#I really thought I might be the crazy one until Briggs said “a few months? no problem.”

[zazter-den]

-Strolling up to your dash a week late wearing a singed shirt, espresso powder & protein drink in hand, and blackout shades on- So my prince turned into a toad, and I'm back on tumblr after a week cause Briggs says isolating after a breakup is "bad for your health" or somethin'

Answering my inbox and getting caught up over the weekend, I really hope you all have been having an easier time of things this past week.

Updates Below

◈ I broke up Aymeric, and even though I chose it- it still fecking sucks. I live in a place that enacted a strict abortion law that will put prosecuted doctors in jail. I have a genetic condition that makes birth control and pregnancy Highly Risky (as in organ rupture/ stroke are the major concerns), so I mainly have to rely on condoms. Maybe it's entitled of me, but if I say I don't feel comfortable having PiV/PiA sex from the end of June (when the law will be in effect) to December (when the appeal kicks in)- I expect my partners to support that, not fucking chuckle. Rereading Neon's Ambivalence to soothe the sting, but damn guys I really liked this dude.

◈ I have just been autopilot since, mainly focusing on my part of Luigi's Mansion remodel. It's still creepy, and I'm glad my job is done. Not happy that I won't be on the schedule for the next week while the actual engineers and housing experts finish up though :[ but it'll give me more time to spring clean the apartment and maybe work more on writing.

◈ I've added a Caretaker Katsuki, Caretaker Inumaki, and Expectant-Dad Gojo to the official WIPs list since there's 3k spread between 'em. I've given up on giving ETAs on fics because if I'm being honest- writing with adhd is a gacha pull lmao

[breanime]

Dynamite (Part Five)

Things start to get heavy here!

warning: violence, domestic violence

*cover by @moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown*

Part Five: Got Dynamite

You woke up surrounded by the sun, feeling warm and safe and perfectly sore. You opened your eyes to see the sunlight illuminating your room, and you smiled as you sat up. Johnny was beneath you, looking like an angel as he slept. It had been so long since you’d felt this feeling, this unconditional, unstoppable, powerful love. You’d never felt like that for Miguel, even in your good days, but with Johnny… It was just so natural. You leaned down and kissed his cheek, his skin warm under your lips.

He grinned, his eyes still closed. “Yo,” he said, his voice deep and hoarse and making you clench your thighs together, “I don’t wanna ruin the mood, but I gotta say something…”

“Okay?”

He opened his eyes, and when he saw you, his smile widened. Your heart did a flip in your chest. The way he was looking at you… As if you hung the sun, which was crazy, because he did! “I never,” he said, “not even for a second, ever stopped loving you.”

You smiled back. “Me neither.” You leaned down and kissed him, feeling so light and warm and happy as he wrapped his arms around you. Being back in Johnny’s arms after so long was so much better than you’d ever imagined it would be—and you’d imagined it quite a few times.

“After this,” Johnny said, laying back with your head on his chest, “After today, once he’s back on American soil, Mikey, Briggs, and the team will arrest him.” You didn’t have to ask who “he” was. It was weird, discussing your husband in your marriage bed as you laid with another man—a man you loved far more than you’d ever loved Miguel.

You bit your lip. “And… after that?” You asked, trying not to let the insecurity show in your voice. Johnny was a Fed, after all, and you were… You were his case. Once it was over… would he leave you again? It’d been so easy for him the last time…

“After that,” Johnny answered, lifting your chin and looking into your eyes so you could see how sincere and serious he was, “It’s us, baby. Just us.”

You smiled, and your smile was like the rising sun to Johnny. You kissed him, which lead to another few hours lost in the sheets.

Later, Johnny stood in front of you, his hands on your face as he kissed you. “Next time we see each other,” he said, smiling, “everything will be different. Well, not everything—not the way I feel about you.”

You smiled back, feeling like you could fly, you felt so light and happy, weightless in your overwhelming bliss. “Hurry back to me.”

Johnny leaned down, his soft lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “I am never leaving you again,” he promised, “I never should have left in the first place…” He kissed you, his arms wrapping around you, bringing you closer. “I love you.”

“I love you,” you said, meaning those three words with all of your heart, “See you soon.”

“Soon,” he promised.

Hyped up on love, as soon as you were alone, you rushed up to your room. You slammed a suitcase down onto the bed and started packing. You were floating, grabbing garments and perfumes, and stuffing them into your bag. Honestly, you’d be happy to leave with nothing if that meant you could be with Johnny, but you figured you couldn’t go with him wherever he was staying now, so you anticipated having to stay in a hotel. You spun around the room, giggling to yourself as you packed. Johnny loved you. He loved you. He loved you. God, you had wished for him for so long, missed his touch and kiss and smile—and now he was back. He was with you. It was almost too much, the joy, too good to be true—but that was Johnny. You knocked something down, and you bent down to pick it up.

