#I mean I've been feeling it here in vancouver but man

[nicklloydnow]

"Two Modern Noh Plays" by Yukio Mishima presented by Midtwenties Theater Society & 2019 Vancouver Fringe Festival

“POET: Listen to me. . . . I am just what I seem, a threepenny poet, without even a woman who'll look at me. But there's something I respect-the world as reflected in the eyes of young people who love each other, a hundred times more beautiful than what they actually see—that I respect. Look, they're not the least aware we're talking about them. They've climbed up high as the stars. You can see the glint of starlight under their eyes, next to the cheeks. . . . And this bench, this bench is a kind of ladder mounting to heaven, the highest lookout tower in the world, a glorious observation point. When a man sits here with his sweetheart he can see the lights of the cities halfway across the globe. But if (climbs on the bench) I stand here all by myself, I can't see a thing. . . . Oh, I do see something—lots of benches, somebody waving a flashlight—must be a policeman. A bonfire. Beggars crouching around the fire. The headlights of a car. They've passed each other now and are heading toward the tennis courts. What was that? A car full of flowers. Performers returning from a concert? Or a funeral procession? (He gets down from the bench and sits.) That's all I can see.

OLD WOMAN: What rubbish. Why in the world do you respect such things? It's that same silly nature of yours which makes you write sentimental poems that nobody will buy.

POET: And that's exactly why I never invade this bench. As long as you and I are occupying it, the bench is just so many dreary slats of wood, but if they sit here it can become a memory. It can become softer than a sofa, and warm with the sparks thrown off by living people. . . . When you sit here it becomes cold as a grave, like a bench put together out of slabs of tombstones. I can't bear that.

OLD WOMAN: You're young and inexperienced, you still haven't the eyes to see things. You say the benches where they sit, those snotty-faced shop clerks with their whores, are alive? Don't be silly. They're petting on their graves. Look, how deathly pale their faces look in the greenish street light that comes through the leaves. Their eyes are shut, the men and women both. Don't they look like corpses? They're dying as they make love. (Sniffs around her.) There's a smell of flowers, all right. The flowers in the park are very fragrant at night, just like those inside a coffin. Those lovers are all buried in the smell of the flowers, like so many dead men. You and I are the only live ones.

POET: (Laughs.) What a joke! You think you're more alive than they are?

OLD WOMAN: Of course I do. I'm ninety-nine years old, and look how healthy I am.

POET: Ninety-nine?

OLD WOMAN: (turning her face into the light) Take a good look.”

“OLD WOMAN: I know what the face looks like of someone who's come back to life—I've seen it often enough. It wears an expression of horrible boredom, and that expression is what I like. . . . Long ago, when I was young, I never had the sensation of being alive unless my head was all awhirl. I only felt I was living when I forgot myself completely. Since then I have realized my mistake. When the world seems wonderful to live in, and the meanest little flower looks big as a dome, and flying doves sing as they go by with human voices . . . when, I mean, everyone in the whole world says "Good morning" joyously to everyone else, and things you've been searching for ten years turn up in the back of a cupboard, and every girl looks like an empress . . . when you feel as if roses are blooming on the dead rose trees, then—idiotic things like that happened to me once every ten days when I was young, but now when I think of it, I realize I was dying as it happened. . . . The worse the liquor, the quicker you get drunk. In the midst of my drunkenness, in the midst of those sentimental feelings and my tears, I was dying. . . . Since then, I've made it a rule not to drink. That's the secret of my long life.

РОЕТ: (teasing her) Oh! And tell me, old lady, what is your reason for living?

OLD WOMAN: My reason? Don't be ridiculous! Isn't the very fact of existing a reason in itself? I'm not a horse that runs because it wants a carrot. Horses, anyway, run because that's the way they're made.”

- Yukio Mishima, ‘Sotoba Komachi’ (1956)

[clonesupport]

thank you @sstewyhosseini for tagging me to this little interview game! it was fun hehe

I'm sure this has gone around quite a bit already, I'm late to the party TwT so i tag anyone seeing this and hasn't done it yet and wants to!

finally finished with school and visiting my parents so i now have time😌😌 gonna do this with Marcy cuz she needs more content and she has been plaguing my mind

Name?

(smiling and confident) "Marceline Kelly."

Are you single?

(smugly) "Nope."

Are you happy?

"Depends on what we're talking about. My relationship? Absolutely. My career? Fuck yeah. Happy with the state of this world? That's a whole other story."

Are you angry?

"Sometimes, like doing jobs that goes dirty. But as of right now? Nah, I'm content."

Are your parents still married?

"Oof, if they were still alive I'd place my bets on yes they would be."

Birth place?

"Canada. Vancouver specifically. City 'o glass."

Hair color?

"Turquoise-blue. I'm naturally a dirty blonde though, hella dirty (laughs) almost looks like a light brown sometimes but I swear I was born a blonde."

Eye color?

"They were brown, I've got kiroshis now so platinum on black optics."

Birthday?

(laughs) "April 24th, you don't gotta know the year."

Mood?

"Sexy?"

Gender?

"Cis woman."

Summer or winter?

"Oo winters always and forever, I miss the snowy winters back home."

Morning or afternoon?

"Afternoon baby, that's when I get to have fun."

Day or night?

"Depends, days are nice because I get to spend them with Vik, relax and do whatever I want. Nights I get to perform and feel truly alive, I guess it all comes down to how I'm feeling that day."

=EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE=

Are you in love?

"Absolutely" (smiling endearingly)

Who ended your last relationship?

"Yeesh, I did, and helluva time that was."

Have you ever broken someone's heart?

"Maybe, I don't care to think about it though, it's all in the past now. Besides I don't got time for that, I have someone else in my life that deserves all my time and devotion. Why would I spend it thinking about how I did someone dirty? This is Night City, you're bound to get your heart broken, and a few bones too."

Are you afraid of commitments?

"I used to be, Vik changed that."

Have you hugged someone in the last week?

"Oh yeah lots, Viktor gets all my hugs, he acts like he doesn't have time for them but I know he likes them. Hugged him just ten minutes ago."

Have you ever had a secret admirer?

"In my line of work, I'm sure I've got tons. They can admire all they want, that's all they're ever gonna get, my heart belongs to someone else. (winks)"

Have you ever broken your own heart?

"Aw man, I didn't I ever let myself get too attached to anyone to get my heart broken in love. But through any other means? Definitely."

=SIX CHOICES=

Love or lust?

(smirking) "Why not both.~ Definitely both."

Lemonade or iced tea?

"Oh I love an iced tea."

Cats or dogs?

"I miss dogs, always wanted a bernese mountain dog. But I guess that one random stray cat is all we get now and I'll take any animal I can get, tired of people nowadays."

A few best friends or many regular friends?

"Hmm, well I got myself a best friend, I can't have more than one best friend or else that defeats the purpose of a 'best', so regular I suppose."

Wild night out or romantic night in?

"Ah shit give me both. Usually they start as a wild night out which ends with a wild night in. (wiggles eyebrows) Viktor knows what I'm talking about, right baby? (looking off to the side to see Viktor chuckling behind a face palm) Yeah, he knows what I mean. (winks)"

Day or night?

"For sex? Ugh both. Oh you mean just in general?-"

=FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS=

Been caught sneaking out?

"'Course."

Fallen down/up the stairs?

"Oh my god both, all the time, Viktor can attest to that good god. Being honest here I don't even need stairs to fall, it just happens."

Wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?

"Yuhuh, that's how it started with (points to Viktor while clicking toungue)"

Wanted to disappear?

"Hell no, I wanna be known."

=FOUR PREFERENCES=

Shorter or taller?

"I guess taller, but I was never picky."

Intelligence or attraction?

"Viktors got both so honestly it's hard to say."

Hook-up or relationship?

"When I was single, relationships. But now definitely relationship, and I wouldn't change it for the world."

=FAMILY=

Do you and your family get along?

"We did yeah. We were a happy family. (smiling fondly at old memories)"

Would you say you have a “messed up life”?

"(cackles) Boy is that an understatement."

Have you ever run away from home?

