#I mentioned that my husband nearly died of pancreatitis

[kit-williams]

Kinda shameless self insert? With my ADHD ass it makes it hard to try to do reader/yn fics so here's a shameless self insert and yeah anything I write is gonna be ADHD coded. First time writing for this fandom OH BOY and first time writing in awhile.

Some idea backstory its the year 2020-2021 but "Goblin" is from 2023 and suddenly a bunch of fictional men are real. This short is set after all the fun plot set up of "why they believe you" and dealing with your clearance having ass that can just open up lovely bits of information for them. (yes I wanted to skip the hard part of setting up plot) Oh and her phone still seems to be connected to back home so there was a fun moment of accidentally showing Soap his Wiki page "Why am I K.I.A?"

Goblin is Female, is 30, is American, was married, and has ADHD I guess you could say unreliable narrator too?

This is super unbeta read so I guess enjoy my insane ramblings

They really shouldn't make obstacle courses so much fun. I think as I just swing back and forth on one of the ropes over the mud pit, something I would worry about later. I couldn't stop this one impulse it just looked too fun and nobody was using it. I've seen soldiers just do a casual run through of it so why not just have a little bit of fun. I sigh as I continue to swing back and forth and spin slightly. There wasn't much for me to do today but Price was adamant on making sure I was earning some wage, but hard to keep a coding Goblin happy.

Was weird to find out that there was a version of myself here so no sense in going to try and woo my alternate husband... I've accepted the fact that this is not a dream... but hey I get to try and see if the lotto numbers from back home work here and I can give myself a nice stack of cash, Nikolai is such a wonderful man and knowing my dumbass I won't notice a damn thing. That's been the hardest thing... going from sleeping in a bed with another person to being alone... no warm body next to yours with an arm wrapped tightly around you. Muttering for you to not go to work and just stay home... god and living on my own for literally the first time in my life is going as awful as I dreaded. My nuro ass can't thrive alone only survive... momma raised a survivor but I was so use to not being in survival mode with my husband that it stung to go back.

At least Soap or Johnny was nice enough to stop on by occasionally of course he'd make it worse at times... triggering me and making me all antsy. Thank Jesus for Simon or Ghost... I couldn't tell if he was still mad at me calling him Simon when I first saw him but now he just helps. I think he was the first person to pick up the fact that I could hardly live alone.

I had to be thankful that Gaz and Price were married and that I didn't have the four of them mother henning no I only got two though. I continued to swing back and forth without a care in the world. Though I started to get a care... I looked down at the mud in the pit. It was a good drop compared to the side of the mud hole. Just a swing to the side. I gripped the rope tightly as I would move my foot out and get unbalanced but I was so focused that when I heard Johnny say if I needed help it made me discombobulated.

Ghost rushed over after hearing a distinctive shriek and Soap howling with laughter. He rushed over in time to see Johnny's face get covered in mud as their tech Goblin crawled her way out of the mud. How she just smiled at him as he walked over and she just simply shrugged. "Yeah not my smartest lack of impulse as I'm now muddy for the rest of the day. But! I did figure out my coding issue! 'Scuse me gentlemen!" His hand shot out before she could get too far.

"Yer not going to get the computer room muddy." Ghost said as if it was obvious.

"But I don't have a change of clothes and I have an inspired moment." Goblin said but let out her screech as she was just picked up and taken over to the women's barracks.

"You need to shower hen. I'll get you something while your clothes are tossed into the wash."

"Fine. But I'm blaming you when I forget my eureka moment."

"Yeah I can live with that." Ghost said pushing her inside to the showers.

-----------

Goblin was the best way to describe her. She was small, loud, and weird. Not given the fact she was from a few years in the future and the fact that they all existed as video game characters but her quirks, her knowledge, and just the way she carried herself. Soap and her could feed off of each other till she crashed and that is when Ghost would have to intervene. She spoke less and less about her life back home... the lads she left behind as it seems that life continued on and she was still there.

She was giving up on the fact that this was a dream as well... and for the two of them she was opening up how painfully lonely she was. She could see her old life right there being lived by another version of herself. For Simon he knew for her it was akin to the trauma he went through... all of her nets and family and friends basically gone. Ghost could help her keep grounded and well Price offering her a job to have some cash for her to spend on hobbies helped. But more often than not she was at the base unwilling to go home alone where there was no one to soothe her mind.

Soap was eager to fill that void for her, perhaps it was misguided in the sense of he was thankful to her, but Ghost enjoyed the way they would just sit in silence and a few times she thanked him for just sitting in the same room as she played a game, drew, or whatever she did to stave off the pending breakdown. Though she joked that she was like that song Tubthumping she always got back up again. But Ghost was worried when she wouldn't bounce back.

