#I still don't know a lot about him I'm only at volume 4/caught up with the anime :')

[tesnuzzik]

I LOVE DRAWING MITHRUN SM

[orenji-iro-no-sora]

Thoughts on TGCF Vol 3

Vol 1 | Vol 2| Vol 3| Vol 4| Vol 5| Vol 6| Vol 7| Vol 8

*Spoilers*

Arc 2: Heart as gentle as a flower

I didn't talk much about the second arc in the last post because most of everything happened in the third volume and I wanted to keep it all together.

To me, this arc was the hardest to read up till now. I was wishing for it all to end which was a sentiment that took over Xie Lian as well as his confidence in what it means to do the right thing waned with the progression of Xianle-Yongan conflict. While in the beginning, he believed wholeheartedly that saving someone, doing something was still better than nothing at all, by the end of it, it was clear that much of his suffering had been futile.

It truly was a hopeless conflict, I reflected a lot on what could be done, what really is the right thing to do and in the end there were no answers. In the face of destiny, there's not much anyone can do and as the state preceptor said: when humans ascend, they're still humans. Gods are still humans, they don't know better and they can't save anyone. Only people believed that Xie Lian should be invincible. He wasn't and could never be.

I applaud MXTX for her depiction of the events as something genuinely unstoppable with so many factors that it becomes paralysing to take any decisions. Having kindness and compassion for all means that making 'necessary' sacrifices is unacceptable as there's nothing, no act in this world that's wholly beneficial, it'll harm someone or something. There's no pure goodness.

Xie Lian did his best though, all his decisions were deliberate, rooted in his virtue, kindness and his desire to save people. He walked the walk, it just didn't make any difference. He was too young to have faced it all and by the end of it, the exhaustion and the inadequacy of his powers caught up to him.

Death isn't something that is deserved/undeserved, it's not punishment that the innocents must be protected from. It simply is and that I think is the most important lesson here.

Qi Rong and the Human Face Disease

Qi Rong was a nuisance from the start. He really brings out the worst in Xie Lian (sibling effect). Out of everyone, he believed too much in Xie Lian's indestructibility and it's not shocking that he ended up hating him so, commissioning those disrespectful statues, inciting the populace to blame him for it all, burning his mother's corpse and possessing Guzi's father. Hua Cheng's hate for him makes complete sense. Xie Lian feeding him his deathly congee was hilarious though.

I didn't realise the severity of Human Face Disease when it was first mentioned in Vol 1. But arc 2 really presented it as one of the creepiest fictional diseases I've ever read. It's the most horrific manifestation of unjust death and I'm just glad it's not a real life thing.

Mu Qing, Feng Xin and The Three Tumors

Seeing the relationship the Xianle trio shared with each other, I finally understood the awkwardness in their interactions during the first volume. While Feng Xin is fairly easy to understand (loyal, faithful, straightforward), I think Mu Qing is one of the most interesting characters. He's insecure but decisive, he respects Xie Lian but also envies him. To him, the end justifies the means which is in complete contradiction to Xie Lian who wants justice at all levels. There are so many complicated emotions between them and the way they go about it is entertaining to read. I hope they can clear out the misunderstanding as we progress further in the story.

The interactions between the Heavenly Officials, especially the Three Tumors, were unexpectedly funny. Every official is multi-dimensional and has a unique personality. It really offered the much needed light-heartedness after the misery of the second arc. I also really like the Wind Master. He's friendly, even when he messes up in shielding Xie Lian from others (poor guy has bad timings). I am looking forward to how they'll deal with the Reverend.

Side note- Ming Yi focused only on the feast is so me lol.

Hua Cheng's unwavering devotion, first kiss, Ruoye vs eming

I didn't expect them to have met so many times. They really were connected throughout their lives. Out of everyone, I think he was the only one who reciprocated Xie Lian's kindness and consideration.

In my heart, you are god! You are the only god, the one true god! Do you hear me?!”

He fulfilled his promise of building the most extravagant temple for Xie Lian and celebrating him with plays and three thousand lanterns. (XL is the light of his life after all). They're so cute and they finally kissed!! Underwater too!! It was still weird though. Just as weird as Xie Lian's heat from the Land of the Tenders. I don't know what I think about it all except for it reminded me of the awkwardness of Mo Dao Zu Shi.

Another cute thing was Ruoye showing off in front of Eming as he cut vegetables for Xie Lian's poisonous soup (?). Them competing against each other and puffing out when Xie Lian praised them was the highlight for me.

[redgoldsparks]

March Reading and Reviews by Maia Kobabe

I post my reviews throughout the month on Storygraph and Goodreads, and do roundups here and on patreon. Reviews below the cut.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 4 by Ryoko Kui

I'm reading these books so fast I can barely remember which parts of the plot happened in which volume but know that I am still having a great time!

Delicious in Dungeon vol 5 by Ryoko Kui

Oh, this story has taken a darker turn, and also just introduced a whole bunch more characters. Will I be able to keep track of them all? I hope so!

Dragon Keeper by Robin Hobb, read by Anne Flosnik 

Unfortunately, this is definitely the weakest Robin Hobb book I've read so far. I was expecting to like it less than the glorious, 5-star previous trilogy, but I actually think I'm going to skip the rest of the Rain Wild Chronicles and read summaries online to get to the next Fitz books. This book follows five main POV characters. This works fairly well for the first half, when the characters are all in different physical locations. However once all of the characters meet up, we start getting the same scene from multiple different POVs, which feels extremely repetitive. Also, almost EVERY SCENE includes a flashback, often a lengthy flashback, sometimes to something that happened only the previous day and could have been told as present-moment action. This writing choice baffled me. It's something I can't remember struggling with in any of Hobb's previous books, but by the end it was driving me up a wall. The book also moved very slowly; the stakes feel lower, and the character far less emotionally true than in the two Fitz trilogies. Disappointing, but I will keep moving forward towards the next part of the series I want to read.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 6 by Ryoko Kui

Damn, a lot of characters get murdered in this volume! Good thing almost everyone who dies in the dungeon can be revived. Also, very excited to finally meet the cat ninja I've been seeing fan art of since before I even started the series :3

Delicious in Dungeon vol 7 by Ryoko Kui

I am still completely caught up in this series. I love the glimpse of Senshi's past revealed in this volume, and the lore of the dungeon that is still being revealed. There was a line in here about how the dungeon leaves you alone if you don't ask much of it, but that if you have strong desires it throws even more obstacles into your way. Our heroes have such big goals right now, but they're marching ahead regardless!

School Trip by Jerry Craft 

A satisfying new installment in the New Kid series from funny, talented, charming Jerry Craft! I appreciated how this volume started to complicate some of the students who had been left a bit one-dimensional in previous books. Several people stood up to and called out a bully; new friendships were built; and Jordan Banks left Paris even more inspired than ever to follow his dreams of becoming an artist. This series has a lot of jokes, but also a lot of heart!

