#I just know Eddie was in those showers like what in the rainbow flag is this shit

[maltedmilkks]

“you changed” mf i shit my pants i had to change

[dragonmuse]

Whats the bravest thing lucius has gotten into izzys closest and that he’s actually worn

(I started so many racy ideas here then realized that none of that would get to Izzy more than this) 

He was folding his laundry when he found it. Lucius liked to do that sometimes, stuff something unexpected into the hamper for Izzy to find later like a particularly devious squirrel. There had been some wild shit, including a pair of underwear that Izzy still couldn’t look at unless he wanted to throw off his whole morning schedule. 

This was something else. It was simple enough. Just a black tank top, the kind he wore to go to the gym or run. Except on the chest where a small embroidered logo might go, there was a rainbow. A flag. 

Izzy sat down hard on the bed, holding it in his hands. It wasn’t ostentatious. It was as subtle as a vibrant rainbow could be. But it was saying something. It was announcing something. He rubbed the material between his fingers. It was soft, probably comfortable.  

He folded it and set it on top of his other workout clothes, then pressed the entire pile into a drawer and closed it firmly. Unfortunately, that didn’t close off the thought of it. 

Could he just do that?  

Lucius would. Lucius wore his sexuality like a badge of pride. He dared people to make something of it. It was bravery that Izzy had learned to respect and now, to envy. Before he’d lost Eddy, before his world had shifted so hard on its axis that he no longer recognized it, Izzy had thought he was brave. 

Now he suspected he’d just been a bit dead inside. 

Lucius didn’t bring up the tank top next time he was over. Most of the time he liked to cajole Izzy into his choices, or outright order him which only made it better, but there was a silent agreement that this could not be one of those times. 

There had to just be a day. An ordinary enough day when he was going to the gym and then the grocery store. Nowhere he’d ever felt uncomfortable. It was hot which helped. The kind of summer day when you knew it was going to be boiling by noon just from the heave of the air conditioner. 

He pulled it on and gave his reflection a quick look. He hadn’t changed. It was only a tiny blotch of color.  

The gym was just down the street. He preferred to get his miles in at home, but he didn’t have room for an entire weight setup, so a few times a week he burned an hour or two there. He’d gotten a little lax for awhile, but now there was Jim to keep up with. Not to mention the way Lucius showed his appreciation for a little hard work. 

There was barely anyone out yet, and he walked into the gym without seeing another person. Inside, it was fairly quiet, too early on a weekend day to be crowded. He got in most of his lifting with only a few other familiar faces around him. None of them paid him any mind, too focused on their own workout. 

Just when he was on his last rep on the leg press, Probably A Fucking Cop walked by. Izzy had noticed him enough to mentally tag him. He was closer to Izzy’s age, steel gray hair cut short in a way that screamed law enforcement. They were often here at the same time, but Izzy never talked to anyone and Probably A Fucking Cop didn’t either. 

Except today as he went to pass by, he slowed down. His eyes flicked to the shirt and then, to Izzy’s intense shock, Probably A Fucking Cop checked him out. It wasn’t even subtle, the dragging gaze and the speculative look. 

Their eyes met and Probably A Fucking Cop’s head tilted ever so slightly. The least possible effort into invitation. 

Izzy did fifteen more reps, eyes glued to the tips of his sneakers until he was absolutely positive the guy had moved the fuck on. Jesus fucking fuck. 

“What the fuck do I do with that?” Izzy demanded when he explained the whole thing to Lucius. They were in the bathroom, Lucius showering off the workday. Izzy had just followed him in to rant and Lucius had let him, closing the curtain between them with a wink. 

“You know what I’d do with it,” Lucius laughed. 

“Yeah, I’m not fucking a cop in a public changing room,” Izzy rolled his eyes. 

“Which is why I have more fun than you,” Lucius teased. They both knew that Izzy’s traitorously loyal heart could not deal with fucking someone else, no matter how much else he'd changed. “But Iz, it’s okay just to take it as a compliment and move on.” 

“I’ve never been made like that,” he admitted. 

“I bet you have.” The curtain rustled, Lucius reaching for the soap. “And you just didn’t know it.” 

“How?” he frowned. “I get why it happened wearing that thing but-” 

“I’ve watched it happen to you,” Lucius cut him off. 

“So people just know?”  What a fucking disturbing thought. 

“It’s not like you wear a neon sign or anything. Some people can just sort of tell by the way you look at them or the vibe.” 

