#I know I need to unfuck but I'm busy

[dr-zl]

I haven't gotten around to unfucking my desktop dashboard yet, so in the meantime I get to see more wild and stupid decisions made by tumblr

like how now after I sent in feedback saying "the post section of the dashboard is too cramped and everything is harder to read now" tumblr was like "yes I understand, we got rid of blog icons to remove even more of the buffer room around posts and icons actually don't even show up on reblogs anymore, so have fun having to squint at blog names : ) "

[brainrockets]

The Tracker phone call is bothering me A LOT. And not just the asking permission to post about her new girlfriend part. Most people agree that part was shitty. What's really burning my biscuits is the hard truths part.

Especially folks reacting like "oh that needed to be said."

And I know part of my reaction is rooted in how much I can identify with Kristen and her situation.

And I also know that Tracker is also really young so like yanno she's not a bad person even of she's being shitty rn.

With ADHD a lot of times people who are perhaps well meaning (x.x) will do this thing where they explain to you the situation you are in in excruciating detail like you are unaware. And I think that they think that this is going to help. It does not help.

Tracker was there for Freshman and Sophmore Year. So she's aware that Kristen does not have very many people in her corner. In fact the only person she had to help, with religion in particular, WAS TRACKER. And Tracker LEFT! Which she is fully entitled to do! But who was meant to fill that gap of support?

Also, not for nothing but she's also had the benefits of:

An established religion

Executive function

An entire summer of darkness to build her goddess' brand since she wasn't the one saving the world

I definitely took issue with the whole "now that we are broken up I'll tell you the hard stuff". Like bish what? Why didn't you tell her these things you think are important when you could also comfort fuck about it after? Instead of piling on while she's already NOT OKAY!?

Kristen is well aware that she's not okay. She knows shit is fucked up. Tracker is just giving her more ammo for her self loathing. If Tracker wants to tell her how fucked she is without offering anything to help her get unfucked then she should just not do that. None of this needed to happen. They aren't dating.

Things that Tracker could have done to help:

Offered to do a social media collab between the two SISTER GODDESSES while the night was unending

Minded her own business

Remembered how hard she took it when her goddess turned out to be a bitch

Waited to call

When Kristen was like I'm not okay, ending the conversation

Idk. I wasn't expecting to be ready to fight everyone in the parking lot about this whole thing but I am just so heated about it.

Anyways shout out to all my executive dysfunction babes who know they need help to get their lives unfucked but all folks seem to do is remind them shit is fucked.

[lurkingshan]

Random BL Superlatives: 2023 Edition

It's the end of the year and I'm feeling the need to give out some awards! We talk a lot about best show, best actors, best writing, best directing, blah blah but I gotta be honest, these are the categories that really spoke to me this year. In no particular order:

Best supporting garment: Porsche’s sweater, A Boss and A Babe

Did I create this entire list just to have an excuse to post about this sweater one more time? Maybe so.

Best performance despite a terrible wig: Daou, Love in Translation

This man managed to perform one of the hottest scenes of the year with that bowl cut monstrosity on his head. Respect must be paid.

Best new terminology: BGP, Bump Up Business

BUB gave us so many gifts, but I will always be most thankful for the business gay performance concept (BGP), a term that is highly relevant in discussions of the bl industry.

Best advice: "Unfuck it," Tien in La Pluie

It's not only the succinct phrasing, but also the delivery method.

Best ex who deserved better: Alan, Moonlight Chicken

Yes, I will be staying on the Alan apologist beat in 2024, thank you for asking.

Best unexpected needle drop: Wetter, The Eighth Sense

The moment this show captured my full attention.

Best WTF ending: The End of the World With You

You can probably still hear my scream of "WHAT" echoing in the hills. (Actual ending not pictured in case y'all decide to watch).

Best gut punch line: "Have you been well? Without me?", Our Dating Sim

Sure Shin Gi Tae, Lee Wan deserved it, but did I??

Best adorable child: Tane, Our Dining Table

Need I say more??

Best weapon: sparkle murder dust, Khun Chai

Truly the MVP of this show. I can't find an actual gif of the dust in action (too violent to be depicted) so enjoy these pretty men instead.

Best great character trapped in a bad show: Boston, Only Friends

My beloved, I will seek vengeance in your name.

Best use of music to fuck me up: Plumeria, I Feel You Linger in the Air

Cocktail and Tee Bundit, you know what you did!

Best meal: Chicken curry and cheese naan, What Did You Eat Yesterday?

Yes, this category is kind of a cheat so I can mention WDYEY on this list. And what about it!

Best unhinged energy: Nawin, Laws of Attraction

He may not have succeeded at stealing back his man but he certainly stole the show.

Best bl horror: Grand Guignol

I just need to make sure all you jbl fans know that this movie exists and that Issei fucked Mr Unlucky!!! IYKYK.

Best character comeback: Phupha, Our Skyy 2

From boring stoic love interest to actually compelling and kinda funny leading man! See what a little flirting with Pat Jindapat can do for you?!

[shootybangbang]

The Upsides of Property Damage [Part 4/5]

Authored by @verai-marcel and @shootybangbang

[Ao3 link]

[Pairing]: Arthur Morgan/Reader

[Rating]: Mature

[Content Advisory]: light D/S undertones

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4]

[Author's Note]: Thank you guys so, so much for your patience, and so sorry for the delay! Most of chapter 5 has been completed and should be out soon. If you want to be notified when that comes out, go ahead and leave a comment down below and I'll make a taglist or something.

--------

The maintenance request form states: [Please give a brief description of the problem.]

for the past few days i've been so fixated on fucking the maintenance man that i've been having difficulty accomplishing basic tasks because every time i try to concentrate on anything even remotely meaningful all i can think about is him saying "maybe you just enjoy my company" and if this keeps up i'm fairly certain that i'm going to actually get fired from my job so clearly i need to either get laid or get evicted

This statement makes you look certifiably insane. It’s not even a request– it’s a confession . Sending this would be tantamount to seating yourself beside the grated window of a church booth and asking its captive priest whether he’d prefer you spit or swallow.

More importantly, it also exceeds the text box’s 250 character limit. You rapidly tap the delete key until the entire obscene paragraph disappears. Then you try again. 

broken cabinet.

Hmm. Lacks an element of genuine contrition.

broken cabinet. sorry. :’(

[Your service request has been logged. Please allow up to one standard business day for a response.]

You glance at the time displayed on the microwave’s grease-spattered screen. 4:36PM. Morgan’s probably already packed up for the day– and taking normal operating hours into account, the earliest he could possibly show up tomorrow would be 9AM… which gives you at least sixteen hours to emotionally prepare yourself to confront him.

Morosely, you drag yourself out of your kitchen chair to pour yourself a glass of sparkling water. So this is what I’ve sunk to . Using service requests as a means of personal summons for the hot repairman. Pathetic. Shameful. And 100% necessary for the preservation of your sanity.

How many times have you pictured it now? Morgan, cornering you against the wall and wrapping his hand around your jaw… Or maybe , he’d rumble, caressing your lower lip with his thumb. You just enjoy my company . Then he’d fuck you silly, of course, in a series of lurid positions that grow increasingly obscene with each imagining.

And how many times have you pictured its inverse? Morgan, backing away in response to your hypothetical advance, his face contorted with faint disgust as he asks, “You know I was just joking, right?” Following which you’d get written up for sexual harassment by the leasing office and put on… housing probation, or something.

Being humiliated, you can handle. Albeit not very well— but you’re usually able to stay at least semi-functional. The same goes for flirtation. It’s this hopeless vacillation between the two possibilities that drives you out of your mind. Schrodinger’s boner: simultaneously fucked and unfucked. And like that quantum superposition, you’ve been plunged into a private hell of uncertainty until your reality can settle definitively on one or the other.

This has been predictably bad for your job performance. Earlier today, you’d accidentally deleted two entire spreadsheets of data whilst lost in competing visions of fornication and abject rejection, and then constructed a pivot table so incomprehensible that one of your colleagues had personally reached out to ask whether you’d recently experienced head trauma. 

God. At this point, you really have no choice but to put the question to him directly. Plain and simple. Just a quick “are you hitting on me” and it’ll all be–

Your thoughts are interrupted by an urgent knock at the door. 

Huh. Looks like Defying Your Blue Collar Dom is getting delivered a day early? It’s unusual for Amazon to leave packages at your doorstep instead of in the lobby, but it does happen, so…

…Oh.

It’s Morgan. What the fuck.

“But you were supposed to come tomorrow ,” you blurt, eyes wide with panic.

“That so?” Morgan asks, one eyebrow raised. He glances sidelong to the empty hallway, and shifts his weight uneasily from one leg to the other. With a shrug, he squares up his shoulders and turns back towards the stairwell. “Later, then.”

Shit. This is all going wrong. “No, that’s not what I meant. It’s just that I– I, uh…I’m… ”

He allows your stammer to run its course into awkward silence. Then the corner of his mouth angles upwards in a sly smile and he asks, “Or d’you need a minute to put away anything else your ‘friend’ mighta left out? I can wait.”