A Frog in Fall (and Later On) by Linnea Sterte 

Minor frog is less than a year old, and is dismayed when winter begins to steal all of the light and warmth from his world. Instead of bunking down safely with his mentor to wait for spring, he sets out on a journey with two vagabond toads passing by on a quest to make it all the way to the tropics. They tramp through the Japanese countryside, encountering tree spirits, new friends, dangers, and views the likes of which minor frog had never even imagined. This is a gorgeous book; every page worth pouring over, an economy of line and detail building a beautiful and mysterious world of talking animals and miniature packaged foods. Made me want to draw.

Dark Rise by CS Pacat read by Christian Coulson 

In 1820s London, orphaned Will tries to earn enough as a dockworker to survive- and evade the killers pursuing him. Violet dresses in her half-brother's clothes and sneaks onto a ship in the Thames to watch a man be branded with his master's mark. Katherine excitedly anticipates her engagement to one of London's richest and most mysterious lords; his gallantry nearly makes up for the fact that he's twice her age. And in the bowels of one of that lord's ships, James tortures a man for information. All of these characters are 16 or 17 years old, but all of them are tangled in an ancient conflict between the Light and the Dark which stretches back into an age of magic before history. This is CS Pacat's YA fantasy debut, and it contains a lot of tropes very familiar to both YA and high fantasy- there are shades of both Tolkien and Rowling in this. Its fast-paced and action-packed, but especially in the first third of the story, the characters all felt fairly thin. None of them have quirks, hobbies, career hopes, relationships outside of immediate family, school, or work; or much more than a brief sketch of past. It took until the mid-way point for what I consider Pacat's major strengths as a writer to emerge: intense, homoerotic interpersonal sparring between characters operating under major power imbalances. Every scene in which the seductive, manipulative, powerful evil gay faced off against the good boy chosen one crackled with energy. Unfortunately, there were only four of these scenes in the whole book. It ends on a cliff-hanger, because of course it does, with a tempting set up for book two; but that doesn't entirely excuse the fact that the first 50% felt like set up. I will definitely keep reading, but long-time Pacat fans should take note that this is toned down version of what I expected based on Captive Prince.

Feeding Ghosts by Tessa Hulls (re-read before event)

What an accomplishment! I savored every page of Feeding Ghosts, absolutely floored by the labor and courage that went into the writing of this book. The inking is gorgeous, the history is clear, digestible, and devastating. This book threads the line between honesty and compassion in a way that I appreciate so much in any memoir, but especially one dealing with family. Hulls lays out the story of three generations of women starting with her grandmother, Sun Yi, a Shanghai journalist who faced intense persecution during the rise of Communism in China, who penned a popular and scandalous memoir and then suffered a mental breakdown. This left her only daughter, Rose, a student at an elite boarding school with no parental figures and no other family to lean on. Eventually Rose earned a scholarship to an American university and in the end moved her mother into her California home. Sun Yi haunted that home during the author's own childhood. The unexamined trauma and codependency of Sun Yi and Rose drove the author to the extreme edges of the Earth, seeking freedom from their ghosts. But in the end, she stopped running from her family history and turned, instead, to face it. Shelve this book with Maus, Fun Home, Persepolis and The Best We Could Do. Re-read it for a second time and got even more out of it on a second pass.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 8 by Ryoko Kui

Laios and company realize that their encounter with changling mushroom rings had more consequences than they'd realized- its the body swap episode! This visual humor is contrasted against increasing dangers from both above and below, as nastier monsters and political machinations begin to close in on our heroic adventuring party. I'm now over halfway through this series and almost feel like I should start reading it more slowly to savor it, but I'll probably just keep devouring it instead.

Lunar New Year Love Story by Gene Luen Yang and Leuyen Pham

High school senior Val grew up knowing her family was unlucky in love; for generations, relationships in her family have ended in heartbreak. Her childhood love of Valentines Day ends with a shocking family revelation and what feels like the beginning of a curse. Then her Vietnamese grandmother sweeps her off to a Lunar New Year celebration in downtown Oakland and a pair of cute lion dancer boys catch her eye. Could one of them break the spell on her heart? This story offers a classic and satisfying rom-com, with Val torn between an outgoing, rich, but flaky boy and a broody, shy, loyal one. The story takes several kdrama style twists and includes ghosts, saints, red envelopes, confessions, fights, reunions, tears, and kisses. For a comic, its wordy; the pages are dense with small panels and thick with dialogue, but also illustrated with such warm, humor, and realism. I really liked that the story included as much of Val's relationship with her family and best friend as romance. And the lion dancing scenes practically leap off the page with color and energy!

Witch Hat Atelier vol 10 by Kamome Shirahama

This series remains as visually stunning as ever but I'm struggling with how every single book expands the cast. There are so many characters now that I don't care about that much, and have trouble remembering from volume to volume. I wish the story line would stick more closely to Coco, her classmates, and their main mentors!

Delicious in Dungeon vol 9 by Ryoko Kui

Oh the stories are all converging! The savior at the bottom of the dungeon is probably a demon! Ituzumi saves the day! I am still having a great time reading this series.

A Dowry of Blood by ST Gibson read by Abby Craden 

A short, very queer, very poly retelling of Dracula focusing on his coven of enthralled lovers. I liked the way the book breezed through history, as the dysfunctional little family moved from one major European city to the next, with snatched moments of glittering joy interwoven with violence and plague. The story is fairly simple, and has a happier ending than I expected, or honestly think the characters deserved.

City of Dragons by Robin Hobb

I DNFed the previous book in this series and just read a summary online before skipping ahead to this one. I think that was a very good choice for me. This third one was more engaging and a bit more action packed, with some cool discoveries about the city of Kelsingra and the nature of Elderlings. But the Rain Wild Chronicles as a whole do not stand up to the quality of the Farseer books. There are so many POV characters that a few of them get only two or three scenes in this whole book. I don't feel that I deeply know any of these characters; while at the same time watching Hobb pair them off at an extraordinary rate- in the last book five sets of characters got together and in this book an additional two couples are developing feelings for each other. Between this and a kidnapping, a birth, a murder, and a lot of blackmail, this series feels like a soap opera.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 10 by Ryoko Kui

Almost two TPKs in this volume, yikes!

Delicious in Dungeon vol 11 by Ryoko Kui

You know shit's getting serious when the character who has been the series main villain up until now is partially devoured by a different, worse villain. Exciting changes coming to this dungeon under it's new lord and master!

Squad by Maggie Tokuda-Hall and Lisa Sterle

When Becca gets invited to sit with the popular girl clique at her new high school, she's thrilled. But the friendship turns bloody and complicated when she learns that her new friends are actually werewolves who need to kill and feed on a human once a month. If she joins them, Becca will gain superhuman strength and a pack; she'll never have to fear a male predator again, because she will be a predator herself. I loved the queer rep and the twist on werewolf lore; I wish it had been a little longer and more developed. Give me multi-page transformations sequences!

Delicious in Dungeon vol 12 by Ryoko Kui

I love seeing all these plot lines come together! Building towards a wild climax.

Delicious in Dungeon vol 13 by Ryoko Kui

I went out and *bought* vol 13 of this series because my library didn't have it yet, that's how hooked I am. And now I have to wait until JULY for the final volume! (But also, thank goodness I didn't get into this series any sooner or I'd have a much longer wait).

