it out of spite just to show Grace that you could be like everyone else! But now you're unsure. You were alone because your parents were on a trip to visit long distance relatives, leaving you alone for the week.

You had a stare down with the bottle when the doorbell rang, echoing through the house. Confused, you get up, going to look who it is.

Seeing Billy standing on your front door step was what you had been least expecting. Between his lips sat one of his Marlboros, halfway through already. "Evening, doll," he muses, his hand in the pockets of his jean jacket. "Uh, good evening?" You hesitated and then stepped aside, guessing he wanted to be let in.

You were a little embarrassed when the realization settled in that you were in your pajamas, a discarded old t-shirt with some sweatpants that definitely had holes in it.

Your face was hot but you ignored it, "Uh, what are you doing here?"

"Can I not visit my best friend?" He jokes and looks for an ashtray, only to find none. He watches you play with a string on the shirt and laughs a little, god were you cute.

"Let's get to your room," it was mostly out of curiosity of what it looked like but in the back of his head he was also afraid one of your parents would come home unexpectedly and catch him here.

You stood still for a second, "But… I didn't clean." At this he laughs out loud just to realize you were dead serious when you stay silent. "I really don't mind, princess," he very much knew how much you loved when he called you any pet names, so he did at any chance (apart from the fact he loved doing it, because what else would he call you?).

When he came into your room you waited at the door for a second before seeing something that made your eyes go wide. He turns to whatever you're staring at and bristles, vodka? You? He was utterly confused as you definitely had never touched alcohol before. He knew very well you were pretending with whatever you said about experience, but he enjoyed when you tried explaining something you hadn't experienced yourself.

"Who left this here?" He asks as he swiftly scoops it up and looks at you, waiting. "Uhm, no one." You try not to appear as nervous as you truly were, it'd ruin everything you had lied about so far.

With a barely audible whine you rush to excuse its presence, "Grace is coming over in a minute and I wanted to drink something with her." You're a little proud because it wasn't that bad of an excuse, was it?

"Love, I know you're lying. What's this doing here?" His posture was intimidating and you felt like you were being scolded, it was kind of scary. But at the same time your head was exploding because 'love' was new. And you liked it. A lot.

"I'm not lying," you defend yourself, knowing it was useless. He just sighs and sits on your bed, motioning for you to come close. You hesitantly do so, his hands settling on your waist after laying the bottle aside, the skin where his hands lay was tingling and warm. Was this what heaven was like?

He looks at you, and to others - that don't know him - it may have seemed indifferent. But you saw that wasn't what it was, he was… disappointed? Definitely nothing good, at least.

"I know you were pretending with everything, just tell me why you got this?" He asked, and God, why did his voice have to be so… luring? You caved in immediately, though you tried keeping yourself from it. "Well I wanted to know what I was talking about and Grace couldn't explain it… So I thought this would be the best to do."

He looks somewhat upset as he reaches up to lay a hand on your cheek. He was unnaturally sweet, but you still saw the rough edges of him with the way he struggled keeping his hands a light touch.

"Don't do it just because others want you to or make you feel like you have to, yeah? Being drunk is not all that, anyway." He says and you pout just a little, "Then why do you drink so much?"

He chuckles and takes his hand away again, "Because sometimes that's the best way to forget," he doesn't elaborate and you can feel he doesn't want to, so you stay quiet.

"Will you stay friends with me?" It was implied when he said he'd seen through you anyway but you wanted to make sure. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I'm nothing special. I've never done anything that you constantly do and I'm all naive and… I don't know. There's nothing you could talk about with me."

He stands up again and you flinch a little, would he leave now? Would he tell everyone and make fun of you? You don't dare look up so you keep your eyes on the now messy bed sheets from where he sat.

But he reaches out and places a hand under your chin, making you look up just in time to see him lean forward. The kiss is awkward but satisfying - awkward because you have no idea what you're doing and satisfying because he leads you as best as he can (and because you are kissing Billy Hargrove right now, what bad was there?).

When you part he smiles a little, "Don't do what you don't want to. But if you really want to get drunk I'll take care of you, yeah?"

-

After that night you start dating, and although there's a lot he has to explain and show you he doesn't seem to mind. In school you behave like you don't know each other - you hadn't wanted to be thrust into his social circles, enjoying the quiet atmosphere surrounding you.