"Nah, I've always liked where I was, no matter where it was."

Have you ever gotten kicked out?

"Nope."

Do you secretly hate one of your friends?

"If you even wanna call some of them friends, I consider them links for possible job opportunities, work partners."

Do you consider all of your friends good friends?

"I wouldn't say all of them, but the ones within my close circle yes absolutely."

Who is your best friend?

"V."

Who knows everything about you?

"Viktor, and I mean everything. (smiles proudly)"

[idkwhattitlevsblognamemeans]

2024-04-30 I had the idea moments ago as I was writing in my journal how maybe typing my thoughts out would be faster than handwriting. I feel like my thoughts go very quickly and they jump around a lot so the faster that my fingers go the faster I myself can ride their train. I also had the thought "how fun journalling is". I think I file away the activities that I do by what chunk of time they take up in my day. And above I was going to suggest that I should chunk in journalling as a part of my day. I forget that 15 minutes is a long time and the shortest amount of time known to man. I hear 15 minutes and I do not believe that I would have the time to set up and take down a 15 minute activity. Which means that either a have to also include set up and take down of said activity also have 15 minutes each. Time to do the activity = set up (15 mins) + do activity (well now that I've set it up, I might as well get carried away and do it for ??? amount of time) + take down (anywhere from 15 to 5 years). hus any activity that I do is upsetting because what the fuck is that. GOing to the gym also includes

get chagned or find whatever you need to take with you

make sure you have electronics, oh sometimes I need to charge my headphones etc

Some of my friends are writers, some aren't. I can tell which ones are which.

I love the writers in my life because of the way that their minds weave their words to not only communicate a message but also, to personify the experience of receiving that message through the energy (vibe) that their words give off. Incredible stuff (Shoutout I love you S4m and NotGrettaDot)

I have been thinking about going to circus school in Vancouver I think I should write that down somewhere so I make sure to google when to apply. I am a grown adult lady and I have a full time job that I haven't signed the contract for yet however, has been promised to me verbally and through email. Technically I don't have a job after next friday.

Heres something else that I want to see if I can do: I want to see if they'll let me push back my start date to the indeterminate position and extend out my finish date at my current position.

I am currently sitting and thinking the thoughts that I should be having before bed. I don't know when I started to resist these thoughts, and I don't know when resisiting and escaping them was so important. All of these are very reasonable thoughts that I'm having. What if I was just stupid this entire time. I kept overthinking and thinking about how I was supposed to act and how to make that best line up with what my values and who I am. But right now I feel quite devoid of ego, I feel like I have found my calling. I am simply going to have a personal blog and I can come back to and add too as time goes on. A giant diary entry with myself.

The longer I keep talking to myself, the better my thoughts become. You need to get rid of the dirty dishes and the clothes on the floor. These make up the base tier of maslows hierarchy of thoughts, two meager examples in the everyday, mundane thoughts that crowd out the deeper ones. Before you can achieve those, all the common ones must be expressed and let die for the time being. Next come the feelings. The feelings I have about the everyday thoughts is the next wall to break through, I then examine them and either: what I can do about them. I'm not sure if I ever get the part where I feel my feelings. Maybe that what days like this are for: for feeling all of my feelings? and feeling strange and weird in my bedroom for a few hours. I think I feel better having written out these thoughts, it's like I've pulled them from my mind.

I wish I started timing when I sat down at my laptop. I think it's only been about 20 minutes I really felt in the zone the way I do with aerials.

I like having the absolute certainty of what I'm going to do next. That why I liked flying trapeze so much and why I like traveling with Gianna. I am actively having thoughts about what is actively happening in my life. And I guess in my body too. So maybe when random thoughts pop up its my body processing a feeling related to that thought in the background. I feel like I am sitting here and I am a disembodied brain controlling a pair of hands. I want to take a screenshot of this moment in my life and its also kindof trippy because I'm basically watching a live transcipt of my brain. I wonder if I could add a metronome into this experience because the claking of the keys almost sounds like music. I wonder what there is to learn about me by reading my thoughts unfurl in front of me.

I like that I can re-read them. I just re-read the part a few paragraphs where I talk about maslow hierarchy of thought. first off, why do I switch from a "general" manner of writing into then secifically me? I realized that what I'm saying may not apply to everything. I like how my realisations immediately impact the action that happens next. I feel like I've had the realisation that I don't feel ready for the adult world yet. I want to be young and free and out in the world talking to people not sitting at a desk job. And I feel like If I went on like a 6 month backpacking trip, first off, who can say that they've done that, I'd love to document it, I think that I should be a youtuber but like in a for me way.

If you read this and you know me, no you don't

Here are somethings that are happening:

I just got back from my trip to england that I invited my MOM to. I think that honestly it was the best possible way for things to have gone. Also I really needed to hype up the trip before I went on it, because that extends the happiness that you receive from it. I'm going to Peru in June and being so certain about it and talking about it and making plans and thinking about what I'm going to wear is so exciting. I think you can thereby extend the hapines that you had in your life

I just moved for literally the 8th time in the past three years!!? I've been texting with England boy a bit since I got back and holy shit I can't believe it I feel like I'm a teen girl in a tween girl movie. I just used a fake name for someone. (it makes sense though, what if he gets upset about the privacy). and our last thread was me telling him about all my moves. For all your future addresses liz, heres a codified list of all your previous homes and thereby time eras.

September 2020 - April 2021 226 St Patty's with the slanted floors, depresso of the kitchen, Izzy and bed bugs. And also all the beautiful memorie that happened there too. The first time I took acid with Gianna and Depresso, made my big painting, went crazy and got a snake and started a garden in my room. Got really into sewing. That was a very chaotic me but I loved her, she was deeply mentally ill I think, had a lot less figured out than now but also more? She was living alone for the first time, I loved the freedom. I worry about myself for that reason a little bit. I love that with typing I can simply go back and finish thoughts that I started but then get derailed with. Does everybody experience that? I think thaat actually unlocks the chaos in my brain, I am simply don't let myself finish my thoughts before I get rammed with another one. Maybe I'm letting to many of the maslows hierarchy of needs level tier one thoughts enter my subconscious. I need to take myself more seriously. That called comitting. the reason I'm scared of commitment is becasue I don't know myself enough to commit. I'm scared that I'm going to make myself uncomfortable by putting myself into a situation in which I am stressed, depressed, anxious. But I have control over my life. I don't have to do that. Thats why I'm nervious about circus school and getting excited about it. Damn I think your core values can shift I have so much to say about that. That means I can shift this behaviour or idk thought pattern? too.

I think social media sparks thoughts so much, and its so quickly replaced by the next thought, that you end up having no thoughts at all. It maxes out your brains storage capacity (CPU or GPU idk) and only perceiving and being mind boggled stays. I don't like it when I don't have food in the fridge, it makes me feel unprepared. But being prepared means that you have to think ahead.

May 2021 - Aug 2021 226 St Patty's but in Chefs room lol strange times. Running throught the sprinklers in Major hills park. the videos and pictures of my past remind me about it and let me keep experiencing the joy that I experienced when that memory took place.

Aug 2021 - April 2022 Friel my first place that was a bachelor pad and I was there for 9 months and it felt like the first home that was all mine. I loved that I figured out the balcony door. Trotksy sideplot.

May 2022 - Aug 2022 St Patty's Round Two: Showering naked with Mario, what do you do if theres a naked girl showering in front of you? Sprinting in the rain at 5 am, chaos and lots of mess, vegetable garden in the back, sex on shrooms (this one is two moves becasue I moved rooms halfway through the summer)

Aug 2022-April 2023 Stanton: meeting MagicMan, shower raves

May 2023 - Aug 2023 Pig Pen: Band mates,

Aug 2023 - April 2024 Rideau:

May 2024 Vermont House: who knows.