Somewhere in the realm of missed quips, there probably exists a clever response to this. Somewhere that is decidedly not here. “No,” you reply in a small, pained voice. “She, uh– she hasn’t been around, so… y’know…”

The sentence unspools like loose yarn. Jesus Christ, this is stupid.

“You alright?” Morgan asks, frowning down at you from where he stands. “You ain’t normally this incoherent.”

His comment implies that you’ve been operating thus far on an existing, baseline level of incoherence. Biting back the urge to query exactly what that looks like, you reply with a clipped, terse, “I’m fine.”

As you lead him towards your kitchen, you nearly trip over the half-packed suitcase parked beside the door. At this, Morgan again voices his concern. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen you this on edge before. Something botherin’ you?”

Yes , you think to yourself. My libido.

“Or is it some one that’s botherin’ you?”

He says the words with such a darkly implicative undertone that you actually turn around to stare at him, disarmed by the sudden shift. The warmth in his eyes has gone out like a blown candle. “Is it one of the other maintenance men?” he asks, and the whisper of lethality in his countenance surfaces so quickly that it speaks to a kind of practiced efficiency. 

A mingled thrill of fear and intrigue runs up your spine, and you swallow hard.

“If one of ‘em’s harassin’ you— if anyone’s harassin’ you…” he says these words with slow deliberation, while curling his free hand into a fist, thumb tucked over his folded fingers in that characteristic manner of boxers and street brawlers alike, and god if he were anyone else you’d likely be shrinking against the wall in terror right now. “Then you come tell me. And I’ll handle it.”

You have a sneaking suspicion that his method of conflict resolution involves grievous bodily injury. “Nobody’s bothering me,” you reply. Then, because he still looks vaguely homicidal, you follow up quickly with, “Just had an off day.”

This placates him somewhat. The tension diminishes like a rope going slack, and you realize with a hot pang of humiliation that your underwear is slick with arousal.

It’s not until he’s crouched in front of your broken cabinet, which stands ajar with its wooden door peaked at a 45 degree angle, that you finally work up the nerve to confront him. “So. Morgan.” You lean against the edge of your kitchen countertop like the faux marble might offer you emotional support. “There’s, uh. Something I’ve been wanting to ask you.”

He’s sorting through his tool kit and doesn’t lift his head. Picks through an array of silver chiseled pieces so deftly that you can’t help but wonder what else those hands might be clever at. “Yeah?’ he asks, selecting a screwdriver head. He slips it into the drill chuck, twisting it tight.

“Are you, um…”

Fuck. You can’t say it. Your mouth literally refuses to shape itself to the words. Instead, you hear yourself ask, “Are you thirsty? You want some seltzer?”

Morgan blinks, then turns to you looking predictably baffled. “That’s… what you’ve been wantin’ to ask me? Whether or not I’m thirsty?”

“Yes,” you reply weakly.

For once, it’s him who’s been caught off guard. “I– uh. Sure, I guess.”

He takes his drill and begins to remove the damaged hinge. Taking the door leaf and flipping it this way and that, he examines the damage.

The crack of aluminum when you pull back the can’s metal tab and the responding fizz of compressed air sounds a little like a rebuke. Scathingly, it hisses: what the hell are you doing?

I have no idea , you admit, pouring the can of sparkling water into a clean glass. You pass it over to Morgan after he presses the trigger on the drill twice and sets it on the countertop. He gulps down an absent mouthful, then immediately stands up to spit it in your sink.

Oh. He hates it.

Your voice is thin as a reed. “I guess you’re not a fan of sparkling grapefruit, huh?”

“It’s…” With the duty-bound reluctance of a dog given a loathed order, he takes another, tentative sip, and forces himself to swallow. “It’s fine.”

It is clearly not fine. “Do you, uh. Do you want a beer?”

“What, you encouragin’ me to drink on the job?”

You open the fridge. Good god, you might as well partake too. It’s not like you’re in any state to get any work done, stuck as you are in this miserable limbo . “In any case, I’m gonna have one. And I’m still on the clock.”

“Alright.” He sounds like he’s smiling. “So long as you’re complicit, why not?”

You end up downing half a bottle of 8% oatmeal stout in about three sips, then stand around blankly waiting for the roil of anxiety to abate. You’d attempt the precarious endeavor of small talk were it not for the fact that the only thing you can think of right now is “grapefruit”. Not the concept of grapefruit. Just the word “grapefruit”. This must be how computers feel when they spit out the same, continuous error message.

Mercifully, he intervenes. “You goin’ on vacation somewhere? Saw that suitcase by your door.”

“Catsitting,” you say.

“’…s’cuse me?”

“Catsitting. Like… babysitting. But for a cat,” you explain. “My friend’s going to Vegas the day after tomorrow, and her cat has anxiety.”

“Cats can get anxiety?”

“This cat takes cat Xanax . His name is Sebastian, and he’s the most neurotic animal I’ve ever met.” 

Morgan asks, “Yourself included?”

You make a noise that bears no resemblance to any word in the English language.

He chuckles. “Well, go on, tell me how neurotic he is.”

Thank fucking christ, the alcohol is finally beginning to course its way through your blood. Your tongue loosens enough to tell him how poor Sebastian had spent nearly an entire day curled up under your friend’s bed the first time you’d tried to take care of him, how you’d ended up driving to the grocery on a Sunday morning to scour the shelves for the most pungent can of sardines they had in stock, and how only then , with the room saturated in fish fumes, had the cat finally dragged itself out of the boxspring to nose curiously at your offering.

Morgan laughs. A good sign, you think. “That’s nothin’,” he says, and describes to you his boss’ cat: a purebred white Persian appropriately dubbed “The Count”, so thoroughly spoiled that she won’t eat the same meal twice in a row.

You snort at the image of a prissy little fluff ball turning her nose at a gourmet cat meal.

“Though it’s funny, I never took you for a cat person,” he says.

“No?”

“Figured you’d prefer snails.”

“Look, snails… snails are…” This is a sentence you started with absolutely no knowledge of how it should end. “I like snails,” you say lamely.

“Oh yeah? Think I remember somethin’ else that you like.” He puts his hand around his jaw and pretends to look thoughtful. “What was that book called again? Somethin’ about… bein’ punished by blue collar doms?”

“I’m sure that my friend who left her book on blue collar doms here very much enjoys them, if that’s what you’re referencing.”

He merely chuckles indulgently as he continues to fix the cabinet. You watch his muscles flex under his shirt as he drills new holes into the wood and sets the new hinge in place. As he works the power tool with a soft grunt, you find yourself idly wondering if he’d make the same sound as he drills you —

“Y’know,” he comments, stepping back as he tests the alignment of the door. “I’m actually kind of impressed. This is the most work I’ve ever had to do for a single apartment, barring natural disasters.”

“Wow. Comparing a girl to a natural disaster. Are you this charming with all the tenants, Mr Morgan?”

“You gonna be jealous if I say ‘yes’?”

The alcohol makes you honest. “Extremely.”

“Well, we wouldn’t want that.” He grabs the edge of the kitchen counter and hauls himself back to his feet. “If this is the amount of property damage you cause normally, then I’d hate to see you angry.”

He takes another step forward. You take a step back reflexively, but find yourself pressed against the wall. He leans his forearm against the drywall and he’s close enough now that you can smell sweat and machine oil. Your heart beats hard in your chest. 

For once you’re lost for words. No quip comes to mind, for your brain is emitting sparks. “I, uh– I’m not–”

“You’re not what, exactly?” 

“I don’t know,” you say weakly.

He raises his hand to your jaw, tips your chin up with two fingers. “The answer’s ‘no’, by the way,” he says quietly. “It’s just you.”

Morgan looks like he’s going to kiss you. The expression on his face is softer than you’ve ever seen it, all his gruffness melted away. You tentatively tug at the fabric of his jumpsuit and stand on your toes to–

But he puts his hand on your shoulder and pushes you back down. “Goddamn,” he says, frowning. “You’re really red.”

Huh. What.

“Listen, I ain’t one for takin’ advantage of drunks, even if they got themselves into this mess.” He picks you up as if you weigh nothing at all and sets you down on the couch. “Now, I’m goin’ to get you some water, and yer goin’ to sit here and sober up while I finish this cabinet. Alright?”

“I’m not even that drunk,” you protest loudly.

“Yer about the color of a fire hydrant right now.”

When you press the back of your hand to your cheeks and forehead, your skin feels feverish. Begrudgingly, you sink down into your couch cushions and cross your arms.

“Good girl,” he rumbles, patting your head affectionately.

***

You slouch on your friend’s comfy couch with Sebastian sitting regally in your lap as if you were his loyal subject.

“Hey Sebastian, I think I did something really stupid.”

Sebastian stretches and yawns. 

“I hit on the maintenance man.”

He meows. It sounds almost disapproving. Even the cat is judging you. 

“It gets worse.” You loll your chin downwards until it touches your chest. “I was sloppy drunk.”

Sebastian tilts his head at you and blinks.

“Okay, one bottle drunk.”

He sniffs haughtily.

