#I wanna marry this man sb

[janedoe-ing]

things that i encountered in my life personally that just reminds me that men will always be men:

my BEST FRIEND joking about he can belanja me pads and bras (when there is SO MANY things other than that, that he could treat me but then he chose to mention those two first, on the basis of us 'caring' for each other)

my professor joking about why would men wanna marry sb just to lose his scholarship (context: there is a case where a man has been said to lose his scholarship if he gets married in his contract terms, which obviously deprived his rights as a human being [read: Article 5 of the Federal Consitution] ) and then he proceeded to joke about how the Applicant in the case would and rather lose his scholarship, than his own marriage, in his words: "why would you want to be stupid by getting married" and "i'm just joking"

random men that i saw on my faculty STARING at women if they start to wear something showy, sexy, etc.

an ustaz in our school saying he's a man too (indicating he has his needs) when he smelled somebody using a very strong fragrant hand sanitiser in class

one of my club members saying that he couldn't practice family law because the janda's will like him or some shit (can somebody humble this mf down)

also the same guy as above: saying he's excited for the big event only because he wanted to meet girls from private unis

them unfollowing me and leaving me following them as if i wanted to follow them at the first place and these fuckers have the audacity to fucking requested to follow me back??? fuck you!

that one time i was in form 2 and went to a 3 days camp, and my group leader saying that he likes me because i have chubby cheeks (tembam) wtf

my dad cheating on my mom MULTIPLE times despite being a good wife and mother to his own children

my dad finding bitches that are the opposite of my mom (ie: sexy, skin showing females, and god knows what they are)

my dad abusing my mom (literally)

my atok kept asking my wan doing stuffs that he could easily has done by himself and act like he's an infant

my director showing middle finger to me and my bureaumates for screwing up during an event (mind u it was a small mistake and the damage is reversible)

finding men lusting over LITERAL CHILDREN on tumblr

finding men lusting over women and seeing them as objects and not a human being

finding MULTIPLE accounts saying they wanted to rape their sisters/relatives

seeing men on tumblr with these fucking porn bots accounts posting innocent selfies and tiktoks and jerking off to it and saying they wanna rape these girls because 'her mouth looks like it can give a good blowjob and they wanna fuck them so hard they will be crying out to stop and merengek'

finding accounts that are posting pics and vids of women IN PUBLIC (ie: public transport, literally in malls, pasar malam, etc.) minding their own business and taking pics where their bra or panties lines are visible on their clothes AND SELLING IT

finding accounts who uses AI to make a picture of women from fully clothed to being naked, in this case i found m*a sara's and q*sti*a rai***'s pics being used WHEN THEY ARE MINORS CURRENTLY

my BEST FRIEND (yes the same guy previously stated as before) instead of asking me what im doing, he asked me "woi buat apa" "tengah kongkek ke" like ?????? what the fuck

me telling the same guy to teman or help his mom to do some grocery shopping and he asked me why would his mother need any help from him or even need his company.....????? ICK

found out that my granddad actually watched soft porn on youtube on his phone and my uncle watching literal porn on his other phone

me and my sister having to carry a whole ass heavy bed from 2nd to ground floor alone because my fucking dumbass brother didn't want to help

once did a quiz that somehow asked u questions about sex and i personally dm of it at first bcs it was only me and two of my best friends and they answered that they needed more than 2-3 times of sex per week when i only answered average 2-3 at most every two weeks (made me realise so much that they're still men at the end of the day)

(list will be updated from time to time)

[adracat]

Catherine endings ramble

I've made no attempt to disguise my dissatisfaction with most of Catherine's paired endings. Shamir is the only valid choice in my mind simply because it's the only end where Catherine ditches the church whether Rhea lives or dies. There's an undercurrent of her reclaiming her agency and personhood; something I already rambled about in my very level and not at all unhinged Catherine essay on ao3. Trust me, that could have been 10x longer if I let myself.

But enough of the past stuff I've already covered, today I wanna rant a little about her regular unpaired end in the Eng version. Thanks to teaspoon translations, I've finally read the original script without treehouse's gloss. Here's the difference--

Not a big deal, right? WRONG I love that she was known specifically for fighting for freedom of all things once Rhea's gone. Here's a knight who ceded her will and agency entirely to the Church/Rhea as she states multiple times in her supports. She's not her own person, merely Rhea's sword. Something she sadly dies as in CF and SB

I think it's powerful for Catherine to find liberation outside the church. 'Folk hero' is nice and all and implies she swore her sword to the common folk, but freedom? That's something she textually finds/fights for in this ending and they deprive her of it. Now you can say I'm reading into it perhaps, but consider her other endings where Rhea lives. They're all some flavor of remaining in service to Rhea/church or marrying a man under pressure from Rhea. With an icky undercurrent of passing along her crest no less. I dislike those ends intensely because it feels like she's doing the same destructive thing she's always done- relinquishing her agency.

I'm not saying Treehouse did this purposefully, just missing the greater context of Catherine's character... or not caring to the same fanatical degree as me. I am fully aware of my silliness. But in a game that goes to great lengths to illustrate the trappings of absolute loyalty, personal stagnation, and adherence to tradition this ending really feels like a subtle cue to Catherine's mindset after Rhea's death and a misstep to leave out. This reads as an end that would fit perfectly on Crimson Flower in particular, and considering she was initially meant to join that route... I find it interesting and tragic this was glossed over.

Anyway, this difference I also shame Treehouse for changing because I think it's hilarious and kinda intriguing.

Jpn Catherine is unfazed by Shamir and only low-key disappointed she can't use Thunderbrand as a weed cutter. You know, the relic she casually reveals drains your soul with each use? Ma'am—

[sinceileftyoublog]

Shamir Interview: A Post-Lil Nas X World

Photo by Marcus Maddox

BY JORDAN MAINZER

Shamir Bailey is a popstar--yes--but he’s also a pop master. Ever since his electropop debut Ratchet was released in 2015, he’s added a new dimension to his sound on every release. 2020′s self-titled record (one of our favorites of that year) even featured some country crooning, yet another feather in the cap. On his latest album Heterosexuality, out today and self-released, Shamir collaborated with producer Hollow Comet (Strange Ranger’s Isaac Eiger) to make an album inspired by dark, industrial music from Nine Inch Nails to The Haxan Cloak. It’s also the first record of Shamir’s to center around his queerness.

Though Shamir has been open about being nonbinary for pretty much his entire musical career and has talked about his queerness in past songs, Heterosexuality confronts it head-on. “I don’t wanna be a girl / I don’t wanna be a man,” he sings on “Cisgender”, essentially his ask to others to quit pigeonholing him and forcing labels on him. “I’m married to me,” he proclaims on funky bop “Marriage”, an anthem of self-love. Whether intentional or not, you could say Shamir does the same thing with his music by being so effortlessly varied in style and subject. Shoegaze guitars and stadium-sized snares back his blistering falsetto on one song; on the next, he raps. He closes the album with a bossa nova tune. And Shamir is also unafraid to tell stories from other perspectives. Standout “Caught Up”, a club track with acoustic guitar, propulsive beats, shiny synths, and ping-ponging arpeggios, is especially dark-sounding--“I couldn’t wait till I’d be killed,” Shamir sings--until you realize he’s writing a song from the perspective of someone whose friend is dying of cancer. It’s not that Shamir forces these dark thoughts onto himself; rather, his ability to empathize allows him to enter nadirs and come out changed--and with a song.

I spoke to Shamir over the phone last week from Washington, D.C. where he was on tour with Courtney Barnett. Read our conversation below, edited for length and clarity, where we talk about Heterosexuality, Lil Nas X, cold brew, and much more.

Since I Left You: Why did you choose "Gay Agenda”, “Cisgender”, and “Reproductive” as the introductions to the record? Was it to present a newfound aesthetic?

Shamir Bailey: Looking back I probably wouldn’t have done “Gay Agenda” as the first single. The only reason I did is because it’s the shortest song on the record. The other two after that are 5 minutes, but people have been enjoying these 5-minute singles! [laughs] Maybe even more than the 2-minute singles. I definitely feel like the titles “Gay Agenda”, “Cisgender”, and “Reproductive” link up.

SILY: You’ve said this was the first album of yours to explicitly confront queerness. What made now the time to do that?

SB: I’m older and wiser. I think I even had the foresight when I was younger to not tackle something like this until I was fully able to understand how to do it correctly.

SILY: What does “correctly” mean to you in the context of this record?

SB: I don’t think addressing it was the problem, just making an album like this. I’ve talked about my queerness in past records and songs before. I think now what’s different is that I’m not trying to preach anything or teach anything. With the times, people understand a little bit better. When I was first premiered as an artist in 2014, the concept of a nonbinary popstar was very new, and I spent the entire time talking about that. We live now in what I like to call a “post-Lil Nas X world” so being myself as an artist isn’t that crazy anymore. I can talk about my queerness in a way without having to carry the entire community on my back.

SILY: Are you a Lil Nas X fan?

SB: I mean, who isn’t? If you’re not, I don’t trust you!

SILY: A few of these tracks have momentary background speaking or vocal samples. Where did those come from?

SB: That’s Hollow Comet. He likes that. His production isn’t based around clips, but he really likes them in a way that I can’t describe because I’m not him. But when we made the record, he had me make him a YouTube playlist of my favorite funny YouTube clips. He used them. There was one we wanted to have on the record that was distinctive so you could tell where it was from, but we couldn’t get permission. [laughs]

SILY: What’s the inspiration behind the lyrics of “Caught Up”?

SB: It’s an older song. I wrote it in 2016. I was watching this movie [Miss You Already] with Toni Collette and Drew Barrymore, and the Toni Collette character gets cancer, and they’re best friends. It’s so sad. I immediately wrote that song, so then I started thinking about if my best friend since eighth grade were to die. It made me incredibly sad, so the song is about what I would do or how I would feel if I were to lose my best friend.

SILY: What’s the significance of the line “cold brew and ginger beer to get rid of these nightmares” on “Cold Brew”?

SB: I am a cold brew addict. I basically made it my personality the past couple years. That song is specifically about how over the pandemic, on top of COVID and everything, I had just quit smoking cigarettes and weed, so my brain chemical makeup was readjusting. [laughs] For a good couple months, I was having crazy nightmares. I drank cold brew to stay up so I didn’t have to go to sleep and have these nightmares. “Cold brew and ginger beer,” I just liked how that sounded, but they’re two things that have caffeine.

SILY: Do you make your own cold brew?

SB: I do not, but I want to eventually for sure.

SILY: The final track on the record, “Nuclear”, is another aesthetic about-face: a bossa nova tune. What’s the inspiration behind that song?

SB: That song is basically me doing my own version of “This Masquerade” by Carpenters. I love Karen. 

SILY: Are you playing these songs live right now?

SB: We learned a good amount of them, mostly for a session we’re gonna do, but on this tour, we’re doing “Reproductive” and “Cisgender”.

SILY: How was adapting the songs to the live stage this time around?

SB: Not that hard. Now that I know my live set up and have had the same live set up [for a while], I do write with it in mind. We’re only a three-piece rock band, one guitarist, one bassist, one drummer, so it’s a bit more stripped-down live, so I make sure the elements of my songs are still there so the lack of production doesn’t stand out.

SILY: Are you playing “Father”? On its own, that song is pretty stripped down.

SB: No, maybe eventually. We have an opening set, so I just want to do 2 new ones and plenty of self-titled, which I didn’t really get to tour!

SILY: How have the shows been so far?

SB: This was my first tour since the pandemic, so I was extremely nervous hitting the road, but it’s been going so smoothly I’m actually weary. It’s wonderful. [Editor’s note: Unfortunately, a day after this interview was conducted, the rest of the tour was postponed due to a positive COVID case in Courtney Barnett’s touring group.] Everywhere we go, people have been pretty good about wearing masks. It’s basically a quarantine tour, so once we get off stage, we just go to the green room. We don’t sell our own merch or go into the audience.

SILY: Are you the type of artist who’s always writing? Anything you’re working on?

SB: I have a whole other record already written and about a half a record’s worth of songs.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, watching, or reading lately that’s influenced you?

SB: Heterosexuality was the first record where the influence is really clear, since I was working with Hollow Comet. Generally, I take inspiration from everything. Songs come to me. Heterosexuality is my first roughly conceptual album, so it’s funny going back to the older way I used to write. I haven’t been influenced by anything specifically. One of the songs is a really mournful tune about climate change, and another one is a really cinematic love story that’s not even mine, I just had the idea for it after watching It’s A Sin.

SILY: “Abomination” is the first time you’ve rapped in a while. Did you go into the record thinking you wanted to rap on a song again?

SB: Absolutely not. I have so much trauma about rapping, so it was actually really hard for me to do. I remember telling Isaac that I felt like I needed to rap on the song because I couldn’t sing on it, but I didn’t know if I could bring myself to rap on it. I’m glad I pushed myself to do it.

SILY: Do you have any upcoming tour plans?

SB: I’m not that eager to get back on the road. I’m only doing this one because I love Courtney Barnett. 

[ktheist]

pretty girls don’t get hurt | m

synopsis. your mom has been asking you for a grandchild - not even a son-in-law but the baby to said nonexistent son-in-law! and your dad is hitting an age where he can barely work anymore. at some point you’re going to take over his position as the chairman of the family hospital but you know nothing about medicine. that’s where kim seokjin comes in. he’ll marry you and become the chairman so you can keep your ceo position and you’ll get a child out of him too. it’s like killing two birds with one stone.

except there’s one problem: you’ve never met the man and you need him to agree to the marriage first. okay, make that two problems.

muses. heir!doctor!seokjin x heiress!ceo!reader x best friend!heir!taehyung

words. 15.6k

contents. slowburn. sexual tension. impregnation kink. daddy/older men kink. viagra is involved lmao. 

warnings. matured content.

verse. knj. myg. kth. pjm. jjk. jhs. story time.

x

“you want my what?”

seokjin’s jaw hangs loose, brows coming together in a show of frustrated bewilderment. it’s tells you enough that he heard you the first time but then again, you’re not asking him for dinner. you’re asking him for-

“your hand in marriage.” glossed lips curl upwards underneath the pristine white cup of hot coffee from the vending machine.

you watch as his widened eyes narrow. lips smack together and finally anger settles in the muscles of his hardening expression. “you’re joking.”

it’s understandable that he’d feel offended. even more so when it’s coming from a stranger who strode right into his office and introduced herself as the chairman’s daughter - the ceo. that’s probably the only reason he agreed to spare you his time - and you’re spending it for this.

it’d be a lie if you say you weren’t surprised that he didn’t know the ceo of the hospital he’s working at but judging from the way he treats you, like he has better things to do - lives to save, you know he’s that type of person. the mad scientist version of a doctor. doesn’t attend annual dinners. doesn’t take off days. he’s perfect.

“dad’s getting old and he needs someone to succeed him but i don’t know anything about medicine - i’m more of a businesswoman and the board wants someone of a clinical background to continue the tradition. if it were up to me, medical expenses would be much higher per patient but i’m also not a capitalist so i need someone on the field to tell me how things are at the hospital so we don’t overcharge nor do we undercharge.”

his eye is twitching at the end of your words and his jaw is clenched in suppression of agitation. at this point, you’re going to have to keep it short so not to drop the whole bomb on him before he himself explodes. “so how bout it? you marry me and become the next chairman and i’ll take care of all the non-clinical related matters. if you were to decline... i can’t guarantee things will remain the same after dad retires.”

“my break is over. it’s nice meeting you miss ___ but i hope we don’t run into each other again.” the chair screeches backwards when he stands up abruptly before you can even finish your sentence. he didn’t even check the time when he swipes his phone off the table and slips it right into his pocket. his words are as clear as day: this is the first and last time we meet.

“you still have ten more minutes, doctor kim.” for some reason he hasn’t stormed off - dare you say, he’s even taking what you said seriously - good. because you’re not here for a laugh either. you meet his heated gaze with ease. “i’m not sure you understand but you’re the cinderella and i’m the prince charming.”

you take out a single midnight scented card and slide it over to seokjin. “and this is a proposal, not a blackmail. call me when you’re ready to talk about the terms for the prenup.”

x

it’s been a week since you left your card with seokjin.

now, sitting in your office, the scene keeps replaying in your mind like a broken record. a scream erupts in the otherwise pleasantly silent room as you slump in your seat, hands digging into your hair as though if you rub your head hard enough, the memories would fade away. “taehyung, how did i even get that confidence? a prenup? he didn’t even say yes!”

the aforementioned man spares you a glance from the couch he’s lying on before going back to typing away on his phone. it’s probably yuju - one of his recent acquaintances. if you remember correctly, she’s the daughter of sbs’ ceo.

“boys are simple minded beings, give it another day and he’ll call you.” he casually assures, this time not even look away from his phone.

the sleek back hair and black button down underneath seokjin’s white coat flashes at the back of your mind. you don’t see that many doctors wearing something that needs ironing to work that often. sure there’s a dress code but your dad isn’t strict about it - all that mattered to him is the quality of one’s work. for all he cares, these doctors can come to work in pj’s. it’s you that had to make sure they don’t come in pj’s. collared t-shirts are acceptable. so are sneakers instead of heeled shoes. but kim seokjin was nothing less of button down, a well made tie and polished black shoes.

it shows that-

“he’s a man, not a boy.”

this time, taehyung’s fingers freeze on the screen before he turns his cheeks to you with an unfazed expression - as though he’d expected this but still got disappointed when he hears it. “so it’s his age? you wanna marry him because he’s nine years older than you?”

there’s something about the way he singles out the reason you decided it was seokjin, that makes you look away in shame. but you still force out a laugh in a last ditch attempt to brush it off but it sounds awkward in every octave. “ha ha ha ha what are you talking about? he’s the most eligible marriage prospect - that’s why.”

“there’s another one.” he points out. still unconvinced, “that suho guy - he’s also a fellow. also an only child-”

you speak over him,“-but his background is so-so. civil servant parents. went to an ordinary school. you think he’ll adapt to the pressure as quick as seokjin?” suho’s smiling picture peeks from underneath the documents you’d been reviewing before the flashback of your bold proposal comes and haunt you. it’s his resume along with every physician working at the hospital for more than eight years, that you’d obtained from your dad’s secretary. “you know whoever becomes my husband and assume the chairman position is gonna get chewed out alive by the board. it has to be him - it has to be seokjin.”

a sigh echoes from somewhere across from you as taehyung sits up, brows furrowed together as he rubs his head as if it’ll make the the problem go away. “yeah, but he left the social scene a decade ago. you think he’ll walk back in just like that?”