Maybe I'll start an entry every morning and then add to it throughout the day as my little check-in point and add to it if needed and then post before bed

[bonvoyagenoona]

Now that the Seoul concerts info has been officially announced I'm glad to not be going 🤣 I'm sure I will explode if I'm not able to scream when Joon shows us that bod 😭 also, K-ARMY deserves to get this chance with them. As for a world tour, you bet I'll be there! I'm from Canada & unfortunately I don't think they'll be doing a stop here this time. But I will definitely come for US dates, I'm familiar with California so I will most likely go there when they come, but my friends & I also thinking of New York, New Jersey or even Chicago for a change. If we're ever in the same area again, I'd love to say hi. Also, I've been sharing you work with my ARMY friends & we've just about decided that we could start a podcast talking about The Road To You alone. 🤣🤣

HAHAHAHAHAHA my parents spent some good coin on sending me to lessons, so I won't say I'm bad 😅 the Titos and Titas probably did enjoy little Ruru's singing, but the awkwardness of sniffling from crying would have been hard to ignore. Little Ruru fought a lot with Mom cuz she wanted to play, not entertain 🤣🤣 Gosh, that song!! 'Ikaw' is such a difficult song to give justice to! The amount of times I've been asked to sing this at weddings and had to turn it down 😅😅 I'm sorry but ya girl cannot do that to Ms Sharon and Ms Regine hahahahaha

Talking about this makes me wish I'm not back from vacation so I could go out for some drinks and karaoke. But alas, all the fun will have to wait. I have quite a bit of Korean songs for karaoke night tho! My go-tos are Lee Sunhee's Fate, Meet Him Among Them and 나 항상 그대를, Ailee's I Will Show You, Park Hyoshin Wildflower and Davichi's It's Okay, That's Love. There's a few more that I'd like to learn tho. And as your for dream of Yoongi rapping with your rendition of Song Request, I feel the same with eight (MIN YOONGI WHERE NA YOOUU).

Eee so thrilled for the streams for the Seoul concerts, and yessss, it would be amazing to get to say hi!! Tbh, if they ever do go to Canada, I would very seriously entertain going to Vancouver or Toronto. I was born in and have family in Toronto, and I've always wanted to visit Vancouver!

Bahaha, aw, thanks for reading and sharing The Road to You 🤩 Your message about it really touched my heart, and it means to much that you enjoyed and felt that fic so deeply! I feel like it might be a rare thing, but the way you understood and saw the Yoongi chapter. Means the world.

Ahhh, I so see little Ruru! She is an artist! Let her do her thing, her way! And oh man, if you sing IU and especially Ailee, as a go-to, then you definitely have the pipes!! Lol how am I nostalgic for a karoke night with you when we haven't even met? But I guess that's the beauty of this wonderful bubble! It just feels like one big, fun karaoke night!

Hoping you're well! Sending you smiles from the couch as Yoongi gets your mics set up for your rendition of Eight!

[exoczn]

VERTIGO || CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER ONE • CHAPTER TWO • CHAPTER THREE • CHAPTER FOUR

m.list

Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader x Yuta

Genre: Angst, Fluff

warnings: none for this chapter

Plot: what happens when you feel like a failure yet again like always and you’re not enough in a new city and accidentally meet a stranger who is broken himself but changes your life along with his own by a short encounter near the Vancouver river

————————————————

   You woke around afternoon because you slept at 3:30 am and spent the last night listening to soft alternative music, drinking cheap wine and looking at the sky; it wasn’t starry in particular but you always liked nights like this.

   You get up to make coffee for yourself and your phone buzzes. 

Yuta: Heyyy 

Yuta: The party thing is still on, right??

 You suddenly realise that it's Saturday and start panicking. You go to your closet and start finding something to wear but you’re too confused and you feel nothing looks that good according to you. So you call Yuta immediately.

he picks up after 3 rings 

 "hello?? y/n, what's up? don’t say you can’t make it and break my heart.” he chuckles.

 “Hey no! I won't do something like that yEt but well anyway that's not why I called you. I called you because I’m confused as to what should i wear and i wanted to ask you, uhhh 

what would you be wearing?”

 “well it's just a bunch of rich kids renting an airbnb and throwing a party, nothing fancy?  He sighs and continues  “I’m literally so excited to see you again idk why but can’t wait”

You try for it to not affect you that much and stop yourself from smiling that much and continue “Yes me too”

  “anyway y/n I’ll pick you up around 10:30?”

“sure”

——————————————————————

 You started getting ready around 9 after having some leftovers from last night. You were wondering about how things in your life were going pretty smoothly and how Yuta was everything you wanted in a guy. It really had been a week since met him and he texted you the night you met him in the coffee shop. 

  You both talked about music, anime, how you felt about the city, he talked about japan and his old neighborhood where he grew up and realized you both were going to the same university and Mark too. 

   You looked yourself in the mirror. You were wearing your 560 levi’s and a black cropped tank with your chelsea boots. You wore silver hoops and a small lock necklace. You were about to finish your look with a clear lipgloss when you heard your doorbell ring and figured who it might be. 

 You finished applying your gloss quickly and rushed to open the door and saw him standing there with a smug smile on his face and his pretty eyes. His eyes were almost too pretty. He was wearing a black shirt with a pair of light washed jeans as well.

 “Oh my goodness you’re looking almost as pretty as me” he said, widening his eyes with an open mouth smile showing his perfect teeth.

Why is he so pretty? What's happening to you y/n?

 You rolled your eyes while laughing and said “ha ha ha right” sarcastically. 

  “And look! We’re matching! No wait… you copied me”

 “We’re matching, yes. I copied you, it's not even possibly possible einstein.” 

 “But anyway y/n, you look- “

  “Amaaazing, i know.” you both laughed.

  “Now, shall we?” He held out his hand and you took it.

-----

  You enter the place and see a tall guy with brown hair walking up to the two of you with a huge smile and hugs Yuta.

  “y/n this is Johnny, johnny this is y/n.”

    “Dude wow! She pretty pretty- “

  “TOLD YA” Yuta says while shrugging 

  “Hi Johnny and thanks” you shake his hand and smile.

 “Hey John, where's Mark?” 

 “You know he hates parties, he's probably in the balcony or somewhere drinking his beer.”

 You weren't much fond of parties yourself but you came anyway as you already had no social life here and didn't know anyone else other than Sehun who lived in front of you and Kaitlyn your college friend.  

  You played a round of beer pong with Yuta, Johnny, Taeyong (his other ‘bro’) and some other people. At this point you were somewhat tipsy and wanted to have some water. So you went to the kitchen to get some water for yourself and for some reason the kitchen was somewhat dark but illuminated by the light coming from outside so you didn't bother to switch on the lights. 

You walk inside, you hear somebody “Y/n?” You jump

  “MARK???!!” 

 “Yes its me, calm down.”

 “MY HEART WAS GONNA COME OUT OF MY CHEST, YOU DUMBASS!” you almost screamed

 “I'm sorry I must've startled you” he chuckles.

 “No shit sherlock”  you roll your eyes and he starts laughing, it's almost like he's squeaking. It's cute. 

 After he stops, there's awkward silence between the two of you. You gulp down the water in your glass.

  “So how are things going between you and Yuta?” he finally asks. 

  “Good” you nod your head “great, I mean. He’s a nice guy and he's funny but very cocky. I think that's why I like him that much.”

 He chuckles again “I know he can get very cocky but it is indeed funny. He might look like an asshole to people or intimidation but he's a good guy.”

  “What’s up with your ex thing btw? Do you still miss her or-” you try to make conversation and also you were genuinely curious about how he is coping up with it because the first time you saw him, he looked pathetic.

  “Oh no no i don't anymore, i don't care about her anymore and i've realized that the whole dating shit is not for me i guess. Plus i like being alone now, it's comforting and i don't have to worry about ‘how to tell her that i hate being around her friends’ thing.” 

 “Right” 

 “Also did i tell you that you look good with that haircut.”

 “Thanks” you smile. “My brother thinks i look like a 7th grader.”

 “No wayyyy. It suits you” he gives a genuine smile”

 You thank him and then you remember “Oh Yuta, Johnny and your other friends were looking for you!”

  You leave the kitchen with Mark and you see Yuta, Taeyong and Johnny near the staircase.

You walk to them and Yuta says “Oh markkk where were you? I’ve been looking for you since I walked in.” 