[dcnativegal]

Compulsion & Identity

Ruminations of a Certified Alcohol & Drug Counselor--Intern

I’m sitting in one of the group therapy sessions with clients who have kept sober from a variety of substances for months or perhaps only days. They pee into a cup or suck on a saliva stick to prove their sobriety to me and their probation officers. They are biding their time and showing up and jumping through hoops that include community service, visits to Treatment Court, and paying off probation fines. Each one of them has harrowing stories. I have so much respect for them. Even when I know for sure they are flat out lying.

I’m trying to understand what it’s like, mentally, emotionally, and socially as they maneuver through their lives and all their important relationships as a sober person. We talk about it. One person admitted, I still don’t know who I am, sober.  I know I was funnier when I was high…

I’m learning all about “Substance use disorder” which is the newest term. (No longer abuse, and less use of the term ‘addiction.’) I have a stack of books with titles like “Buzzed” and “Uppers and Downers.” I remember from my early social work training that there is a stunting of brain maturation when a person starts using a substance regularly. Each of these people starting using as young teenagers. The growing human learns to navigate through life with the help of the mellowing effects of pot, the mania and energy of meth, the disinhibitions of alcohol. There are supremely stupid choices that are made under the influences.  They don’t know how to deal with frustration, with a broken heart, with the moments included under the umbrella: ‘shit happens.’

I don’t know anyone who deals with ‘shit happens’ perfectly.  Well, maybe the Dalai Lama, and the late great Maya Angelou.

My personal drugs of choice are carbs and yarn. Carbs may kill me in the end. I’ve developed pancreatitis, in large part because it’s a side effect of an injectable drug that worked well for me for a couple of years. The other part of why is, simply, gluttony. (Noun. Habitual greed or excess in eating. Ouch. Literally.) My side started hurting in December, and I self-diagnosed kidney stones, so upped the liquids. Didn’t get into see my family nurse practitioner until mid-January. NOT kidney stones but pancreatitis. What the…?  Clear liquids for me. Who knew that there are dozens of kinds of broth.  Although the pain did not disappear, it lessened, and the lipase and other lab values went down to normal when I stuck to liquids. When I eat solids again, the pain and labs worsen. So I’ve been off and on solid food for a while. Every one to two weeks, I give a couple of vials of blood and 3 hours later, my nurse scolds me. Kinda like peeing into a cup, or sucking a saliva test strip. Clean UA? Good labs? It depends on behavior.

Humbling.

A client ‘bangs’ (injects) meth. I indulge in a cookie, or three. Not equivalent, exactly. But pancreatitis is dangerous. Meth is, too.

When ‘shit happens’ to me, which includes simply a bad day, I realized some time ago that I have  a sense of entitlement, of somehow ‘deserving’ the special treat of new yarn, or a Peppermint Patty. Because…. Insert self justification here….  I can imagine that some of the same justification goes on in the mind of people who use meth or pot or beer compulsively.  “I’ve been good… It was a shitty day… Fuck you, bossy bitch, I’m going out… “  As I stand in the checkout line at Safeway, I’m like, I’m tired, just one Peppermint Patty won’t kill me…

Dark chocolate, ice cream, cookies. I’ve heard alcoholics say that if there’s alcohol in the house, it calls to them. Same for me with chocolate. Valerie hides it. At the moment, I think we are totally out. Which is good. (I found her stash. ‘Bye, ‘bye stash. I am a gluttonous theif.)  I’ve been keeping a pile of tiny chocolates in my office for my clients. I give up. They’re all gone now. I couldn’t resist them. I’ll put stress balls in the box that held the mini-snickers and Twix. The Twix were very popular. I was especially fond of the mini-Milky Ways with dark chocolate. Val discovered Russell Stover’s sugar free peppermint patties. Oh. My. God. They are now on the banned list, even though they are sugar free. Even after I start feeling sick, I can eat 10 at a sitting. Like the rat hitting the cocaine water until he dies.

I knew someone who had a compulsion to use pornography. The idea would take root and next thing, that person would be walking into a strip club. Feeling disgusted later, dirty and depressed, the urge would diminish for a while, until the next time. My basic feeling about this whole arena is: tip the sex worker very well and be respectful. But, the compulsion, if it harms relationships with real live humans outside the club, is a problem. Not to mention how porn distorts what men think women actually enjoy.

Cravings.

