#I went bonkers with the colors I just love when they POP

[faydeus]

heavily inspired by the fic 'Blue Blood' which is so fuckin good

[rex101111]

I finally watched sonic the hedgehog 2, loved it. It’s better than the first one and I think there’s one very specific reason for this that to get into it ill have to talk spoilers so I’ll say my thesis statement now and ramble under a read more like this is a proper analysis and not a sonic fan yakking your ears off for no good reason:

The people working on this movie clearly love the source material. And for movies adapting a licensed property, video games especially, that is depressingly rare.

We all remember that “yellow spandex” joke from the first x-men movie, right? I think it’s safe to say that that particular line hasn’t really aged well because, well, yeah, we kinda did expect him to wear yellow fucking spandex, because this is a movie based on a damn comic book.

When the Raimi Spider-man movies just showed him wearing the damn suit, red fucking spandex and all, people cheered. When it showed villains in garish colorful costumes, we loved it. Because it drew from what people liked about the original story, dorky stuff included. The last truly great Marvel movie, as far as I’m concerned, is the first Captain America movie. Because it actually fully engaged with how silly the original comic from the 40′s was.

Hollywood has this slightly infuriating habit of kinda looking down their noses when adapting a pop culture thing into a movie. They surgically remove everything that’s too colorful or “kiddy” and try and make something that looks like a “respectable” production, even if at the end of the day they’re marketing towards kids and teenagers because that’s the audience the original was made for. Even if you’re also aiming for the grown up audience that read/watched/played the original when they were kids, those people are excitedly filing into the theater expecting some yellow fucking spandex and taking out that yellow fucking spandex isn’t going to thrill the people that never read the comics because why would they give a damn, and it’s at best going to annoy the people who read the comic and at worst is going to get you some very strongly worded emails.

 The first Captain America movie presented the original costume, weird shield and wings on the head and all, as a corny propaganda spinner because that’s what it was, in the real world I mean. It was goofy and dorky and bright fucking blue spandex and they actually engaged with that instead of putting Steve in that more “proper” costume later that actually looks like it was designed by someone who wanted the guy who was gonna wear it to be able to fight in it straight away like the goofy stuff was never there. And that was great! You put some effort into sitting down and working the source material in your hands into a different story and you got something honest. And fun.

And, most of all, unironic.

The first Sonic movie was...okay. It was fun, and basic, and I liked it. But throughout it all I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a thoroughly Hollywood production. They gave Sonic a pretty generic “chosen one with dangerous power loses his home to his impetuousness and learns to control that power to save new friends” plot line and what came out of it was a pretty alright but at the end of the day basic movie that did the job just fine. It was no Detective Pikachu, which came out the same year, which took the source material and went to some bonkers places with it, it was content with making a fun and breezy Sonic movie for kids to enjoy and that adults could sit through and go “heh, okay” through and that was that.

It didn’t really engage with source material though, there was barely any reference to any of the games, it was pretty much a completely separate continuity. I couldn’t really shake the feeling that, fun as this movie was, nothing in it was distinctly Sonic beyond a place being called Green Hills. And a few snippets of music from the Genesis games.

I think what kept that from being a deal breaker is that the director clearly likes Sonic. There’s a bunch of really tiny references dotted throughout the movie, like he was trying to sneak it in where the producer couldn’t see it and tell him to “take that kiddie shit out”, so to speak. And you can feel that love, you can feel that this isn’t like the Smurf movies, where nobody on the cast or crew gave two shits about any of this and just wanted a paycheck. People gave a damn when they made this movie, despite it all.

Sonic 2 though...   

Eggman is decked out in his proper video game black and red and white color scheme and stays in it for pretty much the entire runtime (moustache included!!), the plot is very clearly a riff on the same basic story from Sonic 3 & Knuckles but merges it with the world it’s already made into something all its own, and on top of that there’s a ton of references to previous games and shows and the comics that are so blatant and in your face they straight up made me laugh.

There’s a coffee shop named Mean Bean (though that might have been in the first movie also but it serves as eggman’s base of operations this time), Eggman has a bunch of new robot models that straight up just look like some of the OG badnicks, he rides around in his Egg-o-matic hover car for most of the movie and ends up building the Death Egg Robot at the climax (still in the red and yellow color scheme mind you!,  the climax itself is a bit of a riff on Sonic Heroes, Sonic gets trapped under water and just sucks in an air bubble like in sonic 1 (minus the jingle, obviously), sonic has to snowboard to outrun an avalanche at one point, there’s a helicopter with SA-2 written on it for God’s sake, and on that note GUN gets founded (and it’s name gets a quick and funny gee u en...gun? really? joke), and a bunch more I probably missed.

Point is, the love you can feel in the original movie is finally allowed to breath in this one, most of the movie focuses on Sonic and Tails directly, it does a pretty interesting varation on the Knuckles and Eggman plot (for there is only one of those and you know what I’m talking about) owing to them having a very unique and entertaining version of Knuckles. He’s always been a bit naïve and blunt, but making him the straightforward honor obsessed warrior type fits him well and Idris Elba proved how committed he was to doing this part justice by stealing every scene he was in, Which is a hard thing to do since he shares most of his scenes with Jim Carrey Eggman who is somehow even nuttier then the original movie. 

 Jeff Fowler had room to make his own continuity with this film series, since Sonic has been doing that with every new media venture and video game since the Archie comics in the late 90′s, and he really did prove how much he loves the Sonic series by not making a new Hollywood story, but his very own Sonic story.

And I can’t wait to see what he does with Shadow “i have a gun” The Hedgehog in the next one.

[geshertzarmeod]

Favorite Books of 2020

I wanted to put together a list! I read 74 new books this year, and I keep track of that on Goodreads - feel free to add or follow me if you want to see everything! I’m going to focus on the highlights, and the books that stuck with me personally in one way or another, in approximate order. Also, all but two of them (#5 and #7 on the honorable mention list) are queer/trans in some way. Links are to Goodreads, but if you’re looking to get the books, I suggest your library, the Libby app using your library, your local bookstore, or Bookshop.

The Faggots & Their Friends Between Revolutions by Larry Mitchell, illus. by Ned Asta (originally published 1977). I had a hard beginning of the year and was in a work environment where my queerness was just not welcomed or wanted. I read this in the middle of all of that, and it helped me so much. I took this book with me everywhere. I read it on planes. I read it on the bus, and on trains, and at shul. I showed it to friends... sometimes at shul, or professional development conferences. It healed my soul. Now I can’t find it and might get a new copy. When I reviewed it, in February, I wrote: “I think we all need this book right now, but I really needed this book right now. Wow. This book is magic, and brings back a sense of magic and beauty to my relationship with the world.” Also I bought my copy last July, in a gay bookstore on Castro St. in SF, and that in itself is just beautiful to me. (Here’s a post I made with some excerpts)

Once & Future duology, especially the sequel, Sword in the Stars, by A.R. Capetta and Cory McCarthy. Cis pansexual female King Arthur Ari Helix (she's the 42nd reincarnation and the first female one) in futuristic space with Arab ancestry (but like, from a planet where people from that area of earth migrated to because, futuristic space) works to end Future Evil Amazon.com Space Empire with her found family with a token straight cis man and token white person. Merlin is backwards-aging so he's a gay teenager with a crush and thousands of years of baggage. The book’s entire basis is found family, and it's got King Arthur in space. And the sequel hijacks the original myth and says “fuck you pop culture, it was whitewashed and straightwashed, there were queer and trans people of color and strong women there the whole time.” Which is like, my favorite thing to find in media, and a big part of why I love Xena so much. It’s like revisionist history to make it better except it’s actually probably true in ways. Anyway please read these books but also be prepared for an absolutely absurd and wild ride. Full disclosure though, I didn’t love the first book so much, it’s worth it for the sequel!

The Wicker King by K. Ancrum. This book hurt. It still hurts. But it was so good. It took me on a whole journey, and brought me to my destination just like it intended the whole time. The author’s note at the end made me cry! The sheer NEED from this book, the way the main relationship develops and shifts, and how you PERCEIVE the main relationship develops and shifts. I’m in awe of Ancrum’s writing. If you like your ships feral and needy and desperate and wanting and D/S vibes and lowkey super unhealthy but with the potential, with work, to become healthy and beautiful and right, read this book. This might be another one to check trigger warnings for though.

The Entirety of The Daevabad Trilogy by S.A. Chakraborty. I hadn’t heard of this series until this year, when a good friend recommended it to me. It filled the black hole in me left by Harry Potter. The political and mystical/fantasy world building is just *chef’s kiss* - the complexity! The morally grey, everyone’s-done-awful-things-but-some-people-are-still-trying-to-do-good tapestry! The ROMANCE oh my GOD the romance. If I’m absolutely fully invested in a heterosexual romance you know a book is good, but also this book had background (and then later less background) queer characters! And the DRAMA!!! The third book went in a direction that felt a little out of nowhere but honestly I loved the ride. I stayed up until 6am multiple times reading this series and I’d do it again.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon. I loved this book so much that it’s the only book I reviewed on my basically abandoned attempt at a book blog. This book is haunting, horrifying, disturbing, dark, but so, so good. The character's voices were so specific and clear, the relationships so clearly affected by circumstance and yet loving in the ways they could be. This is my favorite portrayal of gender maybe ever, it’s just... I don’t even have the words but I saw a post @audible-smiles​ made about it that’s been rattling in my head since. And, “you gender-malcontent. You otherling,” as tender pillow talk??? Be still my heart. Be ready, though, this book has all the triggers.. it’s a .

Felix Ever After by Kacen Callender. This book called me out on my perspective on love. Also, it made me cry a lot. And it has two different interesting well-written romance storylines. And a realistic coming-into-identity narrative about a Black trans demiboy. And a nuanced discussion of college plans and what one might do after college. And some big beautiful romcom moments. I wish I had it in high school. I’m so glad I have it now! (trigger warning for transphobia & outing, but the people responsible are held accountable by the end, always treated as not okay by the narrative, and the MC’s friends, and like... this is ownvoices and it’s GOOD.)

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern. My Goodreads review says, “I have no idea what happened, and I loved it.” That’s not wrong, but to delve deeper, this book has an ethereal feeling that you get wrapped up in while reading. Nothing makes sense but that’s just as it should be. You’re hooked. It is so atmospheric, so meta, so fascinating. I’ve seen so many people say they interpreted this character or that part or the ending in all different ways and it all makes sense. And it’s all of this with a gay main character and romance and the central theme, the central pillar being a love of and devotion to stories. Of course I was going to love it.

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl’s Confabulous Memoir by Kai Cheng Thom. “Because maybe what really matters isn’t whether something is true, or false. Maybe what matters is the story itself; what kinds of doors it opens, what kinds of dreams it brings.” This book was so good and paradigm shifting. It reminded me of #1 on this list in the way it turns real life experience and hard, tragic ones at that (in this case, of being a trans girl of color who leaves home and tries to make a life for herself in the city, with its violence), into a beautiful, haunting fable. Once upon a time.

I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver. I need to reread this book, as I read it during my most tranceful time of 2020 and didn’t write a review, so I forgot a lot. What I do remember is beautiful and important nonbinary representation, a really cute romance, an interesting parental and familial/sibling dynamic that was both heartbreaking and hopeful, and an on-page therapy storyline. Also Mason Deaver just left twitter but was an absolutely hilarious troll on it before leaving and I appreciate that (and they just published a Christmas novella that I have but haven’t read yet!)

The Truth Is by NoNieqa Ramos. It took a long time to trust this book but I’m so glad I did. It’s raw and real and full of grief and trauma (trigger warnings, that I remember, for grief, death (before beginning of book), and gun violence). The protagonist is flawed and gets to grow over the course of the book, and find her own place, and learn from the people around her, while they also learn to understand her and where she’s coming from. It’s got a gritty, harsh, and important portrayal of found family, messy queerness, and some breathtaking quotes. When I was 82% through this book I posted this update: “This book has addressed almost all of my initial hesitations, and managed to complicate itself beautifully.”

Anger is a Gift by Mark Oshiro.  I wasn’t actually in the best mental health place to read this book when I did (didn’t quite understand what it was) but it definitely reminded me of what there is to fight against and to fight for, and broke my heart, and nudged me a bit closer to hope. The naturally diverse cast of characters was one of the best parts of this book. The romance is so sweet and tender and then so painful. This book is important and well-written but read it with caution and trigger warnings - it’s about grief and trauma and racism and police brutality, but also about love and community.