It was your wedding photo.

You stared down at it, a feeling of sadness on the edge of your ecstasy. You had loved Miguel, once. And you really did try, at first, to be a loyal and forgiving wife, but… You were never meant to be with him, and he was never meant to be with you. Maybe he was supposed to be with Emily, or Adelita, or some other powerhouse of a woman, but whoever it was; it wasn’t you. You put your hand on his photo, looking down at the man you married and feeling nothing for him. You were supposed to be with Johnny, you’d always known that, and now, you had the chance to be with him again. You got to start over, you got to be draped in this sunshine again, and you couldn’t wait to—

“Going somewhere, mi amor?”

You stopped cold, your heart freezing in your chest. Slowly, you turned to see Miguel standing in the doorway, smirking over at you with a cold look in those dark eyes of his. He walked over to you, and you were frozen in your spot. He grabbed your wrist, and you dropped the picture.

“You and Johnny have plans?” He asked, his grip like a vice. He let out a humorless laugh. “What, you think I didn’t see you drooling over him like a dog?”

“W-what do you care?” You shot back. “You don’t even want me anymore!”

“You are mine,” he growled, shaking your wrist, his eyes on his ring on your finger, “My wife! Not some… common whore!”

“Whore? Are you mistaking me for your ex-wife?” You yelled back, trying to pull your arm out of his grasp. “Or for yourself?”

“Watch how you talk to me—”

“How the fuck are you gonna lecture me when your breath still smells like blonde pussy—” Your words were interrupted by Miguel’s hand slamming into your face. You fell back, hitting the dresser. Miguel had never struck you before, but as you looked up at him, your jaw stinging and heart pounding, you knew it was only the first hit…

…and not the last.

Johnny had gotten into his car, his heart so full he thought it might burst, and turned his phone on. He had a few calls and messages from the team, the last one telling him to report to Graceland ASAP. He drove absentmindedly, his heart and mind on you. He felt like a fool, wasting all those years when he could have been with you—but he had you now, and he wasn’t going to let you go ever again. He hopped out of the car and floated into the house, unable to keep the smile off of his face—you just had that effect on him. But he stopped when he walked into the house.

“—a complete farce!” Mike was yelling.

“Who made that call? Give me his name!” Briggs screamed.

Johnny jogged into the room. “Whoa, whoa, what’s going on?”

Holden was standing in the living room, arms crossed, and that sour look on his face, and Mike and Briggs looked like they were both about to burst a blood vessel. “Agent Tuturro,” he sighed, “How many times do I have to tell you to keep your phone on when you’re working a case?”

“Johnny,” Mike turned to him, his blue eyes full of emotion, “this—I—I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” He frowned, looking over at Briggs. “Yo, what is he talkin’ about?”

“Head Agent Holden made an executive decision at the last second,” Briggs explained, his eyes hot with fury, “We weren’t able to apprehend Galindo.”

“What?!” Johnny spun towards Holden, his heart pounding now for a completely different reason now. “Why the fuck not?!”

“The government has decided not to arrest Galindo until he’s made a deal with the full team present,” Holden began.

“Because having Briggs and I there just wasn’t enough!” Mike shouted, disgusted.

“AND it has to be on U.S soil,” Holden continued, “The Mexican government refuses to implicate a Galindo, and without their backing, any crimes committed on their side of the border is out of our hands—”

“—we have enough to indict him,” Briggs argued, “with Y/N’s testimony and the evidence she’s given us, we can put him away!”

“Only for a few months, and with his legal team, he’d be out before we could even construct a worthwhile case,” Holden said back, “We need more time, need to gather more intel—”

“—we can’t keep her in there,” Johnny cried, nearing panic, “I promised her I would get her out!”

“Well,” Holden shrugged one shoulder, “that’s why we don’t sleep with our informants, Tuturro.”

Briggs and Mike moved at the same time, grabbing Johnny as he lunged at Holden, holding him back. Johnny pushed against them, but they held him off, pushing him back a few feet. Holden jumped back, eyes wide. “You—you’re too close, Tuturro! I’m pulling you off this case!”

“What?!” Mike yelled.

“You can’t do that!” Johnny shouted.

“Johnny’s the closest one to the cartel right now, you can’t pull him out!” Briggs added.

