#I’m being selfish today mwahaha

[pebbleyoufindonthestreet]

I’m not immune to self inserts..

I think he would listen to my rambles hehe

No context for the last one lmao

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AKSJSJSNIWJSHSANSEUSSJSJSKSJSJ AAAAAA

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Episode 4

Heyo! Sorry for the radio silence, I got moved to a longer morning shift at work this week, kept on getting home and falling asleep straight away. Now where did we leave off? ...oh. Right. Mami. *deep breath* Alright, PMMM. Do your worst.

Someone’s running? Wait, is this Kamijo’s (fancy) hospital room? Why is the bed empty? Oh, Sayaka! How are you… yeah, not even going to bother asking how you feel after seeing Mami get eaten, jesus christ. Anyways, Kamijo’s in Physical Therapy, so she can’t see him. So Sayaka just walks away as the strings start, we see Kamijo actually in Physical Therapy struggling to walk (so the accident not only messed up his ability to play music, but even to walk), and the nurses confirm that even if he is able to walk again he’ll probably never be able to play the violin. *checks time* and we’re only one minute into this damn episode. Where the hell is the cheery magical girl slice of life show I was promised?! And Sayaka’s in the elevator, wondering why it was Kamijo that got hurt. Her fingers are fine… “Why couldn’t it have been me instead of Kyosuke?” Well. Looks like someone’s got some survivor’s guilt from the Mami incident bleeding over to another injured person. Sayaka? Sayaka, listen to me. Are you listening? Ok, look. YOU ARE A MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRL. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE TO BE HAVING THESE THOUGHTS. THESE ARE NOT HEALTHY THOUGHTS FOR ANYONE TO HAVE. YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. But of course she can’t hear me, and continues to beat herself up, wondering what Kamijo’s reaction to her healing him would be. (I assume she’s not in the right frame of mind to consider that it would likely be along the lines of “Holy crap what the hell just happened.”) No! Sayaka, no, stop that! You are not ‘a horrible person’! Stop feeling guilty about things that are absolutely not your fault! Whoa, what the hell? It’s still the original intro? … How dare you. How dare you, PMMM?! You spring that last episode on me, and then you just pull up this poppy little sequence of lies and act like nothing has changed? You still show the three on top of the damn radio tower! Episode 4: Miracles and Magic Are Real Ok, nope. Sorry, but I am too angry at PMMM to continue tonight. I’ll be back tomorrow, but damn it show, you can’t just have all of the sadness and then bring up a bright cheery intro and title like that, and pretend you’re still cute and not secretly enjoying my crushed innocence.

