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vminizzle · 1 year

Text

Sex shop

pairing : bestfriend!jungkook x f.reader

genre : SMUT, fluff

warnings :masturbation, really bad description of sex shop & stuff (sorry), mention of sex toys (not used, maybe in part 2 who knows ;) hehe ), teasing, use of pet names, praising, marking, first time, love making, penetrative sex, unprotected sex ( wrap It up guys! ), creampie, slight cockwarming, THEY ARE CUTE UGH

best friends ͜͡➸ to lovers ♡

words count : 4.2k

A/N : pls I’m insane (the way I had to clean my search history) ,, sorry this is a whole mess. I don’t know what I had in mind when I started writing this. I spent ages on this fic and ngl it didn’t turn out how I wanted but I tried my best :). I wrote this there is a long time ago but I decided to edit it 💀 & sorry for my english.

FEEDBACKS ARE VERY WELCOMED

M RATED

“see you on monday!” you waved at Jungkook as he waved back driving away.

You sighed as you walk to your friend.

“so, today your boyfriend doesn’t walk you home?” she teased.

“Jungkook is not my boyfriend“ you blushed slapping her arm playfully.

"please you guys are always together. like always! Studying, hanging out together, shopping, lunch.. Except when he’s working on the weekends. He even sleep at your house.. I’m asking myself what you guys do-”

You gasped slapping her arm lightly.

“what? Chaeyoung stop! don’t say non-sense, we’re just..best friends.” you retorted looking down.

“yea yea whatever.”

Chaeyoung and you walked to your house, eating ice creams on your way.

“so what you wanna do?” you asked unlocking the front door.

“let’s just do nothing.” you laughed nodding.

You were laying on your couch scrolling though your social networks lazily when Chaeyoung suddenly jumped on you.

“Yo look at this!” she shoved her phone to your face.

“what is it?”

“it talks about masturbation.” she explained.

“and what about it?” you asked confused.

“I read that some women masturbate with water pression.” your cheeks heated up at her sudden burst.

“w-why are you even reading this?” you handed her the phone back.

“ just saw a girl from our promo repost this article.” she shrugged.

“that’s really suprising. I mean I’ve never thought about masturbation with water pression. Like I mean, using toys are easier no?” you looked at her eyes wide open.

“oh my god stop!” you threw a pillow at her face as she caught it midway laughing.

“wait! Don’t tell me you don’t masturbate, do you?” you hesitated before answering.

“i-it’s kind of personal.” you muttered.

“ugh stooooop we’re friends.. except you rather talk about it with your "best friend.” she wiggled her eyebrows teasingly.

“Can you just stop with him?“ you groaned.

“so tell me.” she whined shaking your arm repeatedly.

“well, yea.. like every other teenagers.” you cleared your voice making her grin.

“how many toys do you have?” she asked curiously.

“ok enough! this is so embarrassing.” you whined.

“not at all.” finally letting go of your arm as she grab her soda can on the glass table in front of you both.

“i don’t own any...” you muttered.

Chaeyoung chocked in her soft drink “you don’t?!” you shook your head.

“I don’t need it so.. yea.”

She stared at you silently for awhile.

“you should buy one.”

“why?“ you laughed awkwardly.

“it’ll be a new experience, another level of pleasure. And maybe it’ll please you more than your fingers or whatever."

How can she talks so openly? you thought.

“i know a great little sex shop not so far from here!” she exclaimed.

“you should check it out!”

“I’ll think about it.” you said, wanting this conversation to end.

❁ — •*:｡✩

You furrowed your eyebrows, bottom lip caught between your teeth, the pressure on your clit making you feel frustrated.

Your legs spread wide open, fingers going in and out of you slowly to tease you a bit.

Rubbing little circles with your thumb on the throbbing nerve trying to stimulate you a bit more.

10 minutes. 10 fucking minutes that you were trying to make yourself cum.

You didn’t know if you were too tense, stressed or exhausted but these days you couldn’t make yourself reach your highs. You groaned and gave up as you sigh annoyed getting up to wash your hand.

—

Later, you smiled as you sat on the edge of your bed, noticing a message from your best friend on your phone.

[20:42] kook : just arrived home, I hope you spent a nice afternoon. You’re probably sleeping or watching something on Netflix without me :(

[20:44] y/n : hey yes i did. How was work? nahh I’m gonna sleep. wanna wait for you next week to watch our serie :)

[20:45] kook : work was alright. ohhh that’s my girl hehe can’t wait for next week then!

[20:47] y/n : nice then. You’re working all day tomorrow ?

[20:48] kook : yea unfortunately I’m working all day :(

[20:49] y/n : ughh!! good luck for tomorrow. Go take a bath and rest idiot.

[20:51] kook: thanks princess! Sleep well too love ya ♡

[20:53] y/n : hehe love you too ♡

You let your body fell back on the mattress, smiling like an idiot at the small conversation.

Jungkook could always make you smile without even trying.

Noticing a early message from Chaeyoung, you opened it.

[18:57] Chae : here the address of the sex shop I talked about earlier : <address>. I know how curious you are sometimes 👀 hehe you’ll tell me. xoxo

Your smile vanished when you thought about your little talk with Chaeyoung.

“ok” you sighed deeply.

“I’ll go to this shop tomorrow.”

❁ — •*:｡✩

Waking up with the warm sunlights caressing your body gently. You stretched out groaning at the sore muscles.

You checked your phone. 1pm.

Well damn, that was a long sleep.

You decided to take a shower, eat lunch and get ready to “visit” this little shop.

—

Not wanting to be seen at such a place, you put a cap enough to hide your face a bit. You went for a oversized hoodie, a jean and a pair of vans.

Comfy.

You didn’t know why you were so nervous to go there. Is it because you’re scared to meet someone you know there? Is it because you’re embarrassed to see all the stuffs you’ll probably discover there? What type of things you’ll find?

“C’mon that’s just a shop y/n the fuck is wrong with you." you whisper-yelled to yourself before pulling your cap lower.

You took a deep breath as you put your hand on the knob of the door.

“Let’s go.”

Entering the place hesitantly, you looked at your surroundings. Deep red velvety walls, lights keeping the shop bright enough to make it less dark, shelves full of stuff you never knew the existence of.

The cashier welcomed you and you smiled at him politely.

Walking further through the shop, you noticed shelves filled with magazines, covers of obscene pictures of naked women and men making you cover your eyes feeling like a shocked and scared kid.

You blushed as you passed by lingeries hanging on the walls. Not lying to yourself, they were so pretty.

You brushed your fingertips gently over the soft materials, some velvety ones, lacy ones and other lingeries more… revealing.

Different boxes at the back of the shop intrigued you as you approached them.

Getting closer, you gulped feeling a little lump in you throat.

“what the fuck are these oh my gosh” you whisper-yelled completely shocked.

Not only vibrators were there, but anal plugs, anal beads, dildos, strap-on dildos , bdsm toys… handcuffs, ropes , flogger , whips, open mouth gag, blindfolds, spanking paddles, cock rings (pls help me!!), fleshlights …

“nipple clamps? That sounds so painful.” you whined covering your chest.

”urethral sound? oh lord i don’t even have a penis and I can feel the pain." you held your stomach, disgust painting your face.

“the hell are these? rabbit vibrator? butterfly vibrator?… bondage hood?? h-how do people breath oh my-”

(little break, let me clean my horrible search history real quick and drink some water my head is spinning with all these new information lmao)

Looking around you noticed bondage furniture and other stuffs making you uncomfortable.

“Chaeyoung is completely insane what the hell!”

“Good afternoon, how can I help you?”

A really familiar voice could be heard behind you. You turned around only to see your best friend.

”J-Jungkook!?“ you said louder than you thought.

“y-y/n?! What are you doing here?” shock written all over his red face.

”I’m hm I.. wait! What are you doing here?” you said trying to avoid his question.

Jungkook stayed quiet, mouth opening but no words coming out.

Looking at his shirt, you noticed the logo of the shop on it. ”you work here?“

Your eyes widened as you glanced at his red ears.

”hm.. yes.” he replied, head down as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Oh.. that’s why you’ve never tell me more about your job…“ you trailed out.

He nodded looking at you again.

“and you? What are you doing here huh?” he asked curiosity laced in his voice.

You chewed on your bottom lip, searching for an answer.

“so?” he smiled teasingly ears still red.

“yo stop with your weird thoughts!” you punched him on his shoulder.

“personal stuff.” you muttered.

“well, I guessed it’s for personal stuff.” he looked around you smirking.

“oh shut up.”

“so what.. are you searching for?” you looked up at him shocked.

“eh that’s my job calm down.” he laughed as you looked around searching for someone else than your best friend to help you.

“I .. hm.. I came for this!” you grabbed a random box on the shelve next to you not even looking at it.

“wow..is this for you?” Jungkook tried his best not to laugh.

“yes!”

“never knew my bestie has a dick.” you looked down at the box .. cock ring.

You closed your eyes embarrassment washing over you. He laughed softly as you put the box back at his place quickly.

Looking for a diversion, you glanced behind him “hey what’s that?!” you pointed at a random spot.

When Jungkook looked over his shoulder, you grabbed the box of a vibrator running away with it.

“what?” he turned back only to see that you weren’t here anymore.

You stopped running, putting your hand over your heart as you tried to breath slower.

Looking up, you noticed that you were at the lingerie "booth”. Your eyes stayed glued on one of them.

A black one exactly.

You touched the soft bra, fingers sliding on the lacy material. It was just so cute and sexy at the same time.

You shook your head walking at the front of the shop to the cashier.

After paying your product, the cashier told you with no shame to “have fun”.

Gosh what a day.

❁ — •*:｡✩

You groaned exasperatedly throwing your purchase on your bed, this one bouncing on the mattress and ending on the floor.

You decided to take a shower, letting the warm water caress his way down your body pleasantly, helping your muscles relax, washing the stress and shame away.

After your shower, you went downstairs opening your fridge to take a bottle of ice cold water. You needed something fresh to calm down from all the events that happened today.

You swallowed down the liquid, the cold water hitting your throat in a pleasant way.

You jumped when you suddenly heard knocks on your door startling you.

You furrowed your eyebrows checking your phone to see if Chaeyoung texted you announcing she was coming over but nothing.

Opening the door you were faced to the last person you wanted to see today. The embarrassment too “fresh” to handle.

“Hi.” Jungkook smiled shyly.

You looked down nodding acknowledging his presence.

“hm.. can I come in?” he asked after a few seconds.

“oh! yea yea of course.” you let him in, closing the door behind.

“so.. what bring you here?” you talked still avoiding his eyes.

“can’t I come visit my favorite best friend?” he tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow up playfully.

“your one and only best friend.” you huffed.

“yep! my only one. mine.” he grinned cutely.

“yes. yours.” you smiled back this time looking at him, this one still smiling.

The atmosphere changed. You didn’t know how, why but it changed.

Something in Jungkook’s gaze changed for a second before he cleared his throat.

The word ‘yours’ affecting him a bit too much.

He couldn’t think like that, no , you’re his best friend.

But he wanted you more than that. He wanted you to be his.

A pleasant silence settled as you stared at each other, his eyes on your lips time to time.

“Can I kiss you?” he breathed out.

It was so sudden yet so tempting.

“yes.” you whispered as he approached you taking your face in his hands gently before connecting his lips with yours.

He kissed you softly, his hand sliding down your side to rest on your hip.

Kissing him felt so magical. It felt so unreal.

Jungkook pulled away, resting his forehead on yours before chuckling.

“i’ve never thought I’d kiss my pretty best friend one day.”

You chuckled hiding your face on his chest. He pulled you closer, hugging you.

This hug wasn’t like the others you shared before. This one was different. You could feel his heart beating faster when you wrapped your arms around him.

“y/n.” he spoke again.

You looked up at him waiting for him to continue.

“i.. i think.. I’m in love with you.” his cheeks red from the confession.

“think?” you teased.

He rolled his eyes smilling widely “I’m in love with you.”

“i’m in love with you too.” you said shyly before kissing his cheek.

He smiled before capturing your lips for another kiss, a sweet and loving one.

This time the kiss was longer, his hands creeping behind your back by your waist and tugging you closer onto his body.

The way your bodies were against each other’s made you feel some type of way.

A feeling you’ve never felt before. An unfamiliar feeling deep down in your stomach making you moan into the kiss as Jungkook’s hand went on your lower back pushing you harder on him.

He groaned feeling blood rushing down there. His growing boner pressed on your lower stomach.

You pulled away breathing heavily.

“I want you.” Jungkook whispered, his hands playing with the strings of your -his- hoodie.

“I want you too.”

You looked toward the stairs. Jungkook got the hint and took your hand in his walking upstairs.

It wasn’t the first time he came into your bedroom but this time, it wasn’t for studying, watching movies on your sleepovers or take naps… no this time was different.

Jungkook closed the door before walking to you, taking your chin between his thumb and index.

He leaned down, his lips envelopping yours into a loving and slow kiss again.

He started leaving little pecks, his lips trailing down to your jawline, to your neck sucking gently on the soft skin.

You walked backward to your bed letting your body fall on it pulling Jungkook in the process on top of you. He giggled softly as you caressed his cheek softly.

Your fingers went down, playing with the buttons of his shirt before unbuttoning them slowly one by one while looking into his eyes. He helped you taking it off completely throwing it away.

He bent down, lips on the side of your neck pressing light kisses, his hands sliding under your hoodie.

“can I?” he said gently pulling at the hem of the garment.

You nodded before sitting and raising your arms up. Jungkook chuckled pulling it off your beautiful body.

You suddenly froze, realizing that you were half-naked in front of him.

Your hands flew directly to your bra-covered breasts. If you felt exposed with your underwear on, you wondered how you’ll feel naked.

“don’t be shy.” Jungkook said softly.

“Easy to say when you don’t have breasts.” you muttered.

“i do have breats! But they’re super flat..it’s like they’re non-existent.” he said playfully palming his pecs.

“oh gosh stop.” you laughed slapping his arm.

Jungkook laughed too before taking your hands in his.

“look at me.” he started “your body is so beautiful. You are so beautiful. Don’t be shy around me. You know you can trust me and be yourself with me. So don’t hide from me.” you locked eyes with him, his words making your heart skip a beat.

No one ever talked like that with you.. about you.

You nodded with a smile decorating your lips.

“That’s my girl” he said as he peck your forehead.

He laid you down again gently, hands wandering on the bare skin, so soft as his fingertips caress their way up and down, goosebumps raising after their journeys.

Jungkook lowered his head, his soft lips on your collarbone starting leaving open mouth kisses and little love bites there and then.

His mouth cascaded down on your chest, sucking on the sensitive skin to leave little reddish and purplish flowers.

He continued his way down, kissing every part he could, not forgetting to leave little marks proving that he has worshipped your beautiful body as it should.

He stopped when he reached your panties, looking up at you, a silent request to have your permission to take it off.

You hesitated for awhile, rethinking about his words. You did trust him. A lot. More than yourself perhaps? But being this exposed was really difficult for you.

Were you ready for this step?

“If you’re not ready or if you’re uncomfortable it’s ok princess, we can stop.” you heard him speak again pushing you out of your thoughts.

“take it off.” you answered.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yes.” you lifted your hips a little bit as he dragged the soft material off your legs.

“so pretty.” Jungkook murmured as he caressed your thighs.

He took his time adorning them with love bites and hickeys, making them look even prettier at his eyes.

His face got higher, just above your most sensitive part.

He kissed your clit gently making you hiss. The new sensation so good making it throb, anticipation growing more and more.

The need to close your legs really tempting. And that’s exactly what you did.

Jungkook got off the bed to get rid of his pant.

You immediately looked away when he glanced at you, hands on the waistband of his boxer ready to push it down.

He blushed thinking about the fact that it was also his first time being naked in front of someone.

He still chuckled at your shyness murmuring a quiet “cute.”

Jungkook hissed as he finally freed his cock from his confinement, the sensitive tip hitting the air before slapping against his stomach.

You breath hitched when you felt the bed dip again signaling that Jungkook was back.

He made sure you were confortable, pillows behind your head, blanket over your bodies as you suggested for more ‘intimacy’.

Jungkook hovered you before talking again “are you nervous?”.

You gulped before letting a small yes escape from your mouth.

“Are you?” Jungkook nodded.

Both of you knew it was both your first time.

“If you’re not ready we can stop.” you said softly.

He smiled shyly nodding “y/n we can stop at any moment. Understood?”

You nodded hand cupping his cheek, thumb caressing the cheekbone.

Jungkook positioned himself at your entrance, the head of his cock rubbing teasingly on your folds making you moan.

“´k are you sure?” he asked one last time.

You nodded before he stopped you, shaking his head.

“I need a verbal approval y/n.”

“I’m sure and I want you to be sure too.” you said softly making him hummed.

“oh wait wait!” Jungkook exclaimed.

“what is it?” you asked confused many scenarios creating in your head ready to make you panick.

“be my girlfriend. no! I mean, w-would you like to be my girlfriend?” you chuckled at how cute he was.

“I’d love to Kook” you pecked his lips making him smile widely, eyes turning into little crescents.

Jungkook started entering you slowly and carefully making sure not to hurt you, checking up on your facial expressions time to time.

You gripped on his bicep hard as it started to burn. The unfamiliar intrusion uncomfortable.

You hissed, the pain making his presence more and more.

“are you ok? Do you want me to stop? Pull out? I can st-”

“i’m good don’t worry, keep going slowly please.” you whispered.

Jungkook peppered kisses on your cheek and neck, to distract you from the pain of the stretch as he pushed in deeper until he completely bottomed.

You groaned, tears forming in your eyes “shh, you’re doing so well darling.”

He caressed your cheeks a bit concerned “Tell me when I can move yea?”

On the other side, Jungkook suffered in his own way.

He scrunched his nose, bottom lip trapped between his teeth at the warm tightness around him so foreign, his mind going wild.

You took a deep breath, trying to surpass the burn down there.

You nodded gesturing him to move again. This one, thrusted in and out slowly, taking his time not to hurt you and enjoy the new sensation around him.

He groaned as he started feeling this exciting and pleasuring feeling making his cock twitched inside you.

You moaned softly, the pain fading away and the pleasure coming gradually.

The burn was still there but it was bearable, it felt good as Jungkook continued his slow moves.

“J-Jungkook” you breathed out hand gripping his bicep tightly nails digging into the flesh.

“you ok princess?” he whispered against your lips.

“It f-feels good.. you feel so good” your eyelids getting heavy, trying your best to keep your eyes on him.

He looked so handsome. On top of you, lips swollen with all the kisses exchanged, a light blush decorating his cheeks, his ears red, chest gleaming with sweat, little droplets formed on his forehead….. so ethereal.

As Jungkook continued moving in and out of you, the pleasure took over, the painful burn long forgotten.

Your hands travelled to his back, fingernails were buried into the soft flesh of his muscular back drawing little crescents.

“you’re doing so good baby. so good for me.” he caressed your cheek.

Jungkook took his time making love to you, nibbling on your earlobe lightly as he whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

You scratched his back as he gripped your thigh lifting it a bit getting deeper inside you.

“fuck please don’t stop.” you whimpered voice cracking, his length rubbing deliciously against your warm velvelty walls.

The wet and warm feeling around him made him feel lightheaded. You felt too good to be true.

He pressed butterfly kisses on your jawline, his lips travelling down leaving beautiful dark red flowers on your neck, continuing his path to your collarbone biting it lightly enough to form a little mark. “so pretty.” he whispered more to himself.

He let out a low groan as you clenched around him “fuck!” he rolled his hips sensually grazing over your sweet spot making you whined out loudly.

You ran your fingers through his soft locks. You squeezed your eyes shut, letting your head fall back into the pillows as Jungkook hit deeper.

Art. Just art. You looked like a masterpiece.

All covered up with hickeys, the red and purple marks on your skin making his eyes sparkling with lust, admiration and love.

“you’re so beautiful. so beautiful all marked up.” he said fingers running over the little bruises he left. “mine. you’re mine.”

The vein of his neck was prominent as he moaned when you tightened around him, the pressure making him weak to a point “baby d-don’t stop clenching p-please.”

“Jungkook I think I’m- fuck.” you moaned feeling the knot in your lower stomach tighter, your heart beating faster as the pleasure propagated inside you.

Jungkook placed your calve over his waist, he cupped your jawline, his lips barely touching yours as he whispered “cum for me love.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at the way your walls convulse around him. “fuck! I’m so near!”

Jungkook slid his veiny hands up your arms until they reached your hands, pinning them at each side of your head as he tangled your fingers together.

The sweet little gesture making your heart stop.

He bent down to press kisses on the sensitive marked-skin of your neck. His touches overwhelming you.

Butterflies finally blooming into your lower stomach as you came around him.

The sudden wave of pleasure forming tears in your eyes as they slid down your cheeks. His name leaving your throat in a high pitched moan.

Your soft moans pushed him over the edge of his own release, he moaned deeply as he came inside you, filling you up to the brim.

The warm cum made you sigh as you let your body relax against the soft sheet.

“i love you.” he pushed stands of hair out of your face.

Heat rushed to your cheeks, the three words making your heart melt.

“i love you.” you whispered softly, caressing the back of his head gently.

Jungkook buried his face into the crook of your neck, his breath tickling you.

You chuckled, hand stroking up and down his back to soother the scratched skin. He looked up at you before pecking the tip of your nose.

“’m tired.” you mumbled yawning.

“let’s get you clean up first cutie.”

He was about to pull out when you groaned pulling him down on you. “let’s stay like this please?” shyness showing up again.

“as you wish princess.”

