#I just read the chapter where Ren shows up if you couldn't tell

[meliohy]

S1 Bam: I'm sorry Sir but would you like to perhaps become friends with me? (｡◕‿◕｡)

S3 Bam: Dude your vibes are so rancid even a newborn would make fun of you. I could beat you in my sleep (｡⌒‿⌒｡)

[senblades]

Tell us about the planning doc!!!

thank you very much for indulging me HAHA

So I started writing the planning doc like. When I really shouldn't have LMAO- I wasn't busy right then, but I was absolutely about to be. Oh well! What's done is done.

The planning doc is, essentially, a full outline of all the plot of fftsr, told exclusively in dumb jokes and memes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Or, well, more accurately, a dumping ground for all my ideas in chronological order, marked with dates and some (emphasis on SOME lmao) of the confidant rank ups for Akechi and Ren.

I'll share some of the outline already written in chapters to get my point across: (UH MAJOR AND MINOR SPOILORS FOR FAITH FOR THE SECOND RUN- earlier chapters, mostly)

As you can see, not everything from the doc makes the cut. Sometimes things just don't work anymore, or I can't quite find a place to shoehorn it. I'm pretty sure a line showing how Sumire was struggling without a team never made it into the chapter- or, if it did, it was so negligible that it doesn't even matter.

Plus, I definitely hadn't figured out all the scene-by-scene POV's by that point. The "April 18" bullet point implies that scene might have taken place from Sumire's POV, but the final chapter actually has it as Ren's.

I also put all my Metaverse powerpoint slide intermittently as they become relavent. I'm not actually sure if this explanation ever made it into a chapter... I think Akechi might have implied it? But I don't think it was ever spelled out, since I couldn't find a smooth way to do it. Oh well! Here it is now!

There's also outlines of character conversations and motivations, as expected. The level of detail within the planning doc is VERY uh. Well, it's dependant on a lot of things. There are some major beats that I just hadn't thought of until writing the actual chapters, but some of the character-related convos that are more centred to the plot got written down pre-writing chapter 1

From memory, I think the above scene also changed slightly in the final fic. Sometimes what I write as character motivations in the planning doc ends up being VERY DIFFERENT by the time I get to the actual chapter. And, sometimes, the characters just run away with a scene HAHA

Speaking of character convos, some of my jokes in the planning doc made it, almost word for word, into the fic's chapters. Akechi hysterically wondering if Rank 3 is the "deepest darkest secrets" Rank Up is something that I wanted to immortalise lmao

As you can also see, though, not all of the confidant rank-ups were planned- Magician rank 2 is implied, but I didn't actually know what it was going to be at the time.

And then there's the confidants I didn't have planned at ALL:

(UH SPOILERS UP UNTIL CHAPTER 46)

The Tower and the Aeon are the worst offenders of this: I retroactivaly added the Aeon into the planning doc- an easy feat, since it coincides with the Justice, but just know that it absolutely wasn't there originally lmao. The Aeon came about in two stages, if I'm remembering correctly- I wrote the dream sequence where Ren didn't remember shit, but some vision of Crow was there and did remember, pretty much on a whim, and then thought "okay what if that kept happening though"

I think that descision was one of the best things I could have done lmao- it made October third MUCH more exciting to write (and, I assume, to read)... (originally Metatron was not a factor in the boys remembering- just some annoying headaches and visions. Shadow Maruki was also a last-second addition! While Ren was off galivanting with Crow, I wanted to give Goro something interesting to do as well. So! Impromptu therapy session)

Now the Tower... I did have some. uh. Plans, for cognitive Akechi right from the start; I can't remember my exact thought process for when I started cooking for this confidant, but I think I saw a comment on Throw Away Your Mask explaining why the Tower was particularly apt for the character it's used for in that fic, and thought "wait I can cook with this". or something HAHA I can't quite remember. (I was also VERY MUCH inspired by Marigolds and A Tale of Two Tricksters for all of that... (love those fics you should read them if you haven't))

All of the PT's rank ups are missing from the planning doc, too. I knew I wanted to have all of them as confidants, but I had no idea what their arcana was going to be, or when those confidants would start or rank up.

I unfortuantly can't share some of my best jokes from the planning doc, since I'm joking about MAJOR SPOILERS from future chapters HA

ty very much for letting me gush lmao <3 <3 <3

[nameification]

🌈💞💌 for the fic writer asks?