“his records have been nothing but remarkable. he sticks around and works overtime. he’s been one of the most consistent physicians that worked on every holidays. doesn’t take off days. basically a workaholic who loves his job way too much - he doesn’t need to enter the social scene. not when i’m his wife.” a grin spreads across your face by the end of it - all this time, you’d been reading the report about him but once you’ve actually put it in words, the chances of him saying yes seems to sound more real, “he’s gonna keep working as the chairman and ignore anything the board says. he’s perfect.”

“yeah, okay let’s say he is perfect and there’s no reason for him to say no except one,” taehyung pauses for a more dramatic effect, lips twitching upwards slyly as if he knows it’s already got you on the edge of your seat, “what if he has a girlfriend he wants to marry?”

and that’s when your world comes crashing down like waves against the rocks but you don’t like the smug look on taehyung’s face, “yeah but with his schedule, it doesn’t seem like he has one.”

“you never know - they could very well be living together. plus, it’s not like he has to report his dating life to the hospital and he seems like a private enough man to keep it on the low even from his colleagues.”

his words are barely registering but the longer the second stretches on with your thoughts running wild, the faster your heart seems to race. but one thing’s for sure. taehyung’s here because you’re supposed to be discussing the partnership.

“if you’re not gonna talk about work, then get out.” your eye visibly twitches - all of a sudden your best friend since you were in diapers’ presence serves more as a nuisance than a blessing.

“you’re mad, aren’t you?” a grin spreads across his lips before he bursts into laughter - he’s the only person that would laugh in the face of death, “man you’re full of ego - i guess you should be. i mean, if all else fails, he might just say yes because of your face, right, sparky?”

he’s using that nickname he used to call you when you were kids. your love - or as taehyung would put it, obsession for shines and sparkles in diamonds peaked at the age of ten thanks to your mom’s hobby of collecting dimes. she’d sold everything off after she got bored of them and needed space for the arts she bought - her new found hobby. but you remained true to your love for diamonds and symbol of riches and bought half of her collection.

over time, he starts using it less and less and only for reasons to get a rise out of you. where did that cute boy who called you sparky because he thought you were as pretty as the diamonds, go?

all he is now is a devil incarnate. with that height and silly grin of his, he easily antagonize you. and you always give in. 

“you’re supposed to be on my side and give me assurance!” you toss a balled up paper, aiming right in his face but instead of hitting the mark, he easily catches it.

“how’s this for assurance? you’re only gonna hurt yourself if you throw a ball like that.” he picks his blazer off the handrest and makes a beeline for the door when he senses the smoke coming out of your ears, “i’m late for my date, see you later!”

x

it’s exactly fifteen hours later that you receive a call from seokjin.

instead of meeting up at the cafeteria, he’d directed you to flower child, one of the most coveted fine dining restaurants in seoul two days after the call. it turns out he’d made a reservation - and you’re no fool to the long waiting line to get a table. he must’ve booked it some time after your first meeting.

he’s made some effort into putting on a black blazer and matching pants. hair styled to perfection. he may have cut his family off but he hasn’t completely abandoned the way he lived up till a decade ago. you allow yourself to check him out once - when he’d stood up at your arrival and pushed the chair for you.

thankfully, you’re not too underdressed. a creme blouse and grey pencil skirt suit any kind of formal setting.

“have you thought about what you want to include in the prenup?” you ask after the server leaves with your order.

seokjin seems more collected this time. or maybe it’s the incense and dimmed lighting that gives off a more suitable atmosphere to talk about marriage.

either way, you don’t expect the man to chuckle - a short, wistful one. as though he truly, honestly believes- “why would you want to marry an old man like me?”

you know what he’s asking: there’s got to be a catch. straightening your back and crossing it over your chest loosely, you decide to come clean - the full truth. “you’re only thirty-four but i won’t lie - you have a price on your head, doctor kim.”

the server comes back with a small cart and a bucket of chilled red wine. you wait until he pours a third of both glasses and goes away. but seokjin doesn’t appear all that eager for your elaboration - it’s almost as though he’s already known. or at least expected that much.

“your mother is willing to pay anyone who marries you a whooping ten million if the lucky bride brings you back to your family.” you watch as he studies the density of the wine, twirling the glass gently with a sort of tilt on his lips like a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes, “but i won’t make you reconcile with your family. i’ve told you my intentions - i need someone who knows the ins and outs of the hospital since don’t have any clinical background and it’d be easier if we were husband and wife.”

it’s in that moment that seokjin tears his eyes off the wine and captures your gaze. in the absence of the sunlight, those brown eyes appear more black, reflecting the dancing fire on the incense. you feel naked and bare as he wedges his fingers in and tear open the windows to your soul. “don’t you have someone you want to marry, miss___? someone you love?”

taehyung’s silly grin flashes at the back of your mind like a solar flare you can’t erase - all you can do is wait until dies out on its own. you don’t realize your unfocused gaze is directed to seokjin in the split second you wait for your thoughts to gather itself. redirecting your gaze to the wayward reflection in your own glass, you let out a breathy chuckle. “yeah, well.”

it’s pathetic and embarrassing but you can’t even conjure up proper words. instead, you bring the wine to your lips, preferring to taste the bittersweetness of the wine than that of your own reality.

x

all you talk about for the rest of the night is matters pertaining the marriage. what he’ll have to endure and what he won’t have to endure. he doesn’t need to attend any of the social functions even if you’re married. doesn’t also need to concern himself with matters about his family - it becomes tricky when his family catches news of their only son’s marriage and want to be there for the ceremonious day.

“i don’t know what’s going on with you and your family but they won’t be invited if you don’t want them to be.” you fix him with one of your smiles. a tilt in the corner of your lips and a languid flutter of your eyelids before meeting his gaze. it always works - takes away the essence of the conversation and makes them focus on you so if he wants to throw your words back at you, there’s a leeway you could escape to.

until you couldn’t.

“it’s fine. i’ve been running away for the last few years - it’s time i face them head on.” he looks up from the steak he’s cutting - you still haven’t recover from the time he’d look at you in the eye and effortlessly tore your defenses like it was paper but there he does it again, splaying out your scheme like a dish best served hot, “besides, they won’t be invited but you can’t- no, you won’t stop them from showing up, right?”

it’s true. his family isn’t just any normal family. his father is a ceo of one of the most prominent cell phone companies in the world after all. you’d be invincible if you’re in good terms with your in-laws. or at least, if they think you’re on their side and want to help them get their son back.

but seeing as nothing gets past seokjin, you’re only left to either evade the question or full out deny it to keep your pride intact. either way, both options will only serve to confirm his suspicion - he may already know what you’re up to but verbalizing it is a different kind of pride-crushing. your lips curl into a smile - an irony of having been cornered in every direction from the man you thought you could wrap around your fingers.

but because your pride wouldn’t allow you to look like a fool and your ethics wouldn’t allow you to tell a flat out lie (half truths are alright), you decide the first option is much better. “there’s one more thing - i want to get pregnant within the first year of our marriage.”

or else, you’re going to end up like your parents - their bones weren’t as strong as they used to be by the time they got you and their souls were withered from the works they’d put on in their better years of their lives. your mother’s life was risked by the late pregnancy. still, they tried to love you better but there were things you couldn’t do with parents who were hitting 50 before you even reached high school. you couldn’t go camping or bike riding or fishing like your grandfather brought your father to.

it seems to have caught seokjin off guard when he stares at you with wide eyes a tad longer before dropping his head and chuckling to himself, “my, i don’t know if i still have it in me.”

and that’s how you know he’s messing with you - perhaps it’s his own way of reminding you that he’s too old for you and if he’s lucky, it’ll scare you away from the idea of marriage altogether. but the fact that he’s trying to make you give up means that he’s agreeing to the marriage. you let your lips curve into a smile, adrenaline rushing through your veins and into your very core.

you absolutely can’t wait to get married.

x

the marriage will be held within five months - it’s the earliest you can get. it’d be suspicious if you just suddenly got married without any scandal or news of dating the estranged only child of the kim family. you’ve already hired a reporter to follow you during your first three ‘dates’ - they may very well be the only dates you go on together judging from your packed schedule. it’s been almost a week since that dinner and you’ve made plans to appear in public together - your first date.

rapping your knuckles on the door, you wait for the light on the handle to turn from red to green - a signal that the owner’s allowed you access. “hey, you ready?” is the first thing you say, even though you know he’s not.

“miss ___, i’m sorry i was working and didn’t realize the time.” he seems to be genuinely apologetic - and there’s an x-ray film and some papers strewn over his desk to verify his claim. “i’ll freshen up and -”

his brows lift in surprise when you lower yourself on his lap just as he pushes the chair backwards to stand up. the usually gelled light brown hair falls over his face in a messy middle part and his button down is less crisped than when you saw him the first time. granted your first meeting with him was at noon - it’s not enough time for the demands of his career to dishevel him. it’s evening now.

his jaw slacks just the slightest bit, resulting for his lips to part - you’ve noticed their plump fullness and it’d be a lie if you said you didn’t wonder about how they’d feel on yours. the taupe acrylic on your thumb digs into the soft pink flesh of his lips before it travels to his chin.

“may i?” two words. and that’s all it takes for something lustrous to take over his eyes. you find yourself smirking when he stares quizzically as your hand leaves his face and brings his own between your lips. his fingerpads are callous from years of surgical training but they don’t tremble under the touch of your tongue. his digits are lengthier than you expect them to be. his middle finger hit the back of your throat easily before you can get them all in but he’s not the only one that’s received training.

you switch to his ring finger, tongue gently curling around it before you drag your teeth over the ridges of its joint. as a finishing touch, you make sure to lick the bottom of your lips all the while holding his gaze. then, you allow the smile to grace your lips as though nothing happened but the way you pretend to struggle to get up, causing your ass to rub against his arousal - defeats that false sense of innocence.

either way, his surprised expression turns to an amused one as he chuckles a low chuckle - an admittance of your victory, “my, i just lost, didn’t it?”

“whatever do you mean?” you blink, lashes fluttering with feigned innocence.

x

articles are starting to pop up after your personal reporter uploaded hers. it’s not enough to shake the world but it’s enough to catch the eyes of secretaries which in turn tell their bosses and as a result, your phone’s been blowing up and your own secretary has been taking calls since this morning.

“___, you’re leaving already?” taeyeon cups the mouthpiece of the phone she’s been on for the last five minutes, alarms going off in her eyes at the thought of your absence. you don’t blame her - from the way the conversation seems to be going, she might just drag the whole telephone all the way to your desk and make you answer them.

business proposals must be pouring in. you feel bad for your secretary but to be frank, the instant ringing as soon as she held up the last call - has been bothering you to no end as well.

you grin sheepishly, “i got a meeting with dad.” it’s just a coincidence that your dad called you to his office today - he usually does every once in a while just to ask how you’re doing and lament about having to handle your mother’s random burst of hobbies she’s getting into ever since you moved out.

looks like nobody’s noticed the ‘rumor’ yet from the way the workers in the administration department bows and greets you on your way to the office. granted, these people are too devoted to their work to pay attention to the latest business scandals but you expected at least one person to be blowing up the group chat with pictures of you and seokjin’s first date.

there’s a familiar figure leaning against your dad’s desk but no trace of the elder man - he must have went to the washroom or something. you thought it odd when taehyung’s eyes fall on you without the usual grin he would usually offer whenever he sees you - like reflex. at first, you assume his own date with yuju probably didn’t go very well.

“hey, loser. this is the first time you’re here earlier than me.” you fix the man your own grin, happy to be able to see not one but two of your favorite persons. taehyung’s been coming over to play at your house since forever. it was normal for your dad to invite him to his office and take you two to lunch now that you two have grown up.

...until you notice your dad on the couch and another person sitting adjacent to him. it’s easy to miss people when they’re sitting down and easier to have your eyes focus on taehyung’s tall frame.

the tension almost crushes your lungs as soon as you walk through the door. it becomes apparent all too soon that taehyung tried to warn you with his eyes to not be your usual idiot self. now, you’re paying the price for it as all eyes fall on you.

the third person in the room turns his cheek towards you - seokjin. he offers a too polite smile as you come to a stop next to the couch he’s one.

“daddy?” all of a sudden, you’re a child in a room full of adults and calling your out to your dad, as if it would somehow make him explain this situation you just walked in.

the elder man releases a long drawn sigh before speaking, “i’d like a word with my daughter and doctor kim, if you don’t mind, taehyung.”

“sure, uncle.” the aforementioned man offers one of his gallant smiles, pushing himself off the desk without taking out his hands from his pockets.

you grab onto taehyung’s arm as he’s about to pass you - pleading with your eyes for him not to leave you, a mere ant, with the elephants in the room. that’s when his serious facade falls through and he’s grinning at you like a brother would to his sister when he knows she’s going to get in trouble with their parents. your temple throbs with a burst of rage but before you can say anything, he’s already out of the door.

the sweetness of the tea mrs. nam served is tasteless compared to the tangible tension in the air. it’s become apparent that while the more tech savvy staff remain clueless of your updated dating status, your father, is not.

be it as it may, guess you should give credit where it’s due - seokjin’s expression is free of any tautness. it’s perfectly neutral - it’s frightening. you know for a fact you’re not saved from a hard line on your glossed lips and a crease between your brows.

“i heard from my wife that you two are dating.” the elderly man finally breaks the silence.

he’s addressing your mom like that so to make it known that he’s talking to seokjin too - and you’re not the only one in hot water. but seeing as it’s your idea and your proposal, it’s also your responsibility to respond-

“that’s correct, sir.”

-but seokjin beats you to it. it’s not just his expression but his tone is completely at ease. almost as though he’s faced tense situations like this one too many times.

you breathe out before speaking, “i was going to introduce doctor kim to you and mom once we bought our engagement rings.”

your dad finally looks up, eyes wide and mouth slacked for the briefest second before his eyes flutter close. now’s about time for him to be rubbing his temples from the headache but instead, he lets out a sigh. for a split second, you see your dad for the age he is - not the age you remember him as in your earliest memories. wrinkles and smile lines and graying hair.

the seconds stretch on as do the silence. you can hear the distant ringing of the telephone all the way from mrs. nam’s desk from outside, almost clearly.

once your word settles in, then comes the million dollar question, “do you two love each other?”

it’s a no brainer. anyone with eyes can see and answer that for you - or perhaps taehyung already told your dad since he must have gone through a similar interrogation session. and yet, it’s only natural to want confirmation from your own daughter instead of her best friend even though he knows everything about her.

this can only go two ways: yes or no.

but you’ve never been fond of flat out lying, especially to the man who taught you such principles and you’ve talked about marrying for convenience with them ever since you realized that ambitions tend to reward but cheap sentiments like love does not.

yet your chest feels heavy having to go against your parents’ wishes and hopes for you - they want what any parent want for their child. happiness. “no, we don’t.”

“but no one enters into a marriage with divorce in mind. i don’t plan on just being a husband to your daughter just on paper. i’ll care for miss ___ and treat her the way like a queen. that much, i promise, sir.” seokjin holds your dad’s gaze - it’s haunting and charming, you would know. you’d been on the receiving end once too many times already. and you know that’s how he gets your dad.

the older man nods, shoulder line relaxing almost as though he’s been lifted off a dead weight. he’s not the only one - you don’t realize you’ve been holding your breath until you feel your own muscles loosening and you’re breathing out in relief.

until his head snaps up to point out one thing, “you’re getting married yet you’re not on first name basis?”

x

“sorry to rope you into family drama, i’ll be more prepared next time so you won’t have to leave your work.” is the first thing you say once you’re in the elevator. your dad has made sure to grill you to half-death with his questions. he’s gonna give the immigration a run for their money. the first name basis matter is just the beginning of a series of dread -

‘what’s my daughter’s favorite color?’

‘dad, do you even know my-”

‘shh. do you know my daughter still wets the bed at the age ten?’

‘dad!’

seokjin had taken your dad on in stride. he chuckled when your dad said something ridiculous, borderline false and he listened on when your dad went on about the sob story of a ‘poor father with an undefeatable daughter’. but the way he did it was so effortless - almost as if he was a boyfriend visiting your parents and getting told all the embarrassing stories of your childhood and would tease you about it but at the end of the day, tells you he thinks the kid-you was cute - bed wetter or not.

there’s something that restricts your airway at the thought of sharing a feeling so strong with someone. in no time, you push the intimate image away. you and seokjin aren’t like that - this is marriage is strictly convenience-based.

“i asked a friend of mine to cover for me.” so he knew it’d be long but he didn’t actually said it was okay either. marriage is a tricky subject especially for someone as work-crazed as seokjin. you’re surprised he hasn’t cursed you out for making him miss work. “is it red?”

“what?” you blink, steps halting as you stare up at him with what starts to be mindless curiosity but ends up with a stretched on pause as you study the man’s visage. the plumpness of his lips is a given- it’s the first thing you noticed about him.

“your favorite color.” the corners of his lips lifts upwards before he includes his assertion, “you’re always wearing something red - your lipstick was red when we went for dinner. you have a red blouse on now.”

 even you didn’t know you have so much red. but it’s true - your functions and meetings wardrobe consists of red and black predominantly besides the more neutral pastel colors. you have a higher success rate of getting sponsors when you wear the tight fitted red dress.

but it’s not a preferred shade per se.

“no,” you chuckle, “my favorite color is yellow, like the banana.”

seokjin’s brows rises at that. he probably didn’t expect that - nobody expects the fierce and confident woman to like such a bright, clarifying color. “though i understand why you think it’s red.”

his lips curl into a smile - the kind of smile that mimics your own, not the one that he wears to charm your father. though that one was also genuine, this one makes him feel younger. like someone you can crack silly jokes with instead of the ever uptight working man.

before he manages to say anything, your name reverberates across the lobby. taehyung’s shrugged off that ugly grey checkered blazer of his and left it at the sofa as he mini run towards you. the grin on his face gradually falls off when he notices the lack of smile on your face.

