#I wish I could throw trophies at you but for now I’ll hype you up like ro hypes rafa | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bananxjin · 3 years

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Trophy Wife || 8

↦ Coworker!Seokjin x Reader

↦ WC: 8,729

↦ Drama || Angst || Fluff || Slow Burn

↦ Trigger Warnings: One night stand/Light smut in the beginning, Reader cries a lot, Mentions of past abuse, Swearing

↦ Tagged: @lysannnnaa, @vanillanjin

↦ Summary: You thought you knew what you wanted – You were sure you knew what you wanted. You thought the be-all and end-all was a loving, domestic marriage with your fiance, Touru Kim; the love of your life, the future father of your children, and the man of your dreams, but things happen. Events begin to unfold, and the relationship falls apart. You see the true colors of your husband-to-be, and you realize that maybe he’s not what you built him up to be. With everything laid out in front of you, you knew the be-all and end-all was a loving, domestic marriage.

Just not with Touru.

✨ Masterlist ✨

Early November…

Usually, this was Jin’s most favorite time of year.

Usually.

When the time has finally come for the air to cool down and he can break out all his favorite sweaters. The way there were leaves in varying shades of reds and yellows littering the ground. Or how all the delicious holiday foods were back in season and it was finally justifiable for the apartment to smell like cinnamon and toasted marshmallows. In many ways, Jin believed he romanticised this special time of year.

But for now, things would be a little different. A little more stressful. With Yoongi leaving in another year's time, he and Hobi had no choice but to start looking for their own places since this apartment was way too expensive for the two of them, and they weren’t really interested in rooming with someone who wasn’t Yoongi.

Jin was lucky enough to find the place that he did. Sure, he still had nearly an hour's worth of driving to his second job, but this place was perfect in every other aspect. He’d be a fool to pass up on it. Yoongi and Hobi were ecstatic when they’d heard he signed for it earlier this week, and insisted they all went out to celebrate.

It took some convincing, mostly because it meant Jin would be passing up a bartending shift, but he’d caved in the end. There was some unnecessary debate about where they’d be going to celebrate because Jin already knew the one place that’d stand out above all the others.

HI-Lites.

It was HI-Lites everytime no matter what. It seemed to be the only decent bar within a twenty mile radius. He didn’t mean to complain or seem ungrateful. HI-Lites created a lovely atmosphere for all who visited with vibrant music mixed with the softened glow of neon lights. Velvety plush booths and a stainless steel countertop which the bartender always swore up and down was so clean you could eat off it.

Jin never attempted to.

Not to mention, 90% of the patrons were regulars. It might as well have been its own little community with the way everyone practically knew one another. It certainly wasn’t uncommon to run into an old friend or even a colleague some nights. There were plenty of reasons for HI-Lites to be their favorite bar, but Jin just wasn’t in the partying spirit tonight.

In fact, Jin would argue that he’d been going out of his way to ignore this place ever since he ran into you and your friend that night. He couldn’t help but now associate the establishment with the vivid memory of you looking like something that’d just stepped out of a dream. He caught himself a couple times taking glimpses up towards the bar just hoping he’d spot your figure sitting up there once again, but to no avail.

He felt guilty. Here his friends had been hyping him up all week long and made time in their schedules to spend this time with him, but all he could think about was you. His eyes and his heart would only search for you.

Although it wasn’t like Jin’s crush was a secret in this household. No, his friends were quick to pick up on his little crush and seized every opportunity to tease him about it. That was at least until they realized how familiar the situation seemed to his previous one. Then they changed their tune real quick.

They’d talked to him about it on several occasions, reminding how broken up he’d been over Her, and they didn’t want him to make the same mistake twice. He lost count of how many times they’ve had this conversation. How many times he’s stressed to them that it won’t happen this time. Because even if he did have a chance, he knew you’d never be the type to play such twisted games to get one over on your partner. Or rather, an ex-partner.

“Hi boys!”

“Hi, Mina!” Echoed Yoongi and Hobi’s response in a light chorus.

She smiled, eyeing Jin for a moment longer than she did the others. “Haven’t seen you three in awhile! What’s going on?” She asked, sliding into the rounded booth right beside Hobi. Yoongi, having noticed Jin’s spacey stare, gave a sharp kick to his shin beneath the table.

“Why don’t you tell her, Jin?” Yoongi quipped, giving him a sickly sweet smile. Immediately, Mina’s curious eyes found him.

“Oh? Tell me what?” Jin cleared his throat. “Uhm. We’re celebrating.” He responded vaguely, reaching down to rub his still very sore leg.

“I signed a lease for my own apartment, and I’ll be moving in come the new year.” At this, Mina’s face lit up with her full smile and rounded cheeks. “Wow, that sounds wonderful! I’m so happy for you!” She giggled.

“Let me buy your next drink, yeah? Just a little something to congratulate you with?” She offered. “Oooh, we should all do a round of shots!” Hobi added, giddy at the thought of free drinks.

“I don’t know, gang…” Jin shied away. “Shots sound like a great idea! Any preferences?”

After deciding they’d leave the decision up to her, Mina disappeared into the crowd with a promise of bringing back more alcohol.

“Dude!” Hobi blurted once she was out of ear shot. “Are you fucking blind? Why do you always try to push her away?”

“I’m not trying to do anything.” Jin retorted.

Okay. That might’ve been a lie. It’s no secret that Mina liked him. Every Time she’s caught him here, she’d do everything short of throwing herself into his arms. Anything just to get even an ounce of his attention.

This wasn’t even the first time she’s offered to buy his drink, and she was always flirting with him. It’s been this way for as long as he can remember. And while Jin’s flattered, he’s just never been as interested in her as she was him.

“Ya know,” Yoongi interjected, throwing back the rest of his whiskey. “Your personalities actually match really well. I think you two could really hit it off if you’d just give her a chance.”

Jin rolled his eyes and leaned back into the velvet booth, wondering what he should say this time. Which excuse would he use to worm his way out of this conversation? His friends had been trying to push him into Mina’s arms for the last couple of months. Even more-so now that they knew he needed to get over you, but he was more concerned with hurting her. There was no doubt they’d probably have a lovely relationship, if only Jin just felt the same way…

“Maybe a night alone with Mina is just what you need to get over you-know-who.” Hobi winked. “You can say her name.” Jin tsked. “It’s not like talking about her will-”

“Here we are!” Mina interrupted as she haphazardly placed four shots on the table. “Sorry it took so long! I wanted to let the girls know what was going on.”

“Oh, we didn’t mean to take you away from your friends.” Yoongi frowned. “Hey, what if we moved up to the bar instead?”

“Ooh, yeah! Then it’d be a real celebration!” Hobi laughed. Mina hummed, “They’d be more than happy to celebrate with you guys! But I think I’ll leave the decision up to the man of the hour.”

All eyes were on him now, eagerly awaiting his answer. Was Mina offering him a way out? He really didn’t feel like it was fair for Yoongi to make such a suggestion, not like that mattered now.

“C’mon, Jin!” Whaddya say?” Hobi begged. Jin’s nervous gaze shuffled between the three of them until finally locking eye contact with Mina.

A night to forget about (Y/n)…

Your friends are right; you never really did give Mina a chance. And it’s not like you’re locked into anything, just…

Talk to her.

Mina smiled shyly and tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. Obviously feeling flustered from holding Jin’s gaze for so long.

“Okay.”

And so the trio followed Mina back to her spot where three other ladies were waiting. Jin recognized them, but he couldn’t place any names to any faces.