“Right? Pathetic, I know.” You move to pick up Sebastian, but he begins to arch his back and you stop, leaning back against the cushions again. He relaxes and maintains his regal position.

“Well, maybe YouTube will keep my mind off him for the next two days…”

***

You return from your friend’s place, having used her cat and your friend’s YouTube Premium as your therapy sessions. You feel better about things now, and life should return to normal. Right?

The washer’s inner mechanism gives a promising rattle as it swallows your last six quarters. There’s a low rumble of moving parts, the click of something slotting into place— and then silence. The drum of the machine sits sedately in place. Your dirty clothes sit inside in a quiet, unsoaked heap.

“Son of a bitch,” you mutter under your breath. 

You try out a couple different methods: Turn the knobs to various settings without success. Jiggle the handle to try and unlock the washer door. Yell at the machine, call it a worthless piece of shit.

But where discourse fails, violence often prevails. It’s a lesson that has offered a decent measure of success in your dealings with vending machines, keurigs, and lawnmowers. So it’s not merely anger that guides you to kick the washer. No, this is… this is a strategic use of force.

The first kick yields no results. The second kick produces an interesting sputter. Perhaps , you reason, a more precise method is needed here . You raise your fist.

Before you can punch the machine, someone grabs you by the wrist.

“What the hell are you doin’?” Morgan asks, exasperated.

“Laundry,” you answer matter-of-factly.

“What part of laundry involves fightin’ inanimate objects?”

“The part where I get this piece of shit to finally work.” You attempt to give the washer a last parting shot out of pure anti-machine sentiment with your other hand.

Before you can continue to perform percussive maintenance, he grabs your other wrist too.

You tug on both your arms, but he is ridiculously solid; it’s like trying to break free of handcuffs.

Of course my mind goes there.

Looking up at him, he’s realizing at the same time as you of how suggestive this looks. His eyes widen a bit, and you take that as a look of surprise and embarrassment. Yet neither of you moves for a full minute.

“Well,” you say finally. “Are you gonna let me go? Or are you gonna make me submit?”

His eyes narrow for a moment before a smirk slowly grows on his face. “Sounds like that’s what you want.”

He pulls you away from the machine and instead pushes you up against the closest wall. You can feel the heat of his body through the thin linen of your sundress. He traps your wrists against the cold surface and presses his whole body against yours. 

“Mr Morgan—”

“It’s Arthur,” he interrupts. “Call me Arthur.”

You whisper his name, beckoning. His expression darkens ever so slightly as his desire for you manifests in a slight twitch of his lips, a crinkling of his brow.

Then he kisses you hard, his tongue lashing against yours before lightly nipping your bottom lip. When he pulls back, his lips are wet and his pupils are blown out with desire.

Letting go of your wrists, he reaches for the hem of your sundress and hikes it up, his calloused hands stroking upwards from your thighs to your hips. He shifts his knee between your legs and nudges them apart before grinding against you. You can feel how hard he is, how big he is, and you moan softly. Burying his head between your neck and shoulder, he begins to suck on the delicate skin there—

The door creaks open. Mrs. Smith, the septuagenarian from down the hall, walks into the doorway with a hamper of laundry in her arms, then pauses when she sees the two of you.

For a second, everyone stands tense and still as participants in a shootout.

“Well,” Mrs. Smith says mildly. She doesn’t look surprised or scandalized. If anything, she looks mildly entertained. “I can see you two are busy. I’ll come back in an hour or so—”

“No! It’s fine,” you say before laughing nervously. You yank your skirt back down. Arthur immediately releases you and begins intensely inspecting the washing machine. “I was actually just leaving. This, uh, this machine’s broken.”

Morgan’s face is red as he makes a noise of confirmation and nods.

“That certainly seemed a novel means of repair,” Mrs. Smith says. The smile on her face is benign, but knowing.

“Anyway!” You pick up your empty laundry basket. “I really must get back. I have a…that is, I… I think I left my oven on.”

You barrel out the door, nearly knocking Mrs. Smith over in your escape. You run down three flights of stairs and into your apartment, slamming the door shut. Marching to your couch, you put a pillow over your face and scream .

***

Watching her leave, Arthur stands in shock at first, then glances over at Mrs. Smith and turns himself towards one of the washing machines, examining it with great focus.

A soft chuckle reaches his ears and he turns his head to look at the old lady, steadily pulling out one piece of laundry at a time from another machine. Under the pretense of examining all the machines, he notes that she also slowly and methodically loads the dryer.

“You should just go after her,” she says quietly, throwing a pair of large pink underpants into the dryer. “She’s a nice one, that girl.”

Arthur can only mutter, “I got work to do.”

“Come now, we both know that’s a lie.”

He sighs. It’s bad enough that John is on his case, but now 705 is giving him grief. 

“Do you like her?”

He’s silent. He does not want to be having this conversation.

“Because a girl as pretty as her…”

“I know, I know,” Arthur grumbles. “I’m goin’.”

As he walks past her, Mrs. Smith grins knowingly.

[bolithesenate]

WIP GAME

RULES: make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! Then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

@cuzosu-blog is coming for me personally and with extreme prejudice I see, so here we go. gods above i have too many wips

life needs things to live

mud fic II

des farners fuchs

bits and bobs - last night myles - maybe eldritch sifo/jaster - mand'alor to the rescue - talk shit get bit - what do sith eat - extreme prejudice - serenno imperial harem - padawan and projectile both start with p, coincidence? i think not - united in grief (and stronger for it)

of guards and guar gards

hux is a feral cat and rey said pspspsps

jaster the explor'alor

anti anarchist royalists

janko meet cute with violence

bamf agricorps

no witches

what happens on pijal stays on pijal

blorbo timetravel

pearly pearls and pearly whites

korkie vizsla's mental speed dial to the manda

the depa billaba blackmailing business

serennoverse lore

getting revenge rael averross style

a kingdom for a horse

unbennantes dokument (1)

fimders keepers

man me a hand

marriage of inconvenience (for the sith)

incidental padawan acquisition

meanwhile on mandalore online

the heart of a star is home

unbenanntes dokument (2)

getting a good grade in girlfriend

dooku taking over the agricorps

the mud of the covenant is thicker than the water of the grandmasters stew

cache lineage

change does not always mean looking forward

better halves than halved bets

exchange for silicon?

this is not a place of honor

true sith padme (tale the l palpy)

whatever works

of falling angels and other idiots

the day the cern did create a black hole

turn this ship around me bois

motina ripping palpy a new one

eldritch bot4 for fun and profit

dooku and ahsoka life changing fieldtrip

unfucking the timeline one bastard at the time

zilobist

taree and boga

cilantro fic

fuck it all

ever heard the saying

her imperial noodleness

this should be all i think

now, 'wip' is being applied rather loosely here, so there's stuff i havent worked on in a bit. but i do plan to eventually. just can't say when.

since there is no universe in which i can come up with more than SIXTY fucking people to tag, i'm just gonna forgo that in its entirety. i know how to choose my battles

[sburbian-sage]

I have to go into the Psychoruins. There's no avoiding it, the session is unimaginably fucked and my denizen said I'd find something in there that would save us. I'm 17, and the other two players that are still alive are 9 and 10, it's only their second sessions, they are barely functional, I can't send them in, it's gotta be me.

I tried to follow this guide: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14382951/chapters/33212049

But none of us have the song of light, and all the members of the consort band are dead and nothing else we've tried to do to get it has worked.

I don't have the "Gorrum player pendant" the guide says helps, and I'm not sure what it is. (Since when are pendants related to denizens? Assuming Gorrum is a denizen?)

I can't use the skeletal consort tricks the guide mentions, because the game didn't actually spawn any fucking consorts on any of our lands. (Yes, seriously.)

I'm a Seer of Void. Other players are a Page of Doom and Heir of Space. None of us have god tiered, and we can't find our quest beds or sacrificial slabs. Prospit and Derse have both exploded, and most carapacians are dead.

I know there's no way that we can actually get though this, but I gotta try. If you have any Psychoruins tips, I'd love to hear them.

What the fuck. I'm reading the linked guide and seeing a lot of dubious stuff. Consorts of any stripe are generally not combat capable. WTNV equipment cancelling out the most dangerous aspect of the Psychoruins seems a bit too convenient (especially if the implication is that the two are thematically linked, SBURB isn't especially pop-culturally aware, except when it comes to prototyping because as well all know if you prototype Shrek the sprite will behave like Shrek). And most offensively, the author is using the wrong terminology! It's the Sprite Pendant, not the Player Pendant! We use standardized terminology for a reason, people!!!

You do indeed seem to be turbofucked, between the Medium-wide omnicide, implied loss of your timeplayer, and the fact that you got not one, but two unusually young replayers (9 and 10 on their second session implies they were even younger on their first session, when 12-13 is the usual minimum standard). Luckily for you though, my job is unfucking people and correcting mistakes. I'll be providing my advice in somewhat unorganized bulletpoint fashion.

