#I was gonna try to design aloy too but god

[system-threat-detected]

Horizontober day 11: Royal

I didn't forget this time I just had to design two entire characters. It's a Persona 5 Royal crossover featuring our very own Sunhawk Talanah Khane Padish! Doing Persona designs is really hard for me even though I love the game and the aesthetics... I did my best! Talanah's image of rebellion is a cowboy/outlaw.

This is the most niche thing I could have possibly drawn but my target audience is myself so... Deal with it sorry lol

[illegiblewords]

ILLEGIBLE’S TOTALLY SUBJECTIVE FAVORITE EORZEA COLLECTION DESIGNS: MALE

I’ve mentioned in the past, the main thing that made me start playing FFXIV properly was seeing people’s character designs. I’m still honestly blown away by the creativity and range of approaches people bring to this game, so I’ve decided to be an absolute madwoman and break my favorites into subcategories to share with anyone curious.

And to be clear. I’m not going to do something so broad as “oh top ten in-general :3″ because that would be sensible. No, I’m going to do it for all the current combat jobs. And all the current races. And different genders within the races and combat jobs as things stand. And I’m going to make a model-focus subcategory. And there are gonna be LOTS. Because I seriously cannot understate how inspired I’ve been by this community, and after however many years I just feel the need to vomit some incredible visuals I’ve encountered at you guys lol.

NOTE: In an abundance of caution, I want to stress this list isn’t a value judgment on anyone but a fragment of things that blew me personally away. Looking at the DRK sections it will be immediately clear that I Illegible really like that edgy dark knight aesthetic lmao, but there are plenty of non-edgy dark knights that I also love to bits. Other people might not like edgy dark knights. Due to a combination of size and search constraints plus trying to keep gear somewhat varied, these glamours are just what wound up on this particular list of mine. I could make another list one day. Other people can make lists too that are totally different.

Also, I was originally going to make a single post that went over male and female options presented in the character creator but straight up tumblr wouldn’t let me save because it got too big. You can see the female character post here.

And without further ado, let us begin.