Chocolate or yarn doesn’t HAVE to be a problem, but for me it is. Everything in moderation, except for me with sugar or yarn. I can ignore a wine bottle. No interest in illegal drugs. But keep sugar away from me. And no more yarn… hm… until I hit the new Willows store in Christmas Valley again.  Seed planted, insert rationalization: I’m supporting an independent local business! (I think this is called ‘stinkin’ thinking’. )

What is your ‘self medication’ of choice, dear reader?

Weed, which seems to be the drug of choice for teens in Lake County is a mixed bag. Pun intended. It made me paranoid and more anxious than I already was when I used it in college. It’s legal in some states but federally illegal. The medical marijuana card is a great thing for those who need it. I’ve seen the videos with people who have Parkinson’s go from violent tremors to graceful movement. For young people, though, I’ve seen it among my kids’ friends, how all motivation seems to vanish. It is the slacker’s drug of choice. I have teenaged clients who are mandated to see me because of weed, and they pee into a cup. I want for them every ounce of motivation to get them out of poverty and do well in school, find a trade, make a better living than their parents.

Our group discussion gave me a chance to revisit my own struggles with identity, as well as my own compulsive behavior.  Perhaps there is a parallel between my deep discovery in my early 40s that I am really and truly gay and my clients’ growing familiarity with their sober selves. For me, it was 2003. My husband had given me permission to figure out whether or not I was gay, bi, whatever. He’d had a serious heart attack, and earnestly pointed out that life is short. What a gift. What insanity.  This journey led to the end of our marriage, which was a hard and painful process but also, to lives lived with authenticity. Thank goddess for therapists. The kids survived and thrived, and he has been with a lovely, gifted, hilarious and STRAIGHT woman for something like 10 years. I have been with the cowhand for nearly 6.

What made that part of my history relevant, perhaps, to the path of the newly sober, is that I had to regroup my identity. As my children’s father put it, I’d changed teams. Not only was I on a different team, that team had a culture, a lingo, a look and feel that was perceptible by something called ‘gaydar’ which I had the beginnings of but really needed to step up. I rented every classic lesbian movie I could find, and some of them were terrible, but all of them taught me something. As a feminine-appearing gay woman, I needed to learn about femmes and femme culture since I am so not a butch. I read Joan Nestle, founder of the Lesbian Herstory Archives, and the hilarious Leslea Newman who wrote, ‘Out of the Closet with Nothing to Wear’, and the classic, “Heather has two Mommies.” I watched lesbians, especially in lesbian spaces. I learned about my own body, my own range of gender expression.

I moved to the Oregon Outback to be with my sweetie full time instead of half the year, and out here, I miss gay space (like a gay bar, community center, or Pride event), other gay people, any tiny glimpse of a gender bending queer sensibility.

We all feel this way, in each of our identities. Jewish people feel more comfortable when surrounded by other Jews. Women feel relaxed when there are no men present, and vice versa. Alcoholics can avoid the stigma when they are with other alcoholics. Ranchers enjoy the company of other ranchers.

Just this past week I met, FINALLY, another gay person who lives in Lake County. This person is married, and so now I know there are FOUR GAY PEOPLE IN LAKE COUNTY.  We’ll have a tiny gay pride parade in our living room come June, with a very large rainbow flag.

For my newly sober clients, it’s an adventure to learn who they are with their families, with their wives or husbands or girlfriends or boyfriends, with their employers, at their church. To say to their children, “yes, I have messed up, and I’m getting it together. No need to be sarcastic with me. I am still your parent.” They seek out the company of others in recovery to survive. There are several twelve step meetings in the county, thank goodness.  Since all of my clients started using in their early teens, there is a lot of growing up to do, all the while they have very real and heavy adult responsibility. It’s a lot to manage, in a punitive and financially strapped environment.  

For the sober, a hot bath has to take the place of a beer, or a bowl. All of those strong emotions cannot be mediated by a substance. Frustration? Anger? Sadness? How does one deal with those without an upper or a downer?  And if I have a rough day, I do not have to buy a Peppermint Patty.

I seek to relate to them and their stories, even while I immerse myself in online courses about substance use disorder. It’s a bit narcissistic, I know, to search for my own parallel struggle to humanize theirs. But as Anne Lamott once so wisely said, I am the turd around which the world revolves.

On New Year’s Eve, I went to Soul Collage at Toni’s house in Paisley, and made a New Year’s mandala (which I shared a picture of, two posts ago.)  In the center is a primate surrounded by bananas, and around the primate were examples of embodiment, words of encouragement, and healthy foods. It was shortly into 2017 that I was diagnosed with pancreatitis. I am now FORCED by my side pain and bad labs to get my eating act together, out of the realm of gluttony. Be careful what you wish for.