The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden.  This is a sci-fi/fantasy/specfic mashup that takes place in near-future South Africa and has world-building myths with gods and demigoddesses and a trip to the world of the dead but also a genetically altered hallucinogenic drug that turns people into giant animals and a robot uprising and a political campaign and a transgender pop star and a m/m couple and all of them are connected. It’s bonkers. Like, so, so absolutely mind-breaking weird. And I loved it.

Crier’s War and Iron Heart by Nina Varela.  I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVED the amount of folktales they told each other with queer romances as integral to those stories, especially in Iron Heart. A conversation between the two leads where Crier says she wants to read Ayla like a book, and Ayla says she’s not a book, and Crier explains all the different ways she wants to know Ayla, like a person, and wants to deserve to know her like a person, made me weak. It lives in my head rent-free.

Queen’s Shadow by E.K. Johnston @ekjohnston . I listened to this book on Libby and then immediately listened to it at least one more time, maybe twice, before my borrow time ran out. I love Padmé, and just always wish that female Star Wars characters got more focus and attention and this book gave me that!! And queer handmaidens! And the implication that Sabé is in love with Padmé and that’s just something that will always be true and she will always be devoted and also will make her own life anyway. And the Star Wars audiobooks being recorded the way they are with background sounds and music means it feels like watching a really long detailed beautiful Star Wars movie just about Padmé and her handmaidens.

Sissy: A Coming of Gender Story by Jacob Tobia. I needed to read this. The way Tobia talks about their experience of gender within the contexts of college, college leadership, and career, hit home. I kept trying to highlight several pages in a row on my kindle so I could go back and read them after it got returned to the library (sadly it didn’t work - it cuts off highlights after a certain number of characters). The way they talk about TOKENISM they way they talk about the responsibilities of the interviewer when an interviewee holds marginalized identities especially when no one else in the room does!!! Ahhhh!!!

Bonds of Brass by Emily Skrutskie. Disclaimer for this one that the author was rightfully criticized for writing a Black main character as a white author (and how the story ended up playing into some fucked up stuff that I can’t really unpack without spoiling). But also, the author has been working to move forward knowing she can’t change the past, has donated her proceeds, and this book is really good? It has all the fanfic tropes, so much delicious tension, a totally unexpected plot twist that had me immediately rereading the book. This book was super fun and also kind of just really really good Star Wars fanfiction.

How To Be a Normal Person by T.J. Klune. This book was so sweet, and cute, and hopeful, and both ridiculous and so real. I had some trouble getting used to Gus’ voice and internal monologue, but I got into it and then loved every bit after. The ace rep is something I’ve never seen like this before (and have barely read any ace books but still this was so fleshed out and well rounded and not just like, ‘they’re obsessed with swords not sex’ - looking at you, Once & Future - and leaving it there.) This all felt like a slice of life and I feel like I learned about people while reading it. Some of the moments are so, so funny, some are vaguely devastating. I have been personally victimized by TJ Klune for how he ends this book (a joke, you will know once you read it) but it also reminds me of the end of the “You Are There” episode of Xena and we all know what the answer to that question was.... and I choose to believe the answer here was similar.

You Should See Me in a Crown by Leah Johnson. I wish I had this book when I was in high school. I honestly have complicated feelings about prom and haven’t really been seeking out contemporary YA so I was hesitant to read this but it was so good and so well-written, and had a lot of depth to it. The movie (and Broadway show) “The Prom” wants what this book has.

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. I never read horror books, so this was a new thing for me. I loved the feeling of this book, the way I felt fully immersed. I loved how entirely queer it was. I was interested in the characters and the relationships, even though we didn’t have a full chance to go super deep into any one person but rather saw the connections between everyone and the way the stories matched up with each other. I just wanted a bit of a more satisfying ending.

Honorable Mention: reread in 2020 but read for the first time pre-2020

Red White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. I couldn’t make this post without mentioning this book. It got me through this year. I love this book so much; I think of this book all the time. This book made me want to find love for myself. You’ve all heard about it enough but if you haven’t read this book what are you DOING.

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan @sarahreesbrennan​ . I reread this one over and over too, both as text and as an audiobook. I went for walks when I had lost my earbuds and had Elliott screaming about an elf brothel loudly playing and got weird looks from someone walking their dog. I love this book so much. It’s just so fun, and so healing to read a book reminiscent of all the fantasies I read as a kid, but with a bi main character and a deconstruction of patriarchy and making fun of the genre a bit. Also, idiots to lovers is a great trope and it’s definitely in this book.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book is forever so important to me. I am always drawn in by how tenderly Sáenz portrays his characters. These boys. These boys and their parents. I love them. I love them so much. This is another one where I don’t even know what to say. I have more than 30 pages in my tag for this book. I have “arda” set as a keyboard shortcut on my phone and laptop to turn into the full title. This book saved my life.

Last Night I Sang to the Monster by Benjamin Alire Sáenz. This book hurts to read - it’s a story about trauma, about working through that trauma, healing enough to be ready to hold the worst memories, healing enough to move through the pain and start to make a life. It’s about found family and love and pain and I love it. It’s cathartic. And it’s a little bit quietly queer in a beautiful way, but that’s not the focus. Look up trigger warnings (they kind of are spoilery so I won’t say them here but if you have the potential to be triggered please look them up or ask me before reading)

Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine.  When asked what my all time favorite book is, it’s usually this one. Gail Carson Levine has been doing live readings at 11am since the beginning of the pandemic shut down in the US, and the first book she read was Ella Enchanted. I’ve been slowly reading it to @mssarahpearl and am just so glad still that it has the ability to draw me in and calm me down and feels like home after all this time. This book is about agency. I love it.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman @chronicintrovert . I’ve had this on my all-time-faves list since I read it a few years ago and ended up rereading it this year before sending a gift copy to a friend, so I could write little notes in it. It felt a little different reading it this time - as I get further away from being a teenager myself, the character voice this book is written in takes a little longer to get used to, but it’s so authentic and earnest and I love it. I absolutely adore this book about platonic love and found family and fandom and mental illness and abuse and ace identity and queerness and self-determination, especially around college and career choices. Ahhh. Thank you Alice Oseman!!!

Leia: Princess of Alderaan by Claudia Gray @claudiagray​ . I have this one on audible and reread it several times this year. I love the fleshing out of Leia’s story before the original trilogy, I love her having had a relationship before Han, and the way it would have affected her perspective. I also am intrigued by the way it analyses the choices the early rebellion had to make... I just, I love all the female focused new Star Wars content and the complexity being brought to the rebellion.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

*DASHES INTO THE ROOM, STRANGELY PHYSICAL HEARTS SPILLING OUT OF MY ARMS*

I HEARD ASH NEEDED LOVE TODAY AND I’M HERE TO TELL YOU 25 REASONS YOU ARE INCREDIBLE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT. SO HERE WE GO, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, 25 SUPER COOL AWESOME ASH THINGS THAT MAKE MY DAY BRIGHTER

1) your blog name is just!!! Really cool!!! To this day, I don’t know why, it’s just a daily source of giddiness. Love me a blog with a really cool play on word name and hey howdy hey look what we got here, a super cool blog with a super cool name

2) you are so amazingly kind??? And incredibly involved with your readers??? You are the sort of writer I thought existed when I was a smol sheltered bean and lo and behold one of my first outings I find a super awesome cool and interactive writer who cares??? So much about what she’s putting out into the world, and how it affects others??? You are both an inspiration and a gift??

3) thanksgiving lives in my head rent free, day after day, minute after minute. Catch me sweeping up popcorn at work and all of a sudden my brain is starting my cinematic presentation of stuff being spooned onto a pitifully empty plate, and the warmth of the holidays being stolen away by the things that lurk in grey eyes :)

4) you and your blog have (has? Grammar. Bleh) been such a source of wisdom, and it’s just wonderful. I know I can’t be the only one. You share so many wonderful resources, and you *care* so much I just. Yeah. You’re incredible. I cannot even begin to explain how much I’ve benefited from running across this wonderful place.

5) I cannot speak about the amazing things that comprise ash without going absolutely bonkers about your w r i t i n g. I just. You are so good at layering meaning upon meaning upon meaning into your works, until they become this beautiful, colorful sedimentary formation of gorgeous intent and heartbreaking subtext.

6) and beyond just subtext, IMAGERY, ASH. IMAGERY. I COULD WANDER DOWN YOUR SPRAWLING CORRIDORS OF DESCRIPTION FOR HOURS. GET LOST IN ALL THE LITTLE NOOKS AND CRANNIES WHERE DETAILS LIE AND MY HEART GOES TO BE FULL AS WELL AS TO SHATTER

7) just about any time I’m up early I see a happy little green discord bubble that makes my heart go ☀️❤️ and I’m not a morning person, but it always puts me in a happy mood to start my day

8) hello random point here!! Just for me to say you’re amazing and I love you!! I’m allowed to do that cause I made the rules :P

9) you are taking a break!!! A well deserved, wonderful break to rest the ash head!!!!! Take care of the ash brain!!! For inside it are many wonderful things!!! Many amazing gifts to this world that you bless us with!!! Take care of the ash!!!

10) now I will sing a song: *clears throat* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH HOW I LOVE THE ASH OC’S, THE ASH OC’S, THE ASH OC’S! HOW I LOVE THE ASH OC’S THAT BREAK MY HEART IN TWO

11) you were the first whump writer I ever really came into contact with! That’s not to say I hadn’t read whump before, but I had never interacted with anyone before. And nervous little me stuck my head in and you went HELLO WELCOME WE’RE ALL VERY FRIENDLY HERE HAVE A SLICE OF HEARTACHE PIE AND JOIN THE FUN and I cannot thank you enough for that

12) your profile picture. Please. It gives me so much serotonin

13) stop I’m already gay. This comes with no context but it doesn’t even need it. You know who this is about.

14) Chris owns my entire heart and also my soul 🥺 so does Kauri, come to think of it 🥺 and Jake 🥺 and Krista 🥺 and-

15) I FINISHED THE BAD ARC RECENTLY AND HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME. HOW DARE YOU DO SUCH A FANTASTIC JOB RIPPING MY HEART TO PIECES IN SUCH A BRILLIANT MANNER. HOW DARE YOU MAKE SOMETHING SO gOOD HURT SO BAD. HOW DARE-

16) Teach me to write pls you are a goddess of prose and I bow at your altar

17) HEY GUESS WHAT IT’S ANOTHER RANDOM BLURB WHERE I JUMP IN AND REMIND YOU THAT I LOVE YOU IN CASE YOU FORGOT WHAT THIS WAS ALL ABOUT! YOU ARE FANTASTIC! YOU ARE SPLENDED! KIND! IMPORTANT! TRULY MAGNIFICENT!

18) never has someone ever managed to make me so worked up over a roomba, I swear to god I am more invested in Kiera’s well-being than I am in my own, PLEASE TELL ME MY FUNKY LITTLE VACUUM MAKES IT

19) Vincent! Shield! Breaks! My! Heart! Someone! Please! Help! Him! For! The! Love! Of! God! Please! Just that whole...kauri’s whole....and Owen and....😭 you have such good concepts and they break me to pieces and the (minimal though it is) comfort stitches it back together and ASHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

20) five more left! Five more left! Cause I can only fit 25 in! But there is! so much more! About the Ash! Of that I’m sure! Look out. Here comes the Ash love!

21) this is specifically a me thing, but in following some of the discourse that passes through your blog, I have learned a *lot* about the world, and about myself. I won’t give specifics, but you actually encouraged me to talk with someone, and secure a diagnosis that I’ve been holding off on for a long time. And it has opened up so many pathways, and helped me see the world in such a different light and I just. I can never really thank you enough for that?

22) I can never get enough of how amazing you are at flipping the usual narrative on its head, and drawing out such crucially important morals from it? God I just. Ash

23) you’re still here! You’re still going! The world is a crazy place, and the internet even crazier, but look at you! You’re here! In spite of it all, it’s still you! And I thank my lucky stars every day for it!