COMBAT JOB GLAMOURS

PALADIN

- A Sinner’s Call by Skollhati Wolfhead

- Divine Judgment by Seth Alexander

- Chevalier by Avenaux Dzemael

- Holy Blade of the Goddesses by Lys Aludra 

- Metal Against the Clouds by Leon Aquitaine

- Spiky Paladin by Hunty Tohsaka

- Ishgardian Nightwatch by Leon Aquitaine

- The Centurion by Kaien Shimazu 

- Veteran Knight by Jax Shadowbane

- Archadian Magister: Chaos, Walker of the Wheel by Callum Crossy

WARRIOR

- Coerthan Berserker by Xennon Song

- Skullrender by Xennon Song

- Red Maw by Remearus Maes

- Mistbeard’s Guardian by Galandor Atreides

- Ash Fender by Keiteaux Kisarre

- Wandering Beast by Jax Shadowbane

- Battle Worn by Lyrus Omega 

- At The End Of All Things by Leon Aquitaine

- Demon Warrior by Ravian Ild

- Chieftain by Topher Kyo 

DARK KNIGHT

- The Deepshadow by Erin Arckanger

- Nightmare of the Paragons by Papa Cool'down

- The Oathkeeper by Dividus Yliaster

- Deus Knight by Dan Var

- Rage Awakened Final Mix by Fortnite Ninja

- Bale by Xennon Song

- Vampire Baron Knight by Lud Wachtel

- Gothic Souls by Krosah Makara

- Lunarian Knight by Xennon Song

- The Descendent of Ascians by Skyion Skytiel

GUNBREAKER

- Soot-Scaled Striker by Callum Crossy

- Unbound Hecatonchires by Callum Crossy

- The Lone Gunbreaker by Sir Owl

- Alliance Commander by Nova Kie

- Gunblade of the Lost by Ludin Hreitharr

- The Filibreaker by Atticus Averbach

- Neo-Skallic Guardian by Leon Aquitaine

- A bulwark in brass and steam by Filibert Lilibert 

- Plains Tribe Rite of Passage by Filibert Lilibert 

- Spaceage cowboy by Phon Fawn

DRAGOON

- A Slumbering God’s Herald by Lud Wachtel 

- The Elder Primals - Neath Dark Waters by Cassius Toledo

- The Occupied Drow City of Skalla by Leon Aquitaine

- Dravanian Viking by Sarafina Vadre

- The Wolf by J'roric Citlalloh

- Tribal Hrothgar Dragoon by Noxelus Virmire

- whitewind by Chiceneaux Selechant

- Edensguard by Kyo Ise

- Dragonblood Knight by Sylvaire Catrevaut

- Mercenary in Mixed Metals by Filibert Lilibert 

SAMURAI

- The Dragon of Doma by Ky Tanimura

- Shadow of the Shifting Sands by Dai Tachibana

- Homura by Remearus Maes

- Monster Slayer by Kaien Shimazu

- Good Hunting by Remearus Maes

- Jury by Remearus Maes

- Ronin of the Steppe by Remearus Maes

- Dominicus Secutor by Remearus Maes

- Warg Samu by Fena Mizu

- White Dragon by The Solideizer

NINJA

- Armored Ninja by Ludger Magniar

- Desert Scar by Magnus Wolfwood

- Righteous Assassin by Lys Aludra

- Classic Shinobi Traditional Ninja Garb by Mog Champ

- White Dragon by King Resh

- Deadly Emissary by Lys Aludra

- night’s blessed by Chiceneaux Selechant

- Umbral Blade by Arik Nergui

- Ascianssin by Dragoon Scythe

- Wolf of Twelveswood by Punch Mage

MONK

- Fists of the Sun by Alois Lefleur

- Inner Beast by T'yan Ardeo

- Vathliege Samurai by Austen Bloodspatter

- Ala Mhigan Monk by D'jango Dojango

- Bozjan Brawler by Sahl Suh

- Liberator by Thriced Talon

- Flightless Hawk by Remearus Maes

- Firebrand by Lys Aludra

- Debugging in Process by Uskhal Dalamiq

- Falling Eagle by Feather Relanah

BARD

- Reaper-Inspired Bard by Flower Blossom

- Purest arrow by Lys Aludra

- Hunter of Lost Souls by Sahl Suh

- Bloodsinger by Lys Aludra

- Wanderer of the Past by Nyuki Dewinter

- Maelstrom Song by J'roric Citlalloh

- Sand Hunter by R'yo Aderyd

- Tactical Automaton by Lys Aludra

- Ballads of Azim Steppe by T'yan Ardeo

- Violet Archer by T'yan Ardeo

DANCER

- Flying Guillotine by Punch Mage

- Shadowed Step by Callum Crossy

- Rift Crusader by Onuki Saiga

- Prince Ali by Leisha Aysheen

- Battle Dancer by Ray Stormbringer

- Paglth’an Dancer by Vib'e Cheque

- Waterfall Adagio by T'yan Ardeo

- Memories of a Silhouette by Damien Cavalier 

- Midnight Mint by Violet Wooden

- The Dancing Plague by Geraltus D'doritus

MACHINIST

- Fran - Chase by Goelia Sarantia

- Gunslinger by Lys Aludra

- Well-Stocked Sky Pirate by Sari Mogari

- Bozjan Ops by Ilium Lavendeer

- Wild Western Demon Hunter by Mori Sumire

- High Class, High Seas by Yannick Ostheimer

- Onmyo Bullet by Uskhal Dalamiq

- The Wanderer by Dividus Yliaster

- Wildfire by Lys Aludra

- Intrepid Expeditioner by Brazen Elk

BLACK MAGE

- Bohemian Mage by Darmoreaux Lestrange

-  Bonewicca Cultist by Baruk Twinfang

- Chosen of Thal by Jophrey Lethe

- Abyssal Wizard by Jarvis Brakkenwork

- Summer Augurer by Uskhal Dalamiq

- the dark wizard by Eldar Claymore

- Masque of the Red Death by Junius Naenia

- Desert Cultist by Mayo Takoyaki

- Herald of the Zodiac - Geminis by Leisha Aysheen

- Herald of the Zodiac - Aries by Leisha Aysheen

SUMMONER

- Desert Emperor by Nilla Balthasva

- Arch Demon Summoner by Demnoc Crohn

- Verbatim by Twitch Prime

- Shinshoku by Callum Crossy

- The Fool by Bruno Brecher

- The Wandering Mage by Camilla Croft 

- Gilded Evoker by Zionek Aurum

- Ensorceled Evoker by Haereidin Doeszwynsyn

- Dusk Groom by J'roric Citlalloh

- Deepwood wanderer by Lys Aludra

RED MAGE

- Vagabond Prince by Falion D'erenian

- Ronkan Cultist by J'roric Citlalloh

- Desert Scout by Frahn Loxner'et

- The Goblin King by Leon Aquitaine

- Summoned Guardian by Leon Aquitaine

- Eastern Red Mage by Red Grande

- Royal Rose by Zanel Slayer 

- dual wielding swords by Kiraster Alroumi

- Steampunk Red Mage by Ry Tempester

- Reiterpallasch Hunter by J'roric Citlalloh

- Stroll in the snow by Riv'ir Gwyn

WHITE MAGE

- Winter Druid by Uskhal Dalamiq

- Herald of the Light by Kazek Amilia

- Desert White Mage by Iosen Juan

- Menphina’s Beloved by Puk'a Sweetfellow

- The Ill-fated Doctor by Charybdis K'reon

- The Doc by Denmo Mcstronghuge

- Minion Masquerade- Anima by Aetherflow Media

- cold front by Chiceneaux Selechant

- Secret Keeper by Feather Relanah

- Forest Mage by Sylviel Terrechant

SCHOLAR

- Studium Provost by Uskhal Dalamiq

- Field Medic by Seyo Senpai

- Stayin Classy Highlander Scholar by Aetherflow Media

- Writer of Fates by Olli Cannoli

- Secret of Nym by Nicky Tilmit

- Scholar of the Wilds by Sohk'yon Ayhan

- The First Cartographer by Edeon Vails

- Warg Sage by Ricola Tesla

- Dark Eastern Healer by Teru Nashira

- Sad Angel by Liam Gray

ASTROLOGIAN

- Jewel in the Sands by Vosric Oros

- Oracle of the East by Zyrus Highwind

- Golden Sun by Jarvis Brakkenwork

- Dalamiq Seer by Uskhal Dalamiq

- Misfortune Teller by Sahl Suh

- The Red Card by Yujin Seo

- Forgiven Soothsayer by Mongoose Mandolin

- Catharsis by Edeon Vails

- Proud Wave by Khurt Wagner

- Alpha Reticulii by R'yo Aderyd

BLUE MAGE

- King by Ray Fontelon

- Imposter Red Mage by Jarvis Brakkenwork

- Le Cirque Du Rosier by Callum Crossy

- Cobalt Enchanter by Tyo'li Wolndara

- Blubomb by Frahn Loxner'et 

RACE GLAMOUR SPILLOVER

HYUR MIDANDER

- Faraam by Remearus Maes

- Gate Keeper by Remearus Maes

- The Guardian by Kizake Hayashi

- Mistbeard by Remearus Maes

- Blood Hunter by Lys Aludra

- Jiangshi by Dezel Windriders

- Alliance Salvager by Remearus Maes

- Edengrace Conqueror by Lys Aludra

- Bozjan Rampage by Xennon Song

- Northern Banneret by Lys Aludra

FAVORITE MODELS:

- Fists of the Sun by Alois Lefleur

- Ronin of the Steppe by Remearus Maes

- Armored Ninja by Ludger Magniar

- Vagabond Prince by Falion D'erenian

- Bloodsinger by Lys Aludra

HYUR HIGHLANDER

- From Darkness Comes Light by Niran Ashbel

- Black Wolf by Night Mazino

- Murderous School Bus by Night Mazino

- Desperado Breaker by Julies Solomon

- WW2 Pilot by Orillion Aldoreel

- Demon Hunter by Duffy Gelatoni

- Maelstrom Duelist by Roscoe Rackham

- Black Dragon by Lophen Leif 

- Weathered Wanderer by Goro Yamaguchi

- Ravager by Night Mazino

FAVORITE MODELS:

- Jewel in the Sands by Vosric Oros

- Murderous School Bus by Night Mazino

- Desert White Mage by Iosen Juan

- Stayin Classy Highlander Scholar by Aetherflow Media

- Dravanian Viking by Sarafina Vadre

ELEZEN

- Lost Thief by Kaunoet Tyshatont

- Princely Protector by Liam Gray

- Cold Mornings, Warm Hearts by Leon Aquitaine

- I don’t know what a swash is but I’m buckling it by Raythe Ondore

- Peregrine by Yannick Ostheimer

- Obsidian and Blood by Leon Aquitaine

- Obsidian Gold by Arius Althea 

- Purple Mage by Kaunoet Tyshatont

- Lord Archer by Mori Sumire

- Angel of Temperance by Agana Belea

FAVORITE MODELS:

- cold front by Chiceneaux Selechant

- Angel of Temperance by Agana Belea

- Lost Thief by Kaunoet Tyshatont

- Oracle of the East by Zyrus Highwind

- Ishgardian Nightwatch by Leon Aquitaine

LALAFELL

- Berserker by Munchkin Doofus

- Crimson Dragoon by Janaan Fabre

- Tiny Fist by Barca Ul'nanaca

- Chimera Dragoon by Janaan Fabre

- Royal n’ Loyal by Janaan Fabre

- Manor Estoqueur by Lia Tales

- Stargazer by Ikki Kohi

- Hazardous Caster by Astrancea Quasar'ae

- White Wolf Healer by Pickle Nibbler

- Bard of the Forest by Ryker Nightingale

FAVORITE MODELS:

- Stargazer by Ikki Kohi

- White Wolf Healer by Pickle Nibbler

- Well-Stocked Sky Pirate by Sari Mogari

- Tiny Fist by Barca Ul'nanaca

- Plains Tribe Rite of Passage by Filibert Lilibert

MIQO’TE

- Fran - Be Quiet by Goelia Sarantia

- The Assassin by Akira Tia

- Warrior of the Sands by U'zolwe Tia

- The Silencer by Grayson Foxworthy

-  nemesis by M'rhene Tia

- Caecius by Callum Crossy

- The Imperial by Rein Drops

- Storm Duelist by K'aihx Nianh

- Cyber Mage by L'unick Tia

- T-53M: Omega by Lib'ra Jarilo

FAVORITE MODELS:

- Fran - Be Quiet by Goelia Sarantia

- Ala Mhigan Monk by D'jango Dojango

- Cobalt Enchanter by Tyo'li Wolndara

- Edensguard by Kyo Ise

- Maelstrom Song by J'roric Citlalloh

ROEGADYN

- Sin Eater Forgiven Wrath by Arkhon Dullgaroth

- Platebreaker by Biggus Dickkus

- Berzerker Warrior by Cata Clysm

- Dravanian Shadow Knight by Galandor Atreides

- Santa Claus by Aetherflow Media

- Knight of the East by Galandor Atreides

- Roegadyn Samurai by Raiden Hagane

- The Real Barbarian by Milla Lariswind

- The Discipulus by Haereidin Doeszwynsyn

- Cactpot Crackpot by Kaemin Moore

FAVORITE MODELS:

- Knight of the East by Galandor Atreides

- Flying Guillotine by Punch Mage

- The Fool by Bruno Brecher

- Battle Claus by Bard Bro

- The Real Barbarian by Milla Lariswind

AU RA

- Fatewalker by Kaien Shimazu

- Combat Casual by Arik Nergui

- Suzaku’s Champion by Uskhal Dalamiq 

- Herald of the Zodiac - Taurus by Leisha Aysheen

- The Anti-Paladin by Bastion Blackwater

- Zero by Ace Valstra'liah

- Elegant Duelist by Yoni Neel

- Herald of the Zodiac - Pisces by Leisha Aysheen

- Valkyrie by Rogan Hunter

- Devout of the Sun by Uskhal Dalamiq

FAVORITE MODELS:

- Herald of the Zodiac - Pisces by Leisha Aysheen

- Combat Casual by Arik Nergui

- Samurai of Alexander by Ky Tanimura

- Winter Druid by Uskhal Dalamiq

- Herald of the Zodiac - Geminis by Leisha Aysheen

HROTHGAR

- Snowfall by Ese Pajic

- Heavy by Radio Jackun 

- Defender of the Forest by Hana Kagura

- Risen Dynasty by Zeth Xerval

- Forgiven Pride by Yoshi Pendragon

- Queen’s Guard by Sahl Suh

- Lord of Umbral Pyre by Stahlhart Vahn'reiz

- Jade Maw by Shin Okusawa

- Einherjar by Baruk Twinfang

- The Exorcist by Haereidin Doeszwynsyn

FAVORITE MODELS:

- Heavy by Radio Jackun

- Tribal Hrothgar Dragoon by Noxelus Virmire

- Gunblade of the Lost by Ludin Hreitharr

- Desert Scar by Magnus Wolfwood

- Risen Dynasty by Zeth Xerval

[actualaster]

Plot spoilers and conjecture, covering multiple bits of the opening segment

Took a break for food so still in the very beginning lol

But that explains why Far Zenith was so interested in GAIA, of course they would want it for the ability to teraform a distant planet if needed.