“you left me for dead!”

he blocks your fist with a hand around your wrist before sighing as if you’re not just directing every ounce of energy in that punch of yours - but then again, none of your smacks really get to him.

“i didn’t know uncle was gonna ask me about that - i thought it was gonna be the usual lunch. i mean, come on, i waited for you down here even though i have work to do so i can make sure all your limbs are intact!” he looks like he almost meant it. almost.

it’s in that moment that seokjin’s remark reminds you that he’s still there, “you two must be close.”

“huh?” taehyung narrows his eye at you as though you’re no more than gum under his shoes while you whip your hand out of his grasp and scoff.

“nah, i’m her only friend.”

“it’s because he doesn’t have any other friend.”

you both say at the same time.

at least seokjin’s still able to laugh with all the intention-to-kill in the air. before you can elaborate on how taehyung kept following you around like a lost puppy when you were younger, seokjin’s hand finds its way around your shoulder, you thought it odd that he needs to pat on the shoulder farthest from him but it turns out he’s pulling you towards him but by the time you realize it, you’re already craning your neck to look at him. but you barely notice the awkward position of his lips on the spot just above your left eyebrow - his lips really are soft. and warm.

and gone.

before you know it, he’s pulling away, saying something about seeing you later - you couldn’t hear it from the blood rushing in your ears and the heat rising on your face. it’s only after you see his white coat disappear around the corner do you finally take notice of the slyly grinning fox in front of you.

“what did i tell you? simple-minded beings.”

x

you still don’t know why seokjin kissed you on the forehead.

sure, he told your dad he’s not planning to just be a husband on paper - okay. but he’s nowhere near a husband to you yet and you haven’t even given him an engagement ring. it doesn’t help that your heart keeps racing every time time the image of his sharp jaw and pursed lips before he kissed you, plays at the back of your mind.

he smelled good too - like aftershave and lemon and a hint of disinfectants.

before you know it, you find yourself rapping on his door eight minutes past 7 in the evening. after a whole solid minute of the red light on the door handle remaining the same color, you finally let out the breath you’ve been holding. it’s supposed to be past his shift but judging from the lack of response from the other side of the room, you know straight away that he’s still at the wards. it may have been an impromptus decision but now that you’ve walked the distance from your office to the other end of the building, you might as well go the extra mile and actually look for him. 

most of the nurses and doctors that pass you recognize you, bowing briefly before hurrying to where they were heading before they saw you. you rarely visit the cardiology department - or any other department for that matter because it’s always a hassle for the staff to prepare to greet you. in that aspect, you agree with seokjin - that they could be doing something better than pushing their schedules on their colleague to accompany a sightseeing vip.

“miss ___?” a young man around your age calls, his brows furrow at the idea that his eyes could be fooling him but when you turn to him, his eyes light up in pleasant surprise, “it really is you. why - i didn’t know you were visiting today.” 

“doctor kim,” you don’t forget a face easily - right before you is kim suho. the smile that stretches when you recognize him is telling enough. his past achievements are definitely to brag about and he must have attended the annual dinner if he recognizes you, “good evening. this isn’t an official visit - actually, i’m looking for someone. do you happen to know where doctor kim seokjin is?”

“seokjin?” he repeats the name with a sort of familiarity, coupled with confusion. of course, he’s probably wondering what the work-crazed doctor did to have the ceo come all the way to the wards.

“miss ___?” it’s feels almost deja vu - having your names called out by two different people within the span of five minutes. both sounding equally confused but for different reasons.

“good evening,” you fix seokjin one of your alluring smiles, heart skipping a beat - it’s probably the stethoscope hanging over his shoulder. it compliments the collared button down and white coat, look you usually see him in, “i went to you office but you weren’t there so i came here.”

“let’s talk in my office.” he clears his throat, eyes drifting to look to somewhere on his left before he stops himself. if it’s the whispering nurses at the counter he’s worried about - he shouldn’t be. because you’re about to put a ring on it.

x

“sorry, i was doing my last rounds but the patient was a chatty one - i lost track of time.” he says, walking into the office and setting the stethoscope down on his desk before he takes a seat behind it.

you notice the way his eyes travel from your perfectly pinned up hair down to your diamonds adorned neck down to the halter strap of your elegant maroon dress that wraps around your body flawlessly. but he doesn’t say a word - and you’re forced to school your expression to not show your surprise and hurt when he doesn’t even let his gaze linger for any longer than necessary as he meets your eyes again.

you take out the suede velvet box from your purse and place it right in front of him. “it just came in, why don’t you try putting it on?”

his eyes twinkle with a surprise not because of the foretelling shape and characteristics of the box, nor the affirmation of the silver band inside it but because it sits snugly around his ring finger when he slips it on.

“how did you get my size right?” the impressed tone laced in his voice makes your chest swell with pride and lips curl into a smirk.

it only takes him a few seconds to interpret your smirk - that time in his office. the ghost of his digit on your tongue still lingers. it wasn’t just for show and you weren’t cruel enough to put a man through that misery if you didn’t have your own reasons.

he shakes his head, ring bluntly glinting as suppresses his chuckle with his hand.

your heart is beating too loudly in your chest - there’s something in the way he’s bearing your claim but you still manage to sound leveled and collected. “since we’re officially engaged, do you mind if i call you seokjin?”

“i’d like that very much, ___.” he’s finally dropped the suffix. ms. this, ms. that. you’ve gotten used to it but it serves to enforce the invisible line between you and him when he addresses you so formally.

your phone buzzes in your purse - it must be taehyung. you didn’t expect to spend longer than ten minutes but he must be waiting at the lobby if he’s texting you now. standing up, you bid him a parting “have a nice evening, seokjin.”

he doesn’t seem like he has anything on his mind but just as your hand covers the handle of the door, he speaks up, “once we’re married, could you refrain from going to these functions?”

it takes you off guard. like a spear that pierces you just as you lay down your armor but you’re not one to let something like this get to you, “i’m afraid that’s not possible.” and that’s it. it’s final.

but you should have known when you decide to use that practiced icy tone, that seokjin wouldn’t just back off the way almost everyone would. the only people who would still have the gal to say something or dismiss it are your parents and taehyung.

“i know you expect me to be an obedient husband and become chairman and do my job. it shouldn’t matter if you attend these functions since you’re not forcing me to go with you.” and there’s those eyes again. tearing into the soul of your window and stripping you bare the way only kim seokjin could. “but marriage is about compromise - giving up one thing for the other. i’m gonna inherit my dad’s fortunes and you’re gonna get that 10 million my mom promised. shouldn’t that be enough to get the projects for the hospital rolling?"

when he says it like that, it seems so easy and simple. “no wonder you’re a doctor. you don’t know a thing about maintaining a sustainable business.” you let your lips curl briefly, “but i’ll think about what you said.”

then, you’re out of his office. heels clicking against the floor as you make your way to the lobby and into taehyung’s familiar sleek black burgatti.

x

“so he asked you to stop coming to these functions.” the car rolls to a stop right in front of the hall where the birthday party of seollyu’s president is held.

“in essence, yeah.” you say after he comes around the car and your hand automatically tucks itself in the crook of his arm.

“then why are you mad?” the car purrs behind you before the valet takes it somewhere to park it.

some of the reporters at the entrance calls your and taehyung’s names in an attempt to make you look at the camera. there’s too many and the lights are blinding - you just want to get into the hall quickly. at least they won’t be able to follow you past the doors.

“i just - i don’t like that he’s asking me to change, you know? just because i’m married, i won’t get to do the things i usually do before? that’s just bullshit.” you huff in frustration - not bothering to hide your stiff eyebrows and slightly pursed lips all the while you have your pictures taken. at best, they’re going to slander you with jealousy over taehyung’s new budding romance.

“i mean, he did cut his family off and stopped going to these things.” the man shrugs, “maybe he has a good reason - did you even ask him why?”

and that’s how you know you’ve lost the fight. taehyung’s too sensible - naturally, he wouldn’t have his own startup at such a young age, if he isn’t the way he is now. but you don’t want an analyst - you want a friend who would listen to you and let you vent your frustrations before finding the root of the problem and suggesting the solution.

taehyung knows this and he knows plenty of many things, having been your childhood and best friend all in one package. but because he knows you too well, he also knows you’ll end up doing something you would regret if he were too late to point out your mistake. sometimes you want to prove him wrong - that you can call the right shots when it comes to people without having him paint a picture for you to foresee the outcome but so far, there’s limited exhibits of your success. your failed past relationships being the prime examples.

“i hate it when you’re right.” you grumble, letting your hand fall to your side - usually you wouldn’t mind having to cling onto taehyung like a child. you’re all the other has in these functions - everyone has their own reason for attending and just like absolutely everyone, you approach people because of what they can give you. that’s why you see groups of people your age flocking together - they grew up trained to sniff those with ill intentions and those with a mutual interest.

and usually, they’ve known each other at a very young age - the way you knew taehyung for as long as you can remember.

you have other friends too - or rather, they’re people you single out to be of no threat to your business and could even become partners someday. like sowon - her bright amber dress making it seem as though a ball of fire is flitting across the hall. you’re about to wave at her before you notice a more furious fire burns in her eyes.

“you bitch!”

all of a sudden, your neck is craned in an awkward angle. the blaze on your cheek settles a little later than the realization that sowon just smacked you right across the face yet when you turn back to her, hands clenching and unclenching in suppression of rising anger - she’s the one with tears in her eyes. “i trusted you.”

oh boy.

the host hasn’t even made his speech and the crowd’s already excited. the widespread whispers don’t go past you - some of the people in your periphery doesn’t even bother hiding leaning into the person next to them while stealing glances your way. but you doubt the woman in front of you would notice anyone here but you.

“ladies, there’s plenty of me to go around.” taehyung speaks from next to you, his smooth baritone echoing off and reaching anyone within five feet. you know he’s doing this to cover for any other possible misunderstanding - after all, this isn’t the first time you’re trapped in a scandal between taehyung and one of his girlfriends.

sowon loathes taehyung though.

but it doesn’t matter as long as everyone thinks it’s just another day of you getting in between the budding romance of taehyung and his female acquaintance. you can already see the expressions of the guests falling - probably disappointed at the not-so-news news. but there are also those who snicker underneath their breath - probably one of taehyung’s past acquaintances. it’s no secret taehyung would choose you over them in a heartbeat - and it’s been established when taehyung appears at a function with another woman once and appear to the next five with you until a new poor soul takes that woman’s place.

what can you say? your best friend’s a charmer. but the downside is, you don’t have that many female friends at functions. and one of the few you do have, you’ve managed to piss off.

sowon’s sniffle tears your attention away from the crowd. flushed cheeks and puffed eyes. you’re not close but you’re acquainted enough to know she’s a woman of pride and confidence. she wouldn’t lose her cool over a man - well, at least not a licentious man like taehyung. and that’s the only reason keeping you from bitch slapping the pride off her. the sting on your cheek is nothing compared to the injury your pride sustains - all because what’s left of your conscience wouldn’t allow you to return the slap.

deep down, you know you deserved it and more. your insides churn painfully. all of a sudden the dress around your body is two sizes too small. it’s suffocating - the whole room is suffocating.

“after everything i told you - you had to go for him?!” her scream could almost burst your eardrums if it isn’t for the blood rushing in your ears.

it’s easy to think she’s referring to taehyung. somewhere from across the room, the crowd starts clearing out a path - looks like the host has caught wind of the commotion sowon has caused.

you want to curse her too. hurt her with words as much as she hurt you with her physical assault. but instead you find yourself dropping your gaze.

“i’m sorry, sowon.” is all you say before mr. jung and his army of secretaries approach you and bring you two to different rooms. by the time dinner starts, sowon isn’t around - it’s understandable, her pride wouldn’t allow her to let these people poke fun at her.

but you don’t survive this world you’re born in by running away - you survive it by developing skin as untouchable as scales. so you stay until desert, smiling with a sore cheek and conversing with those who you know would be neutral about the incident, like nothing happened.

taehyung sticks closer to you. he doesn’t ask if you’re okay - you’re not. but when you tug on his sleeve and timidly murmur you wish to go home, he does so without hesitation. it’s times like these you’d choose him over the world.

x

the tabloids love gossip. a sensational, popcorn-worthy scoop. there are two divided groups thanks to that. the first one is devoted to the belief that it’s a love triangle between you, taehyung and sowon. the other one, choosing to dig deeper than what’s on the surface, believes it goes way back. ten years back.

“sorry, i should have told you sowon was my ex-fiance - it didn’t occur to me until i saw the articles that you two might meet at a function.” seokjin finally says, the strawberry ice cream beginning to melt in its paper bowl when he asked you to ‘at least, let me cure your injury,’ - you didn’t, in a - make that ten - million years picture it to be in a form of an ice cream bowl he bought from the mini convenience store next to the cafeteria. it was to hold it on your cheek but you couldn’t just let good food go to waste.

it hurts to even smile but you can’t help it at the thought of the rumored half-mad doctor using his break for something besides working some more. coupled with a shake of your head and the plastic spoon trapped in between your lips, you look just as insane. 

your heart still clenches at the recollection of the other night, “i knew you two were engaged.”

his shoulder line straightens just the slightest bit as he lifts one eyebrow, not completely surprised but neither is he unfazed. so you continue, “it was by pure dumb luck that you turn out to be the best marriage prospect for me but i thought she was over it since it’s been years.”

there it is again, the churning in your stomach. like something’s eating you from the inside. if you focus enough, you can hear the voice inside your head scoffing - even if they’d just broken up yesterday, you still would have proposed to seokjin, maybe even the day after said break up. 

this time, you don’t look away when his eyes meet yours. you let him strip your armor down to your very core. show him just what kind of person you are - the person who wouldn’t let anything get in the way of her ambitions. wouldn’t dwell cheap sentiments like friendship. even if that made you - as sowon would put it - a bitch.

then, he lets out a heavy sigh - the kind of sigh a parent would do when their kid got in trouble and admitted their fault. so now he can’t lecture you on morals and ethics because you have your own principles.

if anything, it reminds you of the glaring difference in your age - the things he’s already experienced that you’re about to someday. the betrayals. the broken friendships. the choices between what you want and what you need. he’s probably seen this all before.

“is an old man like me really worth all that trouble?” the tiniest of smile graces his strong feature. eyebrows wavering with something you can’t pinpoint.

“well, there’s a doctor - kim suho.” this time, you don’t bother pointing out his not-even-that-old age. the way his eye twitches barely noticeably tells you he doesn’t expect your answer. a moment later, it becomes too apparent, from his troubled expression - brows stiffed and jaws tight, that he doesn’t like the idea of you asking for another man’s hand in marriage. you have to tell yourself to refrain from smiling, not because your cheek might hurt again but because it’s probably not a good time to tease him.

deciding to release him from his own misery, you quickly elaborate, “but he has an average background - no matter how much experience he has, you don’t just get on your knees and start slithering with the snakes. you have to be born into the family. so yes,” you place your ice cream on the coffee table, hand pushing back a strand of hair to appear more delicate and win his favor while you let a furtive smile adorn your face - and there’s a smile he’s suppressing too because he knows what you’re trying to do, “this old man is definitely worth it.”

his shoulder line seems to ease up as he tries to hide a relieved sigh by clearing his throat. but it’s short lived when the crease between his brows returns and a newfound tension settles in space on the couch separating the two of you, “yes, but suho was never the one i should be on a look out for, was he?”

you blink but he’s already shaking his head. a smile on his face, “never mind.”

x

things seem to settle down - everyone at the hospital knows about you and seokjin now. and you’ve managed to convince him to finally use his off days to spend it on preparing for the wedding. cake tasting. dress and suit fitting. deciding on what color the napkins should be - a month ago, you approached seokjin with the mindset to make him agree to marry you. after all, prince charming was the one who had it all - it didn’t make sense to have cinderella do all the wedding planning.

he was mad at you for some reason - it lasted for quite awhile until you directly asked why he’d been given you the cold shoulders. “you keep playing a two man game by yourself.” he sighed when he said those words - because he saw in your eyes, that you thought there was nothing wrong to be finishing what you started by yourself, “we’re getting married - we’re gonna become a team yet you keep making decisions by yourself.”

ever since then, you started asking if he wanted to join you to the cake and dessert tasting, napkin color picking. you didn’t realize how nice it was to do things with another person than decide it on your own.

and somewhere along the way, you started teasing him more.

“if the saying ‘men age like fine wine’ is a person,” a grin slips over your face as you shamelessly give seokjin is a once over, “then you’d be the embodiment of that.”

he doesn’t seem to mind - rather, he seems like he’s enjoying the attention as he chuckles and shakes his head. probably thinking there’s no saving you and your compliments now.

“come here.” it’s the way he says it - with a smile on his lips and eyes that says you’re all he sees and hand extended to capture yours, that makes you jump from your seat. the front of the dress bunched up in your hands as to not trip over it and right into his arms. just like moth drawn to flames.

he pulls you up over the platform that he’s been standing on and lets you stand in front of him, hand on your shoulder as you stare in front of the 3 part mirror in the boutique. the dress you have on is a light gold dress with a sweetheart neckline that wraps around your curves flawlessly down to your knees and flow out like a mermaid’s tail. seokjin has on a traditional cobalt blue single breasted suit with three buttons fitting around his waist perfectly. his hair is gelled back the way you specifically requested.

he gave you a quizzical look as though wanting you to elaborate on your reason for that request but you’d only left him with a kiss on the cheek and a ‘see you on monday.’

if there’s one thing you learned about seokjin, it’s that he’s devastatingly unaware of his strong features that makes every woman’s legs turn to jelly and every man’s heart skip a beat. and he chooses to hide it under that usual middle parted style.

seokjin’s reflection bends down but his eyes remains on you as he whispers against the shell of your ears, “you look exquisite.”

you have half the mind to push him off and run away in case he’d ear the erratic beating in your chest but he probably already knows from the way you shyly look away. the you from a year ago would laugh at what you’ve become - the kind of girl that gets flustered and can’t form a proper sentence in the presence of a male. but before you can respond, a boisterous voice from the sofa you were sitting at, announces, “alright, next!”

your teeth clench together as you whirl around to face taehyung’s silly grin. that cockblocker - he knew you were having a moment and went out of his way to ruin it. “what are you even here for? don’t you have something better to do?”

for once, taehyung isn’t on his phone. you wouldn’t mind it so much if he’d just ignore you half of the time whenever you hang out. “your mom tasked me to find you a perfect dress since she can’t be here.” there’s a glint in his eyes - something ratchet and devious but his lips curve like that of an angel.

you don’t miss seokjin’s tightened jaw and stiff shoulder line as he helps you down the platform. ever since taehyung showed up ten minutes into fitting, seokjin’s expression has been switching from that suave smile to looking like he has a splinter stuck in his thumb - a human sized splinter that goes by the name of kim taehyung.

you never thought you’d live to see the day when kim seokjin would harbor any sort of animosity towards someone - he’s probably a strict supervisor, but resentful? can’t be.

you chalk it up with the plain fact that anyone who’s not head over heels for taehyung would want to skin him alive on the early stages of getting to know him.