*one angry sleep later*

*Watches Intro Sequence of Lies* Ok, I think I’m back into the requisite ‘wanting to hug and shield these precious babies from the horrible writers’ mindset. Lets get to it! The Kaname house! Still as Modern Art-esque as ever, I see. The family is all in the kitchen and… oh. While Father is cooking in his apron and Mother in her business attire is cleaning the little boy’s face, Madoka is… just sitting there. Not talking, not touching her food just… slightly hunched over, looking down. Looking at the egg yolk. Yellow like Mami’s improbable hair- no don’t show that scene again she’s twitching uniform poof GUH. Madoka just got snapped out of it when Mother tells her to hurry and eat, otherwise she’ll be late for school. Guh. I know that there’s no way for the family to know, but school probably isn’t Madoka’s biggest concern right now. And Madoka can’t even take a bite of her breakfast without breaking into tears. Father can only ask if it tastes bad, or something. … I know that on some level I think that’s funny, but it’s kinda far down under the weight of this middle-school girl having flashbacks about seeing her friend get eaten alive. Who can only barely talk about how it tastes good and she’s alive to eat it. Cut to the road to school, Sayaka is being surprisingly talkative today, mostly at Hitomi while Madoka is being very quiet. Well, not verbally, but she does shoot a mind message to Sayaka who asks if they can talk about it later. In class the teacher is talking about marriage and relative ages for some reason, I suspect this isn’t part of the intended lesson. And Homura is glancing back at the girls. I honestly can’t tell what she’s thinking. “Good, looks like they were scared off?” “It’s sad that their friend died, but now there’s no-one in my way?” “Mwahaha, my evil plan is going perfectly?” Up on the wide open rooftop again, the girls are talking about how different things are now. “It feels like we’re in a foreign country or something.” The non-magical girl parts of their world are still the same, but it feels so… distant now. And that’s because no-one else knows about the witches. Or Mami. (Wait, sudden thought. Mami lived on her own in the apartment. And it was implied that she was an orphan from the car crash. Who’s going to notice that she’s gone? Her landlord, if she was renting the apartment? Maybe the school when she doesn’t show up? Are there no other friends or family who would notice?) Oof, loaded question now. “Do you still want to be a magical girl, even now?” They don’t have an answer. I don’t think I have one either. And now Madoka’s crying (nooo, don’t do that) and saying she know’s it’s “selfish” to back out now, but she can’t go forward. She’s scared. Middle-school girls, remember. Mami really was kind to make them understand the risks. Would have been better if she hadn’t died as an object lesson, but maybe it can still help them. Yeah, what is going to happen to Anime City now, show mascot? I mean, the Protagonist and Sidekick are pretty set on Refusing the Call, but that still leaves witches running around. Kyubey says that with Mami gone, other magical girls are likely to move in and hunt the witches. I’m torn between curious at seeing outside magical girls moving in and jockeying for the territory, and thinking that Homura isn’t likely to let that happen. Maybe there are a few more conveniently-placed Grief Seeds in the future… Whoever ends up here, at least they should deal with the witch probl- WHOA WHAT “But I think the only ones who have a right to judge their actions are their fellow magical girls, who bear the same destiny as they do.” What the hell, Kyubey? You may be right, but that’s a rather hefty statement to use against two girls grieving over a friend. Well. It seems that Kyubey is leaving to search for other girls to contract. That’s… rather mercenary of you, Kyubey. You’re just going to leave what I can only assume is a day after Mami’s death to find another magical girl? I understand the witches need to be fought, but that’s colder than I thought you’d be. I’m not sure what to think right now. Well, at least he’s apologizing for getting them involved to this point. Goodbye, Rabbit-Thing. I’d say goodbye, but I honestly have no idea if we’re going to see you later. Seriously, I have no idea. I mean, we’re four episodes into a twelve episode show, and I don’t think the other two-thirds are going to just be about our two characters walking around school while having PSTD flashbacks. But then again, I didn’t call the last episode, so who the hell knows.

