#I think Chromedome is really creepy

[arceespinkgun]

Hi! I’m back! Chromedome for the character thing. Any continuity because he’s appeared in three major ones and had wildly different personalities in each. Bless his heart 😔

Character ask game

How I feel about this character

I'm only familiar with Chromedome from the Marvel comics and MTMTE/LL. I've only seen a tiny bit of Headmasters (the only anime I know well is Masterforce). In the Marvel comics he was just a nerdy guy, a code monkey. I liked him and the other Headmasters under Fortress Maximus's command but they didn't get much focus. My enthusiasm is a bit dampened by how stupid I felt the way the entire Nebulos arc was written lol Chromedome is fine, but I did feel like his bio was the most interesting thing about him. It had interesting lore about a sort of processor master race.

When it comes to MTMTE/LL I have many issues with his role in the story. My thoughts are:

How come Chromedome and the first Rewind were almost always shown just arguing in an extremely nasty fashion and barely seemed to like each other (e.g. one of the first ever things CD says to Rewind is how his alt-mode sucks)?

Why did this nastiness suddenly disappear when Rewind died and was replaced by a new Rewind? And while I was glad to see them nuzzling and being supportive and stuff, it also seemed to reduce the characters' personalities immensely.

More of a pet peeve but HE WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT HIS EX roasting your ex with your partner can be healthy and fun but he did it SO MUCH. I also feel like even when your ex is evil, there is something creepy about constantly mocking an ex whose mind you violated and caused lasting damage to.

Having one of the first major gay characters be literally addicted to violating people is gross. In fact, I hate the entire Autobot lobotomy centers plot Chromedome was attached to in general. I feel like it did so much damage to the story and the way fandom now views the Autobots.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I'm fine with CDRW even though I don't like how that was handled. In any other continuity, Brainstorm I guess... though I don't know if they would be into each other that way or if it's just that their heads, Stylor and Arcana, are DEFINITELY gay for each other because they so obviously are lol

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I can't think of any friendship with this character in either Marvel or MTMTE/LL that seemed particularly compelling. Highbrow maybe? I guess I did like how Chromedome interacted with Stylor.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't like how James Roberts claims to love the UK comics so much but then inverted the morals of Chromedome and Prowl.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I actually think that Chromedome's old bio would have been a great basis for a story that could include characters like Rewind, Prowl, or Shockwave. I'd love to see a story that really leans into robotics, about the highly-intellectual characters trying to out-upgrade people on the other side.

[elfdragon12]

"Rewind was making his new husband help him look for his old husband" is an odd take to me.

Like, Chromedome met Rewind as he was searching for Dominus. He knew what was going on. Blaming Rewind for Chromedome choosing to latch onto someone who was clearly looking for closure is... Kinda weird, imo.

Both sides of the relationship are pretty screwed up, sure, but to point the blame solely at Rewind for that specific part is choosing to ignore the active part Chromedome played in the relationship.

No, Rewind should not have gone ahead with a relationship while looking for closure on his last one (even if he came to the conclusion that he was looking for a dead body). However, Chromedome should not have gone ahead with a relationship with someone he knew hadn't found closure. Made worse by the fact he chose this not once, but twice when the alternate version of Rewind was found. The insecurity that Rewind would replace him with Dominus should he be found alive... Is his own doing.

Especially as the two apparently never talked about their problems until it hit critical.

(As an aside, I don't think JRo has ever experienced or truly thought of what it's like to be around someone who is being very pushy to move into a romantic relationship when you're trying to lay down boundaries. I have and it makes how lovey-dovey the two look immediately afterwards very weird to me.)

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #21- Situations in Which it is Appropriate to Stab Your Roommate

You know what’s generally considered bad for your health?

Getting fingers stuck into your brain meat.

Tailgate reveals himself to be immune to Tyrest’s “fall down on the floor” signal, because his hearing’s gone to complete shit due to Cybercrosis. Tailgate then turns off the “fall down on the floor” signal, allowing everyone back up. Tyrest dislikes this turn of events every much- so much so, in fact, he’s turned into a Nazgûl out of sheer rage.

Rodimus, feeling a bit bolstered by the fact that he’s gotten his hands on one of the massive guns the Legislators dropped, tries to talk a big game at Tyrest, before being reminded that a lot of their party is still at risk of dying, by way of their souls cheese-wizzing out of their heads.

Tyrest, now using Tailgate as a hostage, tells everyone to back off so he can go hang out with the Guiding Hand, otherwise he’s gonna poke holes in Cyclonus’ morality pet. Tailgate screams for Rodimus to fire, finally revealing that he’s been dying this whole time. Rodimus has a weird moment where the plot overrides his knowledge of his situation as a character, as he claims shooting them both is unnecessary, as it looks like someone’s already working on it.

Not sure how he saw the gun and not the man it was being held by. And Minimus has some fucking explaining to do.

Outside, Star Saber is yelling about everyone being unworthy of God’s grace, save for himself, because Real Bastard Hours are 24-fucking-7 with him around. Cyclonus decides that he’s going to deal with the stress of not being able to find his dying roommate through violence, and agrees to a religiously-inclined sword fight.

Star Saber has a good start, sucker-punching Cyclonus in the chin, holier-than-thou as he goes. Cyclonus turns the tables however, when he uses his remaining helmet horn to gouge one of Star Saber’s eyes out, revealing his fashion statement to be a deadly weapon in its own right.

Then we get a taste of Cyclonus’ personal brand of faith.

That’s a mighty high opinion of Tailgate you got there, pal. Quite the jump from “I think you’re pathetic.”

Unfortunately, having this little character moment gives Star Saber enough time to warp the hell away from Cyclonus’ Nazgûlian wrath.

Back with Zombie Bullshit Part 3, we get some friggin’ answers.

Minimus looks super tiny here, but remember that he’s still at least ten feet tall. This is not a man you can invite inside your house for a tea party.

After Minimus’ head got crushed, he had to Alien chest-burst his tiniest self out, which allowed him to grab that gun that’s as big as he is and shoot Tyrest in half. Rodimus has to be reminded again that people are still dying, including Brainstorm, which is weird, because he made it seem like he was forged a few issues back. Perceptor runs off to try and parse the Killswitch, and Pharma offers to help, striking a weirdly sultry pose as he does. Everyone ignores him, because that’s just what happens when you become evil and cut your old coworker in half hotdog-style- you get ignored.

Off in the corner, Swerve is talking to Tailgate about the fact that he didn’t tell anyone he was dying, then makes a joke about his impending demise, because Swerve has a lot of trouble handling serious situations. No one has helped him pop his nose back into place, either. This entire team is just falling apart.

Skids stares blankly at Ratchet and First Aid as they check to make sure all the cold-constructed ‘bots are still dying- they are- then remembers that he’s supposed to be watching Pharma.

Prowl only hires the best, clearly.