24) this is just a fun fact but you are one of (5) blogs I keep post notifications on for, constantly. Tumblr and I are very fickle friends, but I cannot tell you how much it gives me a little rush of glee (or terror or sorrow or fear depending on the content) whenever I get that little banner pop up on my phone and it says ASHINTHEAIRLIKESNOW POSTED:

25) Number twenty five is simply, truthfully, and completely that you are Ash! You are wonderful, and brilliant, and a light in a world that gets pretty dim, every now and then. Even when your light feels a little grey, never let it go out ❤️ you are loved, and you are so very special, and you deserve tenfold of the goodness you put out.

ANYWAY, IN CONCLUSION: WE LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK ASH!!!!!

Anon, I have no response that can possibly match what I was sent here. This was delightful and it made me feel the same way I felt when I first saw the ‘boom da yada’ commercial for the Discovery channel, which is to say... awesome. Thank youuuuuu for this list!

[staandreamteam]

“YO, SOMEONE CLIP THAT!” (1)

Excitement

a feeling of great enthusiasm and eagerness.

"YES! I WENT TO THE SECOND STRONGHOLD, HA HA!"

(In this Minecraft fanfiction, you actually spawn INTO the game of Minecraft, and feel pain and damage, adding to the tension.)

"Hey, you lovely degenerates! Star here, and today we're going to be playing Minecraft Manhunt, based on the ever-popular YouTuber Dream, along with his friends! No, I don't have anyone to play with, so today, it's Minecraft Youtuber vs. Terminator! Woo-Hoo!" The chat erupted into claps, or well, saying claps as you adjusted the (favorite color) headset on your head. It wasn't normal for them to get this much attention, more or less 700 viewers on their stream. You gave a small chuckle at it, as you loaded up the famous Minecraft screen, the soft glowing of the screen illuminating your (skin color) face as you gave your most signature grin. Loading a random world and updating some of your other platforming games, you found yourself in a mushroom biome, one of the rarest biomes in the games. No trees, which meant that you had to make a literal break for it after you spawned the terminator in. 

Pulling up the chat, everyone was spamming "RUN" "GO" or something along those lines. Giving a small chuckle, and flirting your (eye color) eyes around the surroundings, you found that there was a shipwreck, maybe 100 blocks off from the spawn.

"You guys ready?"

Spawning the terminator in, you found yourself quickly running off towards the shipwreck, while you heard heavy footsteps behind yourself. Moving towards the mushroom biomes, you took the time to actually get some of the mushrooms from the ground and giant ones above, making sure that the terminator was always one step behind you as you took off towards the water. Dirt sounds were being built as you dove into the water, the small bubble of airs popping in front of you as you swam your way towards the shipwreck. Thankfully, it was on land, so you didn't have to worry about swimming all the way down towards the bottom of the ocean in hopes of trying not to drown.

Seeing that it was capsized, you quickly got onto the ship, searching around for the chest. Enchanted leather boots and helmet, iron and gold ingots, and some emeralds. Not a good find, but at least it offered some protection in the ways that you could protect yourself from the terminator. 

"Oh boy.. I need wood."

Mumbling to yourself, you didn't realize that you were way behind on your normal schedule and that the terminator was getting closer than you had expected. Collecting only two pieces of wood from the shipwreck, you dove back off, but nothing was around. Seaweed and everything else yes, but nothing was really around for you to get past this guy without having to go and try to fight him off. You knew he did about 5 hearts of damage, so a combo on yourself would definitely kill you right here and there. You couldn't fight him off with a stick, no less than you had enough iron nuggets to only make two ingots.

Thinking about it, you started to realize you heard dolphins. Dolphins, by the shore? Well, that was a bit surprising. Seeing the dolphin to the side, you swam quickly up to the shore, seeing that the dolphin had already given you the effect of fast swimming. Letting out a chuckle, and flipping the terminator off, you swam off quickly, and in a little of given time, you were very far away from them, the dolphin finally leaving you as you made your way to shore. Grabbing some of the sand and throwing it into the water after you hauled yourself from it, you made your way through the birch forest, grabbing whatever you could to make a crafting table and an iron sword for protection. Making some gold ingots as well and cutting down some more leaves for apples, you decided to check in on your chat, and boy were they going wild.

THEY DID A DREAM SFKDLSAJFKDAS DREAM IS LITERALLY QUAKING ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT DREAM'S ALTER EGO, BECAUSE-

Literally, all you could do was laugh, trying to convince them that no, they weren't Dream's alter ego, and two, it was just pure luck, not a Dream move. If they hadn't noticed the shipwreck earlier, you wouldn't have even made it this far in the game. Now knowing that you had at least a crazy lead on him, and you can respond to some of the donations (which you literally told them not to, but thanks anyway for the crazy donations) and pulled them up, starting to get to work on how they should get to the nether while mining in a cave.

"Since we're so far ahead, let's go ahead and read some donations from our lovely degenerates! Fluffy123 says 'That was such a dream move, poggers', with 5 dollars! What have I told you guys about donations up to 5 dollars?! I don't need it! But thanks anyways Fluffy, I didn't know I can pull off such a Dream move!"

"DreamTeamSimp says 'When are you going to collab with Pixel again?' Well, after a bit! She's currently moving into her own house, so maybe in a week or so, you're going to see some more Minecraft and Fall Guys collabs with us! And 3 dollars! Thank you so much!"

"TommyPoggers says 'If you could have any wish, what would it be?' for 4 dollars! Thank you, and to answer your question Tommy, for us to stop having COVID-19. I don't REALLY want everything to go back to the way it was, but if I had to choose, it would be that, even though the earth does well without us, and it's beautiful anyway!"

"DreamWasTakenToMars says 'Would you actually do a collab with Sapnap if you could?' for 99 cents! Awww, thank you! And yeah, I would! Y'all, he even said 'Baka' on a stream, causing all of us weebs and geeks to go wild, so heck if I could, I definitely would if I could!"

After reading the donations, you continued to talk with your chat, making sure that everyone was doing okay before you started to go back to concentrating on the game at hand, yelling a small yes in triumph as you found diamonds, RIGHT above the diamond level.

"well, at least I'll die happily!"

"POGGERS! LET'S FREAKING GO!"

You had knocked the terminator in the void, and right before you could fall in too, you placed a water bucket on the end stone above you, climbing up the water before quickly grabbing it back into the bucket. Running back to where you had the beds ready, you dodged the nearby endermen as you placed down the water in the small end hole, blocking yourself with stone as you placed the final bed. Watching everything unfold, your viewers had grown from 700 to at least 1,000 in the span of the 3 hours you were playing. 

The bed blew up, the dragon unleashing a growl of pain before exploding in a nearby light, causing you to look down as the portal below you showed the purple glowing of the end, as you fell through. The end of Minecraft, as you found yourself back in the real world, watching your chat say so much loving stuff you couldn't help but laugh. Donations were flooding, hearts were booming, people were actually subscribing as you gave another laugh, adjusting the microphone in front of your mouth, giving your favorite viewers a salute.

"Pog. We did it, we beat Minecraft, with a literal robot on our tail. Poggers! And thanks to everyone that donated during the stream, I hope I read all of yours! Now, let's get to naming some of the last donations that actually happened during the final moments!"

"Jason says 'that was absolutely incredible! Dream has competition.' Jason, no. I will never be as good as the Minecraft speedrunner himself, but thanks for saying that! Oh! And thank you for the 2 dollar donation, it really means a lot!"

"SappyNappy says 'don't you just love it when you get to the end' with a TEN DOLLAR DONATION?! HOLY MAN, YOU'RE LIKE THE TOP DONATOR! THANK YOU! And yeah! It's the feeling of you ending out of that relation that makes it feel so good!"

Everyone was still celebrating in the chat as you read the chat to them out loud, laughing, smiling, fussing, whatever came your way, you would try and answer it as quickly as possible to get to the next person with a question. You had gone by Star for at least a month now, gaining some sizable attention for playing Minecraft colorblind like George, half the world was missing plus blocks had gravity like Sapnap and Minecraft Manhunts but with some special twist on them like Dream. You didn't mean to accidentally copy what they were doing, you were just doing it for fun, for your viewers, and for your enjoyment!

"Alright alright, you lovely degenerates! That is it for this stream of "Minecraft Youtuber vs. Terminator! As always, poggers, simps, and everyone else in between have a lovely day, and I'll see you, IN THE NIGHT-TIME SKY!"

You gave a small wave, with a closed eye smile before going offline, many people saying bye before you closed down your twitch stream. Now, to any of you wondering, yes you do have a twitch account, with at least 1k people who are really much the best people you could ever ask for. You found your phone buzzing on your bed, as you pulled up the shut down button for your computer, seeing that your phone was going absolutely bonkers.

Giving a small groan, you got up, and just flopped on your bed as you looked at your twitter, and boy oh boy, it was going INSANE with clips of you outsmarting a computer once again, and again, and you had to chuckle at everyone, throwing your phone to a nearby charging station, and flopping into your bed, you silently started to doze off, the fan above you slightly moving your (hair color) (hair length) hair as you snored slightly. You never did really check all of your messages though.

.

.

.

WiblurSoot: Damn, Dream has competition now, do we?

DreamWasTaken: Stfu @WiblurSoot, you bully your Minecraft fans in your bird videos.

--

5.1 pages, 1,760 words

[bruno-bronze]

50 Questions You’ve Never Been Asked

I was tagged by @jetset-rain THANK YOU!!! 

What is the color of your hairbrush? i have like three blue wide-toothed combs I used to use buuuut i recently did the quarantine chop >:3 so now i just have the little black comb that came with my clippers.

Name a food you never eat? mushrooms!!!

Are you typically too warm or too cold? i’m always cold :c

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? I was pretty asleep

What is your favorite candy bar? i prefer like gummies or fruit candy but heath bar good

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? I’ve been to a couple of football and baseball games

What is the last thing you said out loud? literally cannot remember. In my defense though I just woke up

What is your favorite ice cream? rainbow sherbet or cookie dough

What was the last thing you had to drink? iced coffee

Do you like your wallet? i did when i first got it! I wish it were pocket-sized now, it’s big

What was the last thing you ate? i made enchiladas for dinner last night

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? nope!

The last sporting event you watched? on purpose? probably a football game we went to last time i was in my college town. 

What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?  fresh kettle corn!!!!!

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my pal jenn

Ever go camping? yes!! almost a year ago today, actually. and a bunch with girl scouts as a kid

Do you take vitamins? I OWN vitamins and..... i took them regularly for a while

Do you go to church every Sunday? dad? is that you??? not even a little LOL

Do you have a tan? naw

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? depends on my mood! but Chinese food I think

Do you drink your soda with a straw? not usually!

What color socks do you usually wear? oh all kinds! my favorite are floral print but i have an extensive sock drawer

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? yeah. But i’m usually a strict 5 miles over the limit person

What terrifies you? balloons popping, fireworks

Look to your left, what do you see? my desk and my work computer, which i am currently ignoring :3

What chore do you hate? vacuuming 

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? crikey

What’s your favorite soda? coke i think? 

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus? it depends 100% on 1) if there’s a line in the drive thru and 2) if they have one of those mix-y soda fountain computer things

Who’s the last person you talked to? my mom

Favorite cut of beef? i....... have never thought about this question and i don’t care to now

Last song you listened to? season 2 episode 3 by glass animals

Last book you read? Tomato Red by Daniel Woodrell. . . i got it out of a mystery box from my favorite used bookstore! It was............ a wild ride. IDK if i’d recommend it, but the narrator’s voice is GOOD STUFF

Favorite day of the week? what are days? what’s a week? real talk though, friday is nice

Can you say the alphabet backwards? not even a little bit

How do you like your coffee? little bit of sweet n’ low, little bit of almond milk

Favorite pair of shoes? black vans

The time you normally go to sleep? lately either 10:30pm or 3am :(

The time you normally get up? 7/7:30 ideally. 9am if I went to bed at 3

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? both, really! love a sunrise on a road trip, love a sunset on a beach

How many blankets on your bed? three right now

Describe your kitchen plates. white and square (same hat! lol)

Do you have a favorite alcoholic beverage? I like an interesting beer or something with whiskey

Do you play cards? not even a little bit lol

What color is your car? uhh.... white usually. It’s been a while since i’ve washed it, so. kind of gray

Can you change a tire? not even a little D:

Your favorite province? gonna go with state: I know it’s got a bad rep but i miss florida :c 

Favorite job you’ve ever had? my current one, i think! Work kinda sucks in general but at least I get to do some writing/editing

How did you get your biggest scar? i dropped a microwave chicken pot pie on my leg/knee when i was six and got a gnarly burn. I have a scar like the size of the palm of my hand.

