#I hope this even ends up in the fictober tag since tumblr hates me

[evdeanwriter]

Canvas | Original Fiction; T

Fictober prompt #1: “I choose you”

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Trish and Seth were the coolest kids in middle school; so punk rock and not giving a damn. They chose to take Jane under their wing, the new kid, and she memorized the lyrics to all their favorite songs—some of them were like poetry, Jane liked those.

Trish helped her thrift the t-shirts with old British bands so that she could give all her goodie-two-shoes clothes to Goodwill. Seth taught her how to climb out of her window before they all snuck out to her first concert. The venue was stuffy and loud. Jane dripped in sweat and someone else’s beer, but she banged her head just like everyone else. Next time, she brought earplugs, but she never put them in.

The day Jane came back home with a mohawk on her head, mom looked like she was about to get a heart attack. Both about the hair and the stench of smoke. Jane and her best friends had shared a cigarette, while Seth was buzzing the long, mousy strands off the sides of her head. Trish used half a jar of hair gel to turn the chopped up top into thick spikes. Jane shivered when the wind grazed her bare skin.

She got grounded for the rest of the school year and half the summer. By the time August rolled in, Seth and Trish had a bunch of new friends they would be going to high school with.

Michelle was the type of girl who gets crowned the prom queen, not the type of girl who chooses to hang out with someone like Jane. But she needed help with literature classes, and Jane’s essay was loudly praised by the teacher that day. Jane didn’t mind writing two essays instead of one from then on, although making them sound like two different people was kind of tough. Still, she managed to squeeze the task in between shopping with Michelle, getting her hair bleached and nails done with Michelle, and sharing earphones with Michelle when they watched their favorite movies.

They grew inseparable and seen. When they walked down the corridor, the other students parted. Michelle taught Jane how to get perfect pics for Insta and how to flirt with the boys—but never keep them. Even when Jane got grounded for maxing out mom’s credit card, Michelle would sneak into her room through the window and tell her all the gossip from the parties she missed out on.

Until the day the only gossip everyone at school was talking about were all of Jane’s secrets she only revealed to one person, her best friend—her ex-friend—Michelle. At least, there wasn’t much school to suffer through after that, and Michelle moved to LA to become a movie star.

Gregory was like a dream. Law major, handsome, well-spoken, smart as hell. The rich family was a nice bonus, but Jane didn’t care about that. She cared that—somehow—he chose her. On their first date, he took Jane out to a fancy restaurant, the kind with big lobster tanks in the middle. She helped him throw his first charity banquet and the hundredth party on his father’s yacht. For the spring break, he took her to Hawaii, where he surfed and she sunbathed all day, and partied all night. All the girls from her classes were so jealous.

Jane’s mom was, at last, happy with Jane’s choices, because she finally found the right company, a good guy.

And she looked great too, didn’t she? With all the designer clothes and the beauty treatments Greg paid for, with those whitened teeth behind her plump lips. She had to look great; look the part. Not just some eye-candy: she had to act properly and think like a high-class woman would, too. And that’s who she was. In the end, his family grew to love her, too.

By then, Greg loved the free-spirited artist, more, the one he’d been cheating on Jane with for months. She was exciting and spontaneous, she loved poetry, too. She wasn’t proper or high-class. And, most of all, she wasn’t boring—that’s what Greg called Jane when she caught him in flagrante delicto.

Greg made Jane move out of their apartment, into some crappy place she rented with her savings.

It was hard to get used to being all alone, with nothing but Jane as company.

Because Jane is… Who is she, exactly? The heir’s bride (not) to be? The prom queen’s best friend? The punk rocker who doesn’t give a damn? Her mom’s polite, well-mannered daughter?

Looking back, it’s easy to see the string of people coming into her life and overtaking it—all of it—just as she let them. She flocked to others like a bird with no sense of direction; her own North Poles. Once her empty canvas got painted over into exactly what they wanted her to be, they got bored of her and moved on.