Skids runs for the portal, with First Aid right on his tail because there’s a gotdang score to settle, and also Rung for some reason. They find Pharma chilling in the tunnel, completely unable to get through to the other side, not because he’s guilty, but because there’s a forcefield in place.

Of course, because Tyrest was an engineer, and you can always find a running theme with everyone’s work, Rung theorizes that the forcefield is working with Aequitas rules, and actually can sense guilt- not of the legal sense, but of the personal variety.

Which sort of implies some unfortunate things about the Aequitas trials as a whole.

Skids starts sinking through, whereas Rung is hitting a wall. Rung, the hell you got to feel guilty about? What sort of horrors have you inflicted upon the world, you skinny creamsicle of a man?

Skids, people are dying. Can your personal nirvana not wait until after this galactic-scale crisis is resolved?

While Skids fucks off into the portal, First Aid’s taking care of Pharma, as Rung watches and has a Nam flashback to issue #6 in the distance.

Sometimes I wonder if First Aid is somehow aware of how Eugenesis went for him, and that’s why he’s so aggressive all the time in MTMTE.

With his revenge exacted, First Aid finally has that breakdown that’s been a long time coming.

You know what we haven’t had in a while? Gratuitous religious imagery.

“They call it the Eugenesis Code. Has something to do with intellectual property, I dunno.”

So this move they’re about to pull might kill Rodimus, and is for-sure going to annihilate the half of the Matrix they have. Bummer. Perceptor goes to finish setting up, leaving Rodimus and Minimus alone to discuss that thing Getaway brought up about Ultra Magnus luring the Lost Light to Luna 1.

Over on the floor, Tyrest isn’t dead, because of course he isn’t, and enacts the homophone game with Swerve and Tailgate as he relays an order to the Legislators.

Outside, all the Legislators stop whaling on Whirl with their swords and start parroting prime numbers at the sky.

Back with Rodimus and Minimus, it’s revealed that Magnus/Minimus/Miniminimus DID lure the Lost Light to the moon, but it was to have Tyrest yell at Rodimus for being a crappy captain. He didn’t know that Tyrest had gone completely bonkers.

The worst part is that Minimus doesn’t know the half of all the bullshit Rodimus has pulled since the end of the war.

No wonder Rodimus was so upset before the funeral- Overlord was partially his fault.

Prowl, prior to the Lost Light’s launch, had wormed his way into Rodimus’ brain, convincing him that an Autobot Phase Sixer was absolutely necessary for the safety of everyone. He, along with Drift, Brainstorm, the Duobots, and eventually Chromedome, assisted in what culminated in one hell of a bad day.

Rodimus would really prefer if this whole space-crucifixion didn’t kill him, because he’s feeling like he’s got a lot to make up for. Which, yeah. I’m guessing all of Tripodeca’s friends are going to be mighty sore about this whole thing once it comes to light.

And that’s a series wrap on Rodimus!

We get a brief intermission, as we find out where exactly Skids got to. It’s… somewhere. Not even he’s sure. He tries to ask for directions, but it would seem there’s a language barrier.

It really speaks volumes to Skids’ sense of self-confidence, that he’d see a giant ball of technicolor light and decide he’s gonna go try to talk to it.

Back at the current crisis at hand, Rodimus screams some more, the Matrix shatters alongside any hopes of finding the Knights of Cybertron, and Ratchet has himself a little smile, because that did the trick.

The reason we aren’t seeing Crankcase in this set of panels is because his head wound was also spewing oil, and he looks super nasty right now. Well, nastier than any of the Scavengers usually are on a day to day basis. They regularly drink corpse juice, they can’t NOT be nasty.

Unfortunately, we aren’t out of the woods yet, as that whole Legislator thing still needs to be taken care of. They pour into the room, throwing Swerve along with the steel door, as he shrieks in terror.

Back outside, Cyclonus and Whirl are having a little breather up on the edge of the smelting pool, since all the Legislators they were fighting went inside. Whirl, who is looking just awful, brings up that little deal he cooked up in issue #19, where Cyclonus would stop trying to murder him if they got through this fight. It’s important to remember that verbal contracts aren’t binding, and that Cyclonus didn’t agree to anything.

And that’s a series wrap on Whirl!

Actually, no, Cyclonus was just daydreaming. He agrees to put the past behind them, then shoots off to go find Tailgate.

Back in Legislator City, things are getting dicey, as Rung screams for Skids to come back, because if nothing else, he knows he can depend on Skids when the chips are down.

Skids, playing to Rung’s expectations, vaults over Pharma’s headless body out of the portal, and starts kicking ass. In the background, some creepy tentacle nonsense pulls Pharma through the portal. This, surely, will never come up again, nor will it be a major plot point down the road.

Because Tyrest decided he was going to play fast and loose with the law, Minimus has no idea what “one one” is meant to refer to. Tailgate decides that cram school did serve a purpose after all, and books it towards that massive computer off in the corner. After a bit of combing through the index, he finds what he’s looking for and makes a few choice edits to the Autobot Code. The Legislators freeze in place, and Tailgate reveals that he’s just completely voided a section of the law.

Just off panel, Minimus barely contains the urge to pop Tailgate’s cubic little head off of his neck. Not that he’d have much time to do it anyway.

Smash cut to the next day, where Tailgate’s laid out in a dark room, Cyclonus sitting by his side. Chromedome is also there for some reason. Rung is nowhere to be seen, despite him likely being a better fit for this situation than the guy whose husband died less than a week ago. Chromedome leaves, because this is a very intimate moment between these two guys who are roommates.

Tailgate, who has developed an honest-to-god “guy-who-is-going-to-die-by-the-end-of-the-movie” cough, tells Cyclonus that he made him something, and it’s waiting in their room for him. I’m going to guess it’s a macaroni art picture of the two of them fighting a dragon.

Tailgate has literal minutes to live, and Cyclonus just sits there, Nazgûling with grief, until Tailgate decides that NOW is the time to reveal his hand.

…Well, there’s the answer to the Babygate question.

Tailgate’s come to the conclusion that all his wanting to be important and a hero was a bit misguided, because as it turns out, it kind of sucks when it’s your final act in the world of the living. He really would have preferred to do just about anything else with his last days, even if it had been just chilling in his room with Cyclonus.

Tailgate asked Cyclonus off-panel to do him a solid and kill him before the Cybercrosis did, a plea which Cyclonus couldn’t agree to. Then he gets a call, and the tension of the scene is somewhat ruined by some goofy-ass cinematic parallels.

Where the hell is Tailgate, that Cyclonus has to book it down the hall to make it to the medibay? That isn’t clear, but what is is that Tailgate has the rottenest luck in the world; they figured out a cure for Cybercrosis, but his case is too advanced for treatment to be effective.

Cyclonus thinks that this is a major bummer, but thanks Ratchet for trying anyway. Whirl tries to talk to him, and he better watch out, before that little deal he made gets thrown out the friggin’ window.

Tailgate hits the final two minutes, as Cyclonus returns, sword in hand.

And that’s a series wrap on Tailgate!

