#I sound so critical I promise I actually like the movie lmao but there were frustrating things about it

[queer-ragnelle]

Shout out to my lovely coworker who messaged me asking my opinion of The Green Knight (2021) and then apologized if it offended me, but they think Gawain sucks. Out here reducing people’s regard for me by doubling down, “Yeah, he really does!” and liking a movie with what I consider to be a mediocre manuscript, if shot well and with a nice score.

Meh opinions about director/writer David Lowery’s baffling writing choices below.

But for real my coworker was just so confused by it all and honestly Lowery could’ve stood to explain obscure historical nuances a little more. And by that I mean literally at all. The significance of beheadings, codes of honor, superstition about foxes, the legends of giants; these aren’t common knowledge to modern American viewers. My coworker had no idea why Gawain would stand up and behead the Green Knight or how Saint Winifred mattered, or why Gawain would throw a rock at the fox in the cave, or plead with the giants and then cower in fear. How would they? No cultural baseline is ever established. And of course, not every movie is for every viewer. But The Green Knight certainly didn’t resonate with medievalists and enthusiasts as much as it could have while confusing and alienating everyone else.

I dunno, having adapted the poem myself, there’s a balance to be found. Somewhere between insulting your audience’s intelligence with blatant narrative pauses to expound upon details and providing literally zero worldbuilding so that even people who read the poem have to sit back and question what they watched. Because it’s not a one to one adaptation, there’s an expectation the narrative will organically define the rules of the universe, and show us the confines of our hero’s skills, understanding, and limitations within that universe.

Shouldn’t Morgan have warned Gawain about dangers and counsel him on etiquette while giving him the girdle? Why didn’t Gawain converse with someone at the pub about the threats outside the kingdom? Couldn’t Arthur have given him an interesting anecdote that foreshadows what’s to come? Merlin is worse than a macguffin, just a wasted narrative tool that could’ve guided Gawain or even reminisced with Arthur about some history, but instead he has no dialogue at all. He just nods when the Green Knight enters and serves as a paternity test in the flash-forward. I wonder how Essel’s bell motif could’ve been extrapolated on. Maybe she gives it to Gawain with a warning about foxes or the threat of bandits or even doppelgängers! Why not give her a cutesy nursery rhyme to sing about the outside world while the year wheel rotates and rotates?

It would’ve been perfectly in character for Gawain to ignore all of this only to meet his comeuppance while providing the audience with necessary context. There was so much time spent on wide shots of Ireland that could’ve been used more effectively or even in conjunction with voice over flashbacks. The creators went through the trouble to cast children to play Gawain’s future offspring, why not use them in flashbacks as a representation of his past self as he reconsiders his rash skeptic’s stance? Even continue the doppelgänger motif? But alas! I’m critical because I liked it and wanted to like it more and because it’s a recent and accessible Gawain-related media several people have watched and come to me about. They thought we could bond over it. Except so far, nobody has liked it…haha!

[possession1981]

my thoughts on kingdom ep4 in one post so i don’t clog up all of yalls dashes. it’s in chronological order.

why is it a criticism that a song “sounded too normal” when that means IT SOUNDED GOOD AS OPPOSED TO SEVERAL OTHERS??? Some of those rearrangements were deadass stupid and distracted from the actual performance although they were made to highlight the “storylines”

jinhwan looks so good w that hair dhfhfjfjfj

“it could have been sexier”.... shut up go watch porn or something idfk.

whoever came up with the idea to trick these boys into thinking any performance that’s not trying to be a full goddamn feature movie in 5 minutes deserves death

the praising of taeyang in the interviews. they were so correct. and this is what i’m always saying.no one has passion and presence like yoo taeyang PERIOD. 

THE WAY TAEYANG IS GIVING AMERICAN GIGOLO

imo the guns work bc they make them erotic and it works like an actual noir but subversive bc it’s homo as fuck. like look at ty and hy’s faces and tell me they’re not giving full horny twink like they did say they wanted it to be mature and uhhh that shows lmao

HWIYOUNGGGGGGGGGGG RAP GOD

Good arrangement even if I personally would prefer it more scaled down with less interruptions but I get that they’re pressured to have all that so it’s understandable

Those explosions went on toooo long. The tango is good tho.

Finally a good arrangement from tbz. They were truly starting to worry me last week. I personally don’t love a tango (frankly dislike them) but I can still acknowledge it’s very well done and a HUGE improvement from the mess of no air.

Unmistakably tbz choreo. Styling is fantastic. The female dancers look cheap af tho they did not have to do them like that.

The set is strange to me. I don’t see the point of a lot of it.

SANGYEON’S SAVE ME EVERY DAY!!!!!!!! PERFECTION.

Ending is nice. Very VERY hellenistic.

literally sangyeon babes it’s not ur fault and also maybe this is a sign uhhhh not every performance needs fire 🙃

Bobby x ateez is so cute shdhfjfjfjf truly him n wooyoung top himbos

No but ikon are so genius they truly truly understand the mf assignment. Also the part w them on the balcony that was so emotionally resonant like such a real moment I do love that.

Set? Immaculate. Beautiful use of the set too.

Love the arrangement. Chorus works really well imo n it transforms the song completely while the bridges keep closely to the original.

Group choreo!!!!!!!!!!! Perfect like all of it.

so in summary:

my top pick is ikon they did everything perfectly, their attitude is insane and they actually look like they have fun on stage. fantastic arrangement that i wanna listen to again and again.

second place for me is sf9. they make acting work because most of them are experienced in it and they didn’t sacrifice the music for a storyline. i wish it had been more cohesive in the music though but as i said, since they were put in last place by the “professionals” for not having enough extras so it’s understandable they went for that to compensate. i would still listen to the song on spotify tho.

third is tbz because i found parts of the set to be frankly unappealing visually and i questioned some choices. i did think the arrangement was really good tho and the choreo was beautiful.

also, please no more fire and guns unless it’s actually necessary. this goes for everyone. i look forward to next week’s performances, the preview is very promising imo.

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 2: SOdden (or Sod ‘Em depending on your persuasion)

(Dont know how long I’ll be able to keep these puns up)

Catherine, like this woman, does not really fit into this era. But while this woman seems dropdead cool and at least looks the part, Catherine just...

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes:

The baby cloth lifting into the ceiling of the chapel had nice ‘myth of the demon countess of Anjou (ancestress of the Plantagenets)’ vibes. I am 100% that was unintentional. I get this impression by the cringiness of the baby’s screams (what’s up with those sound effects? It sounded like a zipper).

Henry gives me such softboi vibes? It’s pleasing to me because it’s making me attracted to him as a viewer, but no good in convincing me this is Henry VIII.

I think Catherine’s exposition about how she feels is pretty ok actually, it’s fitting that she would feel anger.

CHARLES’ FATHER IS NOT MAXIMILIAN, IT’S PHILIP (or rather it was). ~~ A quick wiki search guyz, a quick wiki search. Ughh

Again with the whole everyone acting like Catherine is Queen. Can they cut it out? Also while we’re at it, what was Catherine’s attendance in councils even like?

The music was nice

Post Child announcement phase:

Oof I hate to say it but I lowkey wanted de la Pole back in this mother. Mainly because it would mean more Margaret Pole and by this point I am scared her storyline will fade in prominence now that there’s no longer a Yorkist subplot (showhorned as it was, it was the crowning glory of last season tied with Arthur x Catherine).

More x Maggie Pole and all of it over Seneca and learning :’). I already know this will be the best part of the episode.

‘We certainly know stoicism in our family’ ~ I guess she’s referring to Reggie? Because our boi Clarence was no poster boy for stoicism. Though could she be making an ironic reference to her father~?

Edmund de la Pole Debacle:

Well this convo at least passed the bechdel test.

Maggie and Edmund’s interactions here are touching. I know this plotline was rushed but I think it was just right to bring us back here for 5 min as a mournful throwback to the bygone era to which Maggie Pope belongs to and now continues to do so alone. It is emotionless and you can just feel how the York cause was hanging on by a tired old threat by that point.

Maggie Pole is becoming matronly now and I like this transition.

What bothers me about a lot of fans of Margaret Pole is that what they don’t realise is that she wasn’t all like ‘I want nothing to do with my family I’ll stay low and obscure’. While far more cautious than the likes of her ancestors, she did engage in land disputes with Henry VIII and was an outspoken supporter of Catherine and Catholic. Having her be a woman woth dubious loyalties towards the Tudors is accurate.

Scotland with Meg and Jammes:

LMFAO it’s like they read my mind when I spoke of how much I laughed when Meg was like ‘Alexander Steward you pig!1!!’ last episode.

