#I may not have understood anything that was said but between the background music and Jinyoung's voice it was a very soothing ten minutes

[mystery-box-gifs]

Off the Grid  ☼  Postcards

[peachjagiya]

Yes to talking about the dynamics between the individual members and the company. I was started thinking about this again because of Bam's insta, actually, haha.

I agree that I think JK and Tae have a different relationship with the company, as opposed to other members like Namjoon or Jimin. And I definitely think there are similarities between Jk and Tae's approach -- and I think that is based on their own personalities as well as their closeness/influence on each other. Probably a better way to put it but I think they understand their responsibilities when it comes to the company but they have both decided to trust themselves first and foremost. I think about JK's "I'd never do something that everyone thought was wrong but when there are multiple ways, I'm going to do it my way" (paraphrased) and Tae's point about "being free" and his definition of free being different than others.

I think one of the similarities between JK and Tae is their comfort doing "non idol" things.

So the pup-stagram lead in. JK deleting his very popular instagram right before his solo launch simply because he didn't want to have it anymore (and sure, he's using weverse which benefits the company but seriously what doesn't). How does he spend his time on the social media: dance challenges, tipsy midnight lives and, now, managing an instagram for his dog. Carefully curated social media presence. My man said, Imma do me, thankyouverymuch. And let's not forget Tae. THE visual of K-pop. The face that launched a thousand ships. World's most handsome man. He goes to literally anything and grown men for miles lose their minds. What does he do with his anticipated solo launch? A close up of Yeontan. BRILLIANT. They both have different tastes and sounds (yet still have shared playlists!) but both so clearly have decided they are doing to redefine "idol" in a way that works for them.

Obviously there are differences. The company has goals (take over the western world!) and JK is central to that. And that supports his goals. So he benefits more directly from the company than Tae. I cannot articulate how much I love Tae's album strategy - from the sound, the visual, the vibes and the choice not to use the same in house team that has overlooked and undervalued him for 10 years.

I also agree with the point about Jin and Yoongi. I think they maintain a slightly more distanced or level perspective. I think it comes from age/maturity. When they started, they were young but not children. It's also interesting to think about how personal confidence and insecurity plays into it. I think Yoongi was confident in his abilities (he had been working on music prior) but had insecurities/anger about what it meant to be doing this in a k-pop space. Jin may have been insecure about his dancing or singing but he immediately stepped into the role of (handsome) hyung and knew it was needed of him (Yoongi's chicken blender meal, ew). I also think it comes from Jin having some security in his family background and him taking the role of hyung very seriously (more so than "idol"). Yoongi's relationship I think has evolved as he has gotten older, less angry and more successful. I think he has seen it for what it is and understood what needed to be done but that he also understand that changes as they literally built that company into what it is today.

Jimin and Hobi (until this documentary) are interesting because I'm not sure we ever really see them outside of idol mode. JM has acknowledged that even at the beginning he was hyper focused on roles and responsibilities. Maybe because they are performers and dancers. Namjoon used to be more that like that too -- the weight of being the leader - but I think we started to see that shift once he got to released Indigo. In fact, I think their solo careers are really how we can sort of tell so much about not only their tastes but their approach. Ok, this is getting too long. sorry for the rambling.

All of this, yes.

Their solo careers really did show much more authentic sides of themselves. I am so here for who Namjoon became in lives last year. Just a bit more free. When he has so much pressure on him to lead and maintain, I really enjoyed seeing him talking openly and standing up for himself.

Here's a thing I'm pondering: I wonder if they'll find it hard going back into a group setting. I think these guys love each other so much on a personal level but their different professional approaches could create... Hmm, not tension as such...

Maybe just a tiny bit of the awkward initially? Or you might start to see these differences a bit more clearly? This is all just supposition though and they're veterans by now.

It's interesting to think about how they'll navigate this after a period where they've been separated for a long time though. Naturally you'd fall into a routine with each other if you spend most days together but the seven of them are distinctly separate now and did a lot of growing professionally last year. Obviously they all still talk but they're not spending a lot of time working together.

Clear subunits have developed and matured over this period too. JK and Tae, Jimin and Yoongi. But then Jimin and JK are going to have a shared experience, Joonie and Tae too. Yoongi has a very different experience from the other six. And some things might be exactly the same: maknae line still a natural trio (thinking of Jeju), Jin still everyone's mummy, Jimin and Hobi still super close, everyone still holds Namjoon to the highest regard.

The dynamics will be super interesting.

I have a hunch - and honestly I'm just thinking out loud, these aren't hard and fast opinions as such - that JK might be key. He's interesting to me because I think his age and role in the hierarchy of the band has made him at times compliant with the requirements of being an idol and recognises how the company aligns with his goals and yet sometimes he seems extremely weary of it. He seems the most conflicted, maybe. I wonder what 2025 will be like for him most of all.

(the delulu in me says his conflict is very heart versus head but... Let's leave that out of this post for now.)

I'm really intrigued and excited to see. Whether they slip back into full group or if a solo-but-together approach helps them out. I personally would love a tour to include their solo stuff.

Now I'm getting rambly. Thanks anon, this is so interesting to think about 💜

[cosmicclearwater]

Feels Like

Genre: fluff Character: Leah Clearwater Word Count: 785 Warnings: none (a/n: Should be sleeping right now but I was listening to a song and came up with this. Let me know what you think. If you want to know/listen to the song that I listened to prior to and during writing this, it's called Feels Like by Gracie Abrams.)

Tucked away in a small, one bedroom apartment in the heart of Seattle, I found myself running away from my lover after having attacked her with a pillow in a lame attempt to end her teasing, cheeks tinted red from my efforts to escape, and maybe a little too much wine. It was moments like those, where we run around our apartment together, laughing like little kids as if we didn't have a care in the world, that I truly understood what it feels like to be loved. To be in love. Finding a sort of comfort in her that I can't find anywhere else. Being my true self without the fear of being judged. Looking into her eyes and feeling all of my worry, fear, and self doubt fade away. Despite the sound of the heavy rain mixing with the sound of the evening traffic flooding in from outside and our music playing softly in the background, her laughter was the only sound I could hear.

"Give up?" Leah asked, a smug grin on her face, having tackled me to the floor.

Although she had me trapped, I refused to give in. Responding with a resounding, "Nope!", I tried to maneuver my way out from under her. She giggled at my unsuccessful attempt, eyes full of admiration and amusement. After a few more seconds of pointless squirming, I accepted defeat. The room grew quiet, our eyes focused only on each other. The two of us perfectly fine with basking in the silence.

Eventually, Leah was the first to break it. "What are you thinking about?"

"You." I replied simply. She tilted her head in confusion, a cute pout forming on her lips. "I'm thinking about how lucky I am to have you. To have these moments with you. Despite the predicament I've currently gotten myself into, I can't help but think of now and all the other times that I've been with you and began to truly understand what love feels like." 

The honesty of my words and the seriousness in my tone caught her off guard. Leaning her head down, she nuzzled her face into the crook of my neck. It was her attempt at hiding the fact that what I had said flustered her, but I knew her well enough to know what affect my words had on her. If I could see her face, her cheeks would be burning bright red. It was then, at her moment of weakness, that I was able to free my arms from her grasp, but I didn't attempt to flee. Gently, I picked her head up so she could see my face, and so I could see hers.

"I would go anywhere in this world, whether it be here, hidden away in this apartment, or in the deepest parts of the Amazon, as long as you're there." I continued. "I used to be scared of this feeling that I would get only around you. This feeling of overwhelming certainty that I would do absolutely anything you asked of me. To completely allow myself and my world to be consumed by you. I love you. I wish there was more words in this world to explain how much I do because those three words just don't feel like enough."

"I love you, too." was all she said before closing the little bit of distance between us.

Our lips collided with a passion so intense that Cupid would cry. She may not have said many words compared to all of mine, but she didn't need to. Her actions said enough. They always did. Pulling away to allow us to catch our breaths, she brushed her nose softly against mine. My eyes remained closed, head swirling and stomach full of butterflies. It wasn't until I felt a small drop of wetness touch my cheek that I opened them again. Lifting a hand to her cheek, I wiped her tears away with a soft stroke of my thumb.

"So this is what it feels like." she said. Her words more of a statement than a question. "This is what love feels like."

It was there, on the floor of our shared living room in our shared apartment, that I lay side-by-side with my lover. Foreheads connected, fingers intertwined, hearts beating in sync. Even with the city bustling below us and the storm outside raging on, I couldn't find myself thinking about anything other than the sleeping woman in front of me. Peace and comfort lingering in the warm air around us. A soft smile on my face, my voice nothing but a soft whisper as I glanced at the sleeping beauty beside me.

"This is what it feels like."

[neitherlightnordark]

[I.D.: Jevil, drawn in light blue; and the Tree the Man hides behind, drawn in white, represented with blocks of scribbles and notebook paper. The background is black; the floor is scribbled to look like the Roaring's fire. The trunk of the Tree has "this next experiment seems / very / very / interesting" written vertically on its lines in all caps. Jevil reaches up to take Gaster's hand, which is reaching down from the tree. He has a huge, desperate smile on his face.

There's narration above this; the dialogue's written in Jevil's light blue, and the rest, in Gaster's white. It says, "'i have the smallest knot to untangle,' he spoke. 'one which i lack. coupled, i ask for forgiveness.'" End I.D.]

i thought: JEVIL had never looked this afraid before. or, to be more precise, this sort of afraid. he had never feared consequences, even on a cosmic scale.

and yet.

and yet. the look in his eyes. the darkness running down his face. the way he held himself.

"forgiveness?" i asked him, quiet. "dear jester. you could never transgress me. that is not your meaning."

his smile grew. "you have done so much for me, so much for me," he said, his voice musical in a minor key. "we have had so much fun together!! you have brought me so much joy, joy!! and to- to question- to question this absolute- to question-- t---"

"you may bring anything to my feet," i said when he could not speak.

"did something... go wrong?"

he took a step closer to the tree.

"it made me so happy," he said. "to learn how paper-perfect this world was. how much could be messed with!! how little anything needed to truly change upwards, upwards!!! we could all rest, rest, we could all play, play, and i thought- i sought to spread that joy!"

"...understandable," i said.

"and yet." JEVIL's every word thrummed. "the boring fellows, they never listened, listened. all-crashing, a cascade- t'was understandable, though, understood!! understood!! and i minded them not, but i had someone i needed to save, so i thought- i thought SURELY- i thought, if one saw what i saw... so... i drew the light. i took the looking-glass."

"and?"

his voice dropped in volume. "and seam looked, seam looked, seam looked, seam looked so scared. i never. i never, i never. saw the mage look that scared before..."

"...did you... talk about it? to the magician?"

"NO!! i sought your advice firstmost." JEVIL squeezed the hand that was not my hand. "i sought your answer firstmost. now, tell me!! you know all!! how can i make the old keep understand, understand?"

i was silent.

his smile stretched wider than before. "so i did it wrong, wrong? can you fix it? could you tell the story to seam as well? can you do anything for this?"

i stood there, looking down at him.

(there was nothing i would do to stop it.)

"you will do alright," i said.

jevil's smile disappeared.

"please. go back. live. do what you've chosen." i touched his hat, and its bells jingled a little.

with fondness, "i shall see you again, jester."

"i," said jevil, unsure.

but there was trust between us.

he took his knife upon his hands, and as it shone, he smiled up at me, true, true. "well, i'll see you very, very soon too, dear doctor!! perhaps i'll bring a friend, friend!!!"

"i hope so," i said.

we said goodbye.

a hundred years passed.

[scholar-of-imagination]

Everybody Hurts (Criminal Minds)

An (unnamed) team member worries she may be developing schizophrenia and turns to Reid for reassurance. ONESHOT.

Read on FF.net HERE

Reid liked it when they got assigned to the same facet of a case together, even though it was usually only to the M.E.’s office (since they both had a background in science).

For one, she always let him drive. Usually, he was perfectly content to let Hotch or JJ or Prentiss or even Morgan to take the wheel; in fact, it wasn’t until he was 26 that he finally got his license, which took Morgan bullying him into it and then Garcia and Gideon patiently taking him out to practice for several months before he felt ready to take the test.  

But even though he passed on his first try – driving was all physics, after all – he still felt self-conscious and inadequate when performing the skill in front of most of his team members. With her, however, he felt authoritative and capable and … oddly protective. Plus, it was nice to practice with someone he knew wasn’t going to mercilessly rib him about his unrefined and occasionally unorthodox technique.

For another, they didn’t always have to talk. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy their discussions – he did – he just also appreciated an opportunity to mull over the facts of a case without the additional responsibility of holding up one end of a conversation.

He also liked getting a chance to listen to her (rather extensive) music library. She always had a cable and her iPod tucked neatly into one of the front pockets of her backpack – he remembered once how she had raged on about how streaming services were taking away our ability to “own” music – and, always after first asking if he was ok with both music and her selection, would play anything from classic 60s rock to (highly curated) current pop hits to Broadway showtunes.

Today they were driving through the rather remote country town of Lamar, Pennsylvania, the mountains surrounding them forming distant walls of brilliant fall foliage and R.E.M.’s Automatic for the People bridging the amiable silence between them. Although he doubted anything would come of it, he was on high-alert for her to bounce some personal problem off of him. Despite the unspoken rule against inter-team profiling, it was such a reflex for Reid that he has long ago noticed that his friend tended to gravitate towards this album when she was feeling particularly existential. Furthermore, today she wasn’t exhibiting any of her normal I-know-this-song-so-well-it’s-a-part-of-me behaviours, such as head bobbing and enthusiastic air drum solos. Neither was she asleep, with her head either wedged between the headrest and the door or balanced precariously on the seatbelt, which often happened in situations like today where back-to-back cases on opposite sides of the country left them all nauseatingly jet-lagged.

So he was partially prepared when she turned to him to ask: “Reid, do you ever feel…not real?”

“What?”

“Sorry; I said d’you-”

“No, don’t worry; I heard you. I just wanted to make sure I understood.” Whatever Reid had been expecting, it hadn’t been this. Regardless, this was a potentially delicate question. If she meant what he was now greatly concerned she meant… she was in the right age group, after all… but he hadn’t noticed any symptoms in her…

“Ok, ummmm, I know this sounds a bit daft, but do you every worry that this isn’t what life is supposed to feel like?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if being in the FBI was what I was meant to do with my life.”

“That’s sort of it. I guess… I always expect experiences to feel a certain way – like maybe feel grown-up or something – and I know it’s not logical to know what a new situation is going to be like but I still end up feeling… disappointed, somehow.” She rushed on, “I’m sorry to dump this on you; I was just really worried that if I tried looking this up on the internet I’d get too freaked out.”

By now, Reid had relaxed a little: this didn’t sound like dissociation or delusion. He almost smiled to himself; of all the things one might not want to google, there were probably very few of which he would be a prime resource. Violent crime being perhaps one of the very rare exceptions, he through ruefully.

“Well, just because I haven’t felt like that doesn’t mean you’re alone. Statistically speaking, of the roughly 7.753 billion people in the world, it’s likely that someone else has.”

“But that doesn’t make it normal! There are hundreds of thousands of unsubs, but that doesn’t make killing other people normal! I guess I’m just…” – a heavy sigh, steeling herself – “… can someone with schizophrenia know they’re developing it?”

Damn her medical background.

“I know, I know; I’m not paranoid or having hallucinations or magical thinking. I’m not seeing messages for me on TV. I don’t think I’m having delusions, although I’m not sure how I would know about that. As I said, I’m sorry to dump this on you.” She looked ready to burst into tears at any second.

Reid let the silence hang in the air for a moment, allowing him to collect his thoughts and for the last notes of “Monty got a Raw Deal” to fade away. He watched as she reached over to make the song replay, and he felt a smile tug at the corner of his mouth again. Although he would never admit it out loud (even to himself), he thought it was cute the way she would sometimes listen to a song she particularly liked on a seemingly endless loop. It felt like something he would do himself.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t noticed anything I would be worried about.”

“It does a little.”

“You don’t have any family history of schizophrenia, do you? Remember, it’s highly linked to genetics and would be exceedingly rare for you to develop it de novo.”

“No, I don’t, but I’ve seen loads of people with it; it’s not impossible!”

“Actually, your data set is faulty, as it’s been heavily influenced by sample bias. There are going to be a higher number of people affected if the population you’re using is medicine and criminal justice.”

“You’re right. And ‘loads’ might be a but of an overstatement anyway.”

“Probably. How about I make you a deal?”

“Depends on what it is.”

“I’ll promise to tell you if I’m concerned you might be headed towards a schizophrenic break if you promise to tell me anything else makes you worry about it. Trust me, this isn’t something you should have to deal with on your own.” The song trailed to a close again and he hit the replay button as she wiped the still unshed tear from her eye.

“Deal.” She flashed him a quick smile, sighed heavily, and leaned back in her seat, eyes closed and looking as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“Spencer?”

“Hmm?” He looked over but her eyes were still closed.

“Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

[wormstacheangel]

Second part to the mixtape headcanon. Dean’s reaction to Cas being at his door in the middle of the night with the mixtape in hand.  

Dedicated to Liv ( @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie ) sorry it took me a while but here it is. Might not be what you expected but hopefully you enjoy it either way.

Cas stopped short in front of Dean’s door. His heart raced as he held the Walkman to his chest, clinging to the words he just heard, but he knew those words were years old. So much has changed in general, but between them, it felt like a still lake.

Since coming back, Dean has acted as if those dying words weren’t even spoken. Sometimes Cas wondered if he imagined the whole thing, but he knew the truth; Dean didn’t feel the same way and didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for them.

It was something Cas has accepted the last few weeks of being in the bunker, being home, but now, with Dean’s secret message, he felt the courage in him bubble up his throat.

Cas quickly knocked three loud, quick bangs with his fist before waiting for a response. He heard a groggy, “What?”

“Dean? May I—Can we talk?”

Cas didn’t hear an answer right away, and for a second, he thought maybe Dean fell back asleep; he knew it was the early morning hours but wasn’t quite sure of the exact time. Still, time never really meant anything to him before, but now, as a human, time has become precious, and he didn’t want to keep wasting it.

He took a deep, shaky breath, raising his fist to knock again, but the door then clicked open. Revealing a disheveled and disoriented Dean.

He leaned against the door frame wearing lemon patterned boxer briefs and a hand up his t-shirt to scratch at his chest, as he yawned before he blinked at Cas a few times, “Dude, it’s 3 am. What can’t wait ‘til morning?”

Cas swallowed his nerves down before looking down at the Walkman to take out the tape. He brought it up to Dean’s face, and with an earnest voice, he said, “You said to come ASAP. So I’m here.”

Dean only looked at the cassette tape; a small gasp of a breath raised his chest, but then his face scrunched up in the familiar fixed glare, so Cas continued knowing Dean won’t talk. Not yet anyway.