…That was almost a sincere one, you know. Tailgate was supposed to die here, in an earlier draft of the story. He didn’t, because Roberts realized it would completely nerf Cyclonus’ character development. I can’t even begin to imagine who Cyclonus would have been if both the Rewind/Chromedome thing hadn’t gone over well, AND Tailgate got offed.

Later on, Ultra Magnus is back in action, Minimus Ambus having redonned the armor to reassume his position as S.I.C. of the Lost Light. He discusses the changes that have come about as a result of their time on Luna 1 with Rodimus, who’s pretty bummed about the whole situation. A quick rundown of all the nonsense that happened:

The mystical portal to the Guiding Hand no longer works

Hot Spot faded out and won’t come back on

Ambulon is dead

First Aid is very sad about Ambulon being dead

The ship is falling apart

The only person who seems to have had any sort of a positive experience is Brainstorm.

…James, did you put that baby inside that robot?

Anyway, so yeah. Luna 1 sucks butt. One star, would rate zero if I could, I don’t care if it has sweet rocket thrusters strapped to the back of it and is super mysterious, and might potentially be an idea pulled from the delightfully earnest Children of a Lesser Matrix.

Later on, Magnus makes his rounds, stopping by Cyclonus and Tailgate’s room to check the vibe. Turns out that stabbing sick people is considered medicine on Cybertron, at least when you’re using a Great Sword to do it.

Whirl had the awesome idea to slap Cyclonus’ weird spark energy into Tailgate’s frail body, so it could kickstart his heart and give him enough time to actually get treated for Cybercrosis.

Ultra Magnus is impressed, and perhaps a bit concerned with how easily Cyclonus was willing to risk dying so that Tailgate could potentially live. So much so, in fact, that Cyclonus gets an achivement- he’s finally collected enough good karma to be allowed to have friends!

Looking mighty fresh-faced there, Cyclonus. And is that a new horn? Someone’s got a plastic surgeon on speed-dial.

No, this is actually the gift that Tailgate made him, the one he was working on in Hoist’s workshop back in issue #15, just before the Overlord attack. The one we never got to actually see, probably because it would be very easy to tell what it was and who it was for if we had. The set up for our slowburn romance has to be just so, no shortcuts allowed.

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 14

oh boy Here We Go, its time to die

ngl I've been putting this off bc I'm not ready to be destroyed hhhhhh

oh god. overlords giant fuckgin face on the cover. I regret everything

ohhh some good ole functionist flashbacks 

is this momus the same guy as senator momus from the shadowplay stuff? lemme say...class traitor

and then some garrus 9 flashbacks, ft chromedome’s snarky interjections. my man you are Not gonna be on the ups much longer oh lord

this is reminding me that I really do need to read the wreckers stuff

chromedome, stop posing jauntily, I'm trying to prepare myself for emotional devastation and you aren't helping 

cd bringin that emo theater kid energy

and here's megatron! well, flashback megatron, but still

megatrons head looks so fuckin weird there

love the thematic (and extremely plot relevant) use of ‘til all are one’ here

WHY is megatrons bucket helmet removable. I hate it 

also overlord is so big gay for megatron its unbelievable 

the name ‘heretech’ is A Lot lmao. right up there w/rigor morphis in the puns category

cd hhhhh this is why you don't talk to your captives in this sort of situation...even to make snappy comebacks, but especially not to TELL HIM YOUR PLAN....now overlords all worked up over megs being alive and yall are screwed

ah, some good old weird birth/re-birth vibes going on here, classic jro

like he literally tells megatron ‘congratulations...its a superwarrior’ god hvbdkhjfbjsf what is it w/jro and pregnancy/birth/reproduction themes

but also like I Kinda Get It bc that IS a pretty intriguing thing to explore w/an alien species like the transformers, who are living machines...ok ill strap on my biologist boots later and get into that when its more relevant lmao 

cd is breathtakingly un-genre savvy here. my man you should have never gotten involved in this oof

overlords weird ab guns are weird

uh no! now overlord is in the drivers seat, and smiling unsettlingly with his creepy lips

its brainstorm!!! I love him

SOUNDWAVE I love soundwave sm he’s just the coolest and best

is that trepan that overlord grabbed? I'm assuming it must be but I have a terrible memory for these things so I don't really remember what he looks like lmao

IS THAT PHARMA

also damn cd rlly b out here committing war crimes/crimes against humanity (crimes against cybertronians? that phrase doesn't really carry over well). the fact that the secret government lobotomy & brainwashing labs populated the ‘good guys’ side is....hhhhhhwow

cant believe cd’s real name is tumblr 

also I love the misdirection from cd not disclosing his ‘real’ name, which leads the reader to think that he’s secretly a different established/important character...but nope!

ahhhh and the reversal of cd and overlords positions in-panel so we can tell that Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong even before we zoom out to see cd in the chair instead of overlord...nice

love how prowl & co made up the whole ‘whiteout vacuum’ thing to lie to the people about overlord...yall really do be breaking moral laws left and right huh

the continuing hilarity of prowl referring to rewind as chromedomes ‘friend’ despite knowing full well they're married...and now that it’s been revealed in-story that they’re married, its just str8 up funny instead of funny AND meta 

is tarn a phase sixer???? genuinely I don't remember lmao

I feel like I could write an essay abt how interesting it is that prowl is so insistent on figuring out the whole phase sixer puzzle and making autobot phase sixers, despite the war being over (and with the autobots having won it, too). like, that's yet another fascinating psychological reaction to the never-ending civil war ending

and the way that prowl is able to rope multiple people into this scheme, which shows that he’s not the only one who thinks that way

aw, bumblebee still has a few morals, unlike most of the rest of anyone. too bad it certainty didn't help anyone in the case of repairing overlord

like, cd is RIGHT, they don't need their own phase sixers - and especially cause like...they won against the cons without any phase sixers already, so whos to say they cant win again the same way? smh prowl 

god I love the exchange here....prowl subtly threatening chromedome, while also calling cd his friend and probably meaning it genuinely, and chromedome looming menacingly over prowl then pinning him down and messing with his head...ooooof. 

also that panel of cd shadowplaying prowl and prowls face is just super blank...sinister as hell, i love it

also also, I'm actually really glad that that plot thread of ‘cd was complicit in what happened to dominus and rewind doesn't know’ didn't end up happening

I also find it a little funny that this very intriguing scene didn't end up going anywhere in mtmte, but from what I've heard the whole ‘cd rearranged prowl’s brains’ thing had big consequences for prowl in exrid or w/e, which is interesting

brainstorm wearing a version of perceptors targeting reticle eye thing...hello....

