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lilydalexf · 3 years

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Tabula Rasa

Tabula Rasa has 8 stories at Gossamer, but there are even more X-Files fics at AO3 and her website. She writes Mulder and Scully in a very lovely way. I've recced 3 of my favorites of her fics here before: Bird in Snow, Fall: East on M St, and Skuamorph. Big thanks to Tabula Rasa for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

I'm always extremely pleasantly surprised to get kudos (or, very rarely, a comment) on my old fic, but I'm always happy to see it! I did post them all (I think) to AO3. I'm not surprised people are still reading fic, though. It's an iconic show and now with streaming, it's really easy to watch older shows and natural to want fic about them!

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

XF was my first fandom, definitely my first online fandom, and so it will always have a special place in my heart. Also... I had a great time! I stumbled upon and joined the Scullyfic email list by accident, but it was the best thing I could have done. I learned a lot about how to be a writer and how to be in fandom, and those lessons are still important to me. Foundational. Also, in terms of modern fandom drama, XF was more low-key on the drama (although it didn't seem like it at the time!). But I learned something that's always served me well: find like-minded people, and hang out with them. Don't worry about the rest.

Also... you can't control the show, but you kind of can control the canon.

Because of Scully, I ended up taking a forensic anthropology class in university-- and now I have a Master's in a forensic science! Part of the Scully Effect, and proud of it!

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Definitely mostly email list! I never really got the hang of message boards. Posting fic was exhausting, and tbh I never figured out how to work Ephemeral. I checked it every day, though! I loved, after a new episode, everyone sending in their thoughts and reading everyone's experiences together. Fandom was a lot more work back then, tbh!

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

That fic can be just as good, or better, than traditionally published works. There are works of XF fic that have stuck with me for years now, far more than some books I've read. That fan writers can know the characters better than the show writers. The fandom in general was really smart, and mostly more adult than me (I joined fandom when I went away to college, so I always felt at the younger end of the scale. That was good though!).

Also, my first time reading and writing porn. Not gonna lie, I was shocked the first time I accidentally read smut. But I adjusted fast. lol

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

I was still a kid (now we would say preteen) when the show premiered- I think in middle school. But I was already into ghosts, aliens, monsters, solving mysteries, and I'd already imprinted on the dynamic thanks to Square One (really)! I was also just old enough to start developing celebrity crushes. Hilariously, I did not twig to the fact that I'm bisexual the entire time I was in XF fandom, despite having enormous crushes on BOTH Mulder and Scully. Ahhhh!

Also, my whole family was into the show, but I was definitely the one with the hyperfixation. I used to take notes and record the episodes as I watched. It just had the right stuff and hit at the right time. And I've always been obsessive.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

As a kid I also really liked Star Trek, and someone had given my dad a book about the history of Star Trek, which I read. This included mentions of fandom and fanfic. As soon as I had a private-- and perhaps more importantly fast-- internet connection (in college), I went looking for XF fanfic, and that was that. Hooked immediately. Also I shipped them A LOT so that's what I went looking for.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I tend to not go back to a fandom once I have a new fandom, so I wouldn't say I'm in it. I did hang around the edges for the revival, of course, because I wanted to experience that with the same people, but since the revival was mostly not that great (with a few exceptions), I didn't get pulled back into it. But I still think of the people I knew in the fandom a lot, and always hope they're doing well.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I've never left fandom, and I've been in a BUNCH: Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Bandom, Supernatural, now CQL/The Untamed and other Chinese-media fandoms, with many smaller ones in between or on the side. I feel like at their core fandoms tend to be similar, although where you host the fandom makes a big difference: Livejournal, tumblr, twitter. I think that because fandoms now tend to be bigger and more diverse (which is good) there tends to be more wank (which is bad). In some of them I was close to a group of people, some of them not. Honestly the best thing is when someone you know from an old fandom is in your new fandom. It's so much fun. I have really good friends thanks to fandom, and I've had them for YEARS. Like. 15 years.

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I tend to focus more on ships than characters, but some of my all-time favs: Scully, Hermione, Sirius Black, Castiel, Lan Wangji, Xie Lian. That's just fandom-oriented ones, otherwise we'd be here all day. :D

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I don't often rewatch episodes any more, although if I come across an ep on tv I might. I definitely still think about them though! For example, I'm a teacher now, and just a couple weeks ago one of my colleagues mentioned he'd heard the students saying they shipped two of their classmates, and he was like "Ship? I don't get it" and I was like "HOO BOY, do I have a story for you!" And I explained how shipping came from XF fandom, and why. That was fun. I definitely still think about Mulder and Scully too-- I mean, they're cultural touchstones, so they do come up sometimes in greater pop culture. Also, I was in Hannibal fandom for a while, and Gillian Anderson is still The Best.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I haven't read XF fic in years, even the ones I remember as being really significant/important to me. I still have my all-time favs saved on an external HD though! Fic in another fandom- every day lol.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Blinded by White Light by DashaK has stuck with me. Mr. and Mrs. Smith and the Ruby-Throated Warbler by I forget I'm so sorry -- that's lasted as my ideal post-canon MSR and as an interesting and different way to tell a story. [Lilydale note: It’s by rah.] I was always thrilled to see fic by Brandon, JET, MaybeAmanda, Syntax6... and, frankly, everyone on the Scullyfic/ Emuse list. So many talented people in that fandom!

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Things Outside, which is the only thing I've ever written based on a dream, and I'm really satisfied with it. It was hard to write but so much fun to revel in the weirdness. I always kind of wanted to write more because I know a lot more about the situation, but otoh, I like the open, ambiguous ending (usually I am very HEA).

In other fandoms, King & Country in bandom (MCR) and in Supernatural I'm very proud of Hope and Clay. I struggle to write casefics even though I love to read them, but that one really worked out.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I don't think I'll ever write something new. There is an old fic that may be done but it was smut so I was too shy to post it at the time. In theory if I find it and it's decent, I could post it!

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I do! I write fic very slowly, but I do write still! I have a million ideas for stories, but I'm so slow at the actual writing part.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I usually take a jumping-off point from canon, or of course, something I need to fix or expand on. Or sometimes I start telling myself a story as I fall asleep and the idea grabs me long enough I can manage to write it.

What's the story behind your pen name?

I was getting into fandom and realized people didn't use their real names. I flipped through my history book looking for inspiration, and decided tabula rasa was a great name for a writer. I tend to add an X because it's rare to get "tabularasa" as a username, and the X is indeed for X-Files (so I'm something like tabulaxrasa most places). I usually go by Tabula Rasa or Tab, though. And I still use it because 1) it IS a great name for a writer; and 2) it's not fandom-specific so I can keep it in every fandom.

I identify with it so much I have answered to this name in class (oops). I have a "Tab" t-shirt (as in the soda, but I have worn it to Comic-Con for ease of ID-- better than a nametag!). And my mom got me a necklace with a "tab" typewriter key as a charm, which I adore. Yes, I have accidental merch of myself.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

As you can tell from the above, my family knows (my family being my parents and sister). They are supportive! I think my mom read a couple stories? But obviously she has to know the fandom to get it... I got my sister into fic, and we even wrote a couple fics together (in Gundam Wing). She's a lot more selective about fandoms, but she's joined fandoms on her own, too. She's just not in one constantly, like me. :p

I tend not to tell not-online friends unless I have felt them out and know they're super fannish, or they bring it up first.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

Most of my old fic is now on AO3 and I hang out on twitter a lot, @tabula_x_rasa

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

I'm really glad people are still in this fandom! It will always be so important to me. Thank you Lilydale, for this nostalgia trip!

(Posted by Lilydale on March 30, 2021)

#old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #tabula rosa

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houseof-harry · 4 years

Text

What Happens in Jersey | G.D.

A/N - hey guys! this is my first time posting anything I’ve written on tumblr so pls forgive me if it’s total shit. I’m super excited to hear any feedback and if you would be interested in a second part or something!!!

Word count: 5K

Warnings: smut

Summary - Y/N is in New Jersey with her college friend for the week of New Years. She takes a particular liking to Grayson Dolan, but only plans for it to be a one time thing. But things never go as planned.

It would be safe to say you were a bit of a nomad. You had grown up in a small town and decided to go to college far away from there. Once you left, your parents wanted out too. However, you never had any interest in sitting in the middle of the mountains with them while you were on breaks, so you found yourself bouncing around from place to place, never really staying with anyone for more than a couple of weeks.

That’s how you ended up in New Jersey with your best friend from school. Jessie was kind enough to let you stay with him the last few weeks of your winter break. You were excited because after spending time with your whole family, you would finally be able to just hang out with your friends again. Or Jessie’s friends, rather.

You and Jessie were seniors this year, and you had no idea where post-graduation would take you. That’s why you’re soaking up every minute with him while you can. His friends were all super welcoming of you and have made you feel like you were meant to be there with them all the time. After hanging out with them all week, you were exciting to be spending New Year’s Eve with them, too.

“Do you know what you’re going to wear for New Year’s yet?” Jessie asks, pulling you from your train of thought.

“No, I still have to go through what I brought with me. How fancy do you guys usually go?”

“It’s pretty casual. The girls wear jeans and a cute top, nothing crazy. I’m gonna wear jeans and a t-shirt.” He shrugs, looking back down at his phone. You walk over to your bag to look for the perfect top. You were hoping that one of his friends would finally make a pass at you, so you wanted to dress the part. Not just any of his friends, though. Grayson Dolan specifically.

Grayson had been particularly nice to you since you’d come to town. You hoped you weren’t reading into it too much and that he was actually interested because if you were being honest, it had been a minute since you’d had any action. That’s all you needed. No strings, not even a second night together. Just something to end the dry spell that came along with the stress of trying to graduate college.

You pulled out a gold sequined top. It showed plenty of chest without being too scandalous and always looked good paired with the black jeans you had packed. You pulled the jeans out along with a pair of heels and got Jessie’s attention.

“Do you think this’ll look good?” You ask him, looking down at the outfit and then back up at him.

“Yeah, that top always looks good on you. Who’re you trying to impress?” He jokes, already knowing the answer. Jessie is always up to date on your romantic life (or lack of one), and could tell immediately that you had taken a liking to Grayson. He seemed to think Grayson had taken a similar liking to me, which is the whole reason you have your hopes up in the first place.

“You know why.” You roll your eyes and put the clothes on top of your bag.

“He’s gonna go crazy for you in that, don’t worry.” Jessie let out a bit of a sigh before you stood up.

“I’m gonna take a shower. Movie after before we go to bed?” You ask.

“Sure.” He responds, not looking up from his phone.

You go to the bathroom, ignoring the frown that seemed to be on his face.

***

You were finishing putting on your mascara when Jessie walks into the room.

“Ready to go?” He asks you while looking at himself in the mirror, adjusting his shirt.

“I guess so.” You finish and put your makeup away, standing up and twirling around. “How’s the finished look?”

He gives my body a once over, his eyes lingering on the shape of my body. “Good,” is all he says.

“Just good?”

“Y/N, you always look amazing, you know what I meant.” He rolls his eyes.

“Whatever, let’s go.” You say, choosing to ignore his gesture with his eyes. You walk down the stairs and outside, grabbing your jacket on the way. Ethan and Grayson are waiting outside in their car. When they see you approach, Ethan opens the window to greet you guys.

“There they are. Ready for a new year?” He asks as you approach.

“More than you know.” You smile at him and Jessie opens the back door. You climb in and slide over so he can get in too. You shiver and close your jacket more, holding it tight to your body. Grayson smiles at you guys through the rear-view mirror and that’s it. Maybe you had been reading too far into his kindness.

“Whose house are we going to again?” You ask.

“Drew’s. His parents are at their friend’s house in Rhode Island,” Jessie says. You nod, clearly not remembering which one Drew is. “The one who goes to Penn State,” he clarifies.

“Oh, right.” You smile at him.

The car falls quiet for a while, which is unusual for you and Jessie and you can only assume it’s even more odd for Ethan and Grayson, but you guess everyone is tired and needs a moment of silence before entering the hectic last couple of hours of this year.

“We’re almost there,” Ethan says as he turns into a residential area. It feels like he’s trying to calm the weird tension in the car, but you don’t know why it’s so awkward to start.

Before you can question it further, Ethan pulls up behind a bunch of other cars parked on the street and he turns the car off. You hop out on Grayson’s side and shut the door. You both wait for the other boys to walk around the side of the car before you head down the street.

“So, you’re not gonna drink?” You ask Grayson, who you had fallen into step next to.

“I haven’t decided yet. Ethan probably won’t, though, that’s why we offered to drive you and Jess in the first place.” He gives you a smile and you nod back.

“I can’t lie, after my New Year’s Eve record I probably should chill too.” You laugh, shaking your head. “Maybe I won’t drink much tonight, either. It would be cool to remember the beginning of this year.”

Grayson laughs while rubbing his mouth with his hand. “Do you not remember the past few New Year’s?”

“Not fully, no. I’m not even a crazy drinker, but there’s something about New Year’s that makes me want tequila like it’s water. And tequila never ends well.” You shudder, thinking about all the times it’s done you wrong.

“Yeah, maybe it’s more of a champagne year for you.” He nudges you with your shoulder.