Jin was sat right beside Mina, and it didn’t take long for their conversation to divulge from the others. Mina had finally gotten her wish. With Yoongi and Hobi preoccupied with her friends, she’d finally had Jin to herself. The conversation flowed easily between them. They talked almost like they were friends long ago and were finally getting the chance to catch up.

Jin was nervous at first as memories of you still lingered in the back of his mind, but as the night went on, those memories became nothing more than a fleeting thought. Jin was finally giving himself permission to let loose a little bit.

One beer turned into two. Then three. Another round of shots just for fun. Maybe one more after that because it tasted pretty good and Jin wanted to savor it this time. He was starting to forget why he’d been so depressed when he’d gotten here earlier. Eventually, the two started a drinking game. He couldn’t quite recall why or even what the rules were, but he was having fun nonetheless.

Then Mina was pulling him onto the dance floor. Her arms were around his neck, and his around her waist. Her fingers tousled at the hair on the nape of his neck, and it was turning him on.

Slowly. Ever so slowly, time had begun to escape Jin. He took a small peek over his shoulder just to make sure his friends were still there, but Mina’s warm hands found his cheeks just in time to bring his attention back to her.

The rest of the world felt so far away. Almost like they were in their own little bubble. Even his own voice was beginning to sound like gibberish in his ears, and he wondered if he was actually doing anything or if he was standing off in the background, watching somebody else have fun.

He had to blink a couple of times. No, he was sure every experience he was having was his own. Clearly some part of his brain was still high functioning. He could only see Mina. The way he was making her laugh at something he’d said. The way they were flirting with light touches and eventually closing the small space between them.

He hadn’t felt this good in a long time.

Then he blinked. And he was in the backseat of an Uber with Mina’s tiny frame pressed into his side. Palming him through his jeans and whispering dirty things into his ear. He could hear the soft moan that came from his lips, and he thought he should’ve been ashamed. But all he could focus on was the way her breath tickled his skin.

He blinked. And Mina was underneath him. Moaning his name and tugging him close to kiss him again. Had she already kissed him once? She must have. Or did he kiss her?

It didn’t matter. All he could feel was the way her pussy was squeezing him as he pumped himself in and out.

Her coal black her was splayed out across the pillow, and Jin couldn’t help sweeping one side up into his palm and giving it a light tug. She arched herself into him, crying out in ecstasy when Jin leaned in to suck blooming bruises into her neck.

God she looks fucking gorgeous like this.

And there it was. As if he’d flipped a magic switch, he’d regained some semblance of clarity. Sobriety. Just enough to feel the guilt come creeping in. She was gorgeous, and this is what she’d been wanting. She’d laid everything out for him and waited patiently until he’d finally take the bait.

His head was starting to hurt. He could feel himself inching closer and closer to coming undone with the way her heat was squeezing him. Jin dove in again, sucking more and more hickies into her skin.

He couldn’t stand to look at her anymore. He shouldn’t be doing this. This scene wasn’t meant for his eyes. It shouldn’t be meant for his eyes. He shouldn’t be enjoying her body as much as he was. It was selfish. HE was being selfish. He knew; he’s known this whole time how she’s felt, and he crossed that boundary.

It wasn’t fair to either of them, but especially not to her. Because even though she’d gotten what she wanted. Even if being with him was making her happy in the moment, nothing was going to change.

Tonight wouldn't mean anything to him.

“My parents are hosting a little dinner to congratulate my sister on her engagement next weekend.” Her naturally bubbly voice spoke through the receiver. “They’ve been asking about you, you know.”

He couldn’t stand to hurt her. The morning that followed their evening together, they sat in Mina’s kitchen. Had coffee together and tried to come up with ways to talk about what’d happened the night before. The usual routine for any one night stand.

Mina had been the first one to break the silence, admitting to Jin that she had, in fact, liked him for a long time. “I want to give us a chance.” She said earnestly.

Us…

It took Jin a moment to compose himself. Yoongi’s words of encouragement entangled themselves with his pounding migraine, and Jin couldn’t piece any of his thoughts together. “Mina…” He called out softly after a moment.

“I don’t know that I’m emotionally ready for a relationship. I have a lot of baggage--”

“That’s okay!” Mina reassured him. “I mean… We both still have some things we need to figure out; I know that, but…” She shied away from his gaze.

“Wouldn’t you at least like to try?” She whispered.

It broke Jin’s heart. Enough to finally give in. There was a mutual agreement: No labels on the relationship. Less of a chance for either of them to get hurt, but they wanted to make the effort -- Or rather, Mina wanted to make the effort. Because, who knows? Maybe they’d make a great team!

But Jin had been slacking recently. And he knew it. Was painfully aware everytime her name popped up on his phone or she’d shown up on his doorstep.

“They want to know when they’ll get to meet you.” She continued, reminding Jin that he was still on the phone with her. Jin nodded idly despite Mina not being able to see him. She’d been trying to plan another date for weeks now, but Jin’s evaded all attempts in doing so. Each time with the taste of guilt sitting at the back of his throat.

“It’s Saturday evening. I was wondering if you’d be able to make it.” The lilt of false hope in her voice plucked at his heartstrings. Made it that much harder to turn her down.

You should go. Just to make her happy.

“I really want to Mina, but I have my research deadline coming up soon, and I haven’t touched that paper in weeks…” Technically he’s not lying. But he knew damn well he wouldn’t be working on that monster anytime soon.

“You told me that paper’s not even due until April!” She sighed. “C’mon. You can’t spare just one night?”

Jin frowned, completely understanding her frustration with him. Mostly because he wished he could just learn how to tell people no. Or maybe tell Mina what was really going on. How he really felt. That way it wouldn’t feel like he was dragging her along anymore.

“I’m really sorry, Mina.” He apologized. “I promise you’ll see me soon.”

It didn’t take long for her to end the call after that, giving Jin some time to breathe. The phone fell onto the wooden table with a little more force than he’d intended, creating a sharp echo across the breakroom. Thankfully nobody else seemed to be around. He crossed his arms and laid his head down.

It’d been two weeks. Two weeks since he saw the bruises on your arms. Two weeks since he’d heard your voice. Two weeks since you’d been into work.

He texted you a couple times the first week. Called once just to make sure everything was okay, but it sent him straight to your voicemail.

He hung up.

The only thing reassuring him that you were still employed and above all else, alive was knowing Namjoon and Seulgi had both heard from you regarding every shift since then. He tried asking about you, but they simply told him you weren’t feeling well, and left it at that.

He knew they couldn’t share anything with him beyond that; it was common sense. Other associates’ business was strictly confidential, and really they were giving him more information than they needed to just by saying that. But at least it was something.

It wasn’t until he was back on the floor, going through the motions when he felt like he could finally release some of the tension built up in his chest. It was faint. Hardly something that would rouse his attention any other day, but he’d caught wind of your name being called out by one of the cashiers.

His hands stopped whatever they’d been doing. His body stood completely still. He eyed the doorway of the Men's dressing room. Not so much expecting you to walk through, but god he’d hoped.

There was a chill crawling up the back of his spine. A slight tingle in his fingertips, like his body knew what to expect, yet he didn’t. Looking down at his scanner, he tapped on the screen for confirmation.

6:18 PM

Four hours until closing. It would line up perfectly if you’d just clocked on. An unexpected bout of shyness washed over him. His cheeks. His ears. His neck. Everything felt warm at the thought of seeing you. Even if you wouldn’t speak to him; even if you’d told him you wanted nothing to do with him, just knowing you were safe would be enough.

