#I refuse to use Xiangling we don't like her in this house

[restlessreveries]

The cannons + gunbrella skill parts of Navia's kit is so much fun that I keep forgetting that I have normal attacks. 100/10 character design right there.

[poorgay]

mock childe voice lines for the childe 8+ moms au

note: this au assumes that the abyss is where genshin women who "die" offscreen run off to after faking their death, your 🫵 fave can be in the nightmare polycule too: for the low, low price of dubious ethics. (thank you @/8147, my co-conspirator )

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About Family: Mothers

Tartaglia: Family is one of the most important things to me. It even comes before fighting! Though, some people tend to balk at the size of mine..

Traveler: *cough* thats what she said... *cough*

Paimon: How big is your family, in terms of food of course! Like three Sweet Madames?

Tartaglia: Haha, more like 15 Pile 'Em Ups.

Paimon: Even Paimon couldnt eat all that...

Tartaglia: Ignoring my siblings, I alone have 8?.. Wait, no I think its 10 moms?

Tartaglia: Ignoring my siblings, I alone have 8?.. Wait, no I think its 10 moms?

Paimon: 10! Are they trying to set a record or something?

Tartaglia: Yeah actually.

Traveler: Wow. Mothers Day shopping must be a nightmare

Tartaglia: Lets just say I'm lucky to have a harbingers salary...



♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About the Tsaritsa: Family

Tartaglia: Her majesty The Tsaritsa! I could sing her praises all day! Shes the best! Hm? Wait, you want to know about my relation to the tsaritsa? Ah, lemme guess, this is about her calling me сын right? HEY WAIT, DO YOU THINK MY POSITION IN THE FATUI IS BASED OFF OF NEPOTISM?!

Paimon: Well.. Paimon wasn't gonna say anything...

Tartaglia: Do you want me to show you how I earned my position little comrade?

Paimon: P-Paimon says no thanks!

Traveler: Haven't you lost in every battle we've ever had? Isn't the 10th seat emp-

Tartaglia: Anyways, I have no clue why she calls me that. We aren't related as far as I know. It's just for some reason, scary women start...adopting me? It happens all the time; I've stopped questioning it. Though out of all of them, she tends to be the peace maker. I refuse to call her Мамулечка though, thats too informal for Her Majesty, I don't care what she says. Maybe Маменька or *snickers* Матушка *chuckles*

Paimon: Paimon doesn't get it...

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About Raiden Makoto: Family

Tartaglia: Makoto.... Makoto.... That name sounds familiar... Oh! You mean haha-ue? Shes the best! What I know about her?... Well... she tends to look outside the palace windows ... longingly? muttering something or other about "How she wishes Inazuma could know this type of peaceful eternity." She actually writes poetry about the subject pretty often, I guess she's bummed about the vision hunt decree?

Paimon: That sounds like someone we know- WAIT THE TSARITSA IS KEEPING BAAL HOSTAGE!!??

Tartaglia: 1) SHES WHO?! 2) rude 3) I offered to take her with me for a mission there and she refused. Saying something about "Having made her peace with it", "This is the only way" and "Ei would kill me if she knew i faked my death give it another 1000 years" Honestly, what is with old people and speaking in riddles...

Paimon: Paimon thinks you're not..never mind

Tartaglia: Other than that, she seems pretty content acting like the Tsaritsa's house wife, and, not to put them against eachother, but her omurice,,, man it puts Xiangling to shame.

Paimon: Huh... Paimon guesses even twins can be completely different.

Traveler: And children.

Tartaglia: Hm?

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About Guizhong: Family

Tartaglia: Niáng!! Shes the best! I didnt know her until recently, but MAN is it good to have someone to rag on Zh-....

Paimon: Paimon thought you were over that?

Tartaglia: ... Ehe, of course, a warrior never lets past misgivings ruin his judgement. Anyways Niángs always doing something, either improving weapons for us to use-

Paimon: GUIZHONGS HELPING THE FATUI??

-making music with haha-ue or tending to the "garden" master keeps. Its always hard to pin her down to one place. Remarkable how so much energy can fit into one tiny body and how she keeps her hanfu clean...

Paimon: reminds Paimon of someone

Traveler: Oh but he isn't tiny...

Tartaglia: I'm getting sick of you and your sass.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About Skirk: Family

Tartaglia: Master Skirk.. she taught me everything I knew when I was at my lowest. Shes the best! She doesn't talk much but when she does I always keep my ears peeled. A warrior must always take any opportunity handed to him!

Paimon: Uh-huh

Traveler: ...

Tartaglia: HEY! DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT! It came in handy with Zh.. Anyways, She always seemed lonely back in the Abyss, I'm glad she has her partners back.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About the Damselette: Family

Tartaglia: She... creeps me out... Even more when she asks me to call her Mami. I don't understand how the others get along with her so well.. maybe cause shes quiet? Even then... she can be a total chatterbox with Lwalida... Wierdly enough the two hate each other? I dont know, best not to question it.