He put the cassette back into the Walkman as he talked, rewinding it to keep his nervous hands busy. “I believe I understood what you—what the songs mean, but I am still so new at all this. If I am wrong, I don’t want it hurting us.” Cas took a sneaky look back up at Dean to find him watching the Walkman with the same intensity Cas was.

It only took a few seconds, and then Dean was shuffling in the doorway as the first song, Ramble On, started to play through the headphones. With no other words, Dean opened his bedroom door open just a little more, an invitation to come in, before he walked back over to sit at the edge of his bed.

When Cas walked in, he closed the door behind him but stood awkwardly by it. He broke the silence first as he looked anywhere but at Dean.

“You know what, maybe this can wait until morning.”

“You already woke me up.” Cas looked up to meet Dean’s stare, it wasn’t cold, but it still sent a shiver down Cas’s spine. “So talk.”

Cas opened his mouth, not knowing what words he was even forming, but Dean stood with a hand up to stop him before any words were spoken.

“Actually, first, why are you bringing this up again? I gave you that thing years ago.”

Cas put the Walkman down on Dean’s desk, the music softer but still background music, before looking at Dean with guilty soft eyes, not knowing how to explain himself. “Yes. I just heard—I appreciate the gift, Dean. Thank you but-um.”

Dean seemed taken back by the words, and, by his hardening demeanor, Cas knew they were the wrong ones. Dean was building walls up again.

“You know what, Cas,” Dean scrubbed a hand down his face as he glared past Cas with an uneasy smile settled on his face. “I can’t do this right now. How about we leave the rejections for some other time? Yeah?”

Cas opened his mouth, confused, but Dean nodded.

“Good. Night, Cas.”

Oh. He was already being rejected. It made sense that Dean’s feelings changed after all this time. He must have been waiting for Cas to mention the message, but it’s too late now. He lost Dean’s love.

Cas reached for the Walkman, but now he wasn’t sure if he wanted to listen to those songs, understanding why Dean skips them now. So he fists up his hands, leaving the Walkman where it laid, before giving Dean a stiff nod in return.

“Understood. Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean didn’t say anything in return, his jaw clenching as he looked at anywhere but Cas. “And take your damn gift with you.”

Cas’s chest tightened at the words. He felt familiar pain spread through his body, one he wished had a physical reason than an emotional, psychological one because a fist to his chest would hurt less.

“I don’t want it anymore.” Cas spit out as he opened the bedroom door and walked out into the hallway. “Throw it away for all I care.”

He slams the door closed behind him and stalks to his room, slamming that door behind him as well.

Then as soon as he is in the safety of his own space, he can feel the pain making itself known, like a hot blade slowly cutting into him or something heavy sitting on his chest. Either way, he wanted it to stop. Wishing he never heard that message or that he heard it at the right time.

Cas laid wide awake in bed, curled up around a pillow he was hugging to his chest. He stared at the wall, wishing he had a better imagination to keep him entertained, but all he could see was Dean’s glare. The glare those green eyes dug into him really digging roots and pulling him apart from the inside out with an invisible pull.

He couldn’t go out there and face him now. Maybe, Cas should have just ignored the long-ago message. It was apparent Dean had lost those feelings for Cas; he would have brought up Cas’s dying words weeks ago if Dean felt remotely the same. Now Cas was left with an awkward situation he didn’t want to be a part of.

He needed to leave.

Cas knew that. This is how it always went. Cas needed to go.

Cas stood up to walk over to his desk to grab his wallet and keys before grabbing his coat, ready to sneak off before the sunrise. He’ll be gone before Dean can kick him out again.

He didn’t even get a chance to open his bedroom door before Dean was striding in with a determined glare, “Okay, fuck this, I think we really need to-” Dean stopped to look Cas up and down as his shoulders dropped. “You’re leaving.”

“I think—I think it’ll be best.”

Dean nodded, his bottom lip being sucked into his mouth as he stared back at Cas. “Sure. Just do what you do best. Runaway.” Dean threw whatever he held in his hand across the room and broke it with a loud bang. Cas flinched as he saw what it was, the Walkman. “Fuck if I care!”

Dean was already turning to walk away, but Cas grabbed hold of his arm to stop him. “Why are you so damn mad, Dean?” Cas walked to step in front of him. He moved until he finally locked eyes with the angry hunter. “I’m only doing this for you.”

Dean rolled his eyes and shrugged Cas’s touch away. “Don’t bullshit me, Cas! You’re running away cause you don’t want to face me.” Dean poked Cas’s chest as he continued his angry rant. “Why don’t you start acting like a fucking man and face the damn consequences instead of being a little bitch and running away?”

Cas didn’t stand down as he glared back at Dean. “Enlighten me then. What would those consequences be?”

Cas took Dean’s finger and pulled it away from his chest, but it stayed in his grasp as he took a step forward, never taking his eyes off the familiar angry glare. The angry man he left behind still here after all those years, looking back at him with an ‘I dare you’ stare, but Cas could always read past those words. Dean was hurting.

“Why don’t you stop acting like a…like a little bitch, and just-!” Cas stopped with a loud sigh while he dropped Dean’s hand, along with his stare. Instead, he looked down at their socked feet. Dean was wearing pizza socks while Cas wore matching burger ones. They came in the same pack, and Dean split it up for them. He cracked a small smile thinking of that day before looking back up at Dean with pleading eyes. “Dean. I’m tired of this. Can you please just…Just talk to me?”

“Nothing more to talk about, Cas.” Dean sounded more defeated than angry now. “I got the message. Loud and clear.”

Cas blinked at him a few times. “Well, I’m sorry, but I apparently haven’t gotten the same message.”

“Don’t play dumb.” Cas just stood there staring at him, waiting for him to continue. “Geez, Cas, how many times are you going to fuck with my—I get it, dude, you don’t feel the same! I am doing my damn best here to be fucking normal about this, and then here you come bringing that old relic back as if—Did I fuck up somehow? Am I not giving you enough space?”

“I have enough space, Dean.” Cas tried to understand Dean’s words, process them, but they all felt just as jumbled in his mind as they did, leaving Dean’s mouth. “I—I’m sorry, I just don’t understand.”

“Shocker.”

“Did I understand the message wrong?” Cas ignored him as he asked, turning his head towards the shattering remains of his gift.

He felt his shoulders fall as a pang of sadness hit him from seeing his first gift broken. Cas walked towards it, hoping he would find the tape safely stored away inside the deck of the Walkman. He crouched to pick up the big chunk of plastic in his hand. It was smashed beyond repair, and the eject button was not working. Great, he’s going to have to break it more.

“ASAP,” Dean mumbled to himself, and Cas hummed in response, twisting the part in his hand.

“Yes. That’s what you said, so I did.”

“I told you to talk to me ASAP years ago, Cas.” Cas didn’t have to look up to know Dean was walking closer to him. “Did you just listen to the message?”

“I did.” Cas’s shoulders slumped in guilt. Dean has been waiting for a response all this time. “Sorry.”

“So when you were—when you tried to return the tape, that wasn’t a, um, a rejection?”

Cas looked up at him before he stood up, the broken Walkman in his hand. “I have loved you then like I love you now, Dean. I would never. Is that what you think happened?”

“Yes!” Dean took a step forward as he ran his hand through his hair, his eyes traveling down to the broken shards. “Shit. So wait, when you said you loved me, before the empty…did you mean,” Dean cleared his throat as he walked closer, nervously scratching his beard when he realized he didn’t have any pockets to hide his hands in. “Did you mean romantically? Like, like human romance?”

“I,” Cas felt his throat dry up as he tried to swallow a lump as he nodded earnestly. “I did. Yes.”

Dean looked at him, looking for something, and before Cas could ask what it was, Dean had his hands on either side of Cas’s face—pulling him in close until they were chest to chest. Then lips to lips.

Cas didn’t even realize he dropped the machine until he realized he had his hands on Dean’s skin. Feeling his body lift off the floor until he was being dropped on the bed, and Cas was watching something he never thought he would have or hear.

“I love you, Cas. I love you so much.”

Happiness isn’t always in the having, but fuck, this was so much better by a long shot.

[not-the-tie-youre-looking-for]

Something that's been bugging me for years since the Legends finale. If Zhan had been the writer for Rebels, do you think he would have had Thrawn bomb Lothal to bring Ezra out? On the one hand, from Legends Thrawn's portrayal I imagine he would without a second of hesitation. On the other, Canon Thrawn has been much more... restrained? And on a third point, there's the fact that Legends and Canon Thrawn seem like they really could be the same person just at different points of time. cnt in next

...I'm just curious if anyone else was curious if Zhan agreed with that direction taken. Which, on that note, did Zhan ever say anything about his thoughts on how Rebels handled Thrawn? Both from a writing standpoint as well as an acting and musical one (Thrawn's various leitmotifs)?

Oh man. Ohhhhhhhh maaaaan. My friend, you have asked exactly the right person this question, because not only have I wanted to talk about this multiple times before, but I also have ~receipts~. 👀

⚠️Spoiler warnings for Star Wars: Rebels, The Mandalorian, the canon Star Wars novels Thrawn, Thrawn: Alliances, Thrawn: Treason, Thrawn Ascendency: Chaos Rising, and Thrawn Ascendency: Greater Good, and the legends Star Wars novels Heir to the Empire, Dark Force Rising, The Last Command, and Outbound Flight.⚠️

Oh man. Where to begin.

Lets start with who Thrawn is, because depending on who you ask, you're gonna get different answers—whether you're strictly a Legends fan, Dave Filoni, a guy who's only seen Thrawn in Star Wars: Rebels, Timothy Zahn, or just a writer/artist fan like me.

To Timothy Zahn, the man behind our favorite chiss, Thrawn is a character that is constant in both attitude and personality throughout all of his content. In multiple interviews, ranging from Thrawn's debut in Rebels to the latest about the writing of the Ascendancy Trilogy, Zahn states that Thrawn in canon and Thrawn in Legends are indistinguishable.

And so I present the receipts:

In a 2017 interview with The Verge on writing the first canon Thrawn book Thrawn, Zahn is asked the following question and responds as such:

How do you navigate bringing back a character who already has an extensive backstory and audience expectations, with telling a new story that fits in the new continuity?

Actually, I didn’t find that to be a problem. I’d never written Thrawn in this part of the Star Wars timeline, so it was simply a matter of bringing him into the Empire and chronicling his rise through the ranks. It’s still the same character as in the 1990s books, just a decade or two younger and in a very different military and political environment.

In another interview with The Verge in 2018 (a few months after the finale of Rebels aired) about writing Thrawn: Alliances, he repeats this sentiment twice:

Thrawn feels like if it had been written before the canonization purge a couple of years ago, or if you squinted a bit, it would serve as a perfect setup for Heir to the Empire.

Oh, I don’t think you need to squint at all. I wrote him in these two books to fit in with everything else I’d done. So if someone at Lucasfilm snapped their fingers, and suddenly all of my other books were canon, and there would be no real retrofitting that would have to go in. It would all fit together.

Thrawn: Alliances feels more at home in the new canon, especially because Thrawn has been fleshed out a bit more in Rebels. Was there any adjustments for that?

Not really. I’m getting to play with more canon characters like Vader and Padmé and Anakin, but the character himself, I still see him as the same person. He’s got goals, and he won’t necessarily share them with you, but he as long as you’re going the same direction, he’s happy to cooperate and assist along the way.

...and this is referenced again in a 2020 interview with Polygon about writing Thrawn Ascendancy: Chaos Rising:

Along with Thrawn’s appearance in Rebels, Zahn would pen a new novel, Thrawn, that chronicled the character’s early days as an Imperial officer. Zahn didn’t have to change anything with the character, telling me in 2017 that “he’s like an old friend who I understand completely.” While Heir to the Empire was no longer canon, a reader could easily read Thrawn as a precursor to that classic novel. Thrawn went on to become a major presence in Rebels, and Zahn continued to explore his origins in Thrawn: Alliances and Thrawn: Treason.

The next day, an interview with IGN was published on the same subject:

Thrawn is an especially unique case because Zahn has been able to effectively continue the work he started way back in 1991 with Heir to the Empire. That novel may not be a part of official Star Wars lore any longer, but as Zahn explained, Thrawn himself is basically the same character regardless of continuity.

[....] The closest comparison between Chaos Rising and Zahn's earlier EU work is probably 2006's Outbound Flight, which is set during the Clone Wars and details the first encounter between Thrawn and the Galactic Republic (while also retroactively laying the groundwork for elements of Heir to the Empire). That novel is no longer canon, but Zahn told us he prefers to operate as if it were. He's making a concerted effort not to retread the same ground as Outbound Flight and to avoid contradicting the events of that novel as much as possible.

So yeah. In Zahn's opinion, Legends Thrawn is Canon Thrawn is Book Thrawn, and there is no difference whatsoever between Thrawns in, say, Outbound Flight, Heir to The Empire, Alliances, and Chaos Rising. I wholeheartedly disagree, but lets move on.

Now that the books are out of the way, its time for Rebels.

In July of 2016, after the trailer announcing Thrawn's canon debut aired, Dave Filoni had the following to say about Thrawn's character in regards to Timothy Zahn:

“I was pretty adamant with a couple of people saying, ‘Listen, we need to have Tim sign off on this. This is kind of a waste of time [otherwise],'” says Filoni. “We, of course, can do what we want with a character that Lucasfilm owns, but without Tim’s okay, what does it mean? That’s not going to be good. Once we had some stuff, we wanted to do what we thought was right and make the character. Then we brought him in. We had the production fully prepared. I said, ‘Look, if there’s something that Tim says that I think is really valuable, even if it changes something dynamically, we need to be ready for that and see what we can do.’ I wanted to make sure we did this right by everybody. We brought him in and we didn’t really tell him why. We just flew him up to Lucasfilm and sat him down in a theater and said, ‘Hey, we’re bringing Thrawn into the show.’ He was like, ‘Wow.’ and I said, ‘Yeah, wow. And I’m going to show him to you right now and you let me know what you think.'”

(Before we continue, keep that first highlighted sentence in mind for future reference. I'm going to come back to that later.)

Fortunately, Timothy Zahn was delighted at the show’s approach to the Empire’s imposing blue-skinned Chiss.

“We showed him some of the scenes with him,” Dave Filoni recalls. “He looked like a kid in a candy store. I think it meant a lot to him not just because it was his character, but because you have to imagine what he went through when it was announced that everything is Legends now, not Expanded Universe. I get that and I’ve always appreciated the work that goes into the Expanded Universe… For Tim, I think it was us saying, ‘No, no, no. We really like your character. We want him to be part of the real thing. The canon universe.'”

So in 2016, before we even saw Thrawn in action beyond a trailer, we were told that Zahn gave the OK, and he was chill with the way Thrawn was created in the show. In 2017, he gave a little more of the background of this process in an interview with FANgirl Blog:

The events of Thrawn dovetail closely with Rebels and shed light on some of Thrawn’s more seemingly surprising actions on the show, like when he appears to lose his temper and yell at Lieutenant Lyste. What was it like to see Thrawn come alive onscreen? Is he how you’ve pictured him in your head?

I don’t see my characters in terms of voice or appearance, but rather as personality or attitude. That said, I very much enjoyed the way the Rebels team brought him to life, in his appearance, voice, and actions.

I also appreciated the freedom I had to tweak certain incidents, such as the one you mentioned, and give additional or alternate explanations for the viewers who may have thought those were somewhat out of character for him.

He doesn't really elaborate on this, but we can assume he had SOME creative input on Thrawn's character, and he was overall pretty happy with the choices made in the show.

But then, we have this from that earlier 2017 the Verge article:

When did you learn that Dave Filoni was intending to bring Thrawn to Rebels, and did you have any input into how the character would be handled?

[...] I didn’t have any real input into how Thrawn was going to be handled, mainly because the lead time of an animated series is so long that much of season 3 had already been finished. But I trusted Dave and the team to do the character right. After all, why bring him into Rebels if you were going to drastically change him? Having seen the entire season now, I think we can agree that my trust was completely justified.

So... he didn't have "any real input," but was satisfied with it in the end? I guess? I don't know. We're getting into some contradictions now.

The last thing I've got in regards to Rebels is an interview Zahn did with the YouTube channel Star Wars Explained after the finale aired, where he responds to the following:

“So, maybe let's jump over to Rebels for a little bit. Now that it has wrapped up, how do you feel Thrawn was represented in Star Wars: Rebels?”

“They did a really good job—they not only understood the character and how to write for him, but they also understood the meta around how you defeat him. The only way to defeat Thrawn is to throw something at him he can't control, or can't anticipate. Given perfect knowledge and control, Thrawn will always find a way to win. But they understood, this is how you defeat him, these are the things we can use against him... so his portrayal in general, is very good; he's smart, he's anticipating, he's a step ahead of everybody, he's looking at clues and picking up on them, so I was very pleased with how the Rebels team handled the character."

I think these quotes answer many of your questions, so to answer your initial question: If Zhan had been the writer for Rebels, do I think he would have had Thrawn bomb Lothal to bring Ezra out?

Yes—but ONLY because at that point, the only established™️ Thrawn content was found in Legends, where Thrawn was a ruthless and calculating warlord.

However!

I do believe that if given the chance to re-write the Star Wars: Rebels finale using his now-canon novels as a solid background TODAY, Zahn would choose to not let Thrawn bombard Lothal's Capital City.

I believe this because he made one single very interesting creative choice when writing Thrawn that completely overwrote Thrawn's pre-established Rebels character: Thrawn was not responsible for the civilian deaths on Batonn—Pryce was.

And that's that on that.

A few months ago I would have ended it there, but today, Thrawn's story is no longer just contained in the novels and Rebels, but also in that of The Mandalorian.

This is where I will proudly say I have no idea what the fuck is going on. Before The Jedi aired, I was 100% sure that the next time we saw Thrawn, it would be nowhere NEAR the Empire, because Zahn was pretty adamant in the novels that Thrawn was only in the Empire to help. His. People.

So now he's apparently doing fuck-knows-what in fuck-knows-where and is STILL associated with the Seventh Fleet and Imperial Warlords???

Huh??? Despite the fact that he held no true loyalty to the Empire or to the Emperor??? It's been months and I'm still confused as fuck. Add to the fact that Zahn also doesn't know what the fuck is going on to the equation and we get a big fat question mark with one pretty clear answer that Filoni said himself that we have to keep in mind:

"We, of course, can do what we want with a character that Lucasfilm owns."

So I don't think Zahn has much control over Thrawn as we would all like to think. We can hope he gives us the crazy Thrawn and Ezra Space Adventure™️ novel all we want, but ultimately, Thrawn's fate does not rest in his hands.

If you guys have more to add please let me know!!! This is, obviously, a topic I am very passionate about, so I'd love to hear your thoughts!

[erensproudsimp]

Rivalry

Jean kirstein x Eren Jeager x reader

⚠ Sexual Content Ahead ⚠

Summary: Threesome with Eren and Jean in the middle of a party? Hell yeah.

