#I just KNOW Oliver ends up in history as a fertility expert not a quidditch icon and it breaks his heart

[teacup-gathering-itself]

Proud supporter of the head canon that Oliver Quidditch-for-brains Wood noticed the recurring pattern that many of the best players he’d ever seen were gay and decided that, post-retirement (or hell even as a side project), he would pursue a Potions and Charms Double Mastery to fix their fertility problem.

Because he saw Harry James Potter, the best Seeker in a century, absolutely obsessed with Draco Lucius Malfoy, a damn good Seeker and an even better Chaser, and wow all those fantastic Quidditch genes are just not even getting passed on. How absolutely unforgivable. That has to stop, and it has to stop now.

Anyways “Oliver Accidentally Gay Wizarding Pioneer and Icon Wood” that single-handedly fixed the massive fertility problem for all wixen just so his favorite gay Quidditch players could make Quidditch prodigy babies.