“Maybe you’re right.” You nod as you walk into the house.

***

It’s safe to say it was not just a champagne night for you. You were 5 shots in at 11 pm when you decided to cool it. Well, cool it the best you could. You weren’t trashed but you also definitely weren’t sober.

“How’s your champagne?” Grayson walks over to you while you’re sitting on the couch alone, watching everyone else interact.

“Unless champagne has started to taste like tequila, then not very good.” You laugh at your own joke, covering your mouth. He laughs as well, and you can’t tell if it’s with you or at you.

“Do you think you’ll remember tonight?” He raises his eyebrow, sipping from his own cup.

“Oh yeah, I’m about half as drunk as I was last year. I think the issue is that tequila makes me way too brave, one shot or ten” you sigh, looking at him. He looks good tonight. His long hair really suits his sharp facial features. His light facial hair makes him look a bit older than he is, but in a good way. A hot way. And his lips look pink and soft, and you could just lean up and kiss them if you really wanted to. You shake your head as if that will physically remove the thoughts from your brain.

“What?” He giggles, watching your every move.

You’re looking at him with your mouth open now. You can see the flush of his cheeks and the drowsiness of his eyes. You gasp. “Are you drunk?”

He stutters for a moment and you grab the cup from his hand, giving it a sniff.

“Is this a vodka soda?” You give it a sip, feeling the bubbles of the soda go down your throat with the bite of the vodka mixed with it. “Living on the wild side tonight, I see. Is Ethan still good?” You laugh, handing him his cup back.

“Ethan is not in the most sober state, either. And you know Jessie is already messed up. I think we might all just sleep here, if that’s okay.” His eyes scan the room before he slumps back, unable to find his brother or his friend. You lean back right next to him, your shoulders touching.

“Yeah, that’s okay. You’re gonna have to steal clothes from Drew for me to sleep in, though.” You look at his side profile, scanning his face. He really did look good tonight. You see his cheeks heat up a bit more.

“What’re you looking at?” He asks, now turning to face you, too.

“Your cheeks get really red when you’re tipsy.” You giggle, poking his cheek. His nose is almost so close you could touch it with yours.

“It’s not because of the vodka.” He says rather confidently. You raise your brow.

“Oh yeah? What is it then?”

“The pretty girl sitting next to me on the couch.” He turns to face forwards again with a bit of a smirk, sipping from his cup again. You can feel heat rushing to your face and chest. His eyes drift over to you again. “Clearly it happens to you too.” He sounds a bit victorious in his declaration, and you don’t know if it’s your brain or the tequila that tells you what to say next.

“Kiss me.” You blurt out and then quickly cover your mouth. Yeah, it was definitely the tequila who said it.

He sucks in a breath and looks at you again, his eyes dark. “It’s only 11:30, you’re gonna have to wait another half hour for that.” With that, he stands and walks back into his group of friends, leaving you shocked on the couch.

***

Everything past midnight is a blur. Not because of the extra tequila shot you took after your conversation with Grayson, but because of the kiss he gave you after the countdown. It was hot, needy, and purposeful. It didn’t take long after that for everyone to decide where they were sleeping and settle down. Most people were too drunk to even care if they slept in a bed or not. Jessie told you he would get a guest bed for you to share, but you don’t even remember where he said to go because Grayson was looking at you from across the room and everything else disappeared. You nodded at Jessie so that he’d walk away and you could finally go talk to the man whose consumed your mind all night.

“Excited for your sleepover with Jessie?” He asks sarcastically while keeping the charming smile on his face still.

You shrug. “I mean I guess. There’s a different sleepover I’d be more excited for, though.” You do your best to keep your gaze at him innocent while you bite your lip.

“Oh yeah? Which one is that?” He moves to stand next to you as if to survey the room to see who you want to be in bed with tonight.

“Oh my god you’re really gonna make me say it out loud, aren’t you?” You laugh, crossing your arms and turning to look at him again.

“Say what? I’m just an innocent man trying to help a pretty girl out.” He does his best to hide smile but fails. This is the second time he’s called you pretty tonight, and it is definitely the second time it has made you feel butterflies.

“Shut up and show me where you’re sleeping.” You nudge him with your shoulder.

“Unfortunately, I think Ethan and I are being forced to sleep on the living room couch together.” He rubs the back of his head, his confidence faltering for a second.

“Well then that’s what bathrooms are for, right?” You sound hopeful while trying not to be desperate. You don’t want to sound too needy before he’s even taken your pants off.

He smirks at you, putting his hand on the small of your back to start guiding you up the stairs. “You read my mind.” Before you know it, he’s opening the door to a large bathroom and letting you go in first.

You look at your surroundings, taking in the fancy bathroom décor that you thought was unnecessary but still nice. Grayson stood behind you, watching you look around the room. “Are we here to admire the shell soap?” He chuckles.

You turn to him. “What, you don’t think it’s cute?” You giggle, picking up one of the shells to hold between you two.

“I mean sure, but I’ve got my eye on something else in here.” He wraps one hand around your waist, turning you both to face the mirror. You can feel his bulge when you press back against him, looking into his eyes through the mirror.

“Is it the seahorse soap dispenser?” You bite your lip and put the shell pack where you grabbed it from.

“You’re really gonna make me say it out loud?” He mocks you, a humorous glint in his eyes.

You put your arms over his one on your abdomen. “I guess you didn’t make me.” You smile, turning in his grasp. You put both your hands on his shoulders while leaning back on the counter. Grayson puts his hands on your hips, taking a step closer to you. You can feel his warm breath on your face as you are forced to tilt your head up more to keep eye contact with him.

“I can still say it if you really wanna hear it.” He leans closer to you, nipping at your ear. You take in a breath, waiting for him to continue. “I’ve got my eye on the pretty little thing that I plan to fuck on this counter until she forgets what year it is.”

This instantly makes you giggle. “It works in your favor it’s a new year, I already forgot about it.”

“Now that I’ve reminded you, let’s make you forget again.” And that’s when you knew you were fucked in the best way possible. His lips dragged along your jaw to your mouth, kissing you like you were the only girl in the world. You fully wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him flush against you as he kisses you deep and hard. His hands travel down to your ass, pulling your center as close to him as possible. After he gives you a squeeze he brings one of his hands around to start unbuttoning your jeans. You pull your mouth away from his for a moment, leaving both of you breathless.

“You’re okay with this, right? You’re not too messed up right now or anything?” He asks as he rests his forehead on yours. Your hands go down his shoulders to rub his arms. A smile manages to show up on your face.

“Yeah, I’m good. Are you?”

He laughs before looking back you. “More than good.” And with that he’s kissing you again.

Grayson does his best to finish unbuttoning your pants while still keeping your lips connected. Once he is successful, he breaks away from you to go down and take your heels off. He struggles a bit with the straps, making your giggle.

“It’s not as easy as it looks, huh?” You tease him, lifting your foot when he finally gets one off.

“That was fucking stupid,” he groans, already focusing on your other shoe. He manages to slip that one off quicker than the last, his hands now eagerly going into the loops of your jeans to pull them off as well.

Before you know it, he’s standing between your legs again and his lips are moving along your neck, his hands holding your hips in place. You tilt your head back to give him more room to work his lips, gripping his biceps. Grayson takes a second to breathe, his breath heating your skin up as you think about what he’s going to do to you. He takes this moment to remove your shirt over your head.

When he was met with your bare skin, his eyes popped out of his head. “Here’s to starting the new year off right,” he laughs, barely giving you a second to react to what he said before your nipple was in his mouth. You head falls back as you let out a quiet moan, gripping the back of his head. He moves one of his hands to roll your neglected nipple between his fingers, causing you to moan again but louder this time. “Gotta stay quiet, pretty girl,” he mumbles against your chest.

“Sorry, just feels good,” you breathe out, closing your eyes.

“Pull on my hair when it feels good,” he mumbles, slowly moving to his knees in between your legs. This makes you roll your head forward to watch as he takes in the wet spot covering your center. “How long have you been thinking about me?” He smirks at you.

“Are you gonna question it or are you gonna do something about it?” You giggle, securing your hand in the back of his hair, pushing him forward and closer to your core.

“You’re right, I’ll take what I can get,” he huffs out onto your inner thigh, leaving light kisses there. If he was being honest, he hadn’t gotten any in a while either. Grayson was just as eager as you to be with you like this. That’s why he didn’t waste any time swiping his tongue over your slit, still being able to taste you despite the layer of lace between you two. He lets out a guttural moan, loving the fact he was between your legs right now. He wasted no time in tapping your thighs to get you to lift yourself up enough for him to take your panties off. As the cold air hits you, your legs instantly try to shut. Grayson tisks, shaking his head and pushing you wide open, gripping your thighs tightly with his calloused hands.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, his eyes not leaving your pussy.

“We don’t have to do that whole thing if you don’t wanna,” you mumble, your cheeks heating up.

“What whole thing?” Grayson looks up at you, confused.

“You don’t have to compliment me and stuff,” you look away from him, starring at the wall.

“Hey, look at me,” he squeezes your leg, his eyes soft when you meet them again. “Everything I say, I mean. And I’m saying it because I want to, not because I think you wanna hear it,” he smiles up at you. You take a second to breathe, not expecting to hear that from him. No guy you had slept with had ever been so considerate before. Hell, none of them had ever been ready to eat you out.

You let out a flustered, “thanks,” before his focus was back on your core. He licks slowly up from your hole to your clit, making you grip his hair a bit harder already. He focuses on your clit, sucking and licking it like it’s his last meal. It takes everything in you not to moan loudly, but you manage to just breathe harder instead. Grayson moves one of his hands to your slit, his fingers running up and down while he continues to lap at your clit. It’s when he slides one of his fingers in when you let out a whine, gripping his hair so hard he can’t help but let out a groan of his own. He pumps his finger in and out slowly, making you go crazy. “More, faster, anything,” you breathe out, shifting your hips around.

Grayson removes his lips from you while continuing the movement of his finger. He looks up at you. “Feeling greedy, pretty girl?” He smirks as he stands up, removing finger and causing you to pout. It hits you how he is still completely dressed while you’re totally naked.

“Take your clothes off,” you bite your lip, ignoring his comment. Your own hand goes between your legs, rubbing over your clit gently.

Grayson’s eyes bug out while he watches your movement, before he snaps out of it and pulls his shirt off over his head. He quickly throws it down and begins to work at his pants as you start to squirm. All of a sudden, he stops, his pants around his knees. “Do you have a condom?”

“Me? No. You don’t?” You ask, your fingers slowing as reality begins to hit you.

“Are you on the pill?” He asks hopefully.

You look away for a moment, not really sure what to say. Of course you were, but you don’t know this kid. Raw dogging it on the first date isn’t really your style. Hell, this isn’t even a date.

“I’m clean,” he brings you back to reality, reading your thoughts. You lean back, deciding on what’s best to say next.

“I don’t know that for sure. And how do you know I’m clean?” You ask.

“Let’s make a deal. If we end up catching anything from each other, the person who caused it pays for whatever treatment the other needs,” he holds his hand out, ready to shake on it. You look at him like he’s crazy. “I know I’m not giving you anything, and as long as you’re as confident as me, you should be shaking my hand right about now.”

You hesitate before taking his hand in yours and shaking it twice before pulling him back between your legs. You push his underwear down to where his pants are, your jaw dropping when his dick finally comes out. You assumed he would be well endowed, but nothing like this. What if it didn’t fit?

He chuckles deeply, as if he can read your mind again. “Is that a good look of fear?”

“Definitely,” you giggle, looking up at him as you lick your hand before wrapping it around his base, pumping up and down a couple of times.

“Oh fuck,” he whines, gripping your thighs and closing his eyes for a minute. “No, no. Gonna fuck you,” he grips your wrist, taking your hand off him. Both of your hands move behind you as you lean back a bit, waiting for him to take charge again. Grayson wraps his hand around himself so that he can drag his tip up and down your slit. Before you can get used to the feeling he’s pushing in and you’re groaning. Loudly. So Grayson does what his instincts tell him to and he covers your mouth with his hand.

He leans in and whispers in your ear, “is this okay?” You nod as he bottoms out. Your eyes clamp shut as you take a second to adjust. His free hand moves to your thigh, rubbing It gently.

“Ready?” He asks and you nod again. He pulls out almost completely before slamming his hips back into you, making your eyes roll back into your head. He was stretching you out in the most delicious way, and Grayson felt it too. Your walls were hugging him so tightly, your juices dripping down onto the counter. He rests his forehead on yours, hand still clamped over your mouth as he does everything in his power not to moan. You just felt really good, he hasn’t felt this good in a long time.

His hand moves from your thigh to your clit while he continues to move in and out at a quick pace. Sweat begins to drip down his forehead, mixing with the sweat collecting on yours. You can feel his dick nudging that special spot inside you on every thrust and it’s overwhelming. You’re whining into his hand, breathing hard out of your nose. He’s still rubbing your clit at the same pace he’s fucking you and it’s the best combination. Your breathing quickens and he moves his mouth close to your ear. “You gonna cum?” You nod profusely, your toes curling as your heels dig into his ass to make sure he goes as deep as he can.