Only good for anything when a work in progress—and never hers.

She looks into the mirror. Who is Jane? The mousy roots peeking out from under the golden caramel dye? The puffy eyes from crying, the paling skin, and the lips slowly regaining their old shape and size? She’s shedding the latest layer of herself. Her borrowed self.

Maybe living alone for a while is not such a bad idea? Just with herself, with Jane, whoever she is. Maybe she can discover who she is when she’s not someone else’s chosen girl. She can find out what she likes.

That she likes her hair with no product in it, but a banging winged eyeliner on her face. That she prefers silence to music, and hash browns to caviar. That clothes fit her best when they suit her mood, not her singular identity.

“I choose you,” she says to her reflection in the mirror, feeling only a little awkward. A small smile blooms on her face. “I choose myself.”

[friendofspidermannedleeds]

2020 overview: writing edition 

Tagged by the loveliest and kindest of friends, @momentofmemory​. 

I’m not tagging anyone because I’ve not been around and am sure most have done this by now, but if you’re reading this and you’ve not been tagged and would like to participate please say I tagged you! <3 

1. List of works published this year 

The Kid Really is Smitten (Peter & Happy, Peter/MJ. 233) Nightmares and New Beginnings (May & Peter. 733)  Normal Teenager Stuff (May & Peter. 5+1, 1.8k)  Breaking a Promise (May & Peter, May & Tony. 3.3k) Carry Me (Morgan & Happy. 1.2k)

Fictober 2020 Series  * Works around 1k+ include:  Somebody to Talk To (May & Karen. 1.8k) Fireproof (Happy & Peter. 904) Flight Conversation (MJ & Peter. 967) Incalculable Worth (Ben & Peter. 2.8k) Regrets (May & Peter. 1.2k) A Nice Peaceful Afternoon (Mr. Harrington and the AcaDec kids. 3k) 

Knowing (Peter/MJ, May & MJ. 2.5k)  Forever Ours (May & Peter, May/Ben. 3.8k)  2. Work you are most proud of (and why)

I think it would have to be Incalculable Worth from my Fictober series. I’m forever disappointed in the Ben Parker erasure of the MCU and had been wanting to give him the respect he deserves. Most of this fic came to me much more quickly than my typical writing inspo (that Fictober deadline magic!), and even though I still have things I might change about the final product, I’ve never been so pleased with a fic’s result and reception. Several lovely people stumbled across this fic on Ao3 and left kind comments about how moved they were, which makes me think that I did what I set out to do! 

3. Work you are least proud of (and why)

This would be Nightmares and New Beginnings. I just think it’s weird. I was so new to fic when I wrote it and was feeling experimental one night. I normally write quite slowly and edit a lot, but the idea for this one came to me after midnight and I published the fic before 2am. I hated it when I woke up and nearly deleted it. Two months later, as I was beginning to post Fictober on Ao3, I almost deleted it once again. The words of one extremely kind commenter saved it from destruction, however, so it’s still there! 

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing 

This is going to be hard for me because I don’t actually enjoy my writing for its composition! I like the concepts and character interactions a lot but I’m not terribly proud of my actual writing ability yet. 😬 

My favorite thing I’ve written lately is the ending to Forever Ours, my new fic about May and Ben adopting Peter, but I don’t want to put it here because it might be a very minor spoiler. 

So here’s a little section of Trust, my last Fictober ficlet. I liked it because May’s inner turmoil over Peter’s Spider-Man life is one of my absolute favorite things to write about. 

What troubles her most is this: whatever is out there, whoever he’s fighting—they won’t know he is fifteen. That he’s a child. That he loves Legos, and Star Wars, and science puns, and Mathletes. But what can she say? 

He’s not asking for permission. He’ll do this no matter what she says, and they both know it. 

He is asking for her blessing.