...Of course, they lacked the facilities to use such an AI's subfunctions, but they likely intended to be able to build them on a new planet.

Starting to gather a few guesses where this will go based on the "too much high sci-fi" complaints I've head about (which I think is hilarious because it very much IS a sci-fi series and those elements were integral to the lore of the first game and I would be shocked if they didn't come to the fore in the sequel)

Interesting.

Also love how bluntly Aloy just explains her being a clone of a woman dead 1000 years. And admits to a machine creating her. But you can also see how painful it is for her, too. She just isn't gonna dance around it and drag it out.

But she's really just. Bluntly shattering Varl's religious worldview with the truth. (Still interesting that the Nora have a religion and legends that... Aren't actually entirely off-base, that hold a core of truth distorted by a thousand years of time)

But also... Is the Nora idea truly wrong? GAIA may be an AI, but what is a god or goddess truly? Can an AI, a true fully aware AI, not be such from the limited perspective of mankind?

Also loved the Slitherfang, that is SUCH a cool design!

Also lmao of course Far Zenith recruited more than they could accommodate and are down with "eliminating" some "excess" people they promised accommodations to. The ultra wealthy elite are just Like That

Also LMAOOOO okay Tate may be a vile piece of work but he's also hilarious in this, I LOVE that despite FZ assuming they got clear away with copying GAIA, Elisabet and Tate anticipated the plot. I mean sucks for Aloy but absolutely appreciate how they foiled it lol

But man, Aloy really has the weight of the world on her, huh?

...BAHAHAHA!!! THEY BUILT A FUCKING STATUE OF ALOY AT THE SPIRE!!! Oh, oh she must HATE that!

...Oh. OH, FUCK YOU SYLENS. FUCK YOU EVERY WHICH WAY, FUCK YOU ALMOST AS MUCH AS FUCK TED FARO

FUCK SYLENS

He's such a smug dick. Also I really think he underestimates Aloy's capacity to be reasoned with. Dick.

I do love that Avad just. Wants to be free to explore. He's a king, but reluctantly--and truly wants to try making amends for the sins of his father. Perhaps that's why he's a good fit, however much he'd like to step aside. His crush on Aloy is showing so much lol.

Itamen is a cute kid, it's good to see him doing do much better~

Vanasha hasn't changed, love her. "If I can't get in trouble at least I can hear about yours" lol nice. Glad to see Uthid doing better.

Mm, so used to being on her own, Aloy just can't let Varl keep her company. I bet we see him again later even though she ditched him lol

Anyway gonna explore for a bit and sleep lol

[langwrites]

Lang Plays Fire Emblem: Three Houses

I’m playing them in this order: Blue Lions, Black Eagles, Church of Seiros, and then Golden Deer. (I organized them by how likely it is to have a true final boss who is actually as relevant to the lore as the opening cutscene. And also because I thoroughly spoiled myself about that.)

So, after sinking what the game tells me was eighty hours into a single playthrough, here’s my thoughts on the first thing I tackled.

Spoilers below the cut.

Very Early Game (Blue Lions):

It’s the Fire Emblem Dad! (I played Path of Radiance. I’ve seen this dude before.)

Hi Claude. Sorry, I’m gonna steal every single one of your peers I can catch. Same to you, Edelgard.

Dimitri is so awkward it’s almost palpable.

Aww, Ashe and Annette are adorable. Mercedes has that dead anime mom hairstyle that sets my teeth on edge, but she’s super nice. It’ll take me longer to warm up to the boys, I think.

Felix is the token “I MUST BECOME STRONGER” myrmidon character. Gotta have at least one per game, apparently.

Sylvain = Sain. Token womanizer cavalier. His support list is pretty odd, though.

Dedue = the guy who done punch things. And he *has* to punch things, because he’s slow as hell and his speed growth isn’t great.

What the fuck is that strength growth, Dimitri. What the fuck is that Charm growth.

I was so close to making him my team’s designated Dancer unit, you guys.

Beleth is gonna be their teacher and somehow I don’t imagine this going super well.

Pre-Timeskip School Life:

Once again, I regret not being able to support with characters who’ve firmly attached themselves to the other two houses. (Which is only like three people in my “gotta catch ‘em all” playthrough, but whatever.)

But I can support all the recruitables, which is...something that took me a long while to do.

The first person I stole for the Blue Lions was Caspar. The first person who straight-up joined was Flayn. Yay, auxiliary punchers and auxiliary-auxiliary healers!

Ashe, your adoptive father really didn’t need to die. You were right. It was all bad all the way down.

Flayn gets kidnapped and I fuck around for a month raising everyone else’s supports and realizing Seteth’s too distraught to train my Lance level. Dangit.

I missed the opportunity to support with Leonie entirely because her personality put me off for the first few in-game months, and it turns out you can only start her support chain while Jeralt is alive.

Dammit. Now I’ve gotta train with lances.

What’s-his-fuck over at the village sure did do a thing, didn’t he. And if he hadn’t dropped his disguise just then he could have gotten away with it.

Their scheme would’ve failed faster if anybody around this fucking monastery could apply logic to shapeshifter shenanigans.

Seriously, no one should have trusted Monica.

You vanish over the course of a year, and come back with your personality totally inverted.