Word count: 2.4k

"So, how do I look?" coming from the bathroom you asked your roommate about your outfit.

"YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY STUNNING Y/N!This little black dress really brings out your curves, " Hitch squealed.

"Aww Thank you bestie! When are you getting dressed?" you questioned looking for your black heels.

"I was just about to, I bet this party is going to be the best ever organized this year," Hitch excitedly said.

"Right? Heard that almost all students are going, I feel like it's going to be crazy and moreover it's organized by Jean,"you added while wearing your jewelries.

Hitch came out in a sexy red sleeveless dress which suited her perfectly.

" Oh. my. god. Marry me right now, what did I do to deserve such a pretty best friend, "you flattered her wiping fake tears from your eye.

" Says the girl who's going to take all the boys' breaths and by boys I specifically mean Eren and Jean, "she replied eyeing you from head to toe.

"Sheesh Hitch, you know that I'm not interested in them right?" you said arms crossed.

"I don't know y/n, that little blush is saying something else. So who are you going to choose among them?" Hitch teased.

"I'm pretty both of them asked me out due to their rivalry with each other but I have no interest in helping either win," you said with a sigh.

"I mean you may never know that they actually do have feelings for you, I remember seeing Jean stare at you during class," she explained wearing her makeup. Smacking her lips to spread the lipstick, she turned to look at you, "At least give one of them a chance? Like two of the hottest guys on the campus asked you out, think about it y/n," she suggested.

"They were already my best friends but maybe until tonight I'll try to make a decision but for now let's go enjoy okay?" you beamed.

"Let's go impress some bitches, have some liquor, spit on our haters and have the best night of our life," flicking your hair back you left the dorm with Hitch agreeing with you.

Parking your car, you got out to admire the grandiose building belonging to Jean in sight. Muffled music could be heard through the walls.

"Maybe I should give Jean the chance," you said.

"Haha yes girl get that bag," Hitch giggled dragging you inside.

Laughter, people making out on the dancefloor, a background scent of sweat mixed with booze, you finally saw your friends near the bar counter. Conversations stopped the second everyone noticed me and Hitch's entry.

" All eyes on me in the centre of the ring just like a circus," you sang in her ear as she smirked.

Walking proudly to radiate your confidence, both of you went to the bar, the crowd going back to their initial interaction.

"Hey guys!" you shouted throwing yourself on Sasha.

"Welo," Connie replied with a drink in his hand.

"Where are the others?" Hitch asked them.

"Mikasa, Armin and Eren haven't arrived yet and Jean is ensuring everything is in control," Ymir answered hugging Historia close to her.

Ordering a glass of wine from the bartender, you sipped said drink while chatting with your friends. Right at that moment the trio entered through the door.

" Look they came,"Historia pointed at them.

" Hello everyone, where's Jean? "Armin asked.

You looked at Eren taking in how he was looking so attractive in an all black outfit. However, he did not once glance in your direction making you assume it was because you haven't yet given him an answer.

" There he is,"Mikasa said as the man in question neared the group.

" Is everyone having fun? "Jean enquired leaning on the counter.

His stance screamed dominance but in such a subtle way it was sensual. You tried to meet his eye but he didn't acknowledge your presence too. Well, it was what you were supposing to be as in in contrary both of them were enraptured with your appearance they couldn't bring themselves to look at you.

"I'm going to the dancefloor," you announced frustrated by the lack of attention you got from the two men after finishing your third drink.

Pushing your way in, moving to the music you tried to take off your mind off having to choose someone between them. A stranger came up to you to ask if they could dance with you. With no hesitation noticing how handsome he was, you let him hold you in his arms as a distraction.

"Not gonna lie, I'm gonna be shocked if she doesn't hook up with someone tonight, like look at her man," Hitch commented hoping to push either Eren or Jean to approach you.

"Right? She honestly looks so hot," Sasha added understanding what she was trying to do.

Like they hoped, the tactic worked as both men stood up together. They looked in each other's eye as though communicating telepathically passing one message and it was to not let anyone come near to you.

Heading into the crowd to find you, Hitch and Sasha high fived leaving everyone else in the unknown.

Searching all round, they at last found you dancing with a random guy, your body all over him. There was a cold fury in their eyes and Eren pursued his lips in anger. He went up to the guy and gave him a death stare. The stranger felt his blood drain from his face into his gut as he abruptly left you.

At first you were puzzled at why the guy just disappeared until you saw Jean and Eren and understood the situation.

"Mind if I dance with you?" Eren asked holding his hand out.

"May I too?" Jean rushed in not to let Eren take the sole lead.

Taking both hands smilingly you replied, "Yes, you both may."

Jean twisted you in his arms pressing your ass against his hips as Eren held your waist in his hands your chest against his, both guys grinding on you.

Eren leaned in and hid his face in the crook of your neck. You tilted your head to give him more access to the area as he licked his tongue over your so sensitive skin.

Jean feeling a bit left out took a glass of wine from a passing waiter grabbed your soft flocks in his hand and pulled it slowly to not hurt you. Your head was placed on his shoulder as Eren continued to nibble on your neck.

"Open your mouth," Jean ordered you his lips brushing your ear and you obeyed without arguing.

He then poured the wine from the glass into your mouth. Moaning through the process, the liquid coursed from your throat into your stomach spreading its warmth all over. Jean still grinding on you pushed his hips forward for you to feel his growing bulge.

Rhythmically swaying your body to the beats of the music playing, you brushed your ass to Jean's bulge and hips against Eren's. Being sandwiched between them was like a dream come true.

Eren's hands slid up and down your arms, head intact on your neck. Jean was not doing any lesser either as he bent over to reach the other side of your neck, his hot breath ruffling and began showering it with kisses.

Grabbing your chin to lift it up, Eren pressed his soft lips on yours tasting the alcohol from your mouth.

"Hey- that's not fair," Jean snatched you from Eren, threw your body on his shoulder and slapped your ass to carry you away. Shortly Eren followed, "Give her back to me!"

Jean made you sit on a bed gently, kissed you lightly on your cheek then went to close the door of the room but Eren busted in right before he could.

"Oh you're not having her all to you, not until I'm still alive," Eren stated.

"Fuck you Eren, I'm not going to let you have her either you know," Jean cursed him.

At this point you didn't know what to say as anticipation filled your being so you just allowed everything happen by itself.

Before Jean could do anything, Eren rushed to you, pulled you in his arms made out with you in front of him to make him jealous which of course worked.

" Jeager!" Jean shouted approaching you both.

Eren's tongue was roaming in all corners of your mouth to explore them, a small moan leaving your throat.

Both guys froze hearing that.

"Eren, move I want to be the one to make her create those cute sounds," Jean pushed Eren to replace his mouth on you.

Jean was more passionate than Eren, probably because of the jealousy he was feeling.

"How about we hear what y/n has to say?" Eren suggested.

"Yeah y/n, make a decision, it's either Eren or me," Jean continued.

"I-, guys trust me I've been thinking about this and honestly speaking, for me it's either both of you or no one. Don't get me wrong you're both equally amazing and handsome so choosing one is just unfair. I love you both but I'm not going to choose one I'm sorry. Moreover, I don't want to fuel the rivalry between you two," looking at the floor you replied. You thought that this would make them feel disappointed but in reality it was the contrary

" Y/n..,"Jean hugged you so did Eren from the back.

" I'm glad you didn't choose to reject one of us, "Eren whispered in your ear.

" Yeah I'm so pleased too, "Jean agreed lifting your chin to kiss the bottom of your neck.

" And don't appogise y/n, you're not at fault here, we are for asking you out because of our competition so let us make up for it, "Eren's voice holding the promise of sex.

His hands unzipped your dress pealing it off you to leave you in your black lace underwear. Both Jean and Eren's face went scarlet red on seeing you in this state.

From the back Eren's big, warm hands reached out to cup your boobs while nibbling on your shoulder. In front Jean knelt down on you to kiss you on your stomach as his hands were caressing your curves.

Taking Eren's face in one hand, you stroked his face with your thumb, the other hand in Jean's hair playing with it.

"Can I?" Jean asked indicating to the removal of your undergarment.

"By all means, do whatever you wish," you gave both consent.

Seizing this opportunity Eren unhooked your bra and let it fall to the ground.

"You're so beautiful y/n," Jean gasped.

Your body chose that moment to shiver.

Not being able to control it anymore Eren lifted you in bridal style dropping you lightly on the bed. Ripping his shirt of his toned body, your eyes were locked on his abbs. Jean lost no time in taking his off too.

You were mesmerised. Those men were built like fantasies, their chest sculptured with the honed muscles of a god.

"Come here."

To your astonishment they obeyed sitting on each of your sides.

"What do you want us to do angel?" Jean asked with such adoration in his eyes.

"Tell us your deepest desires, we will make it a reality," placing his hand over your thighs Eren encouraged you.

"Use me as your plaything."

This one simple request was enough to send them off the edge.

"As you wish m'lady," Jean replied before kneeling in front of you.

More kisses along your neck by Eren while Jean split your legs to bury his face in between. You sucked in a deep breath.

Trailing his tongue on your inner thighs up to your soaked folds, Jean teased you.

Taking your mouth into a fiery kiss, sucking on your lower lip, Eren fondled your boobs. Sticking your tongue out to ask for permission he took it in without a second thought.

"Hmmm ah-," you panted on his mouth as Jean kissed your core, giving it a tender lick. Grabbing your hips to forbid you to move, he inserted his tongue in and out of you while rubbing your clit with his fingers. Pure heaven.

"You like that huh?"

You threw your head back at his words humming a yes, Eren proceeding to move from your neck to your collarbones to mark himself on your skin. A slight pain overcoming with pleasure sent chills down your spine.

"Jeaaann- ah- Ereenn," you screamed their names turning them on more.

Shortly after your stomach clenched as you came on Jean's face.

"You taste so good y/n," he said licking his lips.

"Now's my turn," Eren declared unbuckling his pants topping you.

"You okay with this right?" he asked concernedly caressing your cheek. You nodded and looked over to Jean signaling him to come over your head.

Slowly penetrating his dick into your cunt, you stifled a moan as you were helping Jean take off his trousers, his hardened member sprung free from its trap.

As Eren was thrusting his hips in you moaning your name, you were jerking Jean off with your hand, him panting loudly.

"Y/n go faster please," Jean whined.

Spreading his precum oozing from the tip, your fingers stroked it down the shaft.

"Forgive me for what im about to do y/n," the unbearable thirst pushed Jean to shove his swollen dick into your mouth. You muffled a moan at his action willingly taking it. Moving your wet muscle inside your mouth, you sucked him.

"Fuck y/n you feel so good tightly wrapped around me," Eren breathed picking up speed. Your breath stuck in your lungs, your eyes rolled back.

Two handsome men fucking you senselessly, you couldn't be in any more bliss.

"Good girl," Jean petted your hair as you swallowed every drop of him. Collapsing next to you, he was gradually grasping his breath.

On the other hand, Eren was still going pushing and pulling into you and from you.

"Go ahead, cum for me y/n."

Your legs were practically shaking as you came a second time over him. Realising he was reaching his limit, he pulled out and released his hot fluid on your belly.

Out of breath, he fell onto you as you hugged him. Ruffling Jean's hair you tried to wake him up.

"Jean we have a party remember? now wake up, you don't want people thrashing your house. You too Eren, Mikasa must be worried sick by now with your absence," you advised both only for your words to fall on deaf ears.

Sighing you stayed still to enjoy their warmth a little more.

Just a little more.

End.

Thank you for reading this. :)

[gwynrielendgame]

Gwyncien part 2

Do not fret there is also a bit of gwynriel in this too. I’ll be tagging people who asked for this specific part 2 below.

Lucien hated coming to the night courts winter solstice celebrations. The sole reason he went every year was because of Feyre's birthday, contrary to popular belief that it was to see his mate. He much preferred to avoid his mate instead of sit in a room with her and the Shadowsinger. But he suffered through it for his friend, potentially his only true friend. She had been better to Lucien than he ever had to her, so in a way he was trying to earn her forgiveness- even if she claimed to have already given it. He secretly hoped to see Gwyneth Berdara again this year. She was beautiful- much like he remembered her mother looking. However, he truly just liked talking to her, to someone who understood the pain of a disinterested mate. It was a nice perk that it also seemed to enrage the one male to have caught his own mate's attention. He felt a bit smug about that if he was honest with himself. His three gifts were tucked neatly at his side as he stared up at the mansion. Feyre created a beautiful house. He should not have expected anything less given her paintings. He needed a moment to gather his bearings after winnowing directly to the river house. He would stay for an acceptable amount of time, or at least enough time to make Feyre happy, and then he would depart. It always made his skin crawl to be around Elain, simply because he knew it displeased her. He could do this though-for Feyre.

"Are you going in? Or do you plan to stare at the door a little longer?" A giggle escaped from the female behind him. He turned quickly only to let out a breathy chuckle himself.

"Did you want a turn staring at it? We could do it together. Might make the evening more bearable somehow." Lucien sent the copper haired female a half grin which she returned with one of her own.

"You caught me. I was hoping to have my turn to avoid going in as long as possible, but alas it appears I may need to share." Gwyn gave a long sigh as if she were exasperated by the situation. The easy banter between the two started to loosen the knot that had formed in Lucien's chest.

"It's lovely to see you once more, priestess. You look beautiful." And she did. The last time he had seen her, she was wearing her priestess robes. This time around she wore a loose black dress. Her hair was mostly down with some braids keeping it out of her face and a dainty necklace around her neck. Some might say she looked rather plain. Lucien knew better than that. For her, this was a big step. To be dressed at a celebration in anything other than her robes had to be stressful. A magnificent smile lit up her face.

"You look rather handsome yourself. I was actually hoping to see you tonight. I wanted to discuss a few things." She looked around as though someone might be eavesdropping. "Not right now though." He had a feeling he knew what she wanted to discuss.

"My ears are yours whenever you need them." Lucien then offered his arm to her. She slipped her hand through the crook as they made their way through the door. The night suddenly seemed less daunting. He could face Elain and Azriel tonight without his emotions getting the better of him. Gwyneth would keep him busy that much he knew and was thankful for the unspoken deal they seemed to have made. They would stay by each other's side tonight if only because most of the night court's inner circle had paired off. Rhysand never truly left Feyre's side, Varian is the only one to actually enjoy Amren's company, Cassian and Nesta disappeared to have sex rather frequently, Emerie and Mor spoke in hushed whispers to each other most evenings Lucien attended, and most unfortunately Azriel and Elain never really left each other's side these days. Lucien normally felt like the odd one out, but without Gwyneth it would have been painfully obvious.

+++

The night had been rather overwhelming for Gwyn. She had been around the inner circle a handful of times most recently, but having so many dynamics in one living room felt stifling to her. Nesta's relationship with her sister's was still rocky at best, Amren usually said something to piss someone off, Azriel and Elain being around appeared to make everyone uncomfortable, and apparently Gwyn and Lucien being friends seemed to make the group just as uncomfortable. Gwyn could not figure out why. If perhaps the irony of the situation was too great or if Lucien's background had something to do with it. Whatever the reason, almost everyone tonight side-eyed Gwyn as she sat with Lucien. She knew Elain and Azriel thought she was doing it just to piss them off. Gwyn just truly enjoyed Lucien's company. He was easy-going and made many jokes. When Gwyn was not engrossed in conversation with Nesta or Emerie, she was joking with the one-eyed male. If only he had been her mate she had thought to herself.

"Present time!" Mor exclaimed from her spot on the couch next to Emerie. Gwyn felt herself becoming red- she had not realized that gifts were exchanged here. She had already exchanged gifts with Nesta and Emerie (a song for Nesta that was recorded on her music box from Cassian and a particularly steamy book for Emerie that included two female leads). She felt overwhelmed as everyone started setting gifts beside her. While Gwyn felt ready to leave the House of Wind, she had not managed to venture the streets of Velaris. She could have asked the House for gifts for everyone, but truly she did not even think anyone would get her something. The most surprising to her was when Lucien plopped a gift on her lap. She could not hide her shock.

"I am sorry. I did not get you anything." She felt ashamed and refused to look up from her hands as she addressed everyone. "I did not realize you all exchanged gifts. I am sorry." She repeated.

"We did not expect you too." Feyre sent her a small smile. "We got you something because we wanted too, not because we wanted something from you." The tension eased the slightest bit. That did not stop the red from flaming her face.

"I expected a gift." Lucien announced loudly. It had Gwyn cringing. "I demand you play us a song." Lucien was sending her a grin that released the rest of the tension in her chest. Azriel shot the pair an icy stare, not necessarily a glare, but close enough.

"Yes!" Nesta shouted after him, clearly having one too many sips of wine. Gwyn could not hold back her giggle. "You have to sing for us. Your voice is beautiful."

Gwyn could feel Azriel's stare from across the room. It had shifted into a less hostile look. It did not appear as though he was trying to hide his interest though. A conversation between the two suddenly popped into her head.

Do you, though? Sing?

Yes.

She wished now more than ever to hear him sing. She wanted to sing with him, but was not willing to put herself out there in front of everyone. He would likely say no and then she would have to scrape any piece of humility she had left to sing alone after rejection. She would not ask Azriel to sing with her- this time. She hesitantly sat at the piano, Nyx sitting by her feet watching intently. As soon as she started playing the toddler laughed and clapped his hands. It gave her the confidence to keep going. She sang one of the many songs she had memorized. There was really nothing special about it, but she felt alive especially with the way Azriel was staring at her. She could almost feel his shadows slipping towards her. She missed them. Actually, she missed everything about Azriel. Before the whole mating bond/Elain situation, they had been friends. He was one of her closest friends and she felt as though she lost that. It was not only her fault. He also felt uncomfortable being her friend now. It made her sad so she decided not to think on it anymore. She finished her song which resulted in a round of applause from everyone.

"Beautiful!" Emerie cheered with a wide smile on her face. Gwyn looked to Lucien who was smiling ear to ear which was rare for the male who only seemed to give half grins and sarcastic smiles. She finally looked at Azriel, who unfortunately was not sporting a smile, instead a rather intense look took over his face. A shadow reached out to caress her hand. It was so quick she questioned whether it even happened. No one else seemed to register it. After that, everyone continued to open their presents. She received a painting from Feyre of Gwyn cutting the ribbon for the first time. It honestly had the female tearing up. Cassian got her new Illyrian leathers that fit her much better while Mor bought her a butterfly knife which was a much better improvement from her birthday where she gave Gwyn a shampoo that never lost its smell. While everyone was distracted opening gifts, Gwyn decided now would be the best time to talk with Lucien, who had gotten her earrings the same color as her eyes. She signaled the male to follow her to the kitchen. They were surprisingly given little attention as they made their departure.