[cherrymagik]

Shion stood up. He stood in front of Nezumi, and reached out. It was a brief gesture, lasting only for a split second. Huh? Nezumi was being held at the base of his neck. Not even held―Shion's fingers were merely resting on it. But a violent chill ran through him. It was a piercing shiver like what a beast felt when it had fallen into a trap. "I thought it… was going to come out of here," Shion whispered hoarsely, as if his voice were caught in his throat. "When you collapsed, that's what I thought. I―I thought you were going to die. Nezumi, it's not for you." "Huh?" "I'm not worrying about you for your sake. I'm only concerned about you for my own sake―to be free of my own fears." Shion's fingers drew away. Nezumi realized he had been holding his breath the whole time. "Nezumi, there are still a lot of things out there that I don't know. But I do know," he hesitated. "―How terrifying it would be for me to lose you. I'm probably more afraid to lose you than anyone―anybody else. I'm so scared, it's unbearable. I want to make sure you'll never disappear from my side. I don't care if you ridicule me, or sneer at me―these are my real feelings." It was none other than a straightforward and simple confession of love. I can't live without another―without you. How direct, how blatant, how foolish of a confession it was. Shion was, at this moment, committing the enormous mistake of revealing his foolishness, feminine weakness, his fragility. But Nezumi found himself unable to ridicule or sneer at him.

― No. 6 Volume 4 by Atsuko Asano

[that-terrible-writer]

Not Like This

I’m over trying to add this through Safari.

Part 3

Part 1 2

“You call yourself terrible but this, this is beautifully written and I need more.”

“This has got me on the edge!!!! I dont usually like reading series or even multiple parts but dude I wanna read more of it!!!!!!! Are you planning on writing more??? This is so fucking AMAZING”

Warning: Over 3.3k to make up for me sucking.

You felt you had an out-of-body experience. You could see everyone in the control room at STAR Labs, but you were only watching their lips move. No noise was coming out. It was pure silence. You were utterly dazed; you couldn't get the image of Iris crying out of your head. She seemed so helpless, not getting the answers that she wanted. What were you supposed to do? Confess to her that you were the other woman?

A yell snapped you out of your thoughts. Turning your head slightly, you saw Ralph getting closer to you, "Y/N!" Ralph yelled. You covered your ear, wincing at the volume of his voice. You swatted Ralph away from your space, taking a few steps back.

"What is your problem, Dibny?" You mumbled, taking another sip of your coffee. It missed your lips, spilling the hot liquid onto your sweater. You let out a groan, patting the stain in, slamming your coffee cup down on the desk. The group looked at you, not wanting to say the wrong thing; though, Ralph took one for the team.

"I didn't mean to annoy you, Y/N," He explained. Ralph cautioned himself, taking a step towards you, "It's just, now's not the time to be spacing out. You know, with Cicada still out there." You lightly nodded your head, understanding Ralph's point. You rubbed your eyes, letting out a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry, Ralph. I didn't mean to take it out on you," You clarified. You glanced over at Barry, reading his worried look at you. Your heart ached when you locked eyes with him. A flash of Iris appeared, causing you to look away from him quickly. "Iris was over at my apartment last night, talking to me until 4 in the morning, so I didn't get much sleep last night."

You quickly saw Ralph's mood turned from concerned to being unsettled. You waved Ralph away from you, walking towards the doorway. You lifted your hand before letting anyone interject on what Iris was doing at your place. You looked over at them, "She's upset about the whole Nora thing. If you don't mind, I'm going to draft some weapon ideas and run them through Cisco." Cisco gave you a thumbs up, bringing the attention back to the Team, discussing ways to stop the biggest threat to Central City.

You walked by the weapon's room, heading straight to the lounge. You observed the room, seeing some things that Nora had left behind. You slowly made your way to the couch, plopping your heavy body onto it. You leaned your head back, letting out another frustrated sigh. You rethought your night with Iris when you knew you could no longer call yourself a friend anymore.

You brought over a cup of tea, sitting across from Iris. You thought that Iris would be out of tears, crying for an hour, and she still could go on for longer. You bit your thumb, trying to find the right words to say. Not to show concern for her, but to make sure you didn't let anything slip. Iris leaned over, cupping her drink close to her. She looked up at you, her face stained, her eyes puffy.

You grabbed a nearby box of tissues, handing them over to her. You watched as she blew her nose, sniffling the last bit. She collected herself, taking in a deep breath, "I'm sorry you had to watch that," She softly said.

You waved your hand, relaxing your shoulder, "Iris, it's okay. I would do the same if I were in your position." You waited until Iris took some time to drink her tea. You paused at first, not wanting to press on a sensitive matter. The curiosity was eating you alive, taking over, "Iris, why do you think Barry is cheating on you? Have you seen each other? You're the definition of couple goals." You clasped your hand over your mouth, not believing that you just asked her something so personal. Even if it did have to deal with you: you had to act like you didn't know.

Iris lightly laughed. You noticed the cup you gave Iris. It was the exact cup you were going to hand Barry when he interrupted you that night. You grew uneasy, rubbing your mouth and constantly moving your legs. You had to keep reminding yourself to calm down. You couldn't give away any tells.

"He's been more distant lately. He hasn't been relying on me as much. He used to come to me for emotional support; it's what a husband and wife do for each other, but when it came to Nora, he didn't want to discuss her." Iris explained. Her voice cracked, on the verge of crying again. Iris inhaled, calming herself down, trying to force a smile, "He came home this morning, and I don't know how to put it; he just seemed happy."

"Happy?'' You repeated. You furrowed your eyebrows together, shifting yourself on the chair. "How could he be happy? He sent Nora back; I would imagine happy is the last thing he would be feeling."

Iris shook her head, "I thought the same. Granted, I didn't know about Nora until he told me. He came home, all happy, then he informed me that he took her back to the future. I just can't figure him out anymore, Y/N." Iris placed her cup on the table to be able to put her head into her hands.

"I don't know what's going on, Iris. I'm in no place to tell you how to feel, but we need to remember Barry is going through a lot. Not only do we all have Cicada on our hands, but Barry also has to try and figure out Crisis. Then he learned that his daughter is working with the man that killed his mother. It's a lot to take in. We can't predict how someone could handle this type of thing." You tried your best to find a way to excuse Barry's behavior. You cursed under your breath, annoyed at how careless Barry was. You knew you had to speak with him, but you didn't need to grow any more suspicion.

"You're right; we don't know how Barry is handling all of this. Maybe I'm reading too much into this. It's just caught me thinking of so many things because he didn't come home last night. I've been just letting the worst come to mind." Iris confessed. You went over, sitting next to Iris, wrapping your arm around her. You took in a deep breath, having been heartbroken when you heard Iris let out her cries again.

Your stomach turned, remembering last night. Rubbing your face, you couldn't shake the feeling away. You noticed something at the table. A fresh cup of mocha had appeared, from Jitters, with Barry Allen staring down at you. His eyes lit up when they instantly locked with yours, a smile tugging on his lips; you could feel the spark that you both shared.

"Barry, we shouldn't be seen together." You mumbled, reaching over for the drink. You saw Barry shift his weight, but you stop before he could speak, "Iris came over: worried about you. I don't particularly appreciate lying to her, Bear. It would help if you fixed this with her. That's final."