Nice reference to Aulde Alliance

I like James.

Henry and Catherine on the balcony:

Was she commander of the forces? Was Howard appointed that? Regent she was, ok.

Charlotte Hope’s new hairstyles really suit her!

‘Will you please stop cursing’ agahsjdk ahah

No offence to women (of which I am one) but this comparison between childbirth and war is just... wrong. I know Starz think they are being smart but childbirth is far less impressive than winning or surviving a battle - comparing the two diminishes the bravery of soldiers. YET ,having said that, childbirth is necessary for our society whereas war is almost always futile and by comparing them, it wrongly represents violence as something inherently as natural to us as birth and continuing of civilisation. overall not a smart, respectful or accurate parrallel to make.

Meg and prep for invasion + Catherine in her weird armour:

So Margaret dreams that her husband is dead and bloody in her bed. Ughh show you neeed to get more creative. But I did like the whole ‘dreams are how our ancestors talk to us’ line from Angus Douglas.

Re: Meg in her beret... Why is Meg dressed like me going to the London shops in October? Digging the aesthetic but not sure about the accuracy.

Rich of Catherine to bring up Edmund.

Why is Ursula Pole crying??? What is all this to her really?

Did Howard just call the guard... sonny?? Is this some WW2 crossover?

Catherine - James and the tent parlay:

Did Catherine just insult Meg’s intelligence??

Also lmao I’m going to miss James.

Re: Howard saying ‘I’m not going to get insulted by a man wearing a dress’ .. UMMM Starz, you do know that just thirty years ago men were prancing about in dresses and leggings (essentially). From around the middle of the 14th century to the beggining of 16th century (if not earlier), Englishmen were also essentially prancing about in ‘skirts’.

Am I getting a weird cooperation-partnership vibe between Meg and James?

The Battle:

Charlotte Hope looks so good with the helmet, she’d really suit an english hood! Such a shame they won’t give her one!

Ewwww he’s eating mud, why?

Just standard battle scene. They are all the same to me no matter which movie.

Aftermath:

Jesus, I find the whole Meg crying over James IV so heartfelt ‘you arrogant bastard’ for some reason just came out so full of emotion. Can someone please explain why the hell I ship them more than Henry x Catherine?? Like how ??

Awwww Linna is sooooo adorable ughhh. Also this whole Catherine going into armour among all the women crooning over the children gives this adorable sense of Catherine boyish and bloodying herself out to protect their peace, idk. All I have to say is that these series is less eager to pitt women against each other than the previous. I think that’s a step forwards.

Also, good to see Catherine being modest about her victory so Henry can save face. Finally starting to seem like the real Catherine.

‘Go on you dog’ arghh ahah he sounds like some public school rugby lad egging his mate on.

Re: Wolsey cock-blocker; the real Catherine would know it was uncatholic to have sex when you were pregnant. Also Catherine is not technically speaking in confinement if she’s wandering about.

It’s nice to see Catherine sticking up for Howard, she at least learned to respect him during the battle.

I foresee Oviedo having enough of this Christian stuff and wanting to return to the berber domains (I suppose Spain is out of the question)

Knighting Ceremony:

Apparently Margaret Pole herself was made Countess of Salisbury during this same ceremony... right? @houseofclarence

Also Maggie Pole being like: “being a rebel is in my blood, or so they tell me”... gahhh what’s with these shows and the Clarence erasure? Can’t they make one bloody reference to her dad or grandad Warwick? Ugh. Especially with lines like this. Actually? You know what? Ignore my previous comment about the stoic remark and it being an ironic reference to Clarence. I put such subtlety above this show’s writers.

Catherine has a habit of going to the coldest places possible to lose her children...

Haha @ Henry asking Bessie Blount (of all people) where Catherine is.

Conclusion:

6/10

What I’m happiest about is that Flodden got dealt with in one episode because warrior xena Catherine is not what interests me most about this show. Having said that, it was a true shame that James IV died because his were some of the best scenes. This whole show is starting to feel so historical fantasy-ish because the aesthetics are so confused. Granted it’s still pretty (not eyesore like Reign) but it doesn’t penetrate.

I am as always invested in the Poles (and More) but am also starting to get attached to Princess Mary whose actress exudes plenty of charm. This show remains confused with its feminist message because while it shows women being proactive there is so much emphasis on babies that what remains with the mind after watching is this womanish birthdrama, as opposed to a show about struggles which affect both genders.

You might tut at me and say I’m being ridiculous and that it is historically accurate to put so much emphasis on women’s babies and I say that’s swell. I would happily watch a show where that element is strong (most pre 1995 historical dramas are like that with traditionally feminine characters and I gulp them up like sustenance), but if a show promises feminism and women-men being partners I want it to deliver that properly. As I said in my previous post, why do we keep trying to make women engage in acts like war as if such an abhorrent act is the only way to take them seriously? I await the day where cunning, rationality and cool-headedness will be the traits portrayed as feminist ones.

There is nothing else to really comment on... the only potentially deeper message in this is the gender discourse. I am unsure about the accuracy so I can’t speak of the historical value of the interpretation. But what I will say is that though I remain excited for each new episode... I’m just not as invested as I was in TWQ (rewatch every year dont @ me) or TWP despite their many flaws. Some characters pull me in eg Maggie Pole (Carmichael is a bae), Thomas More etc but not the whole cast like TWQ. Anyway... would be interesting to see if anything happens with Lina and Oviedo tommorow as their storyline is conspicuously slow.

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 15

death awaits!

oh god the cover. I aint ready 

the cover of overlords open mouth w/rodimus floating inside or w/e,,,,the overlord mouth fixation continues i see

and of COURSE its by nick roche. of course

oh god the tension and dread in the first page, as we get overlords sinister promise to murder everyone, starting with rewind, and then seeing chromedome rush over to open the door, and knowing that 30 minutes have passed already...

that full page spread of everyone vs overlord is amazing

also I always thought that ambulon was trying to kick overlord but now that I look closer he’s actually jumping away from overlord, having just crashed one of those hover...thingys....into him...which is honestly cool as hell. also I'm never over the fact that ambulon kinda looks like he’s smiling here, just having a grand ole time as overlord tries his best to murder everyone

and chromedome just seeing this and saying ‘rewind?’ is fucking killing me thanks

PIPES NO DONT DO THIS. YOURE JUST RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND. PLEASE don't talk about how much fun you're having on your wacky space adventure oh god, that’s just asking to be murdered,

GOD AND THERE HE GOES, DRIVING TO HIS DOOM. PIPES NO

AUGHHHHHHHHHH AND THERES OVERLORD WITH HIS GIANT FOOT. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

PIIIIIPES ;_; 

his messed up goodbye thoughts are brutal...plus the final shot of him laying all busted up....god :( 

that guy seriously had some awful luck this trip. rip lil guy

BUT he sounded the alarm!!! so good for him!! that's a pretty amazing final act right there

oh my god I forgot abt this scene where rewind is like ‘so brainstorm why is my husband saying your name in his sleep :))))’ and brainstorm is like ‘haha idk its certainly not because we’re working on a secret project together, so jot that down!’ lmao brainstorm....

also dw rewind brainstorm is not fucking ur husband, just look at his evidentially extensive collection of perceptor-style microscopes...my man is microscopesexual 

I forgot abt the metabomb omfg

‘some of my favorite words are monosyllabic’ rodimus ily, himbo of my heart,

fort max :( rung :( 

oughhghghg I forgot abt the scene of tailgate making cyclonus a new horn ;_; and then cyclonus materializes menacingly bc tg dared to volunteer their room for movie night hvbfshdjkfbaskj cyclonus anti-social icon

AUGHHHH GOD THE PANEL OF RATCHET TALKING ON THE COMMS AND OVERLORD IS JUST, RIGHT BEHIND HIM, WITH HIS BIG STUPID LIPS, OH MY GOD

what the fuck, is drift a flying car??? hello??? what the hell????

seriously he’s got like, rockets and shit, what the fuck

anyways, the entire exchange b/w ratchet and drift here kills me, for multiple reasons.... ‘my faith and my sword’ lmao love it. and then ratchet refusing to leave drift and calling him his friend ;_; aughhh

rodimus w/the squad like ‘lets go gays!!!’ 

also I guess cosmos WAS on the lost light lol, totally didn't remember that, I'm guessing he left at some point to go be in the other series lmao 

I'm sorry but ‘amazing. you speak entirely in name’ is so fucking funny, but also like stfu overlord you're not allowed to be funny

MAGNUSSSSSSSS

now I'm confusing myself lmao, rodimus DID know abt overlord, didn't he??? wasn't that the whole thing???? I don't remember if he was involved w/the whole mnemosurgery plan but he at least knew that overlord was there...but we haven't been told that in-story yet so now I'm questioning that lmao

oh god I forgot that overlord almost kills magnus, jeeeeesus. good thing he’s a russian nesting doll otherwise he probably would've died fr 

also damn that's gotta be scary for everyone else, bc magnus is The Big Guy, and a renown fighter...plus drift got all fucked up...yall are in for a bad time 

tailgate gettin his panic on I see

swerve w/the meta narration lmao 

cyclonus ily sm.......

rodimus charging at overlord....ohhh my boy not your best idea

cd and rewind both saying ‘I thought you were dead!’ HHHHHHHH I'm destroyed fuck it all

rodimus (inadvertently) saving the day by saying ‘til all are one’...iconic!!