I went to Soul Collage again recently, and created two cards to help me tell the story of my clients, and also my own story. They depict the journey from serious faces to happy faces, with stops at

·        Know thine enemy and maybe befriend them, (the man and the skunk, the user and the dealer, the lesbian and the Trumpette)

·        Find your people and cuddle up to them to rest (like a pile of kittens)

·        Be creative in all things, with colored pencils or your new sense of who you can be now

·        Get used to feeling your feelings including the negative ones. They will not kill you. Smoking or ‘banging’ them away is procrastination. So are Peppermint Patties.

·        Do the work. No way to short cut the work. Carry the water that needs carrying and don’t be a whiney child about it. I know it’s a bitch to be a grownup and exercise self-control when other people are allowed to be such pains in the asses!!! Remember: sometimes, I AM THAT BITCH.

·        Allow time for joy, for running free, for deeply enjoying pleasure that doesn’t carry guilt. Find that joy if it’s new to you, the guilt-free kind! (Salad? Sigh. Knitting with the yarn I already own? YES.)

·        Make a home within yourself if not in the outside world. Make that home cozy and full of love. Beautiful and familiar. Full of life and healing. (I’m ALWAYS working at this, the finding and maintenance of home…)

The journey to sobriety, to a whole and generous life, is not a straight line, more like a circle or a spiral, hopefully forward. All the same, as Proust said,

The real voyage of discovery consists in not seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.         

[superfranklymydear]

Moving On

I have spent the last year or so, deciding whether I could retire, and whether I should retire.  I must have interviewed dozens of friends and  acquaintances who are retired; some, my age, some a bit older.  Some have been retired for 10 years or more, some a year or two.  Some said, “You will know when it’s time”.  I waited, but didn’t get a sign.  Did that mean it wasn’t time? I don’t normally get those signs. Usually I overthink everything to death. I wait for a sign but it never comes, so I have to take matters into my own hands.  I interviewed people about their retirement--what was a typical day, how did they feel about being retired, and did they regret it.  The answers (and I’m not saying my friends are typical, but there were a lot of them) were probably about 98% positive.  They were busier than ever, they loved being retired, and I should definitely do it.  Several remarked that I lived in NYC and there would be a million things to do.  Truly, I expected more hesitant answers, but in fact, they were highly enthusiastic in nearly every case.  That gave me hope.

I started by asking my husband what he thought.  While he is a year older than me, retirement is the furthest thing from his mind.  His work (scientific research) is his life - his job is his hobby.  He told me he doesn’t know how to play golf, so what would he do? That is how he envisions retirement.  I don’t play golf either and don’t intend to take it up anytime now or in the future.  He told me the decision on whether to retire is mine. 

The next, and probably most important phase, was to look at finances.  I had a financial advisor run the numbers.  Not bad.  In fact, pretty good - at least better than expected! All that retirement saving was apparently paying off.  In addition, I’m in a State pension plan at work, and thought I had to work 10 years to be vested.  Retiring next year would only bring me to eight.  There’s something in the pension world called “service credits”.  You can buy them and add that to your service.  I found out I could buy additional service credits for similar work done in another state, but this was not as easy as it sounded.  Without going into boring detail, I successfully bought an additional two years of service credit - but it took several months of frustration.   I got to the ten years of vesting, which I then found out that I didn’t actually need because of my age!  Nevertheless, that part worked out.

That turned out to be the easy part.  The “can” was answered, but the “should” not so much.  I continued to overthink.  I waited again for a sign.  None came.  I should tell you, I love my job, but I also love doing other things and don’t have time for many of them.  I want to play more piano, I want to travel, see grand babies more frequently, and just have fun.  I tried envisioning staying another year, or two years.  That didn’t feel particularly good.  Maybe that was the sign.

During this time, my husband’s cousin, a vivacious woman in her 70s who lives on a boat with her 80-something significant other came to visit.  She is one of my favorite people who I don’t get to see nearly often enough.  I mentioned to her that I was thinking of retiring but didn’t know what to do.  She told me a story.  Back when she and her husband were in their 50s, they had a very successful business and worked very long hours.  After many tries, she successfully convinced her husband that they should cut back and semi-retire.  Shortly thereafter, her husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died.    Her next words were obvious, but for me, profound.  “No one knows how long they have.  I’m not telling you to retire, but I am telling you to do what you want.”  She is a person who has had plenty of difficulties in life, and yet has a positive outlook.  Her words continued to echo.  

I decided that although I enjoyed my job, I had limited time in which my health would continue to cooperate and that I could take advantage of the time I would have to do things other than work.  I did not want to wait until I became decrepit to stop working.  