Don't bring the kids into the psychoruins. Not only will it spook them, you wanna prevent any accidental PKs if funny business happens. HOWEVER they can be useful still. If they have any buffs, psychological or otherwise, make them cast them on you before you head in. The Page of Doom probably doesn't have much for you, but the Heir of Space should (maybe something like a navigational aura? or a Volto Do Mar-esque self-centering where you become aware of the world and your place in it?). Whatever slight help they can afford you. Knowing what your own abilities do also helps.

it might also be worth stressing to them that before you go, they have their own quests to attend to. I know that you said they're barely functional, but they survived once before. This might even be a valuable learning experience, teaching them that they need to be self-sufficient or be able to do things on their own. Especially if you don't come back from this mission (you will).

Disregard the "if I don't come back out in three days, destroy the entrance" advice. If the Denizen is saying that whatever's in there is urgent, it's urgent. Let the fact that you have to do this in one shot steel your resolve.

DO keep the advice to bring only one computer and turn it off beforehand. Ignore any pings.

Other pieces of that guide's advice you should follow include being well-rested before going in, bringing food and don't eat anything you find in there (even if you dropped it), bringing your best gear (and make some better ones just in case), bringing any good luck charms or that which makes you feel happy. I can tell this guide is shit because they forgot the most important piece of gear you should bring into the Psychoruins. A pair of fresh pants. Har har har.

If you don't have the Song of Light, that's insane but okay. Make a token attempt at bringing a lantern or flashlight or something, even though the Psychoruins will probably make them fritz out or do something spooky. Better than literally nothing.

On that note, I wonder if your Seer of Void title might be advantageous here. Aspects and Classes can be interpreted in a variety of ways, and I wonder if "divine information from nothing" could be perhaps a bit bent into "see in the dark"? It's not Scrying, so it should work, assuming you're capable of doing this at all.

I also feel like this expedition might be very synergistic with your title, but not to the extent that this will be easy. The Psychoruins are not easy.

I know this is the "get good" of Psychoruins advice but unironically, none of the shit you see in there is real. If you have any experience with the Earthsea Borealis, it's kind of like how the Nightmare Heir says stuff that is designed to poke at your insecurities and make you doubt yourself (which they pull from your head), but you're always supposed to have some sort of response to it. The Psychoruins are the same, but they're trying to invoke fear instead of self-doubt, and they're also much weaker and shittier than the Nightmare Heir. This isn't to say you should just ignore them and courteously let them do their thing while walking past, like this is some IRL haunted house and you're letting the actors do their job. They will not only obstruct your important tasks, but try to psychologically harm you by looking like your dead friends or the bugs you're really afraid of or the guardian you raised you from birth and who you killed by playing this game and you barely remember what they look like anymore. While the Nightmare Heir is complicated, and there's no one-size-fits-all method, it might be better to just get really angry. Like act indignant when a Nightmare shows up and scream "HOW DARE YOU WEAR THEIR FACE" like you're some anime character and then you shoot them and try to complete all the puzzles.

I imagine the Denizen is trying to do some secret growth bullshit, like you haven't conquered your fears and there's some critical development you haven't undergone, and it's sending you to the Psychoruins both so you can get the thingy and so you can undergo the Deep Revelations. In that case you might still want to do the "get angry and shoot" strat at least until you feel like shit is getting real, maybe around the 1/2 to 3/4 mark.

This is the "rainy day for when the worst possible outcome happens" advice, but if you feel the need to pull back, surrender, or otherwise give up on this journey, don't. You can't die in there, unless you get so stressed you have a heart attack, which is rather unlikely (alchemize medicine if you think otherwise). Suicide is disabled by the game (or at least I hope so, the Exiles handle that but communication is supposed to be blocked). The worst outcome I can see the Psychoruins having is longterm trauma. You have people's lives riding on your success. Learning to live with trauma is an inevitable part of the game. If you haven't learned how to do it before, you'll do it now. The advice I keep jamming into your head is that you have to succeed and survive. Let that be your polestar no matter what.

But also I've heard the Psychoruins are supposed to be B-movie horror scary, so maybe it won't actually be that bad and someone's fucking with you. All this advice assumes that you got a version of the Psychoruins (or suspect you will get a version of) that is actually terrifying and traumatizes people with how 3spooky5me it is. If you don't, then take the advice anyway, laugh when it turns out to be not that spooky at all and you over-prepared, and continue shooting things. Then tell your coplayers that it actually was very scary and you were a badass for doing it, and revel in their applause.

[ask-ursa-tonypeter]

Multiverse question [fics DB and YNYD] curious to know what DB’s Peter and Tony (extremis and post extremis) think of the YNYD universe. In particular about the fact that Tony and Peter aren’t related in that universe.

[[🐻ursa interlude🐻

DB!Peter would feel conflicted about the YNYDs-- on the one hand, it would be… extremely affirming and inspiring to see both of them go through their recovery arcs re: sexual trauma and come out much healthier on the other side? That would be really, really special to him.

On the other hand, it would be super weird to see a universe where he and Tony weren't related, and incredibly super weird to see a universe where they fell in love. It would bring up all of his confused, shameful feelings about his romantic/sexual interest in his dad, and he wouldn't know whether to find that affirming in some way ("maybe I'm not a freak, maybe we're just meant to be like this in every universe and it's not my fault") or to let it be more fuel for his self-hate in that area.

Extremis!Tony again doesn't like to think too deeply on the universes where they aren't related except to have vague "it is Correct and Proper that we're still significant to each other" feelings about it. Much like his feelings on WL!Tony, he would think YNYD!Tony was kind of a pussy for taking so long to come around to giving Peter what he needed. (Here he was showing SO MUCH SELF-RESTRAINT and then there's all these Tonys angsting over the fact that their Peters actively want to fuck them???? Shameful.)

I feel like Cured!Tony is so boring because he's always like, "I'm too busy trying to unfuck my life to care about anyone else's thanks" lmao-- he just does not have the emotional energy to invest in anything other than feeling like shit and trying to make life better for Peter, lskdfj.

He would be vaguely disturbed by the whole not-incest romance of it all and find Peter vaguely inspiring for holding up so well under such intense trauma at such a young age. He would not think YNYD!Peter should be fucking a middle-aged man regardless, but not enough to actually be mad at YNYD!Tony if they met in person. He's just very not invested, lmao.]]

[ursbearhug]

Addendum to my previous statement:

I've got to meet boyfriend of my friend yesterday. Second time. Though, this time they're actually together rather than playing some 6D chess.

And that's why I'm kind of getting "love can blind us" bit. Because yeah! You have to be dumb, blind and deaf to look at that guy and be like "yeah, he's fuckable and dateable, yup".

It's like "here, have this unkind, unsavour jackass, dumb as a brick, skull thick as a wall and dryest sense of humour" and you're eating this shit up. Girl if I wanted to date a haystack, I would just do that without all the unnecessary extra steps. I did 3 hours of mental gymnastic to figure out what's likeable about him before realising it's not my business and spare the remaining braincells.

Like sorry gurl but your partner is unlikable and unfuckable, sorry you got here but yeah.

I especially like the way he feels threatened by me as if I'd fuck my friend and his girlfriend. And it's like. Just because every time you talk to a woman is because you want to sleep with her, doesn't mean everybody else does so as well. Respect a girl without having access to her body challange level 100. "Oh no! Another male specimen is talking about sex and joking about dicks with my propet- girlfriend! He must be faking his asexualness and is trying to get into her pants!".

Sweety, if I really wanted to, I would have done so ages ago. But again, I have more purpose in life than segz with females. I at least have jokes that are funny and can make her laugh for 3 hours straight. Your jokes have no punchline, can only work on a 6th grader, are here to belittle someone. You want to be me so bad.

Also I do not appreciate you look down on me so hard. You're gonna break your neck trying to look down on me. I don't even know why are you looking on the ground, I'm right here jackass. I swear people will grow to be 1,9m and think they're superior species.

Also also, I like how his ex partners are being considered "unreasonable" or "crazy" because they don't want their partner to live in open or polyamorous relationship. While, all that really is to it is; they're not comfortable with it. And even then! I wouldn't be comfortable being someone's fleshlight, while he's racking up side hoes, with understanding of safe sex of a illiterate, 16th century, French disease ridden peasant, either. I really really hate to be that guy, but relationships are not beginning and ending with sex. If you just want somebody to screw while you're off duty and have 0 intentions of dealing with any and all emotional and psychological needs of your partner, I recommend previously mentioned fleshlight or looking for fuck buddies (whom you'll most likely dismiss and treat with disdain, as per common for any sexually free and active girl) instead of masquerading yourself as big and woke polyamorist. I wish my feminism also hanged and dangled on a horsehair, you absolute trashbag.

Like, I get the need to paint him in good colours and show off in best light but so far his only redeeming quality is his 'strive' to get his doctorate. I've seen dead grass with more personality.

[gutsfics]

Incorrect Quotes 💞

i wasnt tagged by anyone this just looked fun

i may have. gotten a little carried away and put a lot lmao

-

Avalon: I'm gonna get my pilot's license. I've already got a driver's license and a cosmetology license, that's two of the big five licenses.

Thomas: The big five licenses?

Avalon: Driver's license, cosmetology license, pilot's license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can't wait to get that one.

Thomas: Are you trying to seduce me?