He swallowed, forgetting what he was meant to be doing. Until he heard the telltale echo of timid footsteps on laminate floors approaching the Men’s dressing room.

He continued to stare holes into the backs of his hands until his vision unfocused. Listening intently to the footsteps until they were echoing off the walls of the tiny room he occupied. Until there was a clear indication he was no longer alone.

They faltered for a moment. As if they hadn’t expected anyone else to be here, but he didn’t seem to scare them off, walking closer until there were on the other side; standing shoulder to shoulder with him, staring at the wall of clothes that would need to be sent back out onto the floor. But nothing beyond that.

So it was you…

His mind eventually caught up to him, and all too quickly Jin realized how fucking stupid he must’ve looked right about now. How creepy it must’ve been for him to just be standing there like statue, his gaze burning holes into the wall as if that would somehow make him move. Make him focus on doing his job instead of worrying about you.

But you didn’t make any attempts to move either. Didn’t speak or give any indication you were even there aside from simply existing in the same space as him.

Out of his peripheral, he could tell your head was tilted down, fingers tightly wound together like you were paying your respects at a funeral. Neither of you moved a muscle.

The silence wasn’t uncomfortable. But it certainly wasn’t welcomed either. Jin couldn’t imagine what this scene might look like to a stranger had anybody decided to walk in, but to you and him, this would have to be enough for now. Enough to exist silently in this tiny, enclosed space. Enough to know that there’s no judgement nor urgency to fill the still space between them. Something akin to becoming acquainted with each other again, but for the first time.

There was no animosity. No abundance of energy or need to comfort.

It just Was.

“Hi, stranger.” Finally breaking the silence, your voice melted away any remaining anxiety seizing his bones. Part of that wall had been chipped away, and he could see you again. His lips upturned into the tiniest grin.

“Hi.”

You swallowed, clearly unsure of what to say or how to handle the situation now that it’d been acknowledged. You wren’t even sure there was anything you could say. Now didn’t seem like the right time for it. Like you’d already messed up before you’d been given the chance. Still, you wanted to try.

“I really…”

You cleared your throat. “I really missed you.”

Jin’s stomach lurched up into his throat. He wasn’t expecting that sort of response, but he was relieved to know he wasn’t the only one that’d been hurting for your company.

“I missed you too.” His throat cracked. “How’ve you been?”

You shrugged, tightening your fingers around each other until your knuckles turned bright white. “Not good.” You whispered. “I think…”

Jin finally turned his head in your direction. Just enough to catch your side profile. You didn’t look at him.

“I think I need somebody to hold right now.”

And somehow, that was all it took. Those were the magic words that broke the spell. In one short movement, Jin had your wrapped up in a comforting embrace which you gladly accepted. The glue keeping you together was already thin, and now it was melting away. But Jin’s hug prevented you from crumbling. Instinctively, you held him tighter and he returned the sentiment tenfold.

His chin locked over your shoulder while your face stay buried in the crook of his neck. There were still so many things left unsaid. Unspoken apologies that continued to dangle in the air above you, but they didn’t need to be spoken to be understood.

They’ve always been understood. With patience, the pressure faded away into nothing. Jin could finally breathe again, and so could you. There was never a need for any fear or doubt when it came to your friendship, and you knew. Both of you cherished the other; that much was made clear in the volume of your actions. It was just a matter of time.

Make no mistake, both you and Jin knew there was still so much to be discussed. Understanding that things couldn’t be left like this. Understanding that they couldn’t turn into this every time something went wrong. There needed to be a clear line of communication.

You felt like at this point, you owed it to him. No more keeping him in the dark. No more keeping secrets to protect him. Jin was a grown man. He wouldn’t run away at the first sign of trouble. He’s always been there, and as long as you’d allow it, he’d continue to be there. But all of that would come in due time. There was no need to fill this silence with word vomit.

For now, this was enough. This was more than enough.

And so in the hidden confines of a public dressing room, the two of you continued to share a long, comforting, and much needed hug. Warnth and safety in each other’s embrace.

“Come back to my place tonight.” Jin whispered.

You nodded. You didn’t need to be asked twice.

His apartment looked so much more different since the last time you’d been there. Granted, last time you were here, it was completely barren. Unlived for so long until he’d come to make it his own. The futon with the busted leg stuck out like a sore thumb being sat in the middle of the room, but now there was a large tan rug unfolded across the living space with splashes of blue and red, thus creating a deep purple where the two colors met.

Navy curtains adorned the floor to ceiling windows, perfectly shaping around the sliding glass door leading to his balcony. You couldn’t help the low buzz of giddiness in the pit of your stomach. It felt all too intimate standing in his apartment this late at night. Comfortably. Knowing you had nowhere else to be except for Dahyun’s apartment when the night would eventually come to a close.

There was light conversation as Jin led you through the lounge and out onto the balcony. He offered to get you a drink which you were happy to accept. He also grabbed the quilted blanket which lay folded neatly on the back of the couch.

Cool air rushed at your face as you stepped outside, and Jin as quick to wrap the quilt over your shoulders. You quietly thanked him. He flipped on the fairy lights and pulled one chaise lounger just a bit closer to the other. The only thing preventing them from being pushed together was the dark end table between them.

It was a nice little nook cut out just for them. The walls extended away from his apartment, giving them ultimate privacy from his neighbors. Jin handed you a beer before taking a seat on his lounger, facing you. You smiled, mirroring his actions before he handed the bottle opener over to you. The tabs came off with a satisfying pop.

The two of you sipped in silence for a bit. Once again, nothing felt uncomfortable. But rather heavy. You looked out into the night, tracing the silhouette of the city skyline off in the distance. You hadn’t known for sure what would happen when you finally came back to work. How Jin would react or treat you after going radio silent the way you did. Whatever tonight had ended up turning into, you wanted to explain yourself to him. Explain everything to him.

He’s going to run away…

You had to reassure yourself that your anxiety was lying to you. That nothing was going to happen except that you two would sit here for as long as it took. Even if you said absolutely nothing tonight, Jin would sit here with you until he knew you were okay.

You chanced a glance over at him, and he you. A gentle smile adorned his features. “So, are you going to tell me?” He asked softly, setting his bottle on the table.

You smiled back. “I wouldn’t know where to start….” He shrugged, looking back up at you. “I’ve heard the beginning is a great place for that.”

That drew a chuckle out of you. Setting your bottle down beside his, you drew your knees into your chest, and laid your cheek on top of them. You found yourself looking out towards the city once again.

Breathe…

“Touru called off our engagement.” You stated plainly. “He called it off… That last night I saw you.”

Jin nodded in understanding. “We fought really bad. Not just that night, but we’ve… We’ve been fighting a lot these last couple months.” You continued. “He told me… A lot of things the last time I saw him…”

“Like what?” He responded in a hoarse whisper.

You reached for your bottle, taking a long swig of the amber liquid before continuing. “Like how he doesn’t trust me.” You whispered back.

“How he’s been coming in…” You smirked to yourself. “Coming in to check on me.” “At work?”

You nodded. “I think that’s how he recognized you at the restaurant.” Truthfully, Jin had no idea Touru recognized him. Although he recalled Touru giving him dirty looks a couple times back then, he assumed it was because he was blatantly flirting with you in front of him.

“I don’t…” You were choking on your words before you could completely finish your thought. “I don’t want you to think it’s your fault all of this happened.” You coughed. Jin could see the tears clear as day, building up in your eyes. He made quick work moving to your side and taking a seat beside you.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He wrapped his arms around you. You all but clambered right into his lap and he let you. He held you close to him and stroked your hair.