“I’m sorry.” Aw no. We’re at Mami’s door. And Madoka’s ringing the bell. I don’t think anyone’s going to answer, honey. Inside the theme’s picked up by bells as Madoka’s silhouette puts her notebook of magical girl costumes on the table, before she starts to cry again and apologize for being so weak. She leaves Homura. Now is not the time. Stay away from my babies. Wait. What’s going on? “You’re blaming yourself too much for this, Madoka Kaname. No one could criticize you for anything you’ve done. And even if they did I wouldn’t permit it.” Um. What? Where did this come from? With Mami and Kyubey gone, do you not see Madoka as a threat anymore? Where did this ‘permit’ stuff come from? Ah, ok. Homura knows that Madoka’s realized the danger now, doesn’t need to make heavy-handed “back off or your family gets it” threats anymore. Huh. I… did not see this coming. Homura and Madoka are talking, and instead of Homura being all spooky and mysterious she’s… actually being calm. Mami didn’t heed her warning, but Madoka’s safe from the danger now. “I was able to change yours (fate).” This is actually a really impressive twist. Sure, Homura may still be focused on her own power, but it seems she can tolerate others if they don’t interfere in her plans. If Madoka’s not going to make a contract, then she really isn’t a threat to her ambitions. It’s one thing to deal with people who mess up your plans, it’s another to target innocents. And Homura seems to not want to cross that line. ...maybe I was a little too quick to put Homura on the List? But then again, Madoka’s the protagonist. If Homura’s up to what I think she is (summon the Flying Thing from the vision to increase her power), then I doubt Madoka’s going to just stand by even if she’s scared now. Which would interfere with Homura. Welp, whatever will come later, at least now Homura’s being less overtly evil. Let’s enjoy it for now. Now that the two are talking, Madoka’s taking the chance to ask Homura about her time as a magical girl. Has she seen death like yesterday? “Yes.” “How many?” “Too many to try keeping count of anymore.” Aaand creepy music’s back. Madoka’s wondering about Mami’s apartment, and wow that’s rather blunt, Homura. Mami had no close relations (orphan confirmed). It’ll be a long time before anyone other than our characters notice she’s missing and file a report on her. ...wait, wasn’t she a student at the school? I’d think the attendance officer might have something to say about that. Aw, and since Mami died in a labyrinth her body stayed there. So even when a report is filed there will be no one to find. “In this world, she will simply remain a missing person forever.” I get that she was your rival and thus in your way, Homura, but could you show a little tact? Madoka just lost a new friend in a gruesome way. “That is the end that all magical girls meet.” And we’re back to the Philosophy of Homura that I’m gathering: Magical girls are rivals for power and thus obstacles to be removed. Non-MGs are to be warned away from the path, if they contract then they are obstacles, but if they do not then they are no threat and can be tolerated. And now I’m remembering that it was Homura placing the Grief Seed at the hospital that resulted in Mami’s death. Not sure if she thought she could deal with the resulting Witch before any bystanders got hurt or just didn’t care in order to ‘remove’ Mami. Back on the List you go. Madoka’s crying again at Homura’s frank descriptions. Mami fought to protect the city, not just gather Grief Seeds. And to have her ‘reward’ be obscurity… Homura’s talking about that being the cost of the Wish, that it can’t be helped. “I won’t forget… I’ll never forget about Mami!” Yes. YES. You tell her, Madoka! Screw Homura’s bleak outlook, you’re the Protagonist! So what if Homura is an experienced Magical Girl who defeated the Witch that killed your friend. Homura backs down in the face of Madoka’s optimism, saying something placating about how that will make Mami happy. “I envy her.” Wow. Ok, this episode is making me rethink my opinion of Homura. I mean, I still hold her earlier threats against her and that she caused Mami’s death, but we’ve seen that being a magical girl is no cakewalk. Without anyone to talk to like Mami had Kyubey, she “You too, Homura!” What. “I swear I’ll never forget you either!” Homura. Homura, the all-loving Protagonist Madoka is offering you friendship. This is your chance to not go and summon the Flying Thing. Please, pull a Viral, you can still join the good girls. Homura has a very blank face. I don’t think she can process this thing humans call “friendship”. Aw. She just clenched her fist. She isn’t going to go for it, is she? “You’re too kind for your own good.” Yup, she’s back to being the mysterious lone magical girl. Hairflip, warning that being kind in this Urobuchi world may lead to greater tragedy, and away she walks. Madoka’s left standing on the bridge. Back at the hospital! Sayaka’s visiting Kamijo again, who’s listening to “The Girl With the Flaxen Hair.” Good taste! We’re getting some character development