-

Thomas: I fell—

Avalon: From heaven?

Thomas: No, I literally fell—

Avalon: In love with me the moment you saw me?

Thomas: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Avalon: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

-

Avalon: Why, are you seducible?

-

Thomas: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.

Avalon: But ya' didn't!

-

Avalon: Bro-

Thomas: No, no, hold up, rewind.

Thomas: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

-

Avalon: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*

Thomas: What did you do?!

Avalon: NOBODY DIED!

Thomas: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

-

Thomas: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Avalon:

Avalon: I like you.

☆

Baxter & Reigan

☆

Reigan: What? I'm not aggressive!

Baxter: Last Tuesday, you wacked me with a pair of crocs and stole my chocolate chips?

Reigan: Survival of the fittest, bitch.

-

Baxter: Help! I’m drowning!

Reigan: Calm down. We’re only in six feet of water!

Baxter: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

-

Reigan: Are you drinking enough water?

Baxter: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

-

Reigan: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning!

Baxter: I'll hate my self in the morning regardless.

☆

Ezra x Wes x Simon

☆

Ezra: I’m afraid of clowns. There, I said it.

Wes: Ezra, if you don't like clowns, why are you hanging with Simon?

-

Ezra: Wes, gather the others. We need to have another Simon-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-him-before-he-hurts-himself convention.

-

Simon: You have to apologize to Wes!

Ezra: Fine!

Ezra: Unfuck you, or whatever!

☆

Ethan x Baxter x Raf

☆

Raf: Why doesn’t Baxter find me sexy when I bite my lip?

Ethan: What do you look like when you bite your lip?

Raf: *bites lip*

Ethan: ...Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?

-

Raf: How do you do that?

Baxter: I'm fearless.

Ethan: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad.

Baxter: I'm mostly fearless.

-

Baxter: There's beer in the cooler.

Ethan: What about for the children?

Baxter: You can get water from that water fountain and use it to water down the beer.

Raf: Why don't we just give the kids water?

Baxter, angrily: I suppose you could do that!

-

Ethan: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

Raf: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Baxter, go find out if that thing can catch fire!

Ethan: You're a bad influence.

Raf: And you don't know your sayings.

☆

Reigan ◇ Tobias

☆

Tobias: *sighs* I have no friends...

Reigan:

Reigan: *coughs* Bitch, what am I? A roach?!

-

Tobias: Am I right, Reigan?

Reigan: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I wasn’t listening.

-

Reigan: We have to plan, we have to figure something out.

Tobias: Reigan, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

-

Tobias: Is five a lot of followers?

Reigan: Depends on the context.

Reigan: On Instagram? No, not a lot of followers.

Reigan: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers.

-

Tobias, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?

Reigan: *half asleep* Tobias, this is a queen-sized bed. That means it’s for *gestures vaguely to himself* the Queen.

☆

Simon & Thomas

☆

Simon, texting Thomas: *sends a voice message*

Thomas, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

Simon: No, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

Thomas: *presses play*

Simon's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

-

Simon: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Thomas and not do the thing,

Simon: Well there’s a clear right answer here.

Simon: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke*

☆

Thomas x Avalon + Baxter & Reigan

☆

Baxter: What’s up with Thomas? he's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Reigan: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Baxter: Why?

Reigan: Avalon smiled at him.

-

Avalon: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.

Reigan: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.

Baxter: Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

Thomas: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.

-

Baxter: Where's Avalon?

Reigan: Don't worry, I'll find them.

Reigan, shouting: Thomas sucks!

Avalon, distantly: Thomas is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Reigan: Found them.

-

Reigan: I’m gonna die alone.

Avalon: Reigan, you’re not gonna die alone.

Reigan: Baxter, was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake.

Thomas: Uh-huh. Why is that?

Reigan: If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face.

Reigan: So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Man With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake man.

Reigan: Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!

-

Thomas, pointing to the wall: What color is this?

Avalon: Gray.

Baxter: Grey.

Thomas, turning to Reigan: Now tell them what color you think it is.

Reigan: Dark white.

☆

Tag x Mina x Big Papa

☆

Mina: So how’s the food Big Papa made?

Tag: It's great! Compliments to them.

Mina: *goes to the kitchen*

Mina: You're adorable.

Big Papa: *blushes*

-

Big Papa, to Tag: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Tag: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Big Papa: You just told me you're pregnant.

Mina: Congratulations Tag, you're glowing!

-

Big Papa: So... what’s goin’ on?

Mina: You want the long version or the short version?

Big Papa, hesitantly: The short one, I guess?

Mina: Shit’s fucked.

Big Papa: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

-

*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation*

Big Papa: How do you eat pickles?

Mina: What do you mean?

Big Papa: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.

Mina: Yeah, that's why you use a fork.

Big Papa: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean.

Mina: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work.

Big Papa: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.

Mina: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing.

Big Papa: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug.

Mina: *Nods in agreement*

Tag: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!

Big Papa: Jeez, okay.

Mina: Quit yelling at us already.

-

Mina, knocking on the door: Tag, open up!

Tag: It all started when I was a kid.

Mina: That’s not what I-

Big Papa: Let them finish!

-

Tag: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Mina: Well, that would such because you can't microwave metal.

Big Papa: Good morning to everyone except these two people.

-

Mina: Aww, what's your dog's name?

Tag: Spartacus.

Mina, yelling to Big Papa: TRY SPARTACUS!

Big Papa, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Tag:

Mina: What's your favorite number?

-

Mina: How did you even get in here?

Tag: Big Papa's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Tag's door"!

Big Papa: I’m closing the window.

-

Big Papa: Hey, Tag? Can I get some dating advice?

Tag: Just because I'm with Mina doesn't mean I know how I did it.

-

Tag: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Big Papa a little bit.

Mina, holding Tag's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation.

Tag: No, that's our joint tombstone.

Mina: My mistake.

-

Mina: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.

Big Papa: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?

Mina: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.

Tag: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!

Big Papa: ...put it away.

☆

Tag x Mina x Big Papa + Thomas & Avalon (aka GTA crossover au)

☆

Mina: Time for plan G.

Big Papa: Don’t you mean plan B?

Mina: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Thomas: What about plan D?

Mina: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Avalon: What about plan E?

Mina: I’m hoping not to use it. Tag dies in plan E.

Tag: I like plan E.

-

Big Papa: Thomas's refusing to wear his glasses!

Thomas: Big Papa, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.

Thomas: *points to Avalon* Avalon.

Thomas: *points to Mina* Mina.

Thomas: *points to Tag* Sasquatch.

-

The Group: *walking at the mall*

Mina: Hey, have any of you guys seen Thomas? He's been gone for a while..

Tag: Eh, nope.

Avalon: No, I haven’t...

Big Papa: Probably ran off to the theater or something.

Thomas: Hey.

Avalon: Ooh, there you are-

Mina: What the fu-

Big Papa: I- where were you?!

Thomas: Walking right behind you guys.

-

Big Papa: What’s something you guys are better than Thomas at?

Tag: Mario Kart.

Mina: Yeah, video games.

Avalon: Emotional vulnerability.

-

Mina: Isn’t it weird that we can’t ride any other animal except horses. Like if horses weren’t a thing, humans would be fucked cause we couldn’t ride any other animals. Like riding animals wouldn’t really be a thing. We should probably be more grateful to horses.

Big Papa: Elephants.

Mina: Blocked.

Avalon: Camels.

Mina: Extra blocked.

Thomas: Donkeys.

Mina: Ultra blocked.

Tag: That dick.

Mina: ...Followed.

-

Big Papa: Tag is okay.

Thomas: He's okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause he gave me the mackerel eyes, he meant it!

Big Papa: Thomas, Tag threatened me. He threatens Mina every day. He probably threatened Avalon before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Grow a pair.

-

Big Papa: What makes you all smile?

Avalon: Friends and Family.

Tag: Snacks.

Mina: Victory and success.

Thomas: Face muscles.

-

*the group is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*

Big Papa: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer?

Tag: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine.

Avalon: What about Thomas? Nobody ever suspects Thomas!

Thomas: Well what about Mina? She has a gun!

Mina: Big Papa has a knife.

Big Papa: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Avalon in the arm*

-

Thomas: You're a lying piece of shit!

Mina: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!

Tag: I'm leaving and I'm taking Big Papa with me!

Avalon, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

-

Mina: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Tag will and will not eat.

Big Papa: Grass? Yes!

Mina: Moss? Yes!!

Big Papa: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Mina: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Big Papa: Worms? Sometimes!

Mina: Rocks? Usually nah.

Big Papa: Twigs? Usually!

Mina: Thomas's cooking? Inconclusive!

Avalon: How did you… test this?

Mina: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.

Avalon: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Thomas: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

-

Thomas: Where’s Tag?

Mina: Doing stuff.

Thomas: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Avalon?

Mina: Trying to stop Tag from doing the stuff.

Thomas: And Big Papa?

Mina: Trying to stop Avalon from stopping Tag from doing the stuff.

Thomas: I see. And what are you doing here, Mina?