“We have a lot of problems.” You snorted, laying your head on his shoulder. “And we haven’t always agreed on things… Actually, a lot of the disagreements turned into these… These really fucked up arguments.” Your voice cracked under pressure, swallowing around your words so you wouldn’t choke again.

Jin pulled the comforter around your shoulder and held you closer when you began to shiver. “I think this has been a long time coming, and… I don’t know. Maybe I should’ve seen it coming. But I wanted everything to work out.” You bumbled.

“I wanted us to work out. You know, he was my first love, and we’ve been together so long…” Jin’s heart broke for you. He reached out to thumb your tears away. He never wanted to see you like this.

“I just wanted us to work out…” You sniffled, pushing your face against Jin’s chest. Holding onto him like your life depended on it.

Jin frowned deeply, gently rocking you back and forth, hoping to provide any sense of comfort to you. “He’s always been a really jealous person. I don’t want to think he’s done it intentionally, but…” You sniffled again, “He’s run off so many of my friends over the last couple years. I really only talk to Chae and Dahyun now. I mean, I’ve met their friends, too. And I think we get along just fine, but…”

“I don’t have a deep friendship with those girls like I do with Dahyun and Chae. Like I do with you.” You admitted shyly. Jin understood what you meant by those words. Still, his heart jumped at the way you said it.

“And I’m sorry. I feel like these are things I should’ve told you from the beginning, but I guess I was scared.” You mumbled. “I didn’t want Touru running you off next.”

Jin smiled and tightened his hold around you. “Awe, (Y/n),” He cooed into your hair. “Touru would never scare me off. I’m too clingy.”

You snorted. You wiggled around a bit until you were able to free your other arm from the blanket so you could wrap it around his waist, giving him a proper hug.

In the dead of night. The only thing that filled the silence were the crickets and the distance noises of city traffic. Next door, his neighbor was playing an acoustic guitar. It was soft. Faint. But just enough to brighten the otherwise solemn atmosphere. Making the night just a little more comforting.

“Can I ask you something?”

You nodded.

“Did you want to leave nursing school?”

Jin’s voice had barely been above a whisper, and it took a moment for you to respond. He was worried either you didn’t hear him or maybe the question upset you.

“No.” You squeaked. “No, I didn’t want to leave.” You pulled away from him. The tears had calmed down a while ago. Although your cheeks were still puffy and your eyes were pink and bits of your hair were glued to your cheek. Jin couldn’t believe Touru could hurt you like this.

“It was just one more thing for us to argue about. I mean it was vicious the way we fought about my college and everything.” You dug the heel of your hand into your eye, trying to undo the tears dried around your lashes.

Jin nodded in response. “What are you going to do now?” “I’m not sure. Part of me wants my relationship back, but…”

You fell quiet, unable to finish your thought. Your mind had been in such a haze ever since that last night with Touru. No matter how hard you tried, it hurt too much to ever think about. Whether ending the engagement meant ending your relationship. Whether you’d try to pursue something you wanted or wait and see if he wants you back. There was still no clear ending for you.

The familiar lump was forming in your throat once again, but you didn’t want to cry anymore. You’d been messing with a loose thread in the blanket when Jin reached out to take your hands in his.

“Look at me,” He whispered. “You should do what’s going to make you happy. Even if he wants you back, you need to tell him…” He swallowed thickly, his nerves teasing him for staring into your eyes for too long.

“His ambitions aren’t your ambitions, (Y/n).”

You smiled at him, drawing circles into his hands with your thumbs. “Thank you, Jin.”

A smile. A genuine smile from you in who knows how long. And it was just for him. He couldn’t help but think about how beautiful you looked underneath the moonlight like this. Even after just crying over a man who certainly didn’t deserve you. His heart continued to pound against his chest.

He wanted to kiss you. God, he wanted to kiss you so bad, but there couldn’t be a worse time for that. You didn’t need a new relationship or a quick fuck to run to for the night. You needed a friend, and Jin was happy to be that.

The moment was broken all too soon by the light ping from your back pocket. You quickly pulled your phone out to check who was bothering you. “Ah, sorry. It’s just Dahyun checking in on me.” ou sighed, pulling your other hand away from his so you could reply.

“I should probably head out soon. She wants to know when I’m coming back.” You stood into a stretch. The blanket fell away and pooled in Jin’s lap. But he was just as quick to stand up, instinctively taking your hand in his again.

“You don’t have to!” He blurted out. “You can stay the night if you want.”

You frowned for a moment. “I dunno, Jin. Are you sure?” You questioned timidly. “I don’t think your girlfriend would appreciate me being here. Besides, don’t you have classes tomorrow?”

What?

Jin shook his head in confusion. “I only have one class in the afternoon tomorrow.” He sighed. ”As for my non-existent girlfriend, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” He laughed. “What made you think I had a girlfriend?”

Your cheeks were turning bright pink as you took your spot back on the chaise lounger. “Uhm… I guess someone told me about your crush on Seulgi…”

“Kyla.” Jin sighed and pressed his palm into his forehead, eventually brushing his hair away.

Thump. Thump.

“Wow, you figured that one out pretty quick.” You joked lightly. Jin chuckled, “Yeah. Because she’s the only one that found out.” Slowly, the humor faded from his face. And all that was left behind was worry and maybe a sense of guilt.

“Did she…” He cleared his throat. “I mean. Is that all she said?” Too embarrassed to look him in the eye, you focused your gaze on your fidgeting hands. “Ah. She said she thought you two were probably… Well, ya know.”

“Right.” Jin sighed loudly. “And she might’ve mentioned something about Seulgi’s boyfriend…”

He groaned and leaned back into the brick wall. Rubbing a hand down his tired face, “It’s not what you think.” He mumbled into his palm. He shut his eyes. His face scrunched up like he was in pain, but he wanted to tell you.

“I’d already been working there for like… I don’t know. Almost two years, maybe? Seulgi and I would kind of flirt with each other once in awhile, and it didn’t take long for me to develop a crush on her. But she’s my manager, right?”

You nodded in agreement. “I really, really liked her. But I never thought anything would come about until one day, I was ready to go on lunch, and I could hear someone whimpering in the back offices.” He explained softly. You pulled the blanket back up to your chin, and continued watching him with puffy eyes.

“Turns out it was her. I went back there to see what was wrong; maybe comfort her if she needed it. She told me she’d broke things off with her boyfriend a couple days before, and she’d never get back with him -- Ya know, relationship drama.”

“Yeah.”

“And…” Jin’s lips stretched into a shy smile. His cheeks were turning fifty shades of red, and he had no choice but to look away. “I don’t know… I guess in a heat of the moment thing, she kissed me.” He gulped. “I felt bad. Disgusting. It was weird because I didn’t want her to feel like I was taking advantage of her, but she insisted she was the one kissing me. Because she wanted me.” His voice grew weaker. You could tell by the emotion in his face. In his voice, that this was still something that was hurting him.

“She kept telling me she wanted me. That she had wanted me for a long time, and she asked if I wanted her, too. And of course I wanted her; I’d been dreaming of this moment.” He tugged his fingers through his bangs again. One finger got caught on a knot, but he pulled it through.

“It just felt… Off. That that had to be where we started, and it should’ve been a red flag. I should’ve stopped her, but I didn’t.” He chastised himself. “After that, we started seeing each other outside of work. That’s something she was super strict about, and I could never really figure out why: We couldn’t let anybody know. What we were doing was just between us.”