Tomas/Solon had just demonstrated what it looks like when these dickbags drop cover, and then everyone subsequently failed to make the correct deduction. If they hadn’t, Jeralt would’ve lived.

Dad-stabbing: A theme of Fire Emblem games. Seriously. Check out the huge list of dead dads (which goes all the way back to the first game in the series.)

Also dead moms, but for some reason moms are less prominent in the series as a whole.

For the purposes of this analysis, we are also including every single boss who had kids. Which isn’t most of them, but god damn there are still a lot of dead dads.

Dorotheaaaaaa be my frieeeeeeend

Yoinked Linhardt after finally showering him in enough gifts to get his sleepy ass to sign transfer papers.

Swiped Marianne, Bernadetta, Petra, Ignatz, Alois (kinda), Shamir (sorta), Manuela (iffy), Hanneman (yoink), Catherine (see previous), Hilda (how), Lorenz (woop woop), and Leonie (sigh).

The Death Knight remains, for the moment, unpillaged for his Dark Seal drops. This time it was an accident: I killed everyone else in the room except for him and a priest/mage, but then that last dude squared up with Felix and died.

All the points I poured into their associated skills and their supports, however, left one big gap:

DAMMIT FERDINAND, I’M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE. WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT HEAVY ARMOR. RAPHAEL JOINED UP DESPITE THAT.

(I got a B-rank support with him and he popped into my office to say he was transferring, nbd. Ferdinand’s B-rank is locked until after the timeskip.)

tl;dr: The only recruitable character I missed was Ferdinand.

Seteth and Gilbert don’t do shit until post-timeskip and Rhea isn’t playable, so w/e.

As soon as I say that, Seteth and Flayn have a paralogue. It’s a beach level. I hate beach levels and desert levels. Seteth gets to be MVP because he’s the only jerk who can fly.

They have a little speech after the paralogue level that reveals that they’re actually father and daughter, not siblings. And the whole story of this little subplot basically confirms that they’re dragons.

Neither of them transform over the course of the game, and that’s okay.

Ruh-roh, Raggy. Let’s see who’s really under the Flame Emperor’s mask--

“AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO, IF NOT FOR--oh wait teleportation exists. BYE!”

Dimitri proceeds to thoroughly lose any chill he ever pretended to have, and I’m 99% sure the villain in question isn’t actually old enough to have caused the Tragedy of Duscur. Unless the biographies in the notes were lying.

Now, the backup dancers over there sure as shit are, but logical reasoning has its time and place.

Whatever. Time for stabbing.

WE ALREADY KNOW THESE PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF MAKING THEMSELVES LOOK LIKE ANYONE, MASKS TOTALLY UNNECESSARY. THE VICTIM ONLY HAS TO DISAPPEAR FOR A WHILE.

WHY AREN’T WE CHECKING THAT AS A BASIC PRECAUTION.

THERE HAVE BEEN THREE OF THESE CREEPS ALREADY.

Their name is too long and I should call them Morlocks.

But seriously, check for infiltrators.

What passes for strategy around here: Take Paladin Dimitri, plunk his overleveled ass down on a corner where all the enemies’ targeting reticles converge, and wait five minutes for all the counterkill animations to play out.

If I wanna try the same with Sylvain, he needs to be backed up by at least Annette and probably Felix. Maybe even Mercedes if she’s not already busy slinging Physics around.

Dimitri’s fine with just sitting around with a forged Steel Lance and poking holes in everything.

Beleth can do the same, but is much more reliant on dodging and not just facetanking axes.

The little “no damage!” sound effect is still very satisfying. Yes, game, my Defense/Resistance has escaped the bounds of your damage curve.

Dorothea became my Dancer unit, because despite Dimitri having twenty-eight Charm to her nineteen, he begged me not to and also is better sitting on a corner and killing everything.

Huh, the monastery is sure being invad--you know, Edelgard, if it wasn’t already really obvious that your faction is basically the “villain route” in Samurai Warriors parlance, using giant mop-headed demonic beasts as shock troops would probably give it away to observers. If they weren’t already running away in abject terror.

The principle from How to Train Your Dragon still applies: A downed dragon is a dead dragon. If Rhea didn’t want to basically get mobbed, she should’ve stayed in the air and acted as flying artillery for the Knights of Seiros with her mouth laser. She could’ve sat on top of a wall and fired with relative impunity.

Sure, some demonic beasts can fly, but there weren’t any in that cutscene and the flying ones have, mechanically, one less health meter than the landbound ones.

Also, they’re pushovers.

And there’s the washed-out creep brigade! They look like the Grimleal, but with more feathers and less of a tan.

...And there goes Beleth, off to have a five-year nap.

Welp.

Post Timeskip:

Oh good, it’s been five years. Beleth, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably at least slightly dragon at this point. Check your ears if you have a chance.

Tiki canonically napped for like 99% of her three thousand years in Awakening, ironically enough, so it’s not like dragon-people are exactly early risers.

Poor rando gets asked “what year is it” like that question is ever used outside of fiction. Beleth doesn’t read time travel books, I take it.

“oh you probably shouldn’t go to the monastery, it’s like super haunted and shit”

“sorry what was that i couldn’t hear you over the sound of me climbing up to the monastery”

Eyyyy, it’s a lance-wielding pirate.

...Hi, Dimitri. Where’d your macaroni hair go.

You know, it’s not surprising that Dimitri would think Beleth was a hallucination. He spent a lot of time yelling at his inner demons even pre-timeskip, after taking a couple of severe psychological shocks.

But he absolutely should have walked into her and been surprised when he knocked them both on their asses.

He’s been spending the last five years stabbing people, hasn’t he.

Yep.

He looks like he fell out of Game of Thrones.