Because I am the director, I gave my library board six months notice, plenty of time to find my replacement (although in reality my assistant director is super-able and waiting in the wings, and the board is happy to have her).  While they were surprised (why is everyone always surprised when you announce your retirement?) they took it well.  Next I told my staff, who congratulated me and moved onto something else.  I breathed a sigh of relief, and moved on to learning to play MahJongg, just like, as my daughter described it, “An old Jewish lady”.  And I’m proud of it. 

[fortlauderdalemodel]

Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin Has Died of Pancreatic Cancer at Age 76

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QUEEN OF SOUL ARETHA FRANKLIN IS ‘GRAVELY ILL’: REPORTS

PEOPLE STAFF

Aretha Franklin, the self-taught piano prodigy, vocalist and songwriter who first conquered the charts in the late ’60s and never relinquished her throne, died Thursday morning of advance pancreatic cancer of the neuroendocrine type, her publicist confirms to PEOPLE. She was 76.

“In one of the darkest moments of our lives, we are not able to find the appropriate words to express the pain in our heart. We have lost the matriarch and rock of our family. The love she had for her children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and cousins knew no bounds,” the family said in a statement.

“We have been deeply touched by the incredible outpouring of love and support we have received from close friends, supporters and fans all around the world. Thank you for your compassion and prayers. We have felt your love for Aretha and it brings us comfort to know that her legacy will live on. As we grieve, we ask that you respect our privacy during this difficult time.”

Funeral arrangements will be announced in the coming days.

RELATED: Remembering the Queen of Soul — Aretha Franklin’s Life in Photos

Aretha Franklin

Monica Morgan/Getty

RELATED: Inside Aretha Franklin’s Lifelong Need for ‘Extreme’ Privacy: It’s Been Her ‘Strategy’ for ‘Survival’ Says Biographer

The Queen of Soul had struggled with her health for years. A source told PEOPLE Monday that Franklin had taken a turn for the worse and that her death was “imminent.”

“She has been ill for a long time,” the longtime friend told PEOPLE. “She did not want people to know and she didn’t make it public.”

A musical phenomenon who crossed musical, racial and gender barriers, Franklin began her vocal career as a teenager, singing gospel hymns in her father’s Detroit church. From these humble beginnings she scaled to the very heights of stardom, scoring her first national chart-topper in 1967 with a searing version of “Respect.”

Since then, the artist has notched 77 Hot 100 chart entries, and earned an astounding 18 Grammys out of 44 nominations. In 1987, two decades after her first No. 1, Franklin became the first woman to be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, and was later named the Greatest Singer of All Time by Rolling Stone.

RELATED: Aretha Franklin’s Death Is ‘Imminent’ as Source Confirms ‘She Has Been Ill for a Long Time’

Aretha Franklin performs in August 2017

Cory Clark/NurPhoto via Getty Images

RELATED: Aretha Franklin Dead at 76: Celebrities Pay Tribute to the Queen of Soul

A source close to the singer spoke to the Associated Press on Monday to confirm that Franklin was “seriously ill,” although they did not provide any additional details as to the severity or the cause of the singer’s illness.

Showbiz 411 reporter Roger Friedman was first to report the singer was “gravely ill,” sharing that Franklin’s family were “asking for prayers and privacy.”

“I am so saddened to report that the Queen of Soul and my good friend, Aretha Franklin is gravely ill,” wrote Local 4 Detroit news anchor Evrod Cassimy on Twitter Sunday. “I spoke with her family members this evening. She is asking for your prayers at this time. I’ll have more details as I’m allowed to release.”

RELATED: Remember Aretha Franklin with the Queen of Soul’s Top 10 Greatest Songs

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Aretha Franklin

RB/Redferns

In February of 2017, the Queen of Soul told a Detroit TV station that she was retiring from music that year. “I will be recording, but this will be my last year in concert. This is it,” she said, though Franklin admitted she would perform at “some select things.”

Despite her failing health in recent years, Franklin returned to the stage in August for what would be her final public performance at the Mann Center in Philadelphia, despite noticeable changes in her appearance that caused concern about her well-being.

Aretha Franklin in November 2017

Invision/AP/REX/Shutterstock

She also sang at the Elton John AIDS Foundation’s Enduring Vision benefit gala in November of last year. Despite two concerts scheduled for March and April of this year, the singer was forced to cancel the shows.

“Aretha Franklin has been ordered by her doctor to stay off the road and rest completely for at least the next two months,” Franklin’s management said in a statement at the time. She was expected to release her next album, entitled A Brand New Me, in November.