What did you do today that made someone else happy? I made me an iced coffee and she appreciates it. IDK, I live alone and I just woke up!

I’m not sure if any of you would be interested but @splendidduchess @official-mermaid @docstrider . . . as always no pressure~

and ofc if anyone just wants to do this, please say I tagged you!!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #251

apologies the formatting is fucked up, oof.

How many smurfs can you name? Zero. Have you ever fully eradicated a bad habit that you had? Uhhh maybe? I'm not sure. The radio is playing U2, The Defects, Echo & the Bunnymen, The Pointer Sisters, Staubkind, and Dr. Dre. on different stations. Which band are you most likely to listen to? I only know U2 (and do NOT like them), Dr. Dre, and one song by E&TB; I don't know the others. I guess I'd pick whichever song sounded most appealing. Miracle on 34th Street, original or remake? Never seen it. Have you ever been in a parade? No. Do you turn the bass up all the way in your car (or would you if you had a car) and blast the music? Ew, no. That shit's obnoxious. What keeps you from being happy? I'm quiiiite sad of an adult. I want to feel worth something, do something. If you could go back in time and talk to yourself five years ago what would you say to yourself (You can only stay in the past for FIVE MINUTES so make it COUNT!)? At that time, Jason and I would still be together, so I'd try to nail it into my head that I can't put my happiness entirely in another person's hands and that I have to have faith in myself and my own strength. AND ESPECIALLY to not give up, to keep trying harder every day. Five minutes wouldn't be enough. What websites are addictive to you? I'd go bonkers without YouTube, and I go through Tumblr binges, but then don't go on for a few days. I have to check KM daily, but it's not really an "addictive" thing, but rather the admin instinct of I have to make sure everything is in order. I check Facebook habitually, but only like, once or twice a day. Who do you never want to end up like? It's... sad to say, but in a lot of ways, my mom. Her life's just been super, super unfair. As a person she's mostly lovely, but as far as luck, happiness, and success goes, sometimes it feels like the whole world's against her. What will you never ever do again? Turn another person into my whole entire universe. What’s the most terrible lie someone could tell you? Something regarding Jason, I'm sure. Probably like, he said he never loved me or something. Even knowing that's absolute shit, PTSD is a ride and I'd. Lose my absolute shit and obsess over "well what if he really didn't." What was the last thing that you printed out? Stuff for my Women Writers class. We print out SO much shit there. I feel like I've alone killed at least seven trees by now, and we don't have a choice but to print the readings out. What do you look forward to each day? M a r k/Unus Annus video boiz. What’s the best song to listen to after a break up? "It depends on the context of your breakup." <<<< This. The radio is playing Poison, Inxs, the Psychadelic Furs, Dio, and Matchbox 20 on different stations. What do you listen to? AHHHHHHHHH Poison, my friends. Do you know what it’s like to take care of someone else? Not really, I guess? But yes to a degree: I've babysat twice, and I assume that counts, and then when Jason had bronchitis, I would barely let the dude leave the bed. Would you rather take care of someone or be taken care of? I don't know, I guess it depends on what's wrong? What is the worst 80’s song in your opinion? You're asking someone who loves '80s music. I'm sure there are some pop-ish/more mainstream ones I don't like, but idk off the very top of my head. What song makes you so happy that just want to dance and dance and DANCE? None. What has been your most beautiful magical memorable cloud nine manic ecstatic incredibly happy bouncy air-light moment of this life??? Slow-dancing to "Stairway to Heaven" w/ Jason out in my yard in his headlights the night of prom. It's the reason I absolutely, entirely, 100% cannot listen to the song anymore, no chance. Do you go out of your way for other people? Depends on the person. What’s your favorite short story? I don't know. Have do you feel about beauty pageants? I fucking hate them. It always just feeds the standards of society and makes both women and men hate their bodies. It also puts far too much emphasis on the "importance" of appearance versus personality. What is your favorite DIY related website? I don't do/watch DIY stuff. Do you bruise easily? Very very, but not the ones you usually see clearly. I don't know how my anemia test came back negative. What kind of bread do you like? Pumpernickel is entirely the supreme type, I love potato bread too, I enjoy wheat... Are your air and water as pure as you want them to be? Idk about air, but I'd suppose so; we live in a rural area. Our tap water, I'm positive no. There's some weird shit with our water. The smell is fucking disgusting, like pure iron, but supposedly it's clean... We've had it tested a few times, but there is SOMETHING wrong with it. Would you ever visit an insect zoo? Sure, if they couldn't get on me. Can you enjoy life without stimulants (coffee, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol)? All of those, yes. Does caffeine count? If so, I'm sure I could, but it'd be very hard. How much thought do you put into your dance moves? I don't dance, so like... zero. What is something you want to improve on this year? Just how much I care about others' perceptions of me, mainly over the most trivial of things. If you could, would you want to stay young forever? No, considering I want to die one day. Immortality sounds ew. What is/was your worst subject in school? Mathematics. Are you a sarcastic person? Oh yeah. What role does religion play in your life? A small one. It helps that my religion (or at least the one I relate closest to, Neo-Paganism) doesn't have the most strict doctrine, therefore allowing a lot of wiggle room varying from person to person. Can you sleep with your eyes open? No. In the past week, what song have you listened to the most often? "Broadcast From Beyond the Grave: Death Inc." by Motionless In White. What was the last thing you shared with someone else? I shared some fries with my mom last time we grabbed fast food. While playing video games, do you prefer being first or second player? I don't care, UNLESS I'm showing someone a new game and therefore I know what to click and such to set the game up; in that case, I prefer to be player one. Otherwise, I don't care at all. What is the most difficult word for you to pronounce? HA, currently, my Biology professor's last name. I obviously won't share it, but I always fuck it up. What did you have to do for the last homework you were assigned? I have to watch a movie - The Suffragette - for Women Writers for when I missed it that week I was away from school. What was the last important thing that you thought about? I think if Mom and I really should stock up on food and TP, but to an actually realistic degree. You hear so many different voices on how bad this pandemic is really gonna be. Personally, I think it's an extreme overreaction, but what do I know. I haven't researched. Generally, do you call people, or wait for them to call you? I wait. I hate talking on the phone. Has anyone ever questioned your sanity? I'm sure, including my gd self. I'm 99.99% sure at one point in the breakup's aftermath, I actually was insane by definition. Especially now that I'm mostly recovered, looking back I'm just like... "hun." How many people do you depend on? Just my mom, really, but to a dangerous degree. How many people do you think depend on you? I feel like my mom does, to an extent anyway. I'm the only person who lives with her and I know she loves me, so I'm company for her. Especially now that she has cancer, she's really gonna depend on me during chemo and surgery. What is the worst color combination? Uhhh maybe like. Puke green and brown? Have you ever injured yourself walking around in the dark? Yeah, but nothing severely. At what age did you develop an interest in the opposite [or same] sex? Idk. I was "ew, boys" until I think... late elementary school. Girls, I had my bi crisis in the 8th grade. Then came the denial and shoving into the very back of my skull. I came out as bi though late '17. Are you or members of your family religious? I think my entire family is but me. Well, correction, I have like a mild connection to religion, but definitely not Christianity like the rest. When was the last time you acted like someone you’re not? Good question. It's not something I really bother with anymore. Like, I can curve around things I don't want to share, but I don't fake what I do reveal. When was the last time that you cleaned your room? Actually! I vacuumed and dusted yesterday. Or the day before, not sure. How many hats do you own/wear? Either none or one, in which case it would be a Carolina Hurricanes' cap as a memento I got from one of the hockey games Dad and I went to. Did the last song you listened to hold any special meaning? I actually don't recall what it was. Are you experiencing problems within a current relationship? No. When you’re upset, who do you turn to? Usually Mom. Does winter weather depress you? Noooo! Who was the last person that you called? Me mother. What product was being advertised on the last commercial you saw? I haven't watched TV in forever. When you think about your last relationship, what song comes to mind? "Oh, Pretty Woman" by Van Halen REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Are there any lyrics to describe your current crush/relationship? Eh. Who in your life makes you the most uncomfortable? Probably my sister's husband, really. I don't think he likes me at all. Treats me decently to my face, but I have my reasons to believe so. Do you ever receive comments on your weight? Not unless I'm at the doctor. Occasionally people who know me well comment I've lost weight, but it hasn't really happened lately now that my weight's slightly risen for who the actual fuck knows why. Don't get me started. Is there anything that you do just to make other people happy? Uhhh just for that sole purpose, don't think so. When you need a temporary escape, what do you do? Listen to music or sleep. What was the last lie that you believed in? I don't want to focus on it. What band would you most like to meet? OZZY. LET ME SEE MY DAD. What was the last thing that you wrote down [with a pen/pencil]? Psychology notes. Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? Yes. Are you uncomfortable with being photographed? YES. How many people have you talked to today? Just Mom. We woke up in the middle of the night to screeching tires outside; someone lost control of their car because dumbasses go lightning speed around this cure we live on. When you go camping, do you sleep in a tent or an RV? Never legitimately been camping. What’s one ridiculous thing that you do? Let anxiety ruin a lot of opportunities. Do you feel that you must wear makeup to be attractive? Ehhh no, depending on your taste. Ever done anything dangerous while driving with someone else in the car? I don’t drive. Name someone you wish you could be closer with? There's a handful of old high school friends/acquaintances I have on Facebook I really wanna rekindle relationships with. I think I especially would like to get to know Courtlynn better. We seem very similar. What’s unique about your city or town? Its name is shared with a town in Tennessee. Are you a momma’s girl/boy? I'm very close to my mom. What is your favorite dance to do? *shrugs* What is your favorite song to sing? I don't really sing along with songs, but I suppose "Disguise" by MiW. It holds meaning to me and I also just love the chorus. Is English your 1st language? Yes. Did your older sibling ever tell you freaky stories that you believed? I DO NOT know why I remember this, but one time she told me that a boy in her class kept saying the same word repeatedly so many times that it became the only word he could say. It scared me, lmao. Where is the biggest scar on your body? I'd assume at the very bottom of my pelvis where I had surgery. I can't actually see it, but cleaning the area let me know it was kinda long. Do you have a yahoo account? No. Is your mom prettier than you? This is such a mean question, tf. What do you think about guys shaving their legs? You shave whatever you want, boo. Are you a violent person? Not at all, if you don't include my insane nightmares/terrors/whatever they qualify as. Those are always violent. Do you like word searches and cross word puzzles? I do. Have you ever gone to a private school? Yes, my college.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // FEBRUARY 20

On Wednesdays we wear pink, and in February, I stay inside and watch Turner Classic Movies because it’s too gosh-darn cold to do anything else. I watched almost as many movies as days in this month, largely thanks to TCM’s 31 Days of Oscar. A few things I learned:

As much as I enjoy a good TV binge, I enjoy the satisfaction of a movie's end more.

Thank goodness TCM shows good movies when the theatres seem barren of them.

If anyone says women’s complaints about their depiction in Hollywood are overblown, I’d challenge them to watch my month’s lineup. Most female characters were basically non-existent or defined as objects of desire no matter what decade the movies were from.

In February, I also watch the Academy Awards. Most of the movies here were nominated for Oscars, but I’m also recommending a few more pop culture picks (including TV, social media, a book, articles, and music) for the month.

February Crowd-Pleasers

The Imagineering Story (2019)

The Imagineering Story tells the story behind the creation of Disney theme parks, with the greatest highlight of showing you how attractions are designed. Is this shameless Disney marketing on the Disney+ streaming service? Yep, but it’s so well done that for a moment I forgot about their unsettling takeover of the entertainment industry and wanted to quit everything I was doing to go work for them.

This Knives Out Sequel Twitter Thread

The Internet can be a scary place, but this thread reminds us the fun things that can happen when tons of strangers come together. My recommendation was Knives Out: In 2 the Donut Hole, but that’s mostly because someone beat me to Knives Out 2: Adam Driver Is In It.

