#I was gonna do art for this til I remembered my art skills are mediocre at best

[isobel-thorm]

nic/john/sharky and “I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot.”

Combined with @zacklover24‘s prompt #11: “Be my wife” - though changed accordingly. 

It’a Beautiful Morning, We’re Looking for Something Dumb to Do

During a particularly lazy morning, Sharky lets some insecurities slip and John and Nic have a question for him in response. 

Nicolette Raylan had marched back into Prosperity’s master bedroom, intent on letting her husband and their boyfriend have it for letting her be the only productive one that morning. They had a lot of work to do that day. They needed to turn one of the vegetable gardens, check up on the Ryes and deliver a few building supplies to Wheaty, and she wanted to get a head start on the day. But her boys hadn’t moved at all, and they hadn’t even come to investigate when she had showered and left the bathroom door open. She was intent on finally dragging them out of bed, but the sight to behold stopped her in her tracks in the doorway.

Sharky was out cold, but he had shifted since she had left. His head was on John’s forearm and he had brought up his knees to John’s chest.

For someone who, even before the Collapse, never shut up about John’s assumed sexual prowess, Sharky seemed more content to cuddle with the man.

Still, the sight was adorable, and she went to retrieve the old Polaroid camera she had found while scavenging one of the old bunkers a while ago. The boys were going to kill her, but if she got to commemorate this, so be it.

She found the camera and took the photo.

The noise woke John and he blinked wearily at her for a moment, then upon realizing Sharky had one of his arms pinned, he heaved a tired sigh and lifted one hand in order to beckon her back to bed.

“We’ve got things to do,” Nicolette pointed out.

“Then what was the point of coming out to my place? Besides, yeah we do, and you’re on our list, Shorty,” Sharky pointed out, though his voice was sleep-heavy.

“We run this place. We’re entitled to sleep in.”

Nicolette tiptoed over to him and poked the Sloth tattoo on his chest, but realized too late it had put her in grabbing range, and John leaned up in order to get an arm around her and pulled her across his body and in between him and Sharky. For someone who had at least initially protested, she gave up immediately and stretched out along John’s side.

John turned his attention to Nic’s outfit- if you could call it that. One of his button-ups with nothing underneath- she knew he could appreciate that, at least. It was the fact that he was clearly distracted by her wearing a pair of Sharky’s boxers- made perfectly evident by the flame patterns-  was paired with his shirt. “What… is this?” he snapped the waistband of the boxers for good measure.

“Hey, they are freshly washed entirely clean, thank you very much.”

John had no idea what the Hell that meant, but judging by how Sharky snorted, he figured it was an inside joke. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to understand it.

“I just miss my college hot mess days,” Nicolette protested.

“You’re always a hot mess,” John corrected.

“Thank you. I just wanted to look the part again,” she replied as she passed him the mug of coffee then lay down so she was back to chest with Sharky and draped her legs over the man. “You love it, don’t lie.”

“I do but I’m still appalled at your taste.”

“I can say the same about my choice of men, too.”

John shrugged. “Well, you did pick Charlemagne.”

“Hey, fuck you,” Sharky cut in,

John flicked his ear, and Sharky immediately did it back.

Comfortable silence passed for a while as  Nicolette got settled back into bed- or at least what two of them thought was comfortable silence.

“Hey.. … you guys know I love you, right?”  Sharky asked after a while.

Nicolette, already experienced with Sharky’s switch of topics gone from comparing shitty action movies to comparing him and her to the characters and then an extremely heartfelt confession, bolted upright in order to face him. “Of course we do.”

“I was joking, Boshaw,” John agreed.

“No! I know that, I jus’… I dunno, I ain’t good with words like you two.”

“Sharky,” the other two said simultaneously, same tone inflection and all, by sheer chance.

Sharky motioned at them. “See? That. I don’t have that with y’all, and I just… I don’t know. I just… wonder if I’m starting to intrude here is all. I mean I know we’re all a thing and it goes beyond this place an’ all but-”  

Nicolette stared at him for a moment, and she could feel John tense, at a loss. “Of course it goes beyond a bed. You’re my best friend, pretty sure John can count the number of friends he’s got on one hand and you’re one of the first couple of fingers, Cal still calls you ‘Dad’ half the time and the jig’s been up for years, you’re part of us, part of this,” she insisted. She thought for a moment. “You know that garbage show V you had me watch during one of our marathons back before things went to shit?”

“Yeah?”

She pointed to herself. “Erica,” she pointed to John. “Hobbes,”  she pointed to Sharky. “Jack. Hell, Star Wars. Leia, Han, Luke before it got weird. Ariadne, Eames, Arthur, get me? You’re part of us. I promise. There’s just…”  she trailed off.

“We had to come a long way before we could happen,” John offered, squeezing Nicolette’s hip gently to make the point he meant just the pair of them. “It was a lot of work and changing, so… we might have a… deeper understanding of each other on some level. With you two it’s easier because there was… nothing to change. You weren’t on opposite sides- well, as heavily as we were. You two were immediately best friends, immediately something- I didn’t have that luxury.”

Sharky paused, considering.