He laid a kiss on your temple before turning around on his back, pulling you on top of him. His slow heartbeats and an last I love you were the last thing you heard before drifting off in his warm embrace.

a beautiful relationship started and probably a wild one …

—

a/n : not a frequent f2l fic right? I hope i did good - a part 2? I love writing fluffy smut since I’m a romantic person 😭 sorry sorry. Anyways, thanks for reading luvs. Take care of yourselves :)

+ I forgot to add that jk and reader are both college students and it’s a part job for Jungkook.

2K notes · View notes

onlyseokmins · 10 months

Text

the devil wears baby blue • h.j.s.

Pairing: joshua hong x afab!reader Genres: smut (minors PLS dni!), strangers to fucking lol Warnings: joshua hong himself 🚩🚩, swearing, alcohol, reader is a menace and tease too i'm ngl, grinding, groping, slight exhibition kink, degradation, name-calling, objectification, FINGERS (all of it fingering, riding, etc), mentions of knife/surgery, choking, wbk but major hints to big cock josh 💔, marking, licking, alluding to devil imagery uwu, roleplay sort of but not really, kind of public sex acts + a mirror, manhandling, lil slaps, dangerous fashion decisions + "fun" clothing shenanigans during sex ig????, mentions of car sex and oral sex (male rec.), dirty talk (joshua won't stfu), edging, lil bit of pain kink if you squint ❤️‍🩹, and tons of banter/insults, is there a thing like a wealth kink??? - as always lmk if i missed smth WC: 7k A/N: *taps mic* would love to thank @onlymingyus and @duhnova for proofing, hyping, and supporting me on this. also ofc a huge honorary shout out to @hwanghyunjinenthusiast for the constant cheering and screeching at me in and out of dms - hope you enjoy this hehe. idk if jackie will see this but her watch post(s) helped re-inspire me to attack this wip. and finally blowing kisses to the joshushushus in my inbox, i hope you'll like this! ps if anyone recognizes where the last dialogue is from, you receive a kiss on the forehead from me and get to spend one night with joshua!! 😏

↪ this is a loosely based prequel to idiot

Seungkwan's hand lays steady on your back, guiding you through the crowd much more efficiently than you could have on your own. He has a way of navigating through the waves of people with practiced ease whereas you would rather just be swept away. It's why you enjoy going to the club with him, especially one as crazy as tonight's.

You would think you were still on the dance floor with how many people are bustling around you, mingling and giggling just as much on the sidelines as they do moving to the music. Drinks in hand, they chat and flirt with one another so it takes nearly twice as long to make it to the bar than you think it really should.

"This better be worth it," you shout directly into your friend's ear despite how close you are to him. "For the amount of times my feet have been stepped on!"

There's a sharp pinch from his fingers that snuck to your side. "Told you not to wear those stupid shoes."

Though you can't exactly hear it, you can see how his pouty lips purse out in a huff. He's also grumbling under his breath and you're able to catch bits and pieces. Things like, "won't matter" and "swept off your feet anyways" and "don't blame me" make you roll your eyes.

"Acting like this is my social debut with the prince of wales."

"Someone's been watching too much Bridgerton. And with how often you fail to come —" he's interrupted by the loud thumping of the bass, "makes sense."

"You can't possibly compare me against your standards, Mister Social Butterfly. You know everyone… and you've probably screwed a lot of them as well."

Seungkwan can only guess a gist of what you actually say and is therefore mildly tempted to let you get lost in the sea of people like he knows you'd rather prefer. But he's finally made it all the way over to what seems like an impenetrable social circle, though the group readily parts to make room for the two of you to squeeze in. So, he'll have to bring you along for the adventure.

"Hey there!"

"Hello!"

"Fancy seeing you here."

"I know, right?"

Greetings are easily interchanged. Most of them are familiar faces — friends of your own or people you've gotten to know simply through Seungkwan's ever-growing collection of new instagram posts.

Jeonghan's got some poor new soul to flirt with again and Seokmin looks like he'd rather be at home watching cooking videos. Vernon is wearing headphones of all things while Seungcheol has a shit-eating grin on his handsome face. And you instinctively know Mingyu has to be up to no good because you don't see or hear him.

Not that you're actually paying that much attention to the same-old-same people, focus naturally drawn to the tall man standing next to Wonwoo. Light brown hair curls just beneath his ears, shaggy enough that the urge to run your fingers through and imagine what the tug of strands between them might feel like consumes you. It comes as a shock, considering that Jeonghan's had the same style before and you've never felt like this.

You drink in the baby blue shirt that compliments the mystery man's skin tone, top buttons left undone to showcase the delicate silver around his throat and framed by collar bones. The fabric's elegance belies the strength of the body it clothes, material straining tastefully in the tiniest bit over a broad chest and wide shoulders. Sleeves rolled up to accentuate the flex of his forearm down to the long, long fingers wrapped all the way around the glass of alcohol held between them.

"That's Joshua Hong," Seungkwan supplies helpfully though he can't hide how smug he sounds observing you and shares a knowing look with Vernon who snickers.

"Joshua Hong," you repeat and enjoy how easy his name sounds and feels coming off your tongue. "Is that so?"

"Yeah and to my knowledge, he's extremely single."

"Don't tell me that's how you introduce me to other people."

He feigns innocence. "Can't recall but even if I did, bet it's going to work in your favor. Don't look now but it seems like you've caught a big fish."

Of course, when someone tells you not to look, the first thing you'd logically do is look. Glad you weren't caught staring earlier now that the very same man you were drooling over has noticed your existence and is staring directly at you.

Brown irises drop down to scan your figure and the suggestiveness of it lights something deep within you. You're quick to nudge off Seungkwan's arm around your waist when Joshua's eyes linger a second longer on it than you'd expect, ignoring your friend's sassy mutter of "hook, line, and sinker."

"I… I really don't like that implication, 'Kwan."

"Sure you don't."

Joshua Hong's intent gaze is far from unsavory. Even if it was more perverse in nature, you think you'd feel drunk off the same amount of power it fills you with and you haven't had a single drop of alcohol yet. A swear word escapes under your breath at the dampness of your back — and elsewhere — before sending the admiring man a demure smile of acknowledgement and turning once more to Seungkwan.

"You were criticizing my shoes earlier?"

"'Cause you can barely walk in them!"

"Then let's put these bad boys to good use."

Your friend can only shake his head as you stride away. He'll keep an occasional eye on you from afar for the rest of the night but he has a hunch things will be… fine. He hopes. Wonwoo did say Joshua was a decent man, after all.

He'll have to be… if he's willing to put up with you, Seungkwan thinks to himself with a cringe as he watches.

Vernon hands over a much appreciated beer and he sidles up to the unbothered man's side, jutting his chin out in your direction and asking, "Are you ready for some entertainment?"

"Yo, always bro."

"Cheers to that."

Meanwhile, you've made it to the new company without stumbling once — something you're very proud of. You nod at Joshua. Nothing more than a soft flutter of eyelashes, alerting him that you're aware of his presence but indulging in nothing more. Instead, you choose to lean comfortably into his companion's space.

"Hi Woo, care to share?"

The bespectacled man wordlessly offers his nearly empty glass of wine, always easygoing and ever perceptive. Unlike his best friend who never fails to be endearing but can't take a hint to save his life. One of the many reasons why Mingyu has never succeeded as a wingman — unfathomably clumsy but still loveable in all aspects to steal everyone's heart involved.

You finish the rest of Wonwoo's drink off with a satisfied hiss at the taste but not without a snort. "I didn't mean that, silly."

He cracks a smile, returning the teasing with a fake, reproaching scold of your name. "Could've told me you wanted to steal my buddy and not drain all my alcohol!"

Joshua laughs — loud and clear above the din of noises surrounding you. It has an air of gracefulness to it and you're sure the club brightens in a way that's totally not from the strobe lights going crazy.

"So, this is Seungkwan's friend…"

You jab Wonwoo's side with a huff. "Hey, I'm much more than that!"

"If it's any consolation," Joshua cuts in with another laugh and a handshake, taking on a self introduction. "I'm just some guy named Joshua. Hope that doesn't disappoint."

"Just some guy, huh? One that wears a Royal Oak?"

He thrillingly doesn't let go of your hand, keeping a firm but gentle grasp when turning it with his to properly glance at the notorious status symbol wrapped around it. The steel casing glints just as fiercely as the sapphire glass over white gold hour-markers embedded on its face.

"Yep, still just some guy that's called Josh. Joshua Hong, to be exact. Scared you off yet?"

"I wear heels that have a one hundred percent chance of breaking my ankle to a place where there's a terrible combo of dancing and drinks. But you think I'd be scared by a pretty boy wearing thirty-some jewels around his wrist?"

He steals another appreciative look up and down your body. Not as fiery as the first one but still bold without shame, striking another bolt of heat that flashes through your veins and simmers in your lower abdomen.

"Taste. And bite. I'd expect nothing less from someone like you."

"Someone like me?" you scoff as he winks, taking a step back and extending your arm as far as it will go with the notion for you to follow.

"Dance with me?"

Wonwoo had quietly faded into the background and slipped away for another refill. Smart guy. There's no one to worry about leaving behind when you accept this unfamiliar man's invitation and let him whisk you in the direction of the dancefloor. But not before catching Seungkwan's mild and supportive yet watchful gaze before he raises his beer in a mock salute.

It's almost cute at how inept Joshua is maneuvering through the tumultuous flow and ebb of moving bodies compared to said good friend. The way his taller frame looks more like a poor cruise ship tossed helplessly in the waves of the ocean than the stationary lighthouse and its reassuring beacon you'd expect causes a chuckle.

"You're almost as bad at this as I am."

He shoots an apologetic smile at the same time someone once again jostles his shoulder, pushing him closer into you. "Nightclubs really aren't my scene."

You're not complaining about the aided proximity that lets you hear what he says without strain. Although you do try to match the beat as it changes to something more sensual yet still playful. Going along with the rhythm of the other dancers rather than against much smoother than Joshua's awkward attempt to mimic. He sticks behind you, failing to hide the blatant mesmerization at how you sway effortlessly to the beat.

"You're not bad at this at all."

You shrug. "I've been here often enough to blend in better than most. So tell me, what's a rich boy's usual scene then? Shanqin Bay's clubhouse?"

"Hah, you wanna come with me sometime and find out?"

"Only if you can promise a fun experience… oh," you throw a smirk at him over your shoulder, "and to cover all the costs, of course."

"A pretty thing like you would have anyone saying yes and wrapped around your little finger."

"Maybe, but only if they're worth my attention."

"Afraid to disappoint yet again when I spend most hours of the day in the operating room."

You turn abruptly to face him, grateful for the hand that shoots out to support your elbow despite his surprise at your dubious side-eye. "Are you a doctor?"

"Maybe."

"Director's son?"

"Cliché enough for you yet?"

"I recall someone who's wearing a Royal Oak saying I had good taste so I'm not going to complain. Though it would have been quite the story to hear you were the one under the knife," you take a step closer and slip a finger underneath his silver chain to tempt him closer, "to end up looking this good." When large hands hesitate to land on your hips, you raise an eyebrow. "Thought a surgeon would have a steadier grip."

"Oh." Brown eyes flicker with a carnal desire, focusing on your lips. "You expect me to be a rich, talented playboy and not be naturally handsome too?"

"Sorry, Doctor Hong but there has to be at least something wrong with you."

The polite smile he'd been wearing all night quirks up at the corners, changing into something more on edge. A little dangerous. Beckoning excitement. He spins you back around, hands solidly landing on your sides — this time without reserve — to prevent your lower bodies from touching and changes the subject back to when you approached Wonwoo and him.

"Do you always take drinks from guys?"

"Ah, hm. Just the good ones."

"Good alcohol?" His breath is hot against the ear he's speaking directly into. "Or… good boys?"

Biting your lower lip does nothing to hide the unfettered glee you're feeling. "Alcohol, of course." A breathy sigh and you take the leap. "Want a taste?"

There's no need to ask twice. It's like the right key turning its lock. The doctor's initial awkward movements are nowhere to be found as one hand smoothly leaves your hip, turning your chin toward him to meet you halfway with his lips ready to brush against yours.

At the last minute, he backs off and turns your chin to its original position of facing forward with a smirk you can't see. Who cares about a missed kiss when his other hand slides across your stomach? Urging you to press your ass backwards and grind against the very obvious bulge that his khakis do nothing to hide.

Its growing hardness and promising length cause you to automatically moan, arching your back with the feral need to feel more. Your head tilts to the side, hips swiveling and swaying not to the beat but the rise of his cock. The position willingly grants Joshua access to lick, suck, and bite at the exposed skin.

He hums along to the music with a melodic voice from what you can hear, though you find more enjoyment in the consistent vibrations against your neck. A naughty hand plays with the tucked-in hem of your blouse and an occasional finger teasingly slips under the waistline of your jeans.

You can now feel Joshua's smirk when in turn, your fingers tangle in the bottom hairs of his mullet. His lips curl up, moving to nibble behind your other ear and breathe in your scent. As delightfully predicted, there's a distinct pull by your rings when you tug them free from the strands that has him pausing. Eliciting a sharp hiss and equally as sharp — but appreciative — thrust against your backside.

In retaliation, the lax hand caressing your throat tightens around it ever so slightly while he growls in your ear, "You said there has to be something wrong with me, right?"

"Mhm, oh yeah. Totally."

"Wanna fuck around and find out, beautiful?"

Hook, line, and sinker was damn right, Boo Seungkwan. Of course, the devil would be wearing a shirt the same shade as the sky where heaven's clouds make their home.

And you eagerly take the forbidden fruit — his hand, once again — and teeter after him. The red flags are already starting to fly at full mast but into the dimly lit hallway you go, elated to find an empty and quiet corner right before the stairs leading down to the bathrooms.

Underneath the neon glow of the exit sign, Joshua pins you against the wall with your arms laying on his shoulders. If you thought the attacks from his mouth were rough on the dance floor, they turn ten times more animalistic now that he has something to support you with other than strong arms and big hands. A pair of soft lips and the warm wet tongue between them contrast with the digging in of his teeth that follow your necklace chain to its adorning pendant.

It hangs in the v-neck window of your blouse and he lets out a tiny grunt of displeasure at the breasts being concealed away by the fabric and its many buttons. That doesn't stop him from tugging the bottom of the shirt free like a petulant child, nothing preventing his fingers now free to tickle and feel up the bare skin beneath.

This man is good at distraction. You don't think much of the light grazing beneath your tits, only a fleeting and casual touch. It feels so good when he cups under them like an additional support for the bra you're wearing and squeezes, causing you to keen and push yourself further into him. Then quick as lightning, one hand sneaks around the back to unhook the bra's clasp and the other deftly unbuttons your jeans.

"Joshua!" you squeak in protest, stepping back and pressing flat against the wall. You're quick to rush and slap a hand against your chest to keep the beloved strapless bra that's served you well from falling to the ground. "Is your red flag undressing someone in public?"

"Only if you insist 'cause surely I would never decline such a request being the gentleman that I am." The doctor makes no further move despite the way he licks his lips and teases, only chuckling at the menacing way you squint. "Just know my full intentions are to be touching all over and especially under whatever layers you're wearing very shortly."

There's no use hiding the whine that escapes when he places a hand on the wall next to you and leans in with a smirk.

"However, sweetheart… "

You catch his line of sight dart off to the left and your heart plummets, the fear of being left high and dry (wet) setting in. "Josh — "

"You'll have to forgive this rich boy's schemes. You see, I've always been very spoiled and just have to take what I want right away. And you're much too irresistible…"

He speaks casually. Like your jeans weren't suddenly unzippered and he isn't currently running a tantalizing finger on the fabric below the waistband of your panties, causing them to soaken further down. Way more than they already had and almost where you need him but also not even close in the slightest.

"Though as a rich boy," he continues, "I'm more than familiar with providing a small courtesy here and there. Would this club's filthy bathroom offer enough privacy for you, gorgeous?"

"… Only if you make sure I'm presentable enough to get down there… and back up here after, for when I have to leave with my friends."

Joshua's eyes widen before he's throwing his head back and laughing, bright and cheery like he's not going to rearrange your guts. "So you don't expect to go home with me? Maybe I won't be such a walking red flag to you."

"Doubtful. Now fix me up, Doctor."

"With pleasure."

It's not like there are as many people milling about as in the main area. Still, it's good to be conscientious. The same adept hands re-fasten your top undergarment efficiently. When he ducks his head to kindly fix your pants — which is sort of hot — you take the opportunity to whisper in his ear for shit-and-giggles to gauge his reaction.

"You know there's a front clasp too."

He glances up from where he's eye-level with your covered breasts, eyes darkening. Bingo.

"What a little whore we have here, hm?"

The nonchalant, degrading question and burning desire in his gaze makes your knees weaken, arousal skyrocketing. Enough that you almost throw all caution to the wind for him to fuck you. Right here, right now. But then he's pulling away, offering a palm you can't seem to refrain from taking a hold of. And ever the true picture of being a gentleman — helps you descend down the dark stairwell.

Your killer heels really do nothing for you physically (besides the threat of rolling an ankle) because it doesn't matter how tall or short you end up with them on. It's the confidence and ego that are heightened exponentially, which is all that matters.

That's why you follow Joshua Hong into the sketchy bathroom, let him lock the door, and bat your eyelashes with a coy smile. Leaning against the sink and fussing with your blouse as he approaches like a predator eyeing up its prey. Greedily drinking in the bare skin revealed by each button that's undone until only one is still fastened — right across your tits — that the man can unclasp himself if he so chooses.

Barely anything stopped him before anyways.

And that's what also fuels you to put your arms around his neck, pressing your bodies close together. Even closer by hooking your right leg across his hip, the point of your heel digging intentionally into the back of his other thigh. It's hot and hard — the dick bulge that keeps growing pressed tightly into the snug warmth of your core — and Joshua lets you grind down and dampen his khakis for a few moments longer than expected.

"Desperate, aren't you? Didn't wanna fuck in public 'cause you're freakier behind closed doors?"

"Just a little." You fight back the urge to whimper or admit anything to him. Like you aren't humping his length that only swells more and feels achingly thicker the harder you rut against it, eyelids fluttering the few times it's able to deliciously spread your pussy lips just the slightest through your clothes. "I'm so wet — "

"The more of a mess you leave on my pants, the longer I'll have to edge you while waiting for them to dry." Joshua grins cockily at you trying to force your hips to stop themselves only to struggle pathetically in vain. "Think you'd like that. Haven't even gotten to fuck this hot little cunt yet and I'm already certain I wouldn't mind being buried in there for hours. But don't know if your friends will stick around for that long…"

"J-Josh, ah — Shua… mhm!"

"So I think you'd better behave if you know what's good for you," he stills your hips hard, "fuckin' slut."

You mewl at the hard, rude thrust that bumps your clit as if he was actually fucking you. Like goo, you let him manhandle you around so you're bent over and facing the smudged mirror, hands gripping tightly to each side of the sink basin. Aided by the reflections, you witness how he shamelessly ogles the tempting ass that's been rubbing all over him all night. And of course that means you have to perk up and wiggle your hips, giving him quite a show.

The small distance between you clears the lust cloud and you throw a smoldering glance over your shoulder. "If you fuck me with my heels on, I'll give you a chance with them off."

Joshua swats your ass — not very hard but you release a yelp of surprise. "Wasn't aware that you were running the show, sweetheart."

"It's my backside you're looking at."

"Knew you were mouthy the minute I saw you. You're aware of how kind I am, so let me give you a choice." He's anything but kind as he sighs and leans his weight over top of you. Despite the bracing strength of his arms, you feel suffocated by just being caged in between them and the overpowering scent of his cologne. "I shut you up with either my fingers in your mouth or around your throat."

Oh… decisions, decisions! Long fingers that would surely feel best deep inside your pussy but that wasn't one of the options. You purse your lips in thought and arch up, balancing the heavy cock supported by your ass and unconsciously pouting. Joshua has the audacity to look at the time while brushing back his hair and clicks his tongue.

"Wow, I'm letting you choose between sucking on my fingers like a slut or being choked like a whore and you still can't decide? What a high maintenance toy."

The urge to scoff is extremely strong. "Sucking it is then, Doctor Hong," you say sweetly and then add with a sneer, "like the perfect slut that I truly am."

"When your friends all said you were nothing but a gentle soul, I knew they were duped. Only one was partially truthful in saying you could be sassy which doesn't even come close. Little do they know there's a bratty cockwhore with quite a bite underneath all that charm."

"Haven't fucked any of them, that's why. No plans to either."

"Yeah, what was it you like — oh right, good boys?" He laughs — low, mean, and degrading. "Then what am I, sweetheart?"

"A doctor who's full of himself and needs taken down a few, ha, pegs."

"Ah, there it is." Joshua undoes the final button, slipping a curious finger beneath the bra's front hook pulling your tits together. You shiver when it snaps against your skin after he retracts, pointer finger tracing a lazy line up your throat to its final destination. "The attitude."

You willingly part your lips, lolling your tongue out mischievously to match the roll of your eyes. "Someone gets off on it."

"Is that so?" He smears the lipgloss on your lower lip by pulling it down before releasing it. "Do you think this is all a coincidence, darling?" Meeting the hardened gaze in the mirror, you shake your head. "The minute I saw such a sparkling gem on Wonwoo's story, I just had to have it for myself."

It's not hard to guess what he's referring to. A couple weeks ago, you wore enough scraps of fabric to just cover your nipples and the areas between your legs. Drinking far too much and hanging off of the WonGyu duo's broad frames while the whole gang partied it up together at Vernon's. You had even asked them to send you the videos and pictures after because damn, you did look hot as fuck.

Who knew it would be bait for an entitled pretty boy?

"At least you waited to find me when I wasn't drunk."

"Much more fun to break someone sober."