“Eventually I came to the conclusion it was because of the weird power imbalance or whatever, but…” He cleared his throat. “I kept seeing her. For seven months, we had this back and forth and it felt good. It felt wonderful being wanted by someone… Being in love with someone…”

Hearing him admit to being in love with her stung pretty bad for some reason, but you didn’t let it show. Scooting closer, you took one of his hands in both of yours. He finally looked over at you, giving you a small smile. He clamped his hand gently around yours.

“She would talk to me sometimes about her ex, but she’d never mention him by name. Never said anything that would hint at them getting back together; she only ever complained about what was wrong with their relationship, and I was happy to lend an ear.”

“But I think at some point, I started getting too bold. I was flirting with her at work again; even more so than what we were used to. I’d joke around and try to play with her. I think that’s when she started to pull away.” His voice cracked. “Then one morning… She just snapped at me.”

“During the morning huddle…” You finished for him. “Irene filled me in on that much.” You added, recalling what her and Kyla told you on your first day.

So even the other managers didn’t know what was going on.

Jin nodded. “I was humiliated because she usually enjoyed my jokes, but it was like everything had come to a halt. That afternoon before I left, she pulled me into her office…” He took a deep, shaky breath.

“She told me she hadn’t been honest with me. That her and her ex had one of those on again; off again relationships. And she was getting back together wit him.” He continued. “Because despite everything, he was the one she’s in love with. Is in love with.”

Jin stopped to take another deep breath. It’d been so long since he talked about this, but never in this much detail. He hadn’t realized it would be this difficult. “She thought this time, it was really over because she’d caught him with his ex after they’d broken up last. And she thought she wanted to move on, but…” He shrugged. “She also wanted to make it work.”

You frowned and leaned your head against his shoulder. He leaned his head on top of yours. “I’m so sorry, Jin. I can’t imagine how hard that must’ve been for you.” You whispered, but he just shrugged again.

“So are they back together now?” Jin nodded. “Yeah. Her and Namjoon--”

“It’s Namjoon!?”

He nodded again. “That’s why she wanted to be discreet at work.” He smirked. “Please don’t tell anybody I told you. Our coworkers aren’t supposed to know.”

You furiously shook your head, making a zipping motion over your lips, and even though it was enough to make Jin smile, he still looked so tired. So exhausted. It was like retelling that story had aged him ten years. To Jin, it surely felt that way, too.

“Did… Did you ever tell him?”

Another nod of confirmation. “I had to. I couldn’t handle the guilt.” He sighed. “He listened to me, and I think he understood that I genuinely had no idea they were a couple. He was still angry, though. Shoved me out the door.” A humorless chuckle escaped his lips.

“Namjoon’s never been a violent guy, but I’m positive he wanted to his me that night. It was just a fucked situation all around.” He scoffed. “We went out to lunch a week later, and he apologized, and so did I. Again. and he told me this was something pretty normal for them -- That they’ll break up and get back together, and they’ve cheated on each other and all this other stuff.”

You immediately looked up at him in shock. Safe to say, his look matched yours pretty closely.

“Jesus.” You breathed. “Have they ever heard of couples therapy?” He laughed, “I know right?!”

The two of you shared a knowing smile, but the mood turned somber once again. “But anyway… He said that breakup was really bad for them for so many reasons. I didn’t want him to go into detail about it; I got the idea. But I swore I’d never get involved again because… I mean, I don’t want to. If I would’ve known they were a thing, I never would’ve gotten involved in the first place.”

Your lips downturned into a small pout. So that’s how it happened. He’s not a homewrecker or a playboy. He got caught up in something he knew nothing about. You couldn’t blame him for that.

You leaned into him again. His bicep felt surprisingly warm against your cheek. His head was resting on top of yours once more. “I’m really sorry that happened to you.” You muttered softly. Jin smiled, “It’s been a long time. I’m over it now.”

“But not over it enough to join the morning huddles anymore?” You snorted. Although you regretted it seconds later.

“I’m sorry, that didn’t--” “No, you’re right!” He laughed. “Ah. I think it’s just the humiliation. If Seulgi’s in the morning huddle, then I’ll skip it. Reminds me too much of how I felt that one time.”

“I understand.”

Your gazed panned over to the open drinks sitting on the nightstand. Right beside each other just like you and Jin, and you frowned. You couldn’t help but wonder if Jin had opened up like this to anyone else. If he’d shared moments like this with Seulgi.

He still misses her.

You could feel yourself sinking into these negative thoughts until you felt a raindrop on the tip of your nose. Then another on your cheek. And another. Until eventually, a few sparse raindrops turned into a light drizzle. That’s when you and Jin decided to turn in for the night.

You were folding the quilt when Jin spoke up. “I’m gonna go grab some spare sheets for myself. Would you like something more comfortable to sleep in?”

You made a face at him. “Spare sheets?”

Jin nodded. “You should take the bed; I don’t mind.” He smiled softly. He turned to head upstairs, but you grabbed his wrist, stopping him suddenly. “Actually…” You interjected in a shy tone.

You turned your face away from him. For a grown woman, you were making an awfully big deal over such an inconsequential question.

“I was wondering… Do you mind sleeping with me?” You were met with silence. Not because your question weirded him out, but because you surprised him.

“I promise I’m not going to do anything weird--” “Isn’t that supposed to be my line?” Jin laughed.

You quickly pulled your hand away. “If you don’t feel comfortable, I understand. I just… I really don’t want to be alone right now.”

The heat was quickly returning to his cheeks. Thoughts of you half-naked laying beside him plagued his mind, but he quickly put those thoughts to rest. He reached out to take hold of your hand again.

“I understand.”

He led you up the familiar stairwell, not saying another word. After changing into the clothes he offered you -- And maybe staring at yourself in those clothes for just a little too long -- You finally returned to his room and crawled into bed with him.

You took the side closest to the window while he lay closest to the door. Facing each other, you shoved your hands under the pillow and gave him a small smile. “Well. Goodnight.”

He smiled, shutting his eyes first.

“Goodnight, (Y/n).”

Although hesitant, you followed suit. What you’d forgotten to mention; what you’d hoped would be fixed by having a warm body beside you, were the sleepless nights you’d been experiencing from day one. It took hours of laying there, just waiting for something to happen. Waiting for the intrusive thoughts to fade away. Hours of being on your phone and willing yourself not to look back at old conversations. Anything that would be a distraction to you. Anything that would eventually put you to sleep.

He’s already fallen out of love with you.

What if he has another woman at the house?

Your house…

It’s still your home just as much as it is his. There’s probably another woman laying on your side of the bed right now. Just like you’re laying here with Jin.

You’re no better than he is.

You opened your eyes again as if that would somehow reset your mind. You were surprised though, to find Jin there, watching you.

“What?” You whispered.

“You were making a lot of facial expressions.”

You blushed, shoving your cheek against the pillow. You’ve never been good at hiding how you felt.

“Are you okay?” You asked him, but he furrowed his brows at you.

“Are you okay?” He parroted your question. You shrugged. “As okay as I can be.”

Your eyes shifted down to the sheets. Gently you began scratching your fingernail against the bed, focusing anywhere else so you wouldn’t breakdown again. Judging by the tightness in your throat and behind your eyes, you had a feeling this facade wouldn’t last long.

“Is there anything I can do?” Jin frowned.

After a beat of silence, you finally spoke.

“Will you hold me?”

Immediately, Jin scooted closer and pulled you into his chest. Wrapping one arm around your waist while the other wrapped around your shoulders. “It’s okay.” He whispered into your hair. It felt like you were sucking cold air into your lungs when the sobs finally broke through again. You grasped onto the front of his shirt, feeling pathetic. Why were you crying over someone so selfish? More importantly, why were you crying to one of your coworkers?