It feels like a wave of pleasure crashing over you when you finally cum. Your legs are shaking around Grayson’s waist as groans come from deep within your throat. He can feel you clenching around him, your juices continuing to flow out of you around him. He can feel it on his balls as it drips out of you and it makes his eyes roll into the back of his head. Soon he’s pulling out of you, the hand that was once covering your mouth going to his dick as his cum covers your stomach. You both sit there unmoving, just trying to catch your breaths. You rest back on your hands as you giggle a bit, finally looking at him.

“How’re you feeling?” He asks. This makes your cheeks even more red than they already were. No one had been concerned about you after you already finished sex. It was kind of nice.

“Really good,” you sigh out. “You?” You watch as he gets some tissues and he starts wiping his cum off you.

He smiles. “Really good,” he nods along as he finishes cleaning you up. When he goes to throw the tissues out, you laugh because he has to waddle due to his pants still being half on. You’re sliding off the counter when you have to hold the edges to not fall over. He turns to look at you confused. “What?”

“You never even got your pants off.”

He looks down and chuckles, pulling his pants back up, but not buttoning them. “Guess I didn’t.”

You start to pick up your clothes when you pause. You had nothing to sleep in here, and you weren’t about to sleep in the shirt and jeans you came in. Jessie would probably be down to give you his shirt, but he was also probably asleep.

“Here,” he hands his shirt to you. You look up at him for a second before you reach for the shirt.

“Thanks,” you smile at him, putting your clothes back down and slipping the shirt over your head. It barely hit the top of your thighs, but it’s better than walking around totally naked. You slip your panties on under the shirt. Grayson stands there a bit awkwardly, watching you get dressed. You grab your shirt and hand it out to him with a smirk on your face. “Wanna sleep in this?”

Grayson laughs and shakes his head. “Something tells me that would be uncomfortable,” he eyes the sequins, shivering while imagining them against his skin.

You giggle and nod, gathering your jeans and shoes into your hands. “You’re right, it’s not.”

You bite your lip, unsure if you should just say goodbye and dip or what. Grayson interrupts these thoughts when he steps up to you, grabbing your chin and kissing you one more time before he says, “I should probably head to bed.”

You nod in agreement. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

“You were…this was…I enjoyed that,” he laughs. You smile at him as he walks out. You look out the door to make sure no one is there before you start opening every door to find where Jessie is. You slide into the bed as quietly as possible and fall right asleep.

***

Ethan and Grayson had left by the time you got up. One of Jessie’s other friends drove you guys home once you were ready to leave. Life went on as normal after that.

You and Jessie went back to school. Every semester feels like a nice fresh start, even with the sadness knowing it was your last. You and your friends at school were making every minute of it. Which is why you were disappointed when you were feeling under the weather a couple of weeks into it. You woke up every morning feeling fatigued and nauseous. You assumed it was the school work getting to you. Four years and you’d think you’d be better equipped to deal with the stress.

However, when you started throwing up every morning, you panicked. You throw up once in a blue moon. You have a stomach of steel. When that lasted for an entire week, you decided to go to the clinic. They ask all the usual questions, including if you think you’re pregnant. You tell them there’s a minimal chance but they decide to test you anyway just to be sure.

When the doctor walks back in, they have a smile on their face. “Your pregnancy test came back positive.”

Suddenly you felt nauseous again, but not like all the previous mornings. How could you be pregnant? He pulled out, you’re on birth control. And that’s when you remember. You didn’t take it a for a couple days after New Year’s Eve because you had run out of your current pack and your next pack was at school. You hadn’t noticed your missed period because your birth control had made it almost non-existent to start.

The doctor continues to speak but you only hear the blood rushing through your ears as pure panic sets in. You don’t even have Grayson’s number. He’s a fucking LA YouTuber, he wasn’t even on the same coast as you. You weren’t even friends.

As soon as you get out of the doctor, you call Jessie.

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?”

You’re blinking back the tears as you walk to your car. “I need to tell you something.”

***

Read part 2 here!

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rainbow-spiral · 4 years

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Nothing

“No,” Charlie said, “not getting anything this time.” He gave Yoko a slight smirk. “Do you think you’re losing your touch?”

Yoko was not the sort of person that Charlie would have pictured as a Mistress, before he met her. He had fantasized about leggy redheads in slinky black outfits. Yoko was tiny—small enough that all their friends commented on the difference in their sizes, with Yoko short enough to tuck under Charlie’s arm. Yoko was a slightly plump woman with a pixie cut, cute and cuddly and absolutely the opposite of imposing. Yoko was, right now, wearing a Hello Kitty T-Shirt and pink underwear, and most of her wardrobe was equally cutesy. Yoko was the sort of person whom everyone liked, but nobody would dream of being intimidated by.

Charlie had specific wants, when it came to girlfriends, and hadn’t even considered Yoko until she showed him how easily she could overpower him. It turned out that Charlie was a good subject. It turned out that Yoko was devious, devilish, and delighted to exploit how good a subject Charlie was.

But the necklace—the crystal necklace that usually sank him instantly into trance—was doing nothing for him tonight. It glittered, it spun, and his eyes remained stubbornly open.

“You need to relax,” Yoko said soothingly. “What if you lay down? Would that help?”

“It might, I guess.” Charlie moved to the bed and lay down with a sigh.

“And, just to check in—there’s nothing out of the ordinary right now?”

“Nothing,” Charlie said. “Not even a flicker of trance.”

“Not exactly what I meant.” Yoko followed him to the bed and climbed up on top of him, straddling him. “Nothing unusual about you, about where you are or what you’re doing or what’s going on right now?”

“Nothing,” Charlie said.

“Mm . . . are you hard right now?”

“You can tell,” Charlie pointed out. “You’re right on top of it.”

“Answer the question, pet.”

“Sorry, Mistress. No, I’m completely soft.”

“Mm. Well, we’ll see if we can change that.” Her voice was more husky, and she rocked gently on top of him. “Now, look at the crystal heart, pet. Take in every detail of it. Every facet. Can you see how the light catches it? Can you see how the colors change as it spins on the end of its chain? You’re so good at concentrating on the crystal heart, and you know that when you do concentrate on the crystal heart, every other thought seems to fall away . . .”

Her rhythm seemed off tonight, Charlie thought. The words were coming out in bunches, spaced around her motions—she was rocking harder. Rocking harder, which normally would have made him harder, but—nothing. “Nothing,” Charlie repeated.

“Nothing?”

“Absolutely nothing. Maybe it has to be above my eye level?” She’d done it that way when they started, but these days, it usually just took a flash of the crystal heart to put him under. Sometimes, Yoko wore it under her shirt, and took it out and just showed him, and he was gone. Tonight was—weird.

Back when he first met her, Charlie had felt a little bit silly, going under to something as frankly girly as a heart-shaped Swarovski crystal. Now, the cutesy-ness of it was part of the appeal—part of Yoko’s personality, and thus something he adored beyond measure. She could probably have melted his brain with a My Little Pony pendant.

Maybe that was the next thing to try. “Maybe a different pendant?”

“I can’t reach my jewelry box from here,” Yoko pointed out. “No, this should work. You’re sure you’re not feeling anything?”

“Nothing.”

“Tried looking down?”

Charlie frowned. Looking down? What did she mean by that?

He looked down along the length of his body.

Yoko didn’t have her pink underwear on anymore.

Yoko, in fact, was riding his cock, his rock-hard, slick cock, up and down and up and down.

“But—I’m soft,” Charlie whispered.

And that was remarkable, because the idea of being taken out and used like a dildo—taken out, and used, and not even knowing about it—that was the sort of thought that would normally lead to Charlie thinking frantically of penguins and polar bears and, if that didn’t work, politicians. He had a raging hard-on, and it might as well have been carved out of wood, for all he could feel it—

“People who say they’re going to take out the trash,” Yoko pointed out reasonably, “ought to take out the trash.”

This was, Charlie reflected, quite true. He had, hadn’t he . . .

Fuck. He hadn’t.

“If you apologize very prettily, you might be able to convince me to give you back the sensation of what I’m doing to you right now. All in a burst or spread out over an hour—I’ll decide which is more fun later. You probably won’t be able to convince me to let you come from it. But I’m willing to let you try. In a little bit. Right now, I’m just going to ride my wooden, insensate toy until I’m good and satisfied. And after that crack about losing my touch, I’m going to turn your brain to wood too. Drop.”

And Charlie was nothing.

My buymeacoffee link!

A reminder: if you go to my Pencils in the Margin page and donate any amount of money to Black Lives Matter or similar charities (there’s a long list) I will either write you a new story or read out a fic that I’ve already written. If you donate a larger amount of money, I will write you a new fic and post an audio file. Here is an example of my voice.

#hypnosis #fiction #my fiction #female dom #male sub

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firelord-frowny · 4 years

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@itsmerandi, for some reason tumblr isn’t letting me actually comment on your post lmao (i think its xkit’s fault, really) so imma just answer you here!!

So, as the Resident Goth, I can say that I’ve also never been too ~aware~ of like... which aspects of the fashion are derived from kink cultre lmfaoooo.

But I THINK as far as chokers go, and avoiding ~inappropriate~ stuff, lil lace ones are probably an okay gift for a lil teen? My understanding is that the whole bdsm thing associated with chokers mostly has to do with like... dog collars?? So anything that doesn’t have, like, a lil ~ring~ on it where anything could be connected to it is probably okay?? And also avoid like, spikes and studs and chains and other stuff that are obviously associated with collars omg.

But if you wanna play it safe and avoid that altogether, i have a few other ideas she might like!

An alt kid can never have too much black nail polish, tbh, and there’s a loooot of super beautiful nail polishes out there that are dark and gothy but with a Special lil flair. Starrily has a lot. And magnetic top coats can turn any shade of nail polish into something magical, ESPECIALLY black polish.

Fingerless gloves are also popular, with the bonus of being Actually Functional lmao. And they can range from being simple and plain, to elegant and lacy, you can get them in fun colors, they can be fandom related, blah blah.

And depending on her personality and whatnot, there’s lots of different ~gothy~ imagery she might like?? Roses and other flowers (especially if it’s dead or wilted lmfao), spooky animals like bats or owls or wolves or cats or snakes. Celestial stuff like moons and stars and planets. Sinister shit like graveyard-related stuff. And like. If she happens to be a christian, there’s honestly a LOT of really dark, christianity related shit that gothy folks are into lmao. Like. I don’t think I’ve ever met a christian goth who didn’t sport a dramatic cross necklace draped around their neck.

Band T shirts are always fun, also! Fan merch in general can be a good option for folks that are just really Into whatever media they like.

Or if she’s more into the ~elegant~ side of stuff, she might like blouses or jackets or whatever that are sorta victorian-themed, laces and ruffles and whatnot. Stuff in this sorta category.

If she’s artsy, there are a lot of journals and sketchpads that cater to a dark aesthetic.

And messenger bags!! There’s a messenger bag for everyone lmao.

And now that I’m really thinking about it, I know I’ve mentioned that my brother is a really great gift giver and he nails it with my birthday/christmas gifts every year, and I think it’s because he knows what’s weird about me, and then leans into that? Hence, my mug that’s shaped like an alien head, my tea cup with a statue of a tiny raven inside it, my pillow with a bigass spider embroidered on it... So like. If you know what’s weird about her, maybe see if you can find anything that aligns with her weirdness?

Lmao I know your question was about chokers lmfao but since I didn’t feel like I had a particularly helpful answer that was choker-specific, I figured I’d just throw a bunch of other stuff at you, also, and hope any of it was useful lololol.

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cynthiaandsamus · 3 years

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Custom Toonami Block Week 72 Rundown

Code Geass: Lelouch continues his plan to kidnap a little Chinese girl and Todoh gets to show off his new Zangetsu so the Black Knights enjoy having two Knightmares worth a damn for once, though as if on cue Kallen gets caught in the most bullshit way possible bringing them back down to one Ace. Xingke has home field advantage and a new Knightmare with spinny dealies and turns Zero’s bullshit tactics of fighting in the one place that basically wipes out the enemy for him against him. However the gods of the Code Geass world themselves said “You know Xingke’s way too OP, better Kimimaro him and make it so he’s terminally ill so he can’t do too much” so now the Black Knights are literally backed into a cave and instead of letting Xingke just finish the job the Chinese government swoops in with Britannian reinforcements to try and claim victory and seize power all at once. Also Lelouch is somehow back at school despite being in China and I don’t remember this part at all but I guess it answers my question from last time. I think it has something to do with Sayoko and realistic Lupin III style mask or something.