Traveler: Ah, a universal classic, two people coming together for juicy gossip. Speaking of which, Childe did you hear

Paimon: Hey! Hey! Hey! Don't leave Paimon out! Paimon wants to know too!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About the Knave: Family

Tartaglia: I don't trust her at ALL. I am NOT calling her Мамулечка. Her and Skirk get along pretty well though. I think it's the silent knight vibe that draws everyone else in. Niáng is constantly pestering her over what's up with her eyes... I'm kinda curious too but I doubt we'll ever get an answer.

Paimon: Paimon thinks you're one to talk.

Tartaglia: HEY! My eyes are a part of my charm!

Traveler: Whatever helps you sleep at night.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About Rhinedottir: Family

Tartaglia: Móðir? Yeah shes the best! I first met her a bit after I came out the Abyss, She said "Hey, you! You're Skirk's boy right? Well you're my kid now too." and I just went along with it.

Traveler: ...That seems a little, "out-of-character" for you.

Tartaglia: Listen, when you're 14 and find a woman with 80 different rifthounds following her You Do Not Ask Questions. Besides, she shows me more applications for my Foul Legacy and I, Tartaglia, am-

Traveler and Paimon: ...Always getting stronger, trust us we know.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About Alice: Family

Tartaglia: Mutti! She's the best! She made me this special map of Teyvat with the most dangerous places highlighted and gold starred! Oh oh an- HEY! WAIT GIVE THAT BACK!

Paimon: No can do! For the safety of Teyvat, Pretty Guardian Sailor Paimon is confiscating this!

Tartaglia: *Sigh* fine, Anyways It's always great to meet another defender of childhood dreams! Though... shes a bit too good at it

Traveler: That coming from you...

Paimon: Paimons worried...

Tartaglia: Heh, lets just say its good she doesn't come around often

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About Istaroth: Family

Tartaglia: Okan! Shes the best! Whenever she comes over she brings stuff I could never dream of! Everyone gets super excited for her visits, even the damselette! For example, on last week she brought this!

Traveler: Wait. Is that a fucking Among Us Pop-it.

Tartaglia: Oh right! You've been to other worlds as well! She said it's supposed to "help my focus as a warrior."! Apparently Master Skirk complained too much after she gave me this potion called a "Monster Energy" so she gave me this instead!

Traveler: Do me a favor. Never accept anything from her ever again. In fact burn everything she gives you

Tartaglia: Ha! As if! It's not like you to be jealous Traveler. Don't worry I'll ask her to get you something comrade.

Traveler: Y'know what. Fine, ask her to bring Tik Tok, thats the perfect gift for you. 'was getting bored anyways

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

About the Goddess of Flowers: Family

Tartaglia: Lwalida! Shes the best! She works closely with Her Majesty. Apparently she was behind the theatrical names for the Harbingers. She taught me how to master the perfect fake cry to catch my enemies off guard!

Paimon: Paimon doesnt think anyone would fall for that.

Tartaglia: I'll have you know I've always gotten encores whenever I've preformed at the снежный шар theater thank you very much.

Paimon: Hm... You sure they weren't scared of you?

Tartaglia: That too. But Lwalida is a really good actor, in fact she's a legend in the Fatui. She's held the highest ranking on the Fatui faked death leaderboard for 500 years now!

Traveler: They have a leaderboard for that?

Tartaglia: Oh yeah, It's really intense. Some people have bet over 600 million mora on La Signora not being dead.

Traveler:....

Paimon: ...

Traveller: New plan! Paimon, we're headed to Snezhnaya!

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

fin!

(masterpost for this au here)

[slimepuparibaba]

ChiLumi | Hidden Meaning

Okay, so, basically, this takes place in between the Archon missions and before Golden House.

I'm gonna leave bullet points just cuz it's easier that way and I'm so bad at writing. I might make a fic of it later though if enough people want me to XD

There might be some additional parts to this too cuz I wanna put in detail how the Golden House fight went down, how Childe's story mission worked, and every other ChiLumi headcanon after that so yeah.

They may be a bit OOC but this is how I imagine it playing out

So we're clear, Childe has used his charms to woo over many to gain information for the Fatui. He sees Lumine slightly falling for him so he decides to use this to his advantage no one tell the boy he is in love yet, he refuses to believe it

Childe invites Lumine out to run some errands around Liyue. His excuse? The group is running out of food and needs to cook up some more stuff for their future adventures.

His conditions? Everyone else must stay behind, including Paimon. Paimon says no to this, obviously, since she hasn't left Lumine's side.

Lumine, however, says yes.

Most of the team is heavily against this outing, but Kaeya, Barbara, Chongyun, and Xiangling seem to be on Lumine's side, letting her go and convince the rest to let Childe and Lumine do as they please. (Side note: Kaeya and Barbara are huge playing factors in this entire ChiLumi saga)

Childe and Lumine start wandering around Liyue and stop by the beach, where Lumine starts picking up some starconches behind Childe's back

She hands it over and says it's a gift for him. When he asks why, she says she wants to try and convince Childe to join them on their adventure.