5. Share or describe a favourite review you received

This review meant so much to me! This lovely commenter read multiple May and Ben Parker fics and it was so nice to find that I’m not the only one who wants more of the Parker family than what we get in the MCU. It made me feel like my niche writing wasn’t of interest to me and me alone after all. :) 

6. A time when writing was really, really hard

Halfway through Fictober, I lost one of the most important people in my life. It was devastating. Writing was nice about 90% of the time, and actually a nice distraction that helped me take a break from the grief. But sometimes it wasn’t, sometimes it felt impossible, and that was when I’d just skip writing or posting and wait until it would serve me again. (So I finished Fictober a little later than I wanted to, but I have 0 regrets about that.) 

7. A scene of characters you wrote that surprised you

I only wrote one thing that wasn’t an MCU Spidey fic, and that was Carry Me with Morgan and Happy. I wasn’t expecting to write it at all, and it’s not one of my favorite finished fics, but I really enjoyed the process. 

8. How did you grow as a writer this year

I grew by writing fic for the first time! My job for the majority of this year involved a lot of nonfiction copywriting, so I’m an experienced writer, but I had no idea what writing would be like outside my “professional life.” I’m glad I tried it! 

9. How do you hope to grow next year

I’m hoping to finish and publish a longer (for me) fic! I’m currently working on Penance, a fic about MCU Spidey’s origins and Uncle Ben’s influence. It should be at least 6-7k by the time I’m finished. I know that is actually short, but I haven’t even cracked 4k yet 😂 Longer fics stress me out because I don’t feel confident enough in my ability to tie together so many words, and I also can’t come up with plots to save my life. So this will be a stretch for me and I am looking forward to it! 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta of cheerleader or muse etc. etc.)

This is, without question, @momentofmemory​. For so many reasons. (Sorry in advance for how rambly this will get, my friend.) 

Mem’s writing (particularly this May fic that is perfection and no I will never stop rec’ing it til the day I die thank you) is to blame/thank for getting me into fic in the first place. I’d been here in the Spidey fandom on Tumblr but I didn’t trust fanfic because I’d seen my most beloved characters shoved to the side/killed off in too many stories. I began 2020 hating all fanfic tbh. But then I read Mem’s captivating masterpieces (like this, the greatest one-shot!) and opened my heart to fic that celebrates the worlds I love! 

Mem is the kindest human ever. She read ALL of my Fictober works and left the kindest comments that made my heart soar. Knowing that my favorite author had taken the time to read all of that motivated me to write more than anything else has this year! 

Sometimes, when I was trying to write fic but felt burned out or uninspired, I’d go and read Mem’s writing. Her prose is divine, her dialogue is realistic, her characters and their relationships are so well thought-out--her work inspires me! I’d read it and feel excited by the ways that we can use our words to create beautiful things, and though I’m not anywhere near her level, I do think that reading her work has made me a better writer. 

Bonus positive influence: @i-lovethatforme​! Jess, thank you for being the world’s best cheerleader, for being endlessly kind and supportive, and for being my first ever beta in November. I go back and read your wonderful comments whenever I’m doubting myself. You’re an absolute gem and ilysm ❤

11. Anything from real life show up in your writing this year?

Yep. Regrets is about grief, and I was grieving pretty heavily when I wrote it. Peter’s regrets didn’t necessarily mirror mine, but writing it was still a cathartic experience. 

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers

Write what you want to write! Since I don’t do IronDad or smut, I wasn’t sure if anyone in the MCU Spidey fandom would be interested in my work. I thought briefly about trying to write based on what I thought people would read, but I decided against it. I enjoy writing platonic friendships and family fic more than anything else, so that’s what I publish most. I write what I want to write, and it’s made me so happy! 

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year?

I have a few things I’m excited about! I’ve got some Spideychelle ficlets that might be a series. They’ll focus on Peter and MJ after coming back from The Blip, featuring MJ trying to ignore her crush and Peter developing a crush. The other is Penance, the MCU Spidey origins/Ben Parker story. 

