#I miss him so much. him and Jude. fucking slay

[simplysummers]

I finally finished Roanoke, so this is my current ranking for those who care ✨

[damiansgoodgirll]

jude bellingham cheating on his gf while she’s at home studying for her exams and he’s in ibiza partying?

i love these requests so much, i’m evil for writing this one tho…

jude bellingham x reader

tw : cheating, break up over phone? a lot of angst and a little of toxic jude, maybe more than a little and mention of smut

take the pain away

you were currently in your apartment studying for a very important test when you’ve received a text message from your boyfriend jude. he sent you pictures of his arrival in ibiza, saying how much he wished you were there and that he missed you a lot.  you wished that you were able to go, but at the same time he knew how much this exam meant for you, and he couldn’t wait to come back home and celebrate with you because he knew that you were going to slay the test.

you laughed at the goofy pictures he sent and sent him back a pictures of your book, only for him to reply “boring” with laughing emojis.

everything was going great, except the fact that you were tired and stressed as hell. jude kept texting you even when he was partying all night, you were the first person on his mind.

three days went along and when the morning of the exam came you completely ignored everyone calling you or texting you. you thought that your friends were calling only to wish you good luck so you didn’t mind it and thought about replying after the exam.

but you were so wrong.

the night before your exam, in the same moment you were studying and stressing your ass out, jude was seeing taking a random girl back to his hotel. internet was full of pictures of him and the girl going into the hotel he was staying.

but what was worse was the current morning.

you didn’t even care to see who texted you, but you would be surprised to see that jude didn’t even wish you good luck. instead new pictures came out of him and this girl, only to see her wearing jude’s t-shirt from the night before.

your friends weren’t calling you for your exam, but they all wanted to check up on you and to see how you reacted.

you found it strange when people back at your university gave you weird looks, almost like they were pitying you.

once you got back home, you decided to reward yourself with your favourite meal and while you were waiting for the rider to arrive, you decided to check your phone.  you were surprised to see all those people texting you and you couldn’t understand why.

but a few seconds later you saw everything.

the pictures. the videos of jude walking hand in hand with this girl. her wearing his t-shirt, the one you wore so many times.

seeing all of this made you sick to the stomach. you couldn’t believe it. you knew men cheated all the time but you couldn’t wait that jude, your jude would do something like this to you.

you’ve been dating for years you’ve been knowing each other since you were kids and you were his number one supporter, so you couldn’t understand what you did wrong to deserve a treatment like this.

tears were falling from your eyes. you forgot about the food that now was laying on your couch. all you wanted to do was disappear.

in that exact moment you heard your phone ringing.

jude was calling you.

you were wondering if he knew that you knew.

you picked up anyway, only to hear what he wanted to say.

“hey babe” he said, almost like he was smiling. your head was hurting you, and you couldn’t believe he was being so fake.

“hey” you simply said. tears were falling and your throat was hurting you but you pretended everything was fine.

“how did exam go? sorry if i didn’t call i was busy this morning” he sounded relaxed.

busy fucking some random girl?

“it went good”

“i’m so happy for you! i’m so proud baby, i can’t wait to come home and celebrate with you!” he said happily.

“jude do you think i’m stupid?” you asked, your voice cracking.

“what? no, why baby, are you okay?” he sounded concerned.

“i’m not okay…not when i’m here and you’re in spain fucking around with random girls! jude how - how could you do this?” you asked him, you weren’t even screaming you were just so disappointed.

“listen, baby, i’m so sorry i fucked up…” he wasn’t even that sorry over phone. maybe he got drunk and he was still hungover, but that couldn’t cancel what he did.

“the only thing you have to say is sorry?” you cried over the phone, maybe you were being too hysterical but you couldn’t care less “while i was stressing my ass out studying for a goddamn exam, when i needed your support this morning you decided to fuck someone who wasn’t me? jude you fucking cheated! if you really cared you would be here, on your knees begging for my forgiveness!” you screamed over your phone.

“baby, please calm down-…”

“no! don’t you dare telling me to calm down jude!” you cried “i needed you here, i needed your support, you knew how much this was important for me and instead i got greeted with the news of you cheating? how fucking pathetic…”

“listen, i’m so sorry okay…i-shit, i’ve never meant to hurt you…i don’t know why i did it, it’s just…i’m so sorry y/n, i get your mad, i’m sorry” he tried to explain himself, like if he wasn’t feeling guilty.

“mad? i’m disappointed, sad, upset, heartbroken…jude we’ve been knowing each other since we were kids…we’ve been together for years and the only excuse you can find is i don’t know why i did it! are you even listening to yourself…this is so - i don’t know, you broke me in ways i didn’t even know it was possible” you cried. your voice calmed down, but you kept crying.

jude was feeling guilty. incredibly guilty. he had no excuses for what happened. he wasn’t drunk or high, he just got caught up in the moment. he missed you, he wanted to have you close, he missed your body and your lips and all the frustration he was feeling needed to go. so he did in the most unconventional way.

he knew girls wanted him so he didn’t take much finding a girl that was doing everything he said. he needed to release all the built up stress and you weren’t there. so he took her back to the hotel, gripped and tore away her dress, her panties and leaving her completely naked and at his mercy.

he didn’t care about her, nor he did know her name. he knew what he was doing was wrong but he couldn’t help it. he fucked her all night long, different positions but never looking her in the face or the eyes. because that girl wasn’t you. he used her, he fucked her in a way he would never do to you. no, for him you were to love, to worship. he couldn’t care less for the woman who was gagging on his dick. i

the morning was the hardest part. he gave her something to dress up while he got a cab for her. indeed she had fun.

jude was feeling all the emotions he couldn’t feel last night.

remorse. shame. guilt. sadness. disappointment. he was mad at himself because he knew that in one way or another you would have found out. and he couldn’t bare the fact to lose you.

“baby please - i’ll be home tomorrow, i just booked the next flight…we can sort it out, please” he said. he tried to remain calm because he never cried in front of you but his face was stained with tears, eyes glossy and his throat was burning.

“i don’t care jude…you can spend the rest of your life in ibiza, or madrid, i honestly don’t care, just stay away from me…” you said.

“no no please…i messed up so bad i know but i can’t…i can’t lose you, i need to see you once i come back home so we can sort things out, please” he begged you.

“we’re done jude, you can come back anytime you want but i promise, you won’t find me here when you come back…” you said hanging up your phone.

jude tried to call you.

you wouldn’t pick up.

he texted you.

but you blocked him.

you spent the whole day crying in bed, the bed you used to make love to, the bed where you watched all your favourite movies cuddled next to one another. but damage was done and it couldn’t be fixed.

you were feeling so helpless, you’ve never experienced a break up like this. if felt like every bone was breaking inside of you, you were shaking from crying and all you wanted was someone to take your pain away, someone who wouldn’t come.