Classic Action Double Feature: The Magnificent Seven (1960) and The Dirty Dozen (1967)

Your girl loves star-studded team-ups, and it’s never better than when an action movie rounds up its squad of special skills. Also a Charles Bronson double feature! (Bonus: I recommend checking out the 2016 Magnificent Seven remake for a reevaluation of some of the elements that haven’t aged well in the original.)

Classic Comedy Double Feature: Moonstruck (1987) and Road to Morocco (1942)

Moonstruck is like My Big Fat Greek Wedding meets While You Were Sleeping, and Cher’s 1980s hair is a mood. (Arguably, so is Nicolas Cage’s chest hair.) Road to Morocco is like Airplane! meets Aladdin, and the silliness has hardly aged thanks to the talents of Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.

Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee

The science of joy? This non-fiction book is as fun a read as it should be! It’s not providing answers to deep questions of philosophy, but it’s about a philosophy that can bring life changes. I was amazed by stories of how bright colors, circular spaces, and Northern Lights can inspire joy no matter what your circumstances are. The only problem with this book is that you constantly want to Google every beautiful things she is describing—maybe we need a big coffee table book with photos as a second edition?

'90s Action Double Feature:Tremors (1990) and The Fugitive (1993)

You know a movie's good when you tense up even though you know what's coming. I'd caught bits and pieces of The Fugitive on TV, but this Harrison Ford/Tommy Lee Jones standoff still sucked me in when I watched it start-to-finish. Tremors is not a good movie—this is a movie so bad it’s great. If on some Friday night you need a big, dumb action movie with terrible dialogue, a monster created with dated special effects, and forgettable characters getting picked off one by one and coasts entirely on the charisma of Kevin Bacon and Reba McEntire (???), have I got the movie for you!

February Critic Picks

These Pieces on the Grammys Controversy

The New York Times and Variety wrote about why the firing of President/CEO Deborah Dugan and her subsequent lawsuit won’t be disappearing even though the Recording Academy is trying hard as heck to do that. As one too invested in how the arts are recognized and celebrated, I’m paying attention to what appears to be a scandal just waiting to be uncovered.

“Can the Grammys Be Trusted?” by Jon Caramanica (The New York Times)

“The Grammys May Be Over, but the Recording Academy Scandal Isn’t” by Jem Aswad (Variety)

Dark Passage (1947)

An exception to the trend of weak female roles in the films I watched this month. Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart re-team for their third film (of four) together in this romantic film noir. Bogart plays a wrongfully accused escaped convict, and Bacall is the woman who helps him keep his cover. The unconventional first-person camera angles at the beginning will catch your attention, but their chemistry will keep you invested till the end.

The Oscars

The 2020 Oscars ceremony was one of the most bonkers ceremonies in recent memory. Bonkers is preferable to boring, and I love any night celebrating movies, so I have very few complaints about an evening spent with friends eating movie-themed snacks. (Anyone care for an Adam Screw-Driver?) My favorite moments came thanks to Bong Joon Ho, especially his wins for Best Original Screenplay and Best Director.

The French Dispatch Trailer (2020)

A star-studded team-up about Midwestern journalists from the aesthetically-pleasing mind of Wes Anderson? Take my money!

Classic War Comedy Double Feature: Life Is Beautiful (1997) and Dr. Strangelove (1964)

They were both nominated for Best Picture, and they both find humor in the darkest of war. In Life Is Beautiful (La Vita è Bella), a father transforms a Nazi concentration camp into a game to save his son’s innocence. In Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, a bunch of incompetent leaders try to prevent nuclear war. Neither sounds funny, but they pull it off with delicate execution. (Bonus: Enjoy Robert Benigni winning an Oscar!)

The Slow Rush by Tame Impala

As my brother would say, this album slaps.

Leap Day Bonus

“What a Man Gotta Do” by the Jonas Brothers

My apologies to the Jo Bros for forgetting to include this in my January Round Up—this movie-inspired music video is a treat.

Also in February…

Yes, I love the Oscars, but considering how much viewership went down, it seems the Academy could do more to draw people in. One of my favorite film podcasts inspired me to brainstorm seven ways the Oscars could make the public care again in a piece for ZekeFilm.

The writers of ZekeFilm counted down our favorite films of 2019, most of which you can find on streaming now.

Kyla and I discussed a rock ‘n’ roll documentary and a camp classic on SO IT’S A SHOW? this month.

If you want to see the full list of movies I watched this month, you can find it on Letterboxd.

Photo credits: Grammys, Tame Impala. Joyful my own. All others IMDb.com.

[diamond-song42]

Card Shark 114: Ocellus, Knowledge is Power

Hey there, my friends! Welcome back to Card Shark! Before I start today’s Shark, I come bearing a couple announcements: first, you may have noticed the sizeable gap between this Shark and the last. That’s mainly because I have been doing some major home remodeling and starting my exclusively-virtual Autumn Quarter... and that means it’s time once again for me to only post Sharks sporadically instead of approximately once a week :( But don’t fret! I’ll still be doing Pinktober all month long, and whenever a surge of inspiration and/or free time strikes me, I’ll be back with some more CCG content! Until then, why not pop on over to Meticulous Talks’ social media channels... I played my match as part of the Tournament of Champions and you’ll get to see the inner deck workings of my mind! I hope you’ll check it out!

Now onto the Shark... here’s another category of card I haven’t talked about in a while: White Mane Character! Looking back at my Card Shark records, the last time I talked about a White Mane Character was when I covered Sweetie Belle, Cutie Mark Crusader... back in March 2019! And that was the first time I covered a Mane Character of that color! So let’s fix that and talk about another one, one that is aptly appropriate for my life at the moment! Here’s my take on Friends Forever’s “Ocellus, Knowledge is Power!”

We’ve had Book Horses - now it’s time for Book Bugs. I don’t think I need to stress how easy it is to flip this Mane - like Friends Forever “sister” Manes Gallus, Full of Surprises and Smolder, Culture Shock, this one simply requires a Problem confrontation to boost. Naturally, the boosted side is where it gets fun. Ocellus normally has 3 White power, but if you have a Friend on your side whose power is higher than its AT cost (say, a 2 AT cost but 3 printed power), Ocellus gets +2 power. That’s 3 to 5 power right there! And you’d be surprised how easy it is to get and play a Friend that is more powerful than its cost - printed power isn’t a stipulation, just power. So that Friend could have power counters, a Resource like Ten Carat Hat that boosts power, or just a simple printed ability on it and Ocellus is suddenly bulky. But wait, there’s more! As an Immediate effect, you can pay 3 AT to double Ocellus’s power until the end of the turn. Oh yes, going from 3 to 6 power is nice... but think of the crazy shit that could happen if you went from 5 to 10 power! I’m pretty sure that’s one of the highest power amounts a Mane can actually achieve naturally and without a Staff of Sacanas (it’s not nearly as bonkers as Thorax or Ambassador Applejack, of course, but I’d wager she’d at least be in the top five or six). And the best part? Once your power levels get that high, it gets increasingly harder for your opponent to stop. There are cards that can reduce opposing characters’ power, sure, but most are only by -1 or -2 (only a slight dent in a 5 power Mane) and very few of them target characters other than Friends. Ocellus can slip by that somewhat easily. And on top of all that, you can’t deny that she’s a cutie. Just look at that adorable smile! She presents you this cupcake as a symbol of your new, staggeringly powerful friendship.

No need to be shy, Ocellus! Honestly, I don’t really find any gaping holes in this card that an opponent can exploit besides dismissing, banishing, and/or frightening any Friends with higher power than cost. Practically all decks deal with that problem. My main issue with Ocellus is kind of a lame one. Compared to other White Manes, she just feels so... average. Don’t get me wrong, a 5 power Mane is pretty sweet, especially if you double that power Immediately. But I’ve tried competitive Ocellus decks in the past. And I find I usually treat the power-doubling ability as an afterthought most of the time. I’m not often in a situation where I’m desperate for one character to have 10 power. The 5 power is usually enough to help me confront any Problems or challenge any Troublemakers (if I would even be doing those things with her in the first place). I guess my struggle here comes from the fact that other White Manes, even if they have less power, can hit opponents so much harder than Ocellus. Sweetie Belle can help recycle Resources. Booming Business somewhat constricts your opponent’s home limit. The new Queen Chrysalis Mane in New Dawn sticks an extra tax on your opponent’s cards. Even Octavia, who was stretching the limits of White’s power long before Ocellus, can spread power across the board, not necessarily in one place. I definitely wouldn’t say Ocellus is the worst White Mane in this aspect. I just feel she doesn’t quite stack up to other White Manes, even if she can get huge.

Here’s a few cards that also know the true value of education:

*Prim Hemline, Runway Judge. It’s one of the original “more-power-than-cost” Friends! Prim nets you a lovely 4 White power for 2 AT and nothing else, though she can’t use that power towards confronting Problems. Even if you can’t do that, you can still get some use out of her by putting that hefty White power towards playing cards with higher White req that you may not normally be able to play, especially in the early game. You could also combine it with a card featured a little later on this list for some more insane power - I can’t even begin to describe the feeling of being faced with a Friend like this whose power is raised phenomenally. I choose this card over the similar Coloratura, Happy Camper because Happy Camper has a few more complexities to her: she requires 1 White req up front (Prim can be played if you don’t have a partially-White Mane) and needs to be Cutie Marked (an additional 2 AT) to access her full power (I’d rather just pay once and save that extra AT for other cards myself).

*Ahuizotl, Book Deal. As you may have expected, I have to talk about an upcoming New Dawn card! This Friend is a little weird since it costs 0 AT and 3 White req for 1 White power, but that price and the power you get for it changes depending on how many points you get. You must pay an additional 1 AT for every 2 points you have rounded down (so if I have 5 points, I’d pay 2 AT since that’d count as 4 points) and gains 1 power for every 2 points you have rounded down. There is one thing that is clear for this, however: its power will always be higher than its printed cost since its printed cost is 0 AT. (Unless, of course, your opponent is using the strategy of reducing your characters’ power... but I can’t remember the last time I saw that used competitively). It’s a pretty funky little card - I have a feeling it’ll be seen a bit on the competitive scene once New Dawn is dropped.

*Clouded by Anger. So what if you can’t easily access a Friend with a cost-to-power ratio like Prim Hemline or Ahuizotl? You could always put a Resource on them to boost their power. White has quite a few Resources that could do this, going all the way back to the Crystal Games, but I nominate Clouded by Anger here since it doesn’t have a set power amount (+1, +2, etc). Instead, it just doubles a Friend’s power while also making them lose any printed abilities! I love how convenient it is - 2 becomes 4, 3 becomes 6, and don’t even get me started on those 6 and 7 power Friends. I find this is a good one to play on Friends that have “when this card enters play” or “when you play this card” abilities, since those can only be activated once. (In the case of “enters play” cards, though, you could always hit it with an Interdimensional Portal or something like that to cause it to reenter play, but if you did that, you’d have to get rid of the Resource.) Regardless, this play is really good and one of my favorite White Resources period. Of all Resources, just beware of the dreaded Resource removal!

*Detective Duds. If Clouded by Anger’s ability loss... ability is a dealbreaker for you but you still want to flex some Resources to gain power, don’t panic! For the same cost, Detective Duds gives a Friend +3 power and the Prepared keyword, which gives you 1 AT when an opponent starts a Faceoff in the Prepared Friend’s area (most likely a Problem). Extra AT is helpful for doubling Ocellus’ power if you’re so inclined (even if I often forgot that ability was there). However, it can also indirectly discourage your opponent from starting Faceoffs if they know you’ll probably use that Prepared AT towards doubling Ocellus, so they may think of other ways to deal with that power. Would I dub it more dangerous than Clouded by Anger? Not necessarily... I’d just still be careful about where you step.

Thanks for reading this installment of Card Shark! I don’t know when the next Shark will be - like I said, the updates will be sporadic once again - but if I can reassure anything, I will say that the next card subject will be a Set 12/New Dawn card! I haven’t decided what it will be yet... you’ll have to come back to see what it is! Until then, Diamond out!

[claennis]

my skincare routine

after eye-makeup removal...

1. innisfree green tea cleansing foam: I’m on my second bottle. I swear by this stuff. since changing my skin routine, I’ve had only about three breakouts in the past year and they were all stress-induced (baby, job, adult life shenanigans, what else).

2a. innisfree green tea seed serum: just started using this after cleansing. it’s refreshing, light and I’m guessing it’s supposed to hydrate my skin. 