Inuyasha: The Panther Demon filler continues as Inuyasha’s Group, Koga and his two goons and Sesshomaru/Jaken make their way into Panther Demon territory after Inuyasha breaks their barrier. Koga meets up with Royokhan and gets the low down on the Panther Demon backstory with Taiga killing their leader hundreds of years ago and then Sesshomaru beating them 50 years ago but losing a lot of men in the process. It’s kind of a neat turn seeing Jaken go try to get Inuyasha and Sesshomaru’s like “fine I guess we’ll let him help” and then getting mad when he finds out he can’t even come because he’s nailed to a tree. Like it’s a weird bit of complexity for Sesshomaru to feel betrayed by not getting help he never really wanted and now being determined to fight off the Panthers alone. Anyway all the groups square off against the Panther mini-bosses, Lightning Panther beats Miroku and Sango and gets them captured with Kagome, Wind Panther fights Koga to a draw, Ice Panther continues her beef with Sesshomaru and Fire Panther keeps teasing Inuyasha. It’s kinda nice that they give every group someone to fight and something to do but I kinda wish these fights lasted longer and Fire/Ice panther were scaled up a bit to match Inuyasha and Sesshomaru’s power because they’re firing huge sword beams at this point and it just doesn’t seem like they’d have this much trouble with them. Also Jaken and Inuyasha meet and both of them are like ‘hey you seen my group?’ which I just thought was funny.

Yu Yu Hakusho: A new arc begins and honestly this is the Yu Yu Hakusho arc I remember the least because I think I missed an episode or two in the middle of it since YYH came on right around when I got home from school back in the day. But yeah, Kuwabara suddenly decides he doesn’t wanna do demon shit anymore and Yusuke’s like “fine it wasn’t your job anyway you made me let you come last time” and then Kuwabara immediately backpedals on it because there’s a hot girl he wants to save. Also they still need to give Keiko a lame backstory about Yusuke interning with a detective that doesn’t explain all the zombies after her but Kuwabara’s sister being like “Damn who’s the spirit baby, here’s $50 for the bus” is fine apparently. Anyway we get the Toguro brothers’ introduction and it’s neat to see them effortlessly make Yukina cry to make jewels and then have Younger Toguro give her some advice about making herself cry on cue so she doesn’t have to suffer every time which is some weird tough love take it or leave it advice that says a lot about his character right away. Also Yusuke and Kuwabara fight a giant plant demon who’s all like “Yeah I’m a demon but I got bills to pay bitch” and like what bills does a demon have and why can’t they just steal from the rich human but it doesn’t matter because Yusuke and Kuwabara just blow him away.

Fate Zero: So the church is like ‘yo free Command Seal to whoever fucks up Caster’ which is strange because yeah Caster’s killing children and shit but UBW Caster killed a bunch of peeps too and no one blinked an eye and Kiritsugu blew up a fucking building and no one cares so I have no idea where the line is here. Also Iskandar gets a shirt from amazon and it’s hilarious but he forgot to order pants and Waver tells him he’s not allowed to wear pants until he murders a historical figure and Iskander’s like “you know what that’s fair” so he’s just gonna be freeballing it for a while I guess. Strategy meeting with Kiritsugu, Iris and Saber happens and Saber seems more than a little pissy that Kiritsugu doesn’t address her directly and is basically treating her like a Pokemon. They talk about the four spots the grail can appear at and since we’ve already seen UBW we know it’s gonna be in the huge residential place so it can murder everyone and also Shirou. Also Caster shows up for Tentacle Hentai time with Saber along with more child murder but Lancer’s like “Hey I am the Vegeta of this story and no one kills Saberot but me” while Kiritsugu does his Homura Akemi thing to fight off Kayneth’s T-1000 Black Clover Nozel Silva Mercury Magic which is just amazingly amusing to me that Kiritsugu’s fighting style is to just shoot all these demi-god mages in the face and end his battles in the most anticlimactic way possible.

Konosuba: So Kazuma’s dead again. Shoulda really occurred to him sooner that dying again would get him reincarned again but nah, Samurai Santa has to come off him so he can meet Eris but he actually seems to miss his friends a bit. Like he doesn’t ask to go back specifically we’re not being that cheesy here but considering Kazuma’s two purposes in this story are to complain and explain the joke it is nice that he has some lingering feelings for his party. Then Aqua’s all “Hey fucker get back here, you’re not getting rid of me that easily” and despite Eris saying they can’t just revive him because he doesn’t belong there Aqua just does it anyway, really gives the vibe of an older coworker being like “you’re not supposed to do it this way but this is the way I do it” kind of deal. But yeah Kazuma has a crush on Eris now and despite these guys saying how much they hate being in a group together they sure seem to turn down every out they have to get away from each other, idk I get the joke and jadedness but a little more sincerity would be nice.

Sailor Moon Crystal: Usagi wakes up at Mamoru’s place and he gives her his backstory about how he became Amnesiac Batman in Evening Wear. Luna knows Sailor V but for some reason is really cagey about divulging that to the rest of the group even though literally everyone has been assembled now. There’s a dated plot about Blockbuster taking over people’s minds that Usagi literally handwaves away when Zoisite comes out and punches her and defeats the whole team with one dark energy wave. Tuxedo Mask comes in and punches him in the face and then remembers he doesn’t have any powers and gets owned. The two have a sweet but ultimately cringy reunion before Sailor V saves their worthless asses.

Durarara!!: With Mikado’s status as Founder of the Dollars revealed, Seiji goes on a stabbing rampage again and luckily keeps stabbing the only people that don’t actually get hurt by it, this time being Celty. Celty’s about to go grim reaper on Seiji’s worthless ass before Mika Harima runs in and tells everyone she isn’t really Celty’s head, weirdly enough Mikado recognizes this right before she says anything somehow, like makes sense Celty realizes it’s not her head but Mikado has no frame of reference aside from knowing she was wearing Mika’s clothes which in her cover story would be explained by Celty’s head leeching off Mika’s dead body. But yeah despite Seiji spending 18 hours a day staring at Mika he apparently couldn’t tell either which really throws a wrench in his “power of love justifies indiscriminate murder” philosophy which amuses both Izaya and me. Mikado breaks down the craziness that’s just transpired what with the stalking, murder, incest, identity theft, actual theft, and stabbing and tries to put a positive spin on it in that Seiji and Mika are both fucking crazy and deserve each other but it’s a hard sell my dude. Izaya tells Mikado that he’s going to be an excitement junkie like him soon if he keeps ramping up life in this crazy city and Celty just kinda forgives Shinra for knowing where her head is without telling her and also plastic surgerizing a yandere girl to look like her and give her her name which seems a little weird for them to just punch each other and call it a wash when Shinra was arguably as yandere as Mika here and they still get unofficially married. Seiji tells Mika he doesn’t love her but because of all the shit she went through to literally mold herself into the object of his obsession he guess she can hang around until he gets the headless sex toy of his dreams so… happy ending I guess. Everyone in this town is fucking crazy and they forgive each other way too easily but for a show that swings back and forth between how fucked up people are and saying humanity is fundamentally pretty decent I guess that’s kind of the point.

#ooc #Toonami #Custom Toonami Block #Code Geass #Inuyasha #Yu Yu Hakusho #Fate Zero #Konosuba #Sailor Moon Crystal #Durarara!!

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haillenarte · 5 years

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uniqlo x ffxiv collab;

Here are translations of the Uniqlo x FFXIV advertisements that hit Japanese stores in December 2019.

Wait... What? An announcement was posted on Lodestone today that tapestries (basically just banners) of FFXIV characters would be displayed in select Uniqlo stores in Shinjuku and Ikebukuro.

I’ve heard of Uniqlo, but I don’t know what it is... Uniqlo is a Japanese fashion brand that’s pretty much known for selling basics — think single-color shirts, sweaters, pants, coats, and scarves. While I won’t speak for everyone, and I’m sure some people have wildly different opinions, my personal experience is that in Tokyo, Uniqlo is thought of as a very basic, bargain-bin place to buy clothes: yeah, it’s normal to shop there, and pretty much everyone has some item from Uniqlo in their closet somewhere, but it’s not really considered fashionable, and it’s honestly a bit uncool to wear Uniqlo from head to toe. In New York, however, Uniqlo is generally thought of as basic but trendy — people tend to like the quality of the clothing even though individual items can be pricey. In the end, a brand is a brand. If they operate in your country, you may as well head to their website to get your own idea of it.

So this is basically just an advertising campaign? Yes, and a very limited one. If I understand correctly, the ads are only running in three Uniqlo stores in all of Tokyo. They’re pretty big stores in trendy neighborhoods, but not the flagship store or anything. (Their flagship store is in Ginza, which is very nice, but rather mature and austere.) Also, they are specifically advertising Uniqlo’s “HEATTECH” clothing line, which, I don’t know, uses science to keep you warm or something. I have never tried HEATTECH clothes, though I have other pieces of clothing from Uniqlo, but I am told that they are pretty warm.

How weird is this for Uniqlo? Honestly, not that weird — Uniqlo does a lot of collaborations with popular series, mostly thanks to their T-shirt line that’s collaborated with such characters and series as Mario, Gundam, Pokémon, Hello Kitty, and all manner of mangas. I don’t know whether or not they’ve run fake testimonials from characters before, but the testimonial-based ads themselves are just a thing that Uniqlo does. I’m pretty sure they’ve done comparable campaigns in Singapore and Taiwan, albeit with real people giving their opinions and not Final Fantasy characters. Their “Voices of New York” series was somewhat similar as well — they got a bunch of famous New Yorkers to wear Uniqlo and do little interviews, basically.

How weird is this for Square Enix? Honestly, not that weird — I mean, will anything ever be as weird as when they decided to have Lightning and other characters from FFXIII model for Prada and Louis Vuitton? FFXV had fashion collaborations with Vivienne Westwood and Roen built into the game, too, although that was a little more... serious. I’m actually just disappointed that they didn’t whip up a Uniqlo HEATTECH shirt for the characters to actually wear.

How weird is this, like... generally? Oh, it’s very silly, but character collaborations are all kind of a big joke anyway. And, to be honest, they do get nerds to get into their stores and buy shit.

Photos were taken randomly off Twitter. Thank you to everyone who visited Uniqlo just to share the banners with social media.

As for the text itself, I... I don’t want to talk about it...

HEATTECH x FINAL FANTASY XIV ONLINE The reason I wear Heattech every day...

ESTINIEN Former Azure Dragoon Heattech lover for 5 years.

Under my armor, I’m always wearing Heattech. Has it already been 5 years, now? 'Twas Ser Aymeric who originally recommended to me these garments. At first, I was half in doubt as to the veracity of his claims, but once I equipped mine own apparel, I was stunned by how well it performed. It doesn't matter how high I jump through the frigid air of Coerthas — I never get cold. Now I can't even imagine fighting in the skies without Heattech.

ALPHINAUD LEVEILLEUR Academician of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn Heattech lover for 1 year.

In Heattech, I'm warm from the tips of my fingers down to my toes. During my journey through Ishgard, a companion of mine recommended that I wear these curious garments to stay warm, and I have not been parted from them since. Even as I gathered bits of brush and kindling in the Churning Mists for our campfire, I felt not the slightest chill.

ALISAIE LEVEILLEUR Red Mage of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn Heattech lover for 1 year.

When something red catches my eye, I just have to have it. And each time a new Heattech product comes out, I'll add it to my wardrobe without hesitation. These garments don't get in the way during frenzied combat, and they provide the ease of movement that I need in the heat of battle. They come in so many tempting colors that I do find it difficult to choose between them every now and then — but in the end, I always pick red!

Y’SHTOLA RHUL Sorceress of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn Heattech lover for 6 years.

Every sorceress worth her salt keeps a few secrets... and Heattech is one of mine. Naturally, these vestments will keep you warm, and I particularly appreciate that they feel smooth to the touch. ‘Twould be an exaggeration to say that I could forget that I am wearing them, but... I do find myself advantaged by the way that they do not obstruct the flow of magic. As Master Matoya has chosen to reside in a rather dark, chilly cave, I thought it prudent to send her a selection of Heattech raiments. I wonder how well she found them.

CID NAN GARLOND President of Garlond Ironworks Heattech lover for 9 years.

Heattech is our company's hidden uniform. Garlond Ironworks engineers often work in cold environments, so Heattech garments have become indispensable to our performance. Anyone who's ever flown an airship knows this well: when you're at the helm, you're at the mercy of the winds, and those winds are cold. That's why every engineer in our organization is provided with a Heattech undershirt. And you? Will you join our number?

NERO TOL SCAEVA Freelance Genius Engineer Heattech lover for 9 years.

This is something I might engineer — which is how you know it’s good. Garlond’s Heattech undershirt is naught but a simple garment, whereas mine is fitted with a magitek weave that promotes superior heat retention!

KRILE BALDESION Archon of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn Heattech lover for 3 years.

Do you suppose we might call this... the power to transcend the cold? Thanks to the raging aether surrounding the isle, Eureka Anemos undergoes volatile changes in temperature, making Heattech an absolute necessity for exploring the more frosty areas of the Forbidden Land. Even that obstinate Ejika hides an undershirt beneath his robes, you know! I myself am rather partial to sporting a good pair of Heattech short pants whilst on expedition. I don't believe even the brightest minds at the Studium could have conceived of such practical use for this technology.

Please note that Sharlayan lore isn’t my strong suit, and I never set foot in Eureka, so it is possible that there are better ways to interpret some of Krile’s remarks here.

also here’s my version thank u good night

#ffxiv #ff14 #estinien #alphinaud #alisaie #y'shtola #cid #nero #krile

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glare0322 · 4 years

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h.i.v.e. head canons

just some character and relationship/friendship head canons :)

laura

- plays the piano and quite well. she doesn’t want to play much at h.i.v.e. because it reminds her of scotland and her family. after book eight, she plays a lot more frequently cause she really sees h.i.v.e. and the people there as her home.