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year

I think I’d say Knowing, my fic about Peter/MJ that’s more about MJ & May bonding. I just love these two women with all my heart, and I’m proud of the way this one turned out because I think it honors both of them pretty solidly.  

15. End of Year word count

36,625 words! It’s not a lot in comparison to other writers but it’s a huge accomplishment for me! 

[emotionalcello-makefanfics]

Ferris Wheel (Jaydick Fanfic for Fictober... Part 1/3)

Prompt number: 12.  “What if I don’t see it?”

Fandom : DCU

Rating: General Audience

Warnings/Tags: No Warnings/ No Powers AU

Summary : 

Dick spotted bloodstains by the Ferris wheel that trails from the bottom cabin to the very top one. What he found inside is a boy can't be older than 15, bleeding down from the stomach, and even so, he refuses to come down from the Cabin.

“I want to see the stars, one last time, just... one last time.” The boy still muses upon the sky, mesmerized. Dick looks up, and the starless sky that’s tinted red from light pollution. Then, with great sorrow and resignation, the boy whimpers, “You ruin that from me.”

Word count : 2k

Part 2

Click link to read on AO3

Click keep reading to read on tumblr~

Dick hears metal clashing and creaking from the pathway towards the entrance area. It could be something, or it could be nothing. In this city of Bludhaven, anything can happen. Maybe it’s just a bird, or trespassing kids – that one is often –, and the worst ones will be if someone plants a bomb, that won’t be the first too.

Just to be safe, Dick turns on his radio and held it a finger away from his lips, “Come in, Wally.”

“This is Wally.”

“I hear a voice near the Ferris wheel, can you cover my grounds for me? I’m going to check it out.”

“Okay, be careful blue wing.”

“You too, speedy.”

The Ferris wheel is not the highest one in town, but it’s always busy during the weekends and holiday season. As he walks down the path, one of the trash bin tips over and spilled across the granite bricks.

Dick leaves that worry later when he sees some sort of stain on the metal structures. The contraption is painted all over, from the carriages to the metal structures in blues and yellows. Going in closer with the help of his flashlight, he sees an odd stain starting from the entrance platform that trails to the support tower and ends at the cabin on top. Red stains.

Dick’s first guess is that someone climbed it to the top. It’s possible, he has seen the maintenance guy climbs it over. Looking closer to the stain on the carriage right on in front of the platform, it seems like blood. He leans closer and sniffs the stain, it smells like iron, but it could’ve been the metal. Still, with the bizarre stain, there’s someone up there. With the probability that it’s blood, that person could be injured. Despite being a disappointingly small Ferris wheel, it’s still a high climb.

Whoever it is at the top cabin is either hiding from something or already dead. Either way, it’s his job to check it out.

“Come in Wally, I think see blood on the Ferris wheel.”

The radio buzzes and clears, “Do you need me for back up?”

Dick thinks it over and follows his gut.

“No, but can you look around the borders? He’s pouring down heavy, maybe he came from the haunted house.”

“Copy that Blue Jay.” Wally signed off.

Dick put his radio back on the holster hanging by the belt. He tips the end of the flashlight up to where the carriage where the bloodstain ends.

“Someone there?” Dick shouts out.

No reply.

“Hello? I can see your blood all over this thing, are you injured?”

Still nothing.

“Want me to call 911?”

Not even a creak on the carriage.

Dick grips the sets of keys hanging on the other side of his hip, grabbing the one for Ferris wheel’s control board and enter the room on the side of the platform.

“I’m going to turn the Ferris wheel on!” Dick warned to probably nothing.

Lights glare from the ride. Pink, yellow and green shine from the rows of lightbulbs on the metal crossmember, three lightbulbs on the hub of the wheel, fairy lights on the side of the cabins,  and more lightbulbs on the legs of the support tower. The song came up next, your basic ‘carnival music’ that they got on youtube.

The wheel starts turning, the brightly colored carriages turn until the cabin where the blood trail ends are in the bottom.