"Glad to know consensual exists in your vocabulary."

"How about it — will you let me destroy this little pussy of yours and ruin it to keep you crawling back to me for more?"

"Sure, if you ever stop talking and actually do something — "

Joshua's quick to shut you up, almost cracking your jaw with the harsh thumb that's jammed in the corner of your mouth to prop it open. The following two fingers are thrust cruelly inside as a replacement so it can move to keep your chin steady. They're able to reach so far when pinning down your tongue, ending up wedged near the back of your throat so you're already gagging around them.

"Most sluts behave the second I drop the nice guy act. But boy oh boy, it only makes you act up more, eh?"

He finally does away with your bra to allow those gorgeous tits to spill out and casually rips the garment from your body like it's personally offended him. Maybe it has. Shoving it away into his back pocket and then urgently tugging your jeans down. The binding position you're left in helps keep your shaky legs in place while you cling to the sink like it's a lifeline. Upper body supported only by the cruel hold he has on your face until he yanks it back so you're flush against him instead, the cool baby-blue silk of his shirt set ablaze by your shared body heat.

"Next time, wear something that has easier access. Or better yet… maybe nothing at all or I'll be forced to rip it off." A piercing set of eyes attempt to glare into yours that roll back delightfully despite what's likely some snark ends up sounding all jumbled. "Oh yes, there will be a next time, sweetheart. I have to train this cunt to yearn for my cock — and you don't think you'll get it that easily, right?"

Joshua chuckles darkly knowing you can't reply. But liking to be full of surprises, you relax your upper jaw while his fingers trail across your pelvis and close your lips around the ones in your mouth. Suckling and swirling once the tension in them relaxes despite the naughty thought of biting. That doesn't eliminate the occasional graze of your teeth as a threat, responding to his words in your own way.

"Just look at yourself, slobbering all over… bet you suck cock like a champ. And prolly like it real messy. How well-trained you'd look trying to balance on these pointed heels while I fuck that bratty mouth."

You moan at the visual he's painted in your head.

"That's right, darling." There's a mean pinch to your clit followed by the man's groan at the ruined fabric squelching between his fingertips and how the covered little nub was already begging for friction. "Now tell me how long your cunt's been warming up and soaking these drenched panties?"

"Since the beginning…" you admit once he's freed your sore mouth and chooses to bully your breasts next. "When you looked at me."

He snickers, pushing your underwear to the side and petting at the bare slippery folds. Just able to barely see a small glimpse of where his actions play with your lower body in the mirror. At least your expressions make up for what he misses seeing.

"Aw, this soft pussy started drooling the minute I laid eyes on you? While I was imagining all the things I could do to these tits," the hand on one of them palms at the rounded flesh hard. "This ass," his pelvis grinds in a slow circle against it. "Mhm, and of course, this hidden gem."

At that, a thumb brutally rubs at your clit while plunging a finger inside the warm, wet walls that eagerly pulse around it. You weren't wrong about how good the digit would feel inside, the length and stretch of its bony knuckle feeling good enough to substitute as a mini-dick when Joshua starts a slow and methodical pace with it.

"Thought about having you spread out in the backseat of my Bugatti La Voiture Noire, you'd look like a vision laying across its leather seats. And the best thing? No one can see inside so you'll get your much desired privacy while being right out in the open."

Then he's adding another finger, longer than the first. And finally one more with an additional push in and out of the others. Clearly his experience on how to work a pussy is more than helpful. Alternating between stuffing your hole full of all three or changing up the pace and number each turn.

And of course, your chest is attended to as well. Both nipples tugged in iterations to match the rhythm of each finger spearing into your cunt, the pendant of your necklace bouncing in time. Without fail, he hits the bundle of nerves with a deadly precision that has you going slack against him.

"Maybe we should do that 'cause," he mumbles in your ear, "this filthy hole is awfully good at convincing me to spoil its owner like no one else. Let's see if it can tell me how much it'll want me to fill it up one day."

Your ears ring with the devastating screams of white noise at the sudden stop. The moans you were letting out trail off into a dissatisfied growl. His hand falls away from your upper body while the one in between your legs merely sits nice and snug, still inside but not moving. Far too relaxed, limp even.

"Joshua!"

"C'mon, weren't you listening? Convince me."

"Fuck you," is what you spit out, glaring at the challenging and impossibly smug reflection of the menace behind you.

"You didn't say fuck off, so… I'm waiting."

Another check at his watch like he's bored infuriates you enough to move your hips. Whining at how his fingers fail to stiffen and only follow your pitiful motions back and forth. Out of protest, you reach behind and take a harsh hold of the hard length you're able to grab.

"Watch it, darling!" Joshua flinches and the way his cock twitches dulls the venomous words that come next. "Or I'll leave you here all needy and by yourself, waiting for some other pathetic dick to hop onto in order to satiate just a little bit of this wet and slutty pussy's behaviors."

Well, that idea doesn't appeal to you whatsoever so you lean on the sink with a huff to do what needs done. It's a struggle to stay balanced on your heels while grabbing at his wrist but a small part of you knows he won't let you fall, a bicep supporting under your breasts. Revenge comes sweetly by digging your nails into the tense muscle of his forearm and leaving scratch marks that have him hissing.

And now you know for sure — despite the doctor's incredibly huge ego and big talk, Joshua Hong's no better than a painslut.

"Hah," you breathe out and start to slowly rock your hips. "Disrespectfully, go to hell."

Ignoring the abrasive insult — because he's a demon anyways — Joshua focuses on the wet suctioning sound growing louder the faster you move. The feeling of your tits and necklace hitting his arm to the beat of your hip bounces and enjoying the view of how his fingers disappear beyond the jiggle of your asscheeks. Up into the tight heat of velvety walls as you force his hand to behave and serve your needs like one of your dildos, though they've never been this uncooperative.

"That's it. Yeah, there we go… just like that. Go ahead and make yourself cum riding my fingers, beautiful. Uh-huh, now who's using me like a little whore to get off?"

You're already losing yourself. Waiting for that rising wave to crest because despite his annoying mouth, Joshua's fingers are more than skilled enough to hurl you into a delightful climax. As long as nothing interrupts it.

"Answer me — or I'll make you choke yourself."

"Mhm…"

He likes seeing how your face contorts, moans getting louder. It's too addicting which is why he growls out, "Do it."

It's a feat to let go of the sink but the reward is to move his arm around your bra-line to your throat, making his hand envelope it. The visual in the mirror is depraved — limbs all wrapped and tangled with each other — and your half-closed eyes taunt the searing gaze in the mirror, repeating his words right back.

"Why not do it yourself, Doctor?"

"Are you some sort of succubus or what?" He spits out the question like it's the germs on the toilet seat next to you. Freeing himself momentarily from the grip of your hand and your cunt, the man's at least nice enough to assuage the pissed off whine with a consoling lick up your neck and tugs impatiently at your pants. "Take these off."

"Go fuck yourself," you mutter darkly with half the mind to walk out of there. But you do as he says, quickly shimmying them off while your clit buzzes and twitches angrily at the neglect of stimulation again.

Joshua's eyes don't look away, his hands steadying your hips and your pussy aching when you hear how he slowly slurps on his fingers to clean them. Once you step back into your heels, he throws the jeans over his shoulder.

"Careful with the phone," you threaten.

Joshua snorts and bends over to secure a strap for you — sucking harshly on the skin of your thigh as a "you're welcome" but pulling away before your hands can tangle in his hair and keep him down there.

"Wrong thing to say to someone who likes broken and expensive things. Shouldn't you be warning me not to break something else?" Suddenly, your other shoe dangles precariously off your foot when he uses a strong hand to lift and support your leg onto the sink's surface. "Like this poor pussy?"

The straining burn in your muscles and the added chill of the porcelain is all alleviated by harsh rubbing at the tender skin of your entrance. Middle and pointer finger eagerly prying sloppy pussy lips apart once again.

"Ah, but I might enjoy that."

A clear glob of arousal drips from your hole fluttering and clenching around nothing. Joshua leers hungrily past your shoulder at the mirror's erotic display of your exposed cunt and the wetness shining under the buzz of the bathroom's fluorescent lights.

"Dirty and yet it's such a pretty little jewel. Sparkling and glistening so, so lovely that I can't wait to watch it shatter while playing with it."

Finally, all three fingers from before work in tandem to scissor repeatedly inside of your tight warmth without forgiveness. This time, the devil has nothing but good intentions to send you over the peak of pleasure. His eyes can't stop feasting on the raunchy way your greedy hole gobbles up his fingers. The loud squelches accompanying his motions echo around the small enclosed space, mixing with the warm breath hitting the side of his cheek from your gasping moans.

Joshua thinks it's mighty cute how puffy your outer pussy lips grow and struggle to spread around the thick and long digits shoved inside plus the onslaught of his thumb bullying your clit. The angle shows the slightest bulge of them relentlessly stroking the bundle of nerves that has your leg twitching from the sheer pleasure.

He focuses on bringing you there, all on what you're feeling rather than his own pleasure because you have the most convincing cunt ever that deserves to be ravaged by a large, girthy cock. A shame it has to wait because he cannot give in so easily. But you're definitely a piece of work. Joshua likes that.

"Gonna keep making a mess on my fingers, darling? Leave 'em all sweet and wet enough for me to wrap around my dick later and pretend it's your pussy instead."

You'll be the death of him when your head rolls into the crease of his neck, drool dampening the skin as you mouth senselessly at the vein protruding beneath. There's a sharp sting — the certain kind he hasn't felt in a very long time. A telltale warning of a hickey, the beautiful colors of red and purple already rushing to the surface and decorated by little nips of your teeth after you soothe the pain with your tongue.

No one marks up Joshua Hong. Sure, he's had lipstick stains before but those can easily be swiped off with a handkerchief and washed away in the shower. He can't help but smirk though, knowing when he eventually wipes your sticky lipgloss off, something of you will remain for a bit.

However you can't go without a little punishment. If you can even call it that when he returns to wrapping a hand around your throat. Anyone else who dared to leave a mark would be walked away from. But you — you simply lose enough oxygen causing your head to spin more pleasantly than it already is.

And you claw at his forearm, scratching it up ten times more to serve as a further reminder for Joshua to look at. You're by no means urging him to stop but to earnestly keep going while simultaneously searching for something — anything — to anchor you down as you float into an almost unconscious state of pure ecstasy.

It's by far the strongest, most intense orgasm you'd ever experienced. Becoming nothing but a bag of bones in his arms as your walls pulsate around his fingers and the fruitful expenditure of your release drips down his wrist.

He stays in that position, unable to move anyways with the vice-like grip of your spasming cunt cramping his fingers. Instead, drawing out the pleasure as much as possible by squeezing and releasing the pressure on your throat over and over again. The true picture of debauchery — heaven and sin mixed in one — and he kind of wishes for a third arm to take a photo for a keepsake.

Everything in your body aches deliciously. You feel both refreshed and exhausted when you finally come to and even then Joshua supports your weak body as you try to regain control over your wits and whereabouts.

"Pants," you croak out and wave him off when he tries to gentlemanly assist. Which he still kind of has to when you almost topple face-first on legs that feel like jelly. "Bra."

Joshua's a little less enthusiastic to hand that over, bitter sarcasm lacing his words. "Wow, won't even grant me a souvenir?"

"Boo-hoo," you gripe back and pretend not to notice the eyes glued to the way your tits bounce when adjusting the garment around them. Turning to look in the mirror, you work on dulling the "just got fingered in the bathroom" appearance. "It's not like you need one and it seems even less likely you'll keep anything from a stranger, especially lingerie."

"Hm, I like how well you read me."

"Of course you do, fuels that large privileged ego. Don't get used to it. But, want me to do something about that one though?"

He coughs at the rather suggestive insult, shifting his pants and shirt that does absolutely nothing to hide the messy boner you're referencing. "Guess I did a great job if you're begging for it already."

"Oh, for goodness sake I'm being courteous."

"Cute."

Joshua admits it almost like he's startled by the words that escape his mouth. Further surprising both of you with a clumsy, sloppy kiss to the cheek when he leans over to fasten the top button of your blouse. As if embarrassed, he's already halfway out the door when he remembers to mention, "I'll be thinking of you darling, look forward to your call!"

You're left staring at the saliva spot reflected on your cheek in shock. And then, you wipe it off with the rest of the accumulated sweat to make yourself a bit more presentable and then head back to the club as naturally as possible.

Dr. Hong is seemingly nowhere in sight as expected. You figure it would be hard to return with a raging boner despite the low lighting and he probably left through the back exit to likely jerk off in his ridiculously expensive car. The visual of white ropes of cum streaming past the steel band of the Royal Oak around his wrist haunts your mind, making your aching core buzz to life again and your sticky panties even grosser.

Out of pure spite, you hope he stains his shirt too.

Luckily, Seungkwan is still at the bar when you wobble over in search of him. He shouts your name in mock shock, assessing your appearance with pursed lips and eyeballing your figure dubiously.

"You look like hell."

"Yeah?" you laugh it off as nonchalantly as possible, unaware of the phone in your back pocket lighting up with a returned text message from a newly saved number and a scandalous picture attached. "I just got back."

onlyseokmins: July 2023 ©

#ez.creates #svthub #joshua hong smut #joshua smut #svt smut #seventeen smut #kpop smut #smut #hong joshua smut #hong jisoo smut #if this flops so does the hong schlong #i fist fought this joshua in the parking lot and WON #svt.smut

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minhosimthings · 3 months

Text

A La Folie ft. Jay

Synopsis: Wounds came and went. All in the circle of life am I right? The greatest warrior among all the kings, Park Jay. For him, seeing blood was like seeing the sky. It was a daily routine which he could not escape. Yes sometimes he had grave injuries, which he wouldn't stop to take care of, with him being a workaholic. But sometimes healers do more than heal physical wounds, and for Jay, you did exactly that.

Pairings: King!Jay × healer!fem!reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, no smut (yet hehe), mentions of blood, violence, domestic abuse, mentions of cheating, mistresses (don't read it if you can't handle it), mentions of food, Jay has a REALLY tragic past sorry bout that, reader is an orphan, also this is really dramatic IM SORRY I CANT NOT WRITE DRAMA, open ending oohh

A/N: EYYY MR JAY PARK WOOHOO Ngl I was so excited to write this but the exams and all made this kinda difficult to write so if anyone has been waiting for this I'm sorry for the extremely long wait. Also yes this wil be in three parts yay. @yunabi436 this is for you baby 😽

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

The French Quotes Series Masterlist

"And from Aphrodite's rotten lovesick blood did the white flowers turn into a darker shade of red, eternally forming the flower of love."

Aphrodite and the hunter Adonis' tale had been one of boars, blood, lust and love.

For the young king of the iron-kingdom of Vadronia (rightly given its moniker), the only thing he cared about in all of those four things were the boars and the blood.

Jay Park's kingdom wasn't the strongest in all of Paradoxica just in a penny's wish and a flick of a tail feather. It was quote unquote 'molten from iron itself' as all its rulers were.

From all of his brothers, Jay was probably the one who took his duties as a warrior seriously.

Well, a bit too seriously, according to the said brothers.

"Jay would you please stop running so fast?" Sunghoon panted, putting his hands on his knees and breathing heavily as beads of sweat dripped from his hair and skin.

The mud track was always the hardest one to trench upon, and with Jay on your trail? It was hell. Atleast that's what Jake and Sunghoon described it as.

"Are you going to be saying that when you're running from enemy horses?" Jay turned back and glared at Sunghoon, the light autumn breeze giving him peace as it whipped his hair around.

"For God's sake Jay, no one is going to invade us now." Heeseung walked into the scene, with much less sweatier clothes and an arrow clutched in his hand, indicating he had come back from his target practice, "Give the poor guys a break."

"Yes please give us a break I'll go down on my knees." Jake was close to collapsing on the floor, his hand desperately clutching onto the nearby flag pole for support.

"You'd go down on your knees for your best friend." Jay scoffed, throwing his head back to shake the sweat out of his hair follicles, because as glorious as they were, the stray strands still annoyed him, "And you." He turned towards Heeseung, who, even though was much taller than Jay, now looked like a dwarf in front of Jay's broad figure, "How many times do I have to remind you to come for practice?"

"It's not my fault." Heeseung jut out his bottom lip, he always loved acting cute in front of Jay even if he was older, "Little princess back at home has been spying on me. And not gonna lie, I am extremely aroused."

"Why did I even ask?" Jay rolled his eyes and stretched out his arms, the bright burning sun reflecting in his eyes like the moonshine he loved so much, which he drank by the fireplace as he penned down poetry he could show to no one.

"So Jayyyy" Sunghoon dragged his words out, "Felt any sparks lately?"

"Ask that question again and you'll be running twenty laps round this track." Jay promptly replied, cleaning his face with the lavender-smelling towel the nearby servant handed to him. He always loved the lavender scented things, it reminded him of the springs with his mother, oh how she would tease him with tiny flowers in his hair, and the clink of her ruby created dagger in her belt. The dagger lay soulless now, sitting in a secretive place in Jay's room, as he stared at it and remembered that moment again and again. His bastard father, no matter how many times Jay had cursed him, he still couldn't get it out of his mind.

His mother, his compassionate, kind mother, didn't deserve to bleed out from his father's turn of blade.

And no matter how many potions he took, the smell of the blood filled ballroom still lingered in his nose at night, when he would jolt awake in cold sweat, wanting to cling onto his mother, but then he'd remember that he wasn't eight anymore, she was gone.

"Jay you're my brother and I really respect you a lot." Heeseung started, sitting Jay down on the oak bench, while Jake and Sunghoon quietly sneaked out, running for their lives back to their horses, "But you've got to find someone to love in your life, you've got to get over your fear."

"Weren't you the one who was complaining about love to Jake and I a few days ago?" Jay raised a magnificently trimmed brow, to which Heeseung chuckled.

"Yep but then I fell into that rabbit hole and I seem to like it, a bit too much perhaps." Heeseung stared into the distance, instantly losing his dramatic moment as the setting sun hit his pupils.

"Yeah, someday when I'm older maybe." Jay fiddled with his fingers, he never could keep them still, "But for now, I wanted to ask if you'd want to come with me on a hunt tomorrow?"

"A hunt?" Heeseung quizzed, lifting himself with much difficulty off of the bench, bow in hand, "You haven't invited me to a hunt in ages."

"Necessity is the mother of invention." Jay got up as well, scented towel still in hand, "And in this case it's that wild boar our men have been hunting since last month, been terrorizing the border between Tarnow and Vadronia now. I'm surprised you haven't noticed yet."

"Consider me blinded by love." Heeseung threw a flirtatious wink at Jay, who visibly gagged, "I'll be there."

"I'll be waiting."

"No no no, Jay, we, under no circumstances, apply essence of Hibiscus to a water snake's venom." A lady with greying hair sighed, bending over a wooden cup, while a sturdy, black haired man gulped heavily and stared nervously at the herbs in his hand.

Jay was never very successful in his healing classes, and under the strict gaze of his teacher, old Mrs.Chun, he was far away from catching the train of success.

"I don't get it." Jay frowned like a child, setting the hibiscus flower down on the table filled with healing equipments of all kind, "Wasn't the essence of Hibiscus supposed to combat this snake's venom?"

The old lady sighed again and rolled her eyes, snatching the hibiscus from the table and setting it into a basket full of the bright red flowers. With her other hand, she picked up a wicker work basket of lavender and lifted it up to Jay.

"Lavender. I said lavender remember?" She smiled up at Jay like an encouraging teacher, "Lavender for the wounds which make a man turn purple, and hibiscus for the blood drops."

Jay mumbled the rule under his mouth before pressing the lavender petals to the venom splanched across the bown om front of him. The purplish colour immediately turned a healing shade of dark yellow, satisfying Jay and letting out a sigh of relief from the old lady.

"Just some more practice and patience and you'll be a good healer in no time." Mrs. Chun patted Jay's arm sympathetically.

"But why do I even need to be a healer?" Jay asked curiously, putting the box of potions up on the shelf where they belonged, "I'm already a warrior."

"Every great warrior needs to know how to tend to his own wounds." The old lady smiled, looking curiously at a green flask, "I made a vow to your mother to never let you fail in this subject."

Jay smiled fondly at the thought of his mother spending her hours in the infirmary along with Mrs. Chun. Mrs. Chun herself was like his mother figure, providing him the hugs his 14 year old self needed so bad years ago.

"And remember Jay!" Mrs. Chun called out just as Jay was about to leave the room, "I won't be here for the entirety of next month."

"But then who's going to look after the infirmary?" Jay turned back and raised a quizzical brow at Mrs.Chun, who smiled gently.

"My apprentice will." She promptly replied, "She's a nice girl, I told her all about your predicament of failing at healing." Jay let out a chuckle at Mrs.Chun's joke, "She'll take your classes alright?"

"Don't miss me too much Mrs.Chun!" Jay laughed, "I'm your favourite remember?"

Mrs.Chun laughed heartily to herself. Oh that boy, she thought, still a bit at heart even if he was a man to the world.

Only a bit of love perhaps, can truly lead him to show this side of him to the world.

Jay sighed heavily as he plopped down on his armchair, the most comfortable one by the fire.

Love, he scoffed, what a stupid, dangerous thing.

He believed his father to love his mother, he believed his mother to love his father even as he went out every night to quote unquote 'find himself'. Mistresses were awful buisness, and no Queen had ever objected her king having one. But of course, his mother had to object, she had to be different. She had to storm in to her husband and his lover and confront them. And his father, fire-filled man he was, had to strike a blade through her belly, making her bleed out in 14 year old Jay's arms.