2b. scinic snail all-in-one ampoule: boasted to be a combination of essence, toner, moisturizer and booster, I used to apply this after cleansing. it’s sticky for sure but it’s super moisturising...not sure if I really need it in England due to humidity. husband loves it though so money hasn’t been wasted.

3. innisfree green tea balance/fresh cream: first started with balance cream and now trying fresh cream. can’t see a difference on my skin but both keeps it soft and supple.

4. A'PIEU madecassoside needle spot patch: if I do happen to have a breakout, I pop one of these babies on. unfortunately I’m a huge dork and didn’t realise you can peel off the paper part so that it appears clear and invisible on your skin. instead I just went out looking like a dweeb while Evelyn kept poking my face. I’d give it a 6/10 as I only used it once and while I had a remnant of a spot left upon removal, the entirety of the spot disappeared after a day or two. Not too bad but a pack of 10 was like $10 USD...

in the morning, repeat the above but no 2a/2b and my bare basics for everyday purposes:

5. missha M perfect cover BB cream no.23: my old go-to was Clinique primer and even-better foundation but needed something quick and easy. decided to test this one thanks to @jiangdouhong​‘s extensive bb cream review. like her, I despise the dispenser; utterly bonkers of a thing. also, no.23 is too grey for my skin tone but it blends enough to not make a difference. final judgment: will not buy again (despite good price).

6. missha color graph eye pencil rosy bronze: for years, I was a MAC pen-ultimate black liquid eyeliner girl but I needed something less high-maintenance and didn’t fade/smear through the day. I opted for ‘rosy bronze’ which is more of a good ole neutral brown with slight shimmer, barely noticeable to me. it’s a bugger to take off but it’s quick and easy to apply (which is crucial when Evelyn is crawling up my leg). lasts pretty much all day despite me rubbing my eyes (which you shouldn’t do if you wear contacts!)

7. it’s skin strawberry macaron lip balm: tastes like candy; baby girl's eaten some.

[mlseagraves-blog]

In Love and in a Waiting Room

My boyfriend who I love deeply and dearly broke up with me almost 24 hours to the minute from telling me he loved me. It wasn't the first time he told me he loved me, as I’m sure many of you may be thinking when reading that. Yet I still love him like no other. He changed me in so many ways that when ever I put pen to paper to list them out I run out and stumble then I find yet so many other ways he has helped me without even knowing. All which make me love him even more. Which is why I made a decision from the moment I read the text that popped up on my phone and caused me to feel like a rug was taken from under me. I’m praying and seeking God about this. My heart is not broken, it’s bruised. My soul feels sliced at but not fully cut. And every time I come back to I love him. Unconditionally. Just as I told him before my Love isn't dependent on how many times he opens doors for me or how many times he does things for me. It doesn't depend on things at all. I love him and I choose to love him because he’s everything I’ve prayed for. I have literally prayed for him since I was 14 years old and my Jr High teachers in Sunday School  taught us  a lesson on prayer. They taught us that we should pray for our future spouses. That their blessings would be our blessings that their curses and burdens would be our crosses to help carry. I can still remember what seat I was sitting in that little class with the churches original brick wall. I can feel like I’m right back in that moment and the words hitting me deep in my heart. So I prayed starting that very night combining how my Mom taught us kids to pray. I prayed for my future husband mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially. I prayed specifics for what laid on my heart each night different things that he may be going through... I even prayed that God would see fit to help him through the relationships he would have before our relationship. That his heart would be protected and restored. I prayed for protection. For guidance. For Healing. I prayed he’d find me. 

I did investing in my future. Read books, did workbooks, self help, how to be a helpmate , how to be understanding, worked on seeing that my way is not the only way. and through it all I told myself I’m doing each of these things so that I can make myself into the best version of me for my future spouse. I worked hard at school, my job, went for dreams, did things I knew I wouldn't be willing to do as easily once I married because I’m a practical person.

I did things while single because I knew I put others before myself and once I found the right guy I wouldn't put myself first anymore. I would be constantly trying to help him get his goals. Working on OUR couple goals and not my own dreams as much because my priorities would change.

Then a new change happened the elder ladies in my church... well they cornered me one Sunday. They were trying to figure out why I was still single at 21 because to them I should've been married long ago. They asked their questions tied to diagnose and figure out why I was where I was relationship wise with no one in the dating scene... And then one ministers wife popped off with advice that I took to heart though I laughed at first as I always did. She told me Honey you need to be more specific! You need to ask God for specifics even down to his eye color!! So then they began a whole other round of questions! How tall?! Hair color? eye color? teeth? temperament ? finances? brains? what about social dynamic? ministry/calling? I answered them all as much as I could. And then that night I added it to my prayers for my future husband. I prayed he’d have green eyes that sparkle with mischief and wonder. That he’d have dark hair broad shoulders, and strong arms to hug me and make me feel safe. That he would be my height or taller so I would feel like the woman in the relationship. That he’d have a brain that challenged me. Sharp wit that made me laugh like no other, and at times would shock me. I prayed he’d be so big hearted that he’d have to learn to say no. That he’d know the calling on his life, and build a relationship with God that would be on so firm a foundation that I would be inspired by it. I prayed that He would love children as much as I did. That family would come first. I prayed that his family would love me and accept me into their fold. I prayed that he would be stubborn for righteous things. I prayed for those things and so much more over the years... 

And now I found him or rather he found me... I found the man who during our first date my fear blanket of never finding someone who would truly love me for me faults and all left. That I no longer stressed or worried about getting married instead I thought joyfully of the day I would get to rush home and try to have dinner ready before he came in the door. Or the day I would get to surprise him with a loving note in his lunch or coat. Because I love him. I truly love him and he took all my fear away. A fear that had once gripped my soul so tight I would have to literally talk myself down.  A fear that almost claimed my future by me accepting and marrying the wrong person... 

1st John 4:18 New King James Version There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

I love him and I know many will think I’m bonkers and yes I have rambled on because as of right now this is what I can do. But I love him and I pray just as I did when I started to read that text on thursday... I pray God has His will in my life and in this relationship where ever it may turn. Yes we are not together, But God knows what He wants for my life and I truly cannot see this as the end. Because my hearts not broken its bruised and I can’t shake the feeling of being placed in a waiting room. And as I wait I’m going to pray. I pray for wisdom, guidance, not just for me but also for my Ex. That if its Gods will that we are restored then that  we will be made new upon a solid rock foundation that cannot be moved ever again. That doubts are banished. That we are blessed and our future together brings Gods kingdom glory.... I pray many things through out my day. And I’ve asked others to pray with me because I want whats God’s will for the rest of my life! I’ve waited this long I prayed this long and I’ll petition God for help. 

I Love him and I’ll always love him... Unconditionally 

[mustlovetights]

Summer in Savannah

My saltmate is one year older which means gifts of fic must be written! Happy Birthday @wrathofthestag​!!! xoxoxoxo

(Also on AO3)

Savannah had been his mother’s idea.

You’ll love it! She said. There’s so much history—everywhere you look!

Fresh off a disappointing end to the Falconer’s most recent bid for the Stanley, Jack needed to get away. He wasn’t a beach person, although the solitude of a private hut somewhere tropical held its own brand of allure. Europe had been his first choice, somewhere he could blend in, where his face wouldn’t run the risk of recognition, where he could meld into crowds and explore, untethered to the Jack Zimmermann hockey legacy.

Trust me, his mother had laughed. Georgia might as well be another country, and you’ll love the people.

As it turned out, she wasn’t wrong.

His first week was spent in the grand old Kehoe House, chosen not for its prominence on Columbia Square nor for its placement on the Best Inns of Savannah list. No, Jack chose the bed and breakfast entirely because it bore the name of a retired Canadian hockey player.

Maman said at least he was predictable.

The inn was a good fit, as it turned out. There were no dainty settees or lace appointed windows—or at least none that Jack had seen. No, his room was darkly masculine, with deep mustard walls and richly polished oak floors. The bed was big enough he could roll around all night and never quite reach the edge.

Too bad you have no one to roll into… said Maman.

At least you’re predictable, said Jack.

She had texted him the names of several Savannah nightlife hot spots in return.

He stuck to daytime activities, though, combing the city in larger concentric circles, learning its name, its feel, its history. Acclimating to the slow boil of its heat and the sweet sultriness of its summer scent. The food was strictly off his diet plan; he ate it with gusto.

The people were charming and kind with wide smiles and slow, rolling accents and Jack had next to no idea what they were saying more than half the time. But they seemed to love his dimples and his biceps and the careful way he considered their wares, their houses, their history. It was a summer love affair of the slow burning kind, and by the end of week two, Jack was considering real estate prices over his morning coffee.

It was just such a curiosity that had landed him in his current predicament, seated on a stainless steel hospital table, awaiting stitches for the spectacular gash along the base of his thumb.

He had sent Mrs. Beetlemeir, his real estate agent, out to the waiting room where she could flutter and coo with abandon, rather than continue to drive him bonkers cooped up in the tiny enclosure. He appreciated her sincere distraught, and her quick thinking when he had picked a fight with an unruly and rusty iron gate—and lost. But he preferred the peace of solitude, even now. The pain had been something of a wakeup call and Jack felt for all the world as though the last few weeks had been something out of a dream. A feverish, catfish-laden, sweet tea-drowning dream. He studied the delicate handkerchief tied around his hand, his blood staining the sprigs of embroidered violets dark red. He would have to buy Mrs. Beetlemeir a new hanky.

Lost in thought about the exact nature of procuring delicate embroidered handkerchiefs, Jack jumped when the door was flung open and a white-coated—and startlingly handsome—figure appeared in the opening.

“Mr. Zimmermann.” The man quickly scanned the chart in his hand and then looked up with a smile. “Welcome to Savannah.”

Jack snorted. “Thanks. It hasn’t been, uh,” he waved his hanky-wrapped hand. “Dull.”

The nurse grinned and tossed the chart onto the bed beside him. “All right, let’s see the damage.”

He was small, his head just shy of level with a seated Jack, his palm warm where it gently gripped Jack’s wrist. He tutted under his breath when he peeled away the hanky. “You probably doomed a perfectly fine old gate.”

It took Jack a moment to register the words; there was a soft curl of dark blond hair tickling his chin and it smelled faintly of honey and sunshine.

“Huh?”

The man glanced up, close enough Jack could count the freckles sprinkling across the bridge of his nose.

“What did that poor old gate ever do to you? Minding its own business. Protecting its yard from intruders. And Yankees.” He sniffed and went back to prodding Jack’s hand. “The new owner will likely tear it down now, replace it with one of those ugly chain length monstrosities. Viciously murdering the gorgeous aesthetic of an heirloom Southern rose garden. And—”

“I’m not tearing down the gate.” Jack breathed in deep; was it creepy if he sniffed his nurse? He smelled good enough to eat. It wasn’t just honey—was that cinnamon? Donuts? Something with buttery cream—

“What do you mean you won’t be tearing it down?”

Those deep brown eyes were glaring at Jack now, a little bit of color blossoming in the sharp cut of his cheekbones, and Jack felt a stirring in the region of his groin. Uh oh. “I, um. I’m buying it.”

The nurse blinked. “You’re buying that big old Second Empire on Taylor.”

Jack blinked back. “Yes.” Mrs. B must have been very thorough in her description at admission; Jack had all but tuned her out, her chattering like the low humming buzz of a bee.

The glare softened, just a bit, and went back to studying Jack’s hand. “You’re going to need stitches. Six—maybe seven.”

Jack leaned forward and tried to inhale without being obvious. Pancakes? “Shouldn’t we wait for the doctor?”

“Okay.”

Jack’s hand was promptly released.

They stared at one another for a beat, brown eyes on blue, and Jack fought the urge to squirm under a rather obvious and lingering onceover. He hadn’t given much thought to his attire when he ventured out that morning with Mrs. B, worried more about the heat than his appearance, but right now he was very aware that his faded Falconer’s tank top left very little to the imagination. He smiled slowly, feeling bold. He was on vacation, after all. “You want to lose the coat while we wait?” He squinted at the nurse’s nametag. “Bittle? Fair’s fair.”