- is not organized in anything but school and files on her computer. her brain runs a million miles an hour which leads to things getting messy fast.

- becomes a lot closer with raven after the greenhouse since they now have a bit of shared trauma especially in the fact anastasia favored to torture both of them.

- still sucks at driving even after h.i.v.e.

- after h.i.v.e. laura goes and lives with her family for a month back in scotland. they talk about h.i.v.e., shelby and her other friends, whats been happening here, and other general catching up topics. mary (mrs. brand) takes a special interest in meeting otto and laura reminds her mom every day not to make a big deal about it. yet she still counts down the days until she gets to meet her daughter’s boyfriend.

otto

- gets very frustrated when he can’t grasp certain concepts or master specific skills. he is known as the boy genius after all.

- went through an edgy phase while at h.i.v.e. not emo, but he would throw in more hurtful quips towards shelby during their usually playful spits and his jokes were just a little too dark. otto got a lot more detentions during this time and even the thought of trying to escape again reoccurred in his mind. he eventually noticed how wing was not a fan of it and slammed the breaks. of course everyone still makes fun of him for it.

- if you don’t think otto wouldn’t cry at the sight of his newborn child/ren then um...you’re wrong

- he looks back on his little prime minister scheme with pride and cringes terribly at it. on one hand, it was his beginnings and the device he made not only worked but was something like no other. and then he remembers how he made the prime minister moon everyone. when he was younger it was hilarious, now that he’s a tad older otto hates the fact he did that. there is just something immature and lacking taste about the whole thing.

- lives in sweaters/jumpers. i know this one is random, but something about them just suits otto.

wing

- has a gentle singing voice. he only sings lullabies to his kids and if one of his friends needs it. besides that wing does not sing often. it’s always a treat when he does.

- wing is really scared to be a dad. the thought of being like his father is incredibly scary to him.

- i really can not see wing becoming a villain but an antihero, now that i can definitely see. his methods are immoral in the sense he is still technically a murder, but he only goes after truly evil corporations. like human trafficking kind of evil.

- he teaches his kid/s self-defense and martial arts.

- trilingual and speaks english, japanese, and mandarin. the first two are canon to the story but i feel like his parents probably would have taught him at least some mandarin.

shelby

- shelby hated how laura would stay up for hours in the night tapping away on her computer. however when she moved out, it seemed weird not to fall asleep to the sound of a typing keyboard.

- if there is a h.i.v.e. gymnastics team/program (since there is a water polo team) shelby would totally do it. she waves to her friends before her round and even sometimes blows a kiss to her supportive boyfriend who is always there to see her.

- after h.i.v.e. she pursues gymnastics professionally. it provides the same wealth she was used to back with her parents, she likes to do it, but most importantly it’s an amazing cover up for why she’s traveling so many places around the world. (to steal of course) it also funds these trips and gives her, and wing for that matter, a great public image. plus she likes the spotlight a bit.

- i’ve said this before but shelby eventually gets lessons from raven. i just love this idea with my whole heart especially because how different these two are.

- had a bit of affluenza before h.i.v.e. which played into her desire for stealing diamonds along with her crappy parents. (my theory on shelb’s parents is right here)

laura and otto

- otto adores laura’s piano playing. there is something peaceful about it to him which he finds really comforting.

- they go to university together in scotland and help each other get through it. the two live in an apartment together go to school then see each other after classes at home.

- laura has some zero ptsd and it occasionally effects her relationship with otto in the sense she gets flashbacks and is genuinely scared. otto completely understands this though and is super patient with her. obviously it bothers him since he’s not zero, but he understands why she’s experiencing this and loves her enough to put his annoyance aside for her.

- these two wanted their kids’ names to be after someone. so if they would ever have a daughter her name would be lucy and the middle name of their son would be wing. laura wanted to include shelby but it just didn’t fit anywhere.

- if otto can’t find a shirt, then laura is wearing it. she wears his clothes super frequently and he won’t complain. she looks cute :,)

laura and shelby

- shelby likes things to look pretty, so she ends up being the one that keeps their room tidy, makes the beds, and other cleanly stuff like that. especially when they live together outside of h.i.v.e. she does the dishes pretty often, keeps their room looking nice, and stocks their fridge. laura is messy, but it doesn’t effect her much cause shelbs takes care of it. she doesn’t mind and only teases laura when people are over to embarrass her (all in good fun).

- laura doesn’t like girly things (we been knew). shelby tried for a while to get her into these things and a few stick on: nail polish, very light make up, and shopping. but never and i mean never would shelby make laura do something she didn’t want to. of course laura introduces shelby to her more geeky/nerdy stuff. they watch superhero shows together, shelbs has a black widow t-shirt in her closet now, and even some basic hacking codes.

- laura didn’t like shelby at first not only because of her nasty personality, but because she was a lot like the girls who would talk about laura behind her back.

- basically canon, but shelby was the number one ottra shipper. she had been rooting for them since day one of h.i.v.e. laura comes to her for advice with otto and shelby consoles her when lucy and otto get together. they both were disappointed the two didn’t get together.

- laura is really good at baking and shelby asks her once to help her bake something for wing. (she was really trying y’all) long story short, even laura couldn’t help shelby’s terrible baking skills and they set off the fire alarms in their apartment along with the sprinklers.

wing and otto

- otto wanted to do one of wing’s workouts despite his best friends many warnings it would be rough. it was safe to say otto underestimated the intensity of the workout.

- oh god the scene where these two will eventually leave each other to go move on past h.i.v.e. is just absolutely gut wrenching. they both acknowledge how the other had such an influence on their lives and hope to see them prosper in life. honestly this is like a rare moment where i can see wing legitimately crying.

- so we all know how wing has half the overlord protocol necklace (he has yang) if shelby doesn’t get the yin half then otto should because he kinda fits the yin meaning and is best bros with wing.

- for wing’s “bachelor party” they honestly just get all the guys from h.i.v.e. together and hang out for a couple hours. after, however, he and otto go out and go have some fun doing morally gray criminal activity.

- they still sometimes speak in japanese to each other on missions and stuff or if they need to plan something without anyone else knowing.

shelby and wing

- they move permanently to america, but visit china and japan quite frequently.

- one of the first things shelby does after she and wing get out of h.i.v.e. is watch a bunch of disney movies and american movie classics so he can understand the pop culture references she has been making for the past five years.

- i totally think shelby gets the other half over otto, or at least a replica. there’s kinda set up for this as well, the other half (yin) is known as the feminine half.

- if they would ever have a daughter her name would be mei or raven.

- she always knows exactly what to get him as a gift or even just in general. she’s observant and can pick up on what he needs before he does. wing has mentioned before shelby is a little...less predictable but he tries his hardest and oh my goodness does shelby appreciate his efforts. of course it irritates her, but she knows her slightly emotionally-unavailable boyfriend is trying an insane amount to sort through her emotions right.

shelby and otto

- they totally bond over how wing is great, but have an urge to smother him in his sleep because of the obnoxiously loud snoring

- menaces to the public when these two are together. i couldn’t even begin to tell you all the crafty things that would conspire between these two. pranking teachers, seeing who can steal the answers first, racing in stealth or in fitness classes. (wing beats both of them in combat/fitness so their efforts are often pointless)

- when they first came to h.i.v.e. shelby was taller than otto, by quite a margin too. she teased him into another galaxy about it. so when the day came that otto was officially taller than her, she mourned the countless jokes that could no longer be made.

- asks a lot of those “wait who logically thought to make butter?” questions. they also argue whether these people were geniuses or a new level of stupid. (seriously who thought to mix together milk until it gets to a solid consistency and then eat it?)

- they have to live together for one month after h.i.v.e. in the beginning, they like wanted to choke each other, but by the end of the month they were upset to not live with each other any more. (fic is dropping soon 🙈)

wing and laura

- after the greenhouse incident, laura went to wing asking him to teach her some martial arts since she felt really weak physically while in there. he doesn’t initially think it’s the best idea, but laura convinces him it will be okay.

- they’re a lot better friends then people would initially think. she hugged him like twice in the first book alone and is grateful for him saving her life. laura and wing seem like the two that just relax with each other. no shenanigans, no combat, honestly just vibing. they drink tea and watch murder mystery shows while catching up on the latest things and theorizing about the show.

- the entire gang goes to tokyo all together at one point in their life. laura and wing go to all the historical places in the city and chat about them for hours.

- they go on hikes together. that’s it. i’m right and you know it.

- i always imagined at least once wing decided to try and take the high road instead of cheating by asking laura to tutor him. it worked pretty well for him and now whenever he needs help with work, he just goes to laura and they work through it together.

#h.i.v.e.#hive #laura brand #otto malpense #wing fanchu #shelby trinity #laura x otto #ottra #otto x laura #wing x shelby #shelby x wing #winglby #hive headcanons #wow this is a long post #sorry i just really adore these guys #stay tuned for the other alpha kids #and maybe nero and raven?

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incarnateirony · 5 years

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Time for a rant

And some hard fucking truths about this fandom. And shipping culture. And related LGBT issues.

Edit for reblog: Since everybody’s trying to be highkey mad about everything right now, if the cut didn’t warn you, or the title, that this is going to be an unpopular AF opinion you should read all of before jumping to any conclusions, let this edit notice be that. But this post includes a bunch of shit. History I more recently and more fully talked about. The LGBT men I know that won’t touch this fandom with a ten foot pole because of shipping dialogue. And the accidental two season canon Destiel RP troll that we finally snapped and voiced beyond the meta wall from PURE EXHAUSTION.

(related posts in reference: (x) (x) (x) )

we know season great we know season 9 and its potential we know season 10 -- and most of us know its cut scenes humanity, being human, colette, the altar of winchester, the secret admirer, the boyfriends that strapped into the abaddon/colette parallels, all of it we know carver himself wrote the s10 finale and got it to film and then it got cut we know s9 he gave misha a note to play as jilted lovers from the showrunner but then we ask why did this never make it well nobody in fandom was paying attention nobody paid attention to SPN struggling the first seasons nobody paid attention to gamble's era almost getting nuked they all swore up and down this outdated americana show was about to have a queer pairing go canon because, yes, at that point *reads crumbled note* wallpaper

In fact that last one, to this date, no much how much legitimate structural meta or even deadass text current meta fandom breaks down, whether they just study the microcosm of Destiel or the macrocosm of the text with Destiel as a piece of it, can not escape the claims of *reads note again* wallpaper and T-shirts.

one year into Carver who was pulling the show out of the cancellation trashcan and vying for it to continue now that it was on netflix a DUMBASS EXEC wandered into twitter and opted to talk to fans

the goddamn network CEOship had just rotated even

”Well I blame” [disembodied force outside of our own]

no honestly I blame (parts of) pre S9 meta fandom, and I say that as a meta author they had been convincing people of intent for years When these showrunners and even rotating network execs were thrashing for life Like literally even the heads of the CW were changing not even just SPN but some fucking how the “sages” of that era didn’t have any gat damn insight onto how that might influence future engagements So out of the blue a newish network crew gets BLINDSIDED by accusations of queerbait and giant danger articles that are huge PR bombs and it turns into protect the product mode which turned into the new S10 press releases with the spontaneous sexuality field on the characters and half the filmed content ending up on the floor the short end of it is fandom fucked up hard Carver was fighting for them But in result he got a corporate shut down on a product he had ironically exploded globally too well that was earning too much profit too quickly to catch that kind of bad PR Chad Kennedy was a fateful fucking day Ever since then showrunners have had to pitch the idea at corporate when it was a nonissue before And prove why it's a valid move with test groups and marketing You can say "prove it" I really don't have to in this rant, I really do not give a SHIT if you believe me, I don’t CARE if you want to reject what is otherwise logic because I’m not about to throw anybody under a bus I really like not getting people in trouble, but this alone is a glint in the fucking RADAR of how I'm going off.

hell ask yourself why we went from Robbie calling Destiel canon to being eviscerated by queerbait claims because it didn’t fulfill what a specific audience wanted or expected, to deleting his post, to only annual actors free of their contracts daring to talk about Destiel, to corporate shutdowns where it’s crickets until Emily’s return where she’s started YOLO posting about it -- but why, why, why did we go from actual support and discussion to silence that you still rage about

Without the season nine kennedy explosion I'm pretty sure we would have had inarguable destiel canon in season 10 like late s10 Carver passed his torch to Dabb mid S11 where they kept stringing it out and ramping it up within restrictions which is why Dabb runs a very weird fucking line Dabb knows he has no promise of getting it as far as his forebearer wanted or even had written AND FILMED but he will hedge out as many lines, esp with the hand of Berens that Carver originally passed the directorial note with, as he can Wayward was a huge factor in that and tbh my hope died when Wayward died that was a HUGE weight in the network Berens was pulling

I'm at a point where i've conceded to our jane austen novel but want to see how far they take that to completion, though in reality that completion was 13.5/6 that's when I went from like, I passively enjoy and accept this content to screaming into the dumpster it's not the landmark people wanted but story structure wise within how SPN handles it's the sufficient one Recalling Dean's implicative hookups since like season six I mentioned on one hand The fact that they went full circle and bookended it in direct script mirror to Lisa after the S13 lead in would be amply sufficient to het drama and I refuse to enable hets running around the goalpost on queer people I would love better open blunt representation but I also recognize the genre of the show It's something Dean and I struggle with our server actually DeanCas have been canon for a season and a half here but maintaining that without taking a distracting romantic genre tilt or whatever is its own form of challenge We write established relationship openly, without bars, to the point we DMed each other for months like WHEN WILL THEY CATCH ON WTF but the problem, ironically, is that it's so parallel to the show nobody caught on

which really, though it didn't start as a conscious experiment, and was natural tells me everything I need to know even wiping what I knew on production and itk ends even if I just had that it says e v e r y t h i n g I have literally watched people laugh track completely serious content, because it's gay ergo it's funny LGBT people. Shippers.