And of course, Jay, blinded by his rage, had to strike his father back, skilled as his father was, Jay was more fleet footed, and in the blink of an eye, his father and his father's new toy were lying in cold blood on the floor, as Jay sobbed, clutching his mother's body, dead as a fish out of the ocean.

And his brothers had noticed, they had always noticed how Jay was never the same from that day. From the happy boy who loved to write stories and poetry and who hated to even step foot in the training yard, Jay became the mercenary king, ready with his sword clutched in hand, and his poems long forgotten to silence and withering darkness.

But it wasn't to say that Jay was a ruthless ruler, he chose not to take that path, especially not after half the kingdom starved under the rule of his father. It wouldn't have been a lie to say he was the kindest one in all of Paradoxica, except he didn't really show it in the way he spoke or acted, but by the way he controlled the administration and whatnot of the kingdom. This kept his busy, seldom leaving time for any other activities, much to the disappointment of his brothers, especially Heeseung, who had always been the closest to him, who had known what he was truly like, deep inside.

Clutching his eagle feather quill, one of his most dearest ones, Jay dipped the tip into his ink pot, letting the excess ink dry off before pressing it to his leather bound diary.

When he wrote the feelings he couldn't ever say out loud onto the softwood paper, Jay felt a sort of contentment, he had always been a clandestine philophile, so to write his proses on the idea of love, death and misery, was to create a beautiful choreography on his mindset.

Alas, if there was only someone he could show them to, someone who would understand what Jay meant in the lines, even with his messy loopy calligraphy, that would have been a dream truly come true.

But how could a man who wrote poems to challenge the angels of love themselves, ever find love?

But I am a mere narrator, what would I know?

And sometimes, just sometimes, Cupid lurked in the ballrooms of dancing princes and in the dark inkpots of oxymoronic kings.

"I have no idea what's happening, but I'm happy to be here." Sunghoon's beautiful Clydesdale horse pranced around on the grass, as energetic and as similar a persona as her owner.

"Would you tell her to calm down?" Heeseung's own chestnut's hooves guided him towards Sunghoon, "She needs the energy for the hunt." Heeseung easily managed to calm the mare down by scratching behind her eyes, to which Sunghoon drooped since he had been enjoying the prancing around a bit too much.

"Why are we going on a hunt again?" Jake adjusted his saddle, making sure he was buckled in properly to his Fox Trotter horse, "Aren't we above killing animals now?"

"Your best friend tell you that?" The clip clopping of Jay's magnificent Dutch Warmblood sent all of the soldiers to silence, "And if the animal is a wild boar, no we aren't above that."

"Whatever you say, oh great King." Sunghoon snickered, as he did a sort of bow on his horse, making everyone laugh.

"Oh shut up." Jay rolled his eyes, clutching onto his horse's hair, and leaning into his usual stance, "Come on now, don't want to keep a beauty waiting do we?" And with the mighty neigh of his horse, he rode off into the forest, followed by Heeseung, Jake and Sunghoon, who followed with dramatic sighs.

"Sometimes I wonder if he just wants to live in an adventure book and say cringey lines all the time." Sunghoon jested, making the others laugh.

"Where on earth is Sunoo?" Jay shouted out, completely ignoring the statement made about him, as the rest of the three managed to catch up to his horse's pace.

"Probably tending to his vineyard." The wind whipped Jake's hair around, "God knows if he'd ever accept coming to a hunt with us."

"Maybe a grape hunt-"

"Shh!"

Jay's action of stopping his horse, and shushing everyone startled the others, and as the clopping of hooves quietened down, they understood why Jay had stopped so abruptly.

The rustling of the nearby begonia bushes, combined with the noises of an animal which sounded extremely similar to a wild boar, alerted them, as they drew out their swords, daggers and metal tipped arrows, all from treasure chest of Vadronia's amazing metalwork, aiming them at the begonia bushes, as Jay held up his closed fist to give the command.

"Come on out." Jay whispered to no one in particular but himself, as the begonia bushes began shaking more rapidly and the sounds of an animal's footsteps came nearer.

"Hey maybe we should-" Heeseung bagan quietly to Jay, but was interrupted by the ripping of the begonias into shreds.

And there it was, what Jay had been waiting for.

A big wild boar in its full magnificence.

Ivory tusks in full gleam, swathes of brown fur all over its damaged skin, with wounds from previous hints. A ture display of its strength, Jay thought, it wanted to intimidate them, as if to say 'see how many people haven't defeated me yet, why do you think you stand a chance?'.

"Steady now, Lady." Jay patted his horse, which was ever so graciously named Lady, although the mare's personality in battle was far away from a lady's. Jay always preferred mares to horses, he though they were more faster and agile, while horses used their brute strength. And he had a hatred from brute strength. It was what got her killed after all.....

"Jake look out!" Heeseung cried out, snapping Jay out of his daze of staring into the boar's eyes. Of all the animals of the world, he hated this one the most, he hated the way his father loved to hunt them, and how he'd come home from hunts everyday drenched in blood with a boar skull im his hands, from which his mother would recoil from, what with her hatred of the smell of iron.

Hatred, that's all that was there in Jay's life. And that's all there will be.

"Jay, we have to get back come on!" Sunghoon cried, his horse already galloping away. The boar was far too big for them to contain. "Jay?" Heeseung peered back, "Jay no!"

But the sturdy built man's ears heeded no warning as he stepped along to the boar, his sword clutched tightly in hand, the carving of his name in the metal shining bright, as if to warn the spirit of the forest that he has arrived.

"Hyung what's happe-" Jake and Sunghoon's horses had turned back to see why the eldest wasn't coming, only to see Jay stabbing at the boar, while Heeseung tried to get Lady, who was close to prancing away into the depths of the forest.

"Help me would ya!" Heeseung cried, flinging his rope around Lady's magnificent neck, to which Sunghoon and Jake came quick and flung their own ropes, "One of you help Jay!"

"I'll go!" Sunghoon's horse galloped towards Jay, but to his shock, he saw that the boar was already lying, its movements still, and Jay standing drenched in blood.

It was dead.

Jay's sword was decorated with ribbons of maroon.

"Jay what the..." Sunghoon began, but he could find no words. The boar had been big, two times the size and strength of any ordinary man, and now it was kneeling at Jay's command, kneeling dead and cold as a fish.

"It's dead." Jay growled, his breathing too heavy, and his hand clutching a particularly dark spot on his stomach, as Heeseung and Jake came to the scene, having calmed Lady down, "The tusk...."

"The tusk? What about the- Jay!" Heeseung cried, before jumping off his horse and quickly moving towards Jay's graceful falling figure.

The last thing Jay felt was the feeling of wet grass underneath his head, Heeseung's hand over his wrist, and the familiar scent of feminine lavender pressing over him before everything went dark as he had always wished for it to be.

Jay never cared much about his injuries. No matter how big or small they were, no matter if it was a paper cut to the thumb or an arrow head to the shoulder, he would simply say "Injuries happen, it's a part of life" and move on. Which proved to be a source of annoyance for his brothers, especially Jake, who had an eye for healing.

But Jay was a firm believer in the notion that twenty four hours a day simply wasn't enough. He wanted more, he craved for more, more time, more work. Although he wouldn't admit it, everyone was in unison with the fact that he was Paradoxica's biggest workaholic.

And when it came back to the topic of injuries, Jay would still keep working, whether or not he was stuck in bed, because Heeseung had forced him to stay there.

Heeseung remembered Jay's younger days. How Jay would whine and do nothing if he got even the tiniest splinter in his finger. How he would beg for a day off from studies if he merely stubbed his tie against the kitchen ladder while sneaking out to steal pastries. But the horrible incident had changed every aspect of Jay, and now, he wouldn't stop working if every limb in his body was broken.

"All for the good of the people" he reasoned.

Usually Mrs.Chun had taken care of him, scolded him too many times about taking rests whenever he'd come back from battles or fights with blood flowing out his nose. But even then he didn't care. So the vision of waking up to Mrs.Chun's berry scent was a norm for him whenever he'd get injured.

But now, the room wasn't berry scented, and nor was Mrs. Chun sitting in the corner, waiting for him to wake up.

A girl?

A girl, wearing Mrs.Chun's apron, had her head rested against his table, her eyes fluttered close.

Were his eyes tricking him or did Mrs.Chun suddenly become thirty years younger?

Feeling something heavy on his waist, Jay tried to lift his head from his pillow, letting out a guttural groan as he did. God what was hurting him so much? He could feel something hurting at his stomach.

"Your Majesty, lie back down." He heard someone say, and as he opened his eyes, he saw the girl bending over him, forcing him to lie back down on the bed.

Jay stared at her for a few moments, trying to remember who she is before the candle went off in his mind.

The apprentice.

You were Mrs.Chun's apprentice.

"Are you Mrs.Chun's apprentice?" Jay groaned, feeling his head throb and his fingers were aching too.

You nodded promptly, before pushing Jay gently back onto the bed as he tried to get back.

"I'm sorry to inform you, Your Majesty, but you aren't getting up for another two weeks. You were stabbed by a wild boar's tusk." You stated firmly, shocking Jay at how casually you had addressed him, "His Highness Heeseung told me to handcuff you to the bed if you even try to move."

"Handcuff me?" Jay chuckled, moving his body slightly to lessen the pressure on his legs, "Where are you even going to get-"

Jay's sentence was cut off abruptly as your hands pulled out a pair of heavy metal from a secret pocket in the olive green dress you were wearing, and held it in front of Jay, effectively silencing him.

"I'm sorry if that was rude, but you are my patient, Your Majesty.." Your mouth let out a chuckle, sending a weird sensation into Jay's stomach, which he had never felt before, "So, I will do anything and everything in order to make you rest."

"So what may I address you by, My lady?" Jay quizzed you, his head now no longer throbbing for some reason. He studied your features for a while, he thought your eyes were pretty, decorated by a thin lining of kohl. Your figure was pretty too, wrapped in the striking colour of the dress you were in, combined with the beautifully familiar way you wore your hair.

"Definetly not by 'My lady'." You chuckled, picking up your dress, and sinking into a curtsy, "Y/N, you may call me Y/N, Your Majesty."

"Pretty name." Jay complemented, watching you stand up straight from your curtsy and smile impishly at him.

"You've got to take your medicine now." You reached into your apron's pocket and pulled a big vial, which was filled with a bubbling, golden liquid, "Now, according to Mrs.Chun, tricks by pretty people often work on you."

"Pretty people?" Jay scoffed childishly, thinking about whether or not he thought Heeseung was pretty, as you measured out the liquid into a cup, "Mrs.Chun needs to have a check for up there. And do you really think you're pretty?"

You strode towards him with the cup in your hand, and smiled widely. "Well, pardon me Your Majesty, but from the way you were staring at me five minutes ago, yes. I do think I'm pretty."

"Don't get your ego up." Jay warned, taking the cup from you, letting his mind linger for a few minutes on how your delicate fingers brushed his scarred ones softly, "Your parents mus'nt have taught you manners did they?"

"Well, firstly, I don't have parents." You smiled, "And secondly I need to check your bandages, they seem to be bleeding again."

So that was what the pain radiating from his stomach was, Jay thought, as he looked down to see his bandages streaked a darker shade of red. He quickly gulped down the golden liquid in the cup, a visibly disgusted expression forming on his face at how bitter it was, and looked up at you, with widened eyes.

"So...?" He said, expectantly, seeing you fumble with some clean cloth, another vial of what looked like cream, and a safety pin.

"Tell me where it hurts when I change them alright?" You said gently, making his lay down on the bed again, "and uh..."

"What?" Jay questioned, seeing your eyes linger at his wound or more specifically, his ab muscles, "Oh you can touch them it's fine."

"Oh. Oh yeah alright." You said, feeling your face heat up slightly. Bandaging him when he was still unconscious was easier than this, when he was awake. God his stare was so attractive to you, even now, as you gently touched his bandages, replacing them with cleaner cloth, you tried hard not to brush your fingers against his abs.

"Enjoying the view?" Jay asked, a cockish sneer to his voice. "There's a view to enjoy Your Majesty?" You fired back, although you most certainly were enjoying staring at him.

"You're an interesting one." Jay said, trying to make small talk as you lightly pressed against the smaller wounds with the cream, "Y/N wasn't it?"

"Yep." You said with a pop of your lips, finishing wrapping his wounds with a slight tap to check if they were secure, "And please do stay in bed and don't work. If you need anything, I'm right outside. His highness Heeseung has told me to rest in the chambers opposite yours."

The chambers opposite to his, his parents' chambers. God did Jay hate that room, all big and filled with skulls from hunts.

"If you want to you can go home, I can manage on myself." Jay said, his eyes set on yours. Why was it so hard to maintain eye contact with you?

"I know how that idea works." You smiled again, bringing that weird sensation back into Jay's stomach, "I'll go and then you'll order someone to bring you your work, so His Highness Heeseung specifically asked me not to leave. I guess you're stuck with me Your Majesty." You curtsied to finish off the impression.

"Jay." He spoke again, to your confusion, which made him stifle a chuckle, "Please, call me Jay."

"Jay." You smiled to yourself, "Well, ring that bell if you need anything."

As you left the room, quietly shutting the door behind you, Jay had the sudden urge to kick his feet in the air. The room was filled with lavender scent, your lavender scent to be specific, and it gave Jay a sense of calm, which in turn reduced the pain radiating from his stab wound.

Well this would be an interesting two weeks.

"Your Majesty what on Earth are you doing?"

Jay froze in his position at hearing a stern voice. Your stern voice, to be precise.

"Resting?" He said, trying to hide his cheeky smile, as he slowly backed away from his table. Rolling your eyes, you quickly got him back to the bed, worried that his bandages will open back again. But the only thing Jay was worried about was that his work wasn't getting completed.

"How about this?" You asked, as you finally managed to wrestle him back to the bed, "I'll do the work for you, if you agree to rest. It's in that diary right?"

"I can't let you do that." Jay grumbled, reaching for your arm, as you hurried to get to the diary on his table. The cold touch of his hand on your warmer skin made you flinch heavily, which in turn made Jay pull his hand away.

"I'm sorry." Jay quickly apologised, as you rubbed your arm, "I- That's my private diary, I don't really allow people to see it."

"Oh, my apologies then." You curtsied, still rubbing your arm, feeling extremely cold for some reason, even if the warm daylight was coming into the room through the window, "Your Majesty-"

"Jay." He corrected, shooting you the tiniest fragment of a smile.

"Jay." You said again, this time feeling more at ease, "You've got to rest, I'm begging you. Those bandages won't magically heal you until you rest. If there's anything I can do to get you to rest, I'll do it."

Jay's ears weren't actually listening to anything. His mind was too distracted again, by your scent. God damn his strong sense of smell, but you smelled like memories he wanted to forget.

"Tell me what perfume you use and then I won't work." Jay looked up at you with a cheeky smile. He didn't know why, but he felt comfortable to show you his smile, which he didn't often feel with the ladies in their paraffin socks.

"I- that's a peculiar question." You said, not knowing what to feel aboutthe actual King asking you about your perfume.

"I swear on my own grave that I will rest if the great healer Y/N tells me her perfume." Jay recited, keeping his hand on his chest for dramatic effect.

"It's the lavender one we get in the town square from Marcella's." You raised your chin up high, "Now would you rest?"

"Hmmm let me think." Jay dramatically sighed, "No."

"Your Majesty, I will beg." You breathed desperately, "I will seriously-"

"Your collarbone." Jay interrupted, his attention diverting from your eyes to your shoulder, "There's something on your collarbone."

Jay took note of the way your eyes flickered quickly and worriedly to your collarbone, and how you rushed to pull the sleeve of your dress up to cover it, clearing your throat afterwards to clear the awkward air.

"Are you-"

"Your Majesty, I admire the way you hold so much strivance for your work but you really must rest if you wish to keep working for the rest of your life."

The atmosphere of the room had a drastic change, Jay could feel it, as you quickly curtsied, said a quick "excuse me" and hurried off towards the exit.

That wasn't a stain or a birth mark on your shoulder Jay knew it, as he leant back comfortably, and decided to follow your advice for a while.

He'd seen dark marks like that on someone he once knew and loved.

And something in him asked him not to rest (unless it was pretending for you) until he figured out where that bruise the size of a man's hand, came from.

Part 2 coming soon....

Tags: @amazzwon @heeseungshim @kvmariii @mwahvvis @hottiewifeyyyy @sacrificeatmeup @perfectnighttt @yawnzzhoon @yunabi436

207 notes · View notes

jesterwriting · 6 months

Note

Hello!! So excited to be mutuals!! I’m ngl I’m about to blog crawl your posts so if you see me in your fics 🌝 hehe no you don’t!!

I was hoping maybe you’d be interested in writing some Sanji comforting his partner after they’ve had a really bad day? 🥹💕 thank you so much for considering and I hope you have a lovely day!!

pairing: sanji x reader

contents: fluff, comfort, slight sensory distress, sanji gets flustered easily

word count: 1.1k words

note: HI OMG! so excited to be mutuals too <33 and to celebrate i hope you enjoy this little sanji morsel :3

playlist: sweet chamomile - ruth b

You’ve had bad days before, but this one took the cake.

First, you woke up late and your breakfast was cold. Not bad, could be worse, you could handle cold breakfast. Sure, your boyfriend would happily heat it up for you, but you didn’t want to bother him over something so trivial. You were an adult, you could handle a bit of congealed egg.

Then, you got rained on after you went into town to explore. It was sunny when you left, not a cloud in the sky, how were you supposed to know to bring an umbrella? In your hurry to get back to the ship, you tripped and fell right into a mud puddle, completely ruining your favorite outfit. All at once, everything was getting to be too much. No matter what you did, nothing seemed to go right. It was days like this that left you exhausted and crying into your pillow, desperate for some way to unleash the emotional maelstrom that had made its home inside of you.

Your mud encrusted shirt felt sticky against your skin and you fought the urge to shake. From rage or disgust, you weren’t sure, all you knew is you wanted to be clean. You hated the way the clumps of dirt weighed down your shirt against your shoulders, or the way the fabric clung to you uncomfortably. You loved this shirt, and now it was ruined. It would be hard to find a similar replacement, though you could always try to hand wash it yourself.

Yes. Right. You could always wash it. This wasn’t the end of the world. With a deep breath, you clenched your fists to ground yourself, and marched into your room to get a change of clothes. Once you were finally clean again, you hauled your dirty clothes into the laundry room. With a brush in one hand, your shirt in the other, you unleashed all of your rage at how the day had gone onto whatever flecks of dirt you could get your hands on.

“Take that!” You cackled, watching the soapy water turn brown. “Die by my hand you wretched stain.”

Too focused on your one-man war, you didn’t realize how much force you were putting into your motions until a loud ripping sound filled the small room, and you were left staring dumbly at what was now half of your shirt. Your favorite shirt. The one you’d had for years. Nothing in your wardrobe was both as comfy or as warm, and now, it was ruined. Forever.

You couldn’t help it. Fat tears plopped into the basin as your breathing hitched. You felt ridiculous crying over an article of clothing, but now that the waterworks began, you couldn’t stop them. Weeping, you threw the torn fabric into the basin and tried not to focus on how the water splashed onto your front, soaking yet another outfit. With your hands over your face, and your clothes stuck to your skin, you muffled your cries into your palms.

Hopefully no one would walk in on your little temper tantrum. That would make a horrible day only that much worse.

As if on cue, the door squeaked open and you were left frantically trying to wipe your cheeks dry. Before you could blink, Sanji was within your field of vision, concern drawing his curly eyebrows together. With your cheek cupped in his hand, his thumb drew gentle circles into your skin. The gesture was so comforting, you couldn’t help but lean into his touch.

“Sweetheart, you’re crying. What’s wrong?”

Remembering what you’d been upset about, you gave an embarrassed jerk and tried to rub the redness from your eyes. “I’m just being stupid. It’s nothing.” When Sanji didn’t seem convinced, you gave him a watery smile. “Really, don’t worry so much, you’ll get wrinkles.”

“I’ll always worry when it comes to you, my love.” Instead of helping you to your feet, he sat down next to you, one leg outstretched, the other drawn up so he could rest his elbow on his knee. With his free arm, Sanji wrapped you into a side hug, tugging you closer to him until your head rested on his shoulder. You hummed and stared at his blush. Even the smallest acts of affection could make your boyfriend flush bright red. It was cute. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can help.”

“It’s stupid,” You muttered.

“It obviously isn’t if you’re this upset,” Sanji countered, his fingers playing with the hem of your sleeve. You could tell he wanted a cigarette but would rather not smoke with you in such a small space. The second hand smoke would fill the room in seconds.

With a sigh, you gestured to the muddy basin, the remnants of your shirt sunk to the bottom. “Today has sucked.” Sanji hummed and nodded. You took that as your cue to continue, “I got rained on, fell in the mud, ripped my favorite shirt, and my breakfast was cold because I got up so late.”

“Why didn’t you come find me? I would have reheated your breakfast for you, sweetheart.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not going to go bother you over something so trivial. I’m an adult, I can eat my cold food. It was just that… coupled with everything else.”

“Come here.” Without another word, Sanji wrapped you in a warm embrace, his chin settled on the top of your head. You buried your face into his shirt and inhaled his scent: cigarettes and spices. Gently, Sanji began running his hands through your hair, playing with a loose strand every so often. In his arms, it felt like every weight that made its home on your shoulders disappeared. You slumped into him, your own hands home between Sanji’s shoulder blades.

“I feel better, thank you.”

“I knew a hug would help you, my love.” Even with his voice rumbling against your ear, he sounded smug. You glanced up, noticing that he was blushing so deep, the redness disappeared underneath the collar of his dress shirt. When you snuggled into him, his flush only got darker. Smug indeed. You smirked to yourself, the heaviness in your heart replaced with a light, fluttery feeling.