also I like the fact that they subtly establish when this is taking place by showing brainstorm working on the humansonas, which means this was before the last issue 

drift brainstorm chromedome shaking hands meme: making stupid decisions bc they listening to prowl for some reason

drift, this is Not the way you should be going about showing your dedication to the autobot cause

brainstorm is on a totally different wavelength than cd and drift hvbfdskhfdskjf brainstorm is just here to have a good time and maybe cause some chaos

the tablet saying ‘project: end in tears’ TOO REAL the tears are from ME. AUGH

hhhhhhhhhh the fact that cd did all of this bc he wanted to protect rewind from the war maybe restarting....ouch :( love makes you do stupid things sometimes

I cant get over how h*rny overlord looks...like I cant even describe it, its not necessarily that overlord himself is h*rny, or even that he’s drawn h*rny in the sense that he’s sexy or provocative...he just has those Vibes. this makes no sense except in my head ok

overlord escaped....no way! who could've seen that coming! probably anyone with a brain who isn't blinded by trauma and/or a misplaced sense of duty/love....Ls

AND HERE’S OVERLORD, READY TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP. GODDD

never over the panel of overlord grinning maniacally and cracking his knuckles with the text ‘next: massacre!’ cheerily overlaid 

GODDD this issue god....I mean we haven't gotten to the soul-destroying parts yet but this stuff is so intriguing...the nuance is THERE! and this is basically what we’ve been building up to for all of mtmte so far, and Oh Boy is it gonna be a big one, you can just tell....

[vouched-vulptex]

First Order Villain Analyses

Major Vonreg

Insulting nickname by Poe Dameron: Red Dog

Obviously the red colour is inspired from the Red Baron of WWI, and because it’s a strong colour in the First Order. But also that his interceptor nods back to the Royal Guard interceptors of the old EU. And this is just me speculating, but his name; Vonreg, sounds like this part of Manfred von Richthofen. I’m not sure if this is me overanalyzing like I usually do, or done deliberately on the producer’s part.

And his helmet… that amazing helmet… apparently incorporates the Royal Guard helmet, the clone trooper helmet, and First Order TIE pilot helmet. So, a mix of those three. And this is my headcanon: that unique uniform Elrik (I’d be interested to know how they settled on that name) wears, is because he also works as an occasional diplomat as well as a ranking pilot. I mean, the helmet design isn’t really made to look that intimidating, and he definitely has the voice for negotiations.

Oh boy, I really have a lot to write about him. His design inspiration has so much! Why did they have to kill him off?!?!

Captain Phasma

Insulting nickname by Graballa the Hutt: Creepy Chromium Lady, though of course Finn calls her Chromedome in TLJ as well, but I like Creepy Chromium Lady better. If you understand what I’m talking about, you deserve a sand cookie.

So, all I have to say here, other than that I love how much better she looks in Resistance than even in TLJ, is that it’s interesting the designers went and gave her feminine physique, since in the movies, the chrome isn’t sexualized… And, Mr Johnson, I looove TLJ (If you hate it, that’s totally fine. But this isn’t the place for it), but for so many reasons, you should not have cut out that scene!

Commander Pyre

Insulting nickname by Kazuda Xiono: Goldie

Can I just say how I’m glad they didn’t go full body gold? That would look horrible! It works for Phasma, but Pyre would look like a joke! The black segments actually look cool after I came around to his design. But, come on, how can you not make fun of him like Kaz did with that armour?

That aside, the name Pyre, draws reference from Pyrite, which is a mineral known as ‘fool’s gold’. That should be enough to explain things here.

Btw, I am so convinced he appears in The Rise of Skywalker. I mean if I’m proven wrong, then I’m proven wrong, but I’m crossing my fingers.

Agent Tierny

So, obviously her name is written to sound like ‘tyranny’.

But I do wonder if she’ll get an insulting nickname later in season 2… Think General Hugs in TLJ.

One thing’s for sure. She’s the best villain in the show and looks better than Pyre.

[notwhelmedyet]

For the next time that you have energy for asks, what are your top 3 favorite tf fics and/or fic writers?

top 3 is always hard, because I can think of a top two and then I waffle over a bunch of potential number threes. I don’t think I can pick writers: I know @choomchoom and @owlixowl would make the cut but I’m undecided on a third.

ANYWAY, top 3 fics, in no particular order:

Into the Light by @choomchoom

Everything I want in a fic - it’s long, it’s beautifully written, it’s got a twists and turns, it’s tightly and tensely paced, it’s written by my bestie, it’s got some dratchet goodness that’s really sweet. I love this fic!

Premise: Rodimus is framed for murder before the Lost Light can take off in order to prevent the ship from leaving. He goes to jail and Drift gets himself arrested in order to rescue Rodimus. Everything goes wrong and Drift has to decide what he’s willing to sacrifice to save them both.

A Better Alternative by fulcrumisthebomb

This is one of the first tf fanfics I read and really liked. It’s super sweet and really nails the relationship dynamic between Chromedome and Rewind as I envision it. In my dreams this fic would be longer or get a sequel because I really wish there was more.

Premise: Rewind’s hiding something and Chromedome wants to take care of him, a chronic pain h/c fic.

- and ten that you forgot by @sunderedstar

This story is deeply creepy but so gorgeously written that it had to make the list. My favorite fics are often elevated not by the content they’re covering but by the writing style and I love the writing style in this fic. They’ve also just nailed Chromedome’s personality, the creepy potentiality of mnemosurgery and the Chromedome&Brainstorm friendship at its best. I didn’t think I was going to love this one nearly as much as I did.

Premise: Chromedome’s been working as a mnemosurgeon for awhile now. Doing autopsies. It’s soul-crushing work and he’s starting to unravel from the stress…or is there something more happening?

[zenxenophilia]

Hey blue! I got a question. Which transformers yandere do you consider to be the most dangerous and which least dangerous? And why?

This is so funny, because I legit was thinking about this exact same thing just the other day and was planning to make a post about it!  XD  Here you are, lovelies!  For all your yandere headcanon needs!

Tier 1 Yanderes:  The “baby” or “accidental” yanderes.  They really don’t know what to do with themselves or how to talk to you, so they just end up coming off as kind of weird and needy.  They might even be a little bit intimidated by your charm and your friendliness.  They tend to follow you around secretly and/or spy on you, and you might find a couple of your things go missing, but overall, they’re pretty harmless.  

Threat level: Nonexistent, but still kind of creepy.

Swerve

Skids

Fort Max

Red Alert

Smokescreen

Chromedome

Rodimus

Ultra Magnus

Blades

The Vehicons 

Tier 2 Yanderes:  There’s usually an equal balance of power on both sides.  Maybe you two or already friends, or even dating.  They seem normal most of the time, but there are times when they can come off as slightly controlling or a little possessive.  If they see someone as a threat, they will retaliate in subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) ways.  They tend to be overly cuddly and handsy, but won’t push your boundaries too much. 

 Threat level: Safe, but everyone else had better watch their back.