In a blink of an eye, Barry had used his powers on you again. The room reminded you of an insane asylum. White covered every inch of the space. "It's Thawne's hideout," Barry explained.

"That makes sense," You joked, "Only a psycho would have a place like this." You looked around, seeing a stand against the wall, "Is it safe to talk in here?'

"It is," Barry confirmed. He walked over to the stand, hovering his hand over to reveal an artificial face. Barry saw you stiffen up, reaching out a hand towards you, "It's alright. This is Gideon. I created her in the future, and Thawne was using her while he was stuck here."

"Hello, Mr. Allen," The AI spoke, "Hello, Ms. Y/L/N." Your face didn't move. It was still showing the same puzzle expression.

"Gideon, can you pull up the article?" Barry requestion. Gideon pulled up the article that had you all worried.

THE FLASH VANISHES

"Barry, why do I need to see this?" You complained, "We are doing our best to find a way to avoid the crisis." Barry walked over to you, standing behind you. He placed his hands on your shoulder, turning you to face the article. He lowers his head to be close to your ear, trying to have you focus. Focusing: that was the last thing on your mind.

"Look who wrote the article," Barry whispered. You looked up at the name. Gideon zoomed in for you to make no mistake.

"Iris West?" You barely got out. You shook your head, pulling yourself from Barry. You turned to face him, crossing your arms, still in disbelief. "So, what does this mean?"

"That article used to say Iris West-Allen," Barry pointed out. He took steps closer to you while you did nothing to step away. Barry cups your face, rubbing his thumbs along your cheek, "It's now just West. Don't you see Y/N? We get to be together.

"The timeline is changing, just like Thawne explained. We can't stop the way that we feel. We can have a life together." Barry smiled.

"I don't know, Bear. I don't want to start a relationship based on what we did. Based on a lie." You confessed.

"Let me handle it then," Barry assured, "I will tell Iris everything. I will make sure that everything falls on me and that you can still have a friendship in the end." Barry kissed you. A soft and gentle kiss, telling you that everything was going to be okay. You stared at Barry, about to interject. Yet, a familiar flash came into view.

You gripped onto Barry's arm, seeing Nora at the other end of the room. Her eyes flashed red; she was panting, having red lighting come out of every part of her body. You should see the anger flowing through her. You turned Barry around, having him stare at his daughter. Barry reached out behind him, grabbing onto you.

"Nora, I need you to calm down," Barry instructed, stretching a hand out toward his daughter, motioning her to stop in her steps. Barry knew what was happening with Nora. She returned to the present using the negative speed force, rejecting everything he instructed her not to do.

"She's ruining our family," Nora yelled, causing you to wince. Nora looked at her father; disappointment came across her face. "Are we not enough? Was I not what you wanted?" Nora's voice cracked, causing you to have tears form.

"Nora, I didn't mean for it to happen," You plead. Your voice also cracked, feeling the heavy amount of guilt you had with Iris, just growing when Nora had to be the one to find out. You didn't mean for this to happen. You never meant for any of this to happen.

"She has to go, Dad," Nora ordered. She took a step closer, balling her fists, ready to take flight.

"Nora, we can talk about this." Barry tried to calm her. You felt the wind go through your hair. You thought it was Barry thinking quick on his feet, but he could only run for so long until Nora caught up. When you stopped, the figure placed you to your feet, helping you stand.

You quickly spun around, making sure Nora wasn't anywhere near you. "Don't worry. You're safe." The voice answered. You turned to see a young man in front of you, wearing a purple and white suit. "I'll always make sure you're safe." He had appeared to be in his 20s, wearing his hair like a certain Speedster.

"Barry?" You let out softly, confused at what you were seeing.

The young man laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. He showed certain traits on how nervous he was before you: his hands were restless, flicking his fingers at the tip, rubbing his mouth, and biting at the end of his thumb. "You always tell me how much I look like him," He told you. You didn't know what to say; no words were coming out of your mouth. You looked around you, seeing that nothing looked familiar, "You don't know where we are?" He asked you. You slowly look over at him, shaking your head softly.

The young man rubbed his chin, muttering to himself, "Maybe it will happen later." That is what you were able to catch.

"I'm sorry, what?" You rebutted, "Who are you? Where am I?"

"Don't worry! You're still in Central City!" He assured you. You waved your hands as a disagreement.

"That's the last thing I am worried about, as I have an absolute stranger pick me up and take me away from my friends!" You yelled.

The boy placed his hands on his hip, and that instant: you knew where the dots connected.

Your phone rang; seeing it was Barry on the other line, you picked it up, "Y/N! Thank God you're okay!" Barry's voice sent a wave of safety through you. "Where did you go? Who took you?" You closed your eyes, focusing on Barry's voice, taking in deep breaths.

You looked over at the boy, seeing his ears perk. He stared at you, waving his finger at you, "Is that—is that really—" The kid couldn't finish a sentence. His excitement had taken over him.

"We got Nora into the Pipeline. We were able to knock her out with some anesthesia." Barry informed you, "You can come back if the speedster lets you."

You glanced over at the boy, "I don't think he's bad, Bear." You assured him, "I think—I think we know him from the future." You hung up the phone, walking your way over to the eager boy. "Do you think you could take me back to STAR Labs?" You questioned him.

"You serious?" He said. His voice showed the excitement he held, in a flash, taking you back to your previous location.

Your hair was a mess, standing in front of your friends: back in the control room of STAR Labs. Barry didn't think; he went over to you, pulling you into a loving embrace. You lightly tapped Barry's back, whispering to him so that only he could hear, "I'm okay."

Barry pulled himself away, turning to the boy. His face mimicked yours. He scrunched his brows, confused at the sight before him, "Why does he look so much like—"

"You." Cisco finished. Cisco walked over, taking a good look at the boy. He walked around him, examining his outfit and facial features. Cisco placed a hand under his chin, "The resemblance is uncanny."

"A little bit too uncanny," Ralph grumbled, looking over to your direction. You felt your stomach drop as you knew Ralph would quickly catch on to what you figured out.

"Are you here because of your sister?" Caitlyn mentioned, grabbing the boy's attention from you and Barry. He looked a bit confused and shook his head.

"No, Dawn doesn't know that I'm here. If she did, she would have my head," He joked. His smile grew wide, showing more of the Allen gene running through him.

"Dawn?" Caitlyn caught, tilting her head at the thought. "Don't you mean Nora?"

The boy shook his head again, "I think I would know the name of my sister."

You saw Ralph make his way over to you, pulling you to the side, "You need to take that kid away." He ordered you. You continued to stare at Ralph, your sight going over to the kid once and a while, "They may not see it, but it's only a matter of time until they catch on."

The boy wipes his hands on his pants, trying to straighten himself out. The smile he wore was the same smile Barry had. "Where are my manners. My parents did teach them to me," He chuckled, flashing his eyes over to Barry. "I'm Don Allen. I come from the future."

You and Ralph let out an annoyed sigh, quickly covering it up when the rest of the team looked at you. You make your way to Barry, tugging on his arm. Barry looks down at you, raising his eyebrows.