RELATED: Teen Motherhood, Losing Her Dad and Her Quiet Health Battle: Aretha Franklin’s Personal Struggles

Aretha Franklin performing in November 2017

Nicholas Hunt/WireImage

In summer of 2011, Franklin performed live at several concerts and talk shows to promote her album, Aretha: A Woman Falling Out of Love”, looking svelte and healthy.

In April of that year, she sat down for an interview with PEOPLE just months after being hospitalized for an unspecified operation. Though she strongly denied having bariatric surgery, the singer — who had lost 85 lbs. — did not directly address the rumors that she had cancer.

“I feel fabulous, really,” she told PEOPLE. “And I’m so thankful to all of the people who said a little prayer for me. People at the check out line in the market were telling me that they prayed for me. It’s amazing how beautiful people can be.”

Aretha Franklin in 2012

Monica Morgan/WireImage

On Dec. 1, 2010, a vigil was held in Franklin’s hometown of Detroit after it had been announced she was headed to the hospital for unspecified surgery. Only the night before, Franklin was nominated for another Grammy, this time for her duet with Ron Isley, “You’ve Got a Friend.”

By the middle of that month, as news spread from family members that she was suffering from pancreatic cancer, Franklin was recovering at home, and saying she was up and about — and feeling better, too. In January 2011, the Queen went so far as to pronounce the matter resolved.

An electrifying stage presence who was also frightfully shy offstage, Franklin, under doctors’ orders, in November 2010 canceled all tour dates and personal appearances for the next six months — a sudden announcement that both disappointed and worried her fans, who could well see for the past few years she was not in the best of health.

RELATED: ‘Every Day Is a Gift’ and More of Aretha Franklin’s Deepest Quotes

Aretha Franklin at President Obama’s 2009 inauguration

Alex Wong/Getty Images

Awards and R-E-S-P-E-C-T

While her four-octave range, phrasing and breath control have elicited critical raves for decades, Franklin’s records — “Respect,” “Chain of Fools,” “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman,” “I Never Loved a Man (The Way I Loved You),” among the hundreds of others  — and her record of accomplishments speak for themselves: the first woman to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, in 1987; the holder of the record for most Grammys for best female R&B vocal performance (11); the most million-selling singles of any female artist (14); 18 competitive Grammy victories; two honorary Grammys; the sole (let alone soul) singer at Barack Obama’s 2009 Presidential inauguration — the accolades, including a 2010 honorary doctorate in music from Yale, are literally too numerous to mention.

In 1968, when Franklin was 26 with the first string of early hits to her credit, TIME magazine featured her on its cover under a banner that read, in all capital letters, “The Sound of Soul.” Describing her voice, the news magazine reported, “She does not seem to be performing so much as bearing witness to a reality so simple and compelling that she could not possibly fake it.”

Courtesy of Time Magazine

Father Knew Best

“Fake” was never in Aretha Franklin’s vocabulary. One of five children, Franklin was born in Memphis, but at the age of 6 moved with her family to a large, tree-shaded house not far from Detroit’s East Side, in the same neighborhood as Diana Ross and Smokey Robinson.

Her mother Barbara left at about that time, then died four years later. Aretha’s father, the Rev. C. L. (for Clarence LaVaughn) Franklin, was the fiery preacher of Detroit’s 4,500-member New Bethel Baptist Church — the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King was a family friend — and it was Aretha’s father who steered the shy girl through her first gospel recording when she was 14 and later oversaw her transition into a soul singer.

“She and my dad were very, very, very close,” Aretha’s sister, Erma, told PEOPLE in 1985. “She depended on him and his advice, and when she was living in California, she’d call him three or four times a day.”

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Michael Ochs Archives/Getty

Tragedy struck, however, with Rev. Franklin’s 1979 shooting during a burglary at his home that left him in an irreversible coma. Stunned by the incident, Aretha began an almost weekly pilgrimage from Los Angeles back to Detroit, and in 1982 finally bought the house she occupied for the rest of her life.

During her father’s years of unconsciousness (he died in 1984, as a final result of the shooting), “she spent over a half million dollars on him, $1,500 a week just for nurses,” said Erma. “But she still can’t talk about it, not even with her own family. You can’t even say the word ‘death’ around her. You have to say ‘passed away’ or find some other expression.”

The move from L.A. back to Detroit was followed by a divorce from her second husband, actor Glynn Turman after nearly six years of marriage. Her first marriage, to Ted White, lasted from 1961 until their divorce in 1969. In all, she had four sons: Clarence, Jr., born when Franklin was 14; Edward (“Eddie”), born two years later, Ted White, Jr., born 1964; and Kecalf, born 1970 and whose father is Ken Cunningham.

Aretha Franklin

Rick Diamond/Getty

Eddie Franklin, then 52, was the victim of a physical attack in 2010 at a Detroit gas station that required him to undergo surgery.