“Are you saying people are hitting on me and I don’t fucking notice?”  

“Yeah, goblin,” Lucius was clearly tickled by the idea. “That guy at the camera shop that you always talk about lenses with. Allen?” 

“Alex,” he corrected absently. “What do you mean?” 

“Iz, he is trying his fucking best and it’s actually kind of tragic. He keeps touching your arm and getting into your personal space and you’re just yakking about focus.” 

Alex did do those things. Izzy figured it was just his way, even if it was annoying and he often took deliberate steps backwards to get out of the guy’s zone. Was Alex gay? How was Izzy supposed to divine these things? Was he going to need to find another camera store? Because it had taken ages to track that one down.

“Sometimes I feel like I was supposed to get a fucking manual,” he groused. 

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Lucius huffed. “What are we eating tonight?” 

“You want ribs?” 

“Fuck yeah I do.” 

Izzy kept the shirt in rotation. It became an experiment in what he saw in other people. Did they look away, did they meet his eye? His barber, the same guy that had cut his hair for four years, had visibly relaxed when he saw him. He didn’t ask anything more personal than he ever had, but he was chattier in a way that wasn’t too annoying.

Some people were shitty, but Izzy expected that. Humans were shit all the time. He hadn't been expecting the way it made him feel a part of something. The way two woman walking together on the street would glance at him and one of them might smile or the way a cashier might be a little more chipper with giving him his change. It was a network of silent understanding that he had never noticed before.  

Like so many of the tiny gifts Lucius had given him, it was far bigger than Izzy would have imagined. 

[aubaskin-blog]

about me!

so i found this 150 random questions thing so im gonna answer them all cool? cool. (link to original post at bottom)

1. ) What’s better, having high expectations or having low expectations? Low expectations because if you expect the worst, you'll never be disappointed. If the worst happens you'll have expected it, and if it ends up good you'll be happier (I learned that from the Ranger's Apprentice books)

2.) Would you rather go without junk food for a year or go without TV for a year? Junk food because I eat wayyyyy too much junk

3.) Describe your perfect man/woman. Honestly, I'll know the best when I see it. I can't just imagine a perfect person

4.) Thoughts on school dress codes? Good to a point, but can be stupid. My school has a 'no shoulders' rule which is stupid af, but I understand they want people to wear actual clothes to school

5.)Any strange phobias? Nope I'm boring

6.) At what job do you see Donald Trump best fit? A business leader. The country is not a business to be run, and he shouldn't be running it

7.) Who was your first crush? A kid named Pranav in 5th grade. He left our school but I still follow him on Instagram

8.) Who was your first best friend? Two girls named Maggie and Cara (or something like that) in 3rd grade. Cara moved and Maggie stopped being friends with me the next year, although I still see her around sometimes

9.)What is one weird thing about you? I say my hobby is reading, but 99% of the time I'm reading gay fanfiction

10.) Top 5 TV shows you like to watch? The Flash, Supergirl, Forensic Files, Voltron: Legendary Defender, and Pokemon

11.) What are your favorite boys names? Elliot and Oliver

12.) What are your favorite girls names? Ellis, Eden, Athena, unique names like those

13.) Do you have any tattoos? If so, what are they? Nope

14.) Do you plan on getting (more) tattoos? If so, what do you want to get as of the moment? I want some but I want them to be meaningful and all my ideas now are fleeting ideas

15.) Do you have any piercings? Do you plan on getting more? I got my ears pierced a looooong time ago but I stopped wearing earrings after my sister had to get her earlobe stitched together when her earring went through the bottom of her earlobe. I don't even want to wear earrings now

16.) Do you like hugging people? YES I'm a super touchy person and hugs are wonderful

17.) Think of ANY person on earth right now.  Who did you think of? My mom. First it was Newt Scamander before I remembered that he's fictional

18.) Do you have an iPhone? iPhone 8, yes

19.) What is the worst thing that could happen in your life right now? My phone breaks and can't get replaced for a while

20.) Do you watch anime? I used to watch it a lot more but I watch it in like, bursts of a single show over a few days and stop for a while and do it again

21.) What brings true happiness? Love and contentment

22.) What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever paid for? I honestly have no idea

23.) If you could have any job in the world and get paid millions of dollars a year for it, what would you be and why? A stay-at-home reader. I wouldn't have to do anything but read and that's what I do all the time anyways