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

this one applies to both polaroids and the taken fic but like. for the taken one specifically I am so disappointed bc. I only did the chapter for ren and I really wanted to add the grian chapter but I just couldn't bring myself to do it and there's an entire scene where I use my knowledge abt 19th century clockworks and also what I've been told abt menory illnesses and just 19th century knowledge but I cannot bring myself to work on it no matter what. I also remember planning the etho chapter because I had Ideas for that. for polaroids I had like. a sort of corkboard in my mind abt just what to do and I wanna rewrite it and then ALSO This Place Is Not A Place Of Honor and I have like. one chapter written and a few illustrations already when I just. gave up

💞what's the most important part of the story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammer etc), the figurative language

OKAY SO when reading, it is always to me character and/or grammar. I've clicked off so many fics i thought would be interesting bc the characters were just Wrong. I can excuse grammar sometimes and if I can tell a fic will just have shit grammar I might click on it out of morbid curiosity (ahem that one time I liveblogged a fic in class) but I've built up enough resilience against subpar grammar to be. fine with it as a reader

as a writer, what I said above but also the figurative language because there's something about using a metaphor that hits just right for that specific character in that specific moment that feels so satisfying. when writing characters you don't want them to feel Off in a way that would make a reader unsatisfied and its okay to have a few grammar errors in fic (especially common ones, fic is free and beta readers are hard to come by) but just. be careful

💌share something about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited

OKAY so I actually have plans for some star rail fics but they're not fully realized yet and they're going to be infinitely more planned than what I have planned as fics for poor alhaitham but for now I wanna do clara & svarog fics where its just slice of life (and then a fic of when clara is grown up bc I write angst for a reason. robodad and his human child give me so much joy I love them So Much), a luocha and welt fic, a welt and void archives fic (copius amounts of Gay. old men yaoi. I have to finish apho 2 before this one because I still haven't done that) and also a fic with kafka (and maybe elio) in it (the heavens knows I'll be able to finish... one of those. maybe two)

anyways here's some snippets from wips wherein I hurt alhaitham the one on the left like. half-scrapped but only half-scrapped cause I still wanna work on it. it'll just take A While to do so

(I actually really like the writing style I chose for the one on the left cause its like. dottore's thought process and inner mind and. actually I want to show more I love how I wrote the first part so much and technically I can call it done but it would be injustice to the hurt part of hurt/comfort if I just stopped there)

I need to write in this style mor. it works best when the character is acting-to the beat of my vocabulary-Out There and Wild but a "softer" scene has been laid out by past me and I think I can utilize the way I write him to turn him into a threat even if 3rd person limited only limits us to outsider reactions of his character

actually just. about this fic in general is that I plan for it to have 3 really long chapters with the third being the longest (because thats where all the comfort will take place) and the first two are gonna be strictly in third person limited while the third one will also probs be 3pl except I change which character that perspective belongs to but I'm gonna try to limit myself to as few pov shifts as possible

oh god its 130am here. I like to ramble don't I. If I feel it I might ramble in the morning

[meeblo]

TBWF Reread Ch1

This one will have spoilers for further in the series, so read at your own risk if you aren't up to around ch25.

I especially like how the chapter covers look in the screentone heavy style of the early series.

"The sky looked noticeably vast today" connects back to the first color page in chapter 1 and the panel of Ren looking directly upward as he falls, continuing that small motif through the start of the series. This is also the only time Ren's dad is mentioned to my knowledge, with confirmation he's dead. Sheds some light onto what Ren's life was like prior, though you don't really see what his life was like until Springtime of Yuuth gives a look at what his home situation is like.

ch01p02 inverts ch00p14, with a mostly black page where Yuu calls to Ren at the top for ch00p14 and Lord Devil speaks Ren's name at the bottom of ch01p02. The difference is that while the ch0 page is from Yuu's point of view and thus the black section is solid, in ch1 it's from Ren's point of view so we get his internal monologue cutting into the void.

ch01p04 is the first full art page aside from the color view of the sky, an impactful way to show Ren's new situation. "Please tell me this is heaven" paired with obviously demonic imagery is a nice bit of irony.

ch01p05 shows an early look at Ramia's powers. It's visually consistent with when we see them actually used a while later, which is a nice touch. LD being a smug bastard and Ren being in denial on page 6.