The little fucker didn’t even have the grace to be embarrassed at being called out, pursing his lips and opening his palm. “Give me your hand, Zimmermann.” Jack tensed when strong fingers closed around his wrist again, but Bittle was surprisingly gentle. He spoke slowly and succinctly, looking Jack right in the eye. “You need six stitches. Maybe seven.”

Jack prided himself on being a learned man, but it took him a very long moment to catch up. “Wait—you’re the doctor?” His mouth worked. “How old are you?”

“Old enough to know better than to take my coat off for a pretty face,” Bittle muttered, running his thumb along Jack’s wrist. He smirked at the fluttering pulse under his finger. “You feeling all right Mr. Zimmermann?”

Jack inhaled sharply. Scones? “I feel fine. I feel—” And here’s the thing: Jack wasn’t afraid of hospitals. Playing a lifetime of hockey, he had been nicked, stitched, poked, and stuck more times than he could count. But this was entirely different. His doctor was hotter than the sun, possibly flirting, and smelled like something Jack would pour maple syrup all over and eat for breakfast.

Jack wanted to eat his doctor and he was one thousand percent sure that wasn’t OSHA permissible. He was suddenly lightheaded, slammed with the most vibrant shade of pure lust he’d ever known. He planted his good hand on the steel bed and fought to steady himself. “Are all southern doctors like you?” He asked, just shy of grabbing his heart. Or Bittle’s ass.

“Nope.” Bittle’s grin was smug. “You’re just that damn lucky, I guess.” He turned away and began to rummage through the cabinets over an adjacent sink. He pulled out a tray and added dressings and a suture kit and bottles of liquid the likes of which Jack was pretty certain would feel like fire on contact. Then he shrugged off his coat (with a bawdy wink), rolled up the sleeves of his perfectly tailored pale pink buttondown, and went to work cleaning Jack’s wound.

The whole process stung like a motherfucker, and with each of Jack’s hissing curses, Bittle murmured silly platitudes like there there boo boo and what a big boy you are! Jack wanted to smack him. And kiss him. But mostly he wanted to get his hands on his tight little hips and grind him into the wall to relieve the godawful pressure mounting in his dick—what kind of doctor wore jeans that tight anyway?!

And he smelled like motherfucking cheese Danish!

At the first prick of needle, Jack decided the south was hugely overrated. 

He was eventually left to sulk, alone (with his seven stitches), while Dr. Bittle (!) finished Jack’s chart at the nurses station and wrote him a script for painkillers and antibiotics. (For prophylactic purposes, Bittle had added, tongue wholly in cheek).

When he returned, hair perfect, eyes sparkling, lips unkissed, Jack stood with a scowl. 

Before he even got a word out, Bittle popped a pill between his lips and shoved a paper Dixie cup of water in his good hand. “Drink that, Zimmermann, and meet me in the parking lot in twenty. I know a lobster with your name on it.”

He was gone with a wink and a whiff of poundcake.

Jack stared at the door until the pill began to dissolve on his tongue, leaving a strong bitter aftertaste that he chased away with the water.

He crumpled the cup and tossed it in the trash, mouth splitting wide in a grin.

On second thought, maybe the south wasn’t so bad after all.

[jackybooks]

Stephen King - On Writing | A Memoir on the Craft

Stephen King - On Writing | A Memoir on the Craft

I believe large numbers of people have at least some talent as writers and storytellers, and that those talents can be strengthened and sharpened. If I didn’t believe that, writing a book like this would be a waste of time

V.C.

There were more doors than one person could ever open in a lifetime, I thought (and still think) - “endless possibilities of life”

By the time I was fourteen, the nail in my wall would no longer support the height of the rejection slips impaled upon it, I replaced the nail with a spike and went on writing.

I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction and poetry who has ever published a line has been accused of someone of wasting his or her god-given talent. if you write(or paint/dance/sculpt/sing), someone will make you feel lousy about it, that’s all.

Mindset of writing

If stone sober people can fuck like they’re out of their minds - can actually be out of their minds while caught in that throe - why shouldn’t writers be able to go bonkers and still stay sane.

Writing is a lonely job, having someone who believes in you makes a lot of difference. They don’t have to make speeches, just believing is usually enough.

Stopping a piece of your work just because it’s hard, either emotionally or imaginatively, is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it, and sometimes you’re doing good work when it feels like all you’re managing is to shovel shit in a sitting position.

I’m convinced that fear is at the root of most bad writing

Toolbox

Vocabulary

It ain’t how much you got, honey, its how you use it.

Put your vocabulary on the top shelf, and don’t make any conscious effort to improve it.

Use the first word that comes to mind, if it’s appropriate and colorful.

Concision

"My first kiss will always be recalled by me as how my romance with Shayna was begun"

"My romance with Shayna began with our first kiss. I'll never forget it”

You might also notice how much simpler the thought is to understand when it's broken up into two thoughts. This makes matters easier for the reader, and the reader must always be your main concern;

Adverbs

To write adverbs is human, to write he said or she said is divine.

On Writing

Good writing consist of mastering the fundamentals (vocabulary, grammar, the elements of style)

Reading

To be a good writer, you must read a lot and write a lot. You cannot hope to sweep someone else away by force of your writing until it has been done to you. If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have time(or the tools) to write, simple as that.

The real importance of reading is it created an ease and intimacy with the process of writing; one comes to the country of the writer with one’s papers and identification pretty much in order.

Once weaned for the ephemeral craving for TV, most people will find they enjoy the time they spend reading. I’d like to suggest that turning off that endlessly quacking box is apt to improve the quality of your life as well as the quality of your writing.

We read to experience the mediocre and the outright rotten; such experience helps us recognize those things when they begin to creep into our own work, and to steer clear of them.

You learn the best by reading a lot and writing a lot, and the most valuable lessons of all are the ones you teach yourself.

You must begin by being your biggest advocate, which means reading the magazines and publishing the kind of stuff you write.

Write with the door closed, rewrite with the door open

When you write, you want to get rid of the world, do you not? Of course you do, when you’re writing, you’re creating your own worlds.

Your stuff starts out being just for you, in other words, but then it goes out. Once you know what the story is and get it right - as right as you can, anyway - it belongs to anyone who reads it.

The place can be humble(probably should be. and it really one u needs one thing: a door which you are willing to shut. The closed door is your day of telling the world you mean business; you have made a serious commitment to write and intend to walk the walk as well as talk the talk.

But you need the room, you need the door, and you need the determination to shut the door. You need a concrete goal, as well. The longer you keep to these basics, the easier the act of writing will become.

If you're a beginner though, let me urge that you take your story through at least 2 drafts; the one with the door closed, the one you do with it open…

Keep the door closed

There comes a point when you want to show what you're doing to a close friend, either because you're proud of what you're doing or because you're doubtful about it. My best advice is to resist this impulse. Keep the pressure one; don't lower it by exposing what you've written to the doubt, the praise, or even the well-meaning questions of someone from the Outside World. Let your hope of success(and your fear of failure) carry you on, difficult as that can be. There'll be time to show off what you've done when you finish... but even after finishing I think you must be cautious and give yourself a chance to think while the story is still like a field of freshly fallen snow, absent of any tracks save your own.

Here's something else - if no ones says yo you, this is wonderful! you are a lot less apt to slack off or to start concentrating on the wrong thing.. being wonderful, for instance, instead of telling the goddam story.

You've done a lot of work and you need a period of time to rest. Your mind and imagination - two things which are related, but not really the same - have to recycle themselves. My advice is you take a couple days off - go fishing, and then work on something else, something shorter, preferably and something that's a complete changer directions and pace from your newly finished book.

Resist temptation, you'll very likely decide you didn't do as well on that passage as you thought and you'd better retool it on the spot. This is bad. The only thing worse would be for you to decide the passage is even better than you remembered - why not drop everything and read the whole book over right then? Get back to work on it! Hell, you're ready! You're fuckin Shakespeare!

After 6 weeks - Revising/Rewriting

If you've never done it before, you'll find reading your book over after a six week layoff to be a strange, often exhilarating experience, It's yours, you'll recognize it as yours, even be able to remember what tune was on the stereo when you wrote certain lines, and yet it will also be like reading the work of someone else, a soul-twin, perhaps. This is the way it should be, the reason you waited. It's always easier to kill someone else's darlings than it is to kill your own.

With 6 weeks of time, you'll also be able to see nay glaring holes in the plot of character development. I'm talking about holes big enough to drive a truck through. And listen, if you spot a few of these big holes, you are forbidden to feel depressed about them or beat up on yourself. Screw-ups happen to the best of us,

When reading your own draft - only god gets it right the first time and only a slob says "oh well, let it go, that's what copyeditors are for”

I love this part of the process because I'm re-discoverying my own book, and usually liking it.

Underneath, I'm asking myself the big question: Is this story coherent? What I want most of all is resonance, something that will linger for a little while in Constant Reader's mind and heart.

Most of all, I'm looking for what I meant.

The forumla for revision

2nd draft = 1st draft - 10%

When to open the door

Someone once said - All novels are really letters aimed at one person. At various points, the author is thinking, "I wonder what he/she will think when he/she reads this part?"

And if what you hear makes sense, then you make the changes. You can't let the whole world into your story, but you can let in the ones that matter the most. And you should.

Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scrubber's heart, kill your darlings

What to write about

The big question - what are you going to write about? And the equally big answer, Anything you damn well want. Anything at all, as long as you tell the truth.

What would be very wrong, I think, is to turn away form what you know and like or love, in favor of things you believe will impress your friends, relatives, and writing circle colleagues.

When I'm asked why I decided to write the sort of thing I do write, I always think the question is more revealing than any answer I can possibly give. Wrapped within it, like the chewy stuff in the center of a Tootsie Pop, is the assumption that the writer controls the material instead to the other way around. "The book is the boss”

What you know makes you unique in some other way. Be brave.

If you’re a lawyer, your story about lets say lawyers & gangs whatever will be very good because its grounded on experience and truth.

Structures of Writing

Stories and novels consist of 3 parts - Narration, Description and Dialogue.

Narration Moves the story from point A to B, and finally point Z

Description Creates a sense of reality for the reader.

Small example -

The cab pulled up in front of Palm Too at quarter to four on a bright summer afternoon. Billy paid the driver, stepped out onto the sidewalk, and took a quick look around for Martin. Not in sight. Satisfied, Billy went inside.

After the hot clarity of Second Avenue, Palm Too was as dark as a cave. The backbar mirror picked up some of the street-glare and glimmered in the gloom like a mirage. For a moment it was all Billy could see, and then his eyes began to adjust. There were a few solitary drinkers at the bar. beyond them, the matire d’, his tie undone and his shirt cuffs rolled back to show his hairy wrists, was talking with the bartender. There was still sawdust sprinkled on the floor, Billy noted, as if this were a twenties speakeasy instead of a millennium eatery where you couldn’t smoke, let alone spit a gob of tobacco between your feet. And the cartoons dancing across the walls - gossip-column caricatures of downtown political hustlers, newsmen who had long since retired or drunk themselves to death, celebrities you couldn’t recognize - still gambolled all the way to the ceiling. The air was redolent of steak and fried onions. All of it the same as it ever was

The maitre d’ stepped forward. “Can I help you, sir?” We don’t open for dinner until six, but the bar -

“I’m looking for Richie Martin,” Billy said.

If you want to be a successful writer, you must be able to describe it, and in a way that will cause your reader to pickle with recognition. When it's on target, a smile delights us in much the same way meeting an old friend in a crowd of strangers does. By comparing two seemingly unrelated objects - a restaurant bar and a cave, a mirror and a mirage - we are sometimes able to see an old thing in a new and vivid way.

Practice the art, always reminding yourself that your job is to say what you see, and then to get on with your story.

Dialogue What brings the characters to life through their speech

And the cardinal rules of good fiction is never tell us a thing if you can show us, instead. "Annie seems particularly happy that day" If I have to tell you, I lose.

Dialogue is a skill best learned by people who enjoy talking and listening to others - particularly listening.

Some people don't want to hear the truth, of course, but that's not your problem. If you expect it to ring true, then you must talk yourself. Even more important, you must shut up and listen to others talk

I think the best stories always end up being about the people rather than the event, which is to say character-driven.

Every character you create, is partly you.

Practice is invaluable(and should feel good, really not like practice at all) and that honesty is indispensable. Skills in description, dialogue and character development all boil down to seeing or hearing clearly and then transcribing what you see or hear with equal clarity.