  “I was uh-”

  “y/n where’d you find him and where were you ???” yuta asks you this time.

  “I went to get water in the kitchen and i saw him there.”

   Yuta got asked, “Oh.. are you fine??!!” 

  You noticed him completely ignoring the other three’s existence which made you feel special but guilty for some reason. 

You shook your thoughts away and replied

  “Uhm yes i don't know, i'm good, just a little exhausted.”

  “Should i take you home?”  

  “No, it's fine, I can take the train and go back on my own.” 

  “It's not safe at this hour, I'll drop you.”

   With that you both take off after saying goodbyes to johnny, mark and taeyong. 

 ---------------------

MARKS POV/

 After y/n and Yuta left,, Taeyong went to get smirnoff and 

 Johnny asked,”Hey Mark! Uhm why do you like y/n by any chance too?” 

  He caught me off guard by asking that and there were sirens ringing in my head and i didn’t know how to respond to it but i knew that lying wouldn't be a sensible option because he would easily catch me in seconds but i still tried to act as if i didn't know what he was talking about and said

 “W-what makes you think that?” I fake laughed.

 “Listen bro idk how others didn't notice but you know you were being quite obvious. Like when he rushed next to her to ask if she's okay, your face screamed that you were sooo jealous, i don't know what you plan on doing next but i really suggest you talk to her about it bro.”

 “man, i thought of it kinda and tried asking her about what's up with the whole situation and honestly, she seemed to really like him and well i don't wanna get into whatever they have for each other by confessing it to her and like i don't even know her so it's just plain weird for me to think of anything.” I tried to justify what I was doing to him and it felt more like trying to justify myself. 

  I went ahead and told johnny about how we actually met and how back then i was a coward and not smart enough to say anything but i realized i didn't really get a chance to say something to her and started wondering about what johnny said. 

Was it that obvious? What am i trying to do? Am I a bad friend? 

 ------------------------------------

  You reached your building around 1ish and Yuta tried to ask you out on another date but this time he said it'd be a proper just you-and-him-alone-date and you thought it'd be cool because so far things were going too well and you liked him too.  

 It was weird for you to process how vocal he was about his feelings for you and you realized that's probably the most attractive thing about him, he wasn't playing games with your feelings like you're used to otherwise and it was nice for a change. 

    You would have your mind wondering about mark once a while but you’d force yourself to tap back into reality.  

[buddha-in-disguise]

This is how it's done

Episode 5.15 at last.

While the emphasis has been on Nia's story in this episode, the synopsis made it clear Alex, Kelly and J'onn had a secondary storyline running as well. So again we were eager to watch knowing they were finally getting more than a token few minutes together.

Did it deliver?

Oh hell yes.

You just have to look on Twitter to see the praise being heaped on it by fans.

But first let's get the elephant in the room out of the way. William.

The opening sequence as Kara is fighting with Nia, and Nia has to be the one reminding Kara she has a date? Already covered by me and others, but to reiterate: that does not give a vibe of someone excited to be going on a first date. You can't even use the excuse of her mind was on the fight, because so was Nia's.

As to Kara at her apartment with Alex prior to the date?

Those words, "Cancel it for me."

Lets say (for arguments sake) it is nerves again speaking. Maybe it is, but that she is even having those thoughts? That she completely forgot about the 1st date, and needed reminding? If Kara can't get invested in the date, how are the audience expected to become invested?

As for the date itself. Kara arrives.... having been told by Alex to wear the blue top because .... well reasons .... and she is wearing the purple? So, not wanting to go with the best look then?

I didn't mind the date per se, although I did wonder if Kara was simply trying to not show pool skills, because I can't believe for a second, with Alex as a sister, and the control Kara now has on her powers (worry over lack of control would be the only other reason for her hesitation that I can think of), Kara hasn't been pulled into playing many times.

Did I get a date vibe? No. I felt more bonding yes (like why has it taken until now to even vaguely have that much), but date? Nope. Still not feeling it. If any of the above was a one off instance, you could shrug it off. But all of them? Sorry but as I say, if Kara isn't that invested in a first date, then we can't be expected to be as invested. However, that isn't to say that William annoyed me. In truth having him more on the sidelines was a relief as it finally allowed others to get some much needed screen time.

The Nia storyline.

This is obviously one extremely close to me, as my husband is transgender, and we have other family who are also transgender.

Nicole's input was definitely felt. Some of the lines she spoke were ones we have said ourselves almost word for word.

This is a topic that is one I've been extremely vocal about, and one in particular I have spoken about (in the William and Kara at CatCo scene) is the figures for transgender people killed in the last year alone in the USA, but more importantly that this number is likely not a true representation as many who die are misgendered after death.

It was so important to show just how bad for the transgender community it is. And no, it wouldn't necessarily be a fact Kara would know. Even those in the LGBTQ community aren't always aware of these figures. As for William being the one stating the figures back to Kara, again in the context I had no qualms about it. In fact having a CIS straight man write the piece and be a supportive ally is an important message in it's own right. I was worried that wouldn't come across, but I felt it did.

If ever there was a line that spoke volumes in this weeks Supergirl episode it was this:

"They want us to be invisible because of their own fears, they want to erase us so...... we need to shine even brighter." - Nia Nal

And shine Nicole Maines (and Roxy Wood, because the additional line about being a Black transgender woman - take my heart, stomp over it, then expect me to function), did. Both deserve so much praise on the way they delivered their performances.

I genuinely cried at some of this weeks episode, because the experiences have been ones we have faced as a transgender household. Being white does afford us a privilege that Black transgender people (especially the women) don't have. But as I say, it has been something I've been vocal about for a long time.

Lastly Kara and Nia on the balcony. Holy mother of god (or goddess), tears. Again. Nicole and Melissa once again were so good it felt like a punch to the gut. Kara wiping that tear off Nia's cheek. Big ugly sobbing from me. Gah! Just ....

Now Alex and Kelly. While I'm still craving a nice intimate atmosphere at home with them, having had so little of Dansen (and Kelly) it was a relief that for once Kelly wasn't given diminished screentime. Not only that, she was instrumental in helping Alex navigate through the VR world.

Alex having that PTSD flashback to being in the tank. Whoa, finally acknowledging it affected her and obviously still does. I loved how Kelly is so good at helping Alex maintain her equilibrium. You could tell it wasn't just because of her training or profession, but as a girlfriend who knows and understands how to communicate to Alex in that moment of stress, much like Alex was able to realise Malefic was manifesting as Kelly in the earlier part of the season, simply because she knew her girlfriend well enough.

Watching Alex train to get used to the Martian weapon, felt very reminiscent of S1 where Alex was training Kara early on. It was good to see her off balance for once in her training, as she has always shown a confidence in her ability until now. For those who complain she brought up wanting to be back at the DEO, as someone who has heavy military presence in our family (for at least 4 generations on my maternal side), I can safely say, going from military (and remember the DEO is recognised and spoken about in canon as being a military operation), and suddenly and unexpectedly thrown back into civilian life is one heck of an adjustment. It's an adjustment for most even when they know it's coming. To be so abrupt, so unexpected? Alex is going to want that structure back, and have that support around her. It is absolutely not unrealistic for her to feel this way or to talk about it. I would've been more surprised if she hadn't.

"And this is my gun."

Alex giving no crap. The whole rescue sequence was a joy to watch.

If I had a complaint, as I mentioned, I would've loved just a moment of real quiet intimacy between Kelly and Alex. We've barely seen anything of that sort. I hope we get something next episode (which also looks amazing from the trailer).

I could go through the episode and pick up so many times on how good it was. It was so much, I know I will have forgotten something I wanted to say. But I'm exhausted (almost no sleep will do that to you, damn being in the UK and these stupid o'clock viewing times), and it was so much to unpack.

Brainy, was barely in the episode but damn, so lovely (& heartbreaking) to see him give the information to the NCPD to help against transphobic attacks.

Onto a side plot, but finally we have more about Leviathan.

Leviathan have those bodies suspended.