Deathasaurus 

Prowl

Swindle

Tailgate

Cyclonus

Rewind

Brainstorm

Nautica 

Predaking

Chop Shop 

Chase

Heatwave

Blurr

Tier 3 Yanderes:  They’re bolder and far more cunning than the previous ones.  They feel no shame in spying on you or taking your things.  They spend hours cultivating plans to get their hands on you and get the others out of the picture.  They’ll use whatever tricks necessary to win you over, be it lying, manipulation, sabotage, or even in certain cases memory loss.  Anyone who gets in their way is quietly removed from the equation be it in a peaceful way or not.  Possible chance of getting kidnapped.  

Threat level:  Worrying, you won’t suffer any damage, but you better be looking for a way out.   

Rung

Nightbeat

Getaway

Perceptor

Drift

Ratchet

Optimus Prime

Blackarachnia 

Whirl

Tier 4 Yanderes:  These guys mean business.  They have no qualms about kidnapping you and keeping you as a hostage, or in some cases, a pet.  It varies from individual to individual, but you probably won’t suffer any physical damage, depending on how much they care for you (provided you don’t try to run away, that is).  There’s a lot of intimidation and power play involved and depending on the yandere in question, they might not take no for an answer when it comes to physical intimacy.

Threat level:  High!  You need to find a way to contact someone STAT!

Tarn

Pharma

Kaon

Megatron

Starscream

Soundwave

Shockwave

Knock Out

Lugnut

Blitzwing

Thunderhoof

Steeljaw

Fracture

Lockdown

Tyrest

Tier 5 Yanderes:  You’re fragged.  There’s no other way to put it.  These scary ass mofos don’t know the difference between love and obsession and actually get a kick out of watching you suffer.  If you’re lucky, they’ll kill you quickly after they’ve had their fun, if not…  Well, I hope you have a high tolerance for pain. 

Threat level:  Ultimate!!!  Only a miracle from Primus can save you now!

Overlord

Tarantulas 

Airachnid

Galvatron 

[mittensmorgul]

6.07: Sam’s soul is gone. Oops.

Well, that certainly does explain an awful lot...

(and hello again, Dabb)

Dean objected to Cas’s soulonoscopy on Aaron Birch, but didn’t blink when Cas tried it on Sam. Or on Samuel.

Castiel: Sam, Dean... I have to get back. Dean: You're leaving? Castiel: I'm in the middle of a civil war. Dean: You better tear the attic up, find something to help Sam. Castiel: Of course. Your problems always come first. I'll be in touch.

Cas still hasn’t told them everything he’s fighting in Heaven, and he’s still trying to protect Sam and Dean, but wow learning just how bad he’s already failed Sam has got to be a blow...

Meanwhile, Samuel got a lead on the Alpha Vampire (mostly by killing and torturing lower-level vampires... sound familiar?), and didn’t tell Sam because he didn’t want Dean along on the hunt for some reason... Maybe because Dean is an excellent hunter and Samuel was worried that Dean would “go rogue” and kill the alpha before they could interrogate him... But Dean tells Samuel:

Dean: Big daddy bloodsucker? I ain't gonna miss that. But this is your deal. Okay? I get it. I'll follow your lead. I trust you. [Sam and Dean walk outside alone] Dean: I don't trust him. Dude's hiding something. Sam: What? Dean: I can feel it. And if you weren't Robo-Sam, you'd feel it, too. Sam: Huh. Dean: What? Sam: Just...You. Saying you don't trust family.

This is one reason I LOVE soulless Sam, because it really highlights Dean’s intuition and empathy. Logically, Sam believed that Dean would trust the Campbells BECAUSE they were family, but Dean hasn’t really trusted them right from the start, DESPITE their being family. It’s almost like Sam is getting some real insight into Dean’s intuition here, because for once Dean’s being forced to explain stuff to him that he’d always just assumed Sam understood.

This is the beginning of Dean’s understanding about Family, not just that “it don’t end in blood,” but that it doesn’t START there either...

Gwen: Just, uh, get sick of getting left behind. Think it's probably 'cause I remind him of his daughter or something. Dean: Well, you just speak your mind. Gwen: I'll take that as a compliment. Dean: You should.

(It still makes me grumpy that the khan worm thing makes Dean kill her, but that’s not for a few more days at least. I liked Gwen.)

Meanwhile Dean runs off when he hears gunshots and sees everyone (including Sam) loading the Alpha into a van in chains. And then Samuel lies to his face:

Samuel: Rough, but one alpha down. Dean: Where is it? Want to pay my last respects. Samuel: Well, bring marshmallows. Already on the pyre.

Sam says nothing, just lets Dean believe that lie. But Dean reaches the end of his rope with Sam:

Dean: Things go okay back there? Sam: Fine. Dean: Nothing weird? Dean: I saw you walk that alpha out the door, Sam. Now, call me crazy... But that seems weird. Sam: [Sighs] Oh. Dean: "Oh." Sam: You weren't supposed to know about that. Dean: Know what? Sam: It's just something Samuel's been doing. Catching things, taking them somewhere, grilling them for info. Dean: Grill. Torture, right? And not telling me -- that was his idea? Sam: No, it was mine. Dean: Why? Sam: Honestly? 'Cause you'd mess it up. You shoot first, ask questions later, and we needed to ask questions.

Sam just lies and lies, and Dean’s been using this same “give them enough rope to hang themselves” technique that he’s perfected now in S12-- with Mick, with Sam and Mary. It worked to a degree with Mick but he still had The Code holding him back from revealing the full truth to Dean about Magda. It’s worked to a degree with Sam so far, and I have a feeling that the rest of the truth Sam’s been keeping from Dean will come out soon.

Mary’s a wild card here because she doesn’t even have this baseline background info about Sam and Dean’s lives to even understand how she’s been hurting them by lying to them, and working with the MoL all this time.

And then there’s Ketch. Dean tried this same tactic with him, but he’s operating on a different level, confirmed by Cas’s assessment that “truth can be situational.” Ketch is a master of “avoiding certain truths to manipulate.” And just like with Zachariah, just like with Soulless Sam, Dean’s playing the wait-and-watch game with him. He just KNOWS there’s something far more shady going on, and I think Ketch is a big key to what that is.

I mean, we know more of the truth now after 12.17, that Ketch has been given the order to exterminate the American hunters, but I sincerely doubt that even Mary will suspect him at first. Dean will just know...

Dean: And why? And did it ever occur to you that this is really shady? Sam: He's our grandfather. Dean: Yeah. Yeah, a guy who talks a great game. But you can't assume that family means the same thing to him as it does to us. He's not Dad. Wow. You don't see it, do you?

And Sam really, truly can’t tell the difference. But even Samuel doesn’t fully trust Sam after this. When Sam approaches him to ask about being more involved in the interrogations of the monsters, Samuel denies him. Sam and Dean find the creepy monster prison anyway and break in to find Samuel torturing the Alpha Vampire for information... and the Alpha senses Sam and Dean when Samuel leaves.

He insinuates to Sam and Dean that they are preparing for war. There’s so much war in s6... Heaven, monsters, purgatory...