FORT MAX IS HEREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

drift just casually chillin w/no legs

chromedome going into extreme detail about all the mnemosurgery he’s been doing on overlord for WEEKS while rewind is Right There....my dude.

this issue has a LOT of completely white backgrounds but I cant even rlly blame milne bc this seems like more drawing work than usual

oh god cd don't say ‘we’ll finish this conversation later’ at a time like this, that’s never a good idea,

rewind no don't do it :( :( :( 

that panel of cd’s arm getting cut off...AUGHHH

GODDDDDDD IM FUCKING CRYING. AUGHHHHHHHHHHH I.....

so incredibly fucked that cd does what’s best for rewind by blowing the pod up....hhhhh god 

and then that last panel of cd laying on the ground....fucking destroy me!!!!!!!!

also I love that at the beginning of the issue we see whirl with the missile launcher thing, and that’s what cd uses at the end here....good bookends. jro is really great about putting stuff in the story that just seems like innocuous filler/fun character building but turns out to ALSO be plot relevant later

HOLY SHIT I forgot about the cast page with the big red X’s thru the dead people’s profiles....jesus christ 

AUGH this issue was a rollercoaster, phew...and the emotionally devastating conclusion to this arc is still yet to come! 

I will say that it’s super interesting looking back on this, in the sense that rewind & chromedome are introduced as the first ever gay tf couple, and a few issues after we get told this explicitly, rewind is killed. this doesn't really end up being an issue representation-wise bc literally everyone is gay and there are a bunch of other significant gay characters/relationships later on, AND rewind comes back later 

but still! it’s interesting to think about how, at the time this came out, the phrase/concept ‘bury your gays’ wasn't really something that was talked about a lot (or like, it was, but not as often as nowadays, and not really under the term ‘bury your gays’ iirc), but at the time of publication this would have fallen under that trope (though rewind coming back later negates it imo). I think it would've been tough for this story to come out nowadays due to the backlash that would've occurred from rewind’s initial death (it also makes me wonder if there was any backlash when this DID come out) 

to be clear, this isn't a writing criticism - in fact, the reason this is able to work at all is because of the crazy amount of representation mtmte has. it’s like, youre able to kill off gay characters without it being ‘bury your gays’ if literally all your characters are gay by default, and there are a bunch of significant gay relationships happening - technically speaking, any death in mtmte is bury your gays lmao 

this is a completely disjointed rant but my point is like, if this issue came out in 2020 people would probably be pretty put off by rewind dying (understandably), but in the context of the series as a whole I don't consider this to be bad writing/bad representation/bury your gays 

and like, WERE people really mad about this in 2013? I am curious now, bc I would definitely feel kinda betrayed if I didn't know all the stuff that happens later 

but its pretty nice, because now I'm free to enjoy the writing and be emotionally devastated by rewinds death in a normal way, and not a ‘I'm angry at the writers for killing off one of the only gay characters’ kinda way

anyways I'm tired as hell so I'm going to bed, ill continue the emotional devastation later, phew

[lilithpooped]

A Good Night’s Sleep - Kim Hongjoong

Requested : Yes (by Anon)

Genre: I think it’s fluff

A/N: I’m so sorry that it took me this long to write, I’ve been trying to deal with uni and stuff...... I’m not sure if this is what you wanted but if you don’t like it please tell me so I can write something new with the same theme, I hope you like it but I’m always open to criticism so feel free to tell me if you don’t like it.

You stared at the groupchat, annoyed at how your friends didn’t even mention calling you too and now they were sharing with you the pictures of the party which you weren’t invited.

‘Omg, you wouldn’t believe how drunk we got. They say at some point i was screaming thinking that i was singing a song I. DONT. EVEN. REMEMBER.’

‘She just got crazy it was so freaking funny lmao’

‘Lol you two both were crazy, I had to drive you home and I wasn’t even the designated driver’

You kept looking down at the screen, thinking so many things at once. 

First, they didn’t invite you. Second, like this wasn’t annoying enough, they kept talking about that party all day long the next day. Third, now they were sending pictures where you could see the crazy fun they had. 

Were you not fun to be around? Did they not want you? Were you being such a burden that they didn’t even think about how hurt you would be when they shared those pics? Were they sick of you that much? 

Well, it hurt. Looking at that groupchat hurt. Seeing their smiley faces and knowing you weren’t wanted or invited there hurt. 

And the fact that they were your last remaining friends hurt.

You locked the screen of your phone and tried to watch TV for a while untill the clock hits 8pm and Hongjoong, your boyfriend, comes to your place just like how you agreed on yesterday. TV was full of stupid stuff. Like always. You tried to take a nap. Didn’t work. You brought some snacks from the kitchen and tried to read your book. Didn’t work. At last you decided on preparing tonight’s dinner yourself. You and Hongjoong were actually planning on ordering pizza and watching a movie but considering how bored you were, you thought it would be best for you to bake the pizzas yourself. And while preparing the meal you could also create a romantic but light ambiance so that this night can get a bit better. You looked at the clock, it was about 7pm so you approximately had an hour to prepare which was a bit short but you believed you could make it. 

Rolling up your sleeves, you started preparing the pizzas, singing songs to distract yourself from thinking about your friends. You prepared the dough, prepared the toppings, put Hongjoong’s favorite toppings on one pizza and your favorite ones on the other, which were quiet different from each other. Putting both of them in the oven, you looked at the time again.

7.43pm

Hongjoong was always a punctual man. He always was on time no matter the importance of the meeting. So that meant you had only 17minutes left till you could get ready yourself and the dinner table. You pulled out the yellow lights and hung them on the wall, turning the switch on and turning the room’s own lights off. You prepared the movie you decided on watching and then went to your room, Put on his favorite jean of yours, a shirt which was quiet revealing from front. You almost literally burried yourself in the perfume knowing that he loved smelling that scent on you, let your hair down and looked at the mirror. This was a half romantic look, with applying some mascara on you finished preparing yourself and ran to the kitchen, remembering the pizzas in the oven. 

You were about to turn the oven off when your phone lit up with the name you wanted to see the most.

“Hiiiiiiii!!” You answered cheerfully. It’s been almost a week since you’ve last seen Hongjoong so saying that you only have missed him would be an understatement. You literally needed his existence. You needed him to bring you out of your own negativity capsule which was set by your own thoughts and your friends’ doings.

“Hi baby,” You could hear his smile through his voice “how are you?”

“I’m fine, I have a surprise for you when you come here.” You were excited, so much that your heart literally jumped even when you thought about seeing him in 10 minutes.

“When I come there?” His voice raised half a note like he was surprised “Aaaah,, we were gonna watch movies and stuff right! Baby I’m so sorry I completely forgot about that!” 

“What do you mean you forgot?”

“You know I’ve been working on a song for a while, I was gonna finish that song tonight.. I’m so sorry I totally forgot that we were gonna meet tonight.” 

You honestly would be okay with it any other day. But not today. First your friends not caring about your presence, now your boyfriend completely forgetting about you.. And to be honest, he didn’t even sound that baffled or sad when he remembered your plans for tonight. He sounded just... Normal? 

“So you’re not coming?” You asked in a cold tone, trying not to make it obvious that tears started to form in your eyes.

“Baby, I would love to come, I missed you so much but I don’t think I can make it tonight. I have to finish this one -“ Regret starting to show it’s existence in his voice.

“Okay.” 

“Y/n, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to forget it.”

“I said it’s okay, Hongjoong.” You said matter of factly. Like it didn’t mean anything to you.

“I’ll try to finish it as soon as possible, maybe I could make time for you.”

“No need.”