Another setback took place in 1983, when during a late-night flight home from Atlanta the small plane Franklin was on “did one of those dipsy-doodles” in midair and shocked the singer into a sudden fear of flying, she told PEOPLE. The all-but-paralyzing aerophobia, which remained a lifelong problem, led to a string of canceled or postponed projects, including a starring role in a stage bio of Mahalia Jackson and the lead in a Broadway musical about Bessie Smith.

And yet, despite her troubles, as Rolling Stone has said, “Aretha Franklin is not only the definitive female soul singer of the ’60s, she’s also one of the most influential and important voices in pop history.”

Stephen Jaffe/Getty

Feuding and Fussing

Protective of her title “Queen of Soul,” Franklin was miffed by Beyoncé for introducing Tina Turner as the “Queen of Soul” at the 2008 Grammys, which led to a minor controversy — and barbs being exchanged — at the time.

In fact, Franklin took tremendous pride in her status as a diva, but could also be baffled by diva behavior in others. While before a concert Franklin would drink hot tea and maintain a temporary silence for the sake of her voice, ”Someone told me that Céline [Dion] will go for a day without talking,” Franklin, in a rare interview, told The New York Times in 2003.

She then said, ”Excuse me? What? You kidding? I might go 20 minutes, maybe 30 minutes. That’s enough. Unbelievable.’”

Daniel Boczarski/Getty

But off-stage, she told PEOPLE previously, it was a different story.

“I’m a diva when it’s time to be a diva,” she said. “When I leave the stage, I am the lady next door.” Watching her 2011 Grammy tribute at home in February with a cup of banana pudding, the legendary singer said she was floored by the performances in her honor.

“I was sitting in front of the TV, waiting for it,” said Franklin. “It was wonderful, and a very special moment. When an industry as big as the recording industry pays tribute to you, on that level, you don’t forget that.”

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Duke’s Wendell Carter Jr. was born into basketball en path to an NBA future

DURHAM, North Carolina – There’s one factor you will need to learn about Duke’s freshman massive man Wendell Carter Jr. – earlier than you already know about his significance to a Blue Devils crew that is among the many favorites to chop down the nets on April 2, earlier than you already know about how his versatile, essentially sound basketball expertise will make him a top-10 choose in June, earlier than you already know about his tortured resolution to choose Duke over Harvard of all locations, earlier than you already know about his highschool appearing profession (a job in a college manufacturing of the 1938 James Stewart film “You Cannot Take It With You”).

You could learn about Carter’s dad and mom. You could know the story of how they met again within the early 1990s.

“My husband loves to inform this story,” laughed Kylia Carter, “so I will let him.”

“I knew Kylia’s sister,” Wendell Carter Sr. mentioned. “They only moved to Atlanta. In the future she mentioned, ‘I obtained somebody I need you to satisfy.’ And that specific day I used to be taking part in in a summer time league, a pro-am league in Atlanta. Dominique Wilkins performed in it, Spud Webb performed in it, faculty and professional gamers.”

Wendell was 20, about to switch to Delta State College in Cleveland, Miss., the place the explosive 6-foot-6 ahead could be on a basketball scholarship. Kylia was 19, a 6-5 basketball participant for Ole Miss. Kylia’s sister launched them as Wendell was strolling out the door of his condo advanced en path to the sport, and he invited them to the sport at Clark Atlanta College, a traditionally black personal faculty.

“I assumed he was cute, to be sincere,” Kylia mentioned. “However, you already know: Any excuse to go watch basketball.”

At halftime there was a slam-dunk contest. Carter was one of many individuals. He determined to do a windmill. (“Windmills had been laborious again then,” he mentioned.) He threw down the dunk, and the gang went wild. He gained and obtained a trophy. He marched that trophy into the stands and handed it to Kylia.

“And that is it,” he mentioned.

“That is precisely the way it occurred,” Kylia mentioned. “He gained my coronary heart.”

Twenty-six years of marriage later, that trophy sits on the piano on the household’s Atlanta house.

When Wendell Carter Jr. got here out of the womb – 11 kilos, eight ounces, and 26 inches lengthy – you could possibly say he was born to play basketball.

It needs to be no shock given his dad and mom’ path that Carter has grow to be one of many forces on a Duke crew that has probably the most expertise in faculty basketball. Carter is Duke’s prime shot-blocker and simplest rebounder. His 13.eight factors per sport rank solely fourth on Duke, however he is extremely environment friendly when he does shoot it; Carter has made 58.1 p.c of his pictures from contained in the Three-point arc and 46.Three p.c of his makes an attempt from exterior of it. When he is working in transition or manning the put up, it is at all times with a fluidity and effectivity of physique motion. If there’s an NBA comparability that is sensible, it is Al Horford: A scarcity of flash however an abundance of fundamentals. The kind of participant you need on a successful squad.