Alpha Vampire: You smell cold. You have no soul. What an oddity. Do you feel how empty you are? What is it like to have no soul? Answer my question. Sam: You first. You're the one in the cage. Alpha Vampire: The thing about souls -- If you've got one, of course -- is they're predictable. You die, you go up or down. Where do my kind go?

(I just find it ironic that Sam tells the Alpha that he’s the one in the cage, which Sam’s soul is still in the Cage, as well.)

So Samuel has been hired to capture and torture monsters in order to find Purgatory. Interesting that SAMUEL was trusted with this info, while Sam wasn’t. It’s like Crowley knew something was wrong with Sam from the jump, too.

And on top of that Sam and Dean discover Samuel is also doing this for Crowley. And Dean and Sam have been working for Crowley all this time, and that Crowley was responsible for bringing Sam back without his soul...

Dean: We ain't your employees. Crowley: Of course you are! Have been for some time now, thanks to gramps. I don't keep Captain Chromedome around for his wit, do I? Samuel knows things. More than any of you, actually. Walking encyclopedia of the creepy and the crawly. And I knew... You two are so hung up on family-loyalty nonsense, he said jump, you'd get froggy.

AND Samuel apparently knew THAT from the start. Because the only way Sam would’ve trusted Samuel without question was if he was both separated from Dean and not inclined to question family loyalty. And the only way that could possibly happen is if Sam had no soul... I mean, we later learn it was a complete accident on Cas’s part, but really it’s always left sort of vague what role Crowley truly had in the fact Sam’s soul got left behind.

In s12 it seems even MORE relevant, since we know Crowley has studied the Cage in MINUTE DETAIL and it makes us wonder even more if Crowley had been involved in Sam returning without his soul... because he was the King of Hell by that point... Eh, I just think it’s something to think about.

Cas may have been 100% responsible for that, and it may have been truly an accident that Crowley decided to exploit for his own gain by bringing back Samuel.

But now even most of the rest of the Campbell family are either possessed by demons or not trusting Samuel anyway after finding out he’d been working for Crowley all along. And right after having spent most of the year working with Samuel and trusting him entirely because he’s family, Sam’s suddenly instantly ready to kill Samuel without blinking.

Aah, soullessness.

So we end the episode with Dean grudgingly working for Crowley, trying to earn Sam’s soul back. For once Sam’s magical thinking about how to save his own soul has become quite literal. He’s just not doing good deeds and saving people in his attempt to keep his soul pure...

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #11- Soak the Matrix in Lemon Juice and Break Out the Hairdryers

So, small problem.

Prowl realized he was in the wrong comic run and had to split.

But not before yelling at Orion about how stupid he thinks this National Treasure bullshit he’s trying to pull is, and makes a request that Chromedome be left out of this whole mess.

Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell him that?

Bye, Prowl. See you later, I guess.

Chromedome and Roller have brought in some help for the heist from the local college. These students were super gung-ho about stealing the Matrix, not because they’re agents of political chaos, but because the Senator has his name attached to this little project. They feel a certain debt to the Senator, since he’s been doing his best to protect them from the Functionist Council.

Gee, wonder who that truck is.

We get a little rundown of our new friends, while Chromedome has a minor temper tantrum in the background.

Skids is also a member of this group, labelled as a super-learner, enough so that it may not even be a voluntary thing on his part.

In the present day, Swerve’s returned from stealing things from Trailcutter’s room, apparently totally unaware of what’s happened to his roommate. You’d think someone would have gotten in contact with him about that.

I mean, maybe? You did say you liked purple.

Swerve lets it slip that this isn’t the only story time circle Rewind’s hosted in an attempt to get Rung’s brain back up to speed… which makes me wonder just how often the medical staff on board the Lost Light actually check on their patients, if Ratchet had been surprised that this event was happening today.

Swerve makes fun of Tailgate for needing to open up the wiki so he can keep track of what’s going on, then goes over to call Rung the wrong name. Swerve is very lucky Rung is essentially in a coma right now, because that’s probably the only thing keeping him from trying to strangle our resident barkeep.

Whirl helps Rung express himself by playing with his eyebrows, a trait which, now that I think about it, probably only exists for expressive purposes, considering that his eyes are covered by his glasses and we can’t see their shape.

Rewind saves Rung from being played with, perhaps solely because he’s a historical constant.

So you’re saying Rung gets around. Nifty.

Rewind decides that they’ve taken enough of a break and it’s time to get back to the juicy stuff, completely blowing off Ratchet’s professional opinion about what to do with Rung.

Nothing gets in the way of story time.

Nothing.

In the past, Orion Pax is poking Skids in the face, specifically in his mini Matrix tattoo, which is giving him ideas. Skids is a little weirded out, but this isn’t about Skids, now is it? Chromedome goes to pay a visit to a coworker to get things set for the madness that’s about to unfold.

My boy! My beautiful boy!

Yes, Ironfist, before shooting himself in the head and having his spirit broken by the horrors of direct combat, used to be a cop. Everyone’s a cop in IDW, at least for a little while. He’s also missing his faceplate, and isn’t nearly as cute in Milne’s style, but we can’t have it all all the time, now can we?

Chromedome’s feeding into Ironfist’s fanboy nature, pretending to be just as much as a nerd as he is to call in a favor. In exchange for getting Ironfist’s Delta Magnus body pillow back from their boss, Chromedome needs to borrow Ironfist’s one-to-one replica of the Matrix.

I mean, you practically are already, but the sentiment is appreciated. We haven’t gotten to the point where we’re comfortable with thank you kisses yet, and it’ll be a while still.

While the Senator and company gush over Chromedome’s good job, Roller pulls Ratchet and Orion over to the side for a little chat.

Roller doesn’t trust the Senator. He’s done his research, weighed their options, and he really isn’t sure about this guy. Turns out that Orion isn’t the only guy who’s been modified to fit a Matrix without his consent. Honestly, I’m with Roller on this one; that’s mad creepy to be loading the bases like that.

Orion doesn’t really see it that way, though.

Only one of these things was ever a secret, my guy. You worked with Whirl, he was in your precinct for crying out loud! At least he admits to his ignorance.

Back in the present, we check in on Rodimus’ investigation. Looks like we’ve got our answer on who tried to kill Red Alert.

It was Red Alert.

First Aid explains.

Fascinating.

Rodimus fails to see why exactly Red Alert would choose to go this route, because A) he doesn’t know that Red Alert knows about the dirty little secret in the basement, and B) despite probably having depression, may not be the type to have suicidal ideation. It’s true, those types of people exist!

Oh, this is a savior’s complex thing. Nyon really fucked you up, huh Rodimus?

After Ultra Magnus gets Rodimus to stop accosting the doctor, they’re faced with a sort of moral quandary.

IDW’s More Than Meets the Eye! Come for the space adventure, stay for the rumination on whether it’s ethical to allow a mentally ill person the right to self-termination!

After consulting with Drift, because it’s always important to get a second opinion, Rodimus agrees to put Red Alert in cold storage, to remain until their quest is finished and they’re in a place that’s better for his mental health.