The unseen winks and smirks were only between the two of you, his never ending flirting keeping you entertained all throughout the day.

Today evening is a pep rally, and since he played on the basketball team you came to watch. Grace was positively surprised, she had always wanted you two to go, just to fawn over all of the guys or get drunk with someone after the game (though that was just her).

Now, you have your own boy to appreciate all you want. You suppress your smile when he sends a wink to you, your best friend freaking out, claiming it was aimed at her. You just smile happily.

When the game is over, your school's team had won, with many points ahead of the other one. Billy loudly whooped and took his shirt off, something that made you shy but also a little jealous (which you hadn't experienced before). Him and the team celebrated a few minutes and you waited outside meanwhile. Grace had left a few minutes ago when she found someone to leave with.

You didn't really expect Billy to come home with you today as he was probably out partying with his team, but just in case you waited a little. And to your surprise he approached you - with his shirt on - and a big grin on his face.

"Saw me on the field, babe? Isn't your boyfriend so handsome?" You huff but hug him back when he wraps his arms around you. He smelled fresh, having showered right when he had the chance.

"Get in the car, your super amazing boyfriend needs appreciation and that fancy hair thing you do," he demands. It looked and sounded like he was pouting, and mentally he most definitely was, but to the outside he was still intimidating.

Grumbling about his spoiled behavior you got in as well.

When you arrived and got out most of it turned into a blur. Not only were you tired (it was nearing 11:30 after all), but also things got a bit… heated.

You were sitting in his lap while he kissed down your neck, sucking some hickeys here and there. You were enjoying it but were also worried when he found out you were completely inexperienced when it got to this.

Would he be turned off? Well, obviously, right? He'd have to explain everything and it would ruin the mood..! Would he leave you and get off by himself? Because you couldn't do it?

He must've noticed how stiff you were so he parted and placed soft pecks on your cheeks before cocking his head to the side, "What's wrong?"

You look to the side in embarrassment, disappointed in yourself. "I, uh… don't know how to..? I've never…"

You expect him to make fun of you or whatever, but instead he smiles warmly and turns your head back to him. "And? We don't have to do it right now. But I can show you if you want to. I'm probably the best example for this, hm?" He smugly says and you giggle, hitting his shoulder.

"Who knows if you are," You tease and his gaze darkens. He lurches the few inches still between you forward and leans his forehead against yours. "Allow me to show you, baby."

Throughout it he's awfully careful, always asking how you felt, if it was good, etcetera. You enjoyed every second, but your favorite was definitely being cuddled up against him after. You were both naked, except for your underwear, so his body heat warmed you up a lot.

"You were right." He lifts his head and sends you a tired, confused look. "You're the best example." When he gets it he rolls his eyes amusedly, before laying his head back down. You put your hand in his hair and slowly massage his scalp, happy you had him in your life.

[pens-swords-stuff]

Weird writeblr question just because you're one of the writeblrs I specifically remember!! Have you ever had issues with people just not seeing any of your posts? It's gotten to where I can only see my own posts (on other test blogs) if I specifically search for my username. Sometimes also asks I send don't even work, either. Have you got any advice as someone who has a regularly updating blog??

Not really, but that's mostly because I've never checked.

(Can I blame the posts that people don't interact with as a tumblr issue? Because that would be great for my self-esteem).

I haven't been immersed enough into recent tumblr culture so I don't know if I have any super accurate guesses. It might just be a weird tumblr issue, but I think I would check to see if you've been shadowbanned. When I think about not being visible on the website, that's where my mind always goes first. This post might be helpful to you. It's about tagging issues, but I talk about shadowbanning and I've linked a guide to figure out if you've been shadowbanned so check it out!

I believe that they might've fixed this issue, but I know that one thing that happened in the past was if you had a hanging bracket in your ask, it sometimes disappeared because of coding issues? (i.e., having <3 in an ask would not be received because < was a hanging bracket with no >). So maybe something like that could be an issue if that's still a thing?