“Baby, are we okay? I’m really sorry I really didn’t mean to forget about it. I was just, too tired. I promise I’ll make it up to you. Are we okay?”

“Yes.” 

Of course you were okay. This was not a big deal, not big enough to harm your relationship at least. But it was big enough to make you feel bitter. 

“I love you.” He said, he sounded sad this time.

“I love you too.” An answer, given silently without any emotions involved.

“Look, I should hang up now. Guys are coming. But I love you and I’ll try to be there asap, okay?”

“Hm hm.”

“I love you.”

“Me too.”

“See you.”

“See you.”

You hung up.

So he was not coming. Your friends was probably at another party, having fun without you, your boyfriend forgot about you,, were you really okay with all of this? The room which you prepared with so much anticipation now seemed cold and sad. Your clothes, hair, makeup,, all gone to waste. Two pizzas? To the trash can. You couldn’t eat both of them on your own and you didn’t feel like eating now anyways. 

You turned all the lights off, finding your way through your room using the flash of your phone. Turned on your night lamp, settled on the bed and put your phone away from you. 

At that moment, all of the feelings downed on you. The sadness and feeling of worthlessness found their way into your heart and one tear dropped from your eyes. 

“Whatever, I wanted to be alone anyways” you murmured trying to hold yourself back from crying. You were tired, not physically but emotionally. Trying to endure the feeling of not being wanted was now too much for you. You turned to your side and let the darkness drag you to a hopefully healing sleep.

——————

“Y/n.. psst.. y/n...” 

A gentle whisper woke you up from your sleep.

“Y/n... baby.... wake up, you fell asleep with your clothes on...”

You knew this voice so well, that made you open your eyes.

“Hongjoong? Why are you here?” You tried to ask but your voice came out as a whisper.

“I promised I would come as soon as possible. I’m sorry it’s 4am now and I actually didn’t wanna wake you up, I was just gonna cuddle you for a while and leave after that but you slept with your clothes on so I thought jeans would be uncomfortable to sleep in” he explained still whispering.

“It’s 4am? Why are you here, don’t you have a schedule or something?” You said as you rubbed your eyes and sat up on the bed. 

“It’s at 6, I still have 2 more hours.”

“You should’ve slept, you’ll be tired all day long.”

“It’s okay, it was not like i could sleep anyways, I felt so bad after hearing your voice drop. I wanted to make up for it.” He sat on bed.

“You didn’t have to, I’m not really mad at you. I know you’re busy. I was just.. Anyways, if you’re here for two hours then I should prepare something for you to eat, you must be hungry-“

Just as you started to get out of the bed he caught your hand and made you sit again.

“No, I’m not hungry and I don’t want anything to eat. Change your clothes and come to bed again.” 

“But you’re only here for two hours, I don’t wanna sleep.”

“You don’t have to sleep, can’t we just cuddle and talk? I missed your face.”

You looked at him in the eye and saw how true his words were. His eyes were full of stars and emotions. Smiling at his words you got out of bed, pulling him with you. Wrapping your arms around his waist first, you waited for his arms to wrap around you and he placed his face just before your neck. Taking your scent in deeply, he murmured.

“I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.”

“I’m sorry for forgetting our plan, I was just too busy.” He started rock you in his arms like you were dancing. You giggled.

“It’s okay. I wasn’t mad at you. I actually got mad at myself to be honest.”

“Why?” You felt his eyebrows moving.

“I.. meh.. let’s not talk about this.”

He straightened his back and looked at your face knowing that questioning now would give him nothing and would probably make you angry.

“Okay, tell me anytime you want.” He held your face in his hands and left a peck on your lips. 

You smiled into the peck and said

“Mkay.”

“Come on, change into your pajamas, let’s get into bed.”

“What if I do this?” You said, smiling mischievously and let your hand wander under his shirt before taking it off. He was wearing shorts so you thought leaving them on would be okay.

He giggled.

“Mmm, naughty.” He said playfully.

“You know me.” You said, not breaking the eye contact and then took off your shirt and pants. Holding his hand, you dragged him along on the bed, laying down in his embrace.

“I love it when I can feel your skin.” You said, now he was laying down on his back with your head on his shoulder.

“I know.. I missed this too.”

A silence.

Until he held your face up to look at him.

“Will you tell me?”

Knowing what he was talking about too well, you answered.

“Well, last night girls went to a party, not only I wasn’t invited but they also sent all of the photos to me and they’ve been talking about it all day long. So i kinda felt like I was a burden to them. And then I wanted to shake that feeling off so I decided to bake us pizzas, but you didn’t come and.. I don’t know, I felt left alone. It hurt but I thought if all of you can easily give up on me or forget about me then maybe it is my fault. Maybe if I hadn’t acted too distant all of you would’ve remembered or cared about me. I felt like it was my fault but it also hurt my pride I guess. I was mad at myself, I’m sorry it wasn’t your fault.” You explained slowly.

He listened and waited for you to finish your words before giving you the most emotionally intimate kiss ever and said:

“Baby, you’re not at fault. I have no idea about why your friends did what they did but I’m sure they have an explanation about it. And to my excuse; I was really so tired that all I could think about was that I wanted to finish preparing that song and then get some rest if possible. I’ve been dealing with the boys for a whole week and they’re especially hard to handle nowadays since they’re tired. I’m so sorry, I’ve been thinking about you this whole week. The only thing that could make me fall asleep was imagining your face and your smile. I’m so sorry that I caused you to think that way but it was never my intention. I love you so much, I even considered to trick the manager into thinking that I was sick and then spend the whole day with you but they wouldn’t let me be alone even if I succeeded so I had no choice but I’m so glad that I could finish the song and come here even if we have a short time.”

“Mhm”

“Mhm? Are you sleeping? I was explaining myself y/n!” He playfully protested.

“I’m not sleeping, I’m listening to you. I just.. I didn’t want you to stop talking.. I missed hearing your voice from this close.. and it’s okay really, I know how tired you are. You didn’t have to explain yourself. But just keep talking maybe?”

He smiled to himself before saying;

“Okay okay, what should I talk about?”

“ I don’t know, your future plans?” You murmured tiredly.

“Mmm. First, I want to work for as long as I can. Maybe I would go to Europe for a trip with boys? You would come too. Ah I would love it if you could come too. Maybe someday we could get married there? Maybe instead we should go and marry in Vegas first? You know, marriages in Vegas are only valid in Vegas. We could try it, it would be fun! And after that we could marry in wherever you want. I don’t think of having children for now but maybe later? And maybe we can go to a wildlife trip together for our honeymoon? But would you like it? Hmm, I don’t think so. Bahamas? Bali? Bali sounds nice. And then we could go to Venice? What do you say?” He stopped talking for a moment, only to hear you breathing.

“Are you asleep?” He whispered 

No answers.

“I love you.”

No answers.

“I should go now but there’ll be times when I won’t need to go anywhere, I promise. We’ll spend our future together. Just wait for me to finish today’s work.” He kissed your head and slowly drifted away from your arms, put on his shirt and walked through the door.

“I’ll always love you.” He murmured.

“I’ll always love you.” He heard you say right before he left the room.

[dreamingoffairys]

Teardrops & Coffee Chapter 9

Hello hello everyone! Thank you so much for your positive feedback on Chapter 8! It made me feel great after that long hiatus, and I'm super inspired for continuing this fic now ;) 

Sorry that I didn't get this chapter up as soon as I expected, I've been busy with school, my job, and with the WWTDP event (not to mention coordinating Stingue week!). So yeaah, I'm busy. Lmao. Thankfully, I've already begun working on Chapter 10, so hopefully that will be done by the end of the month!

I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's chalk full of new characters. Sting's finally going to make some more friends!

[Sidenote, kudos to @splendidlyimperfect for inspiring me to add genderfluid Freed to this fanfic!]

AO3 LINK HERE.

Sting felt like today was destined to be a shitfest no matter what actually happened.

He didn’t sleep at all the night before, so heartbroken from Rogue leaving that he couldn’t relax. It didn’t help that today was apparently club day, which meant that if you wanted to join a club, you had to go the main square on campus to check out all the booths.

Although Sting originally had been really excited for club day, now he was dreading it. Rogue would probably be there. Hell, Rogue might even be in a club he’s interested in. And if there’s one thing Sting does not want to do today, it’s talk to Rogue. In fact, he doesn’t even want to see Rogue. What the hell was that asshole’s problem anyways? Why had he took off so suddenly last night? It still infuriated him beyond belief.