Anyway, back to the heist plotline.

Orion breaks down the plan for everybody: the basilica is nearly impossible to break into, but they’re going to do it anyway, because this is the past, and we as the reader already know that things go alright because Chromedome, Ratchet and Skids are still here and Optimus Prime came into being.

Roller will hack the sky spies, make things look all hunky dory, while the rest of the boys magic carpet up to the top of the building.

Looking mighty relaxed there, Glitch.

Glitch is probably sitting down to conserve as much energy as possible, because his job sucks some major chrome- he’s got to keep the detector beams off, using his outlier ability, but it really friggin’ hurts for him to do it. He’s going to have to do it for an extended period of time.

Glitch really got the short end of the stick in all this, didn’t he?

Okay, so I was wrong, Skids uses his grappling hook a fucking shit-ton in MTMTE. Today, he’s going to use it to lower Orion down into the basilica so he can crack open a cold one and steal the Matrix.

Things can never just be simple, can they?

Over on Roller’s end of the workflow, Chromedome’s irritated that he’s got to babysit the Senator. Chromedome spends a good portion of this story arc irritated at stuff, in case you couldn’t tell.

In this case, the Senator agrees that having Chromedome stay back was probably unnecessary. Or at least, he did, until he noticed that the Academy of Advanced Technology is burning to the ground on live TV.

Then the wall explodes.

Things can never just be simple, can they?

Back on the front lines, Orion tags out and Ratchet tags in, because the locks on the Matrix are mad crazy hard to undo and they just don’t have time for pussyfooting around with all that. Ratchet is apparently a master lock pick. Must be those magic medic hands.

Even the Matrix being full of Fiji water is no match for our CMO, as he makes quick work of the bomb and removes it. Hooray! Now we just need to pull him back up and we’ll be all set to leave.

Or at least, we would be, if Glitch wasn’t the dumbest bitch alive.

Ratchet braces for an explosion.

And braces.

And braces.

But it never comes, because Windcharger has magic arms and zero patience for facing his own mortality.

The boys haul up Ratchet and the bomb, fly on out of there, then Orion jumps off the slab they’re floating on because Roller was supposed to call and he hasn’t. I’m going to hazard a guess and say that Roller might be a bit preoccupied at the moment, and it isn’t by the television.

That is a BIG BOY.

“Cleanse and control” was what Trepan’s idiotic tattoo said, so there’s a good chance that our buddy the Senator is about to go the way of Pious Maximus in a minute. Or at least, he would if Orion Pax didn’t embrace is inner monster truck and punch a hole in the big boy holding the Senator like Lennie does a rabbit.

Kroma isn’t one to let the opposite side have all the cards though, as he holds a gun to Roller’s head and suggests that the Senator be given to him, lest we be down a cop in this story that’s simply awash with them. The Senator, being the nice guy that he is, goes willingly to his doom.

Be a lot easier if we knew your name, bud.

The Senator is taken away, but Kroma leaves Orion with the other big boy, and he’s not playing nicely. Orion helps himself by way of domestic terrorism.

But that’s not the end of the story! Oh dear no!

After the explosion, Orion unearths Chromedome, and they make tracks for the Institute. Small issue with that though:

Well, dang.

Thus ends the tale of the Matrix heist, the mysterious Senator, and Chromedome’s awkward relationship with Prowl. Our storytelling session ends with the sound of the alarm, and everyone runs off to see just what the hell’s gone wrong now. Only Skids hangs back to take Rung to the medibay, but not before trying one last thing to help his partner in vent-crawling out.

Man, all they had to do was annoy him and everything would have been fine? Rewind’s going to feel so silly for all that work he put into this.

Back in the past, Orion’s digging through the remains of the Rodion police station, when a robot comes up to him, saying that they have a mutual friend who asked him to find Orion if he ever went missing.

The mutual friend was the Senator.

And the robot is Zeta, who would become Zeta Prima.

The Senator was really playing the field with all these Matrix reformattings.

Speaking of the Senator, he’s just arrived at a The Institute, where they’ve decided to not only shadowplay him, but also empurata his whole deal just to be assholes. He just wanted to be beautiful, on top of conniving, but I guess we won’t be having any of that anymore. Not that it’ll matter.

Because vanity is illogical.

No wonder Whirl’s so goddamn angry all the time.

[thanksjro]

The Mystery of the Transformer Decoys, Parts 7-9: None Of This Would Be Happening If You Had Just Showered Beforehand

Part 7 sees us going back to Charles Ellis, and we’re greeted with the sight of Nightbeat with a gun to his head. This ain’t his first rodeo though, which he demonstrates by kicking the gunman in the shin, breaking a couple of his fingers, taking the gun, and running for it. He bolts for the room where he’d left Getaway and Chromedome, but they’re nowhere to be seen.

The POV shifts, and we get a look at what Triton’s up to.

Triton is a bit of an obscure one. If you know about him, it’s probably through Last Stand of the Wreckers, as one of the members of Squadron X Impactor just super-duper murdered. Before that, his only real role in… anything, really, was being a double agent in the Autobots, sowing discord in the ranks and then promptly dying.

But what’s he doing here? Yelling at Wingspan over the phone for his misuse of the Decoys. He’s putting this whole operation, not to mention Triton’s cover, in jeopardy with his flippant utilization of faction property, especially since the things aren’t even completely functional yet.

Back with Nightbeat, he’s found the note that Getaway left him. Turns out Getaway really does live up to his name; both he and Chromedome made a run for it after they realized that the Decoys were here at the Institute, and had stuffed a memory wipe program into their heads to make sure they wouldn’t be traced back to the situation if they ended up being caught by anyone involved. That’s great for them, but not so much for Nightbeat, who still needs to get out before the Decoys get in.

And, uh, murder him and stuff.

He’s more or less figured out that this is Wingspan’s doing, so now it’s just a matter of catching the guy and bringing him to justice. Because Nightbeat’s horny for truth and justice.

He gets out pretty easily, sneaking through the back door while the Decoys are busy murdering innocents. He gets back to his place, takes some notes on what all’s happened, takes a nap, wakes up, then gets a call on his landline.

It’s Scrounge. Turns out getting on the bad side of a crime lord isn’t so hot an idea, because there’s a huge bounty on Nightbeat’s head. He should probably get out of town.

Then the power goes out. And the front door opens.

Part 8, written by Richard Ahern, sees us in the far-flung year of 2016. It should be noted that the main story takes place 4 million years in the past, before the Ark crash. In 2016, two Autobot detectives walk the streets- Nightbeat and a guy named Flashform. So I guess any sort of worry for Nightbeat’s safety for the next few pages is completely unwarranted, seeing as he’s alive here. Fastform seems to be an original character of Charles Ellis’.

Fastform isn’t a fan of Iacon. Nightbeat starts schooling him on infrastructure, but is interrupted by something rustling around in the garbage. Nightbeat draws his gun, only to be faced with a harmless turbofox. They both feel pretty silly about being scared by such a simple creature, though I’d say Nightbeat has something of an excuse considering that a few tried to kill him.