The cabin is a small windowless four-seater, sets of two facing each other, with a metal railing that reaches your chest as the only safety precaution.

Dick flash his lights inside the bloody cabin, expecting the worst, and what’s inside exceed his worst.

There’s a pool of blood at the bottom of the cabin, pouring from the seat, where a boy lays limp across the two-seaters. Damp dark hair sticks on half his face, barely showing it. Dick’s attention goes right towards the damp part of the hoodie where the boy’s bloody hands are clutching, the source of all the red.

“Oh my god, how did you even get there.”

His hands reach out to the boy, and not even halfway towards him, the boy grunts and shows his eyes.

“Don’t touch me,” the boy hisses, glints of wary in his eyes like a feral kitten.

“You’re injured an-”

His mouth freeze open when he –a boy that couldn’t be older than 15– hold a gun to his face.

“Put... put me... back up.” The boy says between panting breath. His eyes a pale blue, even though his blood pools at the bottom of the bright orange carriage, he still has the energy to glare at Dick.

“Kid, if you look down, you can see how much blood you’re losing. You need medical help,” he presses firmly, but he’s scared out of his life for the boy in front of him. He doesn’t know how much this boy bleed before he steps into the carriage, but he might not make it just judging by the pool of blood Dick sees.

“I fucking know that, why do you think I’m pressing on my wounds?” The boy shouts, flailing the gun. “Just... Just let me... Put me back up now!” he growls, taking off the safety of his gun. “Please,” he continues after seeing that Dick is unfazed.

The boy doesn’t hold out the gun too long. His arm gave up and the gun falls to the pool of his blood.

Dick takes the gun in a heartbeat, throwing it away to the bushes then scoops the boy in his arms. In a few wide strides, he carries the boy down the platform’s stairs and lays him down on the brick pathway. The kid is wearing a red hoodie, and a darker red is coming from the side of his stomach, right where the boy’s hand resides.

“Put me... put me back,” he croaks, “Put me back and get me up there.”

“Nope, it’s not your time yet kid.” Dick scrunch up the kid’s hoodie and press on the wound along with the boy’s hand. Dick’s other hand reaches out to his radio, smearing the matte black surface with a thin red hue.

“Wally, I need you to call the ambulance.”

“Are you hurt?” Wally sounds worried.

“No, there’s a kid on the Ferris wheel, he’s bleeding a lot.”

“Okay, right, okay I-I’ll bring first aid kit.”

“Call the ambulance first, he’s rapidly losing blood.”

The other side sounds clamorous and clatter, Wally’s breathing hard like he’s running, “Aah shit, okay, I’ll call ‘em. I’ll be there after bringing some kit, put pressure on it!” and he abruptly hangs up.

A hand grabbed his collar, the same hand that couldn’t even hold the gun straight.

“No, no hospital,” The boy hisses.

“Yes hospital, you’re dying!” his heart starts racing, trying to focus on pressing the wound to calm himself. His hands began to feel cold, trembling when he realized the weight of the situation.

“I just want to be up there,” the boy looks at the top of the Ferris wheel. Colorful lights shine on his adolescent face.

Only then Dick could see his face in detail. Through the colorful lights, his eyes stay blue. There are tear stains down his pale face. Blue-ish bruise peeks on the neckline. Eyes empty as he stares through matter. The boy’s hand no longer presses on the wound, both lay limp between his body. Slowly, he breathes. Breathing out one long sigh, a tear escaped from his left eye.

Upon seeing the barely teen boy, the feeling that resides is fear.

“What’s your name?” Dick asked, leaning close, hoping to get the boy’s attention. Hoping to ignite some kind of light behind his eyes.

It’s futile. “I want to see the stars, one last time, just... one last time.” The boy still muses upon the sky, mesmerized.

Dick looks up, and the starless sky that’s tinted red from light pollution.

Then, with great sorrow and resignation, the boy whimpers, “You ruin that from me.”