“Can we stay like this for a little while longer,” You asked

“As long as you need,” Sanji replied.

The two of you remained, tied tightly together on the wet floor of the laundry room, for hours. It wasn’t until Luffy found the two of you, wondering when dinner was going to be ready, did Sanji untangle himself from you.

By then, you felt like the day wasn’t as bad as you thought.

#one piece x reader #sanji x reader #sanji x you #sanji x yn #one piece imagines #one piece scenarios #.jesterwrites #I HOPE YOU ENJOYED WHAT YOU READ WHEN U CRAWLED THRU MY BLOG :3

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jaylver · 1 year

Text

jay as your bee eff <3

PAIRINGS: boyfie!jongseong x gn!reader

GENRE: established relationship, romance, fluff

WARNINGS: none, except this might be a little messy

WC: 575

A/N: in celebration of jay being back, here's something hehe, it's also really random and sudden but being a jay girl, i needed to write these down and delulu a little (come join me) share some of your thoughts with me through asks if you wants! (it's the best option bc i can't reply to comments help)

– most likely met through someone. friends or family, maybe even family friends. very invisible strings coded ngl.

– IMO he's very gold rush coded too! everybody wants him and that made you second guess, so that's why you never really chased after him

– but knowing jay, he's the type to never back down, he wants you, he is gonna get you. period.

– he's a passionate lover, he's the one to fall harder and deeper

– he would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to get you

– sacrificing his own to make time for you, bringing you out, listening to you, planning dates together

– cinema dates, dinner dates, he'll always find a way to spend time with you

– he would ALWAYS remember the smallest details about you

– "oh i remembered you said you like xx" and he turns up with that next

– you liked the cake he bought? it's going to be in his hands the next time you meet

– very lowkey about being rich, it's basically like the 'crazy rich asians' scene where she founds out he's rich 😭

– is the type to shower you with gifts even though you already said it's no need, but it's his way to showing you love by gift giving

– mutual pining, lots of mutual pining before being official

– he probably confessed to you in a really romantic poetic way let's be fr

– he's very affectionate, he loves with his HEART

– lowkey pda, doesn't like kissing in public but he does like skinships, he does like small kisses on cheeks, forehead pecks!

– holding hands, hands around your waist/shoulder, reassuring squeezes

– your family LOVES HIM!!! he might seem shy at first but he KNOWS how to charm your relatives

– your mum loves him, he's always over and helping her out, being the gentleman as ever!!

– family dinners with relatives, he would check up on you from time to time, squeezing your thigh in reassurance, telling you jokes and making you laugh

– from a 3rd pov y'all just seem like you're in your own world #cute

– REALLY GOOD AT COMMUNICATION!

– as someone who gets really quiet when mad, i feel like he'll definitely know, giving you space to calm down and then approaching you, making you feel better

– good with words, he knows what to say to make you feel better/less anxious

– for my swifties out there, he's very "all of the girls you loved before" coded to me ☹️☹️

– he gets possessive sometimes, but nothing serious, also can be a jealous boy at times

– he needs words of affirmation! he can get a little worried/insecure sometimes, so it's important to give assurance!

– he's talkative, you'll give all ears and listen to his rants

– being talkative, it also means he CAN NEVER stop talking about you <3

– to his friends, family, he'll just be saying "oh y/n loves this" whenever he sees something that reminds him of you, he's a big sweetheart wbk

– secretly loves it when you come and bug him when he works

– enjoys cuddling in bed, running his hand over your back and playing with your hair.

– loves when you play with his hair, his hands, just the most simple things ever and he loves them all

– when the lights are off and you two are still awake, best believe you'll be talking until late into the night.

– at the end of the day, he'll give you the most healthy and stable relationship ever <3 he's the absolute best !!!

– super husband material, get ready for your family/friends to start asking "when are you guys getting married?"

– soon!!

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starryriize · 2 months

Text

jellyfish melody | leehan

— ✧ • ˳೫˚ part of my valentine event!

೫ pairing: uni bf! leehan and med-student gf! reader

೫ summary: in which your boyfriend arranges a dinner at the local zoo

೫ genre/word count: fluff, rlly cute ngl !! 555 words!

೫ author's note: hehe i giggled while writing this and honestly, cute idea...took me awhile to write abt it tho. i've never been to an aquarium restaurant so i'm not sure if the fish is next to you? either way, i hope you guys enjoy <3 ilysm 🫶🏼

7:30 pm -

"You must like them." Gesturing towards the sparkly fish that you'd been staring at, "That's the electric blue acara. It's known for its vibrant blue that glints in the sun." He explains calmly, eyes sparkling as he twirls his fork around the pasta aimlessly. As soon as your class ended, he texted you that he'd come pick you up and take you for dinner.

So, here you were, at your local zoo's aquarium, having dinner with your boyfriend. If there was one thing that you loved about your boyfriend, it was how precious he got when explaining anything related to fish. But what you maybe loved more was him, and how attentive he was to you.

"And that's the nemo one, I know you like that one." You smile, staring at the fish that he pointed at, and intently listening to every word he said. Letting out a quiet giggle, you add, "If I was a fish, which one would I be?" He turns back to you, eyes searching you in curiosity. God, you were just as weird as he was. He giggles before letting out a fit of laughter. "Which...hahaha...that's cute, love. You'd be the lopsided, klutzy one!!" You put your fork down, mid-chew, in fake anger. "LOPSIDED? Excuse me, sir." You roll your eyes, playfully pointing to the blue, oddball-looking fish, “Then you’re the…oh! the weird blue one!” He laughs, thinking about how cute you are, and how he's probably the luckiest man in the world to have you.

Without thinking, he blurts out, "I love you." You swallow your sip of water, putting it down as you reply, "I know, and I love you." A small smile graces your face, eyes sparkling under the dim restaurant lights. Reaching your arm across the table, you softly take his hand. He laces your fingers between his own, bringing your hand to his face to press a light kiss on your knuckles. "Tonight was really amazing, Hannie." When those words fall from your lips, you truly do mean it. It wasn't just the delicious food or the ambiance of the place; you loved how your boyfriend always knew what made you happy.

He grins, overjoyed that you liked the little thing he'd planned. Leehan knew that you would end up forgetting about Valentine's Day; most likely caught up in studying for medical school. So, he took it upon himself to treat you to a little something. "Ah, anything for my sunshine. Shall we, love?" He grins, getting up from his seat, and offering his arm for you to take. "Yes. We shall." You happily get up, taking his arm in yours, grinning up at him.

The sound of laughter could be heard from your table in the corner of the restaurant, as you both gathered your coats while discussing the various types of fish. You guys had talked about everything, from the emotionless eyes to acting like fish, making "bloop, bloop" noises at each other. A perfect date, or perhaps...a perfect date after Valentine's Day. It was times like these that you both loved the most. In every universe, you knew that you would somehow find each other and that Leehan would always be your favorite oddball. And little do you know, he knows that you're his favorite weirdo too.

#laur’s thoughts 🧚🏼‍♀️#laur’s valentine 💌#bnd imagines #boynextdoor imagines #bnd fluff #bnd x reader #bnd scenarios #boynextdoor x reader #leehan x reader #leehan fluff

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ivryne · 1 year

Text

. . . ⌗ the aftermath ! 🔬

genshin smau | scaramouche x fem!reader

THIS SMAU IS DISCONTINUED!! BUT THE REWRITE IS OUT IN MY MAIN MASTERLIST!!!!

synopsis — the aftermath ! After a drunken night that resulted in some late night endeavors, you woke up in an unfamiliar environment. Looking around you in search for any familiarity, you spot a familiar tuff of violet hair beside you, hidden beneath the heavy duvet. Realization blew you over as you finally connected the scattered dots. Did you really just sleep with Scaramouche, your no.1 nemesis and rival? Well I guess all we can do is wish you luck to deal with the aftermath.

pairings. scaramouche (kunikuzushi) x fem!reader

genre. romance, crack, slice of life, rivals to lovers, modern au, college/uni setting, age 20-21

warnings. misunderstandings, slow burn, mommy issues, fluff, 16+ nothing too steamy. timestamps don’t matter just ignore them

status. [ 22 / 12 / 22 ] — disc (ONGOING REWRITE)

NOTE. hellooo! I’ve seen genshin smaus all over tumblr and I’ve always wanted to make one and I finally got the plot todayyy aghhh. Ty for those of u who hav clicked this!! Hope you enjoy <33

(🍬) means there r gonna be written parts ^^

NOW PLAYING . . .

starring . . . mentally un(st)able | need help asap

AND ACTION !

act one — too late to back out

episode 01 : wat did u ruin again lol

episode 02: stupid girl

episode 03: why is this kinda hot??

episode 04: i’ll bring the snacks (🍬)

episode 05: brainstorm or braindead (🍬)

episode 06: kinda ship it ngl (🍬)

episode 07: meant to be ig

episode 08: t-truce

bonus episode: hu tao’s dilemma

act two — never settle for less

episode 09: you’re staring (🍬)

episode 010: boytoy

episode 011: the hot one?

episode xx : extra scaraname snippets

episode 012: oh how the turns have tabled (🍬)

episode 013: name’s adrien agreste era (🍬)

episode 014: a new face (🍬)

episode 015: it’s called overthinking

IMPORTANT NOTE !!

episode 016: one goal in mind

episode 017: what are u implying?

episode 018: ur not the one i like

episode 019: that was quite unlikely

episode 020: called it

episode 021: are you convincing us or urself?

episode 022: why r u like this

episode 023: i guess this is it

episode 024: i am living for this childe slander

episode 025: the things i’d do for u

act three — above average

episode … :

tba…

CUT ! show’s over 📽

NOTE. this smau is discontinued ! I will be posting a rewrite soon so stay tuned!

do not repost, share, or copy ! Reblogs and likes very much appreciated!! Ty for taking ur time to read this. I hope i rlly get through w this bc i’m so inconsistent hehe.

#genshin impact #genshin smau #scara x reader #kunikuzushi #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche #genshin headcanons #genshin x reader #kunikuzushi x reader #genshin imagines

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my-names-angel-but-im-not-one · 1 year

Text

Mc That's like Wednesday

First meet

Pairing: Obey me character x reader

Tw warning: none?

Part-1 Part-2

The Side Characters

Is that how all humans are!!😃?

Poor bub don't know that you're different.

Chuckles so loud that your ears bleed , when you pulled that stunt to Lucifer.

"Welcome human !! Welcome to the devildom!!"

"Thanks DEMON!"

*Sad puppy noises*

You feel bad now .....even if you don't have emotions.....

The first person you'd ever say sorry to.

Thinks you're Barbatos spawn bc of how graceful you are.

Tried to take you to the castle

Barb said no

Simp no:4

No.

Simply no.

He's not having another chaotic , dark ,and trouble seeking person.

Thinks you really match with The demon kings personality.

" Are you by any chance secret child of the demon king?"

" No but people do say I'm a spawn of the devil himself"

Great , you're sarcastic too!

Would not say anything thou because lord Diavolo seems interested in you.

You better keep good reputation human.

And praise his cooking too.

You like Solomon .

No literally.

He have magic . Magic means power. You're all about power.

He also like you.

He's never met another weird human before!

You both can do all the weirdness together.

Also he's easy on your eyes too . Cause he's all white and black too.

"I'm Solomon another human like-"

"You have lived more than a century you're hardly a human"

"Ouch that hurts"

"it was meant to"

He smirked so did you.

He's the first person to get a reaction from you .

You're besties!!

He's trying to make you laugh on a deez nuts joke.

Humans-1, Demons-0.

"I thought a human was coming " he genuinely thought of you as a demon.

"I thought angels were supposed to be white."

He's in crisis

That's racial discrimination mc ngl.

Starts praying to God .

But he's an angel so he cannot hate.

You're different.

You're brave

And he's a simp.

Simp no:5

Hello Simeon ? Pick me up I'm scared!

Thinks you're a demon too.

But you smiled at him (because of his chihuahua behaviour not that he'd know)

He brings you cookies.

You don't like cookies.

"I'd rather eat the brains of my victims"

"Huh"

"i-i prefer ch-chocolate cookies not vanilla"

"Oh i have those too!!"

He'll melt your heart (you don't have one)

Looking at him , reminds you of your pet scorpio (that died)

You swore to keep him safe.

[A/N]: Hehe i love little luke!

Thanks for reading!!

#obey me shall we date #obey me short fic #obey me gn!reader #obey me mc #obey me headcanons #obey me leviathan #shall we date lucifer #the great mammon #obey me satan #om! asmodeus #beel x reader #belphieobeyme #diavolo x reader #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me luke

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mochinon-yah · 10 days

Note

I just realized we all technically have the power to ask any questions on this site, and I never got to doing it. So....

[Points S.E.E.S evoker at you]

Who are the fictional characters you ship your mutuals to? Doesn't have to be necessarily their self-ship. I am deadass curious. Spill the tea, Imbibitor's lover—

We can lower that down, brynn- no need to get all aggressive now-

*cough* ANYWAY!

I'll list them down below, and if they're not accurate or you're actually gonna fight them rather than making out with the characters that i chose then yeah, that is probably my plan 😀 /silly

Oh and! I'll mostly be using genshin and hsr characters because yeah-

@beloved-brynn -> heizou and ratio. NGL, YOU + HEIZOU, OR YOU + RATIO, OR EVEN THE THREE OF YOU WOULD TOTALLY BE SO FUNNY AND CHAOTIC 😭☝️ they can counter your wild statements while also being the (somewhat) saner one but could also say smth wild as well. I could see you and one of em (possibly ratio) be like "oh yeah, the other day, i was eating my lunch while watching that gorey movie-" "what." "yeah, i was hungry at that time, so like why not yk-" (this is based on my real experience guys, guess which dialogue is me lmao)

@meimeimeirin -> hmmmm, koh zhongli maybe? Okay, let me tell you the reason why... it's simply because she NEEDS someone who can pamper her! I don't know where that conclusion came from, but yeah. Anyway, if we're talking about other characters, then i think welt, or even zayne from lnd could fit. Basically: "I need someone older, just a little bit colder." lmao (oh, mochi, did this conclusion came up because you know rin's the youngest in her family and now you ship her with men older (and more experienced) than her? whaatt... ofc not, haha-)

@leftdestiny-posts -> absolutely cannot see them with anyone other than dottore. Cute and kind but is secretly crazy "i want to watch the world burn" x The human version of the word 'crazy' "as you wish, my love" would be their dynamic, i suppose...? WAIT OH! I can actually see shiro with ayato or maybe sunday! I bet they would like such a cute, innocent-looking darling to control, but then they would get so surprised and maybe super interested into trying to control the darling despite how crazy the darling actually is- (shiro ily, if ur crazy then we can be crazy together 💐)

@navxry -> arlechinno, and maybe black swan. Yeah, that's it. No explanation needed.

@jessamine-rose -> hmmm, would it be weird if i say capitano? I don't know why or how did i get to that conclusion, but yeah. And maybe blade? IDK WHY I'M PARTNERING HER WITH CRAY CRAY MEN- SORRY JESS, I (subconsciously) THINK YOU CAN LIKE CALM THEM OR SMTH AJFIAWOF-

@stardust-for-your-soul -> funnily enough, i can see her with aventurine. They'll say sweet words that probably have a double meaning and also probably have a teeny tiny bit (maybe a lot lmao) of 'enemies to lovers' moment. (wow, cherry, your new bf is a gambler- /smack). But anyway, i could also see her be with march 7th who is so bubbly and sweet, and i'd think cherry would love to tease march hehe

@teabutmakeitazure -> ACTUALLY NGL DAN HENG????? He would listen to her ramblings and also help her write her fics. It just sounds so cute in my opinion lol. Other than dan heng (who is obviously the best choice), zuri would probably look into red flag charas, like... yeah, aventurine- but still tho, dan heng! But i get what zuri is thinking tho, red is such a sexy color- /smack

@harmonysanreads -> ngl alhaitham or kaeya would be cute if paired up with her! Idk where did kaeya come from, but when i thought about it, instantly "cute!". I think, harmony has this really 'weird' calming aura that could make those two charas just fell in love with how comfortamble she can make them feel. BUT LIKE IDK THO-

@fishanonishere -> Albedo...... i think? Fish, i know what you are- i mean like as in how chaotic and just how 'what in the world is this person thinking???' you are. With how calming and 'would jump into any interesting topic' he is, i think fish and him could be such a cute duo. Fish's ramblings and their drawings are some of the things that make him really interested in fish

#reli-answers : brynn <3 #LMAO I TRIED MY BEST GUYS #maybe some of this could be seen as platonic ships but think what you want!!!#i just partnered up mutuals with characters i think would fit their vibe or i think would be funny together lol #i hope you guys don't mind me shipping you like this ehehee #AND ALSO #BRYNN I SWEAR #you fit with alhaitham too #but i'm like “nah. this would be too long if i put haitham”#i would ramble more about every ships but i'm afraid it would get too chaotic and too long so i hope this counts as good answer!#and once again #i tried my best uheahkufbajk

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sincerelyyoursg · 1 year

Text

breakfast and future plans

a/n: ngl this is kind of cute ig idk i tried hehe

warnings: none? just fluff really

masterlist.

She was his sun. She always tried her best to help, to keep him going and to be there for him whenever he needed. Finnick was the moon. The one who kept her calm and safe, the one who showed the path when there was no light.

They were perfect together. The whole district knew it, smiling whenever the pair passed by them. The old fishing men looked at each other often, seeing the loving look in Finnick's eyes. They were always set on her.

Just like they were right now, as he watched her prepare breakfast. It was a strange sight to the small part of him. When he was chosen for the games three years ago, he could've only hope to go as peacefully as he could, with her on his mind.

She sang softly, her hips swinging in the morning light. The sweet smell of strawberries was in the air, and it was one of his favorite feelings.

"Do you want some coffee, love?" Her voice woke him up from his daydreaming, his plans for their future together already forming in his mind.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I'll make it." He got up, grabbing two cups from the shelves, his gratitude for the moment only growing more by every second.

He was so incredibly happy to be here. After the games he was stuck in Capitol, its people treating him like a product. At the time he couldn't wait to go back home, to see her again.

Now, as radio played the soft songs in their house, she turned to him, kissing him softly on the corner of his lips.

"What's that for?" he laughed, hugging her waist.

"For you." She answered simply, and at that very moment, he knew it was the time to start planning.

He was going to marry her, and they will get their happily ever after.

#gabi writes!#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x you #finnick odair #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair x oc #hunger games #thg #hunger games x reader #the hunger games x reader

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ilydottie · 2 months

Note

Okay so it took me a little time to stew on your ask game, but! I have arrived hehe :3 How about Childe and stuck in a room together?

Thank you for the delicious idea bestie. I had some pretty good fun writing this ngl hehe. I hope you like it <3

Pairing: Childe x Gn!Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, He/Him pronouns for Childe, No pronouns for Reader, Gender Neutral Reader, Excessive Swearing, Reader is a traveler but not the traveler, Self Hatred (Reader), Implied Friends to Lovers, 780 ish words.

writing ask game <3

“It’s stuck.” Childe stated.

“Stuck? What do you mean stuck?” You asked in a panic.

You knew it was a bad idea to venture into The Chasm with the Harbinger, but you thought the trouble would at least wait to start until after you were in The Chasm rather than before. Unfortunately, there was nothing either of you could do about your predicament. Not until the remainder of your team caught up with the both of you. You stood there with your hands on your hips, trying your best not to let your anger get the best of you, but you were infuriated.

“Fuck, Childe how does this even happen?” You ask him, still trying to contain all the emotions you were experiencing.

He looked around for a solution, inspecting the rocks that had happened to fall and trap the entry door in a lodged position. Sadly, none of the larger rocks would budge and the ones that did ultimately helped nothing.

“We’ll think of something.” He reassured you, still pushing through the many rocks blocking a way out.

“I sure hope so or else we’re fucked.” You reply.

Usually, you would’ve suggested he use his Foul Legacy but he had already used it one too many times leading down to The Chasm, and anymore could cause you guys to be in an even bigger pickle than you were already in. You yourself weren’t as strong in the moment, either. So, it truly was a sit and wait type of situation. Although, your panic was starting to really set in, especially with the treasure hoarders that were circling the area. You just hoped the other teammates were soon to to arrive or you both really were fucked.

“Is it budging at all?” You asked anxiously.

He stood up from his crouching position to give you a sympathetic expression. Childe shook his head as he spoke. “It’s the boulders that are really locking us in position. So, we’re stuck for now.”

“Fuck!” You yell. “I’m so fucking stupid!”

Childe’s expression fell into one of guilt and sadness. He hated seeing you like this, blaming yourself for something that couldn’t have possibly been predicted. He tried to think through everything that had happened up until the moment you both were trapped in the dingy shack. There had to be something. At the very least he could rest up until he could use his Foul Legacy to get the both of you out of here, but that still had its risks. Childe sat beside you and placed a soothing hand on your back, rubbing up and down in an effort to console you. You, who had begun to cry due to your frustrations.

“The rest of the team will be here soon, but till then let’s just relax and rest. We’ll be out of here before you know it.” He said quietly. A sad but hopeful smile was on his face, but as he looked at you he realized just how hopeless you truly felt.

He knew there wasn’t much he could do in that moment other than hold you close and comfort you, whether it be as your friend or something entirely different, he promised himself he’d be there to get you through this horrible emotion you were feeling. Childe knew you two would get out of this situation with ease one way or another, it was you that he was really worried about. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much he could do other than what he was already doing, and he wondered if even that would be enough.