"I was thinking about your invitation," she started off. She leaned against the counter top with her arms folded in front of her. "I was thinking I could leave with you, and if you are willing, you could help me gather some intel with the band of exiles." Lucien seemed to mull it over as he stood next to her, their shoulders almost touching. He leaned against the counter tops as well while running a hand over his jaw. Gwyn waited with bated breathe.

"When?" Was all he answered. She could not read how he was feeling about the situation which had her feeling even more nervous.

"Uh, tonight?" It sounded like a question even to her ears. She figured she would never fully know when she was ready to leave until she actually tried it. Worse comes to worse and Lucien could just winnow her back to Velaris. No harm done.

"Have you told anyone of this?" He asked quietly.

"No. They wouldn't understand.” They probably would understand, but they would most likely try to stop her. She did not want that.

"You have to tell someone." He glanced at her before turning his body to be completely facing her with one hand on the counter.

"Why?"

"So they don’t think I kidnapped you." She found it hard to believe that anyone other than Nesta and potentially Azriel would think Lucien kidnapped her. Best to not have them looking for her though.

“Oh right. I’ll leave a note for Nesta and Emerie to find after we have left.” She did not particularly want to leave her sisters, but she needed to finish what was started in Sangravah. She could not possibly travel a world where any of those Hybern soldiers still lived. A goodbye note might convince herself to stay, but having Lucien here made it less likely for her to cower.

“Okay. We shall leave tonight. Gather whatever you want to take and I will winnow us away after.” He already started to walk away.

"Thank yo-" she began to say when a shadow darted into the kitchen. She immediately stopped speaking. She should have known he would be listening in.

"Mind if I steal Gwyn for a moment?" Azriel cut in, looking quickly between the two with narrowed eyes as if he was suspicious of the pair.

"Sure." Lucien drawled with a roll of his eyes. “I will see you later, Gwyneth.” He gave her a meaningful look and then he was confidently strolling back into the living room.

"Hey." Gwyn finally started the conversation after a few uncomfortable minutes of Azriel just staring at her.

"Hey." An awkward silence ensued after that. It left Gwyn confused. She thought he came in here to discuss something specific. She took the time to truly analyze him. She always thought he was beautiful, classically attractive like Elain. It made them quite the couple. She wished he wasn’t so handsome, it made their situation much more difficult for her. Perhaps if he was less attractive she could ignore the mate bond, she thought wryly. He looked tired, per usual, dark circles were more pronounced under his eyes which looked sadder than normal. He was tense as if he was preparing for a fight which made no sense to her. They had never truly fought, physically or verbally. She was just about to ask him what was wrong when he finally spoke up.

"What were you two talking about?" The question had Gwyn smiling wryly. As if his shadows hadn’t told him.

"Nothing." She refused to tell him even if he already knew. For some reason she felt if she told him, he would be upset with her. Another awkward silence lapsed.

"So I figured I could give you your gift now." Azriel glanced down at the small package in his hand that Gwyn only just noticed. His shadows were swirling all around him, exposing his cool composure for what it really was.

"I didn't get you anything." She only felt slightly guilty considering he was in an open relationship with the third Archeron sister while also being mated to her. She kept her eyes firmly planted on her own hands which were clasped tightly together in front of her.

"I don't deserve anything from you anyways." She hated hearing that from him. Even if he was being a royal asshole, she truly believed he deserved the world. Azriel shifted on his feet uncomfortably. He ran a hand through his hair roughly before shoving the package towards her, stepping closer to her than he had been in awhile.

"Not true." She muttered as she delicately unwrapped the package. It was beautifully wrapped and part of her wanted to ask if he had Elain wrap it. Once opened, she spent a few minutes just staring at it. She was not quite sure how to respond to this.

"I know you said it does not bother you that your necklace was originally meant for Elain, but I wanted to give you one that was and will only be for you." There was a dozen or so stars in some sort of collection. She assumed it was a constellation but she did not know which one. It was beautiful she could admit, and knowing how much he enjoyed star gazing made her feel much closer to him than she should given his current relationship status. It felt almost inappropriate to accept, but she knew she could not deny him.

“What is it?”

“The constellation Andromeda.” He said so quietly it was almost a whisper. She was trying to remember if he had ever mentioned this one before but she honestly could not think of any reason why he might pick this specific constellation over another.

“Why this one?” She did not want to give him any reason to believe she cared as much as she did, however, curiosity was eating her alive.

“Her name means ruler of men.” Her heart squeezed. How unfair, she thought. He was allowed to give such a thoughtful gift, but she could not truly tell him how she felt about their current predicament.

"Thank you. It's beautiful." She wanted to say so much more, but was feeling tongue tied.

"Just like you." Was his immediate response. He said it almost like it was a reflex but it only upset her. Elain was in the next room over and he was sweet talking her.

"You cannot say that." She muttered a bit flustered.

"Sorry." He glanced down, appearing to notice how slim the space between them actually was. She felt suffocated by how close he was. The bond was yelling at her to touch him. His shadows seemed to want the same thing.

“Do not apologize. It just makes it harder for me when you say those things.” She realized this was the first time she had been alone with Azriel in a long time. She also realized she would not see him for a long time when she left with Lucien. It made her sad. These are the excuses she used to justify her next actions. She swears she never would have done this if she was not planning on leaving with Lucien tonight. Consequences be damned she thought. She quickly grabbed his face in her hands and brought her lips to his.

For the first time since the bond snapped into place, Gwyn felt tension ease from her shoulders. He was hesitant for only a second, letting out a groan and then they were off to the races. It’s as if they both knew this would be the last time they would get to do this. The kiss was rushed and heavy, passionate and wild. It was more than Gwyn could have ever dreamed. His hands were everywhere. Her hair, her face, her waist, and even lower. Gwyn let out a squeak when one of Azriel’s hands squeezed her backside. It did nothing to slow down the kiss, however. He was everywhere, even his shadows were caressing her. Her hands were not much better. They ran through his hair, tugging at the soft strands. Slowly, they traveled down- over his shoulders, finally resting on his waist to pull him even closer. There was much more tongue than Gwyn imagined. It surprised her even more at how much she liked it. How much further she would be willing to take it if they were alone. It was only when Azriel moved to work on her neck that she realized how much further their kiss went than the small peck she was expecting. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she pushed him stumbling back a few steps herself.

“I wanted to do that at least once. Sorry.” She felt the need to explain herself given that she practically just mauled him. His shadows were surprisingly calm for once, though his face was flushed bright red. It almost made her want to laugh at the idea that she made the Shadowsinger blush.

“Gwyn-“ he began but she did not want to hear anything he had to say, even if that was not quite fair.

“See you in training.” She tossed over her shoulder before fleeing quickly from the kitchen.

Fuck was the only thought pounding through her head.

[moonbeam-writing]

“Are they dating now?”

๑ Requested by @aquariarose ๑ Quick Note: I am so, so sorry this one took so long, love. I literally cannot apologize enough, the day just got away from me. However, I really, really hope you like it. I worked really hard on it and I hope you enjoy reading! Thank you for the request, lovely! ๑ Characters: Miya twins, Akaashi, Kita, Suna, and Hinata! ๑ Warnings: None!

๑ Atsumu:

- You were hoping to keep it on the down low, at least in front of your brother, which kind of posed a few challenges, considering you all went to the same school and your boyfriend and brother are on the same volleyball team.

- You were related to the one and only Aran Ojiro, He literally adores you and will do anything to protect you. 10/10 such a good brother, you’re partners in crime. Not that you really get up to much.

- Truth be told, when it was out and the open, at least to the team, it was a total accident and neither of you really thought anything of it. Until the kiss broke that is.

Just like every other day there was practice, you made your way down to the gym, smiling at the boys and making small talk with them and your brother before practice officially started. At some point during the conversation, Atsumu had put his arm around you and you leaned into him, which wasn’t anything new and quite comfortable for both of you. You guys had always been close, so no one really questioned it.

Practice went on as it normally had, and by the end of it, you went to go say goodbye to Atsumu as you always did, only it was different of course. This time, absolutely with the purpose to embarrass you a bit, Atsumu pulled you into a kiss before you left. Your face was incredibly red as the guys started off with their teasing remarks in the background, though one stood out; “Are they dating now?”

You pull back with a small smile and a puff of air out your nose in a way that screams “this might as well happen.” Atsumu just smiles innocently at you, only slightly feeling bad knowing you’re going to have to do quite a bit of explaining on your way home. 

“Have a good walk home, babe.” He winks.

๑ Osamu:

- This one was 100% an honest-to-god accident.

- You were both planning on keeping it a secret for a bit, just in case it turned out to be a bad idea and you were meant to just be friends.

- But then you were getting to school with your brother Suna and you ran into Osamu and Atsumu. 

As soon as the four of you came in close enough of a proximity to each other, Atsumu seemed to have a million questions for Suna, leaving you and Osamu to stand on the sidelines. You weren’t sure whether or not to feel a bit awkward, given the last time you saw each other you may or may not have been two steps away from making out had you not heard the gym doors open to someone coming in. That was this earlier that morning after morning practice. So much for being careful.

You and Osamu had been making comfortable small talk while your brothers were talking themselves. You were all soft smiles and bright eyes and he just thought you were the cutest little thing in that moment (even though you always are). Without even really thinking about it, he gently pulled you in for a kiss, catching the immediate attention of your siblings. Atsumu was laughing, he already knew, Suna on the other hand, was wide-eyed and so unsuspecting. Didn’t stop him from pulling slightly on your shoulder to stand closer to him.

“Are you dating or just screwing around?”

“Dating.” You answered, tone a bit wobbly from embarrassment. You felt like a kid who was caught doing something they shouldn’t have. “Sorry for not telling you, Suna.” You were happy it was off your chest though. You never liked keeping things from him.

“Don’t hurt her, yeah?” 

“Of course not.”

๑ Akaashi:

- This one wasn’t accidental.

- Neither of you really cared about whether or not people knew you were dating, and just weren’t too big on PDA to begin with, and had always been good friends, so if anyone still thought the two of you were just friends, then you weren’t surprised.

- To everyone aside from the two of you, things just seemed to go on as they always had. Behind closed doors you were both a bit more touchy, though. Not anything weird, but you’d be sitting on yours or the other’s bed and leaning against each other while you read or watched a movie or something.

- Really, just wholesome stuff.

This time the two of you were hanging out, you were at your place. No one was home, including your brother Konoha. You were both wrapped in a blanket watching a movie when you turned to kiss his cheek. He seemed to have the same idea as he turned his head as well. Classic cliché happenstance, but perfect when you happen to be dating a bookworm.

The kiss lasted longer than either of you had anticipated it would, but it was all kept soft. What you had both failed to realize though was that your brother had gotten home.

Upon not hearing anything from you, he assumed that you must have had music on in your room or something, he went to go let you know that he was back. However he didn’t expect to see you kissing his teammate when he opened your bedroom door. He immediately cleared his throat.

“Akaashi. (Y/N).” To say that you were both terribly embarrassed was a complete understatement.

“Konoha, you’re home! Hi.” By this point, you and Keiji had put some space between the two of you as though you had been caught doing something much worse. In reality though, it was just a soft, harmless kiss.

“Yeah, I am. Not going to lie, when you said that you guys were hanging out here today, I didn’t expect you to be making out.”

“Ko, we weren’t-”

“I take it you’re both dating?” Neither of you manage to find the words to confirm his thoughts, so you both just nod. Konoha just sighs. “At least it’s you. Better than a lot of people we’ve met. Don’t hurt her, (Y/N), door cracked from now on when he’s over, yeah?” You nod, still unable to fully process what happened.

๑ Kita:

- You’re a Miya, which makes things a bit interesting. There isn’t just one brother to worry about, but two! Such fun times. especially when one of them is Atsumu, never mind the fact that they’re both protective over you. You’re the youngest triplet after all.

- Despite it not exactly being ideal or easy to hide it from your brothers, that’s exactly what the two of you did. Your reasoning was a bit different, however it’s what you both thought was best.

- You weren’t quite sure how to tell your brothers that you had a boyfriend, let alone their team’s captain who would be graduating that year. You were horrified that they wouldn’t be okay with it. The thought just didn’t sit well with you.

- Kita, on the other hand, just didn’t want to complicate things or make anything awkward or uncomfortable for anyone if something were to happen, whether it be a fight, someone accidentally walking in on you guys having a moment, or unfortunately not working out. Not that he wanted any of that to happen, of course.

- Either way, it was a mutual agreement.

The way your brothers found out wasn’t exactly something either of you wanted to happen, but of course, the universe just loves to mess with people.

Things escalated rather quickly to say the least. You had been helping him put stuff away in the gym and told your brothers that they could go out and you’d catch up in a minute. That was genuinely your intention: to help your boy put stuff away, maybe steal a quick peck on the lips and head home with your brothers.

Kita decided he would use this opportunity to get some alone time with you. Once things were squared away in the storage room, you definitely got your kiss, though it was a bit more heated than you originally planned.

Your little session was family friendly in regards to there wasn’t a lot of touching and clothes were staying on, however time went on and you had both been in there far longer than you expected to be. As in, your brothers got worried about you, so they came back into the gym to look for you, heading to the storage room. Horrified was an understatement. 

Before either of your brothers could even say anything to either of you, you practically spewed out an apology, telling them both how sorry you were and that you were scared of their reaction and how much they mean to you. Once you were done, Kita used the fact that your brothers were speechless for once as an opportunity to speak his piece.

“Look, I really like your sister, and I’m not going to do anything to hurt her. I care about (Y/N) a lot and don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.”

They threatened their captain, but the situation as a whole was actually a lot better than you could have hoped it would be.

๑ Suna:

- Neither of you really had a second thought about people’s reactions to you guys dating.

- The general view of the people around you literally didn’t even cross your guy’s minds. You were happy together and weren’t gross with PDA, so who cared?

- That doesn’t mean you had made any effort to tell people about it, whether they asked about it or not, but you were almost adamant that Kita wasn’t allowed to know. He’d always been super protective of you and you had no clue how to break the news. Luckily, Suna understood where you were coming from, and even more so, respected your wishes.

You were excited to say the least. The team had been gone all week for a training camp somewhere and they had gotten back the night before. You were thrilled your other brother was back, of course, but you couldn’t wait to see Suna. You had missed him so much and he missed you too, possibly even more than you. He missed sneaking into your bedroom when he knew Kita was home, missed being in your arms and the mutual forehead kisses. He was practically bursting at the seams with excitement at getting to see you (not that anyone could really tell).

The next day you walked into the gym for an afternoon practice with the brightest and happiest possible vibe as you walked across campus. Finally making it into the gym, you had to brace yourself. After a week you found yourself growing shockingly touch starved, at least, when it came to affection from Suna. That being said, that’s the only thought that your mind currently had. No thoughts about whether or not others were in the gym occurred. As far as you were concerned, it was just Suna, and he was all you wanted.

As soon as you found yourself able to open the doors, you pulled them wide open, practically sprinting across the gym to where Suna was, paying no one else any mind.

Lucky for both of you, he definitely heard the door open, meaning he had enough reaction time to hold his arms put and catch you. And catch you he did. Your arms were around his neck while he was supporting your legs wrapped around his waist. Your lips pressed urgently against his as though you hadn’t seen him in months. I suppose that’s just what happens when you don’t get to see someone you normally see everyday.

Everyone was shocked, to say the absolute least. The look on your brother's face was absolutely incredulous though. Eyes widened and absolutely dumbstruck.

What the hell is going on here and what am I missing?

At this point, Suna was simply holding you. Finding comfort in the fact that you were so happy to see him. Even though you both should have came to your senses awhile ago, something just didn't click, the two of you still focusing solely on each other.

That is until a throat is cleared. “So you two are dating now? Fine. However you have a lot of explaining to do on the way home, (Y/N).”

๑ Hinata:

- This little ray of sunshine! He's literally always so excited to see you!

- However Tsukki's your brother, which makes things a bit complicated.

- Despite still being a bit closed off, you were his favorite person in the world.

- Hinata, on the other hand, was lucky to even be acknowledged as a teammate or acquaintance. Not even for any reason that wasn't Tsukki just being difficult.

“(Y/N)!!!” The loud exclamation of your name being called nearly made you jump out of your seat. Even though you knew who the voice belonged to, the shout was still something you didn't quite expect.

Your brother rolled his eyes from his seat across from you, his facial expression telling you just how pleased he was with this situation, how ever he was able to tolerate the bubbly boy a lot more than he let on. Everyone warmed up to Hinata at least a little, after all. How could they not?

“Shouyo, hey!” You smiled at him as he sat down, immediately and successfully going in for a kiss. The kiss ended as soon as it came and Hinata quickly realized his mistake. This poor boy.

“What on Earth do you think you’re doing kissing my sister?” The monotone in Kei’s voice was horrifying.

“I’m her boyfriend. . .? I got excited to see her. . .?” Hinata was obviously hoping one of those was the right answer. He knew that wasn’t the case though. He was screwed.

(I’m so sorry this is so late, darling!!)

[sisterspooky1013]

As Ethan Sees It

Author:SisterSpooky1013

Rating: Mature

Words: 3698

Read it on AO3 Here

Tagging @today-in-fic

The first thing I’d noticed about her was how self-assured she was, particularly in contrast to her diminutive stature. I’d been grabbing lunch at a local deli between classes and some high school kids were picking on a third boy who may have been a classmate. Everyone in line was just ignoring it, looking away, when this tiny redhead steps out of line and walks up to the tallest, bulkiest guy in the group and tells him to fuck off, in so many words. She barely reached his shoulder and was probably 100lbs soaking wet, but she had no problem standing up for the little guy. After I picked up my order, I noticed her sitting alone at a table near the window and asked if I could join her. She was hesitant, but agreed and listened politely while I told her how impressed I was by her bravado with those kids. That’s when I noticed the second thing about her; her incredible smile. It was like the first burst of sunlight over the horizon in the morning, blinding in its beauty. I introduced myself and learned that her name was Dana, and she had just moved to DC to accept a job with the FBI. We talked for so long I missed my class, but I didn’t care. I was fascinated by her. Aside from being strikingly beautiful with rich auburn hair and porcelain skin, her blue eyes some intoxicating shade of blue I had never seen before, she was also wickedly smart. She seemed to know about everything, any topic that came up she could speak to, and I learned more during that 90 minute conversation than I probably would have if I’d made it to class. She was a doctor, and a scientist, and even the way her voice sounded was enchanting to me, the S’s softly sibilant as they poured from her pouty pink lips. She had realized the time and stood suddenly to leave, and I was so flustered by our impromptu date ending so abruptly that I stupidly forgot to get her phone number. The sinking feeling in my gut when I realized this fact, right about the time her cab disappeared into a sea of other cabs, still ranks as one of the worst moments of my life.