"Bear, we need to get this kid out of here. We need to speak to him alone." You informed him. It took Barry a while, realizing what was happening.

"Hey, Don," Barry spoke up, "How about we don't say anything about the future. We already have Nora in the Vault; we don't need any more future business involved." Don grew confused by Barry's remarks. He was able to read Barry's expression, understanding that nothing else needed to be said.

"Are you here to help us with Cicada? Like Nora was?" Cisco asked. Don looked over at the two of you, reading your worried expressions.

"Yes," Don said slowly; he turned to Cisco, pointing at him with a bit of a chuckle, "That is why I'm here. To help out with your bug problem. Me. Cicada. Yes." He was as awkward as Barry was; it wasn't helping.

Cisco let out a sigh of relief, having a smile on his face, "Great. The more help, the better. I'm close to the cure; we learned that Cicada's powers don't affect Killer Frost. I hope that enough recap for you because we can't waste any more time with this. We are a woman down, so we need all hands on deck!" Cisco clapped, getting everyone's attention. It was a signal to look busy.

Cisco left the room with Caitlyn to continue their efforts in completing the cure. Ralph followed behind. When Ralph was almost out of the room, you could see him mouth you some words: "Fix this!"

Barry waited a few moments, placing his hand along your lower back to guide you out of the control room. Don caught up, but the moment he tried to say anything, Barry placed an index finger to his lips to silence the kid. Barry put his hand on the wall, opening up a door to go back into Thawne's room.

"What are you doing here, Don?" Barry demanded the moment the wall sealed up. Don rubbed his hands, looking at his angry father. His mouth twitched, from going into a frown to just a thin line. "Don, you can tell me."

Don was pacing the room, "I don't understand," Don muttered, looking over his shoulder where the door was. He pointed towards the door, "They don't know?" Don asked both of you. You looked up at Barry, who had the same action, looking back at you. Don went over to you, grabbing your left hand to examine it.

"You're not married?" Don questioned you. You shook your head. Don ran his hands through his hair, getting more and more restless. "This can't be happening," He grunted. He turned to Barry, pointing his finger at the Red Speedster, "Why aren't you married to her?"

"Because he's married to Iris," You informed Don. Don looked over at you, the look of disappointment he had shown. "They've been married for a few years now. We're just friends." You felt Barry's hand resting on your side, his grip tightening. You took a moment, knowing what Don was going to say.

"Mom, you can't be serious," Don finally told you. The moment you knew the truth, you felt your breath leave your body. You felt faint, but with Barry holding onto you, you were able to stand. "You and dad need to be together! My being, Dawn's being, everything is disappearing in the future. You two not being together is destroying the future!"

You turned to look up at Barry. Barry looked at you, still calm over the revelation. Barry had to decide which future he wanted to have and had to choose which one had to go; the very thought made you sick to your stomach.

Tagged: @randomfanders-blog​ @ibe-anne @my-soul-is-the-moon

Permanent Tagged: @sxturn-stars

Some of the tags aren’t working and I’m sorry 😢

[sukirichi]

The story is still in its chapter 2 and it's very early to make assumptions, but I wanna throw what has been plaguing my mind😹 Also, I need a place to scream my pain away. I can't help but feel like Sunarin's extremely confused? During his talk with the Queen, I mean. In any of the relationships I have been or thought of having, it's unbelievably hard to see myself with any of them in the future, to think of having a family with them. I do want to, but none of them were there when I thought about it. So, if I were dating someone, and began seeing them as the parent of my children and picture us running around the motherfucking house... you know shit's getting mad serious. Like, I have to be so incredibly in love with you to do that. Especially if I were supossedly in love with another person that isn't them, because then the thought of being with anyone else should be repulsive. More so considering Rin is with reader just as a mean to the end that he actually wants. He shouldn't be thinking of us in the way he is. And even if he said in chapter 1 he dreamt of a lifetime with Iris, I don't know. It all rubs me the wrong way, I just can't quite put my finger on why. Like his intentions to be with Iris are not exactly pure either. Granted we still need to know a LOT. How did they end together? What's the story behind their love? Something about Iris irks me too, the Queen not trusting her nor her family speaks volumes!!! Why did Iris and Kiyoomi marry? And so suddenly, too. What is it that happened? Also, Kiyoomi. He is another story on its own. I do wish reader and him end up together, not for revenge or anything like that, but because he seems really unhappy in his marriage and family. Maybe in each other's arms is where they find peace. Can't wait to see them getting closer! Notable mention to the similarity between the King and Queen's marriage and Suna and reader's relationship. I read chapter 1 again and just caught that🤧 Lastly, if this chapter in which sex between those two was just implied hurt like a bitch and made me ill as fuck, I don't wanna think about chapter 4. I know I'm gonna be rolling in the dirt next to Princess Maiko. Wait the bill for my next therapy sessions!!😩

omg hello, I’m absolutely sorry for the late replies, I was away for holidays but OMG I was really looking forward to answering this ask and wanted to take my time with it 🥺

yeah, I can totally agree with you on that, Rintaro is living both a fantasy and a nightmare. he’s very confusing in his treatment to YN, but in his mind – about the whole he sees a future with us and wants a family with us but doesn’t really love us – it’s more on him realizing that he’s got a good thing going on for him which he wants to keep (which is YN) but we aren’t the ones he really want. Rintaro only likes the idea of having a happy future and a happy family with us the way he wished he could’ve had with Iris. he’s projecting his fantasies about Iris that he can’t fulfill in reality to us. because even if Iris did become his concubine, and they’re legally allowed to have children and their children could be next to the throne, Rintaro knows they’re a chance the Kingdom and the people he cared about would never approve of his relationship with Iris. the only trump card he can use to defend her is that it’s ‘legal’ to be with Iris once he is King and she is his concubine. but deep down, Rintaro knows everyone would prefer and love YN more.

the backstory of Iris and Kiyoomi will be revealed soon, around chapter 6 I think, but there’ll be hints here and there before that :DD also yes, there’s similarities between Suna’s parents and his relationship with YN. Suna’s late father was a careless man who enjoyed his life dating and sleeping with others despite being in a good, stable marriage while his mother did all the work.

AGSJKAA OKAY I’M GONNA BE HONEST – IRIS AND SUNA DID NOT HAVE SEX in the end of chapter two!! Iris was mostly bawling to Suna how her feelings were hurt, and he comforted her, then they mostly just made out and cuddled. fun fact: Rintaro fucks YN more than he does with Iris, because it’s easier to grow intimacy with YN by just pleasuring her and also because he doesn’t want to be too vulnerable around us the way he is with Iris. and…I think it’s obvious already, but Rintaro will always have sex with us as a means to manipulate our feelings and distract us when we’re slowly figuring out his secrets 😭💔

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

The Truths Found On Petram Viridios IV (5/5)

A/N: The last chapter to this fic. It's a long one and I gotta say that I've had a lot of fun with this one. After I post this chapter, I'll be sure to post the masterpost for this fic. And of course it'll be available on ao3 soon enough.

Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

__________

Chapter 5: Adore You

If you had to draw a map to find the way home once you were captivated by the gaze of those trustworthy, soft eyes of his, you would surely run out of ink; pools of blue, unwavering in their affection, drew you in, and you were willing to drown in them. There were facets about them that fascinated you as much as the scales of a butterfly did; they did not shimmer, but they gleamed and sparkled; it's what made you pause and search for a wisp of an acquaintance that very first time you saw him; finding a familiarity that threatened to sweep you away. Why you even found fire in those eyes; it was there in his moments of determination and passion. Oh, how their color shifted with his moods was a type of magic you wanted to spend the rest of your life being mesmerized by. To be sure he wasn't mistaken, he dare not blink; exhibiting the full spectrum of what Billie Eilish described as ocean eyes; he had to be sure. "Y-you do?"

"Yes," you giggled. "I do."

It wouldn't occur to you till later, that he had given you a choice. For instead of the typical proposal question, where it was more asserted, Rick asked in a manner in which there was equal footing; it spoke volumes of the respect he had for you. With shaky hands, he slipped a ring whose stone was as clear and blue as his eyes and cut perfectly like a rose, the band covered in gold vines and silver leaves which weaved together; he made it himself, and if you thought back far enough, you could remember when he was ambiguous about his plans to create a new type of stone. Honestly, you didn't realize it would be for this.

"Gosh," he sniffled. "I-I promised myself that I w-wouldn't cry."

But cry he would; fat, sloppy tears that blinded one's vision. He wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater, and fought to regain composure, but lost to the new wave which followed. You gently pried his hands away from his face, softening at his tear-stained cheeks. "It's okay, you can cry if you want to. I already know how tender you are."

Goodness, how long had he wanted to do this? For while it had almost been two years in which he had last attempted to, it might've been on his mind for much longer than that; eating away at his clarity; at the self-confidence that was torn down and repaired daily. You were grateful and proud that this man wanted you; that he finally gathered the courage to ask and do as he intended and wanted. You….you had wanted this to happen, but did he know that? Your ocean of inquisitions thought otherwise.

However, it was time to quiet and quell his despondent thoughts. Your fingers dug into the collar of his sweater; the tang of nervous sweat and something so him which wafted off him made you yearn to bring him closer. The puffiness about his eyes didn't discourage you from pressing a kiss at the corner of them and from his throat came a choked sob and you were surrounded by the sounds of his disbelief; this cacophony was breaking your heart. There had to be something you could do to ease him. "Ricardo," you started, "considering the suddenness of the occasion, should we, in like fashion…my dear honey man, would you like to get married today?"

This new tidbit caught him off guard; so much so that he stopped crying; good. Now, he was the one who was unsure of whether this was real life or a simulation. He ran his fingers through his hair, double-checked his equipment, sprayed himself with water, and completed equations that had taken this earth dimension's leading mathematicians decades to understand. What you thought was odd was when he caught a pigeon, scanned its anatomy, and found it was sound; you were going to have to ask him about it later. "Rick, did you hear me?"

"Y-yes," he focused, "but what d-do you mean today? How?"

You figured he would have easily come to a conclusion, but then again, what do spacemen have to do with the price of bread?

"I mean that we don't have to wait if you don't want to." You slid your palm over his tattoo, memorizing with your fingertips where his skin was slightly raised. "We can just go down to the justice of the peace if you'd like."

"And y-you would be my wife today?"

"Yes," you giggled. "I think that's how it works."

"But what about a-a…"

"A wedding ceremony?" you interrupted. "Well, we can have one later. We can plan it however you want, and invite all our friends. There can be so much celebration that we'll be knocked out for a week. Until then, I just want to make you happy, and I believe the sooner the better. Okay? So, if we're going to do this, just tell me now and I'll go get the proper paperwork."

It never ceased to amaze you how easily he flitted through emotions as though it were the weather, and with vigor, he lifted you up and vibrated with joy. "Boy, golly gee…this really - this really razzes my b-berries! This is…wow, I-I can't believe it."

You couldn't believe his word choice either. "Oh, you better believe it, because now you're stuck with me and I have you all to myself. However, you're going to have to put me down now because the office closes at five. There are a few things I need to do before then."

Letting you down, he happily waved goodbye despite the fact that it wouldn't take long to get what you needed for this impromptu occasion. Though, when you entered your house, you took a moment to think about your father. There were things you still didn't understand, like why he never told you about his friendship with Rick, or why you two never really discussed what he'd do if you got married; if he had been here, maybe you two would have talked about which flowers would look best as centerpieces; like whether roses or mums were cheerful enough or if this really was a good idea; if such an age gap was surmountable. Yet, in a way you felt as though you were honoring him; for your father and your mother had been unconventional and had gotten married without all the showy displays then road tripped a bit before settling here; you were simply following tradition.

Maybe, you didn't have to know about the why's and what-ifs, but focusing on what you could do seemed a whole lot easier to do. You kicked off your sneakers and dashed upstairs. You knew where your important documents were, but you thought that choosing a cute outfit would take a little longer. You wanted a certain vibe, one that would make things easier on him and then it came to you; why not revisit an old favorite; one that reminded you of his eyes; always, forever blue.

When you returned, you found him pacing around. He was deep in thought, and it took a moment for him to notice that you had returned. Almost comically, his eyes widened as he took in your appearance, and he started to cry again. "That's th-the dress. From that one time."

"It sure is."

With a twirl, you flaunted the blue chiffon dress, and felt like a dream; his visible adoration was not lost on you. It was a relief that this time you hadn't taken an hour to fuss or worry that you weren't dressed for the part, and you weren't wearing shoes which would kill your feet, but instead rocked some converse. "These shoes are made for walking and that's just what I'll do."

Unlike you, Zeta-7 wanted to fuss and choose something dressier, but you somehow managed to convince him that his blue button-up would be fine, and no tie was necessary; hidden ray guns were allowed just in case this happened to be the day that the Gromflomites attacked; not even Earth-based military scanners would be able to detect them. Though, you did allow him to fix up his hair, because one, you thought he was quite handsome with it combed back, and two, it's what he felt he needed to do to look the part. "How do I-I look?"

"Like the man I'm going to marry. Are you ready handsome?"

With a nod, he grabbed the folder with all the documents he needed. "Y-you bet."

______________

At the courthouse, the entire security staff grouped together and teased you about your keys; you should've known that you'd face trouble once you went through the metal detector; you had a lot of keychains; they were from the days when you and your father would go shopping together. Like Rick, he liked yard sales and thrift stores; sometimes he'd get grab bags and there would be vintage keychains, and he'd give them to you knowing you'd like them. You were told by one of the older guards that it wasn't natural for a grown woman to have a set of keys that weighed five pounds. Zeta-7 began to worry, but you told him you could handle it, and you figured the guards were bored and had nothing else to do. What you didn't tell them was that the main reason your keys were heavy was that you were carrying two sets; yours and your father's old keys; Rick knew, but he respected your wishes to leave it be.