“hm? seokjin’s not here yet?” you ask once you’re back from the fitting room, having slipped into an ivory trumpet shaped dress. it’s a much simpler design compared to the one you had on which makes it a perfect counter part for the after party. “that’s a first, the lady finishing first than the guy.”

“oh, it’s not that unusual.” taehyung snickers. guess that just shows how confident he is with his skills.

“i’ve never been this tired and i’ve only tried on three dresses.” instead of entertaining his remark, you choose plop down next to him.

“sparky, does he love you?” it’s that nickname that gets you.

there are only two circumstances where he would call you that: one, when he wants to annoy you and two, when he’s feeling nostalgic. guess it’s finally hitting him that you’re no longer kids chasing each other around in one of his mansions. you’re both grown up and one is trying out wedding gowns.

“uh, me and seokjin are about to get married, taetae.” you throw in a nickname of your own just to lighten up the mood.

but all it does is lift the corners of his lips into a wistful smile. and that’s how you know you can’t be telling your half-truths. and evading his question isn’t working all that well either. “it feels like we can talk about things more openly now - but no, i don’t think he does. he’s marrying me to become the next chairman and i’m after his money and maybe get a kid out of him too.” a knot forms in your stomach - something about what you said doesn’t sit well with you but this is what you wanted. this is what you prepared for the moment you decided to ask seokjin for his hand in marriage. you shouldn’t hope for more.

the laugh taehyung lets out is reactionary. humorless. “can’t you wait for me? i know i’m in no position to ask - but can’t you?”

two years and three months ago, when you were a little youthful, had a little more stars in your eyes - maybe you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat. with every birthday you celebrate, fear rears its ugly head and reminds you that time isn’t an illusion and you know better than to bet on something - someone you're not sure you can win.

your heart aches a similar way it did two years ago - but you know now it’s not because it’s breaking to pieces. instead it’s hurting for the pieces of that young boy you could never hope to complete using yours. it took awhile but you know how to get back on your feet - but it’s not all that simple for taehyung. only he can fix his broken pieces.

“i stopped, taehyung,” you finally say, gaze burning holes inside the lace material of the dress, “the moment you told me you can’t - i stopped loving you. i’m glad i did because it wasn’t love. i was just scared to lose you like you’re afraid to lose me now,” you tug on his hand to get him to look at you and he does - all of a sudden, you’re both eight, inside your own bedroom with your dolls and his remote control cars strewn across the floor, “but you’ll always be my taetae and i’ll always be your sparky - i’m always gonna be here for you.”

you thought he’d changed. it’s nice to know he still uses a fruit scented shower gel when he brings you into a hug. the piercing sweet scent isn’t as strong as you remember it. the hug lasts a bit longer and his body is trembling slightly but you know it’s going to be okay - even if he packs up and leave for a foreign city like two years ago when you told him you loved him and you had to hunt him down through your wits and will (that damned private investigator accumulated a fortune to last him for probably ten years). at the end of the day, you’ll come back to each other. because the bond you’ve formed is thicker than the blood coursing through your veins.

“if he makes you cry, you come to me, okay?” you can’t even be mad when he ruffles your hair before picking up his blazer and shrugging it on. by the end of it, you’re both smiling - though his remains wistful, yours is sanguine.

it’s only after taehyung’s figure disappears through the door, do you notice the feeling of a pair of eyes burning holes inside your head.

“seokjin.”

the man is leaning against the door where his changing room is. you don’t need to ask why his brows are strained and the lips that would usually grace you with a smile, is pressed into a tight line.

x

“i never knew-” seokjin stops himself, lips pressed together as though he doesn’t want to say it, but he does with a shake of his head, “-no, i did know there was something between you and taehyung.”

you end up in seokjin’s apartment. the whole ride has been stiff silent. it’s the first you’ve seen him so disheveled. his tie hangs loose on his neck as though he’d yanked it without a care in the world and forgot about it. the first two buttons of his button down are undone. what once was his perfectly sleeked back hair disheveled from having been mussed up.

the hot chocolate seokjin made you is losing heat the longer you hold onto to it for the sake of having something to do with your hands. “i proposed to him two years ago and stopped loving him as soon as he turned me down - taehyung, he... he’s got a lot going on. that’s all i can say. i hope you don’t misunderstand what you saw.”

his eyes turn as round as saucers for the briefest moment before they flutter to their original almond shapes. shoulder line shaking from chuckling - but there’s nothing funny about any of this so you keep your eyes on him. if he needed confirmation of the truth you’re speaking, he need only search it in the windows of your soul.

“that’s very like you, ___.” he finally says.

you’re not sure what he meant but you’re not about to ponder on it either, “is there anything else you’d like to know about me, seokjin? there’s no reason for me to lie to you - we’re about to get stuck with each other for the rest of our lives. we should at least be able to talk about our past openly.”

when he doesn’t seem to have any other inquiry, you decide to let go of your pride - the reason you never asked was because you were too proud to be wrong. growing up, there were only a few people that you let poke fun at you and fewer you’d let prove you wrong. it dawned on you some time after you’re all showered and ready to go to bed one night - that you’re about to let seokjin waltz into your life and he’ll bear witness to your most intimate side. he’s about to be said one of the fewer people.

“then, my turn - why did you want me to stop attending social functions? i’ve been doing it my whole life - i’m good at it. and i’m not planning to stop just because i got married unless you have a proper reason for asking me to.”

the way his gaze drops tells you it wasn’t just a baseless request. you reach out across the counter, slipping your hands into his. that seems to have brought him back.

“my parents chose to attend a function instead of staying by my grandfather’s side even when the doctor told them he wouldn’t make it til morning - they weren’t even sorry. couldn’t even stay throughout the whole funeral.” he shakes his head almost as though being hung up over it was ridiculous yet couldn’t move past it either, “it’s ugly what too much wealth does - i just- i’m sorry i asked such a thing from you. it’s my own problem that i have to deal with, you don’t have to stop.”

it’s not hard to put yourself in his shoes. you understand where he’s coming from - you want to tell him that but somehow words are cheap. especially right in this moment.

so without thinking, you slip off the stool and walk around the counter until you reach him. the last thing you see before you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to your level, is his wondrous gaze.

the man doesn’t flinch away from your touch nor does he welcome it in any way. but the longer the seconds stretch on, the more you realize how idiotic and awkward it is to hug someone you barely know - it worked for taehyung but that’s only because he knew you preferred action rather than words.

“i’m not gonna stop completely but i won’t go as often - it’s getting boring anyway.” you nonchalantly say - or at least try to sound like you’ve lost interest in the function on your own. you haven’t been to any since that incident with sowon, waiting out for the rumors to die down is a better choice.

the body in your arms is unresponsive as ever - you would think you’re hugging a dead body if not for the heat of his breath fanning your delicate skin. maybe he’s just too nice to push a lady away. just as you’re about retract your arms, a warm hand rests on your hip. his touch is soft and gentle - as if he’s handling a porcelain doll while you’d just dragged him down to you without even considering how uncomfortable the angle would be given his tall broad frame. 

his body vibrates when he lets out a short breath like a brief chuckle, “you’re very generous with your hugs.”

your brain short circuits when the man raises his head from your shoulder and rests his forehead on yours - it reminds you of how woman you are. even when he’s sitting he still hovers over you. his free hand cups your jaw, thumb lightly pressing on your lower lip. so this is what it felt like when your roles were switched - is he going to give you a false sense that he’ll kiss you the way you would him?

“may i?” he’s smiling when he repeats your own words - eyes trapping the ray of sunlight that pours over the wall-window like an illuminate waterfall. for the first time since you know him, you’re scared. not of what he will do but of what you want him to - but he won’t do.

your train of thoughts dissipates along with your worry the moment his lips touch yours. gentle. yet the hand pulling you into him is possessive. something in your stomach churns with butterflies.

you want to say you don’t know how you end up with your stomach pressed against his crotch or how his semi-hard arousal started rubbing into your abdomen. it’s supposed to be awkward but it isn’t and you know he’s refraining from addressing his aroused state to avoid making it uncomfortable for you - even though every time you shift and lean into him, you see his the gentle bob of his adam’s apple. it makes you want him even more. he leans into your touch as soon as you reach for him like moth drawn to flames.

“right.” he declares as if he’s been reminded of something when he comes in contact with one of the ridge of the rock on your middle finger. it’s your own engagement ring you ordered with seokjin’s. when the man spoke about getting you one, you’d held up your left hand and told him you already had one made. in fact, you never took it off since the day you put it on - which was the same day it came it.

understandably, you’re always wearing more than a ring on your hand - it’s easy to mix up between the ring from your personal collection or a ring of promise. especially when you didn’t tell him you got one made for yourself.

the hand on your cheek is warm as it brushes against your cheekbones, your rolls off his tongue like sweet honey, “what did i ever do to make you think i don’t love you?”

you blink once. you heard his words but your mind isn’t registering anything. but it seems your heart has seem to figure it out from the way it’s accelerating, you’re afraid seokjin might hear it. “wh-what?”

all of a sudden, you have this urge to pull the invisible blinds of his wall-window and hide from the peering rays of the sun. seokjin’s airy gaze. your fallen dress strap. the gentle protrusion in his pants. your own mussed up hair - you want to keep this moment all to yourself.

he pecks your forehead one last time. this lips curling into a smile - he knows you heard him. loud and clear and you have a feeling you’ll be hearing it at the most unpredictable moment from now on. so there’s no rush.

“where should we go for dinner?” 

x

seokjin knows they call him the doctor version of a mad scientist. he knows a plenty of many things. like how he’s more strict with the junior physicians under his care. but that’s only because if he treats them below their potential, they’ll end up being that.

but the part where suho jokingly told him that he was crazy for working on holidays - maybe he was.

he’d moved out as soon as he turned 18 and eventually cut off his parents. before, even if it was just for show, he still got to see them during those functions they held.

but by the time he graduated college and started interning as a doctor - he was already erasing part of his existence. and his parents didn’t seem to notice. it made it cutting them off effortless.

but then, loneliness - pure, unadulterated loneliness started to sink its claws into him. so he turned to work even more. built his life around it.

by the time he became a fellow, he had absolutely zero social life. the only human interaction he had was with his patients - but they come and go. sure they’re grateful for him - and since the private hospital he’s working at is frequented mostly by the richest, he’d received gifts like cars or gold bars from one of his elderly patients who were convinced they were going to die - until they woke up from a successful surgery done by seokjin himself. but they eventually forget him.

and of course, he returned those gifts. he’d be no different than his parents - than the people he wished not to see anymore after he left that world. but the one thing he thought he wanted - the one thing he thought would make him happy, started to burn him out. every birthday was just a reminder that he’s half the age his soul is. 

he’s worn and tired and losing sight of that man he told himself to be by a certain age.

that is, until you came along. at first, it was just courtesy that he listened to what you had to say - apparently you were the ceo. and quite literally, his boss. at first, he thought you were messing with him when you asked for his hand in marriage - no one just waltzes in and propose to someone they don’t know.

even those convenient marriages don’t go this way. but he’d accepted it anyway.

it has more to do with those eyes of yours than the chairman position. those eyes - they remind him so much of himself. the current him. except where his soul wanes, yours thirsts to thrive. like a dying cactus refusing to dry out.

you had thorns but picking them out wasn’t a problem - you’d been disconcerted at first but you’d quickly learn to use it to your advantage. telling him only the truth or nothing. since evasion and half-truths don’t work on him the way they would work on the people you probably surrounded yourself with. and he knew exactly what type of people they were.

eventually, you started telling him the blunt, honest truth. it threw him off a few times - like when you’d straight out told him that you knew who sowon was and still went for him.  and that time when you admitted that he was the second man to receive your proposal - the first being that brat, taehyung. and then, you’d straight out asked him about why he didn’t want you attending functions anymore instead of ignoring his request like his parents would. or flip out of shame for having your lie found out. you were forbearing but firm. sometimes, it felt like you were much older than him. 

but then you had a childish side to you too - it was food for his soul. every time he was with you, he felt like himself again. like that boy who applied for a job at the hospital with only his wits and his will backing him up. at first, he’d only saw that side of you in front of your most treasured people. your father. your mother. taehyung.

what you and taehyung have - seokjin will never come close to comprehend. a bond so strong, not even death could tear you apart. it became apparent too soon to seokjin that taehyung dominated parts of your life and he’ll only have a but a crevice of his presence in yours. your smile would always be a little brighter when you’re with the younger man. eyes always drifting away from him to taehyung.

and he was content with that but he thinks you’ve changed. or maybe it’s him that did. because you’re grinning at him now - like there’s something up your sleeves. and there is - his eyes widen at your brazenness. one minute he was admiring the way you lasted for hours in those heels that you just kicked off - you’d been wearing them starting from the ceremony to the reception and finally the after party but the next minute, you were grinning and pulling him with you down onto the velvet sheets. the your dress has ridden up to just below your knees in the process and seokjin’s caressing your exposed calf - he thinks you’re all the more delicate. your skin, too soft. he’s afraid he might bruise you.

“oh,” you speak into his mouth before pulling away without even a peck on his lips - but there’s a twinkle in your eyes when you pick up a small golden box that sat prettily on the night stand, “almost forgot. for you.”

“i didn’t get you a wedding gift.” he announces, pushing down the suspicion dominating his brain but how can he not pull out the ribbon to find out what you’ve prepared for him, when you’re looking at him like that? all grin and proud and saying something like you didn’t need one.

then his face falls and he’s looking at you deadpanned in the eye after noting the too familiar tablet of blue pills. but the frown doesn’t live long - he finds himself shaking his head. a smile wedging itself on  his own face, “viagra. really?”

“better safe than sorry, right?” it's not right context - usually, a condom would be involved where that sentenced is used. but you know from seokjin’s dazed stare that he doesn’t get it - but he chooses to admire your features instead.

it takes everything in you not to bury your face in his chest just because his stare is making you feel like a high school girl with a crush. his eyes don’t make you want to reel away from him and cover every scar and lies with a thick blanket anymore. perhaps it has something to do with the fact that there isn’t any that he hasn’t seen. both your flaws and your virtue - if he wanted to run away, there were plenty of chances for him to do so but he stayed and now - now, you’ll never let him go. hold him captive in your castle, smooth criminal. you lean and press a kiss on his lips - just to make him close his eyes.

when you pull away, his lips chases yours. just like moth drawn to flames. you can’t help but giggle - it’s cut short when his hand weaves itself into your hair and bring you down to him.

you barely notice the hand that wraps around your wrist before your back hits the soft mattress. his shoulders appear more broad now that he’s hunched over you like a beast who hasn’t had a drop of water since the drought. at times like these you’re reminded of how man he is and how woman you are. a fact you seem to forget because he’s been playing along with your little games like a well-behaved child.

“hey, no fair!” lips pursed, you cross your arms in a show of protest. but he chuckles that soothing chuckle and he’s standing on his knees while the frame of his belt glints in warning.

your heart skips a beat at the sight of his arousal that was begging to be released from the confinements of his cobalt blue pants. the sigh he breathes out when he pulls down the zipper, sends shivers down your spine.but disappointment makes your face fall when he leaves it like that instead of pushing his pants down along with it.

that’s okay. you tell yourself. we’re married now-

you reach out for him only to have a hand wrap around your wrist, your fingers hovering achingly close to the gentle protrusion in his black boxers but not really touching.

you crane your neck to look at him but when your eyes meet, your words die in your throat. the smile is gone and in its place, is a tilted smirk, “are you sure? once we start i might not be able to stop.”

it’s that question that gets your heart writhing and crying to be set free from the confinement of your rib cages.

“seokjin,” the name tastes delectably sinful tonight, “i’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly.”

maybe it’s the vow you’re making on the absolutely zero occasion where you’ve been this rapt by a man. maybe it’s your out of character use of the curse - that’s just how much you want this. or maybe it’s both. either way, seokjin’s gripping handfuls of your dress and you wordlessly raise your hands up for him to pull your dress off you.

it’s the way his eyes travel down your body. hunger. madness. lust. they meld together in those darkened eyes of his yet you’ve never felt so safe. he dives in for a kiss. this time, it’s raw and passionate and has no intention to stop halfway - not after he made it clear that he couldn’t and not after you pleaded for him to take you.

your white cotton bra is first to go - you only wore it because the straps won’t contrast too much with the strap of your dress. initially, you were going to tease him a bit and disappear into the bathroom to change into the lacy black lingerie set you’d specifically ordered to be custom made by victoria’s secret. but with the way he’s kneading your breast in his palm and the way you’re clawing against his clothed chest like a ravenous creature - the lingerie can wait.

“take off your clothes.” in your head, it sounded more demanding - but it comes out breathy and begging. a part of you chide yourself for waving the white flag before the game even began but another part of you is tired of being the only one bare and naked.

there’s a godless gleam in his eyes the moment he heard your request and you should have known seokjin wouldn’t make it that easy for you. this is karma coming back to bite you in your butt naked state after all those times you spent teasing the man and him accepting it without any complaint. you thought he was just mature enough to get over it. it turns out he was just a beast laying in wait to claim what he deserves, “what’s the magic word?”

“please.” you answer in a heartbeat.

that same heart stops beating the second he shakes his head. no. wrong answer. “the other one - do you really think i didn’t notice? the way you tease me - the way you know i won’t do anything about it because i’m older, i have to be a bigger person?”

that’s when your pride comes crashing in like tidal wave. walk away, it says. you take back what you said about having nothing to hide from seokjin - there’s one. and you thought you’d keep it with you. let it be buried in your grave. but he knows - like he knows every layer of your existence. your every desire and compulsion. it’s disgraceful and mortifying, for you. but seokjin holds your gaze and wait, wait, wait - he doesn’t seem to share your thoughts - doesn’t look disgusted either.