In a moment of sobbing rage, Sting had blocked and deleted Rogue’s number last night. Looking back on it, that was one of the dumbest things he could’ve done, but it was too late to go back on it now. Sting is going to be Rogue free for the next few days, no matter what. He needs time to cool off at the very least before trying to confront Rogue about everything that happened.

Currently, Sting finds himself in the library after his English class, fuming over the required reading due next class. The words swim before his tired eyes, blurring together and becoming even more of a confusing mush than before. “Fucking dammit-!” Sting hisses, nearly knocking over his Cup Noodles sitting on the table beside him. “I fucking hate this! I fucking can’t-”

The sound of someone clearing his throat jolts him so much that this time, he actually does knock the noodles over. “Shit-!” Fortunately, he manages to grab them before it spills much, just splashing a bit of hot broth on his white sweatshirt. “Fucking-”

“Could you please keep it down the library, please?” the stranger says, and Sting looks up at him to send him give his best death glare. “Some of us are actually trying to study,” the guy scoffs. Sting gets a good look at him before saying anything. The man has long dirty blond hair, greenish brown eyes, a pair of thick red glasses, and is wearing a white button-down shirt.

Sting shoots him a nasty look. “Look, I was trying to study too. Mind your own business.”

The man raises an eyebrow at Sting. “You more looked like you were getting frustrated and swearing loudly. Oh, and spilling things.”

Sting fumes and slams the book shut. “I’m really not in the mood. I didn’t sleep at all last night, and I’m fighting with the person who usually helps me study.”

The man stands up and walks over to Sting’s table. “Oh. I’m sorry for being rude, then. I simply thought you were causing a disturbance.” He gestures to the book Sting’s reading. “Pride and Prejudice?”

“Unfortunately,” Sting grumbles, rolling up his sleeves to hide the yellow stain from the shitty processed broth of his early lunch. He keeps speaking without thinking, too annoyed and tired to process his thoughts before he voices them, “It’s a bunch of heterosexual nonsense.”

The man with glasses laughs and sinks into the seat besides Sting. “Slightly. But I quite enjoy it. I wrote a 10 page paper on it last semester.” He pushes his glasses up his nose. “What is your name? If I’m going to help you, we should at least be acquainted. I am Rufus Lore.”

Sting blinks, surprised by everything about this man’s reaction. “Uhhh...I’m Sting. Sting Eucliffe. I’m new here this semester, so...I’m kind of overwhelmed.”

Rufus nods and clicks his tongue, “I remember the feeling. I do not fault you for being frustrated, then. I’m assuming literature is not your strong suit?”

Sting shakes his head, “I’m majoring in Computer Sciences. Which is funny, actually, because I’m bad at math too.”

Rufus laughs softly, “A...friend of mine is majoring in Music, but his voice is terrible. No one has told him yet. I do not want to be the person to burst that bubble.”

Sting nods and sets Pride and Prejudice back down on the table. “I don’t blame you.” He cracks the book open, goes back to the page he was on, and starts to read aloud:

"His pride," said Miss Lucas, "does not offend me so much as pride often does, because there is an excuse for it. One cannot wonder that so very fine a young man…”

About an hour ticked by for Sting and Rufus, and by the end of the study session, Sting felt more level-headed and prepared for class than ever. He had two pages of notes in his composition notebook, as well as some annotations in the actual book itself. Before leaving, Rufus gave Sting his phone number so they could text back and forth if Sting had any questions. Rufus even promised that if they met up again, Rufus would bring his own, fully annotated copy with him and let Sting read through it.

Sting left the library with a grin on his face, not caring that his sweater has a stain on it or that he and Rogue aren’t talking, because he’s prepared for the English discussion. This is probably the first time in his damn life he’s felt this confident about it! He’s going to strut in there and be the most educated motherfucker in the whole room. All the boys are gonna stare at him in awe, and all the girls are gonna be envious of his rad analyzing skills. Fuck yeah, he’s gonna show them!

That excellent mood is immediately shattered by the sight of far too many booths all spread out in front of the library. Shit. He’d almost forgotten about club day! Sting checks his reflection in his phone camera and grimaces. He looks like total shit, dark circles and all, with his hair an ungelled disaster crammed into a dirty beanie. Not only that, his sweater looks stupid rolled up at the sleeves like this, and the skinny jeans he’s wearing weren’t originally supposed to be ripped. Oh well. He was going to have to wing it.

He walks out into the crowd, having to push past quite a few overly enthusiastic sorority girls. One of them has long white hair and smiles at Sting kindly when he moves by, and she’s the only one who doesn’t make him extremely uncomfortable. The others stare at him as he passes, and he feels like he’s at high school all over again being ogled by the cheerleaders as a target either to flirt with or to criticize.

Once he manages to squeeze through, he takes a look around at the booths. He sees a sign reading “Improv Club” in sparkly letters with the two drama masks on it, and behind the booth is a familiar redhead and blue haired man with a tattoo on his face. Beside them stands an orange haired man with glasses, who is talking to a girl while clearly flirting with her. Nooo thanks.

Next he sees the Earth Club, a group of students with green t-shirts tending to little plants, talking passionately to bystanders about recycling, or handing out pamphlets about water conservation. Sting spots Yukino next to a girl in overalls with braided pigtails and smiles at her awkwardly. To his surprise, Yukino smiles and waves back, clearly unaware of the drama going on between Rogue and Sting.

Sting’s eyes skim over the signs for some other clubs...Dance Club, Chess Club (it’s there he spots Rufus), Debate Club, Video Game Club (where Natsu is hard to miss, screaming at some heavy-set man about cheating), and Acapella Club.

Finally, Sting spots the club he came here to join: the LGBT+ club. But before he can walk over there and introduce himself, a voice echoes through the speakers set up in the grass. “Hi everyone! My name is Jenny Realight, and I’m your Student Body President for this semester! And this here is Hibiki Lates, my amazing Vice President.”

Sting sighs with annoyance and glances up at where the two of them are standing. Jenny Realight looks like a stereotypical sorority girl like you see in the movies: sorority shirt, tight jean shorts that show off her legs, long blond hair curled perfectly, and makeup that’s visible from here. Beside her stands Hibiki Lates, a slender young man with “handsomely messy” hair and a dazzling smile. They both made Sting feel even more pissed off than he already was. They were the kind of people he’d prefer not to associate with.

And so, he walks across the way towards the people he did want to associate with. There are people behind the booth, all sporting various pride pins and sitting in folding chairs. On the far left is a brown-haired woman with a bisexual pin wearing a crop top and maroon jeans, her sandaled feet up on the table, drinking out of a matte dark blue water bottle. In the center is just an empty chair, but Sting sees a white jacket draped over the back. On the right is a person with long green hair wearing a red jacket with a genderfluid pin and a gay pin. Sting already felt very welcomed.

“Err...hi, my name’s Sting Eucliffe, I’m new here…” He bites his lip nervously, then carries on. “And I’m uhm, I’m gay, and I was wondering if I could join the club.”

“Obviously,” the brown-haired girl grins lazily and hiccups, and it’s then that Sting realizes that water bottle definitely contains something stronger than water. “I’m Cana, and this is Freed. Hold on one sec, I’ll call Lyon over to get you signed up.” She takes a huge swig from her water bottle, hiccups, then turns her head and shouts over her shoulder, “OI! LYON! GET YOUR GAY ASS OVER HERE, WE GOT SOMEONE WANTING TO JOIN!”

The green-haired person (Freed?) smiles kindly at Sting. “Thank you for considering joining. We’re always happy to have new members.”

Sting grins and rubs the back of his neck. “Thanks. Uhm...sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but ah...your pronouns?”

“Oh!” Freed sits up a little taller, looking proud, smiling wider. “That’s not rude at all! In fact, I appreciate your consideration. They/them, please.”

Sting nods, mentally filing that way. “Okay, gotcha. They/them. Easy enough to remember.” He flashes Freed a shy smile, and they beam back at him.

“Ahem!”

Sting’s head snaps up at the sound of someone clearing their throat, then does a double take. The man standing above him was perhaps one of the most...eccentric...people he’s met so far. His hair, dyed bright white, has so much gel in it Sting swears he can see it shine in the sunlight even from under the cover of the booth. The man’s eyes are lined with black eyeliner, and he has a bit of white glitter on his eyelids. The top he wears is a black cropped sweater with light blue writing on it that says DRAMA QUEEN in big bold letters with a crown on the “Q”. A pansexual pride pin sits right over his heart, attached to the “shirt” (if you could even call it that). His pants are tight light-washed skinny jeans, and he tops off the look with a white belt with a sparkly buckle. Sting feels like he’s just walked into a gay bar and met one of the strippers.