I wrote subtle lines. They got ignored. I wrote blunt lines. They flew past heads. I wrote lines designed to be overt to the point of painful. They got laughed off. Het culture is a hell of a drug. Both in this RP and in how we interpret romances like DeanCas, even LGBT people and shippers, because people are expecting performative results and statements where either for the former they don't fit the show or genre or for the latter, there's some sort of restriction or imposition but there's authors writing their gay little hearts out and tearing their hair out after.

I've been the author tearing my hair out until I wrote a Cas, explicitly, in a moment, to be as blunt and straightforward and unmistakable as I could, to the point I felt I was bending the character to even make it happen, and debated my options for like ten minutes before doing it, just to free myself of this purgatory. And STILL got a wash of questions wanting me to *confirm* the content they just saw instead of going, gee, that’s PROBABLY WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

Dabb is fighting the good gay fight and being woefully under respected for it, with Berens as his copilot, carrying a torch given to him by Carver, but people are too wrapped up in a mix of prior bitterness, performative culture, personal demands and shipping culture to see the forest for the trees, because he's deadass just writing an established fucking relationship but people would rather yell either queerbait or destroying the relationship. PR deadass pitched Absence like a het breakup drama and nobody blinked, just yelled how mean it was

Am I hinging my hopes on hammer-on-head-overt-canon-kissing-scene-DeanCas for the final season, no. Would I be surprised if it happened, knowing the execs? No, beyond breaking past corporate walls fandom dropped like a curtain in S9

But considering how "fuck performative culture" Berens is, as a gay man, fangirls absolutely should not fucking expect that either in even the most wild "the chains are broken, burn it all" method

Every queer man I know ships Destiel. Simultaneously, every queer man I know fucking loathes the sum of shipping culture with a vengeance.

Because it's grossly out of touch with MLM and is mostly WLW people trying to speak for what they think MLM should be when we already pretty much have the MLM right there.

YOU WANNA KNOW HOW THE ACTUAL QUEER MEN I KNOW SEE HOW THIS FANDOM HANDLES DESTIEL DESPITE BEING AVID SHIPPERS WHO SEE IT AS CANON ALREADY AND GET SCREAMED DOWN?

And since everyone likes to imagine the straight male audience as some borg, have a straight male friend exploding when someone called a fandom speakpiece a trainwreck. Bless his heart for not getting what queer or bi really mean situationally but his heart’s in the right place

I’m tired. Tired of trying to illustrate this to an audience I realized I have never once in my life been straight-coded enough to incorporate myself to much less understand the lensing of. Tired of watching queer men that I know who love this shit hide away in the recesses of DMs to hide from conversations lest they be accused of being homophobes or whatever by people refusing to read context, and/or just be smacked down by actual homophobes or just deadass rival shippers that refuse to see anybody be happy with something they don’t like in something that was never realistically a rivalry to begin with, because rivalry implies relative equality-ish and while all ships are equal in fanon, they aren’t necessarily in canon, and despite the thrashing and baying of antis this isn’t and will never just be a “fanon ship.”

Unpopular opinion but the biggest enemy to LGBT people isn't hets, it's the LGBT community, because we're too busy invalidating own own content and creators to make a truly unified front against het culture (or in this case, the network), and waving a flag with a lot of letters doesn't do anything to fix that. Yelling online into tumblr doesn’t fix that. @’ing creatives who have no power in this beyond the option to drop any attempt at queer resonant content cold turkey for you all to yell at them about THAT too doesn’t fix it.

No, yes, DeanCas are perfectly valid as Thebian warriors where one is clearly ace spectrum and the other is bisexualish if repressed as long as they are clearly enamored with and engaged with each other; no, nobody needs to fulfill anybody's migrating quota list when every romantic checkbox has been hit already that would be respected if they're het; would coming out statements in this sort of complicated relationship be great, sure, but they aren't in the kind of show that even addresses that and there's no way to make them even perform as the isolationists that they are without breaking or damaging the characters, not in the public eye, not in a show that hasn't shown a single sexual dean encounter for six-plus seasons for any other reason than to highlight a major traumatic problem in his life.

No, I wasn’t “hiding my gays.” My gays just didn’t have their bedroom times put on blast while they even openly made comments about the nature of their relationship everybody flagged down because they weren’t making out in front of everyone, even if that hand *did* drag a shoulder too long, even if Dean *Did* inexplicably drag a naked flatlining human Cas into the FUCKING med bay out of the Dean Cave at like 6 AM in the morning. Yes, your dedication to talking down content is that fucking loud even if you don’t realize it.

SPN is never going to be a show where the characters distinctly identify "I'm a nonbinary demiman ace-spectrum demisexual" and "i'm an aromantic bisexual with a female inclination", it's just not, stop trying to make it happen, it isn't gonna happen, realistically they are not the kind of people to engage gender politics, they're just going to be themselves. And it's queer, and it's beautiful. Fandom needs to stop moving goalposts because it's becoming more and more transparent. They just need to __. Go to dinner, check, have lingering touches walking past each other, check, admit love for one or the other, check, watches the goalpost run off into the horizon Kiss, you mean kiss, you want them to kiss, but Dean hasn't had that in how many years and what was the framing of the last moment of that.

SPN isn't about romance. Antis are right in that. But romance exists in SPN and one needs to mind the framework of it to not tilt the entire central focus of a genre show. One can have romance without being about romance, but people need to be conscious of what that means before they advocate about it. When Ruby or Anna were around they were dangerously close to becoming "about romance" which is why there was such a goddamn fit because these women were clearly tailor crafted to be plugged into a light/dark parallel in the back of the Impala

They haven't had a kissing-based romance in SPN for eight years. Ten if you cut past Lisa as a literal prop.

And if we wanna demand creator confirmation before we consider ace-y romances valid we'll talk about the biromantic commentary of S8 or the jilted lovers of S9 or the confirmed parallels of S10 or any of the overt shit after that, which got hit by marketing walls. We had that. They got yelled at for queerbait. Because it didn't hit people's quota. So we yet again hit a wall. Shipping fandom exhausts me. And I say that as a DeanCas shipper

I am literally watching people run their own goalposts around all the goddamn time Cas is so much more than becoming background commentary in the back of the impala like ruby and anna were geared to be He's his own goddamn individual, currently all but free of the wants and lusts of man from food to sleep to drink to urination to sex to PBJ, but deeply enamored -- per actual citation on the S8 DVD -- with humanity by proxy of a man he's given everything for Dean is a complicated individual who is growingly aware of his tug and pull with Cas on all emotional spectrums but has never once cheapened him to just being a sexual tool, reasons of which we can headcanon away, but he's never turned Cas into one of his bad coping mechanisms like Porn Star or Amazon or Deanmon's Fling And those, plus one waitress and a vague strip club incident in grief he came home from, sum up his post-lisa excursions, from a man who used to lay a different woman every episode in early seasons WelCoME to mlm cuLTURE In the actual L for love, not lust because kinda like jensen's headcanon of prostitute Dean there's even a chapter of feeling tossed away that's not what it's a b o u t and never was so performative DeanCas enrages me genuinely And if people have a genuine kink okay I guess but like, admit that's what it is. Otherwise assess the actual state and stasis of the characters in play and the cultural/gender issues involved, because it's soooo often either WLW or straight girls looking at MLM and deciding what they think it should be and it m i s s e s t h e m a r k b y a a m i l e and then the gay dudes hide in nooks or get besgieged by fangirls or are a Ben and avoid fandom entirely best Deans I've ever written with were with gay dudes tbh Kemi got the art of it enough to pre-write some scenes before they ever aired but there's elements that just vanish into the aether with either queer women or straight dudes. Different parts disappear Never had a straight girl write a Dean, don't intend to ever try wE nEed RepResEntAtiOn [sweeps hand at the show] if people stop running their goalposts around to the calls of straight girls, homophobes, and shipping culture it's right there. Is it monumental and groundbreaking, no, but SPN started as an outdated callback piece to begin with and has vaulted into the almost-current, so let's check ourselves in what we expect out of it. It's not gonna be a banner. But it's content actual queer men AVIDLY invest themselves in only to be told it's not enough/whatever in a world where there is dangerously low bi male representation, most is gay male, and most of that is hugely problematic stereotype easily replaced by a rainbow lamp wearing a boa and a sticky note pointing people towards plot. And in generous cases, are like Malec, which are a mix of creepy and stereotype. Yes let's nevermind the ancient warlock drawing the 18 year old dude into the allure of his thick eyeliner and glimmer and spandex pants, nothing to see here folks. but somehow we've reached a point as a culture that the above is considered better than "ageless deity becomes enamored with humanity through bond with one man, falling into him regardless of gender, surrendering all it knows to become like that man and protect that man, and becoming like unto a man, and learning the ways of man, through all classic romantic tropes known to man, and even classic endings and bookends of all romances given to man, only to settle in to a stable relationship baseline with a man, after sharing courtship gifts with a man" just because somebody, some fucking where, in a mix of bitterness, homophobia, and goalpost moving decided "public kiss or it doesn't count" even if we're left to wonder how that timeless thing knew what was under his pillow he kept safe that he came into his room and played him to get after a classic romantic gift.

Stop. It.

Yall may be wanting to victim pose because somebody else convinced you that you were a victim here but I’m a middle aged person willing to view history and accept basic FUCKING responsibility.

Because there’s a distinct fucking difference between “victim blaming” and “have some perspective and some basic adult responsibility in the unfolding of history as it happened rather than reframing it post-event because somebody else convinced you that’s what happened”.

The only people anyone is victims of in this fandom is people they took the word of as gospel without them having any sort of actual developmental insight at the time.

You wanna play victim?

Take it up with them.

As a modern meta author that primarily deals with actual legend and theology mytharc with a side of DeanCas structure I STILL run in to walls from antis erected by the people before me that did, indeed, use the methods they whip up as excuses, so if you’re gonna victim pose, I’m just as much of a victim of those people as you are, difference is I wasn’t enough of a follower to believe them when they preached “performative queer canon gospel to meet fangirl hetnorm performative demands of MLM we mainstreamed into our basic expectations because somebody told us to” at the time or now or ever.

In fact, here’s the conversation that LED INTO THIS RANT.

CastielToday at 12:27 AM Old SPN has its values in a form of nostalgia or genre-searching it had a sort of drifter grifter americana vibe the later seasons lost

GarthToday at 12:27 AM Ah, early 2000's

CastielToday at 12:28 AM Well it's more than just year it was definitely a genre piece back then

GarthToday at 12:28 AM No, I know, but shows that span a long time you can track in it where you can tell writers styles started clashing in a way

CastielToday at 12:28 AM and that genre was pretty much dead at that point so even when it was new, it induced nostalgia "This is familiar I miss this where did this go" but in being so oldschool as it aged forward it aged worse and worse against the modern and Misha was the first bolt that really sparked a dynamic shift it was a breath of fresh air that carried it through kripke's plan and almost doubled its respective viewership in scale but still kept the old spirit Gamble desperately tried to capture that spirit but did not understand the actual essence of that spirit and budget restrictions didn't help due to twitter buzz she thought that spirit was "just duh brudders" which is dangerously reductionist

GarthToday at 12:30 AM Hey, Misha saved it in more then one way.

CastielToday at 12:30 AM the brothers were ironic vehicles for that spirit that gave it faces but it was a weird form of american dream that america hadn't realized its dream had warped into 50 years ago the american dream was a 3/2 bed bath and business degree

StarfiraToday at 12:31 AM I don't get how Gamble thought Misha's Cas was expendable. She just couldn't get her mindset out of s1-3 mentality I guess.

CastielToday at 12:31 AM but as that became labored with culture and debt the american dream drifted into freedom, exploration and the road with some sense of familiarity in classics, be it cars or music

GarthToday at 12:31 AM Funny, I can watch some episodes and go "huh... well... it gets better" and that says a lot that I view Se1-3 like that

CastielToday at 12:32 AM Once security was no longer a security, and people became anchored by their illusions of security into desperate survival to maintain that illusion of security, the idea of roadster americana was the new american dream

GarthToday at 12:32 AM Hmmm good point

Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:32 AM I just looked at spn Facebook comments and geeeezzz

GarthToday at 12:33 AM I keep having to remind myself about a few details outside of SPN because being able to just wait for Netflix to get a new season then rewatch it all from the beginning has made me have a different view then others.