“daddy.” the moment the word leaves your mouth, you feel liberated. freed. like a long overdue confession. the pleased look on seokjin’s face is everything and more. “daddy, please.”

“as you wish.” he’s your liberator. your freer. and he’s about to grant your one carnal desire.

his clothes hit the ground within less than a minute. you can’t help but gawk at his perfectly sculpted physique. it’s like gods personally descended the heavens and blessed him in his mother’s womb and stayed by his side up until now - only for him to scorn them right in this moment. your body bounces off the bed lightly when his fingers dig in your thigh, pulling you closer like a ragged doll. a small yelp escapes you.

your panties are the last to go. discarded somewhere on the floor along with yours and his wedding attire.

the first whimper escapes the moment he slips into you, but not fully. he lets you take him in, get used to his size and directs your hand to his lips before placing it on his shoulder. as if telling you, you can hurt him, claw him until his back is raw and bleeding.

you wouldn’t at first - opting to keep your hands fisted while you try your hardest to suppress every moan that erupts from your mouth with every stroke. but then he hits that sweet spot. your back arches forward and you think it’s that moment when your fingers break the delicate skin on his back - but you can’t remember. it’s a blur - the electricity coursing from your heart through your veins and curls your toes. the stars you see in the back of your mind and the way you tighten around him when the delectable sound of his moans brushes the shell of your ear as he holds you against him.

he almost crushed him underneath his weight when he pulls out of you. the traces of his arousal pressing in between your bodies as he forces himself up by propping himself on his forearms. his labored breath fans your face and he’s all you see.

there’s still a surplus of tingle in your lower abdomen how high he takes you - almost like cloud nine. and you’re slick with sweat and body fluid but there’s no where you’d rather be than here, in your husband’s arms.

five months ago, you approached him with the objective of gaining a husband to take the chairman position and maybe give you the grandchild that your mother’s been asking you for. you didn’t expect for anything more than what you bargained for. but the first time he told you how he felt - you still didn’t believe him. 

it was too surreal. and seokjin probably saw the tendrils of doubt every time he tells you how he feels - at the most sporadic moment. but he kept picking your thorns one by one like he could do this for a hundred years and more. you think i was that day when he found out about your past feelings for taehyung that he started. and he finally picked all of your prickly spikes - and now, he’s holding you like a child. head buried in between your breasts, muscled arms loosely hugging your waist. what a contrasting different to the man he was half an hour ago but so very seokjin of him.

the elated breath he lets out with his sigh is warm on your skin, “you know how to make an old man feel young.”

there he does it again. he’s been saying he’s old even though he’s only in his 30′s. at first you thought he was joking but over time - you think he truly believes he is. but when you agree with him-

“is your back okay? wouldn’t want your ancient bones breaking.” you pat his head sympathetically. 

almost as if you’ve pushed a that button with a flashy warning red on it, his fingers twine around your wrist and pull it away from his head. the bed shifts as he hovers over you with an aggrieved glint, “i’m sure there are greater things that little mouth of yours can do than express your concerns for my back, sweetheart.”

your heart skips a beat.

x

epilogue.

you love being married.

not because you can strut to seokjin’s office and have everyone know you have every right to be there. nor because the board can’t really say anything since seokjin fits every characteristics of a chairman either. but because-

“we’ve been at it like rabbits,” seokjin shoulder line jolts slightly when your arms gently wrap around him from behind but there’s a sort of mirth laced in his voice, “you’re still not tired?”

“what ever do you mean, dear husband?” your voice is sweet but not entirely innocent.

sure, you did it an hour ago and you’re both supposed to get ready for bed but when you stepped out of the bathroom and find the bed empty, you had to wander outside. you know he’d be in the living room reviewing past years’ reports in his preparation to take on your dad’s position. he could just step up first and get familiar with his job along the way - but it wouldn’t have been very seokjin to enter the battlefield without polishing his armor.

he smells like peppermint and lavender. donning a plain white shirt and grey sweats - it’s the second most dressed down you’ve ever seen him in compared to the white-collars you’re so used to seeing him in. the first, being when he’s in bed, of course.

“okay, well, i’m going to bed first.” with a peck on his cheek, you bid him a good night.

but it’s not in your nature to give up without a fight - or rather, without sauntering in front him in your pastel pink camisole. you put on the a black and gold corset on your first monthivasery - it was just an excuse for you to try on the lingerie and it paid off. but there’s just something about camisoles - floral or plain pastels are what gets him prancing on you like a hungry beast. it looks like you’re not the only one with a fetish.

the cleaner comes in every twice a week and you’re not here enough to mess up the place except the master bedroom - like seokjin said, you have been going at it like rabbits. still, you bend down, making sure your ass is perked a little higher as you rearrange the picture frames on the rack under the tv.

a tune of your favorite song vibrates against your throat for thirty-six seconds before you straighten your back and begin to walk towards the bedroom. but something you caught in your periphery halts your steps, “did you just check out my ass then bite your lip? ‘cause if you did we’re having sex. right now.”

that seems to catch him off guard - you’ve been finding new and creative ways to get fucked. some worked. and by worked, you mean it had you moaning and writhing as he took you raw. some failed. meaning he had relented mainly because you were asking and he wanted to please you - at times like those, he was the one lying down, watching you ride him but halfway through, he’d pulled you down and started fucking you missionary because ‘you were good darling, but watching you makes me want to personally fuck you senseless. you can ride me next time, i promise.’

either way, your work life is superb and your sex life is out of this world. especially with a husband like seokjin. guess that dry spell has finally lifted and unleashed the hungry beast in him.

seokjin sighs, eyebrows coming together in a troubled frown but the lump in his pants say otherwise. “when you’re sore and need me to walk you to your office tomorrow, remember you asked for this.”

something in the pit of your stomach churns. your heart races with adrenaline as he takes two steps with those long legs of his and close the distance. a yelp escapes your lips, not expecting him to hoist you over his shoulder like you weight nothing and landing a smack on your ass like he’s reprimanding you.

“seokjin! put me down, i’m heavy!” you cry out, smacking his back in protest. when you wanted him to take you, this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind - it’d be a completely, perfect lie if you say you weren’t dripping with excitement.

“this way’s faster than your tiny little legs, darling.” you can hear the smirk in his voice before he kisses the exposed skin on your hip.

x

note: and that’s it. but it’s not over yet! there might be drabbles coming up on our fav couple’s adventure as they try to get preggo lmaooo also i’ll be doing a ‘story time’ where i talk about the background of this fic - what inspired me to write it, why i titled it like the way i did and i’d like to dissect and oc and tae’s relationship and so much more. send me an ask if you have something in particular you want me to address from the fic!

if you like this fic feel free to check out namjoon’s version called good guys finish last. i’m also planning to turn this au into a series for every member. taehyung or yoongi will be next!

[cawcawpeasants]

sooo, I dunno if u still ship fuenoze but this plot have been stuck in my head and i need sb to talk with abt it :Clover are now peaceful af, Nozel and Fuego have been dating with for-their-whole-fucking-life and Nozel are ready af to marry that red head but nooo, his charming fiery bf IS STUPID AF:D not that Fuego doesn't ready, he thinks Nozel love the way their relationship are right now and he respects that, and it just getting worse bc Nozel's ego refuse to be the one who take the next step

Ooooh boy. First of all I am so sorry, Tumblr didnt notify me of this at all?? I dont know since when you're waiting on an answer :(

But Yes! I still do ship it!! And omg, this situation is like Shakespeare meets Jane Austen. You have the comical misunderstandings and miscommunications combined with head strong period characters, and dont tell me that the Silvas would go all Bennet family on this, while Nozel is living that Sense and Sensibility realness.

I love these chaos people, cause their relationship dynamic would be so great? Like, they would be always able to understad the other without many words, cause they know the other so well. But that is also the issue? Cause they never had to work on their communication skills.

And its also a typical pride thing. Nozel wants to be asked the question, wants to be wooed to a degree. He wants the attention and care, cause lets be honest, this man is starved for love, care and affection. He also wants to be able to return that warmth an vulnerability, but the way he was raised and how he is just kind of doesnt help. He sometimes cannot put this all into words, especially spoken ones.

And Leon? Hes too sensible, he doesnt want to encroach on Nozel, doesnt wanna back him into a corner and make Nozel feel like he owes Leon marriage and kids. He is a good man, really, but then he also sucks at communicating his own desires sometimes, and he assumes a little too much sometimes? Like, hes a briliant man and he knows that, but sometimes his emotional intelligence falls a little bit flat, and just because he thinks he knows what Nozel is thinking, he doesnt ask him.

Honestly, what they need is coaching in communication, intervention from their families, lots of meddling and also a very bold and brash commoner that can read ki. Maybe two. Asta and Yami gotta tag team on this.

But honestly, I LOVE your mind! This was great!! If you have any other thought or opinions, please hit me up. I will definitely check my inbox more often now, I am quite mad that I didnt see this until now.

[yourdailykitsch]

Do you know why Taylor is so closed off? I understand being a celebrity can be tough but seems like you only hear about him when he’s about to film something.

Answer: He just likes his privacy. He prides himself on keeping his private life private. I think it was an Elle feature that was done on him when the interviewer commented on how she couldn't find any dirt on him and he was like gleeful about it. He's the kind of celebrity we're not used to, the kind that is actually in it for the work and not the "celebrity" and instagram followers and clout. I actually think the celebrity of it all overwhelms him a bit. He mentioned that after FNL came onto Netflix he went to a Rangers game and the number of people that approached him was almost too much. He's appreciative of it, but I think he likes that he can go to LA or New York and do the media and press, red carpet for an event and that's it, then he can go be normal in Texas.

Ask #2: Who’s with Taylor in LA? Does Jennifer ever go on any of his movie sets? Does anyone know how long he will be shooting in LA?

Answer: His friend Kevin is there with him, I'd imagine acting as his PA this time around. Jennifer has gone to visit him on location in the past. Online sources say that production goes until August, I don't know if that means it's done by August or into August...but August is the answer.

Ask #3: 🚨TAYLOR WAS ON SET TODAY! 🚨Christ Pratt posted an Instagram story about him! No pictures accompanied but maybe this means they could? Who knows? But chris spoke highly of him which was nice to hear!

Answer: I know it kind of seemed like Chris and Taylor were just working together on set for the first time but I don't think that's true. There was an extra that mentioned that he'd been on set with Taylor/Chris a bit ago as well and it was an emotional scene. The extra mentioned how he needed to step up his game after seeing how both Chris and Taylor could go from so emotional on camera to laughing off. But it's nice that they're getting along and I love that Chris spoke highly of him. If they don't do the Murph together I'll be bummed.

Ask #4: What's Taylor's character in the Terminal list like? I've tried looking it up but the only description of Ben Edwards that I can find is "womanizer" 😂

Answer: That's kind of his depth in the book to be honest. I feel like his role will be expanded upon on the show but he's an ex Navy SEAL who is now in the CIA, kind of described as a beach bum now, not clean cut, in jeans and flip flops, womanizer...been married a few times. I don't want to say more without spoiling.

Ask #5 and #6: Do you think Taylor got his role in terminal list because of his role in 21 bridges? Is anyone from lone survivor working on terminal list?

Answer: It would not shock me if some of the guys that have worked with Taylor on both Lone Survivor and True Detective are there on set for The Terminal List as well. Do I think he got his role because of 21 Bridges? Or I guess American Assassin or Savages or Lone Survivor or any of his military based roles...I don't want to say he's being pigeon holed but he does seem to gravitate toward these roles and does well with them.

Ask #7: Having now read The Terminal List, I find this a strange project for Taylor. Not in the sense that it’s bad but his character doesn’t really do much. Like kind of just one note. I know for the show it may be rewritten (and hopefully is) so that he’s more prominent and important. I really wanna see him do something a bit different. I know he’s said he has some stuff in the pipeline but that was back in January right? Inferno and Pieces (if they ever happen) do sound a bit different whilst still being something familiar, but I’d love to see him do something he has NEVER done. Maybe something will be announced soon until then we’ll just have to hold our hope that the Terminal List is great !

Answer: This was my reaction after reading it. You could probably count the number of scenes he's in on one hand. I have to believe that his role will be expanded upon in the show or why would he do it? I don't want to think that this is what he's being reduced to and has to take because he's not being offered other roles. So I have to trust that he knows what he's doing. But like I mentioned in the last answer, he's being pigeon holed a bit here...he might want to try something different. Inferno would be a good start, just genre wise.

Ask #8: Have you noticed that celebrities that Taylor works with don’t follow him on Instagram. Do you reckon that don’t know he has it?

Answer: I think part of the issue is he's just not active on there, some people might not know he has it. Though Chris Pratt got the coveted Taylor follow on instagram. I mean Taylor wasn't even following Derek Phillips who he's closer with than anyone until this week...

Ask #9: Has jack carr said anything about Taylor?

Answer: He did do a podcast where he talked about being on The Terminal List set and how normal everyone was and that he and Taylor texted at some point that he was nice, but that was about it. The focus was more on Chris since he's the lead.

Ask #10: Is the Australian version of shadowplay mans version or American? Will the DVD be mans version when sold there?

Answer: I cannot give you a definitive answer for sure on this, but as SBS aired the original version and that's the only one that has been shown in Australia I have to imagine the DVD would be the original version.

[peacockwinchester]

I wanna infodump on my FNAF AU because I can and I'm having a bad sensory day so I need the distraction. So, first off regarding the timeline, in order of games in the order they would happen it's: FNAF 2, FNAF 1, Sister Location, FNAF 3, and Pizzeria Sim. Now onto the focal point of why I made the AU: Michael Afton the beloved. It's pretty much the same, but he isn't the night guard in FNAF 2 simply because it doesn't seem very plausible to me, considering he was still a pretty young kid in 83, 4 years earlier. And with the timeline, he isn't Ennard-ified in FNAF 1. Also, just as a sidenote, FNAF 1 is set in 1993 in my AU, whether or not it is in real life, I can never remember. And SL happens in 2003 bc it makes sense to me. So then we add my self-insert Misha. For him, basically everything abt my life is the same, except that somehow he inherits the Elvish gene from his parents (it's recessive) and his ears grow all pointy and he becomes conditionally immortal. Since it's pretty damn obvious, he can't work around people anymore. Which is fine bc he doesn't like people much anyway. Misha decides to take up the nightguard position in FNAF 1, the week after Mike was the scheduled guard. Because Phone Guy died, the company decided it was better for Mike to train Misha in person, and maybe 2 guards would reduce the chances of workplace mutilations and all that. So Mike and Misha meet and bond over shared gayness and also life or death situations. After that week they just sort of do whatever and start dating and everything. They're basically married, cuz it's not legal for them to be married officially yet. Anyway they end up having a kid pretty soon after Mike was corpse-ified. His name is Sebastian and he is the best :)). After that, in like 2030, is when Pizzeria Sim happens and Mike does actually die for real. In 2040, Security Breach takes place, and Misha has been night guarding since Seb moved out. He stopped when Seb was a kid cuz y'know. Mans literally had a kid and he's a good dad. Anyway, he picks up that something weird is happening at the Pizzaplex, so applies for the night guard position under Vanessa. Meanwhile Seb is vibing as a therapist and Mike's spirit has been awakened because PEEPAW WILLY WON'T DIE. He possesses Glamrock Freddy. SB continues as normal and Misha reunites with Mike in Freddy's body and Greg is now Misha's son bc he said so. Somehow and this happens bc I can do what I want, Mike is reembodied. M and M help Greg get out and try to get rid of peepaw. Then they adopt Greg and take him home. Throughout the night at the Pizzaplex, it becomes kinda obvious that Greg is very similar to Mike's brother Evan and that's all angsty and whatnot. After SB, Misha and Mike have another kid and name him Evan. Sebastian loves his lil bros.

So that's the gist of my AU. It's mostly self-indulgent fix-it fluff cuz I love Mike and he deserves happy stuff.

[wolfstar-recs2019]

Wolfstar Recs Collection 2019

Yay! Congratulations to everyone on the list! 

Y'all are very talented people and made the year 2019 a blast!

Special thanks to everyone who took time to submit recommendations during last tree months! Also huge thanks to everyone who spread the word and cheered recommended creators! Please, go on and let all those amazing content creators know how you love what they do by leaving kudos, comments to their works and sharing personal recs!

We perceive this list like an approximate map of the starry sky area: some stars are visible with a bare eye, some need a telescope to be mapped and lots of others are hidden in the vast of space and haven’t been found by cartographers yet. This collection is a handful of many amazing works and talented creators, but so many more are somewhere in the vast of internet waiting to be discovered! 