Good fiction always begins with story and progresses to them it almost never begins with theme and progresses to story.

~~Plot?~~ I won't try to convince you I never plotted like I never told a lie, but I do both as infrequently as possible. I distrust plot for 2 reasons.

Because of our lives are largely plotless, even when you add in all our reasonable precautions and careful planning;

I believe plotting and the spontaneity of real creation aren't compatible.

My basic belief about the making of stories is that they are pretty much make themselves. The job of the writer is to give them a place to grow.

Plot, I think, the good writer's last resort and dullard's first choice. The story which results form it is apt to feel artificial and labored. I never demand a set of characters that they do things my way. On the contrary, I want them to do things their way

Most of the ideas come from "situations" - what if vampires did this what if what if

these are all situations which occurred to me - while showing, while driving, while taking my daily walk

I believe stories are found things, like fossils in the ground, he said that he didn’t believe me. I said that’s fine, as long as he believe that I believe it. Stories are relics, part of an undiscovered pre-existing world. The writers job is to use the tools in his or her toolbox to get as much of each one out of the ground intact as possible.

Why Write

I did it for the buzz, I did the for the pure joy of the thing, and if you can do it for joy, you can do it forever

Writing did not save my life - but it has continued to do what it always has done: it makes may life a brighter and more pleasant place.

Writing isn't about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends, In the end, it's about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It's about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy.

The rest of it - and perhaps the best of it - is a permission slip: you can, you should, and if you're brave enough to start, you will. Writing is magic, as much as the water of life as any other creative art, The water is free, So drink, drink and be filled up

Talent renders the whole idea of rehearsal meaningless; when you find something at which you are talented, you do it(whatever it is) until your fingers bleed or your eyes are ready to fall out of your head. Even when no one is listening(or reading/watching), every outing is bravado performance, because you as the creator are happy.

If God gives you something you can do, why in God’s name wouldn’t you do it.

Quotes [No theme]

"there's just enough of me left inside to know that I am globally, perhaps even galactically, fucked up.”

"and telling an alcoholic to control his drinking is like telling a guy suffering the world's most cataclysmic case of diarrhea to control his shitting”

The work starts to feel like work, and for most writers that is the smooch of death. Writing is at its best - always, always, always - when it is a kind of inspired play for the writer. I can write in cold blood if I have to, but I like it best when its fresh and almost too hot to handle.

Remember you are writing a novel, not a research paper, the story always comes first.

It seems to occur to few of the attendees that if you have a feeling you just can't describe, you might just be, I don't know, kind of like, my sense of it is, maybe in the wrong fucking class.

“One word at a time”

[mrmichaelchadler]

Translating into Poetry: Boots Riley on Sorry to Bother You

A cultural hit ever since its first showing at last January’s Sundance Film Festival, Boots Riley’s enigmatic “Sorry to Bother You” is now a blockbuster for those who crave explosive ideas, as articulated by off-the-wall filmmaking. Lakeith Stanfield stars as Cassius “Cash” Green in the film, playing an average guy that we all recognize: someone working a crummy job, in this case in telemarketing, just to pay the bills, while society at large continues to crumble piece by piece, everyday. As one of many employees of color being exploited for their labor, Cash starts to advance beyond his peers when he’s advised by a co-worker (Danny Glover) to use his “white voice” when making his calls. 

The breakthrough sets off a bonkers tale of Cash’s ascension through a cruel capitalist system that dehumanizes lower-level employees and customers alike, while freer spirits such as his radical artist girlfriend Detroit (Tessa Thompson) and unionizing co-worker Squeeze (Steven Yeun) fight back against their not-so-far-off dystopia. Offering plenty of riffs about about capitalism, race, entertainment and so much more with sci-fi, horror and comedy rhythms, Riley’s film defies convention as much as it does a mere plot synopsis.

The film is Boots Riley’s first as a feature writer and director, but as he tells me in this interview, it doesn’t come from a place too different than that of his songwriting. His band The Coup had been his previous main artistic outlet, a group that takes a similar kitchen sink perspective by blending funk, hip-hop, punk and pop for songs that equally defy categorization and the powers that be, and are filled with lyrics of a visual quality. Before "Sorry to Bother You" was a feature film, it was also the basis of a 2012 album by The Coup that comes highly-recommended. 

On the morning of the film’s official release, RogerEbert.com spoke to Riley about some of the nuts and bolts in constructing the movie, the time that Taco Bell wanted to buy one of his songs, bending the reality in his storytelling and more. 

The first time this was shown at Sundance. What was the moment you felt people got it, or were on the same wavelength as you? 

Dude, I don’t know. I wasn’t present. It was nerve-wracking, you know. I’m used to performance, where you can say, “Ok we need more energy for this crowd,” or "let’s cut to the bridge. Here’s a song we’re going to play next." I was sitting there, I was physically tense, my muscles were … I had never done that performance wise. I can kind of now remember, “Oh, people were laughing at this part” but it felt bad [laughs]. After that screening, though, and seeing the Q&A, kind of let me know how people were feeling and in a bit more detail. Then all of the screenings of that during Sundance were a lot easier. 

Is there any similar creative aspect to writing a catchy song with writing a scene? 

For me, often I am translating—when I’m writing songs—I’m translating scenes, things that happened in real life, things that I’m picturing that I’m translating those things into poetry. For me, it was just getting rid of one. 

They feed off each other? 

Throughout my whole career of writing songs, I’m picturing things like scenes, and even when it’s not a story song, I’m picturing, “What is the poetry, what is the meaning behind this idea or this thing that’s in the real world?” So this felt like I didn’t have to do any translating. I can imagine this thing. It was a lot easier for me to write a screenplay than it was to write songs. 

I can’t think of many musicians-turned-filmmakers who would say that. 

I do quite think a lot of people don’t put a lot of effort into writing songs as I do [laughs]. 

You’ve always been a storyteller. 

Not always. Some of them aren’t storytelling. But, it’s about, with songs you’re dealing with getting to the essence of something, striking upon something new that illuminates. You’re also dealing with identity, because how people listen to it is like, “This is me, this is my song.” You’re dealing with all of these things that I don’t have to deal with when writing a screenplay. 

How precise is your visual planning when it comes to filmmaking? 

So much of it is in the script. And then what wasn’t in the script, I storyboarded a lot of the stuff out. However, we didn’t use any of that. During the director’s labs, I started learning my lesson. One example is, I originally had for the opening interview scene, I had this whole storyboard and diagram set up where it would be a figure-eight around Cassius and Anderson. We were going to start on Anderson’s face, and then go around his head and reveal Cassius for the first time, and then go around his head, etc. 

That’s a crazy move. 

Yeah, I was like, this is going to be my calling card. I’m this new director in town, that sort of a thing. And the week that I was gonna shoot that thing in the labs, [“The Wolf of Wall Street” cinematographer] Rodrigo Prieto was one of the advisors. So when we got there, I had shown him—I had spent all of these years preparing this movie, and I had all of these things done out on a book. And I go up to him thinking, he’s gonna love me. So I show him this crazy move, and he’s like, “Oh, wow, OK. I can’t wait to see you do that.” [laughs] 

So I’m talking to him about it throughout the week, excitedly, and then at Sundance you get to rehearse the day before you shoot. And so it was clear right away that we were going to miss people’s faces at the right times, it was just going to lose so much of the energy from that, and it was going to distract. So I threw the idea out, and when I saw Rodrigo I was like, “Hey, you know we're not going to do that move tomorrow.” And he was like, “Well, I’m going to have to insist that you do it. You’re right, but, you’re gonna have to do it because the risk is that if you don’t do it here, you might try it when you try to shoot the movie. And so you’ve been talking about it all of this time, you’re gonna need to prove it to yourself because you might leave here unsatisfied, and you might think it’s because, ‘Oh, I didn’t do do that thing.’” 

Was that humbling? 

I don’t know if humbling, but it made sense. Well, besides that, there’s so much you can get from the actors doing their thing, and figuring stuff out that changes how you might shoot a scene. You can have a prepared thing, and get the actors to fit into the boxes that you want. But it’s not going to be better than playing it off the performance, and let the performance lead. 

Compared to music, how do you feel filmmaking works when it comes to autonomy? 

Well, you’re working with less people with music. This is like, I’m talking to the production designer, and I’m like, “I want to do this to this room,” and he’s like, “Well. Here’s how much time that will take.” [laughs] 

As a story you’ve been working on for so long, how immediately did the title come to you? f

I think it came in after I wrote the first scene. At some point it was called something really indie sounding, like “Little Victories,” I think. Then this was something that I felt not only fit what was happening and had other meanings, but sounded broad, and kind of sounded like a Judd Apatow title, or something like that. 

How much of you can we see in Cassius? 

I wrote all of these characters as pieces of me. There’s the artist, there’s the organizer, there’s the guy trying to make funny quips, and then there’s the guy trying to make his life mean something. 

Have you ever encountered the idea of selling out? 

It’s always … well, I don’t know what that actually means. But there are always choices I have had to make around what I will and won’t do for money. Like, Taco Bell wanted our song “Magic Clap.” They were so sure that we were going to do it that they made the commercial before they asked us—part of their presentation was the commercial they had made [laughs]. And it was like, even with that it was going to be THE song. I wouldn’t have been able to perform it without anyone thinking about Taco Bell. 

Were you thinking about that when you were writing this movie? 

That was for “Magic Clap,” so I already had this movie. But many other things like that have come up. We’ve turned down money. 

I'm very curious if there were any ideas that you didn’t get into the script. 

You see, my writing style is, I move up a little bit at a time, I move up and go back a little bit. I’m not just like ... [gibberish sound]. 

But there’s so much going on with the story. 

All of the weird things that are in there are needed. I didn’t set out to write something with all of these fantastical or absurdist elements. It was just, as I went along, I realized that … part of my writing process is to parse out what ideas of the world I have that are given to me from other people’s artwork. So like, for instance, the noon-time cafe date. Why is that in so many people’s movies? I’ve never had a noon-time cafe date. But it gets in so many movies, because in someone’s head they’re like, “Oh, they have to meet!” Or they’re going to go on a date, and it’s a noontime cafe date. But it’s been in other movies, and that’s where it comes from. It’s not from their real life. 

And so, with songs I’ve always liked to, that’s how you avoid cliches, to think about what you really think about the world, to think about what you really think about that subject. And for me, a lot of it when I think about something has to do with the context. And so, the context of that action in the world are something larger, things that are thoughts. How are you going to get that in there, are you going to have voiceover with what someone’s thinking, or someone is going to say what they’re thinking? It’s going to be pretty cliche. So what I realized is my way of context is to bend the reality of what is happening, because then it brings this idea. 

How did this inform the biggest turn in the third act (which I won’t spoil)?

So, as I went along, it was things that were needed. At certain points it would be like, “I want us to be going through this as well. So how do I visually make the audience feel like they’re going through what he’s going through?” And so these were things that I felt were needed, like how do I make this urgent. I really needed him to see himself. I wrote the rap performance, and then I was like, that doesn’t make sense in the context of … he’s in this world where there’s chattel slavery and people are accepting it, and he’s selling them. Why would that change his mind? I realized that I’ve created this big world, and for it to be realistic to me, it needed something that shook him to his mortal core, that was so out of where we were, that it made sense. 

The absurdity makes sense, and it’s interesting that it’s not where you start. It’s kind of crazy backwards, in the best way. 

You see, I don’t know how anyone else did it. 

As someone who has had the spirit of this movie in you so long, across different mediums, what keeps you believing in the idea of protest, rebelliousness? 

Well, I see it. West Virginia teachers just shut down the whole state. A couple years ago, Wal-Mart workers went on strike and were met with militia. There’s rebellion going on, people are doing stuff, they’re trying. The object of the news is to put all of these problems out there like, blah blah blah, and there’s no analysis to it. There’s no analysis of how the economic system works, and which is what’s making all of these things happen. It puts it all into, “This personality did this, and they’re crazy.” And “This personality did that.” It makes it be this jumble of bad noise, and I think having this analysis of the way the system works. 

Does that mean better journalism? Or more overall discussion? 

It means a class analysis, that shows what the primary contradiction in this system is, and what that primary contradiction boils down to is the exploitation of labor. Knowing that contradiction gives you the insight of how things can change. 

from All Content https://ift.tt/2KUdeOm