Despite this, you two made your way to the right office; it only took fifteen minutes of going to lobby after lobby, free coffee, and endless rugs in all this indoor nothingness. And nobody knew better than Rick when it came to how much you hated paperwork, but nonetheless, you went through the painstaking process of signing this and that, wondering why they didn't make it easier for people by asking yes or no questions; this better not become someone's confetti. Rick breezed through it all, and you were slightly jealous that he knew what he was doing, but it was due to the fact that citadel paperwork was a lot more frustrating and difficult; he had to go through stacks of it weekly; poor man. While he sat quietly, you were in-between forms that had to be signed in triplicate and heard the gossip coming from the people who were working in the back of the office. What they didn't know was that their ignorance made you more determined; you'd fought your own expectations, that of others, as well as what seemed right to do long enough and no one, not even death itself was going to stop you from doing this; it was the best thing you could ever do for yourself and for him as well. You breathed a sigh of relief when you and Rick finally signed the marriage certificate; finally, it was done, and he watched rapturously as you set down the pen so that he could kiss you without refrain.

If you hadn't known better, you'd say the world shied away; dissolving into a plane of nothingness as he enveloped you with a strength that was deceptive for a man of his years; he had become a little more confident; it might've taken a few years, but all you knew was that it suited him. Being nurtured and cared for, as well as loved in the right sort of environment did wonders on Zeta-7; so much so, that he could hold the world in the palm of his hand and still manage not to damage it. It wasn't shocking that some found this outward display sweet, and you almost had hope for humankind, but then there was a laugh or two from the back; you made a mental note to consider moving off Earth. No one was going to ruin this moment for him, and relishing the moment, you chased his mouth for a second kiss; you know, to prove your point.

And if you hadn't already been proud of him, what made you even prouder was what he said on the way out. "Please stop laughing at m-my wife. Th-that's very rude."

His wife? Yes, you were his wife now. It's strange how you could wake up and wonder what you should have for breakfast and be here where you were now; in a whole new chapter of your life; wondering what will come next. Confusing yes, but not something to be afraid of; you welcomed this happy transition.

Back at the car, you were still recovering from his earlier outburst; the like which was almost out of character. "Did you see the look on her face? I thought it was going to fall off with how far her jaw dropped. Wasn't it a sight?"

Though, he was busy staring at the ring on his own hand which you had picked out when you two made a stop at a consignment shop earlier. It wasn't that complex like yours, but he loved it. "All I could see was - was you."

"You flirt."

You gave his shoulder a playful shove, and in turn, he laughed a full-on belly laugh; this happy noise was music to your ears. "Gosh, I-I mean it. Y-you, look so pretty today." A bit shyly, he commented. "Blue looks very good on you."

"Thank you. So, how should we celebrate? A trip to the moon perhaps? Going across the universe? Maybe a kaiju fight with Matango? Or watching Spiderman 2? Honestly, I'm game for anything."

You had decent shoes on and didn't care what he wanted to do because you were happy if he was happy. And as though it were just another afternoon, he glowed with happiness when he asked. "Mrs. Sanchez, do you - do you want to go get some ice cream?"

Some things will never change and you didn't mind that. "I'd love to. As the author, L.M. Montgomery once said, 'I guess ice cream is one of those things that are beyond imagination.' And, you know, it's so true. I intend to go all out with the toppings today. It's certainly that kind of occasion."

______

He couldn't seem to want to let go of your hand; as though the world would fall away if he didn't and that this would turn out to be a cruel dream. Still, you humored and spoiled him. As intended, you got all the toppings; Rick thought it was a kids dream come true with the amount of candy you had in your waffle bowl. And since you had enough to share, you took the liberty to feed him. He chatted on; offering charming stories from his band days; unlike other Ricks who were in a rock band called Flesh Curtains, his band had been a jazz and bossa nova trio; the band name had been comprised of a numerical equation; if you had named them you would've called them the Zeta Bytes.

Now, Rick wasn't a messy eater, but during one of his more excitable stories, he spilled a bit on the corner of his mouth. Ready with a napkin, you wiped it away, and couldn't help but laugh at how boyish it was. Giving your hand a squeeze, he absentmindedly brushed his thumb on the back of your hand; adoration coloring his voice. “You're t-t-too good to me.”

"There's no such thing. If anything, I gotta spoil you rotten."

You found no hindrance in his mood and this time he didn't think twice about kissing you then and there as he liked while you were still holding the napkin; fear and shame of public displays of affection being one less thing to worry about now. Who cared if your ice cream was melting, because your heart was melting; his mouth tasted of chocolate and promises. A soft chuckle escaped him as he pulled away; his promise whispered against your lips. "I-I promise I'll be good t-t-to you."

Being loved suited him; it really, really did wonders on his countenance and it made you wonder what else he could now do.

_________

By now you were a little tired, but Ricks contagious energy invigorated your spirits; you bet he could've come up with an invention and completed it today if he stayed this hyped up. Instead, he used that energy to make fresh rolls to go with the leftover acorn squash soup; you hadn't been that hungry, but you enjoyed it nonetheless. And when dinner had been eaten, you helped him with the dishes; nothing you hadn't done before, but his spirit was lighter and more at ease; he even bumped your hip with his as a gesture of playfulness. After cleaning up the kitchen, he decided that he'd like to take a shower and refresh himself and in the meantime, you stepped out into the backyard to enjoy the beauty of the night. In this part of town, despite the light pollution, you could see a fair amount of stars.

You had never studied astronomy, but Rick had shown you in diagrams and in textbooks of their names and explained how they were formed; to him, their complexity was like poetry, and it made them beautiful. You couldn't recite it by memory, but you had a feeling that beyond your current comprehension perhaps there was life amongst those heavenly bodies, despite the heat or deadly gases; if you had learned anything about space, it was that worlds were more along the lines of art and beauty than fields of science which were easily explained. Yet, in the air, where there was a sweet perfume, thick, but intoxicating, only where you were currently mattered; you saw that in the leftmost part of the yard there was jasmine which was currently in bloom; its blanket of flowers reminding you of snow. Hadn't you read of this somewhere before? Maybe.

In the grass near your feet, grasshoppers leaped away, and crickets chirped their songs. And you relished the strong breezes and the song of the night which may consume a melancholic heart if it were searching for tragedies instead of sweet dreams. And it had only been a few hours ago when you had thought that all of which transpired might've been a dream. Though, whatever truths that had come to light in the hours after the simulation, you were glad of them.

In the dark, sights and sounds were heightened and mesmerizing, albeit curious in its own right; if it hadn't been for the sound barrier Rick had on his property, you would've heard the obnoxious sound of the next-door neighbor's TV as they watched infomercials. Still, it was a beautiful night. Sitting on the bench which overlooked the whole yard, you thought of what wonderful things you'd like to share with Rick, and then he found you. For his part, he had changed into something more relaxed; into a light blue button-down that was similar to the one he was wearing earlier, but this one was softer, and it was paired with navy pants; it reminded you of blue pants Rick with his attire, but it was cute and suited him. With him, he had brought over a tray of goodies and you two ate cookies and cakes and drank earl grey under the moonlit night.

The pause in conversation gave allowances for observations. For example, you took a good long look at him as he sipped his tea; admiring how casual he appeared tonight. Without his labcoat or sweater, his identity seemed separate from that of his dimension jumping, scientist self; making way for the person deep inside; the friendly neighbor who won your heart without even trying. He noticed eventually that you had been staring at him, and he broke the silence with his inquiry. "What are y-you thinking about?"