as Sayaka talks about her listening to classical music, how she was taught by Kamijo. Daw, that’s cute and explains how they met. Wait. “Are you torturing me?” What are you ta- Oh. Oh no. We know that Kamijo’s injured and can’t play, and probably will never play again. We saw him crying the last time Sayaka visited him when he listened to music. Sayaka’s been trying to cheer him up, but instead it’s just highlighting that he can’t perform what he’s listening to. Ouch. Kamijo’s freaking out now as he’s yelling about he can’t stand listening to things the accident has barred him from following again, he smashes the CD player and there’s blood on the sheets, Sayaka’s grabbed his arm and he can’t even feel the pain of the cuts. Sayaka’s trying to calm him down, saying that someday they’ll find a treatment. “They said that I had no chance of ever performing again.” Whoa. Ok, whichever doctor said that to a patient is in dire need of remedial training, and secondly this is a super high-tech and advanced city compared to our own, you can’t just say “Oh, there’s no way that technology could ever solve this current problem.” Science doesn’t work like that, it keeps going until somebody finds a solution. “He said that with current medicine, it just wasn’t possible.” Right, that’s exactly my point! Current medicine sucks, it’s the medicine of tomorrow that is awesome! Hold up. “Not until the day miracles or magic start existing in this world.” Ah. AH. She’s going to do it, calling it now. Sayaka’s going to Wish for a treatment for Kamijo’s hand and become a Magical Girl. And then Sayaka becoming a MG will prompt Madoka to help her friend, and the two will become the new protectors of Anime City. And then Homura will get ticked, and the show will continue. Oh boy. “Miracles… and magic… are real!” Title drop! And Kamijo’s probably thinking that Sayaka’s trying too hard right now. If you only knew, boy… Kyubey! You’re back! I guess I underestimated you, good to see you again. Let’s get to Wishing! Later that night, it seems Madoka’s walking around bummed that Homura didn’t want to make friendship bracelets. Hey, it’s Hitomi, the NPC friend of the trio! How are you doing? Wait, what’s with the blank look and sudden gong? And the tattoo on her neck AAAAAAH IT’S A WITCH’S KISS NO NO NO Hitomi’s speaking in an airy voice, going somewhere “far better than here”. Yeah, she is totally mind-controlled. Damn it, we need Sayaka to make that contract and help out Hitomi now. Wait, now she’s telling Madoka to follow along. Madoka, no. You have no powers and a Witch is clearly involved. Flag down a cop, and tell them that you think your friend is high on something, get them to detain her. But whatever you do do not follow! Great, you’re following the the prancing hypnotized girl to “somewhere better”. Isn’t the whole point of Witch Kisses to drive people to their labyrinth’s for suicides and murders? Madoka, you following along is less than useless, you’re only putting yourself in danger. Leave and get someone else! Call Sayaka, there’s no way you don’t have her phone-number, tell her to call the cops while you follow from a safe distance. Hell, yell for Homura! “Hey Mysterious Transfer Student, my friend is being controlled by a Witch! Follow us if you want another Grief Seed! And, you know, don’t let innocents die?” Ooooh crapbaskets. There are more people, a lot of Shufflers around them now. And now Madoka’s beating herself up for not having Homura’s number. Ok, maybe I’m being a bit unfair, you only just realized she wasn’t planning to kill now that you’ve renounced the power. Now they’re inside some sort of warehouse, as a man mutters about how he couldn't keep a factory running. CRAP the gate just shut. Madoka’s trapped in a building full of Shufflers and presumably nearby a Witch’s labyrinth. I believe the technical term for this is FUBAR. Why is a lady carrying a bucket? And setting the bucket down? What is she pouring into the bucket, and why does it look like this other man has a container of gas? Flashback! (colors are a big contrast to the green of Creepy Factory) Mother is teaching Madoka to differentiate between two sorts of bottles, “or the results could be fatal.” Aw crud, whatever these chemicals are causes a fire or toxic gas or something, right? The entire factory of Shufflers is going to die. (Homura, Sayaka, pretending-to-be-dead-for-some-reason-but-really-alive Mami, anyone?) Madoka rushes forward OUCH she just got struck in the midriff by psycho Hitomi, preventing her from getting closer. She tries to warn that the chemicals are dangerous, and Hitomi’s all “Uh, yeah? That’s the point, we’ll die and go to a new world.” Heaven’s nice and all, Hitomi, but you aren’t supposed to take shortcuts! The Shufflers’ are applauding Hitomi’s witch-induced speech, Madoka breaks free and grabs the Death Bucket, throwing it out the window. Yes! Wait, no! The Shufflers’ are pissed, and going full-on zombie as they chase her. Window’s locked, got to find another way door! Get in get in get in lock it whew. Ok, she’s stuck in some sort of