“I can, Agent Briggs, and I am,” Holden said, glaring at them as he adjusted his tie, “because I’m in charge. Me. And I don’t need a disgraced wildcard,” he turned his gaze to Johnny, “or an emotional hothead,” he glared over at Mike, “or a snitch telling me what to do.”

Johnny felt a great sense of hatred bonding him, Mike, and Briggs in that moment, and he balled his fists up, eager to punch that smug motherfucker straight in the face. But before he could, Paige and Charlie burst in, out of breath.

“We have to get to Y/N!” Paige said, running into the room.

“Agent Arkin, we don’t—” Holden began.

“What’s going on?” Johnny asked, stepping up.

“Emily’s locked up,” Paige reported, “she’s in holding downtown now, and she told me that Miguel is on his way to kill Y/N!”

Johnny wasted no time, running out of the house with his team at his back. Holden stared after them, jaw dropped. No one even spared him a look back.

They broke every speed limit to get to your place, breaking down the door and rushing in. Johnny lead the team up the stairs and into your room, his gun drawn. But when he stepped in—

—the room was empty.

“Clear!” Charlie called into the radio from her position in the house.

“Clear!” Briggs reported.

“All clear!” Mike said.

“Clear down here, too!” Paige said.

Johnny lowered his weapon; the room was a mess, and he felt his skin grow cold when he saw blood on the mirror. He walked towards the bed, noticing a suitcase overturned on the floor before he saw a paper on the bed. “Guys,” he said into his radio, “Up here…”

The team found him standing in the same spot, staring down at the paper.

“What is it, Johnny?” Briggs asked, standing beside him.

Johnny didn’t answer. Briggs took the paper—a polaroid picture—out of Johnny’s hand, and hissed. It was a simple photo of a worn-down church pew with a short, poignant message written beneath the picture. The message was written in blood.

Serrano- Hope you were worth it.

*******************************************************************************************

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! Oh boy... Things are getting too spicy for the pepper! Let me know how you felt about this chapter: the good, bad, and the ugly! I’ll post the final part tomorrow--any predictions? It’s gonna be angstyyyyyy....

Everything Taglist: @sweetybuzz25  @mrsjaxtellerfan  @rhabakoli  @encounterthepast @realduckvader   @justvnash @knowles-morgan  @ateliefloresdaprimavera @evanlys19  @nyxxnoxx @carlaangel86  @luminex3 @jigsawlover10  @gollyderek @otomefromtheheart @lexxierave @crushed-pink-petals @amethyst09 @falsehopesndreams  @a-dorky-book-keeper @witchygagirl @glimmerglittergirl​ @nich0lasmatthews​ @ben-c-group-therapy​ @felicity-x0​ @amirra88​ @mamabutterflyyy​ @vibranium-soul​ @xserenax-13​  @whoaitslucyy-blog  @gemini0410​ @ktiz90​ @theoceanhathsolace​ @starrynite7114​

Johnny Tuturro Taglist: @beardburnsupersoldiers​ @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored​  @jamielennkeeler​ @honeym-daddi​ @missjessie21 @tashawar​  @smoooore​​ @texasbama​​ @chaotic-rayofsunshine​ @uhlxis​  @langiinspirations

[funkymbtifiction]

The Effect of Emotional Abuse on Each Type: ESFP

SUBMITTED by hannah-elizabeth-j

I’ve seen a few posts/requests on here about the effects of emotional abuse and the affect that it has on each Myers Briggs type so, as someone who works with a lot of domestic abuse victims I thought that I’d give my two cents worth. I wanted them to be quite detailed to give people a fair amount of information so this will be the general format; a general description of what it will look like, how this differs from similar types (ie. the ENFJ compared to the INFJ and ESFJ) and a character in fiction who acts similar to this (may not be for the same reason and I might not get one for each type but I’ll try).

ESFP

There will be some variation depending on when the abuse took place in their life but there are somethings that will remain the same.

Now I know that on tumblr this type seems to be hard to come by but….

From my observations, an ESFP while in an abusive situation can essentially be broken down into three stages and fortunately, there is a fiction example that I know for each stage.

First let’s start off with stage one or what I call the ‘Early on Daenerys days’ (as I said in the ISFJ post never read the books so this is from the TV show). Think back to the first episodes of Game of Thrones what Daenerys was in the control of her brother. She was extremely timid, rarely speaking up for herself and when she did, there wasn’t much behind it. Well, that is essentially what an ESFP will look like when either they have only been in an abusive relationship for a few months (long enough for the person to be screwing with their heads but not long enough for marriage, kids, life, etc) or for the first chunk of their lives as a child if they are being abused by a parent.