What if William dies in 5.19 and becomes one of those suspended bodies for 5.20 or was supposed to, as Nicole mentioned on her Instagram story they still had scenes to film, and a couple were pretty amazing? With Staz back, would it have involved him, possibly as a sleeper agent? I've touted this idea before. While I would prefer that a MOC isn't cast into being a bad guy again, or killed off, I would more than happily see him simply go back to London and The Times. But I guess we wait to see what happens there.

But if, like Russell in 5a, he becomes an unwitting agent of Leviathan & a bad guy, cue fight scene, possibly in a VR setting? Maybe? Who knows.

Last but by no means least - they killed off Jeremiah. Since we're not entirely sure if Cadmus operated in the same way on Earth Prime as they did on Earth 38, we don't yet know the circumstances behind his death.

Will we get more explanation about it? Honestly I'm not overly bothered unless it helps serve a current storyline. Merely because episode numbers are running out, and it does at least bring us closure on his character one way or another. Something a lot of us have questioned for so long now.

As for complaints, the only ones expressing any real disappointment have been fans who have either regularly attacked other fans (especially those of in the SC or Dansen fandoms), or the outright transphobic users (I won't call them fans), who as the episode makes clear, are everywhere. The transphobes come out in force everytime with Nicole, so it isn't a surprise to see them again. As Nia says, it what transgender people face on a daily basis.

Plus with no Lena in the episode, it helps show that fans didn't need a Lena/Kara centric episode for this to garner such positive reactions, particularly from the LGBTQ fans. In some ways, as many have been saying (yes even SC fans), this Lena drama has long since gone by its sell by date and not having Lena once more stuck in her laboratory wasn't missed. And god, I say this as a huge Lena fan. I still want her on screen of course, but we need progression on what is happening with her. Both Lex and Lena have felt stale of late, and while I know it changes as we get into the last few episodes, I can truly say neither was missed this time. And before anyone jumps in, no this isn't bashing SC (I still ship both Dansen and SC, as well as Brainia), or saying SC shouldn't happen, or Lena is evil, or not needed. I don't think that at all. I merely am getting tired of a merry-go-round on Lena in her laboratory that we've had of late, & the only interaction has been with Lex. Time to break her out of that cell!

I don’t know what they were putting in the water in Vancouver when they did the Batwoman and Supergirl episodes this week, but they both had me simultaneously laughing & crying! It looked ugly for a minute there.

Both were outstanding episodes.

As much as I've had my criticism over some of this season, when Supergirl get it right like they did here, they soar! This was one of my top episodes for the entire series.

And despite all the news in the world right now, Supergirl trended on Twitter again.

Gif courtesy of @ Daily_danvers on Twitter.

[omglr]

dumb as bricks dude

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like feminism.

Stranger: hi

You: hi

Stranger: asl

You: 32 F

Stranger: m 22 canada

You: cool, i am also in canada

Stranger: Vancouver

You: Toronto

Stranger: cool

Stranger: Feminist?

You: yes

You: you?

Stranger: im a man so... DUH.. NO

You: kurt cobain was a feminist

Stranger: never knew that

Stranger: our retard PM is a feminist.

You: eh... is he though?

Stranger: claims to be but hes useless regardless

You: yeah

Stranger: so why are you a sexist?

You: lol

You: in what way?

Stranger: feminism is hatred of men

You: i like kurt cobain

Stranger: hes dead

You: yeah, he was good dude though

Stranger: yeah.. but feminist men are pathetic

You: mmmmeh

You: it kinda sounds like you're the one who is sexist?

Stranger: how so?

You: cause you think that feminism is about the hatred of men, and that men who are feminists aren't manly enough

Stranger: exactly

You: and that says something about how much you value women

Stranger: feminism is about female superiority and any man who supports it needs to grow a pair of balls and realize hes the superior one

Stranger: I dont value women.

You: yeah

You: so you are sexist

Stranger: and women dont value men so...

You: mmmm, that's also pretty obviously wrong

Stranger: sure

Stranger: lets say a woman has a boyfriend.

then she meets a better looking, stronger richer man whos showing interest in her, shes dumping the current BF for the new guy.

You: women rarely value sexist men, so maybe you just didn't recognize that your attitude was effecting how people treat you and creating a feedback loop

Stranger: LOL I avoid women now

You: yeah, maybe you need to get a hobby?

Stranger: I have hobbies

Stranger: I've had 3 girlfriends, and guess what

You: are you MTGOW now?

Stranger: yeah.

Stranger: its freedom

You: have you considered castration?

Stranger: why...

You: that's freedom from sexual needs

Stranger: I can jerk off

You: focus on playing the chello or whatever

Stranger: sure

Stranger: if women were not so shallow and heartless I wouldnt be MGTOW

You: i think that's the self fulfilling prophesy speaking

Stranger: well, im not good looking, im not 6'2 and I dont make $100K a year after taxes, im of no interest to a woman .

You: you're 22 though

Stranger: I know. and?

You: dudes still look like teenagers at that point

You: at like 35 you're probably gonna look pretty good

Stranger: not really, people have guess that im 30...

You: eh, i mean, it just seems like you are giving up too early and getting advice from other dudes who also gave up

Stranger: I gave up 3 years ago

You: you are gonna let a teenager tell you how to live?

Stranger: no

Stranger: I decide how I live

You: yeah but its never to late to change directions

Stranger: also, my dream job is bus driver, I cant say how it is at the TTC, but here, the pay is awesome, the benefits are great, the pension is fat, once im older and driving a bus women will probably want me, but not for me, for the perks that come from being with me, the fat pay checks, the family benefits etc

You: yeah that sounds good

You: go for it

Stranger: yeah, so, sorry girls, im not interested in you.

You: its ok not to be interested in girls

Stranger: im not gay

Stranger: im just not a betabux

You: it is a bit weird to think women are mostly interested in money though

Stranger: but its the truth

You: like, women are interested in feeling secure

Stranger: because god forbid she has to work to support herself

You: and couples who are financially insecure tend to have a hard time unless they work together

Stranger: ok

You: like most women have goals and shit they want to do with their lives, no body is really expecting to be a stay at home mom in this economy

Stranger: i know

Stranger: but they want a man to get the money to pay the bills while her money goes for fun stuff

You: i've never been in a relationship like that

Stranger: then you've never been married

You: i have been married

You: have you?

Stranger: FUCK NO

Stranger: why would I do that?

You: it just seems like you were speaking from some authority

Stranger: I know what a marriage is like

You: how?

Stranger: by listening to other men

Stranger: its bullshit, nothing but being controlled by a wife

You: lol, ok

You: those dudes probably shouldn't be married

Stranger: and she'll get bored and cheat sooner or later

You: did your parents get divorced?

Stranger: never married

You: where they partners?

You: were^

Stranger: they were dating.

Stranger: Anyway the 3 girlfriends i had were nothing but lying whores

You: and this was before you were 19?

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: your point?

You: teenagers are dipshits

Stranger: sure

You: and treat eachother terribly

Stranger: thats odd, I treated them fine, I guess im just smarter than they are

You: mmmm, maybe

Stranger: obviously

You: you sound pretty arrogant though

Stranger: oh well

Stranger: women need to learn how to respect men and how to treat a BF

You: ehhhhhh ok, what do men need to do?

Stranger: nothing, they are fine

You: how come their needs aren't being met then?

Stranger: because women dont value men

You: perhaps...

You: but maybe its because men need to learn how to communicate?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: woman -is mad-

man "are you ok"

woman- still mad- "im fine"

but men cant communicate... ok then

You: like the men who are married and being controlled by their wives and are expected to pay the bills and shit

Stranger: its either that or get divorced and pay alimony and child support

You: could have had conversations with their partners about responcibilities

Stranger: LOL a woman taking equal responsibility

You: eh, unpaid labour is often taken for granted by dudes

Stranger: aww, did she make dinner?