Blue Lions! Rah rah something team chant. Rah rah Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen~

None of you people trained any of your skills. In five years. Dimitri you were a paladin. Did you eat your horse.

You are all getting sent to boot camp.

Hi, Gilbert. Why are you playable now all of a sudden. Why is your speed a fucking two.

THIS IS WHY MIKLAN HANDED YOU YOUR ASS.

Once again, the “plunk Dimitri’s overleveled ass down on a corner and watch people die” plan is still a valid strategy. I still don’t know where he gets all this strength (and charm). Like, goddamn.

Annette got cornered for like five turns because I was too cowardly to put her in range of a Brawler.

Then she killed him with a critical Fire.

So, I guess Felix’s remarks about Dimitri’s issues make some sense now, but he should still stop making them. I know he’s a tsundere par excellence, but still.

STop TalKing AboUT KilLing PeoPle

Warning: Sympathetic Boss Approaching.

Look, most “sympathetic” bosses in Fire Emblem kinda fall flat. The better ones are placed in the way of the player characters while they’re in the middle of a low point in the emotional arc and get utterly wrecked in a flurry of misdirected fury. Sometimes the characters even feel bad about it afterward. The worst ones are the ones who are just utterly devoted to someone who’s earned everyone’s ire by being a utter fucking asshole.

Good: Mustafa from Awakening and Shiharam from Path of Radiance. Good people forced into bad situations. Or just cornered. Henry talked up the former long after he got a Chrom to the face, and the latter was probably the best-written of the “aw, I wish I didn’t have to kill him” bosses I’ve run across.

Bad: Levail from Radiant Dawn. There is no getting around the fact that General Zelgius was a bad dude. Levail holding him up as a paragon of knightliness and swearing to serve him out of sheer admiration did not make him even marginally better.

We sure did kill Caspar’s uncle, didn’t we. I’m sure that won’t come back to bite us square in the ass. Not after he had that “this guy is a person who cares about stuff” cutscene to remind us of his pixel humanity.

I’m sure it’s fine.

Bwoop, bwoop, everyone say hello to Ferdinand and Lorenz! And say goodbye to Ferdinand, because he didn’t allow himself to be recruited pre-timeskip, isn’t recruitable post-timeskip, and then I had Felix kill him with Thoron.

Lorenz can rejoin us, though. He doesn’t count as an enemy commander once he’s been smacked down to 0 hp.

HI, DEDUE. WHY ARE YOU ONLY LEVEL TWENTY. GET IN THE BACKLINES AND DON’T TALK TO ME UNTIL YOU CAN ACTUALLY DAMAGE ANYTHING.

(Seriously, tho, I was waiting for Dedue to come back for two reasons. One: I did that paralogue of his way back in Part One and he did not get to die after all that. Two: Part of Dimitri’s epic slide into “spear-wielding mountain man who runs around killing people with his bare hands” had to do with Dedue “dying” during the timeskip. That jackass cracked a smile for the first time in ingame years thanks to the world’s punchiest bodyguard coming back alive.)

(Fortress Knight is still the worst class.)

I totally didn’t pay any attention to what, if anything, actually separated Master classes from Advanced classes other than my inability to get my hands on Master Seals. So Ashe is a Bow Knight now, while Felix made it to Mortal Savant (wtf is that name and why is the class model basically a samurai) and I spent a very long time level-grinding Sylvain’s Reason skill to make him a Dark Knight. I aimed for Gremory with all my spellcaster girls, but I admit to not really paying attention to specifics.

(I ended up with five Gremories: Annette, Flayn, Mercedes, Lysithea, and Dorothea. Bernadetta became a Bow Knight and Marianne promoted eventually to a Holy Knight. Dorothea also ended up taking Mortal Savant, which she didn’t ever use.)

(Seteth became a Wyvern Lord and Dedue eventually made it to Warrior.)

(Byleth qualified for Mortal Savant and used it precisely no times.)

(It became pretty clear that I just threw Master Seals at people whenever the possibility of promoting them came up.)

(Certification is a weird system.)

I stopped paying a ton of attention to supports around the time I realized that Ferdinand wasn’t going to be recruited no matter what I did in the final month before Shit Went Down.

Then I started paying attention again like two chapters from endgame, because I remembered some A-ranked supports meant that the characters could get paired endings.

I also stopped ignoring Cyril and started using him as an adjutant, though his stats never quite caught up to Seteth (also known as the only instructor unit I ever consistently used).

Cornelia is absolutely a Morlock plant. That is a face she just made, even in flashback.

I wish we could've seen Dimitri’s now-dead uncle, if only because I’m curious. Also, what did Edelgard’s mom/Dimitri’s stepmom look like?

Why is there always a fire level. I saw it earlier thanks to doing Ingrid and Dorothea’s paralogue, but it’s a Fire Emblem stock level type and I hate it.

Okay, yeah, this area totally got nuked. Magitech nukes, but still. It’s still on fire centuries later? Why??

Felix’s dad is a Holy Knight. Why do I have to keep his ass alive on a field when half the enemies are barely Advanced classes, never mind Master classes.

Oh right, because I want the exp for myself.

Rodrigue is possibly the single person here who can make Dimitri’s murder-bender change direction even slightly. He also gets along with his actual son so much worse than that. He’s like Annette’s dad, but with actual verbal confrontations.

There’s Caspar’s not-exactly-forgotten aunt, here to “secretly” avenge her dead brother. Dude, could you say something about that?

Three levels later: I thought we were done with the dad-stabbing. 

Felix has officially lost Too Many People in pursuit of keeping Dimitri alive. As has everyone else, frankly.

In other routes, Dimitri absolutely runs his campaign off a cliff.