I thought about her every single day for two weeks. I talked about her every single day for two weeks, until my roommates begged me to either figure out a way to get in touch with her, or shut the hell up. All I knew about her was her first name, that she had recently graduated from Stanford, and that she works at the FBI. First I tried calling the FBI and asking for Dana, but they had more than one Dana who worked there and were unwilling to let me try them one by one. Next I contacted Stanford and was able to have a list of the last two classes of graduates faxed to me. Thankfully, there was only one Dana on that list; Dana Scully. I called back to FBI headquarters and asked for Dana Scully, and the next thing I knew she was on the line, her sing-song voice saying “This is Dana Scully.” My mouth went dry, I forgot how to speak, how to breathe.

“Uh, um, hi, hello.”

“…Who is this?” Her tone was the one I’d heard her use with the high school bullies

“Uh, this is Ethan? From the deli, a couple weeks ago?”

“Ethan from the deli? The guy who’s getting his masters in journalism?”

“Yep, that’s the one.”

“Oh! Hi! How…how did you get this number?”

“Well, I hope this isn’t too weird but I forgot to ask for your number and I remembered you said you worked at the FBI, so I kind of tracked you down.”

“Oh. That’s kind of sweet.”

I let out huge breath of relief.

“I’d really like to see you again, if you’re interested. It’s alright if not, I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least ask.”

She was quiet for a moment but he had a feeling she was smiling.

“I’d love to, Ethan. Do you have something to write with? I’ll give you my number.”

**********************************

The first real date we had, I took her to a fancy Italian place that my buddies said was sufficiently romantic. She let me pick her up at her apartment in Georgetown and when she answered the door, I nearly passed out. She had on a strapless blue cocktail dress and tall black heels, her hair down and soft around her face. Her lips were red and plump and I wanted to kiss her right then, but I knew it was too soon. I held doors for her and watched closely for her reaction, unsure if she was the kind of woman who found chivalry insulting, but she seemed to appreciate it. She was so petite and delicate, like a beautiful bird, but also had this incredible air of confidence that made her so captivating. I was careful not to outright stare at her, so I didn’t make her uncomfortable. She told me more about herself as we ate, what she had studied in school and the things she was doing now at the FBI academy, working in forensics. She asked me about my school and my plans for after graduation, and she really listened when I talked, asking thoughtful questions and wanting to learn more about journalism and broadcasting, so eager to know as much as possible about everything she could. I told some stupid joke, and she laughed, and I think that’s when I fell in love with her. That laugh worked its way into my bones, vibrated in my blood stream and sent a shiver down my spine. I had to imagine that the only reason she was single was that she was so new to the area, because a woman like this was never single for long. I didn’t want the night to end, so I asked her out to drinks afterward and to my delighted surprise she suggested that we have them back at her place. I didn’t want to assume anything, so I didn’t make a move, just talked with her more on her sofa, learned about her family and her childhood as an army brat, her love of reading and bubble baths, her fondness for children and animals. When she leaned in and kissed me, I thought that I may be hallucinating. Maybe I was having an intensely long, lucid dream. How did someone like Dana Scully cross my path of all the places on earth she might have been, and how did I have the nerve to approach her, and how was she interested in me, and how was it possible that right then she had her tongue in my mouth on her sofa?

We didn’t have sex that first night, but it wasn’t too long before we did. And it wasn’t too long after that that we decided to be exclusive, and 6 months later that I told her that I loved her. Two weeks after that, she said it back, and for two years, we were happy. It’s typically the case that when you’re newly in love with someone you have that divine infatuation that makes you see everything about them as perfect, but over time it wears off and the things that were once cute become annoying. That never happened with Dana. I was obsessed with her, everything she did was the most incredible thing a human could accomplish or be. Aside from the megawatt smile and musical laugh, she had this sweet little beauty mark on her lip that I loved to kiss. She was witty and skilled at debate, and we’d spend evenings arguing over something like the moon landing conspiracy before fucking like animals over the back of the couch. And the sex. Oh my god the sex. She was an absolute vixen in the way she played, teased, and ultimately delivered on every promise she made, and she would smile in this self-satisfied way when she came, looking me right in the eye like she’d tricked me out of my last dollar. She could be dominant, or dismissive, sometimes one then the other in the same night. She could be anything and everything, and she was.

I loved to hear her talk about her work and new assignments she was getting, and I was so proud of her and her goals and dreams. I wanted to be right beside her as she climbed the ranks at the bureau, and knew that she would be anything she set her mind to. She was equally supportive of me as I graduated and then worked my way up at a local broadcasting company with dreams of being a news anchor. She made me feel important and worthy, showed interest in the things that I cared about and was so loyal to me that she cussed out one of my friends for making jokes at my expense. We never moved in together technically (her choice) but we slept together at one or the other’s apartment every night, rented a movie every Friday, had dinner with her parents every Sunday. Her sister, who she was close to, seemed to like me okay, and her friend Ellen confided in me that she thought I should propose soon, that Dana was ready for that step. I picked out a ring, a slender gold band with a princess cut solitaire, only half a karat because I knew she didn’t like to be flashy, and hid it in my sock drawer. Our anniversary was coming up on March 23 and I decided to do it then, which was a little ways away, but I wanted it to be perfect.

For her birthday, I took her out to dinner and she had exciting news to share. She’d been offered an assignment with an obscure unit at the FBI, requested specifically by Section Chief Blevins for her background as a scientist. I didn’t fully understand what the unit did or why they’d want Dana for it, but it was something about unsolved mysteries, by the sound of it. She was so happy and felt like this was a great sign, her big break, the fact that Blevins even knew she existed and wanted her on this team was an indication of the reputation she was building for herself there. I bought a bottle of champagne, told her how proud I was and that I couldn’t wait to hear more about it. She let me know there would be travel, it was a field agent role, and that she’d be on the road sometimes. As much as I didn’t look forward to being away from her, I couldn’t help but share her excitement at this new step in her career. That night we had the most incredible birthday/promotion sex you could imagine. I made her come three times before she finally tapped out and told me how much she loved me, and how excited she was for the rest of our lives together, how much she appreciated that I understood that her career was important, and that I supported her. If we would have been at my place, I would have grabbed the ring and proposed to her right then, but we were at hers. So I just kissed her and told her that I was the luckiest man on earth because I had the opportunity to be her partner in life.

The first day of her new assignment, she was nervous. She’d heard some stories about the agent she was going to be working with, her partner, a guy named Mulder. He sounded like somewhat of an oddball, and a ladies man to boot. I made a joke about him staying away from my woman and she rolled her eyes, had me help her choose between the plaid suit or the maroon one, kissed me goodbye and told me that she loved me and I didn’t need to worry about this or any other male agent, or male person for that matter, stealing her away. That afternoon at the station I got a message from her saying that she had to fly out to Oregon for a case they were investigating, which caught me by surprise. She had said she’d be on the road, but I didn’t expect it to happen that fast. I heard from her only once in the three days she was gone, and when she came back, she was different.

It’s hard to explain in what way she changed. She was distracted, spacey, staring into nothing when we watched TV in the evening, not really listening to what I was saying when I told her about my day. She told me a little bit about the work she was doing, but she was suddenly guarded and defensive about what she did all day, most of her sentences starting with “Mulder says...” The phone would ring at odd times, she worked late or was out of town almost constantly. I felt her slipping away. I did all I could to make things easy for her when she was home. I did all the cleaning, all her laundry. I cooked her dinner each night, though half the time she would say that she had already eaten with Mulder. She didn’t seem as interested in kissing or sex, but she would let me go down on her and I did, every night, trying to hold on to her attention and her affection with my tongue on her clit. I tried to talk to her, to ask her what was wrong, if I should be doing anything differently, and she’d say “no, of course not. Everything’s fine, I’m just tired.”

Then it was our anniversary, and I made a reservation at the same place we’d gone to that very first time. I picked up flowers for her, dahlias which I knew she loved. I went by her apartment at the agreed upon time, but she didn’t answer the door. I used my key to enter and it was quiet and cold, no sign she’d been there anytime recently. I called her office at work and Mulder answered, said she was up at Quantico performing an autopsy and could he take a message. I just hung up the phone. I went to bed at her place, and when she finally crawled in at 3am she was startled to find me there. The way she looked at me made me feel like she’d forgotten I existed, and I didn’t even bother to remind her that it was our anniversary. I decided to start fresh the next morning, with a new plan. Maybe I was being too demanding, expecting too much. Maybe this Mulder was difficult to work with and she didn’t want to bother me with horror stories. I would just have to be the most supportive, accommodating, wonderful boyfriend possible, and we could come through this together. When I woke up, she was still snoring softly beside me. I slipped my head under the covers and pushed her legs open gently, sliding her nightgown up over her hips. She stirred and moaned as I pressed my lips to her clit, kissing her there before beginning to lap at her labia, two fingers sliding inside just how she liked it. She responded readily, flexing her hips and pushing her hands into my hair, and I flipped the blankets off my head so I could see her face. I loved the way she liked to watch me, to hold my eye as she went over the edge, so intensely intimate. To my disappointment, her eyes were closed, head back against the pillow. When she came, she didn’t look at me, didn’t say anything. I crawled back up to lie beside her and when her eyes met mine they were so full of sadness it sent me into a panic.

“Dana, what’s wrong?” I implored, seeing tears welling under her blue irises.

She shook her head and scooted up so that she was sitting with her back against the headboard.

“Ethan-“ her voice caught under a sob that she quickly swallowed down.

My stomach dropped. No, this can not be happening.

“Ethan” she began again. “I care about you so much.” Tears were falling now, trailing down her alabaster cheeks and dripping off of her angular chin. “I just don’t think I can give you what you need right now.”

My mind was racing, I looked around the room like there might be something, or someone, who could help me.

“I think it might be best if we took a break for a bit. Took some space from each other.”

I sat up on my knees and grabbed her arm, suddenly regretful that I had chosen to sleep naked.

“Dana, what are you talking about? We don’t need space. I don’t need space from you!”

She closed her eyes. “Ethan, it’s not fair to you. I can’t be available to you right now. My new assignment, I’m just so busy-“

“No, it’s okay, Dana. I know you work more now but I don’t mind, I’ll always be here when you come home. I support you, I support your work, you know that.”

Pulling her arm from my grasp, she stood and went to her dresser. Pulled on panties and then jeans before stripping off her nightgown and putting on a bra and sweater. “Ethan. Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be. It’s just not a good time for me, right now.”

“Is it that Mulder guy? Is he making moves on you?” I hated how desperate my voice sounded.

“No, Ethan. This has nothing to do with Mulder, he’s been nothing but professional. This is about me, and what I need right now. What I’m capable of. And I’m just not in a good place for a relationship, I’m sorry. I need some time.”

She was standing near her bedroom door, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. She was ready to walk out.

“How much time? How much time do you need?”

She looked at the floor and whispered “I don’t know.”

I slid off the bed and went to her, dropped to my knees on the floor, wrapping my arms around her hips as I pressed the side of my head into her belly.

“Please don’t do this. We can work through it. I love you, I love you so much. I’ll do whatever you need, just tell me.” The humiliation of begging on my knees while nude makes my skin crawl to this day.

She put her hand on my head, petting my hair as she often did. I felt hot tears drip from her eyes and fall against my scalp. “What I need is for you to let me go” she finally said, and she sounded very sad but also very resolute.

“I’m going to go to my mothers for the day, and I’d like you to pack up the things you have here. You can leave your key on the table. I’ll call you soon, to see how you’re doing, okay?”

“Dana, no, I won’t let you go. Please let me try to make this better.” I clung to her like a child, physically keeping her from leaving me. She crouched down and kneeled in front of me, taking my face in her hands. She kissed me softly on the lips, once.

“You have been a wonderful boyfriend, Ethan. You have loved me so well. I don’t want you to think that this is your fault, okay? You are the best. I just can’t be with someone right now. I know you’ll be okay.”

She stood and walked out of her apartment, pausing once at the door to look back at me, naked and destroyed on the floor in her bedroom doorway, and then she was gone.

She didn’t call me, not in a day or a week or a month. She deleted me from her life like a file she no longer needed. I didn’t know how to explain to my friends what had happened, because I didn’t really know myself. I thought about her every day, ate at restaurants around her work and apartment hoping to catch sight of her, so we could chance a meeting and maybe she’d be willing to talk. When I finally did see her, it was at a sandwich shop a few blocks from the Hoover building. She walked in looking like…well an FBI agent. Now in a black, tailored skirt suit that fit her perfectly, her hair cut shorter and more styled, her heels tall and her posture confident. A man was with her, and my stomach turned at his hand on her back, the familiar way they stood close as they waited in line. He was remarkably tall with dark features, handsome in a kind of mysterious way. I wondered if that was Mulder, assumed that it was. They sat down and I watched her face, the intensity in her eyes and the curl at her lip, recognized the way her features danced as she talked about something she found interesting, the rapturous way she listened while her male counterpart spoke. I remembered when she used to look at me that way. She must have felt my eyes on her because she looked at me suddenly, registering surprise and then sadness, offering me a tiny wave as the man turned to see who she was looking at. I gathered the rest of my sandwich and chucked it in the trash can as I stalked out, suddenly having lost my appetite. I wanted to hate her, to be angry at her betrayal, her abandonment. I wanted to hate him, for taking her from me. All I could muster was the same hallow acceptance that I had my chance, and somehow let it slip away. I just hope that he appreciates her smile as much as I do.

[prettyboybarzal]

Get You

Pairing: Sammy Blais x Reader

Word Count: 4.9k

Warnings: Smut… Smutty smut smut. Just the works, you know?

A/N: In July, me and @bandgirlsclub​ were talking about my Sammy feels… and we talked about how he seems innocent and inexperienced, but he probably is a lil devil in the sheets. So, I needed to write it (for my own research and now for yours too.) This has like zero plot. It’s just sex. Enjoy and let me know what you think!! Title is based on the song “Get You” by Daniel Caesar and Kali Unchis. I couldn’t come up with another title name and I just love this song so, if you don’t like it... TOUGH.

Translations:

J'ai vraiment envie de toi: I really want you.

Vous êtes si belle: You’re so beautiful

Tu as tellement bo goût: You taste so good.

mon ange: My angel

Masterlist.

Then.

When you told your friends about your crush on Sammy Blais back in 2014, they all laughed in your face. Sammy Blais? They repeated after you admitted to it. How can you even see him as a sexual being? Like, what the fuck kind of question was that? You were insulted by their response, annoyed they so easily pushed him to the side for his other, more promiscuous teammates.

Sammy, as you knew him, was a bit quiet and reserved, but he was also always one of the funniest people in the room. If everyone just listened to him, like you did, they would understand why you found him so endearing. It was a combination of whispered jeers at his teammates and pointed looks shared from across a crowded room when someone did or said something stupid.

But how could they know any of that when he didn’t share it with anyone except you? He wasn’t making those same comments in your friends’ ears or sharing winks and eye rolls across the room with them either. It was only ever to you.

He thought your friends were nice enough, but they were a little too in-your-face for his liking. You, however, caught his attention because much like himself, you faded into the background as well. For the same reasons, you were drawn to each other. It was hard to find one of you without the other at parties like the one where the incident occurred.

As the 2014 NHL Draft approached, you realized it was now or never. Something needed to be done before he slipped away. And he was thinking the same thing.

That night, while the party raged on around you, you sat on the couch with your legs pulled up over his lap. His hand rested between your thighs, right at the top of your knee. His thumb traced circles along your skin as you talked about anything that could possibly get a response out of him, whether it be a giggle or one word or even an unexpected tangent.

You were unsure how long you spent on that couch with him, but your friends took notice and cleared the room to get you some privacy. They may not have understood the appeal of your crush on Sammy, but they sure as hell were going to get you what you wanted.

“Where’d the party go?” you asked, hoping that your nerves hadn’t crept into the sound of your voice. Sammy glanced around at the empty room and then sighed softly.

“Doesn’t matter to me,” he answered quite honestly. You laughed softly as you lifted your gaze to his. “Let’s be honest, we’re always looking for each other at these things.”

“You’re not wrong.”

Silence settled between the two of you for the first time as the reality of the relationship between you was clear. It had always been something a little bit more than friendship.

You were still smiling at each other, conversations shared through fleeting looks. He was unsure of himself, unsure of how you felt about him still after all this time. So, his next move was tentative. He couldn’t just come out and do it. He needed permission first.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nodded, unable to find the words that were stuck in the back of your throat.

Sammy leaned in, hand gripping your knee as he tugged you just a bit closer to him. And then his lips met yours in a slow and purposeful kiss. It was cautious and careful, like he was scared to break you, and you were practically dripping with anticipation for what else could come of it. His hands remained where they’d been, one in between your knees and then other against your cheek.

The kiss slowed and he pulled away looking bashful, but you were itching for more. You scooched in closer and leaned in again. He took the hint and did the same. He tried to add a little more spice to it and leaned in quickly to capture your lips. Instead, you ended up bumping heads and you bit his lip by accident.

“Ow.”

“I’m so sorry,” you blurted. He brought his fingers to his lip and there was a little blood on the pad of his thumb when he removed it. Suddenly, the front door opened and if the bleeding lip and minor concussion wasn’t even to ruin the moment, his teammates would.

“Party’s here!”

You were standing before you could even think and Sammy was left looking defeated as his teammates swept you up in hugs and greeted him. They plopped down right in the spot you’d once been and started opening beers to catch up with the rest of the party. Someone shoved a cold beer in Sammy’s hand, swallowing up the warmth that he’d once felt against your cheek.

He didn’t know if he should’ve gone after you, but he stayed put on the couch anyway. He figured he could at least give you a little space after knocking his forehead against yours. But, ultimately that ended up being a huge mistake.

For the rest of the night, he left a wide berth between the two of you. He could’ve blamed it on his nerves or embarrassment over that shitty first kiss. Ultimately, it was his immaturity that ruined it all. Looking back on it now, he could confidently say so. 

It was nearing the end of the night when he heard you gossiping with the girls. He probably shouldn’t have stayed to eavesdrop, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like he was cemented in place.

“I don’t know what happened,” he heard you whisper. “We kissed, and then when we went to kiss again it was all so awkward. We bumped heads and I bit his lip. He started bleeding, and then the rest of the boys showed up, so I just got up and walked away.”

“See, I told you Sammy doesn’t really know what he’s doing when it comes to girls.”

You murmured, “Everything was going so well!”

“It’s just how he is.”

Sammy rolled his eyes, mentally beating himself up for fucking up what he’d been planning for months. He heard the fridge door open and then the hiss of a beer can opening, and then a long and loud sigh.

“I should’ve just listened to you guys.”

He straightened up, brows drawn together in frustration. Of all the responses he thought you’d give, that wasn’t one of them. Had all those months sitting on the couches at house parties not shown you who he really was? He wasn’t just some bumbling idiot with a little schoolboy crush.

“So, are you over it? The crush?”

Before you could answer, he slipped back down the hallway. He tossed his half-full beer can in a garbage bag and walked right out the front door and all the way home.

Now.