“Hey, we love you too. You’re one of us. Promise. Okay?” Nicolette tossed her leg over his again and leaned into him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sharky nodded, though he only seemed two-thirds convinced.

“Hey,” Nicolette repeated, “You only aren’t official because we didn’t think you were big on the whole commitment thing. We figured with all your stories about all your game you’d wanna move on.”

Sharky looked perplexed for a few seconds. “I mean, I did, but… then I realized what you just said. I mean y’all are the closest thing to best friends I’ve got and we’ve all been through some shit together and I fuckin’ love Cal and you’re both so attractive I just wanna slap you and then this shit happened and we didn’t fuck anything up and you still like me and we’re still friends and I uh… I just… really… like this? And uh-”

“Marry us,”

Sharky slammed his mouth shut at her request, then looked at John who looked equally startled, but John being John immediately let the look of surprise drop and he looked at the other man expectantly.

“Uh, wha…?”

“Be. Our. Husband,” Nicolette replied.

Sharky blinked at John, who shrugged. “You’re… proposin’? Here?”

“If I’ve let my idiot of a best friend-boyfriend think for a second that he’s not good enough for me or us, I’ve fucked up nearly beyond repair, so yes. Be our husband.”

Sharky looked from her to John and back. “Uh… Johnny Boy?”

“My wife is asking you a question, Charlemagne. We’ve… discussed it. Now all that’s left is you actually answering.”

“And I wouldn’t be-”

“You haven’t been imposing at all ever,” John cut him off. “We were just… being weary of you mentioning not wanting to get married.”

Sharky started again, then scoffed. “Fuck what I said, man. I’d marry the shit out of y’all. So uh… Yes.”

Nicolette shrieked at that and immediately started peppering him with kisses, and John merely managed to reach up and take Sharky’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze to avoid overwhelming the poor man.

When Nicolette finished with him, Sharky pulled away, beaming, then stopped short. “Hold up, is this like your guys’ common law marriage bullshit with you guys just calling each other it, or that whole to do by the Yes sign when y’all got actually married?”

“Your call,” John answered.

“… Can we just have a small thing at your place?”

“Of course.”

“Right on,” Sharky nodded slowly. “Man, Auntie Addie’s gonna be so jealous.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet,” John deadpanned playfully.

“Holy shit, I’m gonna be a fuckin’ Raylan. How badass is that?”

“Pretty badass. And babe, you’ve been a Raylan since you went dynamite fishing in my presence like, the first week I knew you. I thought only my family was dumb enough to do that.”

“Hey, it fucking works.”

“Only you would focus on that, considering what we just asked you.”

“Hey, I can multitask. I’m just that multitalented,” Sharky objected.  “Like right now, I am perfectly happy if we get to the X-rated celebratin’ part.”

“That, is the most sensible thing you’ve said the whole day,” Nicolette pointed out, though she scooted up so she could throw one leg over his hip.

“Including ‘yes’?”

“Especially including yes. Horrible mistake you’re making, marrying us.”

“Yeah, well, I’m an idiot, but I’m your idiot.”

“You’re damn right you are,” she replied, before the three of them promptly went through with Sharky’s request.

[antisocialxconstruct]

If you could tell a young teen who's struggling with anxiety some advice on gaining confidence, what would you tell them?

Oh man... to be honest, when I first saw this my immediate reaction was “what... me? Do I really come off as someone with a lot of confidence?” But I think maybe that actually illustrates exactly the advice I would offer, which is this:

Confidence is a learned skill just like anything else.

What does that mean? Well 1) it’s something you have to make a conscious choice to practice until it comes naturally, and it’s the kind of thing you will do badly for a while before you do it well. (The old “fake it til you make it” cliche does have some legs.) And 2) it can be helpful to think of confidence as something you project, rather than something you simply are.

I am an artist, because almost every day I sit down and decide to create art. And sometimes I stay in my comfort zone and draw a head facing left because I don’t want to work too hard. Sometimes I have an idea I can’t fully execute, and I do a mediocre job. Sometimes I push myself, and am surprisingly pleased with the result!

Confidence is the same. You will have to choose your moments to act confident, whether that means buying a soda at the corner store without mumbling, or making a phone call even if you’ll be jittery the rest of the day, or wearing a flashy pair of shoes you’ll have to commit to the entire time you’re out of the house. You’re gonna lose your nerve sometimes. You’re gonna second guess yourself halfway through. But sometimes, it goes well, and you’re going to feel really good about it! (Maybe someone will even say they like your shoes.) And you’ll remember that feeling next time. And over time, the things that were a little bit scary will become less scary because you did them confidently and nothing went wrong, and then not scary at all when you keep doing them, and you’ll start thinking “well if I did that, maybe I can do this” about bigger and bigger things.

I also think, when you start thinking about confidence this way, other people start to be a little less intimidating. Sure there are people out there who are just naturally charismatic or brassy or whatever, and nothing can shake them, but more often than not, everyone else is going through the same thought process you are. They’re doing things they don’t want to do, things that make them nervous, things they want to be better at so they just have to bite the bullet and try. And if you consider that we’re all just out here doing our damnedest to trick the rest of the world into seeing us as functioning human beings, you start feeling a little less like you’re the odd one out for having to work at it too.