He starts in on the story we’re currently reading, regaling Fastform with the tale up to the point where we’d left off. Then Fastform asks what happened next.

I’m not exactly sure why this little aside needed to happen. We’d just gotten a recap two parts ago, and it’s not like this story is horribly long.

Back at the plot, we find out who opened the door and scared the bejesus out of Nightbeat. It’s a tiny little fella, and he says that Nightbeat should probably do a sweep of the place before they talk. Nightbeat is, of course, somewhat wary of this newcomer- it’s been kind of a crazy day. The guy tosses Nightbeat a sweeper, they check for any bugging, then the little guy turns on the lights.

In his feet.

It’s Bumblebee.

Bumblebee’s also had kind of a rough day.

Our new friend here wants to make a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” deal; if Nightbeat solves this case, Bumblebee will make sure those hits on him disappear. Nightbeat, agrees, after making Bumblebee sweat it out waiting for his answer. He tells him to have the lights out at Wingspan’s place in four hours. Bumblebee warns him to be careful around Wingspan, because there’s something off about him, then leaves.

Two hours later, Nightbeat’s night has not improved in the slightest- he’s been shot at multiple times, only just managed to call the Security Forces to let them know things are about to go down, and his car’s been completely torched. Now he’s going to have to make it to Wingspan’s place on foot. A guy pops into Nightbeat’s sights and he immediately shoots him, having had just about enough with people trying to kill him.

He makes it to the edge of town with time to spare, entering the warehouse district. After waiting for the allotted time, he sneaks past the guards towards Wingspan’s place, just in time for the lights to cut out. He moves in.

After climbing up the wall onto the roof, Nightbeat breaks in and makes his down to Wingspan’s office. The moment he steps inside, Wingspan appears behind him and attacks. Nightbeat pulls out his gun and fires, but being shot doesn’t do much in the way of stopping a robot puma from using gravity as a weapon. Clearly, this isn’t Wingspan but Pounce who’s just had a go at Nightbeat and is currently dying, but he doesn’t know that. Instead he’s just confused.

There’s no time to investigate that mystery however, because the lights have just come back on. Nightbeat quickly downloads everything he can from the office computer then makes his escape.

Wingspan, who’s in just a horrendous mood, walks into the office shortly after, finding a very dead Pounce. This does not lift his spirits in the slightest. Neither does finding his chain of turbofox skulls has been pilfered. He calls for the guards to break out the Decoys and search for Nightbeat, knowing that only he could have done such a thing.

Smash cut to Nightbeat being chased by Decoys, looking for a payphone to call Security Forces.

Wingspan is fidgeting with the one magic skull he kept on his person- and insurance policy, he says- as he considers what to do next. He seems to decide to cut his losses here, as he blasts his computer into cinders and then prepares to cremate Pounce.

Nightbeat’s in a bad way, having only his lone, crappy civilian gun to face off against several pretty-accurate copies of war-ready robots.

Part 9, also written by Ahern, continues the scene, as the Decoys jump Nightbeat and proceed to thoroughly kick his ass. Trailbreaker manages to snag the skull necklace from around his neck, which make Nightbeat panic and try to fight back harder. The Decoys respond in kind, and he promptly passes out.

While Nightbeat’s taking his third nap in 24 hours, the Decoys begin fighting over the skulls, as each time one of the Decoys comes into contact with one, they get a taste of actual life. The Trailbreaker Decoy manages to scoop up a good handful of the things and runs for it.

This does not end well for the Trailbreaker Decoy. It doesn’t end well for anyone, really.

Meanwhile, over with Triton, we’re watching the news. The media’s already gotten in on the story with the Decoys exploding and fighting each other, not to mention the supposed assassination of Wingspan, beloved Autobot and friend to all god’s creatures. Triton decides it’s time for a holiday and starts packing his bags.

Then Nightbeat wakes up.

But is he still alive? The world may never know.

Nightbeat, ever the professional, immediately hands over the skulls and starts explaining what a fucking crazy couple of days he’s had. He then asks if the blown up bodies Security Forces had come across had been holding any of the skulls. Downshift says that they weren’t, which leads Nightbeat to believe that Wingspan isn’t actually dead.

Two days later- and by this point I’m really fucking hoping Nightbeat’s had a shower because it’s been ages and I’m starting to get concerned- Nightbeat and Downshift are visiting the morgue. They weren’t able to identify Pounce’s body; well, they were, but he only shows up as Wingspan, which we know is wholly incorrect.

But Downshift didn’t just bring Nightbeat down to stare at a dead cat.

Whoa, TMI, dude.

Downshift doesn’t really get why Wingspan would bother with the Decoy stuff if he already has a clone brother. Nightbeat theorizes that it may have something to do with the Decepticons wanting the ultimate double agent- someone who truly believes that they are who their cover says they are.

What is even- what.

Oh my god, he’s real.

Oh my god, he’s got a non-stub article.

Oh my god, he’s fucking precious.

Two years later, we catch up with Wingspan, who’s found himself in a Decepticon camp. He’s here to kill Triton, and he’s got the a-ok from Soundwave to do it.

This is company-sanctioned murder.

He enters Triton’s tent and the threats start. Wingspan’s feeling pretty miffed about Triton having pulled all his funds after the arson, but he figures strangling him to death will make things about even. Then Pounce shows up. Even though he’s dead. And the Security Forces had his body.

Look, don’t think about it too hard, the story’s nearly over. Just remember that Wingspan still had that skull with him when everything went to shit.

In the future, Nightbeat still hasn’t finished telling the story since Fastform asked. He decides its a little too creepy, seeing as they’re already spooked, so they move on to a lighter topic.

Meanwhile, that turbofox that scared the bejesus out of them? Turns out that’s Triton.

…You know, out of all the things I could have run into with this story, fucking DOMESTICATION wasn’t even on the goddamned list. What a dark, disturbingly removed end to this little tale.

That’s not the end of the ‘zine, though. We’ve got a few comic strips.

They’re all about this level of Sunday-funnies humor.

This was alright. I don’t know why Soundwave was cool with that fucking nightmare at the end, but maybe Triton ate his sack lunch out of the break room fridge or something. All in all, I think Roberts’ section grabbed me the most, which I was sort of expecting.

I dunno. I guess I’ve been spoiled up to this point by solidly constructed plotting and storytelling and went into this expecting too much. C’est la vie. At least everyone seemed to have fun. That’s important.

But I think the most important thing to glean from this whole experience is that I would stone-cold kill a man for Bumblejumper. Yeah, I know he’s 15-feet tall and made of steel. That changes literally nothing. And yeah, I know the whole “was it Bumblebee or Bumblejumper” thing doesn’t make any sense. That also changes literally nothing. 

I now truly understand the term “he’s babey.”

Up next, it’s back to the Roberts solo act, as we take a look at the Polyhex Wars.