After that night, Sammy’s bruised ego took a long time to heal. He moved to St. Louis and put all his effort towards his hockey career, pushing the soul crushing moments shared with you to the back of his mind. His teammates took him under their wing quickly and he was taught how to scope out the bars for someone to take home. Through trial and error, Sammy learned how to flirt and, most importantly, how to make a woman cum.

There were moments that he thought back to that night and wished he could change it. Of all the crushes he’d had in his life, the one on you never went away. Though he avoided home like the plague, his friends were still friends of yours, so he heard about you from time-to-time. They practically begged him to visit, at least just once a year, to catch up with everyone. He was hesitant. Too bruised and stubborn to see you once again.

Sure enough, they broke him down and when he returned home after the end of the 2019-2020 season, he found himself at the very same party as you.

You were the first person he saw when he walked into his former teammate’s house because of course you would be. You were perched atop the kitchen counter in a dress and heels, champagne glass in hand. Even though the music in the apartment was loud, he heard your laughter loud and clear as he entered.

“Sammy!”

He was surprised by your exclamation and, although his other friends shouted his name as well, he only focused on you as you hopped off the counter and ran over to him. Your arms looped around his waist.

“I didn’t believe the boys when they said you were coming.”

You smelled the same, like lavender and vanilla and something fruity. Your hair felt soft under his touch as he pulled you tighter to his chest.

“I’m happy you’re here.”

He smiled at you and responded, “Me too.”

As soon as your hug was over, he was gone. His friends swept him up beneath their arms and ushered him off to grab drinks.

When you returned to the girls, they watched you with knowing looks.

“Still?” one of them asked. You were avoiding their eyes, that much was certain.

“What do you mean still?”

“You still have a crush on him?”

You took the last swig of your drink and waved them off dismissively, saying, “No, of course not. It’s been six years.”

Apparently, six years was just enough time for that crush to grow.

Everyone at the bar was equally as excited to see Sammy return home, so you felt a bit deflated when he spent the better part of the night catching up with people you knew he couldn’t stand. The Sammy you once knew wasn’t the Sammy before you. This Sammy possessed an air of confidence you’d never seen and carried himself around the bar like he had a million better things to do, even though you knew he’d just be at home on the couch if he didn’t accept the invite.

He’d grown out of the stage in his life where he needed to sneak off to the couch in the corner with you, and that realization stung more than you wanted to admit. So, as you watched him talk to another random girl about two hours into the night, you stepped outside into the cool Summer air. He caught sight of you as you went and, though he wanted to push the thought of joining you out of his mind, he ended up excusing himself from the conversation he was having just to follow you.

He exited the bar and stepped onto the pavement of the sidewalk outside, eyes grazing each smoker’s face to see if you’d blended in with any of them. And then, there you were, at the corner of the bar and an alleyway beside it.

“Hiding?” he asked as soon as he was within earshot. You looked up from your phone and smiled at him, pushing yourself just slightly off the wall to give him your full attention.

“Maybe.”

“Can I hide with you?”

“Of course.”

He leaned his shoulder up against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. You tried not let your eyes wander, but it was hard to ignore how defined his muscles had gotten since the last time you’d seen him.

“Nothing’s really changed, huh? They’re all just as crazy as they’ve always been.”

You hummed and then spoke what had been on your mind all night, “We’ve changed. Neither one of us have ended up sneaking off to hide from the party.”

“Until now,” he added, motioning between the two of you and the outside air.

“Do you remember when we used to just sit in the corner at parties and talk all night?”

He nodded, responding, “That was the only reason I ever went to those parties.”

“That’s not true.”

“Did you ever see me anywhere other than by your side?”

You laughed at his question and that was answer enough.

“Do you remember when we kissed?” he asked. The question tumbled from his lips shamelessly. Not even a blush came over his cheeks as he asked. Yours, on the other hand, was clear. “I’ve thought about that kiss way more than I’d like to admit.”

When his eyes lifted to yours, you felt a chill run down your spine. His eyes were dark and yearning and they kept flickering to your lips and back to your eyes again. So, you said, “Me too.”

Everything that happened next was a blur. He grabbed your hand and tugged you out of sight into the alley. His hands gripped your hips and pressed you against the brick as his lips captured yours in a feverish and needy fashion.

You felt the kiss from your head to your toes. It was unlike the one you shared years ago. Sammy was more sure in himself, more confident, just like suspected. He had a lot to make up for. He nudged your legs apart with his knee as his tongue slipped past your lips and into your mouth. You moaned as you rubbed your core against his thigh.

“You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do this,” he spoke against your lips. You nodded, letting him know that you felt just the same. His lips hovered over your jaw for a moment before he pressed a kiss to it, then to the skin of your neck. Your head lulled to the side, giving him access to more skin. “I was just a kid back then. I had no idea how to handle a woman like you. But everything’s different now.”

“Different how?” you inquired, eager to know just what he meant by those words. He lifted his head from your neck and took your jaw between his fingers. He could tell you, or he could show you.

“Come home with me.”

You couldn’t leave fast enough. You went inside and complained to your girlfriends about stomach pains while he said goodbyes to the boys, letting them know he’d be taking an Uber with you to make sure you got home safely. No one batted an eye. Who would? It was just Sammy Blais.

Your car pulled up not even ten minutes later. He pulled the door open for you, stared at your ass as you entered, and then slid in right next to you, hand falling to your thigh once more. He shed himself of the light jacket he’d been wearing and threw it over your laps for a little privacy because keeping his hands to himself was not in the cards. With a dress that short, you couldn’t expect him to not touch you.

As the driver spoke nonsense into the otherwise quiet car, Sammy fingers trailed closer to your core until they were brushing along the fabric of your thong. A gasp escaped your lips at his touch.

“You alright, baby?” he asked, turning to look at you. The pet name caught you by surprise, but you simply bit your lip and nodded before dropping your head against his shoulder. He smiled contently and returned his attention to the man behind the wheel while his fingers continued their path.

He pushed the fabric aside and slipped a finger past the lips of your pussy. His movements were painfully slow and your heart hammered in your chest as you yearned for more. As if he could read your mind, he added a second finger to massage your folds and then he sunk them into your heat.

It was excruciating, the way he moved his fingers slowly in and out of you. You were desperate for more but each time you tried to get a little added friction, he pulled his fingers away with a warning glare. It was a sick game of cat and mouse that you were playing all the way to his apartment building.

He held your hand as you stepped out of the car on shaky legs and led you into the building. In the elevator, he lifted your chin and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips before turning your back to his chest and enveloping you in his arms. You could feel his erection pressed against your ass and your pussy throbbed in anticipation of what was to come.

The moment his apartment door was closed, he was pressing you against it.

“J'ai vraiment envie de toi,” he whispered against your throat. You whimpered as he pushed your thong to the side again and pushed his fingers back into your cunt, curling them against your g-spot. “You’re so wet.”

The way he’d already worked your pussy in the car made his touch even more intense. He circled your clit with his thumb. His fingers worked your pussy as he sucked a mark into your neck. It wasn’t long before you began to grind against his hand, already so close to your first orgasm of the night. It was right there, so close, and then he pulled his fingers out and stepped back.

“Bedroom.”

While you flitted off to the bedroom, Sammy took his time kicking his shoes off at the door and dropping his jacket over a kitchen chair. So, you took the opportunity to peel the dress from your body, leaving you only in your panties as you crawled up to his headboard. The sound of his belt hitting the floor in the hallway had you spreading your legs and sliding your fingers beneath the waistband.

When Sammy stepped into the room, you could see him swallow as his eyes caught on your fingers in your pussy. His eyes were dark as he walked towards the end of the bed. In one swift movement, he wrapped a hand around your ankle and yanked you down the bed before grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head.

“You’re impatient,” he grunted. “This pussy’s mine tonight.” He pressed a rough kiss to your lips. His free hand danced up your thigh and returned to your core. He slid two fingers between your folds. “Do you understand?” You nodded. He curled his fingers inside of you. “I want to hear you. Whose pussy is this?”

“Yours,” you breathed out, chest heaving beneath him.

“Vous êtes si belle.”

He leaned down and attached his lips to your nipple, sucking and biting and drawing all the beautiful sounds from you. His free hand was back to work, tugging your panties down to your knees.

“Do you want my fingers or my mouth?” he asked. He sucked on the sweet spot below your ear, making it nearly impossible to speak. “Choose.”

“Your mouth,” you choked out. “I want your mouth.”

He left a trail of kisses from your neck all the way to your chest, tongue licking and sucking at your nipples before continuing down your stomach to your hips. As he began to your thighs, his fingers played with your nipples, setting off every nerve in your body. You opened your eyes to look down at him between your thighs and as soon as your gaze met his, he licked a stripe up your core.

You half-whispered, half-moaned, “Fuck.”

“Louder.”

Shy and reserved were two words that you’d never use to describe Sammy again, not after the way his tongue caressed you. The sounds that fell from your mouth only egged him on. He loved your moans, but he knew he could draw something more out of you. So, when his fingers began to work in tandem with his tongue and you released a scream, he was determined to get you to scream again.

You dropped your hands into his hair as his tongue stroked your core. You tugged and he groaned into your cunt, the vibration causing you to shudder beneath him. You began to grind against him as he tongue fucked you. The sound of your whimpers and heavy breathing only made him work harder and faster, eager to have you cum on his face.

“Tu as tellement bo goût.”

You quivered beneath him, moaning out his name as your first orgasm washed over you. He couldn’t take his eyes off your face as it twisted in pleasure while he continued to lap up the wetness of your pussy. You placed your hands at the top of his head as the stimulation became too much and pushed him away lightly.

He stood, admiring every inch of your naked body as you caught you breath beneath him. You looked fucking perfect and so fucked out already that he was too eager to see what you’d look like after taking his dick.

“Come on, baby,” he spoke softly. “You’re not tapping out are you?”

“Fuck you,” you grunted, blissed out smile betraying your own words.

“Please do,” he said, eyes dark.

After a deep breath, you got onto all fours before crawling to the end of bed to undo his jeans. He watched you hungrily as your fingers moved along the zipper and pushed the pants down. After he kicked them to the side, you trailed your fingers along the waistband of his underwear and watched him shiver. You never wanted to watch someone unravel more than you wanted him to.

You pulled them off and freed his cock, eyes lighting up at the size of it. He smiled down at you, admiring the way you looked on your knees for him.

Your hands curled around his member, gathering the precum from the tip to coat over it. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he studied your every movement. One hand cupped your cheek and slid into the hair at the back of your head as you brought your lips closer. You wrapped your lips around his length, tongue flattening against it as you took him deeper.

He wanted to keep watching, but he could hardly keep his eyes open or his head from lulling to the side. Your mouth felt so good around him. With one hand on his shaft and the other on his balls, he could hardly think straight. Your tongue teased his tip before taking him in again, gasps escaping his mouth. Each time, you took him deeper and faster and he could feel his orgasm building.

“Stop,” he grunted, hand wrapping in your hair to keep you from continuing. You were knelt in front of him with your mouth open, tongue out, so ready to take him back into your mouth. It was hard to resist. “Fuck, I want you to keep going, but I need to cum while I’m inside that pretty little pussy of yours.”

You whimpered at his words.

“Lay down.”

You did as you were told once again and watched as he grabbed a condom from inside his bedside table and rolled it over his cock. You spread your legs as he crawled up the bed. His hands traveled up your thighs again and he ran his fingers along your folds as he captured your lips in his again. Then, he pulled away to wrap his hand around his shaft.

“You gonna take my cock, mon ange?” he asked, his voice soft and sweet contrasting the vulgarity of his question. You nodded, desperate to feel him inside of you after all this time. Your hands fluttered down to grab his length and pull it into you, but he pulled back. The smirk on his lips was teasing, mischievous. “Beg for it.”

“Sammy,” you whined. He shook his head, hand pumping himself as he waited impatiently to get what he wanted. “Please.”

“You can do better than that, pretty girl. Tell me how badly you want it.”

Never would you have thought those words could come from timid Sammy Blais, but he hovered over you, staring darkly at your naked form with demands falling effortlessly from his lips. This was what he’d been hiding this entire time? You wanted more of it.

“C’mon, baby,” you moaned. He watched your lips as you begged and brushed the head of his member along your entrance. “I need your cock. I want you to fill me up and fuck me until I’m screaming. Don’t make me wait any longer, please.”

Finally, he pushed into you. He sucked in a deep breath as you threw your head back, eyes clamping shut. He gave you a moment to adjust, using it for himself to breathe as well. He wanted this to last more than a few minutes. You nodded at him to move once you were ready and he fucked into you slowly, murmuring, “You’re so fucking tight.”

“You feel so good,” you told him, fingers curling through the hair at the nape of his neck. You wrapped your hands around his biceps as his thrusts got faster. When he bottomed out, he stilled to get a good look at the euphoria on your face. You met his eyes and wrapped your legs around his hips. “Harder, Sammy. Please.”

You were still begging and he fucking loved it. He snapped his hips to yours again, then again, and again. He swallowed your moans with his lips. You wrapped your legs around his hips, drawing him in farther. You were so full of him, but you just couldn’t get enough.

He buried his face into your neck as his thrusts became sloppier. He sucked along your neck, no doubt leaving marks that could be discovered tomorrow. Your nails dug into his shoulders leaving marks of your own. The sound of his heavy breathing and the whimpers falling from your lips indicated that you were both rapidly approaching your highs.

Sammy wrapped an arm around your waist and flipped your bodies to have you on top. In this new position, he heled you to his chest and fucked up into you. He was hitting every spot and you were a moaning mess with each thrust.

“Cum, YN,” he spoke through jagged breaths. “Cum all over my cock.”

His hand snaked back to your core as you rode him, massaging the sensitive bud to help get you to your orgasm. You chanted his name as your walls fluttered around him. He fucked you through your climax, French curses falling from his lips and into the skin of your neck.

He continued through your aftershocks, chasing his orgasm desperately as your obscene moans filled the room. He came with a final thrust that you felt in your stomach and he collapsed on top of you breathing heavily. Your fingernails scratched his back soothingly as he softened inside of you.

He rolled over and stared at the ceiling as his breathing evened out. You did the same, though one of your hands reached out to curl your fingers between his. He glanced over at you with pink cheeks and sighed, “Holy shit.”

After a moment, you asked, “Sammy, why haven’t you been fucking me like that since high school?”

He rolled over to hover over you once more and kissed you hard, all with a smile on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I told you that I didn’t know what I was doing back then.”

“Well, you definitely do now.”

“And that means I have six years to make up for,” he said, biting lightly on your bottom lip. “I hope you aren’t planning on sleeping for a while.”

Sammy picked you up and carried you out of the bedroom, smiling while listening to your giggles the entire way. When he dropped you, it was in the bathroom and he turned the shower on before turning to trail his eyes along your body to your eyes.

“How about a shower?”

Bonus

“Where’s YN?” one of your roommates called down the hall to the others in the kitchen. She was standing in your doorway, staring at the empty bed in front of her in confusion. The other girls approached from the kitchen and stopped once they saw what she was looking at.

“I thought Sammy brought her here last night.”

“Me too.”

“I thought one of you checked last night.”

The sound of a key in the lock of the front door had them running to the living room to greet you. You pushed the door open totally not expecting to be bombarded by the girls.

“Where have you been?” “Is that a St. Louis Blues sweatshirt?” “Is that Sammy’s number on the sleeve?” “Is that a hickey?!”

As they asked their questions and made assumptions, albeit correct ones, you walked into the kitchen to grab a water bottle. They followed, still echoing the same questions over and over. Finally, as you sat at the kitchen table, they simmered.

“I was at Sammy’s,” you said. You pinched the shoulder of the hoodie and waved the material. “and this is his sweatshirt,” you continued. You yanked the collar away from your neck. “and these are hickeys.”

“There’s more than one,” someone muttered.

The look on their faces were ones of pure shock. Their brains were struggling to understand what exactly happened last night, though the proof of it was right in front of them.

“You fucked Sammy?!”

You told them how his fingers worked you and the way he made you scream while you came like no other man had before. You told them about the shower you took after, how it was both and sexy and sweet the way that he washed your hair and then fucked you against the shower wall. And they sat there in shock, realizing that clearly they’d not known Sammy all that much after all.

Some things, though, you chose to keep to yourself. Like the sweet nothings he whispered in your ear this morning while he fucked you slowly and passionately in his bed just twenty minutes before dropping you off. And the promise he made to fuck you again, and again, and again.

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

The Struggle of Loving You - Chapter 2

Chapter Selection

"Hey... you might wanna get up", I heard a voice call out to me. I was drawn out of sleep completely when the covers were pulled off of me. I curled my body up in fetal position, "Come on let's go." 

I groaned out, the cold covering my body in goosebumps. "We have that test today... let's... go." Chloe grabbed onto my legs and dragged me off the bed. My body fell onto the covers that were cooled on the floor. I threw my head on the bed, "Fine I'm up, I'm up."

"Good", she said with a smug smile and turned away from me getting changed for class. Chloe and I  had a test today in forensics. I wasn't very good in the class, my average grade was a C+. But I was studying for this test for a few weeks, I needed to get an A. 

For nothing particular I just wanted to raise my average. It was the only class where I was struggling in, I needed the best grades I could get. 

"Did you start the coffee!", I called from the bathroom. "Yeah!", I nodded my head and started brushing my teeth. After I was done I hopped into the shower, feeling too cold from the air around me. The water heated me up and made the stress ease up. 

The smell of the coconut shampoo flooding the small room I was in. Washing it out my hair wasn't as oily as it was when I woke up. When I finished my shower I stepped out of the bathroom and dried off. 

A cup of coffee sitting on my dresser, the perfect color. It was still hot when I took a sip; I burnt my tongue a bit. I went to my closet and put on a fitted black hoodie and ripped light blue jeans. I walked out of my room and went to the kitchen carrying my bag and mug. 

I put an ice cube in and stirred it, cooling down the temperature. I downed the drink and placed it in the sink. "We got half an hour", Chloe grabbed her bag and locked the door behind us as we walked out. 

Going down to the parking lot I got into the passenger seat, letting Chloe drive. "Why were you really at Hotch's last night; I get it's your job but it was late when you got home. You would think his parents would be there already." I looked up from my phone and chuckled. 

"If you think something happened it didn't, I told you last night that I was helping him." She hummed and grinned, I smacked her arm. "Not that kind of help... He called me and asked if I could watch Jack today. I said I could after class. He sounded exhausted so I offered to go over there so he could get some rest." 

Her glanced over at me, "Why couldn't his wife watch their son." I sighed. 

"She was out drinking", that was the end of the conversation. I explained to her before my problems with Hayley; she was a terrible person but lately she was out of it. We were 5 minutes away from campus now when I got a text from Hotch. 