You: shrug, i don't know, I'm giving you a lot here

You: but its boring me,

Stranger: well women are boring

You: like, you can keep repeating sexist shit until you die alone and unloved

You: like, i don't care, really

Stranger: im not good looking, im not worth of love

You: dude your self esteem is bonkers

You: stop listening to men who tell you shit like that

Stranger: but they are right

You: stop listening to women who tell you shit like that

Stranger: but women know what women like

You: focus on your bus goal, read some fiction by diverse authors, take a fucking pottery class, stay off incel and mgtow message boards

Stranger: but MGTOW and Incel is the truth

Stranger: I am an incel

You: get your shit together, drop your shit attitude and stereotype nonsense, and change your stupid life

Stranger: nah

Stranger: I live the truth

You: next time i'm in vancouver I'm gonna slap the shit out of any busdrivers over 6 feet

Stranger: have fun judging their height when they are sitting, plus any new buses purchased after 2018 have a driver barrier

You: they all take smoke breaks

Stranger: no

You: ok, well, i'm not actually going to, i forgot what the point of that comment was

Stranger: lol

Stranger: I'll be too busy driving to have a relationship

You: maybe go see a dominatrix or something where the value exchange of sex for money is clear and you don't have to get all resentful about it

Stranger: nah, I like keeping my money

You: mmmm you ever go on rollercoasters?

Stranger: long ago

You: you ever go for a fancy dinner or a 3d movie?

Stranger: no and yes

You: back massage or dentist appointment?

Stranger: no

You: yeah, 22 and you haven't seen a dentist?

Stranger: well long ago

You: before you had to pay for it?

Stranger: yeah

You: you still got your wisdom teeth?

Stranger: nope

You: lol, lucky you have a mom to take care of your teeth

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: Anyway when im driving a bus I wont have time for dating

You: oh yeah?

Stranger: yah

Stranger: there is so much available OT to do so when will I have time to try (and fail) to get a girl

You: when you are walking your dog in the park

You: like a responsible adult

Stranger: I dont care for pets

You: ok, well, i've spent a lot of time here trying to problem solve your stupid shit, do you have any questions about feminism?

Stranger: why is feminism even needed?

You: to fight for the rights of the marginalized and prevent social regression

Stranger: sounds BS

You: meh

You: its pretty awesome honestly

Stranger: not its not

Stranger: women are not oppressed, they are just greedy and demanding

You: lol, but imagine their was a mgtow/incel support group for woman

Stranger: nope

You: except not shitty

Stranger: sure

Stranger: dating is shit

You: https://www.mmiwg-ffada.ca/

Stranger: what is that?

You: website for missing and murdered indigenous women and girls

Stranger: dont care

You: ok, so you don't care about the parts of society where women are oppressed

Stranger: nope

You: no wonder you didn'

You: t notice

Stranger: ever seen a homeless man?

You: yeah dude

Stranger: "oppressed" men

You: capitalism man and conservative pollitics man

Stranger: ok?

You: socialist feminism is about getting the needs of homeless men met

Stranger: nope

Stranger: socialism is bullshit

You: lol

You: but a workers union for bus drivers?

Stranger: yes

You: bs or no?

Stranger: nope

You: welcome to the labour movement

Stranger: socialism is bullshit.

You: its fuckin socialism

Stranger: "free" "free "free"

You: you dork

Stranger: "Socialism cause I dont want to work, I want it free, paid for by those who do work"

You: you don't actually know shit about it

Stranger: sure

Stranger: lets raise taxes for the rich so you dont have to pay for shit

You: mmmm, well that doesn't sound too bad

You: are you rich?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: you know why those people are rich?

You: exploiting the working class

Stranger: nope, working hard

You: no dude, they extract value from the work and pay them as little as possible

Stranger: well, get a new job, maybe a union job, they pay more

Stranger: stop being lazy

You: lol, dude, if you don't want your boss to exploit you and take 95% of the value created by you working your ass off, guess what helps with that?

You: fucking forming a union

You: fucking socialism

Stranger: yeah, but not socialist bullshit

Stranger: "boo hoo, I have to work hard boo hoo"

You: UNIONS ARE SOCIALIST

Stranger: nope

You: lol, ok

You: tell that to the guys when you are applying for your union job

Stranger: I will enjoy my union job

You: and you'll be an ignorant hipocrit

Stranger: I'll be richer than you simply by working.

You: lol,

You: jesus

Stranger: so stop being a crybaby and get a job

You: i have a job, and i'm in a union

You: but i know what i'm talking about

You: i'm not regurgitating capitalist bullshit

Stranger: no you dont, you seem to think those who work harder than you should pay for your stuff

You: lol dude

Stranger: what

You: i don't know where to start

You: you are just really thick

Stranger: nope, just smarter than you

You: ok, so remember how you had your mom pay for your dental care

Stranger: yeah

You: remember how your teeth are growing out of your skull

Stranger: yeah...

Stranger: get on with it idiot

You: and how if you had head trauma you could get free health care at a hospital

Stranger: GET ON WITH YOUR POINT IDIOT

You: but if you have a tooth problem you have you pay hundreds of dollars

Stranger: whats your fucking point moron

You: dentistry could be socialized like the rest of healthcare

You: and it would be better for society

Stranger: "boo hoo, I dont wanna pay when I have too, boo hoo

Stranger: "

Stranger: "make it free cause I dont wanna pay, wwwaaaaa"

You: and it wouldnt cost people much and it would imrpove the quality of life of lots of people

Stranger: sure

You: that's the kind of free shit socialists want

You: not Ipods

Stranger: sure

You: although, with the savings... you could buy an ipod

You: but then apple would also get taxed properly

Stranger: they want free college, higher taxes for those who work so social assistance rates can be raised for those who cant be bothered to work

You: and pay for dentistry....

Stranger: aww, did you have to pay a bill like an adult?

You: dude, you already said you have never paid a dentist bill in your life

Stranger: but did you

You: yeah I'm 32

Stranger: yeah but you act like a child

You: dude you don't even understand taxes

Stranger: i do

You: yeah, you are worried that your taxes which you pay for will be used for something usefull for society

Stranger: but I' be paying MORE taxes, I dont want that

You: and you are worried that people who make millions of dollars more than you are going to have to pay more

You: progressive taxation doesn't work like that

Stranger: well, they earned it why should they have to pay more?

You: because they have extracted that value from the world, and that's what taxes are, for taking care of the world

Stranger: sure

You: yeah

Stranger: im not intrested in your bs

You: lol

You: i mean, you're a piece of work buddy

Stranger: thanks

You: i mean, you've got a lot of growing up to do

Stranger: I could care less what a socialist loser thinks

Stranger: I worked for it, its fucking mine

You: lol

You: jesus, ok

You: lets start over

Stranger: you want it? work harder

You: "I worked for it, it's fucking mine"

Stranger: yeah

You: yeah

You: agreed

Stranger: so you want something? work harder and earn it, dont expect someone else to pay for it

You: you get hired for a job flipping burgers

Stranger: no thanks, I can do better than that

You: you work 9 hour shifts, and cook 300 burgers an hour

Stranger: is that your job?

You: you get paid, 12 dollars

You: no i'm an electrician

Stranger: then why do those shit jobs matter?

You: but this person gets paid 12 dollars for making 300 burgers sold for an average of $4 each

Stranger: your point is?

You: they process the food that made the company $1200

Stranger: ok and?

You: and got paid 1%

Stranger: your point is?

You: the $1200, I WORKED FOR IT, I PRODUCED IT, ITS FUCKING MINE

Stranger: nope

Stranger: you get paid $12 per hour worked, not per item cooked

You: yeah dude its the same shit, you are worried about the people who took 99% of the wealth from a shit job employee having to pay more taxes and give poor people dental care

Stranger: if they want to get paid more go get a higher skilled job than flipping burgers and salting fries

You: it can be a fucking hard job

You: like, seriously watch a fast food employee next time you are in one

You: they are always having to do shit

Stranger: I did, she was cute and bent over

You: yeah, you should have paid her for that

Stranger: nope

You: you stole a look

Stranger: paid her to pick up trash from the floor? I believe the company pays her for that

You: again, the wealthy will pay their employees as little as they legally can, and keep as much money as they can and pay as little taxes as they can

Stranger: oh

Stranger: well

Stranger: get a higher paying job?