“I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but I promise I’ll get us out of here. One way or another.” His words were oddly soothing in a way, enough so that you didn’t feel the need to ask how he planned on doing such a thing. Simply put you were able to lean on him, both emotionally and physically, until help did eventually arrive. Although, in the moment it felt hopeless and anything but possible, Childe had a way of calming and reassuring you that eventually there wasn’t even a doubt in your mind that you both were going to escape the situation safe and sound. And once you did, you were able to look at him with a thankful expression on your face. Before you and your comrades went into The Chasm you made sure you really rested those limbs of yours before pushing onward, but when you did inevitably venture into The Chasm with everyone, you found yourself looking at Childe in an entirely new and fascinating way. You’d never seen him look so beautiful before. Had he always looked like this?

#childe x reader #genshin x reader

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allisonlol · 2 years

Note

Hi how are you? First I wanna tell you that your writing is amazing and I really enjoy reading you work. Keep up with it💕

So... can request headcanons (or drabble, whatever you prefer) where the reader asks Nikolai gogol (they're dating) to cut her hair? I think his reaction would be funny cause he seems to care deeply about his hair...

Tysm and also, no pressure!💕💕

a/n: i'm doin pretty good, thank you sm :D this is such a cute req i added some others as well if that's alr <3 it's fitting since yesterday i literally chopped off all my hair lmao, i feel like nanno now hehe

warnings: implied fem reader, no specific hair type or length mentioned

(Nikolai, Dazai, Chuuya) When Their S/O Asks Them to Cut Her Hair

Nikolai

i can't decide if this is a good decision or a disastrous one

granted he does have pretty hair and seems to take good care of it himself but...

i just think that nikolai + a pair of scissors + your hair = a possible disaster

but you were willing to give it a try, apparently

when you told nikolai that you wanted him to cut your hair, his face lit up immediately

throws you into a chair and pulls all the stuff he needs out of his overcoat??

you're starting to have second thoughts that this MIGHT not be the best idea when he literally grabs a chunk of your hair and just...cuts it off

too late to stop now huh 0-0

mf also doesn't let you look in a mirror until the very end?? so ur anxiety was skyrocketing while he does who knows what to your hair

teases you at the end and won't flip the mirror around for you to see so you YANK it out of his hands

but?? you're shocked to see it actually looks?? really good??

bro even styled it for you like damn! nikolai why are you busy being a terrorist when you could be a hairstylist instead!

& depending on the length you wanted it he may have given you a little matching braid like his <3

Dazai

um so we all know how i feel about him

and i'm sorry but there's no way this is turning out the way you wanted it. like why would you even let this man bring scissors near your hair

you'd wanted to change your hair pretty drastically and figured hell, why not ask your bf so you can save money instead of going to a stylist

and sure it's a great idea on the surface, but this is dazai we're talking about

ofc he's all excited about it. won't shut up about how he's going to make you look "better than ever before" ??

dazai's like "i do my own hair so, as you can see, you can trust me" mf all i see is ur goofy ass uneven haircut but ok

another one who won't let you look into the mirror until he's finished

does it in like 10 minutes too?? and that's when you KNOW something's gonna be very wrong

spins your chair around to face the mirror and you're fr flabbergasted. like >:0

pls you jump up from the chair and are ready to start throwing punches ngl!!

let's just say you lost more money afterwards trying to get it fixed than if you'd went to the hairdresser in the first place

Chuuya

aah. my beloved <3

so. you either hate or you love chuuya's hairstyle and i'm one of the mfs that loves it (it is very gorgeous to me??)

n i already know y'all are gonna be like "how ru gonna say dazai's hair is bad but like chuuya's" it's an acquired taste alright

some may call it BAD taste but i think this man knows what he's doing when it comes to hairstyling. not as good as nikolai, but you can trust him whenever you wanna change things up

i feel like he's definitely nervous about it tho :') like he's just so worried he'll mess it up & you'll be mad lmao

hit him with the "so you can't do it? alr i'll ask someone else" and BAM he's shoving you down in a chair & asking what you want done with ur hair

works every time

is overly cautious. sits you right in front of a mirror and fr asks "is this ok" before cutting each section?? ur just like "yes sweetie, for the third time that's fine" :')

chuuya just wants you to be happy okay

the end result is no surprise since he basically walked you thru the whole thing but, i'll have you know it looked great <3

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @xelia25 @scul-pted @exorcisedstraydog @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @dreaming-of-ambedo @nervousyetconfidentway @beautiful-is-boring @irethepotato @serenareiss @thescrunkly @ashthemadwriter

#bsd x reader #bsd x you #bsd x y/n #bungo stray dogs #chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #chuuya x y/n #chuuya hcs #chuuya fluff #dazai x reader #dazai fluff #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #dazai hcs #nikolai bsd #nikolai x you #nikolai x reader #nikolai headcanons #bsd nikolai gogol

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writingmeraki · 1 year

Text

[ 11: 37 ]

a son heungmin drabble!

genre : fluff, pinch of angst.

pairing : son heungmin x gn!reader, strangers to ???.

warnings : mentions of heartbreak indirectly, slight cussing, stupid choices (pls don't stay out in pouring rain nor run through rain.)

author's note : here is a small little drabble i came up with today hehe ^^ ! sonny deserves sm love and I really liked writing this ngl :D anyways hope you like it as well 🤎!!!

word count : 1.6k

The rain was pouring hard on the earth as though mother nature itself seemed to be upset. It poured angrily and harshly. Mercilessly.

In a way even though it left no mercy for whoever decided to face it head-on, it wrapped a sort of serene comfort around many, sad souls would find comfort in knowing the sky is mourning with them, for them. Happy souls could find joy in the lines the raindrops left on windows, the little puddles that were always the best to jump in. It was as if the rain was meant for everyone and it truly was.

Humans and their little joys in life.

You smiled up at the sky as you stood there, waiting under a shelter because you had missed your bus due to staying at the library longer than usual to finish your final psychology essay.

You were glad you did grab an umbrella before you left the house that day but it still seemed as though the fury of the earth had not yet calmed and you knew your umbrella stood no chance in a war against the harsh droplets of rain.

Your eyes scanned your surrounding ahead of you and you raised an eyebrow when you saw something or rather someone sitting on a bench a bit further away.

Huh? How did I miss them? You thought as you wondered how you completely missed a human but then you realized it was probably your tired state.

You looked at your expensive and rather beautiful,black watch which your best friend, Heechan, had gotten for you as a present even though you insisted you didn't need such an expensive gift.

'11:37' it read and you looked up at the stranger again wondering why they'd be sitting outside in such a downfall at the late hours of the night.

As you took in their figure, you realized it was a man.

You began to notice his body language and it seemed...

It seemed like he was down.

You found irony as to how his sullen mood seemed to have matched the equally sullen weather.

You should follow the stranger danger rule, your mother had always taught you that. It was something you obeyed even till now, when you were a fully grown twenty three year old human being.

Yet you couldn't help but want to at least figure out why he'd been sitting in the pouring rain, with his narrowed eyes, you think it was probably from the droplets entering his eyes and him trying to keep them open.

And for once it seemed as though your gut agreed with your initial thoughts and you being sensible you decided to just go with it.

As you opened up your umbrella, you still mentally prepared to become soaked even though you prayed to the heavens to have a bit of empathy for you.

You began walking towards him slowly yet firmly, careful so as to not slip and have to have an embarrassing first impression on a complete stranger.

The water puddles splashed against your feet as you cringed at the way your long pants began feeling more and more wet making you now have second guesses as to whether it was really worth it to confront the stranger.

Son Heungmin had been sitting on the bench physically being present at the place, his clothes being drenched showing no emotions on his face as he stared at well...nothing.

Yet his mind seemed to have been doing all the hard work, contemplating, questioning, wandering as a million different thoughts flew around it yet the most prominent one stood.

Why?

A simple yet heavy question that laid on the tip of his tongue but it seemed it was as if his mouth protested against letting out any sort of sound so the question just laid on his tongue and mind feeling more and more weighty as time passed by.

Suddenly before he could even make out how there stood a figure infront of him his body seemed to have realised it firstly when it felt no more of the strident downpour on it.

It took him a second to focus on the pair of shoes in front of him and his gaze immediately moved upwards.

You stood there holding the umbrella barely being able to cover the both of you but you would rather it cover the strange man more due to just the purity of your heart even though your mind did rationalise it was pointless seeing he was already soaked but hey at least it was still something right?

Beautiful.

Was the first actual thought that had made sense to him since the entire day as he scanned your face. And it was true, you were indeed a beautiful person with delicate yet sharp features, lips that now barely had your favourite strawberry flavoured chapstick, eyes that seemed tired yet held a sort of concern which made Sonny's broken heart race as he realised it was towards him.

"Hey, uh not to sound rude or anything but are you actually planning your own death sir?!"

You said in a loud voice to make sure he had heard you through the sounds of splattering, your voice though loud was laced with concern as you were now fully able to see him.

Pretty.

Was your first thought when he looked up at you and you saw his facial features, even though his hair was wet, it seemed to be in a perfectly elegant style with a few strands poking out, and oh God.

His face. It was not like you had never seen anyone attractive in your life, you'd even go as far as saying you even dated a few attractive ones but he seemed to have literally looked like he came out of some sort of fairytale.

His eyes though, you thought were the prettiest. They seemed to have so many emotions swirling through them and under the dim street light you could make out a deep brown colour.His lips were a shade of rosy pink which made them look so ki-

You cleared your throat and once again prayed to your body to not let the warmth your heart was feeling rush to your cheeks.

Mentally cussing at your thoughts regarding a damn stranger, an attractive one, you asked once again

"Hey! I ask-"

"No." He replied to your previous question more firmly than he thought as though he was obligated to answer making you frown a bit at his snappy tone.

He registered your small frown and realised it sounded rude so he quickly cleared his throat and followed "Uh- i mean no, i am fine, t-thank you for asking."

He told softly as he looked away before he could feel his breathing increasing from staring at the small unknowingly pout which had formed on your face.

Fuck.

He didn't even know you but he still found you so...cute?

"You don't seem fine, and I'm not meaning to be protruding your...your space but just a suggestion, you should probably sit under the shelter if you're going to want to sulk more."

You put your free hand over your mouth quickly after registering what you had said in the end and immediately apologized

"SHI- I didn't mean-"

The man let out a chuckle at your kind yet blunt words and it seemed as though for a moment he forgot why he had been sitting there in the first place finding a sense of comfort from your kind eyes and warmly actions, as he replied

"Well since you so kindly asked, sure I'd love to sit there."

He finished with a small genuine smile knowing you were probably feeling awkward, hoping it'd convey the message he wanted to mentally.

And it seemed as though it did when you felt your own small smile forming as you saw how his eyes turned into tiny crescent moons as his cheeks slightly bunched up

"Sadly this umbrella isn't big enough for the both of us, how about a little sprinting?"

Hesitantly yet slowly you reached your hand out as to lift him up so you at least you'd both be able to stay under the small umbrella comfortably.

Raising an eyebrow at your hand, he thought oh what the heck as he placed his large hand in yours and it seemed as though it was meant to fit as cliche as it sounds as he tightened his hand because it felt more slippery from the rain.

Never in your life did you think you'd willingly hold hands with a stranger but here you were staring right into his softened gaze as you stared back for a few seconds before once again clearing your throat and moving to step beside him as you still held his hand by your side.

You turned your head towards him and said

"On the count of three, we make a run for it?"

He nodded registering your words and slowly a small grin once again formed on his face as he realised you two seemed like teenagers in a typical romcom film.

And you shared the same thought unknowingly as you began with a giddy grin

"one, two, THREE!"

You both made a run for it, trying to keep up with each other, tightly holding onto each other's hands and you couldn't help but laugh because it just felt like a typical scene from a cliche romcom.

Sonny didn't hold back his own laughter as he found yours to be contagious and sweet, he wanted to hear it over and over again.

You took a glance at him when you heard him laugh, feeling a bit better when it seemed as though his mood had changed and were quite proud of yourself, you'll admit.

And as you both reached the shelter, you put down your umbrella and stood to take a breath, you both looked at each other and you couldn't help but chuckle even more as you realised the umbrella seemed to be pointless when you touched your slightly wet forehead.

And in that moment, as he stood there with a complete stranger, Sonny seemed to have completely forgotten about his broken heart and he wished, oh he wished for you to be able to stay just a little longer.

Enough for it to heal back again so he can maybe one day be the reason for your beautiful laughter.

all written works as well as images and edits (unless credited) belong to pri. do not plagiarise, repost, re-edit or claim as yours. pics mostly found on pinterest.

#son heung min #football imagines #son heungmin x reader #sk football #son heungmin fanfic #football drabbles #son heungmin imagines #son heungmin fluff #son heungmin drabble #sonny #sonny x reader #sonny fluff #sonny drabble #son heungmin fanfiction #[ pri works ]

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vanillabourbon · 11 months

Text

the first of many. | intro | ongoing tlou series

story summary. joel arrives at Jackson twenty years after the outbreak with a young girl that cares for him just as much as he cares for her. little did he know, he would soon meet someone else that would urge his returning sense of humanity one step further.

introductory chapter warnings. weaponry. alludes to suicidal thoughts and behavior. mentions of blood and violence. wounds. kinda sad ngl but let’s call it canon. pls let me know if i missed anything.

story pairings. joel miller x reader, tommy miller x platonic!reader

words. 11k (i went a bit overboard, hehe, but editing is going slow so pls ignore any obvious mistakes. this is the first work i’ve taken seriously so please enjoy :))

Chicago, Illinois. September 2003.

The mind and the body’s initial response is always denial – denial of things, of circumstances, and of situations that are too radical, too unconventional, to believe.

How could anyone believe the events of things as they were? Social and societal constructs had been dismantled in a matter of hours, as if the very fabric of everyone’s being had been tied together by a mere string. The justice and sovereignty in belief, in trust in the nature of things themselves, was apparently so fickle, so haphazardly constructed in the first place, that it took a rapidly spreading infection to displace and make known just how unsafe anything is from harm.

No one should be shocked, really. Least of all you.

In hindsight, which is the only perspective anyone can rely on at a moment’s notice, everything gave way to regret and humiliation. How had no one seen this coming? Everything up until that point in time suddenly seemed so obvious – so commonsensical. It was as if someone had balled up every bad thing and every imperfect thing until it could no longer withstand its own constraints and, instead, chose to flow directly toward the seemingly permanent.

There’s always an element of impermanence in the seemingly permanent.

For whatever reason, now, only a day had passed since the events that led to an abrupt collapse in society as you knew it. You wanted to believe the best – that society and the nature of man would prevent anything from happening. You trusted that the condition of humanity would never outweigh the moral weight of integrity and righteousness. You told yourself that the militant responses of the government were out of necessity and that order and control would fall soon after – or, at least, eventually.

Whether you truly believed that or not no longer mattered.

You were being ushered through the city of Chicago by your older brother, trailing after your uncle, aunt, and two cousins in the wake of another riot. It was dark, darker than any time you had ever stepped foot through the streets of Chicago. And it was bare. Every skitter and harsh knock of a tin trash can sent your brother’s nerves into overdrive; his fingers dug into the flesh of your forearm, dragging you beside him with every step he took. His vice-like grip pained you, but you didn’t bother to tell him that.

You did exactly what he had instructed you before: keep quiet and avoid eye contact.

Military brigades sat empty in the torn and destroyed city streets. Fires engulfed and illuminated countless buildings – convenience stores, pharmacies, mini marts, miscellaneous retail stores. For a moment, you could’ve sworn you saw a young boy, no older than your small cousins, ducking behind a fire hydrant. Tiny fingers braced against the stained red paint, gripping the rusted bolts as if a life depended on it. Maybe it did. But the boy was gone when you chanced a look back.

“Eyes forward,” your brother mumbled.

You didn’t bother to argue. You were far too consumed with wandering, catching stray remnants of the world around you in your peripheral. Anything and everything surrounding you seemed too fantastical, like a stupor you were unable to shake yourself from. The tall, familiar skyscrapers were in stark contrast to the now empty storefronts and abandoned vehicles.

Even though it felt like the end of something, it seemed like the start of something else. Of what, you didn’t know.

Regardless, you wanted to make no effort to distract or distress your brother any further. You’d never seen him so laser-focused, so adamant about one thing, in your life. It was clear that safety was his top priority, and the thought sent your mind and your heart reeling.

Even if your brother hadn’t been dragging you toward Lawrence Avenue, you felt that your feet would have been bumbling about of their own accord. You were sure they weren’t moving because of anything you were doing. Your mind was elsewhere, eyes flitting to and from every glimpse of dark corners and shattered glass you dared to witness. Surprisingly, it wasn’t fear bubbling up and threatening to overtake your every sense; it was surprise, perhaps confusion.

Your gaze would’ve gotten lost down a dark side road as you were marched by it, but you were torn from your daze. A slight stumble, the slip of a toddler’s foot, caught everyone by surprise. One of your cousins rested in an awkward heap a few feet in front of you, ground having scraped her knee and stray debris nearly slicing her palm as she braced herself. Among stray tires and pieces of burnt wood, she looked so small, so petite. Her face twisted in pain and sadness as she turned about, first to you and your brother as you approached then to her parents only a few steps away.

Without missing a beat, your uncle ushered your aunt forward, pushing her lower back and guiding her to keep going. He did the same with his young son before going back and reaching down, scooping up his daughter from where she lay on the pavement with one hand and reassuring her with the other.

Momentarily, his eyes flitted toward you and your brother. It was the first time he had turned to look at either of you since you started your trek. For a moment, you wondered if he was about to say something.

But he didn’t. He only locked eyes for a second, maybe longer, before he was turning on his heels and picking up his pace to a light jog.

Only minutes had gone by before your family’s pounding footsteps were quieted by shouts and gunfire. A frighteningly sudden halt came when you all jolted to a stop. If things were still, you would’ve been gracious for the moment to rest your feet, for the chance to catch your breath and rock back on your heels to ease the pain from your soles. The act of running was starting to take its toll – stripping and coercing your composure and relief from their rightful place.

Calm felt so far removed. Even more so when the gunfire ceased and a loud, nearly automated voice came over a distant speaker: “ALL REMAINING CIVILIANS MUST REPORT TO ONE OF TWO EMERGENCY MEDICAL CAMPS.”

A tan army vehicle passed by your group just then. It rolled passed, and you all did a poor attempt at ducking into the shadows. Your brother’s grip tightened, if that were even possible, and dragged you to his side. Your breath caught in your throat until the back tire of the vehicle disappeared from sight, rolling down the road and toward the loud din still protruding from two streets over.

Whoever was among the shouting didn’t matter. It was clear that there were a lot of them, and that scared you. The streets had seemed so empty, so shallow. For a moment, you could pretend like your family was all that was left, that you all would make it to your aunt and uncle’s vehicle you’d left at airport parking. Maybe drive until you found a place safe enough to sleep. Wake to a world not burnt and bruised on every side.

It was a good dream. A pipe dream, perhaps, but a good one.

Your uncle was the first to move. He wrapped his arms around your aunt and cousins, driving them down a side street a few feet away. Your brother, a slight wild look in his eye, chanced a look around. For a split moment, he looked as if he was going to grab your wrist and keep running, chance a run-in with the military or with a group of people just as scared as the two of you. But he didn’t. He let out a low huff and dragged you toward the same side street.

Your aunt was huddled a few feet away, partially occluded by shadow and rocking one of your cousins in her arms. She was crouched, whispering, or pleading, something in a low voice. It was almost unnerving to watch her come undone.

Your gaze was torn from the sight when your uncle grunted. He was crouched right beside you, tying your other cousin’s shoes. Your cousin’s small hands were splayed across his back as she tried to balance herself.

“Danny boy, you’re with me,” he finally said. He looked over his shoulder and up at your brother. “We’ll run the rest of the way. It’s just a few blocks.”

You furrowed your brow, stepping forward quickly. Danny’s hand was still locked around your arm, but he made no move to stop you nor speak for himself. “Wait, what?”

Your uncle turned his attention back to the small white strings in his hands, his fingers fumbling awkwardly with the small shoelaces. “I know we said we’d get the car checked, but it should run just fine. We’ll come back for them in five minutes, tops.” His head was nodding before he even finished his sentence. “Yeah, yeah. Five minutes. Tops.”

“You can’t be serious.” Since he made no effort to acknowledge you, or to look at either of you again, you turned to your brother. “Is he serious?”

Danny was chewing on his bottom lip then, staring down at your uncle with eyes that did not seem in the least bit alarmed. “You sure about the car?”

“Positive.”

“It’ll run?”

“Should.”

At that point, your chest started to heave. Slightly, but heave all the same. A thickness suddenly but slowly started to coat your throat, like someone had lodged a softball right between your esophagus and windpipe.

Danny might’ve been calling your name, but, if he was, you couldn’t hear him. In seconds, he was dragging you backwards until you were pressed into the wall of the closest building. It was some worn-down bar. Your shoulders dug into the brick. “You have to stay here. Okay? With Aunt Lorraine and the twins.”

And that did it – that truly jolted you. “No,” you protested, hands coming up to grip your brother’s forearms. Now it was your turn to dig your fingers into his flesh. Anything to keep him there and grounded, right beside you, where he belonged. “You can’t just leave me.”

“I have to. We can get the car. Skirt downtown and be on our way to Indiana.”

“What about the military?”

“We can get away from them.”

“How?”

“We can.”

“It’s the military,” you deadpanned.

For a moment, you could almost make out a brief glint of humor in his eyes. The side of his mouth perked up, threatening a smirk that always drove you crazy whenever he found hilarity in situations not in the least bit hilarious. But right now, in this moment, it lifted whatever burden was trying to settle like a rock in your chest. Your brother was still your brother. And, to you, he’d never leave you.

“We just can, alright?” He reasoned. “We have to.”