Lumine isn't dumb; she knew Childe did this to try and squeeze info out of her, hence why she accepted. However, she decided that she wants to try and convince Childe to leave the Fatui and switch sides.

Childe isn't convinced, obviously, and says that he is her enemy--she can't expect him to switch sides that easily, could she? Especially not when he's made it clear that he, Tartaglia, the 11th Harbinger, wants to conquer the world!

Lumine, however, begs to differ

"How about we make a deal?" She asks. "I'll take you sightseeing around Liyue Harbor while we run errands. I want you to take a good look this time and see the people of Liyue not as people you collect debt from, not as people you need to defeat, nor as people you need to conquer. I want you to see the as people with families and lives, living their days out peacefully... as your average human being, like you or me. If you can do that, at least consider leaving the Fatui, okay?"

Childe scoffs, saying that he'll only take the deal because he knows it won't work. Lumine shoves the starconch into his hands and pulls him along, smiling sweetly. His heart slightly flutters but this stupid idiot thinks the world is black and white and he can't be in love with the enemy so he ignores it.

Lumine starts heading to some stalls and buying some food, sharing it with Childe. He states that he's already done this before, but she wants him to experience it from a different point of view. She leads him to Wanmin Restaraunt and the two feast.

Childe doesn't know why, but for some reason, the food tastes a bit better than when he tasted it the first time he came to Liyue. He looks to Lumine, who's enjoying every bite, and softly smiles.

After paying, she continues dragging him everywhere. To drink tea, to hear stories, or to even watch kids fly kites (and even convince him to fly a kite with her)

Then, they get to the middle of Yujing Terrace

Childe was having a great time so far and was almost forgetting that he was supposed to be dragging out information from her, but when they got to the scene where the Exuvia was supposed to be, where the crime scene had taken place days earlier, he remembered that he was a Fatui. What was he doing, having fun without getting his job done? He needed to get that Gnosis, after all, from Rex Lapis' corpse.

Lumine leads him to one of the altars and says that even if the Rite of Decension is no more, she still wants to make a wish with him. Childe is amused that she would do such a thing and agrees.

She lights the incense stick and lights the altar, making her wish. Childe starts to question her.

"Y'know... I would like to know what you wished for, Oujo-chan. Convince me that the Tsaritsa is wrong about this whole thing... that the world shouldn't be our enemy and that there's still hope."

Childe was expecting Lumine to turn him down, but she answered with her wish.

"...I want to be reunited with someone special to me. We were always attached to the hip whenever we traveled together, and even if we parted ways, I knew where to meet him. I knew where to go. But I lost him... and I'm so scared. I wake up in the middle of the night because I keep seeing nightmares where he walks away from me and I can never reach him."

She has a sad look in her eyes as she keeps continuing.

"If anything, I just want to see him again and know he's safe... and, along the way, maybe gather up more friends. I want to have the people of Teyvat united and happy together... if I can gather more people together, I'd like that... we can go hunt for treasure, solve puzzles, discover ruins, fight ruins... all while trying to find our own goals, we can come together, as a family."

Childe smiled at her answer, and when Lumine asked what he wished for, he hesitantly answered. He began to murmur, searching for the right words, but all he could come up with was the answer he knew all around him expected from him.

"...to become stronger and... conquer the world...?"

He sounded unsure, because he was. Lumine didn't pick up on that and just laughed, saying that sounded so like him. But, truth was, he was conflicted on his wish.

In truth, he wanted a resolve like Lumine.

He wished someone would tell him that he doesn't need to constantly fight and bring chaos.

He wished someone would treat him as a friend, or even as family, unlike the Fatui, who either despised him with their entire being or feared him, whether out of respect or their sheer will to survive in the Fatui.

He wished someone would tell him it's okay to feel vulnerable--that the world was okay, and that he can live as a person. Not as a Harbinger, not as a Fatui...

He wished someone would tell him that he can protect those he loves without constantly destroying others who are loved by their own families.

He looked to Lumine, who started gazing at the stars above and realized one thing and one thing only:

He wished that Lumine would tell him that he isn't alone anymore.

The next day, when Lumine woke up, Childe handed her a bouquet of Windwheel Asters.

When Lumine asked why, Childe brushed it off as telling her to get stronger for their upcoming battle.

Deep inside, though, those weren't Childe's true intentions. In fact, what he meant to say was this:

"When that fateful day comes, beat me... make me change sides. Become so strong that I have no choice but to listen to you."

"Prove to me that I'm a monster worth saving."

my heart aches for these two, because childe in this entire storyline is literally trying to convince himself that he can't switch sides and he's already gone too far deep to be saved

honey plz lumine is trying to show u that you're just like anyone else. you don't need to conquer the world to protect those you love oh my gOD