You: and you think that these people are working harder

Stranger: there is no skill in burger flipping

You: when they are just working hard enough to exploit resources of other people and hoard wealth

Stranger: sure

You: so yeah, burger flipping is a job that is grueling and bullshit and annoying

Stranger: well, get a new one

You: but the metaphor is applicable to most jobs

Stranger: sure

You: you figure out how much the company is making off of you, and you realize it is a lot more than they are paying you and they should be respecting you a lot more for doing your job well

You: that's why unions are fucking awesome

You: because they can protect you from exploitation, get you better wages and services

You: and fight for you if you are wronged

Stranger: yeah, so those burger flippers can go get a new union job

You: the burger flippers can also start a union, but mcdonalds is pretty keen on union busting

Stranger: I've had to repeat my order to some of the morons working there and sometimes they still cant get it right, so why should they be paid more?

You: again, you don't have to focus on burgers,

You: like, shit man

Stranger: oh well

You: anyway, your bus job sounds cool and i hope it treats you well and you learn from your coworkers what the union is doing for you

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: because I have the high skill required to drive a bus, I will be paid more than a no skilled worker in a store or Mcdicks

You: i mean... some would try to say that driving a bus doesn't take much skill at all

Stranger: explain to me how to do a right turn while driving a bus,

You: like it's basically sitting on a couch

Stranger: sure.

You: i mean, what goes on a double mcRib, no L, ex P,

Stranger: dont know, dont care

You: yeah, dude people undervalue the labour of workers

Stranger: sure

Stranger: "duuurr I put cheese on a burger"

You: "I made 600 burgers today, and some shithead started screaming at me for getting onions when he asked for no ketchup"

Stranger: well, do your job right

You: lol, show some compassion and empathy in every aspect of your life

Stranger: nah

You: yeah, dude

Stranger: if they cant figure out what "no ketchup" is they are not too bright

You: i think you missed the part where the guy didn't ask for no onions

You: he only asked for no ketchup

Stranger: oh well I dont care

Stranger: get a better job

Stranger: I've seen quite a few downright useless fast food workers, so tell me why they are worth more than $12 an hour?

You: your anecdotal evidence is as flawed in observations of fast food employees as it is with women

Stranger: sure

You: you have no empathy and only think about yourself

You: you are short sighted, ignorant and arrogant

Stranger: I had to repeat my order of "2 double cheese burgers and 1 regular sized M&M Mcflurry " 3 times

Stranger: only to get slow service and an oreo Mcflurry

You: yeah dude, i had to repeat unions are socialism like 5 times and you still don't understand

Stranger: but unions are not socialism you fuckward

Stranger: if you want to get paid more EARN IT

You: fuckin' you want me to crack open wikipedia

Stranger: dont care

Stranger: I dont care what some socialist moron thinks

Stranger: burger flippers are skilless, so they get low paid

You: ok, but you understand the central theme though right?

Stranger: high skill= high pay

low skill = low pay

You: a burger flipper does a variety of tasks for 8 hours a day and gets paid 1% of the value they produce, or less

Stranger: burger flipper has no usefull skills

You: YOU EAT THE FOOD DIPSHIT

Stranger: and?

You: THEY MADE THE FOOD FOR YOU!

Stranger: making food isnt hard

You: YOU DIDN"T MAKE THE FOOD AND YOU GOT FOOD

Stranger: they are paid to make the food

Stranger: I bought the food

You: ok, so you paid a company 99% for them to exploit a worker tyo make you a burger

Stranger: yeah, so what

Stranger: why do you even care? its not your job

You: we move up, and look at the day shift managers, the night shift managers, they get paid quite a bit more than the employees but aren't working much harder

Stranger: managers are overpaid slackers

You: they might actually be working less hard

You: yeah, and above them, managers of the local franchises, and up ward and upward to a ceo who is perhaps having a meeting once a day? and getting paid how much more than their lowest employee

Stranger: oh well\

Stranger: I dont care about the useless burger flipper

You: again, its not burgers, its everthing

You: its you right now

You: you don't even have this kushy bus job

You: with union support

You: you are probably unemployed

Stranger: you realize their job is pretty much

cooking food

taking out trash

sweeping the floor,

stuff you do at home, its simple shit

Stranger: I have a union job

You: what is your job?

Stranger: loading trucks

You: and that takes how much skill?

Stranger: a fair amount

You: in what way?

Stranger: gotta load 4 trucks, sort it according to the load sort, keep up with the pace of freight coming to you

You: but anyone with muscles could do it?

Stranger: if your loading a company truck keep count of the number of stops, if its owner op dont count it

Stranger: muscles and a brain

You: ok

Stranger: harder work than burger flippers

You: i mean, I was gonna scrutinize it further to make the point that your job seems pretty simple but you have lots of insider knowledge about the challenges of the job to say otherwise

Stranger: exactly

You: it could be argued that it is an unskilled labour possition though

Stranger: harder job thus for higher pay

You: maybe, or a labour rights movement that had your back

Stranger: no the unskilled is unloading trailers, all it takes it watch your head, watch out for the guy your with and put the labels facing up onto the conveyor

Stranger: still not socialism you idiot

You: i mean, i don't need to argue that rain is wet

You: you can deny it if you want

Stranger: nah

You: you can even call me an idiot for saying the rain is wet

Stranger: your dumb enough to think the morons at fast food deserve higher pay so I cant take you seriously

You: but it only reflects on your arrogance

Stranger: sure

Stranger: "2 double cheese burgers and an M&M Mcflurry"

I had to repeat it 3 times and they still couldnt get the order right.

but you think they should be paid more?

You: i guess should have picked a better metaphor

You: you are really hung up on that eh?

Stranger: its an example to prove you wrong

Stranger: picking up an empty cup from the floor is so hard, oh poor girl

You: it proves nothing really

You: except that you hate poor people

Stranger: it proves they are not worth more than min wage

You: and that they deserve worse treatment than wealthy people

Stranger: no, they just need to work harder to get higher pay

Stranger: also whens the last time you were in any fast food place?

You: and that caring about the needs of the marginalized and downtrodden is outside of your wheelhouse, and that you should eat shit and die alone

You: simple as that

You: fuck off

You: and die

Stranger: lol guess what

You: mgtow to hell

Stranger: I used to be homeless

You: yeah, sounds made up

Stranger: well its not

Stranger: you see, I did what was needed to get off the street, finish school and get a job

You: and you have internalized all sorts of capitalist bullshit along the way

Stranger: so what

Stranger: hard work is all you need

Stranger: get a skill

You: lol

Stranger: why are bus drivers paid so much?

high skilled job

gotta deal with shitty people sometimes

You: you're still pretty thick

Stranger: also, since you dodged my question, most fast food workers are high schoolers anyway, so who cares if they make min wage, most of that money is just blown when they hang out with friends anyway

You: ok, but that's not actually true

You: most fast food employees are between 28 an 40

Stranger: odd. I was in Mcdonalds today, the oldest guy there looked 20

Stranger: hmm, then how come I've seen people from my old highschool working there? they were a grade or two below me as well...

You: cause of the neighborhood you live in doesn't represent the majority of fastfood service jobs?

Stranger: I've been to quite a few and its all highschool looking kids workin there

You: and so you know a lot of workers who are 18-20 but that doesn't actually mean that's the average

You: https://groundswell.org/fast-food-misconceptions/

Stranger: want higher pay? get hire skill

You: 40 percent of the workforce in the fast food industry is 25 or older, and the average fast-food worker is 29 years old.

Stranger: get a skill

Stranger: https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/best-paid-job-skills

You: but also, tax the rich and give services to poor people

Stranger: so tax those who work hard and have skills to pay for things for people who are lazy and have no skill.

Stranger: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/these-10-skills-you-need-to-earn-higher-wages-may-surprise-you-2017-04-18

You: alright lazy brain, i gotta go to bed

You: got work in the morning

You: gotta put these skills to work

Stranger: get a skill to get higher pay

Stranger: dont want to flip burgers? get a skill

You: dude I'm an electrician

Stranger: exactly, so your paid more than a burger flipper cause your usefull

You: not everyone can do this work, we need a diversity of workers doing all sorts of shit

Stranger: there are plenty of skilled jobs

You: you're dumb as bricks but you are getting paid decent with your loading job

Stranger: yeah, because its skill

Stranger: and im not dumb as bricks.