“Well, what happens when we get to Indiana? What if we can’t find a place to stay?”

“You let me worry about that.”

“But, that’s the problem, Danny. You don’t worry about these things.”

You finally broke eye contact then. Pools of tears were beginning to form, blurring your vision and making everything around you swim.

“Well, that’s why I need you, isn’t it? Gives me an incentive to actually come back for you.”

You scoffed, a slight sniffle leaving you as you did. “As if you’d ever leave me behind.”

“Hey, we need to go, kid,” Your uncle said.

Afar off, he had long since stood and was waiting for your brother at the mouth of the street. When you turned toward him, he looked away, chancing a quick look both ways before exiting the shadows entirely. He loitered there, clearly waiting for Danny to join him.

Your brother had completely ignored him, not taking his eyes off of you for even a second. “Exactly. That’s why you have to trust me when I say I will come back.”

When you returned his gaze, his eyes were as earnest as you had ever seen them. He was telling you the truth and trying his hardest to make sure you believed him before he took off. You did, of course, but something was making every nerve in your body hot and every hair on your head stand. Something wasn’t right.

“I trust your word, Danny, but I have a bad feeling about this.”

“I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”

And something told you he didn’t mean himself and your uncle.

He urged himself forward, pressing a hard kiss to your forehead. He stayed there for a few seconds, crushing you to his chest, before abruptly letting go. He determinedly strode down the street, meeting your uncle on the sidewalk with a firm nod.

Before he disappeared, he turned once more to you and added, “I’ll see you again.”

–

Austin, Texas. September 2003.

If Joel could give voice to the crushing weight of a broken heart or the sudden unwillingness to yield to the innate response to keep going, he still wouldn't be able to properly identify it as true sorrow.

He still couldn’t quite pin it – anger, disbelief, pity … guilt. Everything had happened so fast, as they always do. But never to him. Calculations and planning, pure thought – the things he was used to and relied heavily on simply because they worked – were nothing compared to the devastation of unpredictability – of spontaneity, the unexpected. As cruel as fate could be, as cruel as life itself could be, there was very little possibility that it could bring about something like this – to take something so pure, so innocent, as a life. A child’s life.

A life for a life, he determined.

“Swear?” Sara had asked. Long ago now, it felt like. Something about a birthday cake, but the softness in her voice had sent Joel’s heart pumping with love and affection.

“On my life.”

A woman screamed somewhere to his left. His brow twitched, and, for the first time, he became semi-cognizant of his surroundings. A makeshift medical camp was teeming with victims, families, military and doctors alike, swarming and descending around him. White lab coats and camouflage armor were a hazy swirl as frenzied bodies wheeled grocery carts, gurneys, wheelchairs, beds – anything they could find – all through one Austin plaza.

For one second, one split second, Joel could vividly picture himself and Tommy driving by here on the way to pick up supplies not even two months earlier. He had been laughing, then. Shaking his head at something his brother had said to diffuse his anger for having been late the morning of.

Joel had been clutching a juice box then, too. A ‘good source of vitamin D.’ It felt small and strange in his hand at the time. Foreign. An odd replacement to the coffee usually growing cold in his tired grip. But he had promised her. Even when she threw a smile over her shoulder and clamored out of the truck to bound across her school’s parking lot, he didn’t let the box go until he’d drunk it all. Even when the memory was fading now, lost to a couple of weeks and now permanently overwritten by the last time he’d dropped her off, Joel could still feel the box.

Small. Strange. Like the last image of her now boring into the backs of his eyelids – curling and uncurling her failing grip in his t-shirt with every gasping breath.

Out of nowhere, a woman screamed again. Not loud enough to startle him from whatever depth he was losing his footing in, but still loud. Loud enough to draw the attention of nearby soldiers, who rapidly trained their weapons toward her. They didn’t shoot. They didn’t stand down either.

The woman was on her knees in the middle of all the chaos. A nurse unknowingly side-stepped a soldier and nearly tripped over the wailing woman. She didn’t notice of course. She just knelt there, rocking and shrieking. It took a moment for Joel to notice the small body she was clutching in her hands. A girl. Straight, dark hair thick and spiraling, down her mother’s lap and nearly sweeping the concrete. Her legs were dangling, bedazzled skechers limp and uncanny. There was a trail of blood leading from a misshapen wound – like indents left from teeth – on the girl’s left calf.

He looked away.

“Joel.” A voice came. Hardly recognizable. Seconds later, Tommy appeared in front of him, hands gripping his forearms and eyes pleadingly searching Joel’s countenance with growing anxiety. “Joel, c’mon now. Talk to me, brother. Say something.”

He did say something, though it didn’t quite reach Tommy’s ears. He was muttering, balancing himself on the perch of the old gurney beneath him and rocking himself slightly.

“On my life,” Joel muttered, continuously, trapped in an earlier memory. An earlier conversation. With the only one who mattered.

“Alright, well,” Tommy started, dropping one hand as he scanned the surrounding area. “We need to get you something to cover that hand.” He turned his attention back to Joel, leaning down and pushing forward to take up Joel’s entire field of vision. “I’ll be back, you hear me? Don’t move.”

He was gone almost as fast as he came. At his words, Joel’s eyes dropped to his hand, the one he’d been unconsciously cradling in his lap. Blood dripped, unceremoniously, down the valley of his palm and onto the cracked pavement under his boots. He vaguely remembered lashing out at some guy before being ushered into the camp. In front of some convenience store. He had landed roughly, shards of glass impaling his skin before Tommy got the chance to haul him up and press him to keep running.

There wasn't a single part of him that felt it, though. The gaping wound – the whole ordeal – seemed like a hallucination, like something plucked from the deepest, most submerged part of his consciousness. Something hardly thinkable. Something vicious and unnerving. Something that simply couldn’t be true.

“Dad … Daddy!”

Joel jolted awake. A stray frosting tip fell from his fingers and rolled across the floor until it hit the edge of Sarah’s heel. His vision swam with exhaustion, drowsy eyes sweeping over the kitchen table. A half frosted cake, a bit lopsided and slightly whiter than the yellow version advertised on the box. A frosting bag filled with purple frosting resting precariously on the edge of the table, inches from his hand now numb from laying on it.

In sudden alarm, he turned back to a curious Sarah. “Baby, I –.” When she met his gaze, he just sighed, dropping his shoulders. “What’re you doing up? It’s late.”

“I saw the light,” she said simply.

She bent down, retrieving the frosting tip before ambling over to his side. He watched her every move, weighing every option that popped into his head about what her expression meant. Child-like innocence. Brief reminders of every year he’d spent enjoying her life right before his eyes.

The small gears were shifting in her head; he could see them from here. She was eyeing the cake, if he could even call the mound of crumbled blocks a cake. Her gaze momentarily slid toward him as she neared him. She stopped at his side, a small hand on his thigh indicating her intent. He pushed his chair back, hands easily guiding her up and onto his lap.

“What’re you doing?” She finally asked.

“Figured I’d try my hand at baking. Construction’s getting slow these days. What’d you think?”

His voice was casual, but he was anything but. He had worried his lip in the aisle of the supermarket just at the thought of buying the wrong cake decorations. The moment of truth had come too soon for him. If he hadn’t been so damn tired, if Tommy had gotten the supplies earlier and hadn’t caused the job to go until ten –

“It’s pretty.”

Her voice startled him, laced with joy and, what seemed like, pleasant surprise. Her back was leaned against him, and he could just make out her face, angled slightly away from him. She was smiling softly at the poor imitation of whatever he’d bought. The only store left open had been out of cake mix, of course. A woman in the aisle with him explained how easily he could make something close to it with this. Easy for her was hell for Joel, but he couldn’t put a price on Sarah’s smile at that moment.

“Thank you. Tried real hard on it.” He was trying for humor, but he meant every word. His attempts were born from a real place – a place that desperately wanted to see her light up the way she did when he forced himself to sit through her favorite movie, when they decorated the Christmas tree early last year, and when he finally let her drive the truck on Tommy’s lap.

The two looked at the excuse for a cake. It was leaning now. A small portion protruding from where Joel attempted to make a flower out of a mold.

“Is it –,” she paused, cautiously, but hopefully, picking her next words. “Is it for me?”

“‘Course, babygirl. This masterpiece of a cake ain’t for just any eight-year-old.”

“I’m not eight yet,” she reminded him. “Except,” she paused again, frowning. “My birthday’s tomorrow.”

“You always wake up so early. Thought I’d try to surprise you by fixin’ it tonight.”

She stared a bit longer before nodding decisively and throwing an arm around his shoulders. She twisted in his lap, eyes and smile beaming up at him. “I would’ve slept in for you.”

Luck. It had to be luck. Joy, devotion, trust, unquestionable love. A child’s eyes swim with all of the above, and one child in particular, his child, was looking at him with all that and more. Her tightly-wound curls framed her small face and swept her tired eyes, but her expression remained the same. Joel’s heart twisted at the sight.

He cleared his throat, hesitant to speak with the growing lump in his throat. “You would’ve pretendin’ to, anyway.” He rose, maneuvering her until he was carrying her comfortably against his hip. “C’mon, now. It’s late. Gotta get to bed if you want your gifts.”

Abruptly, she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, daddy.”

He smiled, part of him worried his eyes were growing wet. “Anything for you, babygirl. Happy birthday.”

Joel was torn from his stupor at the sight in front of him – the sight he’d been staring at while reliving a memory he felt fading almost as fast as he began to remember it. It was a boy, barely old enough to be a teenager. His tear-stained cheeks were nothing compared to the way his eyes rapidly and wildly scanned the area. His gaze hit Joel’s for only a second before he was moving on.

“Dad!” he was shouting. “Dad!”

The boy was turning in circles, looking every which way and shouting into the sea of unknown faces. Every so often he was jostled by complete strangers – unnamed faces covered in weaponry, medication, or grief. One man bumped into him so hard he nearly lost his footing. It didn’t matter. It didn’t stop his shouts or his turns or his wild eyes cutting through the masses of people.

“Dad!”

“Dad … Dad!”

Joel turned suddenly, new reading glasses perched on the edge of his nose and hands gripping a cup of coffee – fresh seconds. His elbow was propped against the kitchen table he had been occupying for the last hour, mountains of papers and file folders splayed across the tabletop along with a black pen resting atop an unfinished tax document. With Sarah now in sight, his eyes briefly scanned the backyard through the patio-door window, where he’d last seen her playing soccer with Tommy.

His brother, of course, now leaned against their fence with a shit-eating grin on his face as the woman he was talking to from his neighbor’s yard threw her head back in laughter.

Of course.

Joel’s eyes turned back to Sarah, breathing in feigned annoyance. “What? Jesus, you keep calling my name like that you’re gonna dad me to death.”

She snorted. “If I wanted that, I’d do it more like this – Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Da–.”

“No, now that’s more like it.”

With a shake of her head, and a small smile, she wandered closer to him with a simple, “What’re you doin’?”

“Takin’ a break from you.”

She ignored him, stepping close enough to peer over the table. Normally, Joel would shoo her away with an obvious hint that she shouldn’t concern herself with whatever was his job. He didn’t like her looking or hearing about their situation in any way, good or bad. She was supposed to be thinking about soccer and school and zoos and the fair he and Tommy were taking her to later that week. Not any of this.

After a moment, he finally did; he abruptly moved forward, reaching and shuffling the papers into a messy stack.

“Nothing you have to worry about, honey, it’s –”

“Line eight E is repeated three times.”

He froze. “What?”

“Line eight, letter ‘E.’ It’s repeated three times.” For emphasis, she pointed down at the document closest to her.

Joel picked up the paper, letting the black pen slide off of it and land with a soft thud on the paper beneath it. She was right. There was no denying she was right. “Huh.”

“‘Sometimes it’s good to have a second pair of eyes,’” she quoted him, turning and strolling to the cabinet to retrieve a bag of chips. He’d told her that when he let her replace the axle nuts on her bike tire. She’d sworn the nuts wouldn’t rotate until he came over to help. The sentiment worked then, and it was working now. “You don’t have to do everything by yourself, Dad.”

He gave her a look, brows furrowing, but her back was turned. She busied herself pouring chips into a bowl. He tried for humor again, responding, “I’m never by myself. I got Tommy breathin’ down my neck every day. He’s all the help I need.”

The only indication of her response was a slight shake of her head, curly hair brushing, back and forth, between her shoulder blades. A quiet huff, something close to a laugh, escaped her.

“We’re also out of milk.” She threw a reply over her shoulder casually, very obviously avoiding turning around.

For a long moment, his eyes were still trained on her. It took a mental connection, a moment of realization, for his brows to lift slightly. His gaze slid over to a purple sticky note hanging diagonally on the refrigerator. Her frilly handwriting, turned cursive upon entering middle school, etched out ‘Get milk from the store!’ in large letters.

“That’s what the note on the fridge is for?”

She remained silent but finished making her snack, ambling back to his side and taking a seat in the chair beside him. There was no need for her to respond, but Joel’s nerves went into overdrive at any and all underlying insinuations. Was she worried about something? Worse yet, was she worried about him?

“Where’s all this coming from?” he continued.

She shrugged, not quite meeting his eyes. “You just work so much. More than usual. I just thought – Least I can do is help you some.”

“You really wanna help out around here, maybe you can finally get a job,” he tried, verbally poking fun. “Pick up a few hours.”

“Oh, ha ha.”

She briefly smiled at him, but the act ended as soon as it began. It was clear something was bothering her. Worry was etched between her brows, and it was then Joel realized that’s how she’d been looking at him all month. Eyes wide and deep with concern; brows furrowed with a tight smile that didn’t seem quite as natural anymore. His heart nearly broke, and he cleared his throat to hide his upset.

“Look, I’m sorry. I know I work a lot, and I’m not … around as much as I used to be. I’ll do better. I will. But there’s nothing you need to be worryin’ about.”

She only nodded before adding a soft, “I know.”

“Good. So you also know I love you, babygirl. Not much I wouldn’t do for ya.”

“I know.”

“That all?”

She rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “I love you too, dad.”

“That all?”

“Well, I wouldn’t wanna ‘dad you to death.’”

“Oh yeah,” he teased, leaning forward to swipe a few chips from her bowl. He flung one towards her, grinning when a laugh erupted that she couldn’t quite contain. Popping the rest of the chips in his mouth, he warned, “Stop playing with your food.”

The sound of laughter, even from a memory, felt jarring, too rich and too pure for the dark scene unfolding around him. He was long-since aware of his eyes growing wet, and, for once, he didn’t care. Couldn’t bring himself to fear or worry about it. He just stared – from the shrieking woman to the shouting boy to the wide, suddenly imposing, city landscape in the distance. It all felt void, lacking meaning in a meaningless world.

What was to be gained from this? What did any of them gain from anything?

Someone ran by, bumping into Joel’s gurney and swearing a harsh apology in the process. Or maybe just swearing. He couldn’t quite place it, and he didn’t try to. But the action was enough to remind him of his being; his body felt weightless as he drifted from distant memories to distant memories, deliberately failing to grasp one long enough to replace the bitter nightmare threatening to replay itself, over and over again. Maybe if he’d twisted the other way. Or took a chance on running. Or held her a little tighter. Or –

The gurney suddenly felt rough where his hands were gripping the edge, knuckles white and blistering. Now he could sense pain from his open wound. And maybe that was the point. To sense, to feel, something other than what was threatening to send him spiraling. The recent events were still forming pictures in his mind. Consolidation taking its time as depictions kept reordering and restructuring themselves. Building and tearing down again. It was like his brain refused to settle on any one experience.

Because they were all wrong. It was all wrong. It shouldn’t have happened. Not like this.

Emotions had yet to hit him like a brick wall, and, quite frankly, he didn’t want them to. Not now. Not ever. Sensations were returning, sporadically. There was only one he settled on. He vaguely remembered Tommy slipping a handgun into the waistband of his jeans earlier, telling him he might need it before hoisting him to his feet and pushing him to run. To run like his life had depended on it. Even if he was forced to leave his entire life – a child – lying on the cold ground behind him.

That was the sensation he focused on: the hard lick of metal curling its cool touch against his lower back.

Chicago, Illinois. September 2003.

Waiting is just as agonizing as not. You still couldn’t quite decide if you wanted time to go faster or to go slower. You were, however, determined to maintain as much control over the situation as possible. If Danny could manage a calm head, so could you, for his sake and in his absence. You made sure your aunt was comfortable, reassuring her with a few pats on the shoulder after she’d sunken to the ground. Your cousins kept near her, staring up at you with pure curiosity.

You wondered if they understood, or just how much they understood. For their sake, you hoped they hadn’t a clue. If their silence was any indication, you were sure they were fine, probably more so worried about their mother’s – your aunt’s – tear-stained cheeks than anything else.

You tried your best not to glance at the street entrance every minute, but your head was on a swivel. Time itself seemed to stand still. How could you not wish you could do the same? Stand still, as if holding your breath might make it easier to hear your brother’s footsteps come back to you. His footsteps – loud, heavy, familiar.

That’s what you were thinking about when your uncle stumbled through the mouth of the side street he’d left you in. A purple bruise was forming on the lower left side of his jaw. A streak of blood ran across the chest of his gray shirt. Most disturbing of all, he was completely and utterly alone.

“We’ve got to go,” he said.

He hurried right by you, taking long strides towards his family. After checking his wife and daughter, he crouched and busied himself zipping his son’s jacket.

“Where’s Danny?” You asked.

The question hung in the air – thick and unanswered. He ignored you. Easily. His eyes remained pinned to his son’s body as his fingers fumbled, first with the jacket and then with the cuff of his son’s jeans.

“Where is he?” You were still calm, then. With no answer, you pulled back and stepped cautiously toward the end of the street, looking down where he’d come from. When no one else came by, you returned to your place a few feet away from your family. “Where’s Danny?”

All action and thought cease to exist when laughter brings forth pure, adulterated delight. Especially for a six-year-old child. Laughter and millions of innocent giggles bubble over and make it easy for small feet to run freely. Untamed footsteps can easily fall in line with grass and get lost to rows and rows of trees.

Lost. So, so lost.

You stood in the middle of a clearing. At some point, your laugh had burned down to a chuckle, then to silence, when you realized how far you’d made it alone. Your brother had teased you, playfully giving chase about a mile back, and you had wonderfully ran and leapt over branches and small creeks. Even climbed over a small boulder. You only came to a stop when your echoes seemed too quiet for two.

“Danny?” You called to no one in particular. “Where are you?”

It only took a moment for the beautiful chirps and snaps of branches to seem daunting, not tranquil. Terrifying, not serene. The stillness of it all threatened to suffocate you and evoke fear where you didn’t think it previously possible. You wanted to back away, but your foot had already nearly slipped on a slick mud spot.

Your eyes bounced, wildly, from one tree trunk to another. An unfamiliar feeling coiled up your back and settled at the base of your neck. The sun was starting to slink toward the horizon then. Which way had you come from? What would happen if you didn’t make it back home? What if Danny had gotten hurt, and you hadn’t both to hear him or stop for him? Had you left him somewhere?

“Danny!”

There was no answer. Only the distant sound of water trickling over rocks and another quick snap of a tree branch waving in the wind. Hot tears trickled down your face as you dropped down, sitting and pulling your knees under your chin. You were lost, but, above all, you had lost your brother.

“Hey, little sis, look what I found!” You nearly jumped out of your skin, twisting around to see Danny stepping around a bush and joining you in the clearing. He looked up to proudly present you with a small frog, cupped carefully in the palms of his hands. “Wanna name him?”

For a moment, you stayed right where you were. A soft cry escaped your lips, but there was an early sense of relief flooding every part of your small frame. You still hadn’t relaxed your furrowed brows or the frown that wound tightly on your face. Fear had gripped you, and you were beginning to realize it was the hardest thing to shake.

It only took Danny a second to realize you were crying, and only a second longer to bound over to your side and drop to his knees. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He set the frog down on a dry patch of grass before fixing an intense stare on you. “Did you fall? Are you hurt?”

You shook your head, sucking in a breath and releasing a broken sob. “I – I thought you were gone.”

Danny’s shoulders dropped a bit. “I’m sorry for scaring you.” He reached out and set a hand on your shoulder. “I would never leave you, okay?”

You nodded, and he dropped his hand. He let you take a few breaths and calm down a bit before he stood to his feet.

“I think we should go back now. It’s getting dark.” He stuck out his hand, pulling you to your feet when you slipped your hand into his. “Do you remember our secret handshake?”

“Yes.”

An easy grin graced his features once more. “Good, you can show me when we make it back home.”

He moved to leave, but you pulled him back. Your hand fell from his and pointed down at the frog. “What about the frog?”

“What about him?”

“He doesn’t have a name.” He stood back and looked at you expectantly. “I think we should call him Rex.”

Danny nodded, pretending to be lost in thought for a moment. He tapped his chin with the tip of his finger before smiling down at you. “I like Rex. It’s cool.”

Your smile returned, and you skipped out of the clearing, grabbing Danny’s hand as you went. That’s how it was, and that’s how it should be, when an older brother is so near – when another’s presence soothes the quiet that only loneliness can bring about. Your tears had dried and a glimmer of tranquility returned to the noises in the air and the stillness of the environment. A feeling of safety returned soon after, too, and the discomfort of fear had fallen without your notice.

His word was enough: I would never leave you.

You half expected him to scare you like he had when you were children. To step around the wall and stumble towards you, completely oblivious to your worries and concerns about his whereabouts. You would berate him, maybe smack his arm or chest for sending your nerves into overdrive, but you would most likely pull him into a hug and look him over for any bruises. You kept glancing in the direction of the street, waiting for an arrival that would never come.

“Where’s Danny?”