The man shoots Sting a smug smile, then extends a hand. “Hello! I’m Lyon Vastia, I’m the Vice President of the LGBT+ club. Oh, and I’m also a member of the Improv Club, which you should join as well, we could always use new members.” He eyes Sting for a moment, the smirk widening. “I have a feeling you’d fit right in.”

Is he...flirting with me?! Sting screams mentally, feeling like he’s falling into some alternate dimension. He’s too stunned to shake Lyon’s hand, simply staring at the man in front of him in embarrassment.

Cana rolls her eyes and leans back further in her chair. “Lyon, chill. You’re scaring the poor kid shitless.”

Lyon sighs and passes Sting a sign-up sheet on a clipboard. “I’m simply trying to be a good host, Cana, because one of us has to.” He quirks an eyebrow in the direction of Cana’s “water” bottle, then clears his throat again and turns back to Sting. “If you sign and put your phone number down here, we’ll contact you about all club events. We meet every Wednesday at 3pm in Professor Bob’s classroom, our first meeting is next week.”

Sting takes the clipboard and the pen. There are four columns on the page, each with a question. What is your name? What is your phone number? What are your preferred pronouns? Are you out or closeted?*

Sting follows the page to the asterisk, finding a small note that says We simply ask this because we may sometimes do on-campus events, and if you are not out yet or are uncomfortable in participating in pride events, we won’t put you on the sign up list for responsibilities for set-up, etc.

Sting smiles at how considerate this is, then scans the list of names. Is Rogue…?

Returning Members:

Lyon Vastia (he/him), out.

Cana Alberona (she/her), out.

Freed Justine (they/them), out.

Meredy Fernandez (she/her), out.

Juvia Lockser (she/her), kind of…

Hibiki Lates (he/him), out.

Sting pauses for a second, blinking at that last name. Wasn’t that the guy from Student Government? Sting suddenly felt bad for prejudging him.

New Members:

Lisanna Strauss (she/her or they/them), out.

Flare Corona (she/her), out.

Kagura Mikasuki (she/her), closeted.

Eve Tearm (he/him), closeted.

Sting lets out a sigh at the lack of Rogue’s name, then realizes he has no idea if it was a sigh of relief or a sigh of disappointment. Pushing away his confusing feelings, he answers the questions: Sting Eucliffe, his phone number, he/him, and I’m out & proud.

He hands the clipboard back to Lyon and finally manages a smile again. “Thank you. I can’t wait for the first meeting. I wish I’d had this opportunity back in high school, I haven’t had enough queer friends throughout my life.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Cana tips back more liquid from her water bottle. “I’ll drink to that.”

Freed looks at Sting supportively. “Well, you’ve come to the right place. That’s why we’re here, to provide a safe space, spread awareness, and to help LGBT+ students meet other people like them.”

“All great goals.” Sting adjusts his beanie nervously, feeling his anxiety kick in just a bit. Do these people actually like me…? What if after the first meaning they decide they don’t want me there anymore…? “Well, um, thanks for helping me out...I should get going now, I’ve got homework to do.”

“Wait, Sting, before you leave,” Lyon holds out a hand, and Sting turns to look at him. “You’re a freshman, right?”

Sting nods, “Yeah, I’m totally new...only my second week here.”

Lyon shoots him a smile. “Then you probably haven’t been to a party yet, have you?”

“Oh shit!” Cana exclaims, her chair landing back on all fours with a thunk . “Yeah! This guy named Orga throws fucking awesome ragers, and most of the people at his parties are either queer or just hella chill with everything. If you wanna meet more LGBT+ people, you should totally come.”

Freed nods, “They are a great way to relieve some stress.”

“There’s one tomorrow night,” Lyon folds his arms across his chest. “Orga’s brother has a fairly big flat like 5 minutes from the campus, he lets everyone come over and party. If you want to come, we can meet out by the front sign?”

“Look,” Sting holds his hands up, “I appreciate the offer, but like, I’m not really interested in you-”

Lyon snorts. “I got that part. I was just teasing you. I’m inviting you as a friend. Think of me as your mentor in the college life of an LGBT+ person.” He moves his hands to his hips, smirking proudly. “I’m taking you under my wing.”

Cana laughs into her water bottle, “Pffft, please don’t. Remember what happened last time?”

Lyon sighs dramatically, “Oh, you bitch, it wasn’t even my fault. Why’d you have to bring that up?”

“Um-” Sting stammers out, starting to feel overwhelmed and anxious. “I’ll think about it! Um, you have my number on the sheet, ah, text me when you’re at the sign and...and I’ll let you know if I’m coming or not. Thanks!”

Not wanting to be there any longer, Sting takes off through the square towards the dorm rooms, wanting nothing more than to collapse into bed and watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine until he passed out. To his relief, he makes it there without running into anyone he knows, and immediately strips down to his boxers and socks and face-plants onto his bed. He jams his earbuds into his ears and pulls up Netflix, finally feeling relaxed with his stomach full of budget ramen and his body resting on the comfort of his favorite blankets.

He’s getting better, very slowly, day by day. His anxiety is something he pretends doesn’t exist, but the more it resurfaces, the more he realizes that repressing it only makes it worse. Now that he’s acknowledged it, he can tell when he needs a break from social interaction like this. The best thing to do is to detox by being naked (or mostly naked, since he had a roommate and he didn’t want Laxus to walk in and see his bare ass sticking out) and making himself laugh.

After a few episodes, his phone buzzes with a text message. For a split second Sting forgets that he blocked Rogue’s number and feels a spike of both anxiety and excitement, hurriedly clicking on the banner without even reading it. Instead, the message is a notification saying he’s been added to the group “Magnolia University LGBT+ Club”.

Both relieved and disappointed at the same time, Sting dumps his phone onto his nightstand amongst the food wrappers and Coke cans, and then buries his face into his pillow and lets sleep overtake him.

[felixeslee]

92 q tag

hello this tag is highkey irrelevant now but it’s been in my drafts for ages so !! laskdgjasodigjsaldkgasodigjasdg which is why i wont b tagging anyone bc im so late but !! yeah !! ok !! !!!!!!!!!1111!!! lets !! go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

tagged by @hyuunjins @hyunjinh @straykiz and @dae-hwee from my w1 blog (lmaoo hi pindi this is sarah!! AIddgsdfk if youre aware of this blog but hope its ok if i do it here alskdg ) 

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 

🌙 LAST

Drink: the water that I drank this morning!! Aka around 12 hrs ago asdgasdgoij pls stay hydrated kids 

Text Message: i texted my brother if he knew where my dad was lol,,,,,,, sldkjgaosidgj 

Phone Call: CALLED MY BROTHER BC HE WASNT RESPONDING MY TEXTS,,,,, he also didn’t pick up ldskgjsoidgjsldkgsjdg

Song you listened to: Goodbye My Love by Aileeeee <3 lovv 

Time you cried: TODAY ,,,, i was getting super anxious bc i didn’t know where my dad was ??? he was supposed to pick me up but he forgot abt me until like an hr later… sldkgjaosidgj 

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no :00 lmao i’ve never dated… ever alskdjgaoijsdf 

Kissed someone and regretted it: i havent had my first kiss yet HEH 

Lost someone special: unfortunately, yes :( 

Been depressed: sdgksjadoiglskdfosdijgalskdfaosdigjaksdgoaisdjf idk 

Been drunk and thrown up: lmao i’ve never drank ,,, at all,,,, the smell of alchohol scares me,,,,, evn my little brother has had a sip once and he’s 5 yrs younger LMAO ,,, but im a noob and don’t wanna try sldkgjosidjgs 

🌙 IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yay yes yeslgkdgsdf

Fallen out of love: i dont think i’ve ever evn been in love…. Sdlgksjdoigj 

Met someone who changed you: yes,,,,,,,,, 

Found out who your true friends are: uhhhh idk aslkdgjaosidjf i honestly can never tell when someone’s being a fake friend so!!!!!! Idk honestly lmao

Found out someone was talking about you: i did ! but it wasn’t for anything bad or anything……… they just criticized me behind my back?? But i agreed w their criticism so alsdkjgaosidgj  

🌙 GENERAL

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: ummm,,,, like 4?? We r mutuals evn though none of them r actually kpop blogs,,,, so i always feel guilty spamminig their aesthetic feed w my screaming tags and annoying shit LMAO but i lov them <3 

Do you have any pets?: NO :”( I WANT A DOGGO THO …. REALLY BAD…..