The pages of Ren seeing the fabricated vision LD created followed by LD saying "are you ready to face reality" are great before you know but absolutely masterful when you have full context. On a first read, Ren is seeing his own horrible death, being forced to cope with it, and having to accept the situation is a great way of setting in the series' tone after the lighter but ominous chapter 0. On a reread though, when you know Ren didn't die and that the vision is fully fabricated, it's a sickening scene to see just how deeply Lord Devil manipulated Ren from the start.

ch01p12 is the first obvious sign of LD's bad vibes, with the speed lines and way the text "grab" is written showing the forcefulness of LD grabbing Ren, followed by the emotionally manipulative "you should be happy". Ren on p13 is so indignant that he has the courage to object to that, but even Ramia speaking (no offense Ramia but you're not the most intimidating) is enough to get him to meekly back down immediately. Page 14, LD smirks as Ren is falling apart, while Ramia notes his reaction.

p15, with the manipulative "I'm thinking of giving you a chance" Lord Devil is framing himself as oh-so-generous and benevolent. Ren is still in shock and highly vulnerable to manipulation and suggestion, and that's exactly what will happen.

My Art

This idea is something I had for a while, but I ended up just cutting my losses after starting over multiple times. I couldn't get what I had in my head down. In my head, LD would be more hunched forward, the arm shape even more exaggerated and... shapey? is that a term? as he looms over the scene. I imagined more of an abstract transition from his robes into the scene, but I didn't really know how to communicate that so his robes are just sort of opening like curtains here. Doesn't really make sense since it looks like he's just directly on top of it rather than looming over it.

I realized he looks like he has no legs in this drawing and I tried to lasso and move things, but I wasn't able to move everything at once since it was all on different layers and gave up.

For the future drawings I'm definitely just going to do sketches.

[king-maven-calore]

*asks about Mare's M scar turn into another episode of Annie overanalyzing YA books*

this is your fault guys. In trying to make sense of Mare's "decision" to keep the scar, and reading your takes on the matter I started to wonder if there was something more to it than what is offered as an explanation in Mare's PoV. Some parts of the story can't be taken at face value and still expect them to make sense in the established narrative.

⚠️ LONG POST AHEAD ⚠️ and I apologize in advance for my limited English to try to elaborate on such a complex subject.

Anon #1 said: I AGREE WITH YOU SM. I don't understand why Mare kept the scar. Imagine having to explain to your children how you got it...

Anon #2 said: Same. Personally I think she shouldn’t keep it. She claims that she keeps the scar so that it can always remind her of who Maven truly is, but there are literally multiple reminders to remind of who he is. Like the entire Nortan government changing. He was the cause of everything and it caused a domino effect. He caused Shade’s death, babies dying, etc. so all that should be a reminder of who he is imo.

@lucy-the-cat said: Well, in King's Cage she held onto the brand as proof that Maven was irredeemable and didn't deserve sympathy. This framing continued in War Storm, where Mare weaponizes it during the meeting. After killing him, she probably kept it to reassert to herself that she made the right choice.

After killing him in War Storm, she needs to reassert to herself that she made the right choice. Remember that strange scene where she talks to Cal and is all “You’re mad at me for killing your brother” and he’s very confused and she insists “You are you just don’t know it yet”? She’s projecting her guilt over Maven’s death onto him, and in Broken Throne, she sees Cal grieve for the brother that never was, and fears succumbing to the same.

War Storm has a passage where Cal discusses healing some of his scars and Mare retorts that some things should be remembered. But here’s the thing: When a scar heals, the memory of how you got it doesn’t disappear. It’s about not ACTIVELY reminding yourself of it every time you look in the mirror.

That’s self-harm logic. And Mare has always been prone to self-harm, what with her keeping Maven’s letters and admitting to scratching herself in King’s Cage. She got better about it as the books went on, but to me the brand is proof she never fully grew out of it. Maybe she did eventually but humans will do anything to rationalize continuing what we’re already doing.

And yeah, I can see Cal giving up and being like, “FINE I’ll enable you” lol

I think we can all agree that the use of the scar during WS makes sense from a propaganda standpoint, also as a reminder for herself because at that point in the story Maven is still alive and kicking it.