Everything Touru said. Not just him calling off the engagement, but from every argument that consequently led up to this. Every mistake you made that pushed him away.

“You’d tell me if you were unhappy, wouldn’t you?”

“I tell you everything, don’t I?”

What a load of shit that turned out to be. How could you not see this coming? Your first sign should’ve been that night he said he didn’t trust you. That should’ve been the first sign things needed to change, but they didn’t.

You didn’t change anything, and now look at where you’re at.

Another sob broke through your chapped lips, causing pain in your chest. “I can’t do anything right, Jin.” You whimpered.

“What are you talking about? You do plenty of things right.” He responded softly, looking down at you. You kept your head buried in his chest, disagreeing with him.

“Hey,” He whispered, stroking the back of your head. You looked up with tears glistening in the moonlight. “You’re doing everything right by just being you, and doing what makes you happy.” He reassured you as he thumbed your tears away. “If he can’t support you, then he doesn’t deserve you. Hell, if he can make you cry like this, then he really doesn’t deserve you.”

A new wave of sadness overcame you and you were shoving your face right back into his chest. “I know you’re right.” You hiccupped. “It just hurts, you know? Realizing it.”

Your speech was broken up between sobs and stuttering between heavy breaths. It killed Jin to see you like this. Seeing the way Touru could tear you apart as easily as he did.

“I know.” He responded, holding you tighter and kissing the top of your head. He lay there quietly, stroking your hair and gently kneading his fingers into your waist while you continued to cry. He wished there was more that he could do. Anything to ease some of your pain, but this was all he could offer.

Ater a minute or so, your crying had subsided. Jin couldn’t tell if you’d fallen asleep or not, but he figured it was worth giving this a try.

“What does a loaf of bread say to his girlfriend before breaking up with her?” The room was silent for a moment, give or take the occasional sniffle.

“You deserve butter.”

At first you didn’t react, and Jin thought you really did fall asleep. Then you pulled away with furrowed brows and a look like he’d just insulted your mother.

“Wh-what?”

He smiled at you. From this angle, you could see his defined double chin. “Sorry. That one was a little crumby, wasn’t it?”

Soon your lips were upturned into a smirk. You let out something between a giggle and a snort. “Jin. Stop it.”

“Wait, wait.” He was giggling to himself before he could even get the next one out. “What did the toast say to the psychic?”

You watched in amusement as he tried not to burst at the seam. “You bread my mind!” He howled with laughter. He was already pulling you back into him so he could laugh into your hair. “What the hell, Jin! That’s so lame!”

“But you’re laughing too!” “I’m only laughing because you’re laughing!” You argued, clearly laughing along with him. “I’m still sad!”

“Hey.” His giggles came to a halt, and he was pulling away to look you in the eye again.

“What?” You smiled.

“What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?” “Jin, I swear--”

“They tend to get stale!” He squealed. Even in the moonlight, you could see just how pink his cheeks were. The way his eyes creased up before laughing into your hair again.

Seulgi was a fool to give him up.

You playfully smacked at his chest. “What is up with you and bread tonight?” He shook his head. “I dunno; must’ve been something in the beer--”

“Oh my god, shut up!” You laughed, quickly wrapping your arms around his waist so you could hold him too.

Jin watched on in awe at the way you were still giggling at his antics. The way he could feel your arms around him. He knew he was in trouble, but he decided he would put those feelings on the backburner. Kick that can on down the road, if you will. That’s a problem for future Jin to deal with.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked as he rubbed the pad of his thumb over your tears once again. Your gaze waivered a bit. Flickering back and forth between his eyes, to his nose, his lips. Then back up again.

“Yeah, I am.” You sniffled.

“Thank you, Jin.”

#bts #magicshopnet #btsghostie #kim seokjin #seokjin x reader #jin x reader #bts x reader #slice of life au #seokjin series #bts series #hihihi this chapter was really nice to write #and I've been looking forward to this one for awhile ^^#slow burn

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edenkept · 4 years

Photo

❛ NOW I KNOW IT’S NOT YOU , but me that i'll love a little more .

wish i could use emojis to express how i feel , but jus know that for the entire day that ONE PART in roman holiday has been playing in my head on repeat & i ? couldn’t turn it off . anyway , my intros r usually super long SO i tried to keep it - how u say - condensed this time . but i’m so excited & i am so hyped to write w all of u ! @opalsmedia

LINKS : google doc / pinterest / spotify / tik tok compilation

𝑭𝑼𝑵𝑫𝑨𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑨𝑳𝑺

full name : baek ye - seul

nickname(s) / alias(es) : eden park ( english name )

age / dob : twenty one / march 3 ‘99

hometown : seoul , south korea

current location : guildford , england

ethnicity : korean

nationality : english - south korean

gender : cis female

pronouns : she / her

orientation : pansexual , grayromantic

religion : agnostic , raised catholic

face claim : jung chaeyeon

language(s) spoken : korean , mandarin , cantonese , english , some french

speech : english is her first language - seven years spent in london before being whisked away to another world , she’s still got a hold on a formal accent - though , doesn’t sound completely english or american , some ambiguous mixture of someone who’s practiced the language with someone who isn’t a complete expert . all being said , she’s enchanting enough to fool even the wisest into listening - schemes flinging from parted lips that garner attention , though often what follows is informal & laced with sour intentions .

hair : naturally dark , so dark its comparable to a moonless sky , though , in the summer & constant sunlight it’s known to lighten ( just - barely ) . kept just past her shoulder blades , her hair is naturally straight ( barely wavy ) & not often styled . healthy & thick , requires little uptake at current length , so it’s common to see it all down - at most , will be swept up into a messy up - do to be kept out of her face when doing something important . entirely effortless , her hair is often the least of her worries .

eyes : quite the defining feature , her eyes are sharp & cat like . the same color of the earth after an unforgiving rain storm , it’s easy to see past a confident exo - skeleton to see the unresolved pain in her eyes . holders of wisdom & excitement , there’s a lot of sadness that reside in her hues - a lone survivor in an unheard war , she doesn’t let enough people close enough to ever let them see it . instead , it’s more often found to catch her sending a glimpse from over the edge of a book - sly & clever .

height : five feet , five inches

build : athletic , with toned limbs & a toned torso .

tattoos : none .

piercings : only earlobes .

scars : easily hidden , a small two centimetre scar on the inside of her right wrist , just below the fleshy part of her palm . when asked , the consistent story is an accident when moving in with her adopted parents - a child throwing a tantrum & getting themselves hurt . nobody knows the real story , she doesn’t seem keen on sharing .

clothing style : academia aesthetic , she surrounds herself with like minded women who’ve the same ideals & personalities . distinguishable by their clothing , carefully smoothed high waisted a - line skirts , high turtlenecks & long coats over black tights . looks sophisticated enough to have a butler ( which , she does ) but intellectual enough to debate her professor ( which , she often does ) .

usual expression : like she knows too much , as if she’s seen too much & she’ll use it to her advantage . with the constant curve of her lips & the glint that’s always present in her eyes , she always looks as if she’s about to cause as much trouble . devil’s advocate , it wouldn’t be too far off for her to be minutes away from stirring the pot .

distinguishing characteristics : her fleeting laugh - it catches your ear as she passes you in the corridor , always red nails ; deep in color , it matches the shade of blood , a walk that demands attention - it exudes an aura of importance , cat like eyes that always look like they’ve caught you doing something you aren’t supposed to be doing .