Hotch- If you could come by right after class that'd be great. I'll be here when you do

Y/n- Sounds good

Hotch- Oh and good luck today

Y/n- Thank you

It was 8:30 when we got to campus, walking down the sidewalk going to class. We go through the door and take a seat leaving a space between to save the teacher time by telling us to separate. I took advantage of our early arrival setting my book in front of me and flipping through them trying to retain anything I could. 

Chloe scooted closer trying to read from my book as well. I ran my finger down the page glancing over the words picking out the most important information. "Alright, stuff away, clear the tables", my professor called from the front.  

I put my books away and turned off my phone. Getting ready for the amount of stress I was about to get on a sheet of paper. The papers were passed out and I had to wait for everyone to receive the test so I could start. 

"And... Start", I flipped the paper over and wrote my name at the top moving on to the first question. 

______________________________________

"Pass the papers up to the end of your table", I took a deep breath; hoping I did as good as I think I did. The tests were collected and I felt a wave of relief wash over me; all I needed to know now was my final grade. 

"You may leave", the professor called to the class. "Wanna go get some food?", Chloe asked me as we walked out of the hall. "Can't I have to get Jack", she understood and started driving me over to Hotchs. 

"This house", Chloe stopped the car and I got out. She drove off and I walked up to the door knocking a few times. I waited a few moments before Hotch opened the door. He stepped out of the way and let me inside. The warmth from his house washed over me, making me feel relaxed.

I heard jacks feet patter against the hardwood as he came into the living room from the hallway. "Y/n!", I bent down and he jumped into my arms. A smile crept onto Hotch's face at the sight, he cleared his throat. 

"Alright I'm going to work, Hayley should be home in a few hours. Have fun guys." 

I turned to Hotch holding the door open for him. "Okay, have fun at work... Jack say goodbye to your dad", Jack waved and said bye to him; I gave him a smirk. "Bye", he returned the action. I could see a faint presence of his dimples. I shut the door behind Hotch as he walked out.

 Having Jack still in my arms I looked at him. "How would you feel about going to the park later today?", He nodded eagerly. "But first how about you help me clean up okay", I set him down on the couch. 

"Then I can make you lunch and we can leave for the park", Jack followed behind me; I handed him the broom and dust pan. He already knew what to do, we started to sweep the floor putting all of it into one pile so he could throw it away. 

I turned on some music but given he was a little kid I needed it to be appropriate. So I selected my oldies playlist, the first thing to play was Johnny Cash. I put the dishes in the dishwasher and hand washed what I couldn't fit. 

Jack finished and he emptied the dustpan. I cleaned the counter tops and the dinning table. Jack sat down waiting for me to make him food. 

I started making mashed potatoes not wanting him getting sick at the park. Jack was listening to the music and started drawing; I was scrolling through my phone. The water started boiling and I emptied the packet into the water. 

Stirring it around adding butter, salt, and garlic. I made him a bowl and set it on the table. He put his paper and crayons away; taking his time eating I finished my bowl already; I hadn't eaten anything all day. 

He pushed his bowl, "Done." I grinned and washed our dishes. "Alright get your shoes on", I waited by the door and he gripped my hand. I locked the door and we walked to the park. As we got closer I could hear the laughter or the other children. "Go on", he darted to the swings, kicking his legs back and forth getting higher. 

I took a seat on the bench watching him. I started recording a video of him on the swings; figured Hotch could use something to make him smile. I sent him the video; a few minutes later he texted. 

Hotch- Looks like he's having fun

Y/n- Yeah, after you left he helped my pick up the house

Hotch- Thank you for that, I haven't really had the time lately

Two later he ran up to me out of breath, "Ready to go?" He held on to my hand, "Yeah." I could tell as soon as he went inside the house he was going to bed. 

As soon as I unlocked the door he walked inside, "Jack don’t forget to take a shower first." He went into the bathroom and shut the door. I sat on the couch and waited for either Hotch or Hayley to come home. 

Jack finished his shower, brushed his teeth, got changed and crawled into bed. It was going on 7pm and I was still waiting. I took a nap on the couch with the tv on in the background. 

I felt a hand on my arm, I opened my eyes and Hayley was standing behind the couch. I yawned, "Jack's in bed already." She nodded and got me my money, walking me to the door. "Thank you, have a good night." 

"You too", I went outside and called Chloe. She arrived shortly after, I got in the car. 

"How was your day?"

"Spent some time with Anthony today, you?", I chuckled. "As good as spending a day with a child is." I rested my head against the seat, my eyes weighing down. 

[songtoyou]

Tempting Fate - Part Seven

Paring: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: Nothing major. Mention of smoking cannabis. 

Word Count: 2,025

Story Summary: Tommy is not a believer in fate or destiny. However, a new resident in Small Heath will question his beliefs and push his boundaries outside his comfort zone.

A/N: Please don’t hate me. 

Please do not post any of my fics to other sites without my permission.

Tag List: @owenniasstars​

Tommy didn’t ask you to walk with him to the canal to meet up with Curly. You didn’t ask to come along. As Tommy said, this was something he needed to do by himself. However, it wouldn’t mean that you weren’t going to worry about him until he safely returned.

One thing you still have trouble contemplating was how much your relationship with Tommy had changed in such a short amount of time.  The man used to ignore you to now having sex with you regularly. It was such a fast switch of behavior that you didn’t quite know where it came from. Whenever Tommy was around, you never gave this view much thought or interest, mostly because you were so preoccupied with Tommy that he took up a lot of your attention.

Now with him gone, it allowed you room and time to think things through if Tommy was, in fact, “the one” or not. However, you could not deny your feelings for the man that continued to grow each day you were with him. Tommy made your heart flutter that no other man had been able to accomplish.

You didn’t have too much time to think things over as Esme had arrived with the kids. You let them inside while finished making the lunch packs for the trip.

The kids rallied around you, yelping and begging for treats. “Oi! Settle down, or we won’t be going to no fair!” Esme yelled to the kids, who immediately quieted down.

You laughed while pulling out a tin with biscuits and gave each child a piece. “You lot are lucky she spoils all of you,” Esme said, pointing to each child. “So, I guess Tommy told you to be on your best behavior and not make trouble?” asked Esme, and when you nodded your head, she scoffed. “The same spiel John gave me. Those men have a lot of nerve telling us not to get into trouble.”

“Oh, trust me, then know. It won’t stop them from doing it. Okay, I think I have everything we need. We can head out. Johnny Dogs said he would meet us outside of The Garrison,” you instructed and handed one of the kids the basket with the lunch packs and other items for the road.

The ride to the fair went by fast, thanks to Johnny telling stories the entire way. You could tell Johnny was a good guy. He was a loyal friend to Tommy and appeared to get along with everyone. Johnny appeared not to be a part of one clan but multiple clans. He had the ability to integrate from one to another.

Born in Northern Ireland to a family of Irish travelers, John had befriended Tommy when they were younger. It was only when Tommy, Arthur, and John headed off to France during the War that he joined the Lee gang. You were surprised to find out that it was Johnny who presided over John and Esme’s wedding. You were equally surprised to find out that Esme and John's marriage was not a love marriage. It was arranged by Tommy and the Lees to bring both families together as they were close to being in a war with one another. All in all, you liked the man.

The wagon came to a sudden halt. “We are here!” exclaimed Johnny excitedly.

You looked out to see other wagons all lined up with people spread out in the field. There was music already being played, children running around happily, and the smell of food was exquisite. This is what you had been missing while being in Small Heath. The freedom that comes with traveling, not having to answer to anyone, living off the land, and making do with what you have. Overall, it was the sense of community that you missed the most, of being around others like you. It was one of the reasons why you became so attached to Esme. She understood while others couldn’t. Not even Tommy could understand your feelings of homesickness or why you missed traveling. He tried, but it was not something he would ever understand.

Sometimes you got the sense that Tommy was someone who tended to downplay his roots. You knew his goal of gaining power within the upper hierarchy of British society. You knew the upper crest looked down on those with working-class backgrounds and could only imagine what they thought of those with Romani blood.

While Johnny tended to the horses, you walked around with Esme and the kids. There were fortune tellers, palm readers, stalls selling jewelry, clothing, or farming tools, and an array of other horse-related items for sale. Esme got each of the kids some food and told them to bugger off and not get into trouble.

“Fancy having your fortune told?” you teased Esme, who merely rolled her eyes.

“Charlatans, all of them. They’ll only tell you what you want to hear. I was told I would marry a man who was tall, dark, and handsome. That he would be my soulmate, my other half, all that bullshit these old birds tell ya,” Esme ranted off.

“John’s tall, blond, and handsome. You may have gotten together under the not-so-normal circumstance, but you both love each other very much. Right?”

But Esme shrugged. “So, I take it the honeymoon stage is over?” you asked her.

With a sigh, Esme turned towards you, “John, I don’t know; he doesn’t talk to me about anything. He keeps things to himself, especially with what happened during the War. He has nightmares, you know.”

“Yeah, I figured all of the Shelby brothers have their inner demons from the War. It is the same with Tommy. He doesn’t share much either, but I can’t force him. All I can do is be there for him. That is what you are going to have to do with John. The Shelby’s are an unusual bunch. One we aren’t used to or have experienced before. It is as if they have this need to better themselves and to prove that they are worthy. We don’t have that need. We are happy with what we have and where we come from. No amount of money or materialistic things are going to change who we are,” you elaborated to Esme.

She seemed to consider what you were saying. “I need a drink,” was all Esme said and linked her arm with yours.

The two of you sat under a tree with a drink in hand, sharing a plate of food and passing a joint. Esme seemed to be in a lighter mood than before, thanks to the alcohol and cannabis.

When Esme said your name, you looked over at the brunette. “What?” you asked.

“I meant to ask you this for some time. How is Tommy in bed?”

You could feel the heat on your face. Stifling a smile, you hid your face with your hand to hide your blushing. Soon, you turned into a fit of giggles.

“Come one, now!” yelled Esme smiling. “Don’t get all prudent on me! How is the King of Birmingham in the sack?”

When you were able to compose yourself, you answered, “He is amazing. I don’t know how else to describe being with him. He just…I have never felt like this with any other person. The way he knows my body. It’s like he knows what makes me tick. He knows how to bring me over the edge and back again. It’s an amazing feeling.”

“Must be nice,” was all Esme said and took a drag of the joint.

You looked over at your friend. There was a hint of sadness in her eyes. You couldn’t imagine being in her position. You wouldn’t want to be in a marriage that was arranged by your older brother only to stop a war starting between two rival families. That is bound to create a marriage of convenience rather than love. Your parents were a love match, and it showed. That is what you wanted.

Was Tommy the one for you? You didn’t know, but he was the one for you at the moment.

Thankfully, Tommy returned from London safe and sound. From what you heard from Polly, Tommy’s meeting with Alfie Solomons went well. The leader of the Jewish gang had agreed to align with the Peaky Blinders to take down Sabini. Tommy spent most of his time at Shelby Company Limited, so you didn’t see him too often. This surprised you, but you tried your best to think nothing of it. However, after the first couple of days Tommy got back home, he maintained his distance from you, especially in public.

You stopped by his office one day during your break. You wanted to check on him to see how he was doing. Spotting Lizzie at her desk, you asked if Tommy was in. Not even bothering to look at you, she said he was busy.

“Can you please tell Tommy that I need to talk to him?” you practically pleaded to Lizzie.

You understood the newly appointed secretary’s animosity towards you. She liked Tommy and hated that you had his attention. Lizzie treated Esme the same way now that John was married. You and Esme had the men Lizzie wanted or could have had.

Before you turned to leave, Tommy walked out of his office. He looked at you and waved you inside. “Ms. Stark, please don’t allow any visitors to interrupt my meeting with Ms. Young,” he ordered.

You walked into Tommy’s office, and he guided you to a chair. He asked if you wanted a drink.

“No, I can’t stay long. I only wanted to see how you were doing. I haven’t seen you much since you returned from your trip. Your bruises look like they have healed nicely,” you noted as Tommy sat down in the chair across from you.

He took a swig of his whiskey and pulled out a cigarette. You declined when he offered one to you. “Is everything okay, Tommy?” you asked him, concerned.

As Tommy rubbed his thumb across his lips, he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

“It would be best if we don’t see each other anymore,” Tommy spoke, still not looking at you.

For a second, you thought you misheard him. “What?”

Tommy gulped down the rest of his whiskey and slammed the glass on the side table. “I have other things to worry about. The Company needs to have my full attention. If I want to take over Sabini’s racecourses, then I can’t have any distractions. “

Folding your arms, you leaned back in the chair. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Distractions? So, I’m a distraction, now?” you asked in disbelief. It took all you had not to smack the man before you upside the head. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m realistic,” Tommy countered and got up to walk to his desk. “This isn’t the time where I should…” he began to say but didn’t finish. It was like he was at a standstill. You could tell he didn’t believe what he was saying. That Tommy himself knew it was all bullshit. He was pushing you away so you wouldn’t get hurt.

Tommy didn’t want you to end up as a casualty in his war with Sabini. He also didn’t want someone like Campbell to use you as leverage against him. You were too much of a liability to him. If his enemies on to your connection to Tommy, then you could be used as a weakness against him.

Deciding that you had enough and didn’t want to listen to his gibberish, you got up and exited the office. Walking back to The Garrison, you told yourself not to cry that you were not going to shed one tear over a man who didn’t want you. That it was wasted energy crying over someone who was not brave enough even to be honest with you.

Tommy Shelby was a complicated man. You realized that he wasn’t the man for you in the long run. He was merely the man for you at the moment. And that moment was gone now.

[apenapaperandadoofus]

in relation to my drowsy share, anyway can we have the rfa + minor trio's take on an mc that is so crazy for a fictional character meanwhile they are in love with mc? they be like: hELLo - crackhead anon

Hey there crackhead anon! I’ve missed yaaaaa

RFA+minor trio with an MC who is in love with fictional characters (instead of them *insert sad violin music*)

Part 2 here!

Zen:

Aight listen

At first he’s chill about it

He just thinks you don’t know how to pick up hints, because he’s literally been flirting with you for a while now

But then, after time passes and you still don’t realize he’s hitting on you, and you’re still sort of fangirling over this fictional character, he WILL be a bit mad

I mean why do you need to romance 2d boys when he’s there??? Do you just not like him??? What was wrong with him, mC pLeAsE

Truth be told, he will try and act like your anime/game character. He WILL do it, all he can to get you to understand he LIKES you

You like angry bois? He will become an angry boy. Tsunderes? Well, it’s not like he l-likes you or anything baka! Cool flirty type? He will up his game

Although it takes a while, Zen finds out one of your favorite confessions from your favorite game, and decides to copy it! He will be all romantic and everything

Thankfully you were FINALLY able to understand that he likes you, and it’ll probably be a funny story you tell everyone in the RFA

Yoosung:

Angry boi angry boi

Yoosung has never flirted in his life

Well, he’s not good at it, it’s not something he has really done before

Imagine the PAIN this poor guy must be through when he finally takes the courage to flirt and...

You don’t get it

HOW?

Zen has even tried giving Yoosung some advice, which usually works,but you’re still not picking up his hints!

One day Yoosung finds you smiling at your phone screen and he’s lowkey ready to fuck a bitch up

But then he sees you’re playing a game... ANS GETS EVEN MORE JEALOUS

I mean, come on! You’re choosing an AI over him? Why MC WHY T_T

After curling up in his bed and crying for three hours, Yoosung decided to just tell you and get it over with.

He was really scared, and his hands shook as he dialed up your number.

You immediatly answered, which made him let out a little yelp, and after a bit of stammering Yoosung decided to confess his feelings for you.

“I...I love you Y/N. And, I-I know I’m not exactly your type of guy...like the ones in your game. I’m not really like...like them but I, I promise I will do my best to become the type of man you want to be with!”

....

“Y/N please speak I am panicking.”

You laughed. “It’s alright Yoosung. Truth is...I like you too...and you’re exactly like the guy in my game, why do you even think I was romancing him? You don’t have to change, I love you for who you are.”

Yoosung tried his best to hold back his tears, and after the two of you hung up he gave a little WHOOP

Jaehee:

So, Jaehee was really taken aback when she realized that she had feelings for you. After all, she never really thought about having a partner before

She was really new to the experience. Sure, she had been confessed to in her high school days (I mean look at her she probably got so many love letters AHG) but that was all she knew.

So she went to Zen for advice, which was great! The thing neither of you had planned though, was that you would be far too focused on your anime waifus to realize that Jaehee was flirting with you

Honestly she isn’t even mad. She’s just confused. I mean, she gets what it’s like idolizing someone, but I mean, Zen was real.

So Jaehee lays low for a while. To be honest, she feels a bit jealous whenever you gush and fawn over this character, or this other character, because your eyes light up in such a beautiful way, she can’t help but want them to light up like that for her.

After months and months, Zen finally decides to tell you that Jaehee likes you. He had taken you out to dinner, and you almost dropped your fork when he told you.

Immediatly, he drove you to Jaehee’s house. She came out in her cute pijamas, with no glasses on. You were honestly about to die.

After saying bye (and thanks) to Zen, you went to sit with Jaehee in her living room, and there you confessed your feelings for her. Jaehee was super confused,after all you would never shut up about the character you liked, and she really believed she had no shot. Yet, here you are, confessing to her. Jaehee can’t help but smile and blush.

She will always tease you about your character crushes, but she understands you. She has even found a few of her own! (But she’ll never tell you.)

Jaehee thinks it’s really funny how you never understood that she was trying to give you hints, or even the time she used a pick up line on you (Zen’s idea) and you two laugh about it when you lay in bed, cuddling.

Jumin:

He is very confused

First of all, he’s dealing with a LOT of emotions right now

And then second, when he decided to express his feelings for you, you don’t really understand?

Which is super confusing, I mean, it always works in his soap operas

Instead though, you are in love with a fictional character.

Excuse me what?

Jumin really doesn’t understand

MC he’s fake pls love me

Honestly I think this would lead to a really funny montage of Jumin buying you super expensive things, and making the biggest romantic gestures, while you just remain clueless as to what’s going on lol

He gets a whole orchestra to play your favorite song, he always gets you your favorite flowers or chocolates, he’s always doing the most romantic things he can find on the internet! (Yes he had to look up how to flirt lol)

One day, you’re both talking on the phone, and it’s late at night. The moon and stars are getting the both of you super sentimental, and at one point while Jumin is looking out into the balcony, he smiles and then whispers your name.

You immediatly stop talking and blush like crazy. Then, before you could say anything else, he starts speaking again.

“Y/N. There’s something really important I have to tell you. In all my life...no one has ever gotten to make me...make me feel so much. I’ve always been told to bury my emotions, to never show them. Then you came along and I found that I could never stop myself from...from feeling...I’ve never felt like this before, the feeling of loving someone, of cherishing someone. They weren’t feelings I hadn’t known until I met you. You have changed my life. And I mean it, Y/N. I have become more open, it’s as if my heart was a frozen lake and then you came and melted me away and well, what I’m trying to say is that I love you.”