Dick’s body stiffens and rigid when electricity strikes his nerves. Pain concentrated from the exposed part of his neck. His body twitched into a spastic mess on the ground. His vision caught the kid standing above him, throwing a taser he recognizes his before he finally passed out.

+++++++

“I told you before, there’s nothing there.”

“How could it not be there!” Dick exclaimed frustratingly, as he keeps clicking the rewind button, replaying the same footage over and over again.

It’s been 30 minutes since Dick came into the surveillance room, which is a small room with three split screens. The only one in charge of the screens is Barbara and some other guy Dick doesn’t know covers dayshift.

There are only a few minutes till the opening time, and Dick is still in his blood-stained uniform. A few dots on his chest, and the ones on his hands he had washed out. Dick has been in this room for 30 minutes and their shift had finished 30 minutes ago.

“I hate to ask, but...” Barbara doesn’t bother to finish, Dick knows what she meant.

“This isn’t the doppelganger incident, I’m not making this up!” Dick Rebukes.

“Okay, okay,” Barbara resigned, not without skepticism.

“I swear, he was running towards behind the Ferris wheel, but!” Dick rewinds the footage shooting towards the Ferris wheel entrance when he replayed it. The footage displays the bottom half of the ride, the platform to step in and the first half of the waiting line. Nothing changes in the footage, not even the grass by the corner.

“Where are the footage where I came in and turn the Ferris wheel on?” Dick points aggressively towards the screen. It buzzes and glitz in every loud tap. “And when I take the boy from the carriage? The Ferris wheel isn’t even on the entire time in this footage!”

“Maybe it’s a glitch, you knew boss’ too cheap to buy better stuff. I’ll write a note to the day-shifters to take a look at it.”

Huffing defeatedly, Dick finally sits back, making the chair creaks, “What am I going to do now? The boy was badly hurt, look at my shirt! There’s blood everywhere!”

“The paramedics say they’ll get back to us for the DNA result. I gave them my number, all we can do is wait.”

“Fine,” Dick exhaled his frustration and stands up abruptly. When looks at Barbara, his annoyance goes down the drain, “Thank you for waiting on me.”

Barbara quirks up her pale pink lips, “That’s why I’m here Dickie. C’mon, we had a long day, let’s get back home.”

++++

The DNA test result came. Barbara told Dick as soon as graveyard shift starts.

“Unregistered?” Dick almost shouts, his voice echo’s through the empty park.

“Uh-huh, the kid is not in the system,” Barbara adds.

“Is it about yesterday’s Ferris wheel ghost boy?” Wally chirps in.

“He’s not a ghost! He’s real, I carried his bloody body in my arms!” Dick tensed on the neck, veins showing under the skin.

“Okay! I’m just jokin’. It’s what the day shifters called it.”

Rubbing his face, Dick breathed out the rest of his frustration, “I just want to know if that kid is alright. That’s all.”

Wally and Barbara share a knowing look to each other, then back to their best friend with a pitying smile.

“Let’s hope he is,” Barbara comforted.

“I bet he is if he got the strength to stand up and tase you, he’ll be fine. Heck, maybe he’ll be back for revenge when you stop him from getting a free ride,” Wally joked.

That one makes Dick smile. He rubs the tenseness on the back of his neck off and looks up from staring at his shoes.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

After their night shift is done and Dick was waiting for Wally by the entrance gate. After taking two steps outside of the locker room, Barbara pulled Wally to the side, whispering.

“Yesterday, did you see the Ferris wheel turned on?”

Wally smiled nervously, “I dunno babs, I was around the walls when Dick called in.”

“This is serious Wally,” Barbara warned. “The Ferris wheel can be seen from your location, and I don’t think the surveillance system is glitchy. I can see your footage just alright when the Ferris wheel allegedly turned on because I didn’t see it. So, did you see it turned on or not.”

Sighing, Wally looks down at his tennis shoes, “No. Not once in the entire night.”