#I just have so many ideas for blasphemous shitposts

[taonpest]

The Miracle is in retrograde which means that I shall shitpost tomorrow

[mayhapsawitch-blog]

Halloweenie

31 October 2018 (181031) 3:54 PM

Hello to future me and to whoever else is reading this.

I made this little blog after a moment of self revelation and to record stuff that’s happening in my life, or like....a......diary or whatever. Shudders.

As background, these past couple of weeks I have been on Tumblr just meandering around, looking for things to entertain myself with. I had started getting back into reading stuff on Tumblr just a couple of months ago, and had been pretty much exploring around certain music on that side. In real life, I’ve begun taking an interest in astrology and tarot cards, this going on for more than a month or so. Which brings me to the main thing about this post.

It was earlier this month I happened to stumble upon witchblr. It was certainly odd. None of my searches pertained to anything remotely witchy, and to my knowledge no one I followed was involved with that kind of stuff. What was even odder was that I had seen a post (that mysteriously vanished, my memory erasing where I found it from) over Transylvania and the magic of Romania. Needless to say, I tapped on the tag.

I have to admit, I was quite intrigued. As someone who was raised religious and someone who is ethnic, anything remotely supernatural or even magical and witchy terrified the living daylights out of me (and still does). I was around people who ran from the mere mention of it, thinking of it as something scary and almost demonic, staying far away from anything that had to with witchcraft.

So why did these posts say the opposite?

I was immediately enraptured by witchblr. It was so interesting. Most of I saw went against my previous beliefs on witchcraft being used mostly for bad things. The stigma surrounding it for me slowly began to dissipate. I saw people recounting their deity work, posting different spells, talking about candle magic, color magic, and all sorts of things. It was almost beautiful in my eyes at the time.

There was so much to this particular spot of the woods. One night involved me going through a whole thread over hoodoo and Vodou, learning about how the cultural appropriation aspect to it, another night it would be over kitchen magic. There was just so much information to process, so many things to interpret and understand.

What I thought would just be a short few day phase of me finding something to read about and learn turned into something that started to go onto the next week, the week after that, and so on. I started talking to my friends about what I found. “This is really interesting!” I had said. “Not that I would ever get into witchcraft though, I just like learning about what they do and like having more knowledge of things (because I am talentless and read about things to make up for the fact that I am practically an uncultured sewer rat).”

And I would not get into witchcraft. The idea was frightening. The God fearing ethnic in me said no, but the other side kept bringing me back to witchcraft. My friends did tease me about it, one almost seeming to encourage me to get into it regardless. There was even a small running joke that I was one because of certain situations, this increasing when my friend got me a candle very recently, and I joked about using it for witchcraft. Even with my joking, the thought of getting into it was almost blasphemous for me.

Fast forward to today, Halloween, when I was scrolling through a particular witchy account and remembered that it was Samhain. I remembered about the candle and some posts I saw about candle colors and colors in general, and their uses and correlation to certain things. Something inside me started to build up and it was earlier today that I decided to heck with it. Let’s burn a letter to the universe.

Suddenly overcome with motivation, I went to go get paper and wrote down my intentions on it, labeling it as “I Invoke: Samhain Edition.” On it I wrote a lot of stuff that was personal to me along with things that I wanted to manifest, similar to something I’d been wanting to do for years which was writing a letter and just generally burning it asking for help. I kept editing and adding to it, feeling something akin to hope as I poured a little bit of me out.

After writing all of this, I went to go find a lighter for the candle. Oddly enough, there was a large clap of ominous sounding thunder that occurred outside as I shut the drawer in search of the lighter, and I looked outside, vaguely afraid and thinking, “is this a sign?” Yes, yes I am that paranoid about stuff like this.

I finally found the lighter, going to grab my candle and lighter to which another very loud noise occurred and scared the living shit out of me, and sat down in front of the fireplace to pray to the alter that rests above it. I prayed for myself, I prayed for the people around me, and had a talk that I think I kind of needed for awhile. It just felt like it was needed.

My candle was set down onto the letter as I lit it, and I started to whisper my intentions as well, not particularly talking to anyone of the sort, but rather the candle and my letter. It was odd in a sense to me, but still brought me a strange degree in comfort as the flame burned, giving the area a warm light and pleasant smell (bless my friend for giving me a pumpkin spice scented candle, I’ve already said I love you, and if you happen to be reading this, I still do love you for giving me this).

Now done with my moment, I burned the letter, tossing it into the fire place before it could burn me, watching my intentions burn before me (inhaled a lot of carbon dioxide because I didn’t bother to open a window or the vent, pray for my lungs).

I watched it burn some more before blowing out the candle (rip my weak ass lungs for not being able to blow this tiny flame out), thinking to myself, “what now,” and, “.....well this is very very vaguely witchy and kinda awkward now.”

And so the question remains: what now?

I don’t know the answer to that. I’m still on the path of discovery. This has just been for me to literally spill all the bs on my mind. I am indeed still reading about witchcraft. Each day I’m learning more about tarot, astrology, deities, different types of witchcraft, psychic stuff, and other things that do and do not relate to this as well. It’s been super interesting and weird.

I hope to develop more and show my development through this blog and to just generally shitpost. This post truly was just to let out what I’d been thinking about this past month of October and some stuff that’s been going on in my life.

Until next time, I suppose.

Happy Halloween and happy Samhain.