Wendell Carter is not flash, however has been a strong participant for the Blue Devils. USATSI

And if this had been only a basketball story, we’d cease proper right here.

However this isn’t only a basketball story.

This can be a story about how two dad and mom poured themselves into their solely baby. At instances it appeared to others that they went too far, nearly obsessed together with his upbringing: “Folks can name it what they need to,” Kylia mentioned. “We name it love. Different individuals name it spoiled. However we participated in every little thing he did.”

They raised him in church: World Changers Church Worldwide, the nondenominational suburban Atlanta megachurch led by the well-known prosperity gospel preacher Creflo Greenback. When Wendell Sr. was taking part in within the church basketball league, little Wendell, age Three or four, would run up and down the ground when his dad was taking part in, mimicking every little thing his dad did. He consumed books from a younger age, and basketball too. By the point he was taking part in in basketball leagues, his dad and mom made a rule: Straight A’s or you do not play.

Wendell knew his upbringing was structured, however he did not know why. Then, when he was round eight or 9, he began asking his dad a query time and again: The place’s your loved ones, dad? The place’s my grandma and grandpa in your aspect, my aunts and uncles?

That is when Wendell Sr. knew it was time to inform his son about his personal upbringing and the way that impressed him to be such an concerned father.

The daddy and son drove to the graveyard in Atlanta and walked as much as a headstone. It was Wendell’s adoptive mom’s headstone. When he walked as much as it, he instantly broke down. So did his son.

Each story is derived from an older story. And that is when Wendell Carter Jr. discovered his personal origin story.

” I may have simply ran with the incorrect crowd. However I used to be so centered on basketball. That was the one factor that saved me going.” Wendell Carter Jr.

His father was born to a convicted felon. Having a toddler out of wedlock was a violation of her parole, so after Wendell Sr. was born, she deserted him in an condo. Police broke in and located a child alone, his diapers dirty. He obtained despatched to an orphanage. He was there till age 5 or 6. “It was the worst expertise of my life, like a jail,” he mentioned. He transitioned into group properties, after which round age eight was adopted together with one other boy by a stunning older couple. Life, for the primary time, was good: No drama. His personal bed room. Dad and mom who purchased him stuff. However when Wendell Sr. was 11, his adoptive father died of lung most cancers. At age 14, his adoptive mom died of pancreatic most cancers.

Alone in life.

“When she handed away I used to be by myself,” he mentioned. “Residing in a home on my own. I ought to have fallen by means of the cracks. I needs to be useless. I am making grown-man selections as a child. I may have simply ran with the incorrect crowd. However I used to be so centered on basketball. That was the one factor that saved me going. I would just go play basketball all day to maintain my thoughts from going someplace. May have been in a gang or had infants in all places. However God had his hand on me.”

Basketball took him to school, to an expert profession within the Dominican Republic, to his spouse – the girl who obtained the slam-dunk contest trophy on their first date – and finally to Duke College, the place this previous summer time Wendell and Kylia Carter dropped their solely baby off with Coach Ok.

“I watch him within the video games now, and I feel again to the driveway: That is all of the stuff we labored on!” mentioned Wendell Carter Sr. “However I additionally inform him, ‘Look, man. That is gonna run out. Something can occur.’ I am at all times giving him examples of gamers who obtained into the league however by no means obtained that second contract. You gotta give attention to Plan B. I do not assume I fulfilled my future, however I wished my son to do the very best he can, within basketball and outdoors of basketball.”

His dad and mom moved to Durham with him. They hang around with their son so much, come to practices, take their son to go to “Black Panther” on an odd weeknight. They’re intensely pleased with their son’s accomplishments thus far. They can not wait to see what he might be within the NBA. However all by means of it, they pound into his head, time and again, that basketball is not every little thing.

“They inform me so many tales of people that solely had the choice of taking part in basketball of their lives however their alternative by no means got here,” Wendell Jr. mentioned. “And all they’ve is being an awesome basketball participant. There’s far more to your life than simply basketball. My mother and pa taught me that: Be within the health club, however do not simply blow off teachers, do not blow off relationships.”

“In a method,” Wendell Jr. continued, “I am taking part in for him. All of the alternatives he had, he ought to have been within the NBA, he may have carried out one thing particular. It simply motivates me. It retains me conscious that there is going to be roadblocks in life, and I gotta discover methods to get round them or over them. That is what my dad taught me.”

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