Here, he turns his life around. More or less. Gotta make the choice to get better.

Time to take back the Kingdom’s capital, like we’ve not been doing for four chapters now. Finally.

Cornelia is absolutely a Morlock plant. This is like the fourth character who supposedly did a complete characterization 180 after a period of being actually useful to other people. Goodbye, civil engineer we never knew.

I think the only infiltrator who did things properly was Solon, but he still dropped his disguise for no good reason early in the game. That operatic level of drama is not a trait that helps him survive a month later. Just goes to show that the Morlocks don’t have more than one type of good judgment at a time, I guess.

I know I’m supposed to avoid the giant doom robots, but...

No, it turns out I can just have Dimitri and Beleth stand in the middle of the killzone and destroy them for fun and profit.

Ding dong the witch is dead.

Welp, time to go save the Alliance, which is getting schooled by the Empire.

HI CLAUDE.

I MISSED YOU AND YOUR FAITH IN HUMANITY. And specifically in Dimitri, for some reason? I think he kinda stabbed your soldiers a lot the last time you two met, but feel free to keep being the Best Character.

Your bodyguards are top-notch, man. One of them got hit with anything over the course of the entire battle.

Your general Judith, however, necessitates Flayn using ALL of her Rescue spells just to keep her alive.

I still had to send Ashe to keep a Falcon Knight off you, but no big.

And also had to send Hilda and Petra to kill the Asshole Reinforcements to nick their stuff.

Dimitri sat there and dodge-tanked all of Arundel’s attempts to kill him until the team killed everybody else. Then Dimitri poked him and he died. Dimitri OHKOs everything except monsters now, and that’s only because they have multiple health meters.

And then Claude fucks off to become king somewhere else. Okay then. It was a nice speech, though.

Killing the Death Knight for fun and profit and now Mercedes is crying. Shit.

Doesn’t this place get vaporized in every other route?

Did killing so many Morlocks by accident lock us out of seeing an intercontinental ballistic missile?

(And it is by accident, because this route is like the only one where the Morlocks are incidentals instead of the main problem, partly due to Dimitri’s tunnel vision and partly just because they don’t drop their disguises upon death.)

Well, I guess it’s time to confront Edelgard.

It’s completely valid of her to look at the guy who was threatening to rip her head off with his bare hands and hang it from the gates of the Empire’s capital a little while ago, and then go “Yeah, diplomacy’s shot.” That Dimitri stopped being quite so all-consumingly homicidal a bit ago is not actually reason to try throwing herself on anyone’s mercy. I feel kinda bad for her, since she’s been pushed into this corner and her ace-in-the-hole allies are basically decapitated, and I stole all her potential friends back during the school phase of the game.

Also, sunk cost fallacy.

Still walloped the entire roster of the second-to-last level, down to killing Hubert with Lysithea. Hilda and Cyril killed all the bird demons.

On the final level, which starts immediately after the previous one, three characters got totally destroyed by the sheer number of mages floating around: Dimitri (whose Avoid finally failed him four times in a row), Hilda (same), and Dedue (thirded). Seteth miraculously survived taking 68 points of damage from a single attack, and then later went on to take Edelgard’s last health bar off with a crit.

Weirdly, Beleth’s Avoid was just fine. Finally let her use the Sublime Sword of the Creator and she killed most of the Gremories that took out Dimitri and Hilda.

And everybody we could save per plot constraints got to live! (Except Ferdinand.)

I’m willing to save him on subsequent routes because killing him made Dorothea sad.

Next time: Lang plays the route that screws over most of these people in service of killing the God-Pope.

[insidetheglitch]

E3 2017 Recap Part 3: Sony & Nintendo

The last part of my E3 2017 recap, when it comes to the sheer press conferences. Technically Nintendo didn’t even have a press conference, but just a showcase live stream. Doesn’t matter to me though. Let’s jump right in!

Very early in the morning of the 13th (at least for me in Europe), Sony started their highly anticipated press conference and I wasn’t let down in the slightest:

Uncharted: The Lost Legacy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8qzBkHjk_0

This time around, Sony didn’t show gameplay, but a mashup of different cutscenes from the Uncharted spin-off. The adventurers Chloe Frazer and Nadine Ross, both of which should be familiar to Uncharted players, are trying to step into Nathan Drake’s and Sully’s footsteps. And judging from the trailer, it might actually work out!

Horizon Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds (DLC):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5xsS1WZA54

Horizon’s newly announced DLC show’s Aloy back in action, this time in a snowy winter environment. A welcome expansion of the main game, which noone will complain about.

Days Gone:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uED22JERB8

The new gameplay trailer shows off some cool tactical use of the environment, allowing the player to kill off a whole human enemy territory by blasting away a safety fence and letting the zombies take care of them. Sweet!

Monster Hunter: World:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SE_FnuD9zJc

As a complete surprise to everyone, Capcom announced a completely new Monster Hunter game during Sony’s press conference. And it looks amazing! I’m not that much of a Monster Hunter fan myself, but that caught even my interest. Using stealth gear, setting up traps before the fight and fully using the environment for offensive and defensive actions is a huge step into the right direction in my opinion. It looks like it’s truly gonna be a monster hunting game for once, instead of just purely killing off monsters to collect resources.

Shadow of the Colossus: Remastered:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdZQ98mWeto

Oh my god! Just look at that! I don’t even know what to say about that one. It’s just downright amazing. Period.

Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM6LgkpO2-0

I’m surprised to see so many characters from Marvel’s cinematic universe in there, but at the same time, the looks they’ve choosen resemble their respective comic book origin. Sony later on also showed some gameplay. It doesn’t look like it’s gonna change the formula, but I’m interested where they are gonna go with the story mode.