Mina: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Big Papa from stopping Avalon from stopping Tag from doing the stuff.

[parkminijiminie]

Jms birthday their anniversary thing in November Jk got multiple openings if they were off and are back on to clear shit up on the km side of the equation if they want to you can't unfuck people so whatever happened back then happened but you can deny current gf allegations so people know she's not a part of his life rn. The one agreement jkkrs seem to have other than this being an intentional smear campaign is that they're in a good place though so if this is them finding a good place to settle as friends then that's nice and they can hopefully also finally shut things down for once because we've never got our own stop being delulu moment like that other breed and I think it's needed with the CT and busan trip happening recently most people can kinda retrospectively infer timelines so mid-late 22- early 23 is where people are landing on a potential split but the uptick in them again recently for no real reason is grounds for possible reconciliation theories. So if its not that it'd be good to clean house imo this mess makes me think we could get most people on board with them not being a current item if they just say it because lots of people are open to them being in outside relationships but the tl is messy and the world is burning around them and they're in stupid matching outfits and ppl are only human and can only make assumptions on what they see and if what they see if JIKOOK (no other people) less jikook that suspiciously coincides with other people JIKOOK (reverting back to old patterns no other people) its gives break up and make up time will always be a snitch though and we'll see if that flirty naked live was worth anything eventually

If the (shipping) world is burning around them, is it really JK and JM's responsibility to put it down? While I, too, would appreciate some closure, this relationship is Jimin and Jungkook's and they don't own us anything. They have no responsibility to us. We should remember this.

Personally, had it not been for the NY-CT trip and the subsequent live and posts after it, I'd have thrown the towel on them being together in any non-platonic capacity a long time ago. As it is, though, there's still room for people to make theories, speculate (as I am doing, obvi) and in turn, deny any possibility that JK is straight and has a gf.

So, yeah , I too would love some more clarity, I agree with you here, but I would never ever demand it from them. I'm nobody to them and how they conduct their elationship is their own business.

[trashmouthsahra]

I posted 40 times in 2021

22 posts created (55%)

18 posts reblogged (45%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.8 posts.

I added 69 tags in 2021

#trashmouthsahra post - 23 posts

#dream smp - 7 posts

#batfam x reader - 6 posts

#batfam - 6 posts

#the originals - 5 posts

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#incorrect y/n - 4 posts

#dc - 4 posts

#wilbur soot - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 30 characters

#incorrect the originals quotes

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Incorrect quotes with the Mikaelsons ft. Innocent!Y/N

Elijah: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Y/N: ...I did. I broke it.

Elijah: No. No, you didn't. Kol?

Kol: Don't look at me. Look at Bex.

Rebekah: What?! I didn't break it.

Kol: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Rebekah: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Kol: Suspicious.

Rebekah: No, it's not!

Klaus: If it matters, probably not, but Freya was the last one to use it.

Freya: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Klaus: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Freya: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Nik!

Y/N: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Lijah.

Elijah: No! Who broke it!?

𝑺𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆

Rebekah: Elijah... Kol's been awfully quiet.

Kol: rEaLlY!?

𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈

Elijah talking with Hayley: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Hayley: :o

Elijah: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Probably not Y/N they will try to calm the others down.

Elijah: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

𝐈 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐚𝐝! @𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡_𝐒𝐚𝐡𝐫𝐚

269 notes • Posted 2021-10-31 22:24:16 GMT

#4

Y/N: Yeeted.

Tim: Yote.

Y/N: YEETED!

Tim: YOTE!

Bruce, sighing: I just wanted to know who threw a computer off the roof.

330 notes • Posted 2021-11-21 17:50:52 GMT

#3

Whose (not) Adopted?

Philza: I hate to tell you but one of you is adopted.

Techno, Wilbur, Tommy, and Y/N:

Y/N: Only one?

Wilbur: Techno, Y/N and I don't even look like you, we don't look like each other!

Y/N: The only one who looks like you is Tommy! And even I question if he is your actual son.

Tommy: I am adopted!

Technoblade: I'm surrounded by idiots...

339 notes • Posted 2021-12-08 23:04:20 GMT

#2

Dick: Can I get a hug?

Y/N:

Y/N: *Running away*

Dick: Oh... :(

Jason, squinting at something at the distance:... I think they are coming back.

Dick, smiling and looking at Y/N: Wait,really?!

Y/N: *sprinting at Dick as fast as they can with their arms held out.*

Y/N: Weeeeeeeee

Dick:

Dick, panicked: Fuck

363 notes • Posted 2021-12-08 10:53:25 GMT

#1

Incorrect Quotes Batfam ft. Damian's S/O Y/N

Y/N: I told Damian his ears flush when he lies.

Jason: Why?

Y/N: Look.

Y/N: Hey Damian! Do you love us?

Damian, covering his ears: No.

Dick overhearing the conversation: Awww Dams

...

Damian: You like me for my personality?

Y/N: I know I was surprised too.

...

Y/N: Alright,it needs your password. Please don't tell me it's 1234

Dick:No it's not!

Jason: Wait really?

Dick: Yeah it's 123456

Y/N: Oh my god.

...

Y/N: You have to apologise to Jon, love.

Damian: Fine.

Damian: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

...

Computer: Enter Password.

Jason: *Types Y/N*

Computer: The password is too short.

Jason: Hey Y/N look at what the computer says about you! *snorts*

Y/N: *Flips him off*

...

Damian: This doesn't involve you.

Y/N: How the hell does it not-

Damian: Look! So what if I am in love with you?! Mind your own business!

See the full post

841 notes • Posted 2021-11-17 20:49:47 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[unlimitedhorsepower]

I can't sleep bc my brain is unwittingly thinking up counter-arguments to the claim my friend made earlier today that Ryan has never had sex bc it would be funny.

And I'm pretty sure I made a post on here where I called Ryan unfuckable but it was a JOKE. I think Ryan is good at sex like it was a competition because that's what he would do. He would want to WIN

Listen very closely now...

Ryan thematically and even design-wise falls between kotetsu and barnaby (which is funny to me and I think about it often like they really went like we need a 3rd guy what sort of guy should he be. Oh I know).

Barnaby is the sort of guy who hadn't held anyone's hand bc he was too busy thinking about revenge. Meanwhile Kotetsu already had been married and in love and has a kid you see.

And then, Ryan is experienced, that's his thing. Ryan and his 36484 past girlfriends that he liked enough but who he nonetheless broke up with somehow and was fine

Do you see what I see... he's fun and genuine enough even when he's difficult on purpose but did he really ever dare to be vulnerable enough:/ or was he too busy being awesome and perfect:/

The vibes were off (candid testimonial by that woman he went on a date with in his daily schedule that I think about a normal amount). And ryan just went like okey-dokey (organises an another date with a different woman the next day)

:/

[punkscowardschampions]