See the list below  ↓

Fanfiction

Author Of The Year:   

@jennandblitz; @marlenemckinn ;   @atyd-wolfstar;   @lumosinlove; @curlyremus ;  @letsdothepanic; @maraudererasmut;  @ashes-and-ashes-dust-and-dust; @gooseberrybrains; @thehufflebean ; @sirius-black-killed-god, @remus-john-lupin​

Headcanons Writer Of The Year :

@siriushpads ; @incorrectmarauders ; @goodboylupin ; @modern-wolfstar ; @maraudererasmut ; @confunded-gryffindor, @remus-la-swearwolf,  @remus-john-lupin​

Wolfstar Series Of The Year :

Rock 'n' Pole by @jennandblitz and @marlenemckinn;   Marauder Ink by @jennandblitz;  The Marauders' Map by @stonecoldhedwig;  Blends!verse by rvltn909*; Chicken Man by @confunded-gryffindor;  A/S/L  by @maraudererasmut; Primaver(se)a by @quoththethestral;  constellations universe  by @curlyremus;  Before the Thunder by CiciWeezil *, The men of number 12 Grimmauld Place series by Tedah*, 

Wolfstar Multi-Chapter Fic 2019 : 

Marauder Ink by @jennandblitz;  Of Masters and Slaves by @jencala;  We Were Infinite by @captofthesswolfstar; Distant Stars by @of-stars-and-moon; Solntse by @lumosinlove; Liebestraum by @quoththethestral;  Taste by @jennandblitz;  A/S/L  by @maraudererasmut;  IRL by @maraudererasmut;  The Other Side of Sorrow by @thehufflebean;  keysmash  by @wishingitwerewolfstar;  Dog Filled Days Aren't Over by @jlpierre;  Dress up in You by @atyd-wolfstar;  Tell Me How You Really Feel by @curlyremus;  Constellations by @curlyremus;  Troubles in Bed Sharing by @kattlupin; The Boy Who Killed God by  @sirius-black-killed-god, Now I Wanna Be Your Dog by pixelated,  Records With Sirius Black by @kattlupin​  

Wolfstar One Shot 2019: 

 The Treasuries of Firenze by @jennandblitz;  Fire On Fire by @wolfstargarden;  Temptation by @curlyremus;  When I'm With You by @purplechimera8;  Insomnia by @january3693;  The Heir by @remus-john-lupin; Thick Ties by @letsdothepanic and  @maraudererasmut;  Heal by @nisargasinha, Summer Lovin' by Tedah*

Wolfstar Flash Fic 2019 (under 500 words): 

Secrets by @evax3;  The Watch by @maraudererasmut;  Familiar by @yumenouveau

Wolfstar Collaboration Of The Year : 

Rock 'n' Pole by @marlenemckinn, @jennandblitz;  Sugar Maple by @maraudererasmut, @purplechimera8;  Ain't Together by @marlenemckinn, @jennandblitz;  Lost Without You by @dearsirius and @of-stars-and-moon;  Thick Ties by @letsdothepanic and  @maraudererasmut,  Your friend, Remus. by @maraudererasmut and @tsundanire

Best Wolfstar As Secondary Ship In Fic 2019: 

 Maybe I Waited Too Long - A Marauders Medical AU by @blitheringmcgonagall; The Reclamation of Black Magic by @shayalonnie; Calamity's Child by @aibidil

Favourite Wolfstar/Anyone Pairing In Fic 2019 :  Never Have I Ever... (Wolfstarbucks) by @jennandblitz ;  I'd get on my knees (Wolfstarbucks) by @letsdothepanic, The truth is rarely pure (And never simple) (Wolfstarbucks)  by @tsundanire

Wolfstar Canonverse Fic 2019:  We Were Infinite by @captofthesswolfstar;  We Can Be Heroes by @blitheringmcgonagall;  Thick Ties by @letsdothepanic and  @maraudererasmut, The Same Old Dogs by @remus-john-lupin​​

Wolfstar Magical AU Fic 2019: 

Someone We Used to Know by @january3693 ;  Runes by @YumeNouveau ; The Other Side of Sorrow by @thehufflebean ,  The Moon That Breaks by @thehufflebean , Every Rose Has Its Thorns by shadow_prince

Wolfstar Muggle/Modern AU Fic 2019:  

Dress up in You by @atyd-wolfstar;  Marauder Ink by @jennandblitz;  Chicken Man by @confunded-gryffindor;  Liebestraum by @quoththethestral;  SHAME by @bringblackback; Primavera by @quoththethestral;  Constellations by @curlyremus;  Pas de Deux in the Upper West Side by @bringblackback;  Fire On Fire by @wolfstargarden;  Hepburn Avenue by @stonecoldhedwig;  A/S/L  by @maraudererasmut;  Ain't Together by @marlenemckinn and @jennandblitz;  Crash Into Me by @shadowprince27 ,  That Black Glitter by @tsundanire, Solntse by @lumosinlove​

Wolfstar Cross-Universe Fic 2019 : 

Excommunicado by @yumenouveau;  The Treasuries of Firenze by @jennandblitz

Wolfstar Classic Tropes Fic 2019: 

 Insomnia by @january3693;  Troubles in Bed Sharing by @kattlupin;  Trust the Wolf to Bring You Home by @pancake-surprise, Scars and Kisses by RainShine

Wolfstar Comedy In Fic 2019: 

Hepburn Avenue by @stonecoldhedwig; Caraway Street by @stonecoldhedwig;  Life Finds a Way by @confunded-gryffindor;  Totally Tropical Remus in The Caribbean by @wolfstargarden;  Moony's Mattresses by @starstruck4moony;    SHAME by @bringblackback;  Black Valentine by @theprongsletthatlived

Wolfstar Angst Fic 2019:  

Not Anymore by @holy-shit-its-wolfstar, Constellations by @curlyremus;  SHAME by @bringblackback;  The Treasuries of Firenze by @jennandblitz;  Hollow by @letsdothepanic;  The Moon that Breaks by @thehufflebean;  Notes by @ashes-and-ashes-dust-and-dust;   Not If It's You by estas_absentis*;  The Other Side of Sorrow by @thehufflebean,  Far too young to die by @tsundanire, Only In Dreams by shadow_prince

Wolfstar Fluff Fic 2019: 

Til the Very End by @jencala; Wouldn't It Be Nice? by @marlenemckinn and @jennandblitz;  It Takes Four to Tango by @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world;  Of Bookshelves and Baby Carriers by @poppunkpadfoot , Safe by @withrewings​,  Summer Lovin' by Tedah*,  An Endless Account of First Dates Series by @kattlupin​

Wolfstar Smut In Fic 2019: 

Pas de Deux in the Upper West Side by @bringblackback;  Primavera by @quoththethestral;  My Own Secret Ceremonials by @jennandblitz;  Subatomic @ebp-brain;  A Night Out by @maraudererasmut;  The Suit by @maraudererasmut;  Black Glitter by @jennandblitz;  A/S/L  by @maraudererasmut; Of Masters and Slaves by @jencala;  When Remus Learned About Quidditch (and Became a Successful Player) by @remus-john-lupin,  Happy Birthday Sirius by @tsundanire, Moonstruck by @remus-john-lupin

Favourite Sirius Black Characterisation Of 2019: 

Liebestraum by @quoththethestral ;  Names by rvltn909* ; Taste by @jennandblitz ; SHAME by @bringblackback; The Boy Who Killed God by  @sirius-black-killed-god ,  The Moon that Breaks by @thehufflebean​,  Summer Lovin' by Tedah*

Favourite Remus Lupin Characterisation Of 2019: 

Liebestraum by @quoththethestral;  Names by rvltn909* ; Pas de Deux in the Upper West Side by  @bringblackback; A/S/L by @maraudererasmut; IRL by @maraudererasmut;   Dog Filled Days Aren't Over by @jlpierre; Primavera by @quoththethestral;  Marauder Ink by @jennandblitz;  Constellations by @curlyremus; The Boy Who Killed God by  @sirius-black-killed-god, How to succeed in love. A tried and tested method by R. J. Lupin, married man. by Tedah, Déjà Vu by @remus-john-lupin​

Beta Of The Year :  @jennandblitz, @letsdothepanic

Fanart 

Artist Of The Year: 

@yumenouveau;  @gulliblegoldfish;  @littlebitellie;  @filesia;  @meekinthedraw; @maraudererasmut; @art-of-ame; @gibbarts; @tamehill,  @alessiajontrunfio, @thehufflebean, @art-of-ame,  @thisalienartist,  @wallopthewicked,  @tonftyhw

Wolfstar Artwork Of The Year**:

A little fun in the common room by @maraudererasmut cw:nsfw; no title by @maraudererasmut cw:nsfw; illustration for Taste by @jennandblitz by @yumenouveau; <3</a> by @filesia;  Kicking off pride month with some wolfstar by @gulliblegoldfish;  always have, always will. by @breart,  Illustrations in The Other Side of Sorrow by @thehufflebean, Wolfstar kiss by @wallopthewicked​, Good Morning by @tonftyhw​

Favourite Sirius Black Portrayal (character design) Of 2019**:

first war design by  @meekinthedraw ;  Padfoot by @franciswillmann; Padfoot by  @wallopthewicked, Black by  @vagueenthusiast​, Sirius Black by @tonftyhw​

Favourite Remus Lupin Portrayal (character design) Of 2019**: 

Remus Lupin by @softsiriusblack;  Gryffindors are cool and werewolves are even cooler by  @gulliblegoldfish; Moony by @cynopoe; Moony by  @wallopthewicked, Professor Remus by @tonftyhw​

Wolfstar Micro-Story In Art 2019**: 

‘lie low at lupin’s’ by @meekinthedraw;  Prongs stop being salty you will get the girl (dialogue by @asktheblacksheep) by  siriuslymischief (insta);  au : photographer & football player by @modern-wolfstar; I call this catharsis by @art-of-ame;  SB: He wasn’t aware we were on our third date! by @wallopthewicked,  Ten points to Dumbledore!  by @wallopthewicked,  He wasn’t aware we were on our third date!   by @wallopthewicked

Wolfstar Aesthetic Of The Year**:  

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin by @malfoy

Role play/Cosplay

Shapeshifter Of The Year: 

 @softsiriusblack;  @transaurus;  @praecipiopatronum, @asktheboywholived,  @ask-dromeda​

Favourite Sirius Black Impersonation Of 2019: 

Sirius Black by @softsiriusblack; Sirius Black by @megathy-two; Sirius Black by  @mymischiefisnevermanaged; Siri by @askyourlocalhufflepuff; Sirius Black by @olivandersdaughter; Sirius Black by  @asktheboywholived, Sirius Black by  @slytherinsiriusblack​, Sirius Black by @mymischiefisnevermanaged​, Sirius Black by @the-ginger-magician​

Favourite Remus Lupin Impersonation Of 2019: 

Remus Lupin by @praecipiopatronum; Remus Lupin by @stjernfaerie; Remus Lupin by @tired-lupin; Remus Lupin by @jenlizrose; Remus Lupin by @megathy-two; Remus Lupin by @anarrayofwits; Remus Lupin by @prettylestrange; Remus Lupin by @ask-the--stars, Remus Lupin by @asktheboywholived, Remus Lupin by  @askdeantheslytherpuff​, Remus Lupin by @sparklyslytherin​, Remus Lupin by  @talesofafoolishboy​

Wolfstar Gif Thread Of The Year:  

Congratulations by @softsiriusblack, @bringblackback @nikkyzaziki @praecipiopatronum; Welcome aboard by  @softsiriusblack @the-moon-and-stars-my-love  @praecipiopatronum;  Super blue moon by @asktheboywholived, In Art Class by @softsiriusblack​

Wolfstar Best Script For Gif Thread 2019: 

Congratulations by @praecipiopatronum; Welcome aboard by @praecipiopatronum; Mirror Mirror by @mymischiefisnevermanaged;  REMUS! REMUS, I HATE THIS THING! PLEASE GET RID OF IT! by @olivandersdaughter, A Great Idea by @the-ginger-magician​ and @remus-lupin-is-my-type​ (2018), Yeah, we're best friends, but... by @owlswithfins​  Based on this chat post by @incorrectmarauders; 

Most Hilarious Thread/Gif 2019: 

 Jumpers and Jackets by  @transaurus @slytherinsiriusblack  @prettylestrange @askyourlocalhufflepuff @amortentiando;  The true-truth by @scamandergenes  @megathy-two; Remus Brings Home A Pet… by @olivandersdaughter @sirussly; Remus’ Schedule by @prettylestrange,  F**k my life by @stressedbi​ and @metamorphmagically,  Puppy Love by @lifeasamarauder​

Best Makeup 2019:

Remus Lupin by @jenlizrose; Sirius Black by  @muirin007; Remus Lupin by @asktheboywholived​, Sirius Black by  @mymischiefisnevermanaged​, Post transformation Remi Lupin by @klassikally​

Best Costume 2019:

Pirate!Remus Lupin by @praecipiopatronum, Sirius Black by  @mymischiefisnevermanaged​​

* - if you know the tumblr accounts of these authors, please, tag them in the comments

** - if you are the author of the recommended work and you don’t agree with the title chosen for the list (or have an alternative one), please contact us with your suggestions. We’ll gladly make edits

Congratulations everyone one more time! May the inspiration be with you!

Please, note that few creators removed themselves from the list (anyone can use this possibility by the end of January, just message us). So if you’ve recommended someone and they are not listed here, then they have decided to withdraw themselves from the list (message us if you have any questions)

Love, 

Dumbledorks

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 4x11 Heroes and Villains

Still enjoying reading Once Upon A Time: Reawakened. Spoilers: you know that deleted scene where Archie and David are at the Rabbit Hole in 1x12? David was actually watching Mary Margaret because he didn’t want or trust her to go on the girl’s night out. Like whaaaat? They made David a bit controlling in the book. I’m not sure if that was the original plan for the deleted scene.

Back to the rewatch

I’m not ready to say goodbye to the Frozen characters! I love them so much! I really, really enjoyed their arc! 

Ice magic is so cool!

There’s forever a problem with the town line lol xD.

Killian’s being super shady.

Rumples really enjoying squeezing Killian’s heart.

“When the stars in the sky align with the stars in the Sorcerer’s hat…” What does it mean??!

Did Gold put some kind of sleeping spell on Belle? 

That gauntlet’s pretty cool.

Oh. I don’t think she was under a sleeping spell. She’s just a really heavy sleeper.

Rumple hasn’t told Belle that there’s no coming back once you leave SB!

Marelena unfroze!

Why did she need her heart in her chest to wake up? And I thought Zelena had protective enchantments on her heart.

Why is Marelena telling Regina she’ll step aside?

Aww. Belle and Henry bonding! Is this the only time they interact? 

I’d love to hear about more of the magical objects Rumple has collected!

Doggy dog! 

It’s clearly not Pongo but I wonder if there’s any relation.

It’s so cwute!!

Come back puppy!

LMAO!! Belle got kidnapped by a freaking gorilla :’D!!

It’s actually quite creepy though. Where’s its face??!

Am I currently frightened of a gorilla monster? It just made me check the foot of my bed. You never know!

Killian’s acting so strange. I mean, I know he’s being controlled but I guess this is how Rumple thinks he acts.

But I don’t want them to go!

Rumple! She got taken by a half man, half gorilla-man monster!

Is that Diablo? Just looked it up. Apparently it is! It’s interesting that they gave Cora a raven/crow too. Maybe it was a nod to Diablo.

Oh no!

I can’t help wondering if Zelena faked still being cursed somehow. The fact that the curse no longer affected her when she returned as herself to SB would suggest she was only pretending. But then, can she emulate ice magic? 

Rumple, holding Regina’s hand: “I’m about to get everything I desire. As unbelievable as it sounds. I want the same for you.” He seemed genuine! That’s interesting that he wants that for her. They have been through a lot together.

I know she can’t see him but it’s a bit awkward him kissing Regina when he can see who he thinks is his wife there.

What would have happened if Regina’s hand had gone over the town line? Would it be stuck there?

Aww. Little Roly playing drums on his daddy’s back. So cute!

Maleficent can turn herself into a flock of ravens? That checks!

Was Cruella the gorilla? If so, she’s changed her outfit. Maybe Maleficent can turn into a gorilla too??

It seems like only Maleficent can teleport out of the 3 of them and allow others to teleport. They call Ursula ‘the Sea Witch’ but does she have magic powers? According to wiki she can spell cast and she has mermaid magic but do we ever see her use it? They should have done more with her hypnotic voice. That could’ve been fun!

Omg Rumple this is the third time you’ve said “when the stars in the hat align with those in the sky..” I can’t stop laughing! It really tickles me!

No!! Don’t go Elsa and Anna and Kristoff!! You guys are awesome! I’m gonna miss you so much!

Frozen Swan has to part :’(. Now kiss. That hug!!

Glad Anna stayed behind to tell them about Gold.

Now put the hat on Killian’s head lol.

It darn exploded!

I wonder what it feels like to teleport. Is it as painful as apparition?

This Rumbelle scene is emotion!!

Rumple: I don’t wanna lose you. Belle: You already have.

Anna’s getting married!

I really don’t want them to go! I wish we got more of them in later seasons! 

Chocolate!

I love them! My heart hurts!

This has been on my mind for years but are Granny’s Inn and Granny’s Diner in the same building? Just checked. Apparently not! I prefer it that way.

Wow! Cool! Why does the Sorcerer have blank books?

Did Rumple tutor all the Queens of Darkness?

I knew he could easily get the gauntlet back from them.

How does Ursula even recognise Rumple without his scales? I’m not sure I would. 

Uh oh. Regina put ideas in Rumple’s head about changing his story.

[excorcismic]

YES i caved n’ decided to pick up my boy and YES i’m trying ,,, to right a quick rundown and plotting post while yearning for the sweet release of sleep bc orientation sapped me of all my energy BUT !! i’m , , ,  so excited . to pick up leon . so excited . i love this man more than anything and i’m OVER THE MOON to pick him up so let’s get on with it before i repeat myself one more time !!

IN A CANON NUTSHELL : so leon is a character originating from resident evil 2 ; he’s considered one of the chief protagonists of the series , but not the first . in his first appearance he’s a rookie cop and his first day on the job , raccoon city is overrun by zombies ( infected humans rather than the undead , though ) and after that day . . . leon can’t do it & because of his heroism for dealing with the raccoon city debacle , he’s made into a government agent instead . in resident evil 4 , he’s tasked with rescuing ashley - the president’s daughter - and ends up uncovering & battling a cult known as the los illuminados as they have their own zombie virus known as the plaga . then . . . in resident evil 6 dude ends up actually . killing the president because of the president getting infected with a zombie virus . long story short , leon’s been through a shit ton of zombie apocalypses ( and other monsters the virus creates ) and he’s exhausted . he tries to go on a vacation and then chris redfield busts in like that dancing paul rudd gif so even THEN homie can’t catch a break . but he’s a very good dude & perhaps one of the most good-hearted , selfless people on the planet - it’s just sad because he started out with so much hope and after witnessing so much horror that hope fades and is replaced with exhaustion & even a bit of cynicism . but not enough as to where he turns into a person that won’t give you the shirt off his back because oh yeah , he is . he’s just maybe a bit more distant and doesn’t smile as much as he used to . 

IN AN ALUCARD NUTSHELL : so leon is a former paramedic ( that sometimes still is called to do things ) turned hospital nurse - he was known for being the hero of the story multiple times in horrifying cases , and he’s overall gotten a pretty good reputation as a medic . however , the reason why he moved onto nursing was because the stress got too much for him for those dire situations after his divorce from his wife - miss cordelia chase . and now he’s just kind of trying to get through things but . things aren’t the best on his end even though he’ll try his best to power on through . he’s pretty okay but not great you know ?? 