The length of this stage will be totally dependent on the situation they are in but for those who haven’t watched Game of Thrones this is what it will look like; not an ESFP. Or at least not any ESFP image that is online descriptions. Since ESFP’s are naturally so engaged with the world and at that time the world is the very nightmare that they want to escape from, they will tend to go against their own nature and focus greatly on their Ni. Unlike most other types, the grip comes into play when they are in an abusive situation instead of after they have left it. For a while, while their Fi is screaming in their head, “no this is wrong I don’t want this!” the abuser is saying that those thought are crazy and they should feel guilty for having them. So, they go along with it.

Like everyone, they spend a time appeasing their abuser because that is what they are being made to think is the right thing to do. They get their moral system screwed with, hard. Even if you have Fi, trust me these people can still twist your entire worldview, it’s just what happens.

Now at some point, something will trigger a change in the ESFP. It could be anything really, but the point is they will end up seeing that what is happening is wrong. This is when we really start to see the ESFP come into themselves in the next ‘stage.’

This is what I have dubbed the ‘Sirius Black era.’ Sirius actually grew up in an incredibly abusive household so if you really want to examine an abused ESFP, he’s a good choice. In his later teenage years Sirius rebelled, hard. The bold nature of Se mixed with the outrage of Fi is really seen here. Picture a lot of sneaking out, partying, some are brave enough to cheat on their partner if they are the abusive ones.They will do anything just to show the abuser they don’t own them, they speak up, call them out on it, do anything to annoy them and sometimes leave. Now, if they can leave at this stage, that is great but the sad truth is that not everyone can and since the ESFP has just done everything they can to push the abuser, things will often get a lot worse for them.

Here comes the last ‘stage,’ have you watched The Tudors? Those last few episodes with Anne Boleyn when she really started to lose it that Natalie Dormer played to perfection? Because that is what you can expect. If they were unable to leave after the rebelling stage then expect to see something truly tragic, the loss of hope inwardly while outwardly they are a mix of Se recklessness and unhealthy Ni detachment from everything. Eating disorders are often common. I honestly find this really hard to explain so if you haven’t watched the show I’ll just link some scenes that best demonstrate what I mean.

( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ng7dU5faIg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXTtoP4OJyk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9BdTLBREV8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ0_OCn0RK4 )

After they have left the abusive situation, it tends to go one of two ways, it depends on when they left. If they left during the rebellious stage, then even though they are no longer in the abusive situation, they often go into the third stage anyway. But if they went through the third stage while still in the abusive situation, what you tend to see is some intense disperse. Screaming, crying, throwing things, through to work through their emotions while at the same time not being able to express them effetely, not just because of the nature of Fi but also the havoc imposed on them and their emotional development at the hands of their abuser. They seem to completely fall apart in a very dramatic way while being unable to speak about it.

Until one day, quite suddenly to the people around them, they stop. They pick themselves up and, although often quite numb for a few months after, they piece themselves back together. They built themselves up into the person that they both want to be and are.

Now down the road of course there will be some things that are harder or flare up issues for them. They tend to identify very strongly with the people who went through what they have and often go into a full time job or volunteer position in something that will help victims of abuse like them. 

ESFP vs ESTP

Look carefully at them while in the recovery stage, an ESTP will reach out to try and talk to people more, an ESFP won’t

Look at how they were in the abusive situation in the early stages, an ESTP will be more detached and ESFP will appear to be feeling it all and killing themselves to try and detach/not feel it

An ESTP is more likely to avoid forming their life to help people from this issue. Now this  is not to say that the ESTP firstly wouldn’t help anyone they happened to meet who was going through it, they 100% would, and they would care about the issue of domestic abuse, they just tend to be less focused on forming major parts of their life from that experience

ESFP vs ISFP

ISFP’s rebel far less, if at all when in abusive situations. Compare Sirius to Harry in Harry Potter. Both spoke up for themselves at a point but while Sirius ran off to James and frequently and in any way possible annoyed his parents (like shoving it down their throats that he was Gryffindor, putting posters up of muggle things in his room, ect.), Harry just didn’t take their shit, but rarely went out of his way to annoy them and never went off to go and live with Ron (we know Dumbledore would not have let him but Harry didn’t always know this and he still didn’t)

Oddly enough since its higher for them, ISFP’s don’t get as lost in Ni as do ESFP’s (this is due to the grip)

Te grip all over the place for ISFP’s

As for fictional examples as I said; Sirius Black (Harry Potter), Daenerys Targaryen (Game  of Thrones) and late on Anne Boleyn (The Tudors), also if you want to see one that never recovered from the anger, rebelling but actually took it one step further and now must control everything so he is not controlled again character, Klaus Mikaelson (The Vampire Diaries/The Originals) .