“Jumin that was the best confession ever, I- I love you too!”

Afterwards Jumin is fine with you going crazy for a fictional character, as long as he always ends up getting tons of hugs and kisses too.

Jumin was never really jealous, except the times when he left for business trips, because he knew that some games had these audios to help you sleep (you told him a while ago) and that was the only thing that made him a bit worried.

One time when he came home early, you jumped up from your bed where you were playing and ran up to hug Jumin. Your phone screen was still on and he could see the character smiling seductively at you. He may or may not have stuck his tongue out at it for a split second (he had all the right to though, I mean why would you want a fictional character when you have JUMIN ajfbdbsb)

Saeyoung:

So, after the whole ME ordeal was over, you two still hadn’t really tied the knot. You weren’t even together.

Saeyoung had realized that he liked you, more than he’s ever liked a person before, and he felt that it was alright now...after all, there was no more agency, or weird cults or whatever.

He thought it would be fine.

Oh how wrong he was

Saeyoung does have his own way of showing his affections, by bulding apps or robots, anything of the sort! Yet you still didn’t seem to understand that he liked you

Instead you were head over heels for this one guy in a stupid game.

Listen, Saeyoung was pretty jealous alright? He kept trying to flirt but you didn’t understand, and you actually seemed to be in love with a fictional character! What was he supposed to do now?

Well eventually he figured out how to make his feelings clear for you.

One night, you opened up your game after a long day. You loaded your file and hummed the games background music as you progressed through the story, and giggled whenever your favorite character would appear.

Then, when your favorite cutscene was about to happen, your computer froze.

You frowned and gently tapped the screen, seeing if that would make it work. But no.

You panicked and clicked your screen, trying to restart your computer, to close the application, just to figure out what was wrong.

Then suddenly some text appeared, as if from the game, and a sprite you had never seen before (but was familiar) appeared on the screen.

Saeyoung?

You raised an eyebrow and went out into the living room, looking at the camera and trying to ask Seven what was going on, but he didn’t seem to reply.

You then grabbed your computer and kept clicking through the game.

“Y/N” it said. “It’s me! God7! Aren’t you feeling so grateful right now? Knowing that the one and only Savior of Justice is right here, inside your computer! Not everyone gets this sort of treatment you know? Anyway, the thing is, I hope you’re not mad that I hacked into your game. Oh, don’t worry though! I will fix it as soon as we’re done talking...well...the thing is....Y/N. I know it’s really weird that I’m talking to you through this, but I feel like it’s the only way I can get you to understand how you make me feel. Thanks to you I got my brother back, and the RFA is closer than ever. I don’t even have an agency to work for anymore. You’ve done so much for all of us. And the thing is, during that process I...I fell in love with you. I love your smile, your voice, your eyes, your face, everything. Yet you only seem to have eyes for that game character, hmph! How dare he try to get between my beautiful 606 and me!? To be honest...I don’t know if you like me back. For all I know you’re ready to marry that one guy, but I just have to be honest now, and tell you how I feel. That’s all. You don’t have to reply yet though! I’m sorry I can’t be like those guys in your games, but I’ll show you that 707 can be way better than them! Anyway, I think I’ve kept you for too long. I’ll go now...bye!”

A woosh sound effect was heard, and then your computer turned back to normal, your character smiling up at you, the romantic music playing on the background. But you just sat there, blushing.

Seven....liked you?!

Holy shit! And you didn’t even realize!

You quickly turned off your computer and ran over to the living room, getting in clear view of the camera. You waved your arms frantically and smiled at the lens as you said “I love you Saeyoung!”

Did he hear? You didn’t really know. Well not until you heard a knock on your door and when you opened, Saeyoung quickly ran over and hugged you.

He lets you still be crazy for fictional characters, the only rule is that you can’t buy any body pillows of them.

“Why buy them when you have me! Y/N, you know I’m the best quality for a body pillow” he winked at you, and you rolled your eyes.

In conclusion, the two of you always laugh remembering how you never got that he was flirting, and how in love you appeared to be with the fictional character.

[thominho-incorrectquotes]

Can’t you hear me screaming?

This is my entry for Thominho Week 2021, Day 3 “ Fake dating ”

Characters: Thomas x Minho

2933 words

Tags: Modern Au, College Au, Fake Dating, Childhood friends, Friends to lovers, mention of harrasment and bullying, Fluff and angst, demisexual Thomas, demiromantic Thomas

Summary:  “Kiss me.” Those were words Minho never saw coming for Thomas’s mouth, especially not in a party celebrating their success at the track meet. Not that he was one to complain that his lifelong crush suddenly wanted to be kissed by him. But coming from Thomas, it just didn’t make any senses.

Note:  This was supposed to be published yesterday, but I got busy. Hope you like it!

You can also read it on AO3 and ff.net

_____________________________

"Kiss me."

Those were words Minho never saw coming for Thomas's mouth, especially not in a party celebrating their success at the track meet. Not that he was one to complain that his lifelong crush suddenly wanted to be kissed by him. But coming from Thomas, it just didn't make any senses.

"What?"

"Kiss me!" He repeated over the loud music in the background. "Please~"

"I heard the first time! It's just… why?"

Thomas looked down in shame. "It's Gally…"

The young Asian sighed. "He did it again?"

Thomas only nodded.

Of course. Ever since Gally discovered Thomas never had been in a relationship, he made his duty to find someone for his friend. Because that's what friends do, right?

But it wasn't that simple.

In their group of friends, Minho, Thomas's best friend since childhood, was the only one who knew that Thomas was demisexual and demiromantic, which meant that the young man could only develop sexual and romantic attraction to someone if he had a deep emotional bond with that person. Along with that, the boy was extremely uncomfortable with everything that has to do with romance and sex, which made Gally's attempt at finding him someone extremely unwanted and unpleasant.

However, telling the tall blond boy about Thomas's sexuality wasn't an option, at least in Thomas's mind. And Minho perfectly understood why.

Back in High School, when Thomas first discovered his sexuality, a dude named Eric overheard a conversation between the brunet and his best friend. He then proceeded to mock Thomas, saying that he wasn't a real man for having no interest in sex, suggesting to pay someone to have sex with him to "cure him", saying he was sick and needed to go to a psychiatric hospital, and other horrible things. Worst, he got the whole school into it. If some people didn't care at all, many, mostly Eric's friends, bullied Thomas to no end, pushing him, mocking him, touching him in places he didn't want to be touched… The day Minho had to save his friend from being assaulted was the day Thomas had enough and changed school. The Korean followed him to this new school where they met their actual group of friends with whom they later on went to college with.

But the experience was traumatizing enough that Thomas kept his demisexuality and demiromanticism hidden. He didn't want to face something like that ever again.

"Please~" Thomas said again. "I can take it anymore! If we pretend to be boyfriends for a while, Gally would drop it."

Minho felt a headache coming up. The alcohol he had been drinking didn't help.

"That's your solution? Fake dating?" the runner mocked. "Thomas, we're not in a shucking romance movie. People don't do that in real life. May I also add that kissing is not something you like doing?"

"It's the only solution!" Thomas argued. "I tried to tell him I wasn't interested! So many times! But he didn't listen. Just now, he introduced me to that girl - Brenda I think - and she practically threw herself at me! You know how much I hate it…"

Minho gritted his teeth in anger. Some people never learned. He pushed back memories of a younger Thomas, face wet with tears, in the school washroom, after another harassment.

"Do it for me…" Thomas pleaded once again, knowing the Korean would eventually give in.

Another sigh. "Okay…"

That was the worst decision Minho ever made. He was in for a broken heart.

Ever since he laid eyes on Thomas back in elementary school, he knew what he was feeling was special. At the time, he didn't know how to distinguish romantic and platonic feelings and sure wasn't aware that two boys could be in love since LGBTQ+ rights weren't as advanced. But he still knew that he wanted to be around that boy forever.

It's been years know, and he was falling in love with his best friend more and more each days. When Thomas told him he was demisexual and demiromantic, it had been a big hit for Minho because they were best friend, they had the strongest bond ever, and if Thomas wasn't in love with him still, he would never be. He tried to stay strong, dated few girls and guys, but nothing that lasted because he could not get over his best friend. He was the only one…

And now? Thomas wanted him to pretend to be his boyfriend?

That was life laughing at him.

"He's looking at us!" Thomas suddenly urged, looking at the sea of people, forcing Minho out of his thoughts. "Kiss me now!"

He wasn't allowed a second thought, wasn't allowed to change his mind. He quickly grabbed the brunet's hips, bringing him closer, and leaned in.

Once he touched Thomas's lips, something broke inside of him. Why did it feel so right? Why did it feel so good? From that moment on, he knew no one else could ever replace Thomas.

Minho wasn't going for a deep or passionate kiss, but to his surprise, it was the boy in his arms who put more pressure into the kiss, who moved his mouth. He guessed it was only to make this whole thing more realistic.

They parted few seconds later. Thomas was smiling.

"Thank you."

He left Minho there, going back to the party. As if he was in a shitty romance movie, sounds came back to his hears. He looked around. Nobody had apparently seen them. Except from a tall blond man.

He saw Gally coming his way and immediately felt the need to leave that party. But he was supposed to go back with Thomas, so he couldn't yet.

"Park!"

Minho felt a headache incoming.

"Would you care to explain?" Gally asked as if he had just been slapped in the face.

"Explain what?" the young man replied, annoyed.

"That!" He basically yelled, pointing at Thomas who was now talking to Newt and Alby. "Since when are you two a thing?"

Minho hesitated a moment. Should he tell the truth? But this thought was pushed back. He couldn't betray his best friend.

"Since a while, shuck-face" He replied, harshly, annoyed at everything and everyone, including Thomas who always had a way to make him do anything.

"But why did he not tell me? I wouldn't have tried to find someone for him if he did!"

That was the last straw. Minho was now furious.

"He did tell you! He told you to stop!" He shouted, not caring that some people were now staring at them. "But did you listen? No! If someone don't want a relationship or don't want to talk about theirs, you should respect that, asshole!"

He couldn't stay here any longer. Spotting his best friend, he heavily stomped towards him before taking his arms, forcing him to follow. "I've had enough, were going back home."

"But…"

"No."

Okay. He was that mad. Over the years, Minho had learned to control his hot-temper and knew when to leave before doing things he would later regret. Thomas understood that if they stayed, the Korean would probably beat the living out of Gally. So he followed, waving at Newt and Alby, before going back to the small studio apartment he was sharing with his friend.

"I'm sorry" he said on their way back, "it's all my fault."

The dark-haired boy seemed calmer, but he still pressed his temple before answering, an old habit that helped him calm down. "It's not your fault Tommy, it's Gally who's an asshole and can't get a hint."

"But I still kinda forced you to-"

"Stop that. I made my decision, okay?"

Thomas was relieved. He hated when his best friend was mad, especially at him.

"So…"

Another sigh. "Yeah, I went with your idea… I'll pretend to be your boyfriend…"

The boy almost threw himself at his friend, thanking him by a hug.

"You're the best! Thank you so much Min!"

"Yeah, but you have to do all the dishes from now on for that."

Thomas pouted, but he only got a glare back.

"Okay, okay, I'll do that. I guess it's the least I can do…"

…

The next day, they were bombarded by messages from their friends. They were freaking out, asking when everything started, why they didn't tell them and how they should totally tell the whole story. There was also Newt saying it was about time and Minho didn't know how to feel about that.

But for now, everything was a mess.

On their usual Sunday brunch with the boys, all those questions were popping off again. Minho, who was busy massaging his temples, let Thomas, who was sitting next to him, closer than usual, do all the talking. He didn't say much, only the basics, about how they just didn't feel like sharing this information yet, that they wanted to explore that new thing between them without anyone interfering.

For someone who always claimed to be uncomfortable with romance if he wasn't romantically attracted, Minho was really surprised at how at ease Thomas was talking about it. Maybe he prepared a speech?

And when the boy suddenly kissed him on the cheek, it took all his will power to not jump in surprise. Hoping no one noticed his stiffness, he took the brunet's hands in his and smiled, pretending to be a good boyfriend.

"Aww, look how cute they are~" Frypan teased.

"Yeah" Zart added with a wink. "I now understand why you guys wanted your own apartment, you must do it a lot, right?"

Oh. Minho didn't about that. Of course that now they were "dating", people would assume they're having sex. And sex was a hard topic for Thomas, even if he once told him that he really wanted to do it one day, if he ever get sexually attracted to someone. The Korean looked at his friend, worried about him, guessing he hadn't anticipated this comment too. He saw him blushing and looking down, probably embarrassed, but he didn't say anything. Minho lightly squeezed the hand he was holding, showing his support.

The conversation thankfully drifted and Minho was finally able to relax for a bit.

…

They kissed again at another party thrown by someone Minho didn't know. His friends just told him the track team was invited so he kind of felt obligated to go. And he was annoyed as hell.

So many people, some he didn't even know, commented on his "relationship" with Thomas, some dudes even saying low key homophobic shit, and some girls commenting on how "hot" it was that too attractive guy were dating.

This was hell. Of course it wasn't the first time he received those type of comments, as he has been out as bisexual for a while now, but it was just getting on his nerves and he so desperately wanted to leave this party.

Finishing the cheap beer he was drinking, he was suddenly pulled by Thomas in a secret-not-so-secret area.

"Kiss me."

"What?"

It was a repeat of last time. When Minho had agreed to this masquerade, he didn't thought he would have to kiss Thomas again. The first time had been painful enough.

"Gally doesn't believe in our relationship, he thinks it's fake…"

"And we have to kiss to prove him? Should I remind you that this whole thing is indeed fake."

"I know, but please. For me?" He seemed desperate.

Looking around, he realized that Thomas chose the perfect spot. It was intimate enough to seem like they wanted some kind of privacy, while also allowing anyone who was looking to see them.

Spotting a tall blond looking at them, he sighed.

"Okay."

And then he pinned Thomas to the wall and kissed him. At least, Gally would get a show and would maybe let his friend alone.

Ignoring the pain in his chest, ignoring the thoughts that he would never get that again, ignoring that it was all he ever wanted, he lost himself to Thomas's lips.

Going deeper, pressing their bodies together, he kissed Thomas like he always wanted too. It was passionate, filled with sparks along with a warm feeling in his guts. He never wanted it to stop.

Realizing what he was doing, he released the boy. Thomas was blushing hard and was looking everywhere, but at Minho.

Klunk. He fucked up.

He made his best friend uncomfortable, which was the least thing he wanted to do.

"U-uh, t-thanks" the brunet said before leaving Minho there, going back to the party.

Let's just say, the way back home was very awkward.

...

They acted like nothing happened. It was better that way.

However, in the eyes of their friends, they were still dating. And Minho couldn't take it anymore. They still went on with it, hugging, stealing a kiss or two, adding PDA to their already existing friendship.

And Minho felt so bad about it. It felt like taking advantage of Thomas. He hated how much he enjoyed having his "boyfriend" in his arms, how much he enjoyed kissing him, how much he enjoyed everything.

Because he knew Thomas didn't and that was the worst feeling.

So when he proposed Minho to go the party after their track meet, like tradition obliged, the young man refused.

"But… why? Gally will be there and-"

"No." Minho interrupted him. "No. I can't."

"Can't what?"

The Korean pressed his temples before answering, knowing his heart would shatter in few seconds.

"I can't do it anymore."

"Can't do what? Fake date me?"

"Yes."

"B-but…" Thomas stuttered. He was agitated, panicked even. "W-what about Gally-"

"I don't shucking care about Gally, Thomas." He interrupted again, speaking louder. "I. Can't. Do. It. Anymore. Do you understand that?"

The brunet was now distressed.

"B-but, please!" He begged. "Please Minho! Don't…"

"NO! Stop! I can't, okay?! I can't!"

"Why!?"

"Because I love you!"

The words left his mouth involuntarily. Realization hit him as Thomas's eyes widened.

"Shit." He said. "Shit, shit, shit."

He grabbed his head into his hands, pressing hard, clenching his eyes shut, hoping this was all a dream and that he didn't just confess to his best friend.

"You… you love me?"

Minho was on the verge of tears. He was going to lose his best friend. "Yes…" he still admitted softly, because he could not deny it any longer.

"And I can't pretend to be your boyfriend anymore because it just feels like I'm taking advantage of you whenever we're hugging or kissing" he added. "It feels so good, yet so wrong because I know you don't like it, I know you're not attracted to me, and I'm here taking advantage of the situation while making you uncomfortable and-"

"You're so dumb."

Minho raised his head, finally looking at Thomas who was definitely calmer than before.

"You're so dumb" he repeat. "I would've not asked you to do that if that made me uncomfortable. In fact, I was feeling bad because it was like I was forcing you to do all that, but I couldn't stop…"

He paused, biting his lips as his friend looked at him with surprised eyes.

"In fact… I thought that maybe if we pretended to date, it was my only chance at dating you because I never thought you could love me…"

At that, Minho was immediately at the brunet side, stroking the few tears that were on his cheeks, tears the boy probably didn't even noticed.

"Oh Tommyboy…"

"I'm sorry… I should've told you before. You're my best friend. The most important person for me. We have the strongest bond. Of course I love you…I can't see myself with anyone but you… but I thought that if I told you, we would lose what we had and I didn't want that… I'm so sorry…"

"Shh, stop…" Minho whispered while taking the young man in his arms. "It's my fault too… I was scared of losing you too, so I didn't say anything… I'm sorry…"

Thomas pressed his face in the Korean's chest, and Minho almost died. He was allowed to hold his friend in his arms. He was allowed to hug him, kiss him… love him.

"I'm sorry…" he murmured again. "I love you so much…"

They ended up on their couch, cuddling, with Minho pressing soft kisses on top of Thomas's head. Because now, he could.

He could drown him in affection if he wanted too.

"How long?" Thomas asked, breaking the silence. "How long have you been in love with me?"

"Since forever, shank."

The boy beamed. "For real?"

"Yeah…"

It was now Thomas's turn to kiss him passionately, and this time, there was no holding back. Tongues danced with each other, hands were everywhere, feeling everything. It was desperate, needy, and so earth-shattering. It was everything they need.

When they separated, breathing hard, only love could be seen in their eyes. And their smiles shined like the sun.

"You know" Thomas started "I love kissing you…"

Minho raised an eyebrow, and by his smirk, the brunet knew he shouldn't have said that. "Oh yeah? Does that mean that I'll also get to have sex with you?" he teased.

Thomas rolled his eyes, but the Asian knew that it meant yes.

"Now?"

That got him a slap on his chest.

"I'm joking! You know I'll be fine with just being able to kiss and hold you and that I would wait forever for you."

"I know."

"Great. Also know that I'm never letting you go, sorry shank, but you're stuck with me."

Thomas winked at that "That's what I want."

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Thomas's experience about his demisexuality and demiromanticism in this fic is heavily inspired by my own and does not reflect all demi-aroace experiences.

Thank you for reading!