I've found that @staff has been super responsive lately in terms of issues. So check to see if you've been shadowbanned, and whether you have or haven't, if the issue persists why not try sending them a report? I've gotten really quick responses from them, and they seemed helpful. They're the ones who actually have control and some sort of knowledge about how the website works. Hopefully they'll be able to help if nothing works!

Remember, all advice is subjective! So don’t take this too seriously. This is just one person’s opinion.

If you’d like to ask me for advice on writing or running a writeblr, please check out my Ask Guidelines and FAQ first.

Ask Guidelines | FAQ | Advice Masterlist

[hulahoopingholt]

Hi, this is a weird message but I'm just wondering if you're okay? I have followed you on this blog and your main one for a long time, and I used to check in on your blog almost every day. I noticed that you haven't posted in several months! Anyway, I hope your life is going well and that you're staying safe in these strange times. This isn't meant to pressure you into returning to tumblr, I just get worried sometimes when people disappear!

HI HELLO TO YOU AND TO EVERYONE ELSE I ABANDONED THE PAST FEW MONTHS.

So the tl;dr is that I’m doing well, there’s just been a LOT going on and tumblr just kind of got lost in the crossfire.

The longer version is I just had a LOT of stuff happen all at once and I just didn’t have the time/energy for the tumblr life. Basically........

I have a boyfriend now!!! He was my very first Tinder date on the very first day of the year and somehow it all just worked really well and I am SUPER happy. It is a little bit trickier because he has a daughter so that’s just a new layer I’ve never dealt with in any kind of relationship but it’s all very exciting and seriously he is a gem of a human.

Work got really busy. Like.........just REALLY busy it was insane. But it was normal.

Then a global pandemic hit OOOPS.

And I work in an industry that was heavily impacted by coronavirus, and my role in particular meant I was basically working........allllllll the time. All the time. Seriously who are these people who say that working from home is a breeze and they never do anything because I was working from the moment I woke up until I went to bed way after my usual bedtime and at one point I actually had a mini-breakdown and my boss insisted I take a (free) day off. Shit’s HARD. Things are finally calming down now but

We’ve also started announcing layoffs. I’m not really concerned about my job being impacted (other than the fact we were already told we’re not getting merit raises this year), but.........just not a great environment to be in. 

And I worked at a place a few years ago that went through massive layoffs where my role WAS eliminated so.......it’s icky.

And all through this.......honestly, tumblr kind of started feeling like work? Maybe if I were someone who could be casual about anything it wouldn’t be such a big deal, but just.......keeping up with tags......and content....and adding commentary......even at my MASSIVELY reduced level compared to what I used to do years ago........was just really draining me. So when things started getting busy, first with the happy things with the bf and then with the more stressful things, tumblr was just a really easy thing to give up. I’ll be honest, I missed the people a LOT A LOT A LOT and I’ve thought about all of you a great deal, but tumblr itself.........I’ve been ok without it. 

Real talk, at times tumblr just really stressed me out, in ways I didn’t even fully realize until I left. Like.....I’m currently on S4 of a CXGF rewatch and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I’m not dissecting it or thinking about what other fans are saying or getting caught up in ship wars and I LOVE IT. And don’t get me wrong, I loved all the analysis and such in the moment, I really really did, but........idk I think it just took a certain amount of ~effort and I always knew it did but I didn’t realize quite how MUCH of my energy I was using. I think fandoms are wonderful and amazing and I have a million positive things to say about them, but I think for me personally, it was just using more of my energy than I really had room for at this stage in my life. 

And that’s just FANDOM. Don’t even get me started on current events, etc. that circulate. And I know I could just curate my experience and make my dash the place I want it to be and that’s all well and good but........idk, I think at the end of the day right now I really only have room for a casual commitment to this platform and I’ve never been able to be casual about, um, anything, so just leaving was a better option.

And I’m not saying this is forever either, I literally just logged in and was like OOOOOH WHAT IS GOING ON IN HEREEEEE MAYBE I WILL STICK AROUND. But for the time being, really, I just don’t have the time. For reasons good and bad. 

But I’m doing well and I hope you all are too and I love you dearly and stay safe and healthy and happy and well. 

(Also I just Don’t Do social media in general??? But if you’re on insta I at least check that regularly so if we are mutuals feel free to reach out and I’ll share my name.)

SENDING ALL KINDS OF LOVE!!!!!!