𝑹𝑼𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺

exterior : ethereal , she holds herself to an impossibly high standard that everyone can see . is it intentional ? the looks sent over her shoulders , how she parts the halls to reach a friend - no . a normal girl from a normal world , she’s sat in the front of the lecture hall making eye contact with the instructors ; the kind of classmate who learns everyone’s ( everyone’s ) name & collects numbers in a well worn notebook to send out guides & make friends . even if you don’t know eden , you know of eden - the life of the party who always arrives with glowing skin & a passionate argument to have in the kitchen . elite , the rumors of a heaven fallen girl wrap around her with the moonlight ( her journal left in the library , she’s god chosen ) - passionate , with the fires of both heaven & hell wrapped in her . almost normal ( not quite ) , the kind of girl to greet everyone by name while running through almost empty corridors - she tugs a lifetime of sorrow behind her , hides it behind ambition & blind loyalty .

interior : war torn , a victim of poison dipped claws & a dip into the river styx . her mind doesn’t match her body , stuck in between the pages of a grand journey where she views the world as a story . a punishment for early childhood , penance has been found in intricate metaphors that don’t match the sharp callousness that falls from her lips . lost in a universe where she’s half god , half devil & her enemies are heaven - bound , she pushes it all down to pass as normal . a normal girl , with normal goals & normal roles . poetry in her dreams , written down on hidden yellow pages that aren’t meant to be seen by the ordinary . found hidden away in locked boxes are journeys & important figures that only her mind understands ; a gaping scar in her life that she’ll never rid herself of .

𝑪𝑯𝑹𝑶𝑵𝑰𝑪𝑳𝑬

this is NOT gna be pretty i spent too many brain cells on my app .

TRIGGER WARNINGS : abuse

there’s an email from doctor seong ; it reads of baek ye seul & important things to note before a first session with her . irreversibly traumatized from early childhood captivity & abuse , she’s learned to cope by transforming her life into an intricately weaved story . each significant figure in her life has a title , an assigned metaphor & character - though , outwardly , she’ll show no signs of trauma . in fact , the opposite - she shows tremendous progress in her personal life , easygoing with peers , approachable & passionate - keep an eye on her movements , if anything internal ever goes external , it’s a dangerous sign .

a file left open on an agent prothero’s office - MI6 stamped & redacted but he knows the story by heart . poor eden , left in the hands of a capable agent that chose a target over her own country . the product of a traitor & a criminal , whereabouts were unknown for the first six years of her life ; but through extensive therapy & decoding childish messages , he’s learned enough to swear to always keep an eye on her . held captive on a london penthouse , had her life threatened & well being always held just out of reach while her mother & father stayed hidden . not much else is known , no specifics , just one instance - she drowned , almost , she says . held under , he can still remember her asking what the most peaceful way to die is . he sends her to partners in south korea , people who want a daughter & promise to raise her the best they can .

pour over comments left on old social media pages , she’s a hit in her new life . sheds her english name as quickly as she received it & thrives overseas while growing into a formidable woman . she’s intelligent ( reminds someone of a mother who had it all once ) , sharp & witty . filled with enough passion to light a palace ablaze , she strives for greatness & settles for absolutely nothing . always equipped with a plan & a way , she gets everything she wants ( & she always earns it , there isn’t a single unearned trophy on her shelf ) . either loved or despised , she shines as bright as stars that are millions of light years away from earth .

in her planner , an acceptance letter carefully pressed & laminated . someone told her she’d never get in , but she sits on campus & smiles - she’s capable of doing anything she wants . next to the letter is an unblemished business card . agent prothero , who found her , gave her the means to burn everything down - he hands her a promise & information that always swims around her head . her parents aren’t dead , kept hidden by everyone in her life , they’re still kicking & on the run . a goal formulated as he reminds her to finish her schooling - there’s the same glint in his eye that she often sees in the mirror - a promise made to finish & return . some people deserve a downfall , her mother’s will be her .

𝑪𝑶𝑽𝑬𝑻𝑬𝑫

throuple / trio : hee hee , as explained in my app , jus three prodigies who get along so well that they’re jus the best of friends . kindred spirits , always found together , wearing complimenting colors while they try not to laugh to hard in the library over something rly stupid . they hold hands while walking through hidden corridors & keep their heads down to the wind , but it’s always the three of them .

unrequited rivalry : i.e. an opal who sees her as a “rival” ( or jus pushes her ) & eden’s like haha peepeepoopoo in response cos she doesn’t think anyone’s worthy enough to be her rival . if anything , she thinks it’s more endearing than annoying & it gives her something / someone to look forward to when the time comes down to it .

the angle to her deivl : anyone who’s a lil kinder , a lil softer & not as annoying around the edges . eden consistently plays devil’s advocate & will stir the pot it if brings drama & a little bit of chaos into her life , this muse is someone who’s always the ‘ eden no ’ to her ‘ eden yes ’

in relation to her circlet : fully explained in my app , but eden unabashedly views her coven as family - even if she does lean into the role of annoying cousin . she’s no leader , more of an antagonistic side kick who always plays devil’s advocate & causes trouble . that being said , when things get dirty & things need solving , that’s her main job ( she ? thinks )

in relation to the opals : opals , shmopals . a characteristic flaw is her disregard to authority figures ( always seen arguing with professors , will fight the p*lice when called to a party , has tackled various figures around campus ) , including the opals . respect should be earned & besides being her seniors , she’s seen no other reason to respect them . so , she’s outwardly disrespectful & idk what to say .

#opalsintro #THIS IS OOSOOO FLGNFJEAFH HAHHEH #WEAK SAUCE !

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beaufortswan42 · 4 years

Text

The Forks P.3

Beau’s POV

“Hey beau! Welcome to Casa Newton! I’ll hang your coat” McKayla cheerfully said. I was told to arrive after school so we could get started with rehearsals. Her house was cozy and seemed more life a vacation cottage than an actual house. “Wow this is a nice home McKayla. It’s all very cozy.” I said while looking at the family pictures on their wall. Baby pictures, birthdays, middle school graduation. Next to the wall was a hall of fame dedicated to their family’s sport accomplishments. Trophies from all different sports and even a few medals with the Newton name.

“Wow, no wonder you’re so good at sports, it runs in your family” I turned to look for McKayla but I froze when I saw her, one leg crossed over the other, sitting calmly on her couch, watching me with a coquettish expression blazed in her eyes.

She softly smiled and let her eyes roam my body. It was the most awkward minute of my entire existence. “Oh thank you beau and yes we have quite the knack for sports. Come and sit down while we wait for the others. There’s no need to be shy, come sit.” McKayla gestured at the seat next to her on the couch. I sat on the other side, praying she didn’t get any ideas. As rude as this seems I didn’t want her to get the wrong impression. McKayla is a pretty girl, if you’re into the cheerleader type but I don’t consider her my type. My only type is a certain girl, skin tone pale as the winter snow with bronze metallic hair, and the most stunning golden eyes I’ve ever gazed upon. I just wish Edythe felt the same about me. The only contact we’ve had was yesterday in bio when she tried to kill me with her fiery golden orbs. But in regards to McKayla I really don’t want to lose a friend over a girl. I know Jeremy has been crushing on her for awhile now. It would be a clear violation of the bro code if I went out with her. But I also don’t like hurting people’s feelings so I need to find a way to let her down gently before things progress any further.

“My family has always been known to be talented in all things physical.” The double meaning was definitely understood. “But enough about me let’s talk about you.” She not so subtlety scooted a few inches closer to me.