“Honey,” your aunt tried, giving your uncle a sincere look that read: Please answer your niece.

He ignored her too, setting his hands firmly on his son’s shoulders and giving him a nod. He looked at his son intently, probably trying to reassure him with just one look. With the state the world was currently in, words were starting to fail. All anyone could do was offer some sense of familiarity in gestures and in looks.

But that wasn’t enough for you. It never would be.

In desperation, you moved to grab at your uncle’s shirt. “Where is he? Where’s D–.”

Your uncle stood abruptly, whipping around to face you. You were nearly chest to chest as he leered down at you. “He’s not coming back.”

Your response was immediate, taking a step back as if someone had punched you squarely in the chest. “Wha– What?”

A long, silent moment went by. You could just make out the screaming crowd now nothing but a soft, inaudible sound to your ears. Your uncle dropped his gaze. He looked almost guilty for not being able to offer you the reprieve you were obviously searching for – the answer he just couldn’t give you.

“He’s not coming back, kid,” he said, softer this time. “I– I’m sorry.”

He turned, picking up his son and grabbing his wife’s arm to hoist her up with him. Your aunt held her daughter close to her chest, unable to meet your eyes. There was another moment of silence between you all. They stood there, uncertain. Your uncle refused to meet your eyes for longer than a second, flitting his gaze from you to the street behind you. It was the sound of another military vehicle that finally made him straighten his posture and look you in the eye.

“You need to get out of here. It’s not safe out in the open.”

He turned to jog further down the street, in the opposite direction of where you’d all entered originally. That’s when your aunt offered you a sincere look. “Come with us.”

You made no effort to move. Your feet were cemented to the soiled street; Your eyes still glued to your uncle’s distressed countenance. His words were the only thing you heard: He’s not coming back.

“C’mon, Lorraine. We need to go.”

“We can’t just leave her here, David.”

The military truck came louder now just as the backdoor to the bar slammed open. A man stumbled through the door and landed in a heap of tangled limbs on the ground. A low growl escaped him as his hands fisted the concrete, and he doubled over, twice, in obvious pain. His brown hair was awry, fingers caked in something you couldn’t quite place. The back of his shirt was ripped in various places, and his veiny flesh was exposed; skin long since too inhumane to not deserve the look you gave him. Your eyes blown wide and jaw slack.

The man’s head snapped up, wild eyes looking directly at your aunt.

“C’mon, Lorraine!” Your uncle shouted louder, backing away and pulling his son tighter to his chest. “We gotta go now!”

Your aunt stayed there, frozen in fear. You took a step back, foot catching in a small puddle and sending the man’s horrid attention barreling toward you. The break in harsh scrutiny was all your aunt needed. She took that moment to hug her daughter close and sprint after your uncle. Their retreating footsteps hit like lead to your chest, every step sending you reeling backward as your chest heaved with something closer to alarm than fear.

The man shrieked, scrambling to his feet and running toward you. For a moment, your eyes slid to your aunt and uncle’s distant figures just over his shoulder. A part of you half-expected them to chance a look back, to answer their curiosity about you and your wellbeing. But they didn’t. They didn’t spare a single look, even when they turned sharply and disappeared around a corner.

A deep pain began to throb, harsher now, from the spot Danny had been gripping your arm. The man was within arms length now, hand reaching out to grab that same arm – the arm Danny had held protectively in place.

Your body reacted quicker than you did. You weren’t sure you would’ve reacted at all, if not for the slightest inkling, the slightest hope, that Danny was still out there, somewhere close. Who would come for him if you didn’t?

With a surprised yelp, you turned on your heels and sprinted toward the street entrance – toward the street Danny disappeared down not even thirty minutes before. Gnashing teeth and a horrible stench followed you closely, squirming and throwing itself at you like an animal. You had made it only a few feet in the street before the man tackled you to the ground. Pain erupted from your knees and elbows as you fell with a sharp cry.

A hand pulled your hair, clothes, arms, just about everything fingers could find purchase. You twisted sharply, coming face to face with the man. His teeth came dangerously close to your face and, on instinct, you brought your forearm up to his neck, pushing him away with as much strength as you could muster. You gritted your teeth, but a scream soon ripped from your throat as his upper body pushed further and further down on you. Closer and closer until –

A shot rang out, and the man’s body went limp.

–

Austin, Texas. September 2003.

The finality of acceptance had still escaped Joel. Maybe that’s why it was so easy for him to take anything in that moment as truth, no matter how outlandish it might have been.

Two white coats rushed by, stopping mere feet away. Even among the chaos, their conversation was easy enough to overhear.

“I have a dad asking after his kid.”

“Everyone’s asking after someone.”

“Yeah, but she was here when they arrived. Apparently lost her in all the confusion.”

“Take him to triage. A lot of missing kids there. We just revived one.”

Joel looked up at the new truth being presented to him – a truth that was far easier to accept than the one bombarding his current experience. His feet were carrying him away from his spot of refuge before he could even think. In fact, he wasn’t thinking. He was scanning for her. Curly hair. Eyes looking for him as much as his eyes were looking for her.

We just revived one.

If there was a possibility she was here, he was willing to take it. He had already accepted that possibility as fact without his own notice. His heart was elated and his chest was rising just at the thought. It was easier, fairer. And in no way was he preparing, or thinking to prepare, for the inevitable crash that always took place when attempting to deny reality.

“By nine, Dad.” Sarah hopped out of the truck, slamming the door behind her. She went to Tommy’s side, hand clamping down on the opened window and eyes boring into her Dad from where he sat in the passenger seat. “You said nine.”

“I know, I know.”

She opened her mouth to add something, but the bell cut her off. She huffed in resignation before pointing at the two of them, each in turn. With a growing smile, she waved and ran towards her school, throwing a quick “Don’t forget the cake!” over her shoulder.

Just as Tommy pulled out of the lot, his eyes slid over to his brother, and his face twisted into a wide grin he couldn’t hide even if he tried. “Jesus, that kid loves you to death.”

At that, Joel couldn’t hide his own smile, even if the weight of Tommy’s words felt heavy on his shoulders. “Yeah, I know.”

A content quiet fell between the two as Tommy maneuvered out of the school lot. Once he was back on the road, his eyes drifted toward his brother a few times before he shook his head. He always did that when something was on his mind but didn’t know quite how to approach it. Especially when it was Joel he was trying to approach.

“I tell you what, Joel. You gotta cut back.”

Joel was no stranger to the topic Tommy was attempting to bring up. He knew he was working like a madman again, picking up projects and stumbling into the house late at night often long after Sarah had put herself to bed.

Still. He acted oblivious. “What do you mean?”

“Sarah, man. You gotta cut back. Spend more time with her. I know you mean well. You want to provide for her, protect her. I respect that, Joel. Hell, everybody sees and respects that. But she’s still young. Still needs you. It won’t be like that always. She’s got a bright future ahead of her. Nothing’s going to take that from her. From you. Nothing’s going to change that. You don’t have to work so damn hard just to keep it that way.”

Joel didn’t say anything, but he offered his brother a brief nod when he glanced in his direction. They both knew he was right.

“Besides,” Tommy continued with a teasing grin, “you need to get a hold on her before she gets too much older. If she’s anything like we were, they’ll be hell to pay.”

Joel grunted. “Nu uh, my Sarah’s too smart. I ain’t worried ‘bout nothing.”

“You say that now.”

“And I’ll say it then.” Joel nodded decisively. “It’s like you said, she’s got a bright future ahead of her.”

“I know, brother, I know. All I’m saying is that you should make the most of it now. These years will be gone before you know it.” Tommy turned to look at him, more intensely this time. “She’ll be gone before you know it.”

The children were many, but the number that resembled her were few. The child they had revived was a boy no older than four and had been revived for reasons unbeknownst to Joel. The inevitable crash of secret humiliation and embarrassment at his own deception led him to a corner, away from the frenzy and uproar in the camp. Two soldiers stood, with their backs toward him and weapons drawn, with their heads on a swivel. But they paid no attention to Joel. Even with the cool metal resting in his hands, safety off and finger poised at the ready. They still paid him no mind. He might as well have been a dead man.

Should’ve been, anyway.

On my life. Not yours, babygirl.

With that thought, he was ready for anything that might come after. Truth be told, he was more than ready. He wanted to pull the trigger, so he did.

But he flinched. Even before the bullet had left its chamber, a part of him was wholly certain that any shot or amount of lead was not meant for him. It was a destiny he was never meant to share, no matter how much he wanted to.

–

Chicago, Illinois. September 2003.

Four pairs of hands were on you and hauling you to your feet before you could reassess your situation any further. The body slid off of you as you were pulled to your feet; its weight made a sickening noise as it thumped to the pavement at your feet. You were being dragged to an armored truck filled with people �� men, women, children. Greedily, you scanned the faces for the only one that mattered. Maybe they’d got him. Maybe they’d saved him, too.

There were a lot of people, but none resembled Danny.

Finally, something broke – anger, bitterness, nauseous … mostly anger. You dug your heels into the pavement, nearly sending one soldier tripping over his feet at your sudden protest. You took the moment of surprise as an opportunity to rip your arm free from his grasp, shoving him away and clawing at the hand still clamped firmly around your other arm. You tried desperately to free yourself, scratching and pulling like your life depended on it. Like Danny’s life depended on it.

“No!” You shouted. “No! Get off me!”

Your doorknob rattled before your brother let himself in, closing the door softly behind him as if he hadn’t already made a world of noise just by entering.

“Jesus,” you started, sitting up in bed, “don’t you know the first thing about knocking?”

“I’ll knock when you stop stealing my sweatshirts from my room.”

Childishly, you stuck out your tongue and crossed your arms. “Fair.”

Without missing a beat, he took three long strides toward your window and looked out, smiling down at something. Undoubtedly his friend’s car, waiting for him in the driveway. “I’m heading out.”

“When are you not?”

“Just open the window for me when I get back, alright?” You got up to join him by the window as he opened it. “I won’t be too late this time.”

“I’m starting to think you like asking for trouble.”

He turned to smile at you – soft, mischievous, winning. Your brother could just as easily ask to leave the house, but he preferred sneaking out. He was defiant just to be defiant, doing so in a way that still made him agreeable and likable. Roping you into his mischief was like a sibling rite of passage, as he put it.

Despite yourself, you smiled back before watching him clamor out of your window. He crouched on the roof, turning to flash you one last smile. “Don’t forget my knock.”

“Three knocks.”

“Always three so you know it's me.” He winked.

“You say that like anyone else would be knocking on my window at one in the morning.”

“You’re right. Because you’re lame.”

“Go before I push you off the roof.”

He grinned widely before turning and inching his way toward the edge. He immediately stopped when you called his name.

“Danny,” you said softly. He looked over his shoulder. “If anything ever happens, don’t be afraid to call the house. I’ll come get you myself if I have to.”

“What could possibly go wrong?”

“I’m serious, Danny.”

“Relax. I know my fearsome sister will always come to my rescue.” He gave a mock salute before jumping down to the lawn. He ran toward the idle car before turning back toward you, cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting, “Three knocks!”

When the soldier had recomposed himself, he walked back toward you and yanked your arm, much harder this time. Your outburst drew the attention of the others on the vehicle. A mom pulled her child closer to her, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was still out there, missing, and not a single person seemed to give a damn.

“Get off me!” You screamed again, voice breaking as a tear slipped down your cheek. In frustration, you sent a swift kick that the soldier sidestepped easily. “Get off me!”

One soldier finally let you go as the other wrapped his arms around you, pulling you off your feet and carrying you the rest of the way to the awaiting vehicle. Your struggle was rendered useless as he carried you with ease, tossing you onto the truck like you meant nothing. You probably didn’t, not to him and not to anyone. But you knew you meant something to Danny, and you weren’t going to go down without him. Not without a fight.

You pushed off the bed of the truck, attempting to scramble off of it and back onto the street. “Danny!” You shouted, pushing a stranger out of your way and making a quick jump for it. “Danny!”

You were sure you were still calling his name, even when the butt of a gun connected with the side of your forehead.

–

Austin, Texas. September 2003.

The sound of a weapon firing draws a lot of attention. Namely from uniformed soldiers who were to make sure all civilians had been thoroughly searched and weapons properly confiscated before entering the medical camp. The mistake was sure to cause one of them trouble, which is probably why they tackled Joel with such ferocity. He was on the ground and surrounded by military and medical personnel before he could blink.

Tommy was shouting his name again, parting the crowd roughly as he clawed his way to his brother. White bandages gripped in his hand. He was searching for him, relentlessly, before catching sight of the commotion. All the while, Joel was calm. The realization hadn’t dawned on him yet; the adrenaline of the deed he was trying to commit had not yet worn off. He was delusional with the loss of will – his volition having been stripped from him through no effort of his or anyone else’s.

For a second, he let himself believe he was dead. Like some instinctual force hadn’t just caused him to flinch.

Someone hoisted him to his feet; all while someone, most likely Tommy, was shouting, “Don’t shoot him! Don’t shoot him!”

A doctor stepped forward. She flashed a light in his eyes. “Sir. Sir? Can you hear me?”

A trickle of blood slid past his peripheral. It dawned on him that the commotion around him was real – it was happening – and his unfocused eyes finally snapped toward the soldier gripping his arm. His unfeeling expression hidden under his helmet felt familiar. Too familiar.

“Joel,” Tommy warned. He knew his brother well enough to predict his intent. He stepped forward, cautiously, trying but failing to shoo the soldiers and doctors back. He momentarily looked between the wound on Joel’s head and the discarded gun on the ground. He hesitated, partially, but hesitated all the same. “He ain’t sick or nothing.” Tommy turned from the doctors back to Joel. “Joel, listen to me, brother. Let’s get you patched up, alright? Let’s ge–.”

Joel was swinging before he knew what he was doing. He lunged, kicked, and swung wildly, nearly ripping himself from the awkward grip now three soldiers had him in. They were strong; non compliant. They wrestled with him for a moment before another doctor ushered him away.

“Here,” the doctor was saying, “bring him over here.”

“Careful, I said he ain’t sick,” Tommy butt in, grimacing at the hold they had on his brother. “Joel, calm down. Everything’ll be okay, Joel. Just — Just calm down.”

The soldiers were dragging him to a nearby gurney. A few medical personnel were preparing a syringe somewhere off to his right. He sure as hell wasn’t going down without a fight, and every single thing he was doing was an indication of that. Somewhere, deep down, he could hear his brother. Calling for him to stop. Calling for him to settle down before they did something to him. But he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Maybe they should do something to him. Put him out of his misery. Or subject him to the same fate they subjected her to. It was a cruel thought that they’d spare him – that they’d do everything in their power not to hurt him in the way they hurt her.

They were wrestling him onto his back when his mouth finally caught up to his actions.

“My daughter!” He shouted. “My daughter. You took her.” He leered in the face of the nearest soldier, tears glistening in his eyes. “You took her.”

A needle was being pressed into his skin when a third voice spoke to him, calmly. Another doctor. “Don’t worry, sir. We’ll find her. I’m sure, wherever she is, she’ll be alright, if she’s not already.”

His next protests were weak as his body suddenly relaxed. His eyes fluttered just as Tommy came into view at his side. Tommy just stared at him. Horrified. Guilty. Sad. They both looked at each other, eyes mirroring one another and telling stories neither one of them were ready to say aloud.

–

2023.

The consequence of grief and sudden loss might be unique to the individual, but it is imminent for all individuals. No one can measure the actions or reactions of another. Neither can blame be given or taken away. The repercussions of any event are often cyclical, far outweighing descriptions or explanations. In any one situation, one might fall and another might rise. Or perhaps one and another might both fall.

With loss, it’s typically the latter.

Joel’s gruff appearance was unmistakable to the people in the Boston QZ. Unsurprising. Like the rumor that swirled around about him after the day’s shifts ended and the people could return to their nightly rituals of whatever placated their poor souls — beer, pills, sex. The former two either stolen or traded for rations.

The rumor didn’t spread far — not past a block, maybe a sector at most. It was a cautious one. A woman told of her inability to toss a child’s body to the flames during her shift. An unforgiving job. A thankless act of service to the QZ that meant discarding the ones killed at the hands of those in authority — by Fedra. Infected. Suspected. Guilty (or not). Didn’t matter. Her story was one that stoked plenty of bitter, angry people who already hated the QZ for their wrongs and misdoings.

But it was Joel who stoked their feelings too — feelings of fear and avoidance. Wordlessly, he had tossed the lifeless child into the awaiting flames with as much absence of emotion as he always displayed. Unfeeling. Unapproachable. Never spoke a word but was somehow enough all on his own – enough to cause others to steer clear, to look away whenever he came around.

The only one that could tolerate him, that could placate him, was Tess. Something she could use to her advantage and soak in the pleasure of.

Nearly a thousand miles away, you were pacing wordlessly outside a freezer in the back of a restaurant in downtown Chicago. A bitter cry had long-since been muted by the sounds of grunts and a flurry of punches before a familiar face stepped out. He didn’t say anything, even when he walked right by you and wiped his hands on a dirty rag.

You did as you always did — followed at his heels. “I don’t trust this guy, Dallas. He’s lying.”

“You never trust anyone.” His face was serious, but his voice carried humor. You rolled your eyes.

“And for good reason. He’s been lying since I found him by the old medical camp near Lincoln Park.”

“You don’t think I know that?”

He turned to look at you, eyes boring into yours for a few seconds. You were dropping your gaze before the intensity of it all could get too thick. For a moment, your attention bounced around the small kitchen. Your ears caught the quiet voices of your group outside — a good mix of men and women.

Dallas turned fully, tossing the rag on the floor and standing in front of you with arms crossed over his chest. “What were you doing near the old med bay?”

“I told you.” Your voice had a dangerous edge to it. You shifted your weight to your other foot and finally met his gaze again. “I ran an errand.”

Unconvinced, Dallas nodded. “You were looking for him again, weren’t you?”

He commanded and barked orders well. You usually followed them — usually. But even he wasn’t stupid enough to mention his name aloud to you. Your sibling’s name was never spoken again after you revealed to Dallas that dark night twenty years earlier. But Dallas knew this was about him. He could tell in the way a muscle in your jaw jumped, and you looked away briefly.

He chuckled. Dark. Low. “Look, I get it. You haven’t been back here in years, and I figured the thought of finding him’s been tempting you since Arizona. But you keep putting the group at risk, and I’ll have to abandon you.”

You snorted. “As if you’d leave me behind.”

“Watch me.”

He was grinning, a certain humor in his tone that wasn’t in the least bit light or airy. There was nothing indicating that he wasn’t as serious as his darkened eyes meant to be. Something twisted in your stomach, heart plummeting, as your smile dropped at the thought. Only a moment went by before you forced the feeling away, choking the thick emotions down until the only thing you could feel was cold metal being pushed into your hand.

“If you don’t trust him,” Dallas muttered, stepping closer to you as he pressed the gun into your limp palm a bit firmer, “then end it.”

You swallowed quietly, taking the weapon and testing its weight without once looking up at him. You could feel him hovering over you. His heat dripped off of him and pooled at your feet. Deep. Menacing. Unforgiving. His request wasn’t the first time, and you were sure it wouldn’t be the last. But this time, this one time, some part of you felt off. Something tugged at your lips until you unknowingly frowned down at the tigger your finger hovered over.

Maybe it was the mention of him. Maybe your emotions were too high and your willingness finally waning. Maybe it was the sister waiting back at the old medical camp, looking for the brother you helped kidnapped and now held hostage in some worn-down freezer.

“Is this really necessary?” You asked. “If he’s really lying, we can still use him.”

“And have them get to him? He’s a damn liar, sure, but he’s a traitor first. He knows what we did.”

“Yeah, but he did the same to them.” You finally looked back up at him, gun held loosely at your side. “For us. Remember? What else did we expect? For him not to turn on us, too?”

Dallas was quiet for a moment, a long moment. But the way he was peering down at you, with hooded eyes and clenched teeth, didn’t change for a second. “I’ve never stopped to question you. We are the only two here. I never left you.”

You knew what he was referencing. Suddenly the group just beyond the thin white door separating the kitchen from the dining area seemed too close, too imposing. Every person in your group was a new face. Their voices were still unfamiliar and discomforting to hear. Your old companions were either dead or dying, snitching to Fedra for brownie points or taking their chances on their own, and Dallas was all you had left...

He measured the look on your face before leaning in further, adding, “Now’s your chance to prove your loyalty to me.”

Your eyes snapped up at him, mouth now partially agape. Everything you had done leading up to this point had been erased by that measly sentence. Your actions, however gruff and unforgiving, were whittled to nothing before your eyes, and you were made out to be a fraud. Weak. Someone incapable of returning the favor of protection or dishing it out in the first place. The thought made you sick.

With a low huff, you spun on your heels and walked determinedly back to the freezer. You threw open the door to find your old partner, Brett, tied haphazardly to a chair surrounded by two of your guys. At the sight of you, his eyes were blown wide and head shook furiously from side to side. He was shouting something: No. No. No— please, no. But you were already gone, doomed to proving what you had already proved time and time again.

It only took one steady aim before you pulled the trigger.

Your men stood, jaw slack, as Brett’s body fell with a sickening thump. Your knees suddenly felt wobbly as adrenaline seeped from your body in waves, nearly doubling over as a pain hit your chest. You sniffed, waving the barrel of the gun between the two men before pointing it in Brett’s direction.

“Clean this up.”

Perhaps — for you and for Joel and for anyone else — the mind and body’s first instinct is denial. Perhaps sorrow cannot be given a true voice. Perhaps acceptance is far more brutal than the precious time one can spare living a half truth. Whatever the reason, manifestations of pain and suffering matter little when grief goes unnoticed and the heart unattended.

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