24.) Do you want children? If so, how many? Yes, 2 or 3 depending on what my partner wants

50.) Have you ever been in a physical fight? No way

51.) When you get out of the shower, do you towel dry, blow dry, or air dry your hair? Towel dry, then air dry once I'm tired of hauling a towel around on my head

52.) When you go to the movies, what snacks and drinks do you take with you? I buy them there or don't have any at all (but I like Sprite and candy like Skittles or Sour Patch Kids)

53.) Do you like going to the beach? If so, do you like to stay dry or go in the water? If not, why? I don't really like the beach but if I'm there I'll have fun. I only go in the water if it's warm (it's usually not)

54.) Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Only if I have to. Not usually though

55.) If you could have a superpower ASIDE from being invisible or being able to fly, what would you have? Being able to fill things up. Need money? Fill up my wallet/bank account. Want to stop talking to someone? Fill up their bladder. You can even fill up your phone battery :D

56.) If you were able to live for however long you wanted to (i’m talking thousands of years without aging), when would you choose to die? Whenever I decided I was done living and that there was nothing else for me on Earth

57.) What do you think happens after you die? It fades to black, like falling asleep except then your conscious disappears forever (I don't like thinking about that part, it's what makes me scared of dying)

58.) Do you believe in aliens? If we exist there has to be someone else out there

59.) Do you believe in ghosts? No but they still scare me

60.) Do you believe in spiritual things like ouija boards, tarot cards, and crystals? Do you believe they are portals for evil entities to enter the mortal world? No and I think Ouija boards are stupid but the rest are fun to just play with. I'm not spiritual at all

61.) If you could make one mythical being real, who/what would you make? Unicorns but they would be poached for their horns so I want to make sure they don't all go extinct so they can fly away in a rainbow burst to avoid hunters

62.) Do you get tan, or do you burn? Both but tan first (I think). SUNSCREEN IS VERY IMPORTANT

63.) Describe your shower routine. Shampoo, body wash, rinse out shampoo and body wash, conditioner, wait a little bit, rinse conditioner

64.) Do you enjoy school? Why or why not? Yes because of my friends, no because of homework and stress

65.) In your opinion, what is the worst way to die? Long and painfully. Short deaths sound better.

66.) Do you get carsick, sea sick, or airplane sickness? I kinda get seasick, and I used to get carsick but that's gotten better. Airplanes I just get bored

67.) What’s one memory that you wish you could live again and again? I don't think I would want to continually live a memory tbh

68.) What were some of your stuffed animal’s names from when you were a kid? I had a lavender colored stuffed dog...it was named 'Purple Doggy'

69.)Do you have any pets? Yes, one black lab named Sarah and two identical white sister cats named Tammi and Sammi

70.) Describe your daily wardrobe. Graphic t-shirt and jeans/jean shorts. Jacket or sweatshirt if its cold

71.)  Describe what your daily wardrobe would be if you were rich. Probably the same, ngl

72.)  Create a character right now.  Give them a name, age, and character description. Ellis, 19, had to quit college to support her younger brother, works at a bookstore, light brown wavy shoulder length hair and green eyes

73.)What was the last thing you bought? A fidget toy and a book called '3000 Questions About Me'. And a wonder where I came up with this idea.

74.) Have you ever bought a CD? What band was it for? My sister bought a Taylor Swift CD when she was like 8, but I only have Sims games and a movie on CD

75.) Describe your perfect ice cream sundae. Vanilla ice cream, sprinkles, a little bit of chocolate sauce, three cherries because sundae cherries are good

76.) If you could make ANYTHING happen right now with no cost, trouble, or obstacles, what would you do? Make myself have the marching band music good and memorized lol that's really getting me

77.) What are some of your favorite physical activities to do? I don't do physical activity

78.) What were some of your favorite shows as a child? Dora, Zoey 101, iCarly

79.) Describe how you would survive the zombie apocalypse.  I wouldn't

80.) What are some things you shouldn’t say at work? “Wow, my boss really sucks”

81.) If you were told that if you killed someone, you would save 100 people, would you do it? Yes but it would probably haunt me

82.) How’s the weather right now? Sunny, kind of windy, warm (I'm just looking outside)

83.) What is the background on your cell phone right now? A picture of a city I got from Google

84.) Is it better to work at a job that you love or a job that pays well? Job you love