BUT OOOOHHHH YOU WANNA PLOT WITH LEON SO BAD OOOOHHH

just to start off by saying idk if this list will be as long as misa’s bc it’s currently shortly after midnight and i’m getting more and more tired & incoherent as the clock just ticks away -

BUT ANYWAY . ppl who routinely come into the office / hospital he works at would be p cool and know him pretty well as a nurse from that . he doesn’t work in the ER most of the time ; though sometimes . he mainly is in the office doing stuff for checkups and all , clinical things . honestly tho it would be a bit of an interesting connection if sb went to the ER for embarrassing / stupid reasons ( party gone embarrassingly wrong , for example ) and leon’s the guy that has to help with it . just a Thought .

also coworkers !! idk if we have anyone from the medical field yet but there’s also that .

again he was married to cordelia so if ppl who know cordelia know him as cordelia’s ex-husband we can run w/ that and make smth out of that as well .

leon is also . kinda . lonely . like misa . can y’all see I Have A Type when it comes to muses AHHH - but anyways he spends a lot of his nights at bars and stuff so maybe some drinking/bar buddies he sticks with or the like . maybe waiters/bartenders who know him pretty well just from the fact he’s a regular , kinda know what’s going on with the dude .

like misa , neighbors . he’s not a spunk twenty-four year-old emo-fashioned mr. rogers like misa is but he’s a caring dude who looks out for them .

speaking of caring - maybe some ppl leon’s saved as a paramedic or in general just patients he treated for a while ?? i just . rly like the thought of leon caring for people on the job and then he finds them outside of it and he subtly cares for them off the job too . maybe even if it’s doing as much as sitting with them or comforting them when a loved one’s in the hospital or something . idk i just . like how much leon cares abt people .

okay so people from high school bc i lowkey headcanon leon wasn’t a troublemaker but he was more of a bad boy/rebel type just for the fact he had a tendency to do things that weren’t . by the rules . by the book . never mean or anything just maybe sometimes would hang out at abandoned buildings or late at night and now he’s significantly mellowed out and maybe that rebel is still somewhere inside of him but ur gonna have to dig it out a bit . and this could rly be anything too like friends , enemies , exes ( leon is bi u can pry that from my cold dead hands ) , etc . prom / homecoming dates , people who only knew him as a kid that got busted once for drinking alcohol in the back of somebody’s truck , etc . let’s have Fun with this .

also in general , just some good friends he’s always had ?? people who’ve known him for a long while and have still stuck with him .

exes !! whether it be pre-marriage or post-divorce . post-divorce i don’t think leon would rly stick in the relationship for long given he more than likely was not prepared at the time ( probably didn’t go past a few months , def some were just one-shot dates ) . again , he’s bi & capcom cannot take that away from me .

maybe a found family of sorts - leon . . . would be a great dad so maybe some younger folks he kinda dads over without meaning to .

AND AGAIN RLY . . . anything i’m sorry if this isn’t as detailed as misa’s bt IF I GET MORE IDEAS I SHALL ADD !!

this is long again i’m so sorry bt again react or like if ur interested in any of these connections !! imma retire 2 mobile n try to get some shut-eye .

[bigskydreaming]

Young Justice Season Three spoilers

YJ Producers: We have a Muslim superhero this season, look how great she is and how progressive we are!

Actual YJ episodes: Okay so Muslim superhero might be a bit of a stretch since well, if you wanna get technical, she’s actually a sentient piece of alien technology whose soul went into the body of a dead Muslim girl when her original alien tech got smushed. But even though she continually insists that she is not Gabrielle Daou, the Muslim girl whose body this was originally, and that’s the entire reason she chose a new name for herself, she is a completely different person aka a non Muslim, not even human person - she still wears a hijab! Totally counts!

YJ Producers: We always wanted to portray LGBTQ+ superheroes, we’ve actually had one the whole time and you just didn’t know it because mean old Cartoon Network wouldn’t let us show it, now that we’re on our own we can and will be showing LGBTQ+ characters this season!

Actual YJ episodes thirteen episodes into the season: Error 404 Content Not Found

YJ Producers: We’re finally gonna include Cyborg! Victor Stone is in the house, we love and appreciate that character so much, we really wanted to wait until we could do his story justice!

Actual YJ episodes: So see, after getting gruesomely almost-deaded after a huge blowout fight in which we showed Vic has a lot of rage cuz Black Teenage Boys Are Just Like That, that was all aimed at his dad for not showing any interest in his life and for never showing his son he cared until now cuz Black Dads Are Just Like That, well okay, yeah that sucks, but what happened NEXT is really cool - so his dad saved his life, right? Even if it was by using alien tech that every single person he came in contact with kept telling him wasn’t like normal tech, it was sentient and thus yes COULD be bad, which was further demonstrated through the fact that said life-saving tech kept like...hijacking Vic’s own body and turning him into a rage-monster that we could totally show being a Stereotype of Black Teenage Boy Aggression as he remorselessly hunted a terrified Violet but it wasn’t his fault, he was totally powerless to control his own actions cuz of the Evil Alien Tech in his body and like wait, whats bad about that, I forget the question??? Oh right! But stop WORRYING, its all good, see, as long as he stayed around Violet and never went too far from her ever, the woman of color had magic rage-pacifying skills that existed solely to calm down the Stereotypical Angry Black Teen when he couldn’t control himself because Reasons. LOL WHY ARE YOU UPSET, WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT, THIS IS A GOOD VICTOR STORY, ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED???

YJ Producers: We love and value our characters of color and would never hurt them, we’ve actually taken steps to make sure of that!

Actual YJ Episodes: Violet and Vic are both practically unkillable, see? As proof, watch us violently murder Violet in every single episode in new and creatively gruesome ways, with bonus Vic near-death experiences that allow us to show him just utterly wrecked in ways we’ve never shown a single white character, even in this season when we’re all about showing off how much creative freedom we have now without CENSORSHIP! 

YJ Producers: This season is also going to focus on the stress and mental health issues that go along with life as a superhero, and who better to demonstrate this by suffering from superhero-related PTSD than Jefferson Pierce? The guy whose divorce already showed the stress and relationship issues that go along with life as a superhero (since all our white heroes in relationships are still going strong)!

Actual YJ Episodes: Oh, nothing say about this one huh, PUNK? That’s right, we actually did exactly what we said we’d do, see? Just look at how much time we spend talking about how traumatized Jefferson is and how miserable he is after killing a kid, and that’s nothing we’ve ever done (or would ever do - SHH THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW THAT) to a white hero! PLUS, like, he’s definitely getting better though, thanks to the support of the much younger character he’s surrounded by, instead of y’know, turning to his established friends and colleagues his own age for support! AND AND AND don’t forget about his growing relationship with the white doctor lady who is definitely NOT super creepy and NOT likely to betray him and break his heart and/or force him to make painful decisions when choosing between her and the kids he’s vowed to protect at some climactic point later in the season that all of that is super clearly not building towards!

YJ Producers: And don’t forget about Jaime Reyes and Virgil Hawkins and Mal Duncan and Raquel and Karen! They’re all still here too!

Actual YJ Episodes: We’ve definitely forgotten that Jaime Reyes and Virgil Hawkins and Mal Duncan and Raquel and Karen are all still here too.

YJ Producers: Major life events have happened to these heroes offscreen in the time we’ve been away from them, stuff that’s really shaped who they are and who they’ve become by now. All this stuff really matters, its how we’re different from other shows, we don’t pretend these characters stop existing the second they’re off your screens! Looks, Barbara Gordon is in a wheelchair! She’s Oracle now!

Actual YJ Episodes: Why would we bother to explain when or how this happened with even a single line of dialogue when The Killing Joke exists and is available on our streaming service? You sound dumb.

YJ Producers: Kaldur is our proof of how important our characters are to our over-all universe, look how far he’s come! He’s not Aqualad anymore, he’s AquaMAN, he’s one of the co-chairs of the Justice League, right up there with Wonder Woman who he definitely doesn’t need to turn to for approval or oversight of his actual decisions!

Actual YJ Episodes: We’re pretty sure we covered all this in the two minutes of screen time Kaldur’s had all season!

YJ Producers: Look, bottom line, this season, being away from Cartoon Network really allowed us to stretch our wings and flex creatively, we’re doing a lot of stuff with this story that just wouldn’t have been possible before, when we were on a network like CN and had overseers restricting our every move! This season gets a lot darker, a lot more mature, a lot more everything cuz freedom of speech baby! That’s what its all about!

Actual YJ Episodes: In support of our thesis, watch us up the graphically violent content of every single episode and kill lots of people instead of just cartoonishly knocking them out and carting them away to jail! That’s it, that’s everything we wanted to do that CN wouldn’t let us, that now we have total freedom to prove in a myriad of ways! What do you mean, what about *looks at smudged writing on hand* LGB - look we can’t be expected to read what that says when we have graphic violence to depict, fuck yeah!

YJ Producers: Besides, in happier news, its not all doom and gloom this season! Connor and M’Gann got engaged! Now that we’ve completely moved past all the stuff M’Gann did in S2 and don’t consider it worth mentioning, Superboy and Miss Martian are back together, and SB is totally gonna marry the woman who betrayed him in the one highly specific way that goes back to the very source of every trust issue he has and reason he has so many walls pushing people away!

Actual YJ Episodes: Yeah this is definitely happening. Suck my dick, Connor fans and fans who relate to and identify with SB and his story and think its maybe just not the healthiest to wave a wand and go “Happily ever after!” With, y’know, the guy whose greatest canon fear and paranoia is the sanctity of his mind being violated and being unable to trust that his own thoughts are really his and not just being spoon fed to him in a pod at Project Cadmus or by his telepathic girlfriend when she doesn’t like his opinion or his criticism of her actions and just doesn’t want to fight about it anymore. Look, she said she was sorry, get over it. What more do you want? For Connor to move on and have a healthy romantic relationship with someone who he doesn’t ever have to wonder if his trust in her and second chance is real and valid and not just her making him say and do what she wanted, like the way she definitely has before? For him and M’Gann to rebuild their trust over time, gradually, as friends, with the understanding they can be close again but romantic intimacy between them specifically probably isn’t in the best interests of the guy who will always have to wonder now if his thoughts are really his, no matter whether or not that’s true? Yeah, no, that sounds like a lot of work tbh, and really, we just like Miss Martian and Superboy together, they’re just cute, you know? Sides, we killed Wally and we don’t actually wanna talk about why Barbara’s paralyzed now and like, focus on her as a character, so what other longterm pairings do we really have? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THESE ARE ALL OUR OWN CHOICES AND IF WE WANT BETTER FOUNDATIONS FOR OUR CHARACTER DYNAMICS WE SHOULD MAKE BETTER CHOICES? UGH GET OFF MY BALLS, MAN.

YJ Producers: We’ve got Terra this season, and we’re doing some really cool, brand new things there.

Actual YJ Episodes: Slade’s Apprentice arc from Teen Titans the show and The Judas Contract in the comics, but really aren’t they the same thing? If you think about it, is it even possible to do that in a new way? Look, its not like we could do anything MORE original than that, like what, did you want us to have Tara genuinely be the good and loving sister she was when she reunited with her brother and expressed how traumatized she was by the things she did when she was supposedly being mind-controlled, actually invested in saving other trafficked meta-kids from being used and hurt the way she had been? Like, the way it seemed she was being written before we revealed it was a fake-out and she was actually working for Slade exactly like those other times we swore we were gonna be more original than that? Ugh why are you so unrealistic, dude, you have such weird expectations.

Me: Like dear YJ, you’ve still got me watching, because like a) I’m weak and I need this, b) nostalgia, c) Dick, Artemis, Connor, Jefferson and the chance of Jason and also Violet, Brion and Vic are all still enjoyable as characters even though your treatment of them and your narrative choices are all extremely suspect and also craptastic and also I really wanna punch you for a lot of this.

But goddamn, this was NOT your best work, and after years of waiting only to get this? Like.....so not crash, dudes. Not even a little bit.

[kimseunghoney]

10 biases tag!

i was tagged by my lovelies @moonxlika 💛 @yeetdam 💛 @ggoncafe 💛 to do the worst tag in the world 🙃 so here we go (p.s. i love y’all uwu)

1. seunghun 🍯

2. taeyang 👑

3. mino 🔥

4. hyunsuk ⚡️

5. nam taehyun 🌹

6. bobby 🌊

7. byounggon 👅

8. chaerin 💋

9. woong ☀️

10. jennie 💄

[lika im stealing your emoji idea bc it was really cute. this is in no particular order!]

cue the long ass explanation nobody asked for:

listen y’all.. gdragon & jonghyun are my ult biases, but i just felt they weren’t quite suitable for this tag(?) also i wanted to show taeyang some love bc although he isn’t my bigbang bias, he’s easily one of my top five favourite idols. as for silver boys.. i didn’t know what to do ok? at first i wanted to cheat and make it an ot11 sb party. then i realised this wouldn’t work, so i decided to include only seunghun since apparently he’s my bias. then i was like no?? so here we have the holy trinity & woong (lika i’m not as brave as you, i’m keeping jihoon out of this). there are SO many people missing from this list i just really want. to. CRY. picking the biases was harder than the tag. ok bye. oh wait, i also wanna say that i genuinely bias everyone in 2ne1, i just miss queen cl especially rn ok

1. BETWEEN 1&4: WHO WOULD YOU RATHER KISS?

seunghun or hyunsuk?? fuck no. what is this. i’d kiss both plsjdjd. at least seunghun is taller than me tho i’m going with him :) also y e s his lips byeye i’m done

2. BETWEEN 2&7: WHO WOULD BE YOUR BEST FRIEND?

taeyang or byounggon.. this tag is hell. ok i feel like i’m quite similar to gon so idk.. we’d either get along really well or not at all? i’ve said i’m similar to taeyang too, but in a different way - our humour’s just very similar. so i’ll choose taeyang. i think we’ll have a lot of fun together just laughing at stupid shit and annoying each other. also he’s more extroverted and would bring me out of my shell (lowkey wish this question asked about hyunsuk, i’d choose him)

3. BETWEEN 5&10: WHO HAS THE BETTER VOICE?

nam taehyun! this was the easiest so far. look i LOVE jennie’s timbre SO much but namtae is one of my favourite kpop vocalists (yes, he’s not kpop anymore but whatever). there are only like two people that could be against him in this question that would make me budge (one of them is taeyang so thank god it didn’t ask me about 2&5..we’d be here all day)

4. BETWEEN 1&8: WHO IS THE FUNNIEST?

i’ll give it to seunghun! he’s really goofy. chaerin is more on the serious side (i don’t mean this in a bad way, don’t even think about it, i admire her so much) but she’s more of a person i’d rely on / lean on yaknow?

5. BETWEEN 6&9: WHO WOULD YOU DATE?

welp.. it’s getting inch resting. bobby is more bf material while woong is more husband material? but ngl bobby would be the most annoying bf ever, i’m going with woong. we going ✈️ serious relationship hours

6. BETWEEN 9&10: WHO WOULD YOU DO A COLLABORATION WITH?

woong or jennie?? i wanna pop off with my gf in a hard hitting song BUT an r&b duet with woong??? oh lord. listen r&b / soul is my shit and nothing tops that for me

7. BETWEEN 4&8: WHO IS THE BEST DANCER?

so.. two main rappers who can easily be main dancers?? why? i love them both, WHY? imma choose hyunsuk just to shit on yg for not choosing him during the ‘lie’ performance 🙃 the petty jumped out and idgaf

8. BETWEEN 3&5: WHO WOULD YOU MOST LIKELY MARRY?

mino or namtae LMFAO i don’t wanna marry either of them. where’s woong when you need him. look.. i love namtae like my son. he is my son. i genuinely just purely love him so much, i can’t even tell you. but also he’d be so D I F F I C U L T, idk if i can handle him (although i like difficult so hmm).. ig im stuck with mino.. BUT namtae would be the better husband imo

9. BETWEEN 1&7: WHO WOULD YOU NURSE WHEN THEY ARE SICK?

GONHUN HUH?? i feel like in this situation gon would be more independent(?) idk man.. can i take care of both of them?? i feel like seunghun will be highkey annoying tho 🙃 he’d take advantage of the situation to be a little brat. i pick gon

10. BETWEEN 2&3: WHO HAS A BETTER SMILE?

taeyang has the prettiest eye smile :( but i think i’ll go with mino bc his whole face just transforms when he smiles and i love that with people *cough*simon dominic*cough*

11. BETWEEN 6&8: WHO WOULD YOU VACATION WITH?

bobby would annoy me i just know it. but then again he’d make it very fun and memorable. he’s more adventurous and mayhaps i need someone like that on vacation with me. but.. a n n o y i n g. chaerin and i have very similar interests so i think we’ll vibe a bit better on vacation? like we would agree on what we want to do so it’d be easier. it’d feel like quality time with your older sister & i miss my older sister so.. chaerin! also i like being comfortable and she gives me comfy and homely vibes?

i feel like everybody has already done this / is already tagged, so whoever wants to do it, just say i tagged you 💛

[the-canary]

Kitchen Royalty - B.B (8/15)

Summary: Falling in love wasn’t on the menu, but neither was finding prince charming looking like a trash raccoon and living in your industrial freezer. (Pastry AU! Reader/Bucky Barnes)

Prompt: Sleeping Beauty

Masterlist

A/N: This is for @ciarawritesmarvel​ ‘s 1k challenge. *glares at chapter, only for chapter to glare back*

Please enjoy and feedback is always appreciated.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

The “talk” between you and Bucky doesn’t happen right away as it should, what with your building supervisor calling you and saying he has to have you come back to look at your apartment -- the rattling of pipes just being an infestation in disguise. You weren’t going back there anytime soon, as you prepared moving some stuff into storage and bringing some more clothing back with you. Between the two of you and Maria, the shop and the orders keep going but it isn’t the same as it was before. Smiles replaced with concerned looks and shying away from the biggest secrets at hand, as Bucky sees you look at the letter from time to time, because he is fully aware of what Marjorie's is --  it had been his mother’s major competition once across the bridge once, before it got too grand scale and now only had stores in the more “upper class” side of New York. However, the cold side of business never seemed important to you, as you smile caked in flour and other ingredients to your customers.