Chloé & Buster

Chloé: You coming to Abi's party tonight? Buster: No Chloé: Why not! Gonna be such a laugh Buster: It's not really any of your business, is it, Chlo, but let's be honest even if I was in the country, we both know it wouldn't be a laugh Buster: Abi's probably fucked up already Buster: And that's only one of the reasons why it's a no Chloé: Ooh, someone's moody! Chloé: Unlucky you're out of town babes 😂 Chloé: Family time, is it? Yawn Buster: Fuck off, Chlo Buster: There are other things to do besides annoying my sister, you should try it Chloé: Not in her inbox, am I? Chloé: 😷 Chloé: As if you're doing anything worth talking about Buster: Neither am I so how in the hell would I know, like? Buster: Why do you care so much still what I'm doing? Buster: Sort it out, babe. The who ain't you, but there's plenty of lads in your postcode who would Chloé: Just inviting you to a bash don't get wild about it Chloé: Never see you out these days, not YOUR postcode anymore, no? Chloé: Fake girlfriend still, is it? 💔 Buster: And why do you reckon that is, babe? Buster: Fault's yours not mine. Stop inviting me out, yeah? I'm not here for it. Or you Buster: I'm not sorry I'm busy with my actual girlfriend Chloé: What have I done! Chloé: Nothing but nice to you, and your sister, for that matter Buster: If that's what you think I ain't got the time to change your mind Buster: Nor write you a list, like Chloé: 🙄 The theatrics! Chloé: So, what's she like then? Must be something if you're willing to leave here for it Buster: Draw your own conclusions Buster: I'm not talking about her to you Chloé: Cute 💘 Chloé: Though you don't need to talk that game to me Chloé: Might be able to convince a girl outside the postcode that you're #loyal babes but no need or way that'll wash with me 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: Maybe the reason I had to go out of the postcode was less to do with me and more about the type of girl there, you ever thought on that? Chloé: Omg Chloé: Admitting you can't handle us? Buster: You wish Buster: It wasn't a compliment, babe Chloé: Whatevs Chloé: You're looking good anyway Buster: Course I am Buster: Is there anything else I can actually do for you or what? 'Cause there's plenty my girlfriend can do for me if we're done here Chloé: If you wanna make me jealous Chloé: so many better ways to go about it Buster: Please Buster: Don't flatter yourself, honestly Chloé: Who's this??? Chloé: [Rio's post] Buster: Your subtlety is astounding Buster: Your sleuthing needs some work though, clearly Chloé: It's on my feed, I ain't ashamed Buster: Give it a double tap and move on, babe Chloé: Yeah, don't think she's your type Chloé: Maybe your sister's, she's always commenting hmm Buster: Like you know anything about mine or my sister's type of girl Chloé: Getting warmer, am I? Buster: In the sense you're getting more desperate, yeah Buster: If this turns you on that's an issue for you to worry about, not me Chloé: Please Chloé: it's fun isn't it Buster: No Buster: If I tell you who she is will you go away? Chloé: Sure! Buster: She's one of my many cousins, alright Chloé: Oh Chloé: That explains it Chloé: Disappointing but don't need to tell you that Buster: Off you go then Chloé: No Chloé: I thougt you were going to tell me who your girlfriend is Buster: Why the fuck would I do that? Chloé: Why would I care who your skanky cousin is? Buster: 'Cause you're obsessed with me apparently Buster: And don't call her that Chloé: Like you care babes Buster: I obviously do or else I wouldn't waste my breath telling you to shut up Chloé: You've said worse about all of 'em Chloé: Oh my Gosh Chloé: Just realised who she is Buster: I can whatever I want. Who the fuck are you? Buster: Congrats Chloé: She is, isn't she? Chloé: The one everyone's slept with Chloé: How shaming Buster: It'd sound more sincere if you hadn't slept with most of Chelsea, babe Buster: One rule for you, yeah? Chloé: I live here, I didn't fly in for the experience Chloé: Why was she even here? Buster: Maybe if you upped your own game the lads wouldn't need her to fly in Chloé: How can you talk about your own family like that you sicko Buster: 😂 Buster: You do have a moral code of some sort then? Buster: Take it up with your boy besties, they're the ones who like to chat about it Chloé: More than you do, clearly Chloé: Doesn't that just make you want to die? How mortifying Buster: It makes me wanna kill them Buster: Thanks for asking Chloé: As if you're any better 😂 Buster: I don't sleep with any girls they care about, do I? Chloé: Yeah right Chloé: Family man now, are you babes? Chloé: Take it up with her if you're so close now Buster: Whatever, Chlo Chloé: More touchy about this than you were with your own sister Chloé: Guess there was no risk of all your mates getting on her Buster: Exactly Buster: And you've missed your chance too so no worries there Chloé: You're so vile Buster: Like you'd be above fucking my sister? Okay babe Chloé: 🤢 Chloé: I'd sooner drink bleach Chloé: thank you Buster: I'm sure she would too Buster: Shame there was none in my glass that night at the party, like Chloé: Sorry to disappoint whatever incest kink you've got going on Chloé: but nah babes Buster: Why? You ain't been sorry about being a let down in any other way Chloé: Shut up Chloé: I was wasted and you're not giving a second chance Buster: If it was only how unfuckable you are, I'd let you off Chloé: You certainly managed Chloé: Trust me Buster: As I've only got your word on it, I have to Chloé: How else do you expect me to prove it? Chloé: DNA test? Buster: I don't care Buster: It happened and it ain't again. End of story Chloé: Whatever you say Buster: There ain't nothing else to say Buster: Unless you've got something you desperately wanna add? Chloé: Just talking to James Chloé: he reckons you're well weird about your cousin Buster: Says the lad who told me in graphic detail what fucking her was like? Okay Chloé: Didn't do it for you? Chloé: Poor boy 😂 Buster: But I'm the vile one, sure Chlo Chloé: Calm down, it's only bants Chloé: You're sooooo serious now Buster: Serious about how much I want you to fuck off out of my inbox Chloé: Can't handle it now or what? Chloé: There's a reason, I know Buster: I ain't never wanted to handle you, babe Chloé: Obvs not Chloé: not related to you am I Chloé: how country 😂 Buster: Fuck off Buster: Excuse me if you slagging off my family isn't a huge turn on for me, like Chloé: Why's it matter Chloé: Not gonna say it to their face am I Buster: You literally did say shit to my sister though Buster: Already forgotten or what? Chloé: No I never Chloé: Mads tagged her Chloé: then everyone else did Chloé: it wasn't me Buster: Back in the day in was all you though Chloé: She say that did she? Chloé: I was the only one who even tried to be her friend Chloé: not my fault she was in love with me Buster: Bullshit Buster: You ain't her type either, babe Buster: Get over yourself Chloé: Hmm not how I remember it Chloé: not like you were paying any attention so what would you know tbh Buster: I've heard it from her now Buster: Not just in Dublin seeing my girlfriend, as you've already worked out Chloé: Thrilled for you both, I'm sure Buster: Act like it then Buster: Leave me alone Buster: And it goes without saying, my sister as well Chloé: Well you see I can't Chloé: Hate to burst your bubble, of course Buster: Yeah you can Chloé: I really can't Chloé: As fun as this has been I have some news Buster: Go on then Buster: Sooner you've said it, sooner you can go Chloé: Ha Chloé: I'm pregnant Buster: What the fuck, Chlo? Even for you that's low Buster: Still going to Abi's party though, yeah? Buster: Bullshit Chloé: God, I can still have fun and A GLASS Chloé: beside the point Chloé: [pics of tests] Buster: Well yeah, you can do whatever you want until you prove it's my kid Chloé: How do you expect me to do that Chloé: and I know it's yours, thank you very much Buster: You might, but I don't Buster: And forgive me if I don't automatically take your word for it after all the shit you've said and done, like Chloé: Well if you weren't being so difficult Buster: Me? Buster: Fuck that Buster: Get a prenatal DNA and get back to me or wait until the kid is born, do it and get back to me Chloé: Wow Chloé: Class act Chloé: That's going to require a bit of cooperation, babes Buster: All you need is a blood sample or mouth swab Buster: I'll give you either Chloé: Done this before, have you? Chloé: Jesus Christ Chloé: it's a child, your child Buster: Not as far I know yet Buster: You having this convo with James and the rest of them too, are you? Chloé: Fuck off Chloé: No Chloé: and don't you dare tell ANYONE Buster: Like I want them knowing about it Buster: Whether it's my kid or not Buster: I've gotta tell my parents though so Chloé: You can tell them Chloé: Mine don't know yet Buster: You should tell them too Chloé: Will you tell them with me? Buster: Okay Chloé: Yay good Chloé: When are you back? Buster: I was gonna skip school but Buster: When were you planning on telling them? Chloé: I don't know, doesn't matter Buster: Of course it does Buster: You need to decide what you're gonna do Buster: They can help you Chloé: What? Chloé: I know what I'm doing Chloé: I've already been shopping with the girls Buster: I thought you didn't want anyone to know? Chloé: I don't want YOU telling people it could be anyone else's Chloé: when it couldn't, how rude Buster: So you've told your friends but not your parents? Buster: Come on, Chlo Buster: Have you even been to the doctors or anything? Chloé: Yeah they'll just fuss and wanna know things Chloé: how cringe Chloé: No point yet Chloé: I think Chloé: it's like 12 weeks scan, yeah? Buster: You can get DNA done at 9 weeks Buster: I've just looked it up Chloé: How long's it been? Buster: If you don't know that how are you so sure it's my kid? Chloé: I haven't slept with anyone else for ages Chloé: if you must know Buster: It is kind of worth knowing, yeah Buster: Fuck's sake Chloé: Don't be funny with me Chloé: I just know alright Buster: Don't tell me how to be Buster: I asked you after if you needed me to take you to the pill and you said no Chloé: Well I thought I was fine, obviously Buster: Well, now neither of us are, obviously Chloé: I'm good Chloé: Drama Chloé: It'll be nice, if you let it Buster: Nice? Buster: Grow up, Chlo Chloé: Well I'm not getting rid of it Chloé: you've done it now, deal with it Buster: Like I said, when you prove to me that it's my baby, I will Chloé: Fine, I will Chloé: you'll see Chloé: anyway, I'm going out, gotta get my nails done for tonight Buster: I'm glad you've got your priorities in order, babe Buster: Jesus Christ Chloé: What? Chloé: I can't do anything, I told you I've got loads of stuff for it Chloé: keeping it at Lindseys Buster: Don't go the party Buster: That's what you could do Chloé: I'm not going to sit at home on a saturday night Chloé: i'm not 40 Buster: Clearly. 40 year old's don't tend to get knocked up accidentally as a rule Chloé: Menopause'll do that to you babe Buster: That's not the point Buster: We need to talk about this you can't just ruin my life and then go do a toast with your friends Chloé: Me ruin yours? I didn't impregnate myself Buster: You're ruining your own by not thinking this through Chloé: I'm not a baby killer Chloé: sorry about it Buster: I don't even have words for how stupid that sounds Chloé: I can't believe you're trying to make me get an abortion Buster: I'm not trying to make you do anything except use your brain Buster: What about uni? Are you still gonna go or what? Buster: Are you gonna get your own place or stay with your mum and dad? Chloé: Wow, 20 questions! Buster: This isn't a game Buster: Fucking hell Chloé: I'm having a baby Chloé: that's my plan Buster: And then what? Chloé: Be a mum? Buster: You know how hard that's gonna be, yeah? Chloé: I think I'll manage babe Chloé: I'm not an idiot Buster: You're an idiot if you think it's easy Chloé: How hard can it be Buster: Very Buster: Babies can't do fuck all and kids aren't much better Chloé: Yeah, I know how to feed it and change it Chloé: Abi's got a baby sister she's so cute Buster: Good for her Buster: I bet she ain't doing the night feeds while her parents sleep, is she Chloé: Whatever Buster: Don't fucking whatever me, Chlo Chloé: Don't you talk to me like that Buster: I can't talk to you right now if you're gonna be like this Chloé: That's good because you're making me late Buster: Fine Buster: Bye then Chloé: 👋