85.) What do you have within arms reach of your bed? My phone charger, alarm clock, an IKEA cart with a bunch of random stuff, usually my glasses, anything else I leave on the window sill

86.) Have you ever been fired from a job? If so, why? Being fired would require having a job in the first place

87.) Have you ever won a trophy, prize, or medal? If so, for what? I've gotten a decent number of soccer medals from my childhood, and I got two regional and one state trophies from DI (Destination Imagination) when I was in 4th and 5th grade. I haven't gotten any actual individual awards

88.) Do you have any posters, pictures, or art hanging on your walls in your room? If so, what are they? I have a pride flag, and a galaxy calendar from last year just for the pictures. No art though

89.) Are you afraid of the dark? If so, why? Not really, but I don't like running up the stairs at night when the house is dark. I get scared of what could be behind me

90.)What is something that you’ve never done but would like to try? Skydiving, lots of stuff with my friends, nothing in particular

91.) If you could choose three famous people or characters to be friends with, who would you choose and why? Hermione Granger-she's a genius and sassy af, Newt Scamander- his hair is the best omg I love him and his actor (Eddie Redmayne :))) ), and John Laurens (from Hamilton)- he deserved better. So much better.

92.) Do you smile at strangers when you pass by them on the street? Sometimes, but it can get creepy fast

93.) Do you have a favorite TV commercial? If so, what is it? I probably do, but I can't think of one in particular

94.) Do you like your handwriting? When it looks good, yes

95.) Cable TV or Netflix? Netflix, but I tend to watch cable more

96.) What are your favorite smells? Vanilla, black cherry and s'mores

97.) Do you consider yourself physically strong? Lol no way

98.) Describe a time where you said something really rude or mean, whether intentional or not. I can't think of a particular time but a good portion of the time if I say something mean I mean it and they deserve it.

99.) Do you ask strangers to pet their dogs? Of course, it's very rude other wise. If this is about petting dogs, you bet your ass I'm petting a dog if I can.

100.)What is your most embarrassing moment? I can't think of anything in particular but I've misspoken more times than I can ever count or remember. Those don't always end the best.

101.) Has anyone really close to you ever died? If so, who was it and how did you handle it? No, the closest was my grandpa but weren't close. I didn't really care...which sounds horrible but I've become desensitized to this stuff

102.)  Describe your plan of action if you were home alone and you heard someone break into your house. Grab my phone and keys and run outside, drive my car up the street and call 911. If I can't get my keys, hide behind a neighbor's house and call 911 from there

103.) If you were to be born again, would you want to be born male or female? Male because being a female kinda sucks. Plus it'd be cool to experience both sides of the equation

104.)  What shampoo do you use? Kirkland. Conditioner too

105.) Guess the meaning of this word: ulotrichous. Atrocious because that's how it sounds (both meanings)

106.) Do you let messages (phone, email, text, social media, etc…) build up, or do you have to look at them right away? Text and email notifications especially make me anxious, I have to look at them, even just so the number goes away. I don't get many texts in the first place though

107.)  Where is the nearest McDonalds to your house? Super close, I've walked there before. (Google maps says 1.1 miles)

108.)  If you had $1 billion and you had to spend it in exactly one week, what would you spend it on? A big house, cars, and as much stuff as I could think of. The rest goes into a bank account. Actually, all of it goes into a bank account

109.) What is the best thing you’ve ever eaten? Those store-bought sugar cookies. There's probably something else but I'm blanking. I've had good sushi before though.

110.) If you could go on a trip around the world with up to three people, who would you bring (they can be people you know personally or famous people). My friend Connor, one celebrity he wants and one I want. Maybe John Mulaney? He's super funny.

111.) What expletive/ explicit phrase do you say most often? Probably hell. The other two main ones make it in a lot too though

112.) What is your personal definition of success? Being happy with where you are in life or your job or whatever, not needing to be further than you are

113.) How was your day today? It's been pretty okay, actually. Nothing tragic has happened yet lol

114.) What is the closest Big City you live by? I'm gonna go BIG city because privacy so of the main four (LA, NYC, Houston, Orlando) in the USA, New York City

115.) Have you ever been in a car accident? No but I hit my mom's car backing out of the driveway and scratched off some paint and dented my car a bit (whoops)

116.) Do you hide anything from your parents? Everything on my phone. Everything.

117.) If you could possess one talent, what would you be able to do? Is having a good memory a talent? Because I want a really good memory. And art abilities.