CastielToday at 12:33 AM So especially to the older generation older SPN has a strong nostalgic value you were lik six when it aired so that era is gone to you

GarthToday at 12:34 AM Yeah, 1996 Nov is me

Aryn Prime #TokenStraight😘Today at 12:34 AM One dude on Facebook said he resents that the actors have kids since he heard that part of the reason that it's ending is because J2M want more time with their families Wtf

CastielToday at 12:34 AM Whereas when it first aired

GarthToday at 12:34 AM I first watched when I was 14

CastielToday at 12:34 AM it was reflecting an age lost

GarthToday at 12:34 AM Aryn, wtf?

CastielToday at 12:34 AM to people desperately trying to find it but in reflecting old times it aged very poorly Gamble still didn't understand what made the appeal so regressed it to brothers without that true americana vibe while culling Cas which was a disaster

GarthToday at 12:35 AM See, it's like the same thing on how I can enjoy some older shows while understanding that it no longer works anymore. Older shows don't age well normally. And yeah, Se7 hahahahahahahhahahahahaha man once I stepped back and looked at the details of season 7 during the third rewatch I was like "hmm..... yeah. this sucks."

StarfiraToday at 12:36 AM I graduated high school in 2000 so those of you were kids when you watched SPN make me feel old. LOL

GarthToday at 12:36 AM lmao

CastielToday at 12:37 AM MOOD STAR MOOD

StarfiraToday at 12:37 AM AT LEAST I'M NOT ALONE WITH THESE YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPERS

CastielToday at 12:37 AM You were probably in the generation that if you had tuned in when it was fresh you would have been like OH I REMEMBER THIS

GarthToday at 12:37 AM LMAO

CastielToday at 12:37 AM I MISS THIS it's not by fluke that Dean's theme song is literally titled Americana

GarthToday at 12:38 AM Ah yes.... the theme song....

CastielToday at 12:38 AM It was a whole beautiful craft

StarfiraToday at 12:38 AM I'm actually in between Dean and Sam's ages

CastielToday at 12:38 AM But it had to get with the times and Gamble took it in the worst direction possible

StarfiraToday at 12:39 AM I was born in 82

CastielToday at 12:39 AM Carver... people have their issues with carver but IMO he recovered the show as well as he could with the plate he was handed in the times he was There were still problems sure

GarthToday at 12:39 AM It's gone through some ups and downs, yep.

CastielToday at 12:39 AM but to boot out of Gamble era into the modern world was no small task The WAY HE HANDLED THE PR he basically was like THAT SHIT WAS A HOT MESS AND I FLUSHED IT but eloquent it was some shit like REWATCHING THE LAST FEW YEARS I REALIZED THAT OUR LORE HAS BECOME A BIT DIFFICULT TO FOLLOW SO I DECIDED TO REVISIT MORE FAMILIAR ELEMENTS

GarthToday at 12:40 AM When the people working on the show go "shit, I forgot to make notes"

CastielToday at 12:40 AM It's not that Carver didn't make notes

StarfiraToday at 12:40 AM Oh man were so ecstatic when Carver was announced as a showrunner. Ultimately, he let me down in s9 and s10 but s8? Season 8 will always have a special place in my heart.

CastielToday at 12:41 AM it's that there was no kind way to voice that Gamble was a disaster He had a three year plan and for reasons™ got even derailed in that plan and half of it ended up in the cut footage Destiel fandom do not like hearing my take about it I'm a shipper but I recognize

StarfiraToday at 12:41 AM Is season 8 perfect? Nope, but I don't think it's easy to describe what breath of fresh air it was after the shit show of season 7 to those who weren't there when it was airing live and binged through it

CastielToday at 12:41 AM yall fucked up b a d nobody will ever own responsibility for it but carver's intent is clear as day on the creatives wall and season 9/10 became a fustercluck as a result I want everybody in this room to think about this from a creatives angle, first carver then corporate Carver said when he joined he had a three year plan with final notes on his desk from the second he walked in the door again he entered in season eight We know what happened seasons eight, nine, ten on screen

GarthToday at 12:43 AM Yeah, Star, I don't have as many problems with the seasons as others do because hello Netflix, but I can see where the issues are after some explaining and some insight into the PR stuff that happened with the fandom points at Min and others like her

CastielToday at 12:43 AM we know season great we know season 9 and its potential we know season 10 -- and most of us know its cut scenes humanity, being human, colette, the altar of winchester, the secret admirer, the boyfriends that strapped into the abaddon/colette parallels, all of it we know carver himself wrote the s10 finale and got it to film and then it got cut we know s9 he gave misha a note to play as jilted lovers from the showrunner but then we ask why did this never make it well nobody in fandom was paying attention nobody paid attention to SPN struggling the first seasons nobody paid attention to gamble's era almost getting nuked they all swore up and down this outdated americana show was about to have a queer pairing go canon because, yes, at that point reads crumbled note wallpaper

GarthToday at 12:46 AM Urgh, gotta go help with dinner prep. Mom doesn't like me being on Discord lately so I'm going to have to cut out now guys. Min, I'll catch up to your info drop afterwards lmao

since that still surprising some people too.

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paoladamasco · 4 years

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AU MEME 🔆OUR FLATS ARE OPPOSITE EACH OTHER AND YOUR KITCHEN WINDOW FACES MY KITCHEN SO WE ALWAYS SEE EACH OTHER MAKING COFFEE AT 3AM featuring @ofrosso; @benvoliosantodomingo; @romroses; @odessasvernon; @ofcastora

There’s a very specific reason Felipe wants her to move, and Paola is pretty sure it’s the hot neighbor right across from her.

“I like it here, Felipe,” Paola says as she sets breakfast down on the table. “It’s affordable, it’s a good neighborhood and I just figured out how to stuff all my books in here without looking like an abandoned library.”

“You could move in with me,” Felipe offers, stabbing a blueberry with his fork and popping it into his mouth with relish.

Paola laughs as she imagines it: both of them living in either of their cramped flats, with all their things overflowing so there’s no space to even sit on the floor. “It’s a little soon for that, don’t you think? Besides, neither of us can afford a place big enough. And I’m still not convinced I need to move out at all.”

Felipe shoots her a look that says he doesn’t believe her. “Your neighbors are questionable, for one.”

“There’s only been two deaths in the area.”

“Yes, but you hear three gunshots every night.”

Paola shrugs, sipping on her tea in between handfuls of grapes. “I don’t mind it.”

There is it: he can’t help but glance at her kitchen window. Looking for them, Paola knows. She heaves a great and tired sigh to recapture Felipe’s attention, raising her brows pointedly. “You know I’ve never even met them, right?”

“You could have mentioned you live across someone who looks like that when they’re shirtless,” he grumbles.

His frown, all boyish and charming, still wins her over, no matter the reason. Paola’s smile is genuine as she tells him, “They don’t even notice me. Now eat your breakfast, I want to go visit the new bookstore down the street.”

Before they leave, Paola sneaks a peek at the kitchen window. Just like she thought — they’re there. And they’re looking straight at her.

🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆

Marcelo watches the girl who lives across from them, and wonders if she knows she missed a spot while brushing her hair. There’s a hint of bedhead right in the back, still frizzy and bunched together.

They noticed her when she moved in, primarily because she moved in alone. With boxes in her arms, she trekked up the stairs tirelessly for hours with only a bandana holding her hair back. It did nothing to help the sweat; they know the feeling, the burn when it gets into your eyes. They remember grinning when they saw it happen to Paola, as she squeezed her eyes shut and began wiping furiously at her eyes.

They didn’t leave their apartment to offer their help, of course. It wasn’t their problem; it was just an interesting show, and they liked that she never seemed to tire. Every few hours, she stopped to eat a banana over the sink and take a long sip from a beer bottle. They liked that, too.

It’s pure curiosity that keeps them watching this tiny, waifish girl who single-handedly moves endless boxes — many of them books, the heaviest and the worst kind — into a tiny apartment. It’s been several months since she’s moved in, and they’ve learned quite a few things since.

She likes to make tea during the day, but she makes coffee at night. She seems to have books everywhere and even reads while cooking; it’s always a different volume in her hands. Sometimes, the two make eye contact and she always looks surprised to see them; she also always smiles.

She has a boyfriend. They didn’t know that until today. Apparently, the boyfriend never spends the night.

🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆

It’s 3 AM, and Felipe is long gone; but Paola is wide awake, devouring the book of philosophy she bought from the new bookstore. Or at least, she’s trying to be wide awake. Eyelids growing heavier and heavier, the solution is obvious. She needs at least two cups of coffee to get through this next chapter — and then maybe three more for the next.

She rises from the couch and heads to the kitchen. Instinctively, Paola looks out the window for the person she’s become used to seeing at this hour. Yep, as usual, they’re pouring a drink too.

Just after she’s noticed them, they lift their head. Their eyes meet.

They raise their brows at her as if they’re asking a question. Paola lifts a hand and smiles as if she’s giving an answer. And she can’t help herself — she ends up taking a quick peek at their shirtless torso, a sight she’s seen nearly every night and still can’t seem to get enough of.

Okay, she’s starting to see Felipe’s point.

Paola turns away quickly, focusing on her coffee and willing herself not to look back at them. She’s been dating Felipe for two months, and it’s been fun. Nearly effortless, with conversation as enjoyable as their silence is comfortable. It’s rare for Paola to find people she connects with so naturally. Since he first introduced himself, she’s blossomed beneath his attention.

She takes a sip from her cup and decides to get curtains for the kitchen window in the afternoon. It solves everything: Felipe will feel more comfortable, the dip in her stomach will stop and she won’t waste as much coffee looking for excuses to see them in the middle of the night.

Before she returns to her reading spot, Paola looks for one last sight of them. But they’re gone.

Why is she so disappointed?

🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆

As it turns out, curtains can be quite expensive. It also doesn’t come with the set-up she needs to get it ready, so Paola is quick to abandon her search. She doesn’t look too deep into how easily she abandons her project. It’s inconvenient, and out of her already-skim budget.

Over the next month, Felipe grows more distant — sometimes, when she goes to spend the night, his eyes are glazed over and never seems to be quite there. She has a feeling he’s using something, but he always vehemently denies it. Paola keeps an eye out for anything that gives him away every time she visits. Felipe is a recovering addict; she can try to save him, but she is only a helping hand. Ultimately, Felipe is the only one who can pull himself out of the abyss.

She still sees them intermittently during the day, and always every night. They’ve developed a routine: they hold up whatever liquor they’re drinking, and Paola shows them the book she’s reading. Sometimes, they’ll smile at the cover as if they recognize it. Whenever it happens, she’s overwhelmed with the temptation to go to their door and ask if they do.

But Paola is smarter than that, so she never does. Although, admittedly, she has gone to her door as if she’s about to make the first step outside.

🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆

They saw the boyfriend in person, once. Out for a drink with their friends, it’s a regular night for Marcelo. Bellamy is beside them and talking to the bartender, making friends as he always does wherever he goes.

Roman is flirting with everyone at the bar while keeping a close eye on Odessa, who’s dancing and pretending she doesn’t dance for his benefit. They roll their eyes and throw a shot to the back of their throat. Idiots.

Castora is fighting off every single person who dares make a pass at her. Next to her is Armand, who goes by his middle name — Ajax — and has been best friends with Castora since they were children. He’s also in love with her and it’s obvious to everyone but Castora. Marcelo flags the bartender down for another shot. It’s something of a game tonight: one shot for every idiot duo they see tonight.

They’re scanning the room for the rest of their friends when they spot him: the boyfriend. They straighten slightly as they search for the girlfriend. She’s reading a book that their dads used to love. Part of them wants to ask her for her favorite parts, as if it will give them a new piece of their dads to remember and lock into their memory.

She’s not with him. Damn. Whatever, it’s just a stupid book and they have plenty of their dads to remember anyways. The bartender finally arrives with their shot, and they take it without a beat.

The boyfriend is coming closer, and he’s loud. Marcelo can’t help but start listening in.

“It’s this new drug called faerie’s blood, and I’ve never had anything like it. You guys have to try it, I can ask my dealer to hook us up…”

They wonder if Paola dabbles in drugs, too. It’s not that they have a problem with that — but somehow, she doesn’t strike them as the type. But what do they know? They’re just neighbors who have this weird, hidden ritual that they look forward to every night, for some forsaken reason.

Marcelo orders another shot. They’re not sure which idiotic duo it’s for this time; they just know they need one, now.

🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆

Felipe is using again. She can’t say what drug is in the small plastic bag in his wallet, but Paola is positive it’s a drug. The two fight for hours. Felipe insists he’s being careful, and he’s sick of being watched like a hawk. Paola calls him weak, a liar who knows he’s ruining his life and choosing to do it, anyways.

The two are broken up by the end of the night, and Paola returns to her flat with her things. Hot, angry tears roll down her cheeks as she throws out whatever she finds that belongs to him: a few T-shirts he left behind, his toothbrush…

She’s pouring out the perfume he bought for her down the kitchen sink when they show up. They’re wearing a shirt, for once. Paola likes them in a shirt, even a simple gray T-shirt with their built chest filling it out nicely.