"I'm thinking about you cutie. You um….you look really good in those blue pants of yours. Thinking of taking up modeling anytime soon?"

"N-no," he answered with an air of obliviousness that you found endearing. "not unless my next work assignment requires it. Gee, why do you ask?"

"Hmm, it's because you wear your clothes well. I always thought you did, but I don't believe I ever mentioned it."

He ruminated on what you said for a few minutes, before setting down his cup. "Did you - did you always find me attractive?"

"No," you confessed. "but you're the only person I've ever really been attracted to. I…..I always liked the fact that our relationship was built on something more substantial. You see, the more I got to know you, the more irresistible I found you. Though," you winked. "those teeth of yours were always too cute to resist."

This truth of yours made him comfortable enough to relinquish one of his own. "C-can I tell you a secret?"

"It's not much of a secret if you tell me dear, but you can tell me anyway."

Wringing his hands together, he confessed solemnly. "That day y-you tripped on the sidewalk nearby my house, I-I almost decided not to cross the road."

Not cross the road? Hmm, it had been an option. In your mind's eye, you could imagine it; the tall, lanky figure of a man debating against his better judgment on what he ought to do; so close but so far; knowing that he was altering the course of his future and putting yours at risk. Poor man, having to wallow over a moral dilemma like that. "Why is that?"

"Gosh, y-you….I didn't want to take advantage of the situation."

It could've been taken that way, but you never thought so. "So what changed your mind?"

"I thought you were going to cry, and I-I didn't… I didn't want you to suffer anymore. I thought t-to myself, that if I got t-t-to know you, then you wouldn't have to be lonely anymore."

When he said this, you nearly couldn't look at him; not because he knew more than he let on, but because who knows what paths you two would've taken if he hadn't shown up that day. Tears bit at the back of your eyes, and your nails bit into your palms. "Dear, love isn't always a cure for heartache," He tensed up at this, but you knew you had to tell him. You weren't upset because you had guessed as much, but being assured of it cemented the fact. "but I'm sure that without you, without your friendship, I might not be here right now. I think I was depressed, and from time to time I still feel that way. I…I have thought of ways to make my troubles end, ways you might not have been proud of, but you've shown me a better way to live. I think…no, I know that by expanding my horizons, I understand now that there's so much to look forward to, and not to take life for granted. Why," you paused, fighting the tears which threatened to fall. "you reminded me that I gotta make the most of this crazy, unpredictable life, and I'm happy that I'll get to do that with you."

He understood and accepted this answer and gave you a look of adoration and pride; the like that you hoped you'd always remember. And when you two were done with tea, you both took a walk about the garden. The sweet perfume of jasmine intermingled with that of the scent of his soap, and combined with the candor of his speech made this place feel like a well of comfort. He followed behind you as you two spoke, and you were conscious of the fact that with his freshly washed hair brushed back, it made him more appealing. His hands were in want of yours as he matched your pace, and you felt slightly mischievous as you'd skip or teased him to catch you; it wasn't long until he gathered you in his arms and laughed, and you asked without much seriousness for him to let you go, but while he loosened his grip, he didn't let go entirely. "Gosh, y-you make me feel so young. It - it feels so good to have you in my arms."

"Oh, really?" you giggled. "That's great to hear."

Pressing a kiss to your temple, he sighed. "It's unfortunate that I'm so old."

"That's okay. I like you as you are. It goes well with your personality."

"Thank you mi corazón. It feels good to hear that. However, can I-I ask you something?"

"Mhm."

"¿Si hubiera s-sido más joven, habría marcado la diferencia?"

"If you had been younger? I don't know. Possibly," you admitted. "I might've been less reluctant about my feelings at the beginning, but I truly don't know. I'd like to think that I'd still would've fallen for you anyway. You're a wonderful man Ricardo, you don't have to doubt that, anyone can see that. It doesn't matter how old you are, but it's who you are."

"Y-you're right." With reluctance, he allowed his arms to drop to his sides, and he wondered. "It um - it's getting late. Should I-I walk you home?"

Was he forgetting that he didn't have to? Maybe not. Perhaps he needed a sign; one that said that any suggestion of further intimacy was alright. "I thought I was home." you answered, "Don't you want me to stay?"

Scratching the back of his neck, he nodded. "Yes, I-I-I-I do."

"Then it's settled. We'll have a big sleepover," you brightened. "and it'll never have to end. I'll borrow a pair of your pj's and hog all the blankets because I'll get cold."

"And in - in the morning," he added warmly, "w-we can have pancakes."

"Yeah, and watch enough interdimensional cable to make us go blind."

"But I-I might have to work tomorrow."

"Oh. Well, then I guess I'll just have to eat all your snacks until you come back. We might have to take a trip to Costco at some point because they sell these mushroom crisps that are to die for."

Standing under the persimmon tree, he stepped forward and gave your shoulder a squeeze. "Y-you can have whatever you want," With a strong arm slipping around your waist, you felt almost shy at the way he smiled protectingly down at you. His warm breath ghosted about your ear, and his voice was above a whisper as he confessed. “because I-I-I finally got you princess and I'm not - I'm not going t-to let you go.”

At the sound of this pet name, you felt a slight warmth rush to your cheeks, but you didn't laugh it off as you had once but agreed with warmth. “You may do as you please, Mr. Sanchez.”

And so he did. Without hesitation, he lifted your chin and brushed your lips with his thumb. His eyes sparkling with humor, promise, and a confidence that was somehow so very appropriate on his face. "I love you. I-I-I always have. From the time I first held your hand, I knew it had to be you. I would've been a fool if I - if I hadn't tried. Even now, it's hard to believe, but it's starting to sink in."

"Me too. It's unbelievable, but it's true and we have the paperwork to prove it."

Leaning down, he pressed a sweet kiss onto your lips. It was so gentle, it was as though you might break if he tried otherwise. Kissing you again, he sighed against your lips. "It's beautiful out t-tonight."

"It is."

Pressing a hand to his cheek, you softened. "But I think I'm ready to call it a night. Why don't we go in?"

Weaving his fingers with yours, he softened. "Okay."

You used to think to yourself and wonder if his house would ever be ready to receive you, but what you now realized was that it had always been ready, and only you had been waiting for it all to catch up; for him to know what he wanted and to be courageous and say; for you to know what you needed, and to accept that being yourself didn't make you any less attractive or unique and that you weren't alone; you had never been alone, for he had always been waiting. His home, why it was always home, but it was always home because he was what grounded you and you were what grounded him. And you felt so married to him then, and everything felt as it should. Nothing had really changed, except for a title, and a promise; for you two were friends as you had always been; him the happy go lucky old man, and you the silly neighbor who met him by accident, but you couldn't deny that you loved him with your entire being and so did he. As promised, he intended to do everything in his power to protect you, even as you two were getting ready for bed. His body seemed to curl around you as to shield you from whatever monsters could be hiding in the dark.

So, when it happened that you rested your head upon his chest and felt the temptation of sleep washing over you, you pressed a light kiss to his cheek and confessed softly. "I can't wait to wake up next to you."

Fin