118.) Ugly and smart or beautiful and stupid? Ugly and smart lol

119.) What is the worst thing you’ve ever seen in real life? When we took a trip to South Carolina there was a massive, 3 inch long spider whose web was next to the front door. I cried.

120.) Use only 3 words to describe how you want your future to go. Happy, rich-ish, comfortable

121.) QUICK! give me a few things a brick could be useful for! Throwing at somebody's head and killing them (wtf me)

122.) If you could make a dream society, describe it in great detail where it would be, who would be in it, and what rules there would be? No discrimination, no crime, everyone happy and nice

123.) If you could make any animal miniature, what would you make and why? A dog because my dog is looking at me right now like she wants a miniature her

124.) What are your favorite candle scents? I don’t use candles, my mom hates open flames. I have burned some vanilla tea candled though

125.) If you HAD to have one plastic surgery, what would you get and why? The bridge of my nose, I'm self-conscious about it because it's lower than it should be as a result of many, many years of glasses. I usually wear contacts now though.

126.) Do you prefer to hang out with the same sex or the opposite sex? I mostly hang out with my same sex friends for long periods and my opposite sex friends for shorter periods. I would have to say opposite ex friends because I'm closer to them.

127.) If you could make a charity, what would the profits go towards? How would you raise money for it? The money would go towards lgbt+ kids and supporting them, especially if they don't get support from their parents or can't tell them. I would raise money through online advertising on sites like Tumblr and Instagram because they tend to have higher lgbt+ populations. Also through popular Youtuber donations if possible.

128.) Describe the body you wish you had. Skinnier, a better smile, less facial hair, blue or green eyes.

129.) If you were a famous director, what would your next movie be about? Describe the plot, characters, and possible title. Something soulmates and m/m. A romance movie, but they're meant to be together because of something (tattoos, colors, etc). They meet and both like each other, but it's only when they realize they're soulmates they confess and fall in love and it's the happy, fluffy masterpiece all Tumblr kids wish existed. (Call Me By Your Name got pretty far though)

130.) If only women were to rule the world, how different would the world be by 2050? More equality, male supremacy protests, everything would probably be better tbh.

131.) What is your favorite alcoholic drink? I'm 16

132.) Do you have a problematic friend? YES and she's not my friend anymore

133.) Are you more spontaneous or more of a planner? Both at the worst moments. I'll plan out my day (which won't work out) and be spontaneous when it comes to tests: "Crap I forgot about that I'll study the bell before" which sometimes actually manages to work.

134.) If you could change your full name, what would your name be? Something with more meaning and better initials

135.) What is one song that describes your life? The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars (there are probably better ones but eh)

136.) What is one show you’ve been meaning to watch but can never find the time for? I've been halfway through Pokemon: XY for over a month

137.) Do you find it easy to drop toxic people from your life that you’ve known for a long time? It depends. If I see them a lot, no. Once I stop seeing someone irl it's too easy for me to drop someone. If they do something really bad and all my friends feel that way then it's super easy

138.) Do you like children? Why or why not? In general yes but I don't want to be around them 24/7 (aka why I like being home alone without my three younger siblings)

139.) What is your zodiac sign? Taurus

140.) Do you like to dance? Do you dance often? In front of other people? No I suck at dancing, but I do rock out to music

141.) Name some of your favorite colors. Grey, black, purple, blue

142.) Have you ever shoplifted? If so, what was it? I've thought about it but no, I haven't

143.) If you could speak three additional languages, what would they be? Spanish, French and some random language I can surprise people with. Like Dutch or something.

144.) Have you ever been in legal trouble? Nope! I'm an innocent child

145.) Have you ever had surgery? No and I hope I never have to

146.) If you could change 2 things about yourself, what would you change and why? My smile and my motivation levels. Smile bc it looks terrible and motivation because I actually need to get stuff done sometimes. And mental health.

147.) What do you want done with your body after you die? Cremation, I guess. I don't want to become a firework or anything

148.) What three physical features do people compliment you most on? What do they say about them? I don't really get compliments; my mom likes my hair though. It's wavy after I shower

149.) If you could have your own business, what would you do? Make things for lazy people that people are surprised that they needed (but actually do need)

150.) What current friend do you have that you’ve known the longest? My friend Amanda, since the start of 6th grade. We're going on 5 years now!

yay now you should try these the original post is here and feel free to ask me any other questions bc i like talking to internet strangers :)