They hold up a bottle of scotch. Paola doesn’t have anything to hold up: no books, no coffee, nothing. She just stares at them blankly, until their expression becomes visibly bewildered and they shake the bottle in their hands as if to remind her of their ritual.

An idea dawns on her.

She holds up a finger for them to wait. Before they can respond in any way, Paola grabs the last book that made them smile — she’s kept it on her coffee table all this time — and runs out to find them.

🔆🔆🔆🔆🔆

Their door looks exactly like hers, but it feels entirely different. Paola takes a moment to stare at it, contemplating all that it means: seeing them up-close without glass between them, hearing their voice, learning their name… All of it is so simple, so necessary; yet they’ve found a way to communicate without it.

Is this stupid? Is this too rash, not even 24 hours having passed since she and Felipe broke up?

It doesn’t feel stupid; it feels right, it feels brave, it feels like an adventure. It doesn’t feel rash, either, with months and months of silent interactions and their nightly show-and-tells.

Paola doesn’t care; she’s going to do it.

She knocks on the door. When it opens, she’s struck by how tall they are. Paola blinks up at them and studies the small details she’s never been able to see across the distance. They have more facial hair than she realized. Their eyes are startling, not quite brown and not quite green.

They’re so tall. Paola isn’t sure why she’s so fixated on that, until — without her thinking it, without her questioning it — her hand is reaching up to cup the back of their neck and bring them down to where the small people like her live. Their lips crash together, uncomfortably at first; it takes only a short beat to find a rhythm, and when they do, they lean into it as if they’ve done it their whole lives. They seem to realize what’s happening a second after Paola does, hands gripping her waist and pulling her flush against their body.

She’s the first to pull away, breathing harder than usual. They don’t even seem to be affected — as if they expected this all along and it’s her who’s late to the party. There’s a smirk on their lips, the lips that she just kissed. Paola wants to kiss it again until they have to swallow their smirk, until all that’s left is the same smile she saw when she held up the right book title.

“Do you think kissing someone the night of your breakup is a bad thing to do?” Paola asks.

Surprise flashes across their face, but they look almost satisfied as they respond, “The better question is, do you care?”

She likes their voice. Better yet, she likes their answer. She smiles at them stupidly, having nothing else to say. It’s Marcelo who breaks the silence, stepping aside to make room as he says, “Want to come in?”

“I thought strangers weren’t to be trusted,” Paola points out, hoping the sincerity of her voice is understood as a joke.

It’s a relief when they laugh. They get it, she thinks, they get it. “I’m Marcelo.”

“I’m Paola.”

“Great, now we’re not strangers. Get the fuck in here already.”

#au meme #i think of you / but i no longer speak of it (marcelo)#drug tw

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pekkt · 4 years

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get to know the mun! repost, don’t reblog.

——— BASICS ! ♡

(PEN)NAME : scout scooter scouterson the third

PRONOUNS : they them he she all of em, i am but an illusion of any gender

ZODIAC SIGN : virgo sun, capricorn rising, gemini moon

TAKEN OR SINGLE : taken.

——— THREE FACTS ! ♡

i am an import coordinator ooc and idk i guess im into that now lmao. i like it, it’s just weird to go from retail with no experience in that industry to suddenly knowing things about supply chain management ?? at 34 i finally feel like an adult bc of this lol.

I am a animist and polytheist. a lot of what is considered my upg is played out here. uhmmm existing is Weird and i have Lots of Thoughts about it.

i recently (within last two years) have come to join the wrestling fandom, specifically AEW.... it’s just so STUPID and FUNNY and also dramatic. also very wholesome bc im a huge Best Friends fan.. and I even have a t-shirt available on prowrestlingtees.com for orange cassidy. IT’S REALLY DUMB I LOVE IT.

——— EXPERIENCE ! ♡

i have been doing this style of rp since i was 13. that is over 20 years ago my dudes. i have done it all. aol, msn, yahoo, greatestjournal, xanga, insanejournal, here, there, everywhere!! i have played a bazillion canon muses and OCs. i have a lot of really dumb past characters from both and its blunder city lol. i currently have on tumblr probably more than 10 muses but not all active. i have more marvel experience than anything :)

——— MUSE PREFERENCE ! ♡

I like them either super mysterious and weird or that and a lot of stupid. i like dumb jokes made somewhat serious. i write lads and gals and non binary beings and like them all!!! canon muses are fun when u can work their canon stuff into something even cooler tbh and i like that challenge a lot.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT ! ♡

FLUFF : yeah its all good but also i get really bored of long threads with it just being this? i need a mix in anything long.

ANGST : yes but drains me a lot so sometimes hard to write constantly and i need breaks from anything super heavy lol. but i will make u cry so go ahead and try me haha

SMUT : i really love the challenge of writing something smutty but in a way that celebrates the weirdness of sex lol. im also into exploring how things can be extremely intimate and intense without it being obviously explicit? idk its like regular stickin it in and havin a go is boring af but adding flavor to the whole thing and exploring narratives and emotions can be really nice to write and u can do that as explicitly as u’d like. go full vulgar words or not. also also i like thinking about sex and animism and wights, bc its weird and its like.. for certain muses, like sigyn, sex isn’t just a human thing experienced? not that i write like gross beastiality but her mindset is different bc she has lived as an animal for a time u kno? anyway its interesting

PLOT / MEMES :memes can be easy or hard depending on the meme but id rather get a bunch and have to say “nah can’t do that” for whatever reason than get none at all. i will send memes to mutuals and u can always ignore too idc! its kinda like... idk its nice to get a writing prompt basically thrown at ya, sometimes it helps wake up a muse and warm up ur writing for a session. plotting i can do too! im happy to chat about ideas and really love using this particular character as a way for others to meet their muse’s goals/extend their stories.

tagged by : @undeadunalive

tagging: whoever wants to do it babey

#ooc #blerghhh im sleepyyyy

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ellidoesstuff · 4 years

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“So What’s Band Like” pt. 2

aka random stuff people in my marching band have done but make it reminiscing on my freshman marching season edition and more focused on general events then what specific people have done

okay so like just to cover bases that one good percussionist from part one is the only percussionist that continued on into high school band

which is a fucking upgrade if you ask me

also i’m the only flute of my grade so i was flute baby™ last year

and then oboe baby when concert season came around

or as i like to call it

boboe™

oh and don’t fool yourself into thinking we have an oboe section either

it’s literally just me and my friend

anyway lets get deeper in to it then your boyfriend/S.O will ever be in you

or then you’ll ever be in your girlfriend/S.O

I ain’t gonna assume your situation

first band competition of the year we got stuck in a very hot band bus in a thunderstorm for like probably over an hour

we ended up being one of the only bands that actually stayed and performed which was cool

what was also cool is that we sang the 99 bottles of beer on the wall song and actually made it to 0

i’m also proud to say that one of the people who started that was my crush at the time, and my boyfriend now

how chaotic of him

but then again

he’s a percussionist

also my section leaders piccolo decided to just d i e and she couldn’t play for our entire performance at that competition

moving on

catch us drooling over a 200 plus member band at an away game with an elaborate Aladdin themed show

that same band played megalovania as a stand tune and when I say my band dropped all conversation and bopped to that shit I mean it

also the sunset that night looked like the teletubbie sunrise

when i informed my now boyfriend and my section leader of this they both looked at me like “why the fuck did you just ruin that beautiful sunset”

it is what it is

one time we had a flute hangout after school and before a Friday night away football game

except make it like the flute section featuring the alto sax section leader and my now boyfriend (who if you don’t remember is a percussionist)

oh and also briefly featuring one of our drum majors from last year and a trombonist

anyway we ate little caesars pizza at a playground in a neighborhood near the school

we also played on said playground

in the process putting my kermit plushie, who will most likely be a reoccurring character in this series, in the baby swing and pushing him

we then made friendship bracelets but my now boyfriend didn’t know how

so i did what anyone who knows how to make friendship bracelets and who’s crushing on someone who doesn’t know how to make friendship bracelets would do

i taught him how to make friendship bracelets

we also sat on the band bus together to and from that nights away game where I continued to help him make a friendship bracelet and then we looked at memes on the way back

some of them were funny, some of them weren’t

i laughed at all of them

why?

because i was and am…

a fucking simp

we hosted a competition the same day that we marched a two mile parade so basically everyone went home and crashed that night

Me, my friend, and my now boyfriend spent like over fifteen minutes trying to find this one band just so we could hand them a single candygram to give to some kid

that kid better have appreciated that candygram

My two friends and I also received a joint airgram from our moms so we all prompted to split the tiny piece of card stock into three and we each have a piece

It’s almost like a friendship bracelet

but one hundred times easier to loose

moving onto big boy competition territory

aka the Atlantic Coastal Championships

or at least i think that’s what ACC stands for

We were the first people to perform that day so we had to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to get to the competition in time

Like legit imagine a bunch of tired band kids on a school bus at 6am

It was actually kind of nice and very quiet

My now boyfriend and I watched Coraline on my chromebook on the way there

We also watched Coco on the way back but we aren’t there yet

I brought my Kermit plushie, as I should’ve, but he did not escape unscathed

My now boyfriend accidentally dropped him in his spilled chocolate milkshake which had made a fairly accurate rendition of Willy Wonka’s chocolate river on the stands

He was more upset about it then I was honestly and apologized a bunch while frantically trying to scrub the chocolate stain out of Kermit’s green plush flesh with his jeans

My now boyfriend also decided to spin Kermit up in the air like a helicopter and Kermit nearly flew over the back end of the bleachers since we were sat in the top row

Luckily he didn’t fly over but we quickly stopped throwing him around and Kermit promptly sat on the bleachers next to us for the rest of ACCs

Moving forward, I would highlight the game directly after I actually got together with my boyfriend but not a single fucking thing happened

Other then the fact that the concession stand ran out of hot chocolate

But not before my boyfriend, our two friends, and I could get our hands on some

Flash forward, our football team, in an act of what was probably some form of witchcraft or just downright luck, qualified for playoffs and the first playoff game was a FOUR HOUR drive away

They really said “okay everybody lets travel to the other side of the state for a single football game”

And before you say “well it would take a lot longer to get to the other side of my state!”

pack it up west coast/midwest

I live on the east coast our states are t i n y

we had to leave for this game in the middle of the school day right after lunch which meant i had to bring two separate book bags to school that day

one bag for band and one bag for school

regardless we drove on the bus through mountains and trees for four hours before stopping off to have dinner at some rando restaurant

and no offense to old white people but like it must have been senior night or some shit because when I tell you the only people in that restaurant were like 70 to 80 band kids and a bunch of old white people I am not joking

It was terrifying

And I mean like I’m not inherently scared of old white people

But what I am is non-binary growing up in a conservative area of a conservative state

And I was also holding the hand of my wonderful boyfriend who happens to be a person of color

I was scared I was about to be hate crimed

Or he was about to get hate crimed

Luckily I think the fact that we were part of a flock of like 80 other teenagers all wearing red shirts and sweatpants scared them off

Or maybe they didn’t even notice and my social anxiety just said “they’re looking at you, love ;)” when they probably weren’t

We also ran the ice cream machine at that place dry

Anyway this was like November and it was super fucking cold outside so the home schools band invited us inside the school building when we got there since it was still a bit before the game

I got to talk to some of the flutes and they were super chill

We also made this weird ass dance circle where we went back and forth doing steps that I forget but remind me of the cotton eyed joe for some reason

Maybe that’s what we were dancing?

I don’t remember I just know like the entire low brass section plus a select group of the upper woodwinds/percussion were all in on it

I also remember what I think was one of the flutes looking at me and my boyfriend who was hugging me from behind and being very physically affectionate, as he usually is, and mentioning something about wondering what instrument he played

If in some miraculous event you are reading this mystery flute girl, he’s a percussionist

you’re welcome

Nothing really stands out about the game itself other then how fucking cold it was and the fact that our football team won…

by a single point

We then all enjoyed the four hour ride back to the school

Most people spent it sleeping as it was like ten pm

Yeah you do the math we left at like 10pm

JK I’m not gonna make you do math we got back to the school at like 2am

Also notice how I said most people spent it sleeping

I probably would have been one of those people

However my lovely boyfriend, who again I do love, decided that a can of Mountain Dew at 10pm was a good idea

Baby, I love you, but why

10pm is too late for a Mountain Dew

We did end up sleeping for like an hour tho which was nice while it lasted

But then we had the glorious “Everyone we are about thirty minutes away from the school please call your parents to come pick you up” wake up call from our band director

And when I tell you that in that moment it felt like I was in between two different plains of existence

I am not kidding

It is a very interesting vibe

Anyway I apologize for how painfully long that was but I literally could go into so much more detail. This is just grazing the surface of the experience that was my freshman marching season. However, I’m stopping myself here. If for some reason you want to read more of this and aren’t willing to wait for me to make the part three that will be directed toward this years socially distanced band season, you can read the first one of these which has a remarkably funnier collection of events and a lot less cussing. What can I say, I was an eighth grader in middle school band with an instructor who was very lenient on what we did when we weren’t playing. Until next time, this has been Elliot, signing off until i inevitably find something else interesting to share with the internet.

#band #band kids #marching season #marching band #band geek #band class

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