However, here you were -kind, selfless you- claiming that you were the daughter of someone who ran such a company. He couldn’t believe it, but frankly Bucky couldn’t remember much from a certain time either. Besides, he has his own fish to fry, as you knock on the door to his little room one Saturday evening, a  week after you have received the letter, with bag at hand and wearing a wistful smile.

“If you’re okay with talking to tonight, I brought cake and we could make some coffee,” you declare as blue eyes watch you shuffle nervously for a moment.

“Yeah,” he gets up with a defeated sigh, as if he is getting ready to face the firing squad.

 While, you were a good baker, you weren’t a miracle worker or patient enough to bake some things, or just weren’t good enough, at least in your head. The dreaded lava cake was one of them, but you loved to indulge on them when you could, especially from Pietro’s main workplace. The head chef and owner of Barton’s --an older, grumpy man that liked to tease Pietro-- Clint was an expert at making it. It was your comfort food and you were going to need after looking back at how exactly you started SB Pastry . After eating dinner, you feel blue eyes watching your every move from the other side of the counter as you take the cake out of the container and plate it with a side of vanilla ice cream.    

“My dad’s store wasn’t always so big, ya know?” you start off, as you take a spoon and cut the cake in half, watching the dark chocolate spill out, “He had one or two stores that he kept watch over, named them after his ma, entered competitions and just liked making people happy. Married, had my brothers and I. Worked everyday until he got sick, but never complained. Not once in his life.”

Bucky watches you take a bite out before digging in with his own spoon. You rub your eye with your sleeve, promising that you won’t cry thinking about your old man, you know he would have always wanted you smiling.

“Worked himself to death. Ma couldn’t pay the bills or keep the shops open on her own, so some financial consultants took it over on her behalf, made it what it is today,” you look away for a moment and huff out a breathe as Bucky’s hand softly grabs yours, “It survived, but at a cost and I couldn’t live with that. I’ve always been the firecracker in the family compared to my brothers. Fought tooth and nail with my mom, with the investors until I came of age. I took my share of what dad left and ran to Queens. This store is the only thing I have left of him.”

“You’re trying to keep his memory alive,” Bucky asks softly, as you nod though you vaguely remember the man that taught you how to bake and to be kind to everyone you met.

“It’s a struggle keeping this place open half the time,” you admit, remembering the last time you had looked into the accounting books, “And neither Rumlow or Rollins are gonna back down from destroying any potential competition.”

“You don’t have to enter,” Bucky tries to deflate your subtle anger, as you dig into the innocent ice cream before taking another bite and shaking your head. The bitterness of the dark chocolate matching your words.

“I’m not gonna coward and run away, Buck,” you explain, “I gotta do this.”

“Stubborn,” he says with a laugh, as you shrug.  The room is quite for a long moment, as Bucky gains the courage to talk, slowly taking off the glove on his left hand to show the metal you had only seen once before. Your eyes meet, as he gives you a sad smile.

“Signed up for the army straight out of high school. Did a couple of tours, killed people,” Bucky stops and take a quick bite of the cake, “Lost my arm in an attackand got sent back home. It’s been a struggle since I came back, doll.”

You’re silent as he hangs his head, waiting for you to say something, kick him out or tell him that he was an idiot for getting caught up in a hopeless war, he’s heard it all before but he knows it would kill him hearing it from your pretty lips. Instead he hears you whisper: Can I touch it?

He nods and gasps silently at the change in density of his metal hand. He feels you lift it and press it to your face, cradling it like its fine china and not some type of monstersity. Something soft presses against the center, as he lets out a choked sob at the immediate acceptance you have of him, of the endless kindness you have shown him, and in the stillness of your kitchen -- something bittersweet, like the ice cream covered in chocolate, begins to bloom in his chest.   

 Over the next couple of days, Bucky watches you apply and prepare your proposal with Maria, who had at least two degrees in business, from what he understood. To enter the competition, you needed a corporate sponsor and the two of you had thought it would be best to ask the one man that had brought the spotlight to your little store -- Tony Stark. It was a long shot, but there was an excited grin on your face that Bucky couldn’t help but admire. He had promised himself that he would stay as long as you would need him, then he would consider going back home -- going back to Brooklyn and his own life. Even if you hadn’t rejected who he was and his past, he couldn't keep taking advantage of your kindness forever, he needed to move on and find his own way.  

“Buck,” you drag him out of his thoughts after the morning rush, as he notices you holding a plastic folder, “Do you wanna see our finished proposal?”

Blue eyes soften at the sight of you excited over your concept and gives you a look over as you are dressed in a black dress and heels,. Happy having gotten you a meeting with Mr. Stark for later in the day, after you had pleaded with him relentlessly. Excitement and a mixed of emotions bubbled in his chest as he nodded, you handing him the folder with a huge smile. He looks over it once, twice -- eyes widening at the signature of your proposal... pudding .

“Isn’t that a little conventional for a bakery?” he questions, as you look away a little embarrassed.

“It’s fulfilling a promise from a long time ago, okay?” you explain, a bit shier than before. Bucky nods, though a little unconvinced, thus he decides to say the first thing that pops up into his head.

“What? From a boy?”

“Yeah, my pudding prince,” you admit, as Bucky sees how the look in your face softens as if almost lost in a sweet memory, “I know it’s silly and I doubt he would even care, much less remember, but I promised if I entered this competition...I would use pudding.”

Bucky stands frozen for awhile, as you turn to look at him a little worried. His grip tightens on the folder, but before you can ask if anything is wrong, Maria comes barreling into the kitchen.

“Mr. Stark is here!” she declares, as you jump out of your business dress for a moment, thinking that you were going to go over there and not that the billionaire would drive to your dingy shop in Queens.

“Oh shit,” you grab the folder, grasping Bucky’s hand for a moment and dragging him out of his stupor, “Wish me luck!”

“You don’t need it, but good luck,” he gives you a boyish grin, the more carefree you have seen him in all the time you had known him, as he squeezes your hand tightly before letting go. Mr. Stark’s voice declaring that he is here and the excited crowd in the front of the shop dragging you away. Bucky is left alone in the back, as a faint memory bubbles to the surface.

“Pudding, huh?” is all he manages to say to himself.

Part 9

[spector]

JOSEPH’S ROUTE MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. first of all, we get the nice message of ‘hey look, hes the confirmed bisexual of the series and HE CHEATS ON HIS WIFE. WE TRICKED YOU INTO THINKING HIS WIFE CHEATS ON HIM, BUT NO, IT IS HE, THE BISEXUAL’ 

so thats the first bad thing.

second bad thing, the whole cheating thing. cheating is wrong. we all know that, some freaks on this site dont, but im gonna assume they arent following me. but the thing is the player is led to believe that joseph finished his relationship with mary and thus he wants to enter a relationship with dadsona. a little bit too fast, a little bit too fairy-tale like but hey, its a dating sim, who am i to question some incredulous events happening in it? WRONG, says the joseph route writer. this is the REAL life and in REAL LIFE people dont just divorce sb to be with you, in real life, there are mlm cheaters who are going to use you and betray your trust and youre an idiot for believing you could have a happy ending with joseph. joseph is the only character in the game with whom u cannot have a happy ending, furthermore hes the only character You Don’t Really Get To Know. the only thing u know at the end of the game is that he puts on these various masks but when does he do that? why does he do that? its interesting, its compelling, u wanna know more about him but you cant and the game says ur a fucking idiot because u wanted to make a married man cheat (even tho at the moment of cheating u hear that their relationship is over).

even if u didnt want to cheat, i dont remember there being an option for saying ‘uhh okay but lets wait till the divorce is finalized’ so idk i guess u dont have a choice

third bad thing is my main gripe, something i already mentioned above. this is a dating sim that is completely unrealistic, its COMPLETLY escapist. what are the odds of moving into a cul de sac filled with mostly single and mostly gay dads. and all of them so beautiful and dare i say, quirky. chances are none. from the very beginning, this game is not realistic and it shouldnt strive to be realistic. none of dating sims are, theyre not meant to mirror real life. they are! escapist! and theres nothing wrong with that!!!! dream daddy is a perfect world where everybody is LGBT, theres no homophobia, no transphobia, everybody is perfectly accepting of one another, u never have to talk about your lgbt experience (which is a topic for another essay but i gotta pace myself), its all perfect!!!!

but all of the sudden, when u pick josephs route, you are supposed to go back to the real world. and in the real world, there are cheaters and lying men who are just looking for a quick fuck. and u just fell for those lies, u believed this religious blond bisexual man and he played u like a fiddle. and how could u not see that coming, asks the writer of that route. did u think u were playing an idealistic dating sim?? :thinking: 

this clashes HARD with the rest of the game. im not saying dating sims should have no conflict at all, no of course not, conflict is welcome. robert’s route has a very good conflict in it, robert has some issues, ur dadsona helps him get his shit together. good conflict, well written, good resolution. but joseph has a conflict on which u as a player, have no influence over. u never get to discuss his marriage, not in a way that matters, u never get to propose a solution, ur never allowed to critically analyze whats happening. 

ur final ending is decided for u, no matter what what u do. and in a dating sim........ thats just.... not how they work. your decisions are what makes the story unfold in certain ways, the agency should be yours. but joseph has no good ending because the writer decided to be realistic in the saddest way, the way that reminds you that bisexual people lie and cheat and that generally, lgbt relationships are built on sensationalized drama and pain

theres so many more things i could cover -- how mary is treated in that route, how religion factors into all of it, how family life influences the route, but ultimately, its all just........ a huge disappointment which feels extremely out of place in the DDADDS universe. nobody who buys this game expects harsh realism of doomed gay relationships. somebody might argue that this is what makes josephs route so interesting but i think thats ... fake, sensationalised interest. we could have the same conflict with robert and mary, already an ex-wife. but instead the writer has to get his ‘haha gotcha. this story cant have a happy ending because this is the real world’

but its not the real world

[vigilantewives]

Lmao I can't believe there are supposed cs fans trying to defend the rape storyline in regards to wish hook. Nah that's messed up, it's obvious they only ever liked killian because he was a man and hot. I can't stand fake fans. Smh. I don't support Walmart killian jones

Look tho, I understand where they’re coming from. Gothel is a villain who committed a villainous act, because she’s a villain, but IDGAF if she a villain or not. The fact is that these writers aren’t gonna ever address what happen.

Biggest one, Regina with Graham. She had control over his heart, he did whatever she asked of him. But y’all “she was a villain committing a villainous act”. But um, I must’ve missed all them episodes where she faced the consequences of her actions. Graham never even got the chance to confront her, because he was murdered… by her.

Robin was married to Marian, Marian dies, but after the whole CS movie thing, Marian was saved and brought back to present day SB, only it wasn’t Marian, it was Zelena masquerading as Marian, Robin’s wife. He unwillingly and unknowingly slept with his who he thought was his “wife” and a child was conceived from that vile act, but “she was a villain committing a villainous act”. Did she face any consequences? (Nope, after all “life was kicking [Regina] in the teeth.” Yep, made it all about her when it wasn’t about her.) Robin, who was the victim, couldn’t even confront Zelena, because according to his girlfriend/soulmate, Zelena had changed, and he didn’t even get to have a say in his child’s life. Next thing you know, he’s obliterated from existence, never to be seen from or heard of again. But no repercussions of that, huh?

Now, we have Wish Hook, trying to help someone and in exchange for that, he gets played, raped and has a child all within a fucking night. But y’all “she is a villain committing a villainous act.” But these fucking asshole writers aren’t gonna address it because plot plot PLOT and all that bullshit. 

After the backlash they got when the Zelena/Robin assault happened, the fact that they have the nerve, the fucking N E R V E, to do that again, makes me wanna find each and every one of them houses and smack ‘em in the face.

And to your “fake Hook fans”, because “he’s a man and hot” lmao and? I guess I’m fake too. However, I’m not okay with this shit happening, because “she is a villain committing a villainous act.” Fuck all that noise and bullshit. It’s not even about that, these writers aren’t gonna bring it up, that’s what I’m mad about.

I’m gonna have to disappoint you again here, because I am all for Walmart Killian Jones, because the KJ we’ve known for 5 seasons, is with his wife and unborn child in SB away from all this bullshit mess, thank fucking god. And as much as I hate everything about this realm, you know how much I hate it, I’m all aboard the puppy eagle scout Rogers train, and I’m here for KnightRook as well, the only thing on this show right now that holds my interest completely. I hate that the writers did it this way, but I can’t do anything to change it.

[helianthus21]

Hello! From one bitter Cass stan (who used to be all TFW positive) to another, I too am scared. Because I can't shake the feeling that Castiel won't have that much involvement in the season's arc, if at all. I don't believe a word that comes out of Dabb's mouth because he's a known liar (queue s12). I'm just wondering how disappointed I will be 😞

hey! Okay I’ll do this under the cut because while I guess by now ppl who follow me know I’m not S13 positive, I want the ones who are to have a chance to be able to easily scroll past thisAlso warning: This got more bitter in tone than I expected, so if you want sb to give you some hope and positivity, turn away now! But since you came into my ask box I doubt you wished for that:P

(Just in general: if you wanna vent about the show, my message thingy is always open, turns out I’m not done venting yet either, and that way I can keep it mostly off my blog;) anyway, dude, I feel you. I had tentative hope at the beggining of S12 that with the new showrunner things are gonna change for the better, but honestly? I don’t trust Dabb anymore either. Don’t get me wrong, I still think he’s a good screen writer, but there are things that happened in S12 that I think if he really wanted the show to change he’d not have let them pass. I’m aware that Ross-Leming is married to Singer, and Singer has a lot say in things, and yeah I have no idea how the showrunning business works, but things like Sam/Toni? Couldn’t he have put his foot down on that one if he initially had other plans for her character? And 12x21 man, this time Dabb can’t hold his hands up in all innocence like he did after Charlie. Because he might not have written her death scene, but he’s the fucking showrunner. I doubt Bucklemming are authorized to decide getting rid of her on their own, so like. Yeah, I have a grudge against Dabb. I mean, on the one hand I think if Cas actually gets to have some introspection before he comes back, gets to talk with someone important (Chuck? Billie? himself?) in the Empty or wherever, that could be a real chance for him to overcome his depression and accept himself the way he is (’Are you an angel or a man?’ - ‘Neither. Both.’) (^which would be my ideal way for this to go as you probably already know:P).But on the other hand - argh, I get that they’re going this ‘accentuate his importance via the boys pining in his absence’ route - but good lord, haven’t they done this enough in S12? Haven’t they done this enough in S11 too? Back then I was so hopeful that it was gonna lead somewhere. I told myself, “Okay, Cas is practically gone for the second half of the season but it’s gonna be worth it in the end! At the season finale he’s gonna come back and he’s gonna have some major role to subvert all the things Amara and Ambriel said and what he himself believes about himself, because he’s gonna prove himself as a hero! He’ll reject Lucifer as a first step on the long way to get his self-worth back and show that he’s not someone who just ‘helps’ and that he’s far from ‘expendable’.” I told myself that the whole time - 12 EPISODES, he was gone for 12 EPISODES!! - that he was gonna come back with a bang and it was all gonna be worth it. Because I liked the Casifer arc goddammit, it had potential. Because, for me, this was the only logical way for this to go! But then, of course, he came back and basically just stood around while everyone else got to do a part (yeah, being insulted some more by his fellow angels does not count in my book, and neither does this terrible beer run conversation, don’t even get me started on that one) while everyone got a bit of a scene with Chuck. Everyone except the one who, you know, spent basically his whole character arc searching for God, playing God, losing his faith in God - nah, that’s apparently not of import to the writers  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯So you’ll excuse me if I don’t get my hopes up that Cas’ death in 12x23 is gonna actually lead to something this time. I’m not very interested in spending the first few episodes without Cas - “really feeling his absence” bc dude I’ve been feeling his absence all the damn time! They exlude him from scenes and episodes when it’s actually working against the plot and against all logic not to have him there (see 11x09), because the format for some reason demands Misha to be in X episodes and so he won’t be in more than X episodes.I mean, sure, the three Cas-centric episodes in S12 were honestly glorious! But that doesn’t change the fact that he was in less episodes than Mary or Crowley. Quality before Quantity, yes, but then please give me this quality in all of his episodes. I don’t know about you, but him going around interviewing a few ppl, ‘searching for a lead’, that’s not what I’d call quality. That’s not really all there is to hunting and Dabb promised more hunter!Cas in S12 didn’t he. Also is quantity and quality really so hard to pull off? I mean...?? As for his involvement in the next season - I don’t know man. I probably can’t say a lot about that, or shouldn’t, because I’ve run out of chances to give the writers so I’m not gonna keep watching. They did say he shared some ‘bond’ or whatever with Jack so he’s probably gonna have a role in the overall arc, but then I had similar thoughts during the Casifer arc so..At least, the bond’s not gonna be of a romantic kind since Jack is a boy, not a girl, so there won’t be sexual undertones there, although tbh I can’t bring myself to be interested in Jack and his story? Maybe I’d think differently if they’d handled things with Kelly differently.. A shame, really, because the nature vs nurture thing does make for an interesting subject. Anyway, I know it’s too early to judge, but I get the people who worry that this storyline will yet again be taken away from him and fall instead into Sam and Dean’s hands. Wouldn’t be the first time ya know. And like I said, I’m not the best person to talk to about this, bc I can’t seem to find this storyline all too appealing bc of the way they led up to it.. which normally wouldn’t bother me too much since the characters are still A+ and they can make up for any not-so-interesting plot points, but after Eileen, not even that is enough for me tbh.So yeah, you can tell I’m still high-key pissed at the writers. Hey, I watched 12x21, the whole abomination of an episode, I think I deserve to still be bitter. Sorry though.But on a lighter note: the Empty does have potential and we shouldn’t write it off before we - well you - see it (I’m sure I’ll look at gifsets of it^^). And there’s The Hug to look forward to which I’m sure won’t be downplayed if just because Misha and Jensen and Jared know their characters and they wouldn’t half-ass this important reunion.If you wanna give S13 a chance, I’d say don’t get your hopes up too much, but also don’t think the worst? Because having your hopes crushed sucks, but if you only expect the worst, you probably won’t be satisfied with anything. This is all the advice I can give if I put myself into a more neutral position for a minute^^.