Do you want to change your name?: uhhh ik so many sarahs its not evn funny and my last name is hella basic too????? Theres 3 ppl that share my first+last name in my school alone….. So maybe i’d change it to my chinese name (yue) ?? also bc it sounds more sophisticated,, and i lov anything that makes me sound smarter than the reality of my dumb self LOL 

What time did you wake up this morning: LOL so my alarm rings at 6:40 but i get out of bed at 7:10 SLDGKJSODIF … and i need to get out of the house by 7:20 lsdkgsdoig 

What were you doing last night: physics and apush :SLDGJOSIDFJ the 2 most dreaded classes UGH

Something you cannot wait for: DINNER .. i love me some gud dinner

Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: thomas jefferson my mAN 

What’s getting on your nerves right now: when it’s so heckin cold i can’t concentrate + i hate taking notes when it’s cold??? Bc then my hands r like half numb and it HURTS WHEN I TAKE NOTES sldkgsoidjf ALSO WHEN I DRAW ,,,,, STIFF FINGERS R THE WORST WHEN DRAWING

Blood type: i think a????????????

Nickname: my most common ones r swisso + salad (i promise these make sense in context LOL ) 

Relationship status: return NullPointerException; //im a cs person,,, dont judge

Zodiac sign: capricorn!

Pronouns: she + her

Favorite show: i dont watch many shows but i love watching a gud studio ghibli movie when im feelin down

College: this QUESTION LSDKGJSODIGJ ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanna go to college but will any accept me ??!?!

Hair colour: its naturally black but it’s currently dyed ombre from black → brown !!!!!!

Do you have a crush on someone: i havent had a legit crush in 3 yrs lmao……. 

What do you like about yourself: the fact that im a deep sleeper. Idk how light sleepers function omg like wouldn’t u wake up to like,,,,, everything??! :((( that makes me sad bc u hav no idea how much i lov a nice long undisturbed slumber

   🌙 FIRSTS

First surgery: okAY so like i've had 2 procedures done on my eyes lmaooo like (1) when i was a smol beb of like 1 yr old i rolled off my bed aaaannnnddd the corner of my eye hit the edge of the sharp corner of the bedside table!!! and then y1ke$ things got ugly loll (((yes, i wuz dum + clumsy since the day i popped from the womb))) its all stitched up now and i hav a tinie tinie scar aslkdgs okay and (2) there was something weird abt my tearducts LOL so u know when u get sad nd stuff ur nose gets runny and u sniff a lot??? well like that wasn't the case for me bc the passage way from my eyes to my nose was completely blocked off,,,,, which resulted in me lookin like i was full blown cryin like every 2 seconds... like if i kept my eyes open for too long my eyes would get watery and tears would flow out LMAO ,,,, i looked like i just never stopped crying,,, but it was just my eyes were just ALWAYS WATERING sdlgjsdif damn u have no idea after the procedure i was like 'do ppl live like this??? not having to wipe tears every 0.2 sec??? oh my god,,, i am livin THE LIFE' 

First piercing: i hav no piercings!!! Bc stabbing holes thru myself scares me sdlkjgsoidg but i love the way earrings look tho so :///// 

First sport you joined: dance or gymnastics???? I dont rly remember

First vacation: CHINA prob???? 

First pair of sneakers: i think sketchers LMAO ,,, the big thing  

🌙 RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing!!!!!

I’m about to: do som sketches for my AP art class 

Listening to: my dad sing som old chinese folk stuff behind me LOL 

Want kids: i already adopted all 9 members of stray kids tho ??? idk if im ready for more atm 

Get married: LOL This question just reminded me of smol story from my childhood: so like i used to b rly close w these 3 other kids,,,, one other girl and 2 guys,,, and our parents were all rly tight too,, and our four families would just go camping together and it was rly :’’D fun and so we all made a pact that I would marry one of the guys and the other girl would marry the other guy and we’d all go camping together forever but then KINDERGARTEN HIT,,,, we moved schools and yeah im still rly close w the girl but i miss the 4 of us dkgjsodigjsdlkgsdf LOL 

Career: waterbottle 🌙 

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes? Eh idk i just never rly considered lips ?? LOL 

Hugs or kisses: hugs? I dont hav experience w kisses so sldkgjsoidgjsd yike syikes yikes 

Shorter or taller: TALLER

Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhhhh neither??? Like i just want someone playful + extroverted bc im quite introverted,,,,,,,,,, so if he was hesitant we’d just b super awkward and quiet,,, and i don’t like getting involved w sketchy troublemaker shit either LOL ,,, 

Older or younger: as long as they r in the same school grade level,,,, and i guess 1-2 yrs older is okaY? But lowkey freaks me out if too old 

Romantic or spontaneous: sldkgjsoidfj both? Like i lov someone who is unpredictable and spontaneous,,,, but on the other hand im lowkey a helpless romantic lasdkgjaoisdjf 

Sensitive or loud: both i guess too??? Its good to have someone understanding and sensitive but also someone who knows how to have fun  :) 

Hookup or relationship: hookups,,,,,,,, just dont make sense to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i get attached to someone p easily so even if i dont plan on being attached,,,, i’d probably get attached :(  

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: YIKES no 

Drank hard liquor: nO 

 Lost contacts/glasses: UH I HATE THIS BUT YES….. 

Sex on first date: yikes * (6.02 *10^23) adkgaosidjgaslkdf no thaNK you 

Broken someone’s heart: i dont know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i might’ve but maybe im just not aware ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but on a sidenote i think my old comupter science teacher gets a migrain everytime he sees me LOLLLLLL sdlgjsoidgjsldf 

Been arrested: no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :0 

Turned someone down: yeah lmao i kinda feel bad tho bc they were all good ppl,,,,  lskjgosidjf but thankfully im still good friends and pretty tight w all of them ~  

🌙 DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: ocassionally i try to :’’D

Miracles: lol yes 

Love at first sight: i used to ? but not anymore,,,, like i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight ?? but i feel like love cannot be attained thru visual contact only asldgjoasidjalsdg

[surveysonfleek]

518.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 28

2601. Do you think cell phones cause cancer? apparently everything causes cancer these days. i don’t know anyone personally who doesn’t have a cell phone, would that mean the chances of getting cancer at at its highest? Are cell phone users more likely to get into car accidents? while using the phone while driving, yes. Do cell phones really interfere with a plane's navigation equipment? apparently so. Are cell phones immune from computer viruses? i don’t think so? Can using a cell phone at a gas station spark a fire? apparently. geez, five questions within one question. cool.