“Tell me beau, what makes you tick?”

“Excuse me?”

“what do you look for in a girl or better yet what does a girl have to do to get your attention?” She provocatively said, lust and desire reflecting off her tone of voice.

Uh what? I thought. My face producing red blotches of mortification and timidity.

“Uhhh I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you. What did you say?” I pretended I didn’t hear her burning questions as I desperately prayed for the rest of the band to show up. Where in the hell is Allen and Jeremy? If they don’t get here soon I’m going to have to run out when she’s not looking. I hope she doesn’t jump on the hood of my truck. I hope she’s not the type to jump on a moving car. Maybe I can call in sick as well? Maybe I can- what is she doing? I nervously thought to myself as she put her head on my shoulder. I didn’t realize she had completely scooted right next to me while I was in between my inner monologue. I need to get out of here fast...her hand is rubbing on my knee but how do I go about this? Do I push her away?! I’ve never pushed a girl before but there’s a first time for everything if she keeps this up. My hands were already clammy, I could feel the sweat falling off my forehead. I needed to react fast! Then it suddenly occurred to me. That’s it!

“Uhhh hey McKayla can I use your bathroom? I had a lot of water today, like a-aaaa ton of water and I really need to go.” I nervously stuttered to her as I quickly jumped from my seat.

“Um ok, yeah uhh-yeah sure it’s down the hall to the left.” She disappointedly mumbled as she sat back on the couch. I rushed to the bathroom, locking the door quickly and looked at myself in the mirror. Blue eyes and messy short curls staring back at a nervous teenage boy who just avoided getting kissed by one of the most popular girls in school. “What do girls even see in me? I’m not even that cute! I’m a solid 4 out of 10” I washed my face and hands 3 times and did my best to prolong my bathroom visit at casa newton. But what’s gonna happen when I go out? Will she try again? Or is she outside waiting for me right-

Ding Dong! Ding dong!

Someone above must be looking out for me because the doorbell rang, I could hear Allen and Jeremy walk into the house. I’m not religious but hallelujah, thank you Jesus!

I calmed myself down and made my way to the living room where Allen and Jeremy were talking to McKayla. I could see the look of disappointment and frustration on her face from the moment not going the way she planned it.

“Hey beau, how are you?” Asked Allen as he have me a bro hug. Allen has always been one of the kids I connect with the most at school. We’re both introverts, enjoy many of the same hobbies, activities and books. Every time we hangout we don’t feel the need to fill up every empty moment with conversation. Silence is good and is habitual between us.

“Heyyyy it’s my man beau! The rock god! Are you ready for this bro!!” Jeremy yelled as he enthusiastically shook my shoulders. When he let go I could’ve swore there were two jeremy’s in front of me.

“Alright guys lets not waste time any further, let’s go to the garage and get started!” I could tell that Jeremy was very pumped for this, even Allen was more hyped than McKayla who was giving me dirty looks for rejecting her advances. I didn’t mean to be arrogant but I only have eyes for one girl. The same girl who wants nothing to do with me.

I followed everyone to the garage and marveled at the instruments before me. There was a set of drums in the back that were perfectly polished, the guitar and bass looked like they came from a special edition collection. I was admiring the 80s synth keyboard when suddenly McKayla came up to me and gave me what looked like sheet music.

“Ok beau we’re going to perform teenage dirtbag by Wheatus. Here are the lyrics...and yeah that’s pretty much it...any questions? no? Ok great! Lets rock!” McKayla cheerfully said as we took it from the top.

...

We spent the rest of the evening rehearsing and going over everything to make sure it was smooth for everyone. I practiced my vocals, Allen was a master on the guitar, McKayla drove the rhythm with her bass and Jeremy controlled the beat with his drumming style. I must admit that I started feeling more comfortable with my singing and with the idea of performing. If Edythe was there I could use this song to somehow communicate how I feel about her. It’s definitely a step out of my comfort zone, but maybe this is what I need to get some closure if she decides not to talk to me again. The idea of the song itself reminded me of Edythe. The most interesting girl getting crushed on by the dorky new kid; yeah that’s definitely my scenario, minus the boyfriend. I wonder how she will react or if she’ll even be there. Would she like it? Would she know I’m indirectly singing to her? All these questions in my head with no answers.

“Woooooo!!! we sound really good guys! If we don’t win then I’m moving to Canada.” McKayla said, her bubbly personality coming back despite the certain situation that occurred a few hours ago. Jeremy matched her enthusiasm and gave her a hug while saying “oh don’t worry we will win! These other acts are just cheap chumps, it’s smooth sailing from here. All we have to do is control the crowd and rock out like never before. Which means beau you have to bring your A game. You can’t be nervous or stuttering...also please don’t faint.”

“Don’t listen to him beau you’ll do great, you sound awesome...it’ll be ok” Allen assured me as we walked to the front door. I grabbed my coat and we were out the door when McKayla reminded us to come by tomorrow again at the same time for rehearsal before Friday. There’s no way in hell I was coming first again. I learned my lesson. I made it my personal mission to come along with the guys.

“Oh wait before I forget what’s the name of the band?” I asked the group before I got in my car.

“We’re called the forks!” McKayla proudly stated as she walked over to me.

“I’m sorry....what? Did you say the forks?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. What kind of name is that? Now I’m convinced, we would be kicked off the stage.

“Yeah we decided it would show a sign of school spirit and a sense of community.”

“What in the worl- ok I’m sorry guys but I think we should change the name before we go up on stage. If I’m honest the name is terrible and we will be laughed off the stage. In fact they’ll probably throw tomatoes before we perform.” I gently said to them so I wouldn’t hurt their feelings. I thought of how much more Edythe would dislike me if she found out I was in a band called “the forks” I couldn’t bear to see her and her family’s reaction. I was convinced that she would ignore me even more than before.

“Well the deadline is in a few days for name changes so how about-“

“I think the name sounds cool and gives us an edge with the judges” Jeremy defensively said in order to side with McKayla. We could’ve been called diapers and Jeremy would still go with it so he could get McKayla to like him. Before I could answer, McKayla’s dad arrived which means that it was almost past my curfew so I had to race back and beat Charlie. To bad my truck doesn’t go past 65 mph. I thankfully got home a few minutes before Charlie, ate some cereal and decided to call it a night. “Damn, what’s gonna happen on Friday?”

Part of me wanted Edythe to be there but the other half didn’t. The bronze haired beauty definitely seemed like someone who isn’t easily impressed. I could sing with David Bowie, juggle 6 bowling balls and stand on one foot simultaneously and she still wouldn’t be impressed. Fear overtook my body at the thought of her watching me embarrass myself. Me. Beaufort klutzy Swan. On stage. Singing. in front of Edythe-Aphrodite, queen -Cullen. “I’m so gonna fuck it up”.

It felt like I was laying in my bed for hours on a never ending time loop filled with anxiety and pressure. I tried reading but all I read was Edythe’s words from a few weeks ago. I tried listening to the new CD Phil got me, but all I heard was Edythe yelling at me. I pondered more about her and Friday’s event until my eyes started to close and sleep came over me. The last thing I remember was Edythe’s eyes, piercing into my soul. The same scene replaying over and over again. “We shouldn’t be friends...”

#twilight #twilight reimagined #life and death #beau swan #edythe cullen #archie cullen #eleanor cullen #jessamine hale #royal hale #beau x edythe #edythe x beau #the cullens #twilight fanfiction #twilight scenarios #for fun #forks #mckayla newton #carine cullen #earnest cullen

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