Call of Duty: WWII:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kA0UmXsJoM

They called it a “multiplayer reveal trailer”, but it looks more like a potential coop story mode to me. Either ways, I’m not particularly interested in Call of Duty, so I’m just gonna let that one slip without a comment.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim VR:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uelzOUIksk

Probably the 10th or so Skyrim release, but this one, I’m actually interested in. I haven’t played the game long enough to actually get sick of it and as a owner of a PS VR, I can’t wait to fully dive into it again! I’m especially excited about the implementation of move controls. If they do work as they are supposed to, this could be one of the best VR experiences so far.

Star Child:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRKiFsXvdyw

Another VR title. This one seems to be a 2D-ish platformer sci-fi game? I’m not sure what to expect, but I’m always happy to see some new VR games on the horizon.

The Inpatient:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5r-sl4yQQE

Supermassive Games announced yet another VR game connected to Until Dawn, this time about the Blackwood Sanatorium and playing over 60 years prior to the happenings of the original game. I’m hooked!

Monster of the Deep: Final Fantasy XV:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bP_OZsUQwEs

While most of the people are completely let down by Square Enix deciding to make a VR fishing game in the Final Fantasy XV universe, I’m actually kinda looking forward to it. It looks fun to me, so I don’t see a point why they shouldn’t do it.

Bravo Team:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nDdbO7X4Jk

Another thing from Supermassive Games, this one is a multiplayer VR shooter game. That’s pretty much all the trailer gave away, so we gotta be patient for more informations.

Moss:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FguiwVNCs0

The last VR game that Sony showed was this colorful looking mouse adventure. At first glance it looked like a platformer to me, but I later realized that it’s the shiny orb that the player controls to even the way for the little mouse warrior to progress. I like it!

God of War:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOE2BVRCUkM

Yeah, now this is just great. You can basically feel the impact, that each of Kratos’ strikes delivers and it must truly feel fantastic to play this game! Sadly, the game will not release this year anymore.

Detroit: Become Human:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfCbw8wfdXk

My most anticipated game since it’s initial announcement back in 2015. I love the story telling in Quantic Dreams’ games and I can’t wait too watch Detroit’s story unfold by my decisions. I really hope the game will stick to it’s promises of decisions having an impact on the game world and story progression.

Destiny 2:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGq6534NB4U

With the trailer teasing an interesting story mode, Destiny 2 might actually stand out from it’s predecessor and offer a larger and more complete experience.

Spider-Man:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4zm30yeHHE

Giving away a Batman Arkham-ish feeling, this 9 minute gameplay trailer for Marvel’s PS4 exclusive Spider-Man game blew my mind. I’m relatively certain that this explicit part of the game was designed as a showpiece to show off Spider-Man’s amazing potential, but if Insomniac really manage to keep this level of action throughout the whole entire game, them I’m sold without a single doubt.

And with this last bomb, the Sony press conference came to an end. For a lot of people, Sony is the clear “winner” of the E3 2017, but of course, Nintendo’s showcase still had some awesome surprises for us in it’s sleeve:

Xenoblade Chronicles 2:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xjpao-nD5YU

I’m a little let down by the fact that a lot of the textures in this otherwise cool trailer looked very blurry, but I’m certain that Monolith is gonna deliver a very solid game here.

Kirby:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cc3PAAije0Y

A yet-to-be-named Kirby title was announced by Nintendo, looking very similar to Kirby’s Adventure Wii. By taking a closer look, one could see that in this game, Kirby can create up to three companions, even in single player mode and can combine their abilities with his own. This is a very interesting concept and hasn’t been seen since Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards, which was an excellent game.

Pokémon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SJdDe8fElc

Not a trailer but just an announcement of Tsunekazu Ishihara , the president of The Pokémon Company, that Game Freak began to develop a core RPG Pokémon game for the Nintendo Switch. Awesome!

Metroid Prime 4:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFbDmTjS_MI

Again, not really a trailer, but just a morphing image, stating that the highly anticipated Metroid Prime 4 is now in development for Nintendo Switch. The hype is real!

Yoshi:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx_C9jJ0AlA

An also yet-to-be-named Yoshi game by Good-Feel, the developers of Yoshi’s Wooly World, is coming 2018 to the Nintendo Switch. It features a cardboard art style and the ability to switch to the backside of the level. From the trailer alone you can also see, how much love Good-Feel once again put into their game. 

Fire Emblem: Warriors:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8Ia_PCKPpY

This time around, Koei-Tecmo showed off a pure story trailer for the Dynasty Warriors-like Fire Emblem game. Similar to Hyrule Warriors, the game features an original story and some original characters, fighting alongside famous Fire Emblem characters like Marth and Corrin.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild - Expansion Pass (DLC):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1GakpHZFpg

Eiji Aonuma showed further details for the first expansion of the Breath of the Wild universe as well as a teaser for the second expansion, featuring the four champions of the core game. He also announced a new line of Amiibo figures of aforementioned champions. Neat.

Rocket League - Switch Version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5YyUA525tI

The amazing car soccer game Rocket League comes to the Nintendo Switch this holiday, including exclusive Super Mario cars and customizations, as well as cross-platform online play. 

Super Mario Odyssey:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGQHQc_3ycE

The final trailer of the E3 2017 press conferences was also one of the best ones. Not only giving a sooner release date as expected (27th of October, 2017), but also blowing everyone away with the abilty to control enemies and objects and just generally showing more of this fantastic-looking game. Bravo Nintendo, you really pulled it off again!

And with that, E3 2017′s press conferences came to an end. Of course, this doesn’t mean we’re done with the announcements and trailers for this year, so keep tuned as I will continue with some more games and surprises that found their way to the public some other way.

End of Part 3.

Next Up: More interesting games from E3!