In a world where erasing scars completely is a possibility, it's very interesting that the protagonist chooses to keep it after it served its purpose in the plot. Hence, my problem with the scar starts after the main plot arc ends, when Maven is already gone and the sole presence of the mark becomes a source of retraumatization for Mare.

I really like lucy-the-cat's psychological explanation and I couldn't have worded it better myself. On the other hand, in literature, a wound tells a story.

A scar is a narrative inscribed into the hero's skin, granting them authority over the lived ordeal. Think of the term "Battle scars" something that men used as badges of honor, as proof that they fought in a romanticized war and proved themselves to a patriarchal society that deems violence a form of authority.

Mare takes this conception when she is trying to convince Montfort to go against Maven.

Traumatic memories lack verbal and narrative context; rather, they are encoded in the form of vivid sensations and images (a "death imprint"). The traumatic memory gains destructive force not for the link to the past, but for the repetition in the present of the event that hasn't been fully processed yet.

“You had some scars removed.”

I can only shrug. It’s been weeks since I had a healer erase the older scars across my back and ribs, wiping away the raised edges of white, knotted flesh. Wounds unbecoming of a king. (...) “Some things don’t have to be held on to.”

Her eyes narrow. “And some things do, Cal.”

I can only nod in silent agreement, unwilling to follow her over the precipice of that particular conversation. It won’t lead us anywhere productive. (War Storm ch 23)

If we take a look at the dichotomy of Mare's choice with Cal's, and how it relates to their character arcs, we can see a very common device used in media that employs the damaged body to show the state of the character's soul.

In mainstream media such as Beauty and the Beast, Star Wars, Moon lovers (a K-drama) the redemption of the male protagonist's soul, the ending of their journeys, is marked by the restoration of the body either by transforming back into human (the Beast), the healing of a scar (Kylo Ren/Ben Solo, and Wang So), just to mention a few.

At this point in the story, Cal is nearing his final redemptive act by stepping down from the throne, while Mare is reaching her final destructive act, Maven's murder.

I have scars of every kind, from Maven’s brand, from wounds not properly healed, from my own lightning. But I am not a ruin. Not yet. (WS chapter 8)

What I mean to say is, the scar is as much of a choice as the destruction of her soul in the name of the greater good, which isn't much of a choice at all (narratively speaking). And the permanence of the brand even when in canon she could simply have it healed is the metaphorical repressentation of her healing journey. The healing journey that barely fucking starts at THE END of War Storm, as we all know from the infamous epilogue.

Anyway, I hope that made sense. Here's the article mentioned above ("Scarred narratives and speaking wounds").

[kylorengarbagedump]

Hi there and happy holidays!!♡ I just wanted to take the time to thank you for sharing the gift that is your writing. I finished FYA two days ago, and I cant even begin to tell you all the things it made me feel. Like I couldn't stop reading. Whenever I was interrupted I got angry. I looked forward to reading it when I was busy and not home, replayed it in my mind, I stayed up all night to finish it. I just. Whew. I gasped whenever Kylo was even MENTIONED, every interaction made me feel elated+

wandering-poetess said to kylorengarbagedump:

My heart broke whenever they fought or he was acting like a douche, the smut was top notch and it turned me on, whenever he said something like "I never forget you" or just allowed himself to be vulnerable or showed affection, even in his twisted ways, GIRL when I tell you I just had to take a break and stare at my ceiling. My heart literally jumped. It just made me feel so many things to the point where it overwhelmed me but in a good way? The thrill of it was so magical. I'm so grateful to you

wandering-poetess said to kylorengarbagedump:

And the way you describe feelings and thoughts is just unbelievable. It's like you articulate things I can relate to but didnt know how to describe?? Idk if it makes sense but so many words just hit home in a way I will never get over. And the conflicts, the twists and turns, the ending!!!! So cathartic!!! WHEN HE SHOWED HER HE LOVED HER INSTEAD OF SAYING IT? Again, i will never get over it. this is getting too long but I just need you to know no other piece of writing has made me feel like this

wandering-poetess said to kylorengarbagedump:

I even told my sister the entire plot to FYA tonight and just relived all the frustration, love, lust all over again. Oh, Kylo Ren, Tf have you done to me, you gorgeous, emotionally unavailable, dominant, agressive, tall, huge, beast of a man???? Im not complaining tho And your mind is just... a fountain of greatness and brilliance. And I'm so happy I came across it. And I'm ON CLOUD NINE after finding out you're writing a sequel. I cant wait to see how their relationship develops ♡

wandering-poetess said to kylorengarbagedump:

I'm so sorry for all these asks, and I cant promise this wont happen again considering now I'm reading LB lol (I cant put it down either!!!) But I just wanted to tell you that your writing has been an amazing escape and source of happiness for me. You deserve the world. I'm so happy to exist in a reality where I can enjoy the talent of amazing writers like you, who love the same things I do and want to take others on a magical ride w their work. Again, I'm so grateful and I wish you the best ❤💫

--

I am speechless at your extremely kind words, but I am of course very flattered and elated that you enjoyed my fic so much. I hope to publish the first chapter of the sequel sometime this week (possibly tomorrow!?) so... yay! Thank you thank you thank you.

[hollyhark]

Hi Holly! I've been procrastinating reading the last chapter of Under The Ruins, 'cause I feel like it's going to be a really emotional experience, and I want to be prepared. In the meantime, I reread Origin Story... can you tell me something about the sequel? You probably did already, but I couldn't find anything! :(

Oh yes!!! I’m soglad you’re interested in the sequel (and that you reread, and thatyou feel that way about the end of CWU, thank you for telling me;_;). My idea for it is a bit wild but I’m excited to try somethingdifferent.

It’s from Ren’sPOV, so there’s more insight as to why he did what he did and wherehe’s been for the past six years. Essentially he reunited with Reyand Luke and to some extent with Leia and assisted them in defeatingSnoke and the Order in turn. Despite this he never felt like he couldreally resettle with them because of what he did to Han and others(but especially Han), and at the start of the story he has come toterms with the fact that he’ll never get over Hux and needs to atleast speak to him to try to find some kind of closure.

One thing I’mexcited to write about in this which I haven’t really done beforeis that Ren develops a phobia of using the Force after defeatingSnoke. He can still use it if he wants to, but he’s traumatized bya lifetime of Snoke’s manipulation and lies and doesn’t trusthimself with his own powers anymore. He’s so desperate to reconnectwith Hux that he does use the Force to both locate the secret island(couldn’t resist an island, and there’s lots of ocean/beachcontent) where Hux has been exiled and to cloak his presence therewhen he arrives, and in general his wariness about his own access tothe Force is a complication throughout.

He finds somethingvery unexpected when he arrives at Hux’s place of exile. This isthe part that is hard to describe and makes it sound very outlandishlol but I’ve talked about it a little on here before. If you wantto be spoiled, click on the read more~

After Hux wascaptured/imprisoned an irresponsible scientist cloned him andrapid-aged the clones (into adulthood) so he could performexperiments on them based on his theory that Hux has a uniquelycriminal mind. He claimed to want to identify the ‘anti-empathy’gene in Hux so he could help all of humankind etc etc– basically hewas a crackpot who tortured two Hux clones in different ways,creating two very different Hux-looking people who are around twentyyears old when this story starts. Meanwhile he had a ‘control’(isolated but not otherwise subject to torture) Hux who was rescuedalong with the other two clones by officials who uncovered theproject when the control Hux clone had been rapid-aged to 12 yearsold.

The 3 Hux clones areall being housed indefinitely on Hux Exile Island until the wholemess is sorted out and as a method of keeping this embarrassmentunder wraps (the unethical scientist held a high-ranking positionbefore was caught doing this, and everything about Hux’s exile ishigh profile and sensitive).

So Ren shows uplooking for Hux and finds two other guys who look like young(er) Huxand one child who looks like mini Hux, and all these Huxes have beenliving on this island together for about a year as a verydysfunctional Hux Family. Then there’s another twist that I won’tdisclose here, and YEAH I know this sounds nuts but I’m really intoit so I hope others will be as well!! Part of why I want to do thisclones plot as a sequel to Origin Stories is that Hux is extremelycynical at this point and thinks that any officer’s son could haveshown up to the Stormtrooper Institute that day and ended up as Ren’s“soul mate” due to Snoke’s machinations, but of course Renisn’t even interested in actual (young, beautiful!) clones of Huxromantically, he just wants to win the Real Hux back. And Hux makesit hard as fuck and is extremely spiky and bitter in the sequel andI’m really excited about writing that as well :B

Thank you forasking, if you read this far!!