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Happy New Year, shortcake! Ali: You still alive? Carly: Same to you, baby Carly: Have fun? Carly: im hanging on you kno Carly: got my guitar out & everything Ali: I don't even know how to put it into words Ali: Magical Ali: awh, you using your death rattle as percussion Ali: about that Carly: yea? Carly: i wish id been there Carly: i miss you Carly: & your magic Ali: baby 😔 you poor thing Ali: of all the times to get mono Ali: i'll bring you chicken soup when i've recovered enough to go in the kitchen without retching Carly: that good of a night tho Carly: love it Carly: i dont want you to get sick baby Ali: plague parcel Ali: keep your bodily fluids where I can see 'em 😉 Ali: it really was Ali: Cavante was there Carly: w his bf or latest gf? Ali: Neither! 😍 Ali: Well, Drew might've been about but busiest night of the year for him like so couldn't be up in our business Carly: didnt text me the prick Carly: i kno im sick but im still hot Carly: how much business did you get up to w your boy tho? Carly: you his now or Ali: how rude, coulda offered to medicate you Ali: make a killing, think on lad Ali: I dunno, I don't know what it was Ali: but I'll be sad and surprised if it was just last night, like Carly: & he kno he benefits whenever im this bored Carly: your loss lad Carly: baby dont be sad Carly: hes wanted you for ages theres no stopping him now Ali: He's a fool, straight up Ali: [Sends their tattoo pic] Ali: Gotta be some sort of promises, right? Carly: wtf Carly: thats a claim Carly: divorce is on the cards for us cos hes trying to marry you himself Ali: Never Ali: wifey 4 life Ali: not just 'cos we can't afford the fees Carly: but wheres my tat bitch? Carly: I been putting in the work Carly: hes done 1 night shift Ali: you want one? Ali: only gotta ask boo Carly: make him beg did you Carly: nah Carly: too little too late girl Ali: aw, don't be like that Ali: I didn't know you wanted to get inked Carly: im no type of way idk Carly: write him on you if you want its no big Ali: Yeah but its clearly more of a deal than I thought it'd be Ali: talk to me, I wanna know what you really think Carly: do you have my black shoes Carly: i gotta find them Ali: Carls Carly: what Carly: thats what im thinking Carly: im bored of being here Carly: i need to go out Ali: are you well enough, you were at death's door like, yesterday Carly: idc Carly: this is no fun Ali: no but neither will be collapsing as soon as you have one drink, like Carly: i wont ask you to pick me back up its alright Ali: Don't Ali: Lemme come over, we can have fun there Ali: you don't need to do this Carly: i need to get out of this fucking caravan Carly: so nah Ali: okay Ali: fresh air isn't the worst idea Ali: where you gonna go Carly: idk idc Carly: someone will be about Carly: in their garden throwing up or pissing out last night if nothing else Ali: Can I come? Carly: why Ali: well, 'cos I wanna see you Ali: also make sure you don't die in a ditch, like Carly: i kno my way around Carly: how far you think im gonna get like Ali: I know Ali: for my own sake then? lemme be selfish Carly: he not let you do what you wanted then? Carly: aw Carly: didnt think cavante would be like that Ali: I don't think you wanna know really Carly: i do kno Carly: magical yea Ali: You're mad? Carly: nah Ali: We're good? Carly: i said i wasn't mad not that idc Ali: What can I do to make it up to you? Ali: I didn't go out with that intention but I also didn't know that it would do this Carly: who goes out w intentions Carly: did you kno he was gonna be there? Ali: Nah Ali: I didn't know where I'd end up, even Carly: k Carly: least you hooked w someone who would treat you nice Ali: You know I like him Ali: but that doesn't negate how I feel about you Carly: k but you like him so much if he wanted to be w you id be gone Carly: loyal vibes we kno Ali: I don't know, that's the truth Ali: not gone, ever Ali: but it might be different, yeah Carly: youd friendzone me i kno Carly: ive done it Ali: is that such a bad thing Carly: theres no need for me to answer that Carly: the fact you asked it shows what you think Ali: i'm just saying, friendship is underrated Ali: and i'm not thinking or saying anything for definite Ali: idk, my head is fucked Carly: you arent until he does Carly: done that too like Ali: that ain't it Carly: im not stupid ali Ali: i know you ain't Ali: but we've already talked so i'm not waiting on no one but you Carly: cuz he said no Carly: is that how it is Ali: no Ali: he said to hit him up when i know what i'm doing Ali: do you actually think i would do that Ali: i'm just trying to work out what we're doing Carly: idk Carly: i just kno how much you like him Ali: yeah Ali: but i like you too Carly: & i like you too Carly: but he doesnt want me babe Ali: No Ali: jesus Carly: unfuck your head Carly: use the stash or anything else you need Ali: i know Ali: i know i need to Ali: i'm sorry, yeah? Ali: i'm gonna sort this Carly: dont be sorry Carly: or sad Ali: how can i not be Ali: i don't want to hurt you, ever Carly: its done babe Carly: forget it Ali: nah Ali: its fucked up Ali: i am Carly: nah youre not Carly: only if you didnt care Carly: but you do Carly: & youve been so good to me Carly: you are being now Ali: i'm not going to stop Ali: if you still want me to Ali: i love you no matter what, okay? Carly: i kno Carly: i love you too Ali: i'm gonna sort this, i swear Ali: can i drop off some chicken soup and stuff at least Ali: i won't come in if you don't want Carly: i want you to Carly: but i meant what i said i dont want you to get sick Ali: i'll be careful Ali: i wanna take care of you Carly: but i dont wanna be careful me or you Carly: i want you to kno how much i love you Carly: i dont like that he gets to be w you that way & i dont Ali: I know baby Ali: for the record, I don't care if I get sick but Ali: I don't want you to feel like you've got something to prove Carly: but i do Carly: you like us both Carly: i want you to want me more than him Ali: Babe, its not that simple Ali: Wish it was, like Carly: what can i do then Carly: tell me how to make it simple Ali: If I find out Ali: I'll let you know Ali: its me though Ali: no self-pity bullshit or cliche about it Ali: just facts Carly: do you love him Ali: I mean Ali: too soon to say, yeah? Carly: yeah or nah Carly: i kno you kno Ali: yeah Carly: k Ali: but i love you too Carly: i get bi means two Carly: but i dont think it works like that Ali: I know Carly: yea dont come over if itll fuck your head up more Ali: idc Ali: only if it'll fuck up yours Carly: i do Carly: i care about you Ali: you're gonna make me cry Carly: sorry Carly: we should get out of our heads Carly: not gonna unfuck them like Carly: but will help Ali: 'til we have to deal with it in the morning Ali: january 1st, yeah, good a day as any to attempt to sort our shit Carly: yea Ali: That said Ali: wish you were better so we could get outta here Carly: me too Carly: where do you wanna go? Carly: i can make it im strong Ali: let me spirit you away for some sea air Ali: that's how they kicked it if you were dying back in the day Carly: we could get your ex to drive us Carly: 3s a party Carly: dont mind making her sick since she aint about me Ali: 🙄 sure, lets rent a mini-bus and make it a reunion of all the former flames Ali: I've got money for the actual Ali: wanna go down Malahide? Carly: serious? Ali: why not Ali: i don't reckon you'll actually drop down, like Ali: and gotta keep making good on my promise to take you away from here Ali: even if its only half an hour down the road Carly: lets go Carly: ill leave my ma a note not that shes bothered where i go any other time Ali: buy her a stick of rock Ali: if she's really arsey she knows where to stick it Carly: ha Carly: idc what she thinks Carly: ill be sick wherever i am Ali: May as well have a view that ain't the inside of your room Carly: & have fun w my baby while i still can Ali: no while about it Ali: we're always gonna have fun Carly: but hes gonna move into my time & fun Ali: hmm Ali: maybe a smidge, not going to make promises I can't keep Ali: but not all of it, THAT I promise Ali: I'm always going to have time for you, Carls Carly: promise Ali: fucking promise Ali: you're still my girl Carly: & youre mine Ali: hell yeah Ali: on some forever shit you and me Carly: new year but same us Ali: you know it Ali: ain't a resolution to lose you, nah Carly: you gonna ink me then Ali: can Ali: if you want to Ali: ideas? Carly: idc Carly: do what you want Carly: i trust you Ali: okay Ali: challenge accepted Carly: i kno youre up to it