2602. What makes a guy see a chick as less of a cute little girl and more of a woman? i guess if they look older? 2603. What is it about football that makes people want to watch it? the passion, the atmosphere and the game itself? i hate football though lmao. 2604. What is the best show on tv? tbh i think it’s the office.  2605. Are you more of a tape dispenser or a stereo speaker and why? i’m... not sure. 2606. What do you think is overrated? instagram models and most youtubers. What is underrated? people out there trying to make a difference in the world. 2607. Can spiders ump? huh? Did you interpret that as 'jump' or 'hump or 'bump' or other? jump. 2608. What's the matter with adults today? we’re too reliant on technology. 2609. Have you ever worked 'off the books'? no...? 2610. Have you ever worked 9-5? i have before. If not do you think you ever will? i don’t right now, but i’d love to have a normal working schedule like that. i hate working nights. 2611. Do men or woman make better bosses? it honestly just depends on the person. 2612. Do you believe that people should more up through a company or that the higher up positions should be filled by people hired from outseide the company? i think people should be offered to move up in their company since they’re more likely experienced with the ‘smaller’ things. 2613. Why is it that no one seems to care about their job? it’s just a grind, need to work to live, right? 2614. When I go into a store, why doesn't anyone know anything about what they are selling? that just means their training wasn’t in depth enough. 2615. Have you ever seen those people that get that blank, lost expression when they go into a store and kinda shuffle along like zombies? not really? Do you wonder how they got up, dressed themselves, and made it to the store in the first place? ... 2616. When did you/will you graduate college? i graduated in 2013. 2617. When will Eminem stop whining about his bad childhood and move on?? i haven’t heard him whine about that in a long time. 2618. I am drug free. Are you drug free? yes. 2619. I have piercings and am getting tattoos. Do you have either? i have my ears and nose pierced. no desire to get tatts. 2620. Can you REALLY say that your way is the right way? sometimes. Maybe there is a different way for everyone? sure. 2621. What do you think of the song 'Imagine'? it’s soothing and thought provoking. 2622. Can you think of any reason i might have written this, other than I am bored with too much time on my hands? no idea. 2623. What is the purpose of art? i guess to get our visual senses running. How about movies? Music? 2624. Do you think that anything has lost its value because it's become too 'commercial'? What? instagram. before it was just a way to share photos but now it’s a popularity contest. 2625. Have you ever been promoted? no actually lol. fired? not really, more like ‘let go’. they didn’t need me anymore coz their business was failing. 2626. What do you call your private area? Does it have a nickname? vag. and no. 2627. What parts of your body are shaved? armpits, legs and down there. 2628. What is a peachclam? female genitals? 2629. What is the american dream? being successful in america. Is it the same as your dream? no, i don’t like there. 2630. Do you need to be right all the time? no. 2631. There was a sculpture that was supposed to be displayed for a week in the Rockafeller Center in NYC of a falling woman - designed as a memorial to those who jumped or fell to their death from the World Trade Center. It was complained about as grotesque, innopropriate and describe as 'not art' What do you think? 9/11 is still a very sensitive topic, i believe it could be considered art but the negative way it’ll make people feel overpowers its artistic message. It was taken down early because it was seen as 'offensive'. What do you think about that? that totally fair enough. The artist, Fischl, said in a statement. ``It was a sincere expression of deepest sympathy for the vulnerability of the human condition. Both specifically towards the victims of Sept. 11 and towards humanity in general.'' Are people just too sensitive? Or maybe people are NOT sensitive ENOUGH to the idea that others may have different views from them (or from the majority)? i can see it from both ways. She these different, opposing or offensive views be allowed to be expressed freely and openly? Why or why not? i think it’s best if it were in an art gallery instead. more like-minded people would visit it and appreciate it how the artist wanted it to be portrated. 2632. What letter's sound do you like the best? i’ve... never thought about that. 2633. What is one movie charater you identify with and why? none really. 2634. Do you act the same when you are alone as you do when people are watching? not really. 2635. Why is everyone so obssessed with superheros? i don’t knowww. 2636. What cliches do you hear over-used the most? meh. 2637. Do you handle inconvieniences well? not really. i’ll most likely complain. 2638. Are you a fan of Jackie Chan? yeah, he’s funny, talented, charming and does his own stunts lol. 2639. Is a promise a big deal? to me, yes. i don’t take them lightly. 2640. What is your place in the universe? right here. 2641. Once some scientists dug up a woolly mamoth, frozen in ice. It was still completely whole, not rotted or fosilized. The scientists decided to have a dinner party. It was a very posh affair. they served roast woolly mamoth steaks, the rarest meat in all the world. So, if you were invited, would you have eaten it? no. 2642. What are 3 things you DON'T want to know? when im gna die, any ‘truths’ in my family that would make me think differently of them and sob stories in general. 2643. It seems to me that a lot of people don't value their lives, or life in general very highly. Why do you suppose that is? it’s just the way the world works i guess. not everyone wants to eat healthy, work out, strive to be the best person they can be etc.  Are you like that? sometimes. 2644. Do you celebrate the harvest moon? no. 2645. Do you believe in out of body experiances? possibly. 2646. Why does so much depend upon a red wheel barrel glazed with rain water beside the white chickens? ok. 2647. Why do so many people get jobs that they dislike? because it’s all about earning money. 2648. Do you think that in THIS world, being creative is a handicap? no? Why or why not? being creative is a blessing and a way to express yourself. 2649. Do you ever get chills or shivers during movies? What movies? not really. 2650. Do you believe in the collective unconsiouss(that people are like onions..the outer layers are individualistic and the deeper you go the more similar we all are)? lol haven’t thought about it that deeply. 2651. Do you think that most people have the qualities you look for in friends/intimate relationships or do you feel alienated? the people i surround myself with are enough. i’m not really looking for new friends. 2652. Are you very critical: of others? yes. of yourself? yes. 2653. Is there such a thing as expecting too much? definitely. 2654. Would you rather take an hour lunch break or skip lunch and get out of work early? ski[ lunch and get off work early, always. 2655. Do you believe that happiness is equal to fakeness? shallowness? joy? something good that happens? an attitude you have inside no matter what happens? idk. 2656. Can you control your emotions? for the most part, yes. have you ever tried? yes. 2657. Imagine you are 34 weeks pregnant. You are healthy and you didn't have any major problems in your pregnancy. Would you consider flying from the UK to Germany, which takes one hour, without a bad feeling that something could go wrong or the baby decides to come out earlier? there would have to be a really good reason that i’m flying in the first place. i usually wouldn’t risk it. 2658. How long do you think it would take you to jog a mile? forever. i’m really unfit. 2659. Word assciation: twilight: wolf. garden: gnome. warm: sun. stars: sky. crash: bandicoot. mold: bathrooms. gold: leaf. green: leaf. lush: garden. 2660. Picture a triangle: Quick! What color is it? orange. Picture a square. Quick! What color is it? blue. Picture a circle. Quick! What color is it? yellow. Why do you think you saw these shapes as these colors? idk lol. 2661. What things are endless? nothing. 2662. Are you ever subtle? i can be. 2663. Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens a certain number of times, and a very small number, really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood...some afternoon that's so deeply a part of your being that you can't conceive of your life without it? How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? How can you fully appreciate these moments, every moment, when it all seems limitless? ~Paul Bowles excerpt from The Sheltering Sky 2664. Do you never have an ordinary day? yes. 2665. Do you embrace every single thing you've never known? not everything. 2666. Has anyone ever mistaken you for a satanist? no lol. 2667. Can stress sometimes be good? if you work well under stress, then yeah. 2668. Write something random, just whatever flows out of your head without thinking. Forget punctuation just try to type as fast as you think: okay, this is getting boring.  2669. Are you a musical snob? yes. How about a film snob? no. 2670. When you were in school did you learn to think or repeat? think. 2671. Do you have everything you need to be happy? not yet. If not, what is missing? a direction. 2672. Would you take a very casualy dropped 'maybe I should just kill myself' as a warning ssign? yes, for sure. 2673. What does the word 'ironic' mean? Can you give an example of an ironic situation? no. 2674. What did you see today that was beautiful in an ordinary way? a plane flying through the sky. 2675. Have you ever been on the edge of the night? no? 2676. Do you feel oppressed in some way? no. 2677. Who do you think shot JFK? idk. Who do you think shot Martin Luthar King? idk. Why do you think they got shot? haters. 2679. Are you aware that although only about 14 percent of the american total population is black, that about 70 percent of the people in jail in america are black? Why do you think that is? a large part of it is racism, surely. a lot of the stuff in the media basically proves it. What conclusion can you draw based on this? whatever. 2678. Do you think that the culture you live in is completely open to all ideas and forms of expression? hell no. australia is one of the most narrow minded countries that’s very developed. tell me otherwise, please. 2680. What do you think of the character (muppet) on sesame street that has aids and should this kind of a theme be explored in children's television? it’s good. and yes, i feel like children should be educated on the different backgrounds and situations people in the world can be in. 2681. Are you dyslexic? no. 2682, Can you construct a bong out of: household objects? sure. an apple? sure. your cat? i dont have a cat. 2683. Starwars, star trek or star gate? none. 2684. Windows or mac? mac. 2685. Do you start conversations or wait for other people to start them? it depends who it is. 2686. How many phallac symbols can you think of? plenty. 2687. Would you but tickets to see the top ten american idols sing live? no. 2688. A bird may love a fish...but where would they live? on the shore. 2689. Are you a hologram or a misfit? none. 2690. How are you oriented sexually? straight. Do you agree with the people who say that everyone is bi-sexual even if they don't want to admit it? i think preferences are purely dependant on the person. you can’t label anyone but yourself. 2691. If you are the only human on the planet of the apes do you have sex with an ape? i don’t know. 2692. If you are making out with a sex someone and you reach down and find they have a fish tail instead of legs do you still fool around with them? no. 2693. Does superman wear kryptonite condoms? idk. 2694. Do you know exactly where you are? Do you know the meaning of it all? Do you know the distance to the sun? Do you know the echo that is love? *yawn* 2694. Do you believe you are: extraordinary? Blessed? Cursed? Won? lame lol. 2695. What are you doing this weekend? not sure yet. definitely going out on sunday night though.  2696. Do you believe that black people should get money to make up for their previous enslavement? the ones who have been freed, yes definitely. Do you believe that all oppressed people should get money to make up for their oppression? yes. 2697. What's a quagmire? that guy from family guy. 2698. Is philosophy a science or can everyone have their own philosophy? to each their own. 2699. Are you a big fish in a small pond? no. 2700. Would you like to read an entire novel written in stream of consciousness form? idk.