You: i want a society that takes care of you even though personally I hope boxes crush your legs and a woman shits in your mouth

Stranger: lol

Stranger: see, your so bitter

Stranger: you cant accept that not everyone agrees with you and you freak out

You: yeah, its just cause you are 22, a bitter misogynist and unable to process new information

Stranger: I have processed it

Stranger: and its bullshit

Stranger: you dont get high pay for low skill

You: eh... your bs assessment skills are weeeeeek

Stranger: everyone knows that to get high pay you gotta work hard

Stranger: take from those who work to give to those who dont, your fucked in the head

You: aight duder

You: eat shitbricks

You have disconnected.

[jacklesrpg]

Texting & FaceTime || Beckles (Oct 12)

Jensen: I don't know why I thought this run was a good idea

Ashley: Because it's for charity and despite everything you have a big heart and want to give back.

Jensen: My legs stopped working

Ashley: Go sit in the hot tub

Jensen: I'm not home

Ashley: Then I don't know what to tell you

Jensen: I wasn't asking you to tell me anything, was making conversation

Ashley: Oh

Jensen: I can leave you alone though, don't mean to bother you

Ashley: It's okay, I'm not really doing anything anyway

Jensen: Is Brady still up?

Ashley: Yeah, he's sitting here playing

---

Jay: Instead of replying to the text Jensen started a FaceTime call.

Ash: Ashley jumped when her phone started ringing in her hand. She answered the call, flipping the camera so it showed Tristan instead of her. "Tristan, come talk to daddy."

Jay: Jensen expected to see Ashley so he was a little disappointed he was passed right off to their son. "Heeeey little man! Hope you're bein a good boy for mommy."

Ash: Tristan's eyes lit up when he heard Jensen's voice, "Daddy!" he said excitedly as he dropped his toys and stood up walking over to Ashley. Ashley turned the camera around so Tristan could see Jensen and Jensen could see him. She stayed out of the frame as best she could. "Daddy home now?" Tristan asked, trying to give the phone kisses.

Jay: Jensen laughed wholeheartedly at his son trying to kiss the phone, "No buddy, I'm not home yet. Soon though. Real soon."

Ash: Tristan leaned back into Ashley as he tried to get to his dad through the phone, "Daddy home." He said again, smacking the phone. "Tristan Brady, we don't smack mom's phone." Ashley said in a quiet yet firm voice.

Jay: "I hear that beautiful voice, where's the beautiful face that goes with it."

Ash: "Don't do that Jensen," she said sadly, "You called to see Tristan, not me."

Jay: "I called to see both of ya."

Ash: "I don't know if I want to see you right now though." she admitted.

Jay: Jensen sighed, "Kay."

Ash: "What do you want from me?" She asked him, trying to keep her voice normal.

Jay: "I don't know. I don't even know what I want from myself." He said honestly.

Ash: "Well when you figure it out, let me know."

Jay: "Can I see your face?"

Ash: Ashley sighed and moved herself so her face was in the camera frame. Her hair was messy and she had no makeup on. "Happy?"

Jay: He smiled, "Yeah, I am. Missed that face."

Ash: "Please don't do that."

Jay: "It's hard not to."

Ash: "Well try," she told him. "You constantly saying you miss me and you love me, makes this even harder. It isn't fair."

Jay: "I see us workin everything out. I told you it's just space. I'm not leavin ya."

Ash: "You're not the only deciding factor here Jensen. You don't get to make a unilateral choice here."

Jay: "You sayin you wanna walk away?"

Ash: "No, that's not what I'm saying. But this is something we both have to decide. Things have got to change before I'll even think about coming back."

Jay: "Like?"

Ash: "I don't know right now, Jensen." she said with a soft sigh.

Jay: "I still think we need counseling."

Ash: "And how do you expect to do that? You're never home as it is. That's part of the problem. When you're not on set you're at the brewery or away at a con. I'm by myself ninety percent of the time and I hate it. I have no friends in Vancouver or Texas."

Jay: "My schedule isn't somethin that can change though so if it's always gonna be a problem I don't see us bein able to fix things."

Ash: "Then why suggest counseling?"

Jay: "I didn't know my schedule was a problem til right now."

Ash: "Jensen, I've told you before that I've felt alone because you're never around. You're solution was for me to spend more time at the brewery with you. That's not a solution."

Jay: "Yeah it was. You wanted to be around me more and I was givin you a way to do that. I was tryin to share somethin with you that's important to me and it hurt that you wanted no part of it."

Ash: "Being around the brewery means being around Danneel. I knew she would be in our lives because of JJ but I never expected you to go into business with her. How do you think THAT made me feel? First you cheat on me with her and then you go into business with her? That's shit and you know it. That would be like me going into business with Tyler. The only difference is I never cheated on you with him first."

Jay: "The brewery has been in the works since Danneel and I were married. It's not just me and her, her brother's involved too. This has been a dream of mine forever. I didn't think it'd be a big deal to follow my dream. She doesn't have to be there when you're there though."

Ash: "Yeah but you could have talked to me about it first. Instead I didn't have any say in it. You want me to be involved yet I was never asked my opinion on anything or even asked to go to the brewery until I said I wanted to spend more time with you."

Jay: He took a deep breath, "When you and I started dating the brewery was already being worked on, how were you gonna have an opinion on something that was started before you were in the picture? The more serious we got the more I expected you to include yourself and you never did and that's my issue. You took my name, you took on the responsibility of raisin my kids with me, you say you wanna life with me but you don't wanna include yourself in MY business when it because OUR business the minute we got married."

Ash: "You could have involved me in the decorating and the little things but you didn't. You never asked me to be involved in anything." She felt herself starting to get upset and took a deep breath. "It doesn't feel like OUR business, Jensen. It's yours and Danneel's. I'm no where in the mix."

Jay: Because you didn't put yourself in the mix. I shouldn't have had to ask you, you should have taken the initiative."

Ash: "It wasn't my place to shove myself in the middle of things. That's not who I am."

Jay: "And that's my biggest problem with you. I want you to shove yourself in my shit. I don't wanna have to beg you to be involved."

Ash: "If I do that then you'll be mad and say I'm trying to take everything over. I won't do that Jensen and you know that."

Jay: "No, I fucking wouldn't! I would be fucking thrilled! You don't know me very well it seems."

Ash: "And clearly you don't know me."

Jay: "You asked for more time with me I tried to give you a solution and it wasn't good enough for you. I tell you what I need and you won't even consider it because it's not what you do. How is that fuckin fair?"

Ash: "Asking me to be more involved with you and your ex isn't my idea of spending more time with you. You're asking me to go from being home alone with Tristan all day to being along in some back office at the brewery all day."

Jay: "I was askin you to be around more to help out so I can fucking be home more. Two people can get the shit done faster. Most of the time I'm there by myself or with Gino. Danneel is there when I'm in Vancouver. If she shows up when I'm there it's so I can see the kids for a half hour."

Ash: "I don't know how to do what you want me to do! I didn't graduate high school, Jensen. I got my fucking GED because my parents made me and I barely passed that. now you want me to do book keeping and shit? I DON'T KNOW HOW! THAT'S WHAT AN ACCOUNTANT IS FOR!"

Jay: "I never said you had to do book keeping. If anything you could help keep the office organized. We could've found you a task that you know how to do. I never would have stuck you with a job you didn't know how to do or felt uncomfortable with. I wanted to show you the books in case something happened to me but I wasn't gonna make you do them."

Ash: "I'm not qualified to do anything there Jensen. I'd just ruin everything you've worked so hard to build."

Jay: "Your negative attitude is another thing I can't fucking stand."

Ash: "I'm not being negative. I'm being realistic and honest with you."

Jay: "No, you're being negative. You have no self confidence and it's hard to be around."

Ash: "Then don't be around me." She said and hung up the FaceTime call.