closet, but at least the Shufflers can’t get her. Wait, NO! Art’s going trippy, weird sounds and music, WITCH! Madoka’s in the Labyrinth! Sayaka, Homura, ANYONE! Trippy TVs in the background, monochrome angle-fairies grabbing her, she’s screaming and her artwork’s going all wobbly JEBUS she just got ripped apart! … What the hell is wrong with this show? Mami the Awesome dies in Episode 3, and the title character dies in Episode 4?! Wait, it’s still going. Flickering lights, MADOKA! She’s not dead, I don’t think, she’s just drawn without borders now and part of me is impressed with this art style even as the rest of me is screaming in horror that Madoka is trapped in the Labyrinth. She’s stuck spinning around as the angel-fairies shows televisions with Mami’s final battle, their conversation, and her death. This is hell. That’s the only way to describe it. Madoka’s stuck on her own, floating around helplessly as she’s tormented by Mami’s fate. She’s calling herself a coward and liar, thinks that this is a fitting punishment, NO. NO NO NO. Screw you, Witch, you let Madoka go right now. The angel-fairies are pulling her again, she’s screaming again, I can’t Blue light? Lasers? Madoka’s free and the Witch Computer With Wings got smashed, Madoka glitched back to her standard art form and is looking around in confusion. Sayaka?! Sayaka in a cape, moving incredibly fast smashing up the larger angel-fairies, guess that answers the question “did she become a Magical Girl”, I think she’s using a sword as she slams the Witch into the ground and suddenly Homura and she looks pissed. Aw crap. It’s like I thought. If the girls didn’t contract then she would tolerate them, but now Sayaka’s become a Magical Girl. Homura’s new territory is being competed for again. Hitomi’s on the ground as are all the other Shufflers, Sayaka’s apologizing for taking so long to get there. Hey, that’s the outfit from the poster! Madoka is understandably worried about Sayaka becoming a Magical Girl, but Sayaka’s brushing it off and saying she did pretty good for a first Witch battle. Aw crap. Homura’s here, back in the shadows. Sayaka calls her out for being late to the party. Cut to Kamijo, I’m guessing the doctor’s about to come in and apologize for doubting the scientific method. Or Kamijo will just raise his hand and curl his fingers. Oh. Um. So. Sayaka just wished for his hand to be healed. Aw crap. Ok, look, I know it sounds bad when I say that, that I’m making light of a musician regaining the ability to play. But. This wish was shown to heal fatal injuries in Mami’s case, so we can assume that it would be powerful enough to heal a ‘lesser’ injury like Kamijo’s, where his life wasn’t at risk. My question is this: would the wish have worked for a general cure to be discovered, instead of just instant inexplicable healing? That way it could have a reasonable explanation for the doctors and could be applied to other people. This case has just one person benefit, it can’t be replicated (unless another girl makes a contract), and now the doctors are going to be trying to figure out what the hell happened. I know I’ve got the privilege of an outside view, but to me this seems a shortsighted use of a Wish. But of course, it makes sense if we think about Mami’s warning, about using a Wish for another person. Sayaka may not really mean for it to heal the argument between her and Kamijo, but I don’t think he’s going to make the leap in logic that the girl who was talking about miracles and magic earlier was the one who healed him. I… don’t see this ending well. Wait, new person? Eating a burrito or something. Kyubey, hey! Wait, why are you talking to the Food Person? Aparently she heard that “Mami had bought it”, that indicates an outside Magical Girl moving in on the territory. Great, another competitor, I’m sure Homura will love that. Hey, red hair! (I’m sure Tephi liked seeing that) And sharp teeth for some reason. Yup, confirmed for magical girl. Who is now chewing out Kyubey for telling her that the territory is now taken. Oh, so that’s what he was up to between leaving the girls and going back to Sayaka. Aaawkward. Well, Food Girl is annoyed that the territory has been claimed. (Name of Kyoko). And oh shit she’s going to “put the new girl out of commission.” Aw crap, now Sayaka’s got two MG’s going after her between Homura and Kyoko. Wait, sudden flash of smile and word “permanently”. Well, I guess I can’t fault you for confidence. I mean, I’m pissed that you’re targeting my babies, but I’ll give you that. End of episode and driving credits music! Ok, now that my emotions are slightly better than last time, let’s take a closer look. Driving music, glitchy silhouette of Madoka walks past one of a short-haired girl who I think is Sayaka, then a long-haired girl (Kyoko?), Mami sitting down (I miss you, shortest ship ever), another silhouette who- turns and reaches out to Madoka? Wait, is that Homura? She’s the only other MG we’ve seen, so I guess so, but why is she the only one to move? Cut and now Madoka’s form is running then disappears into the distance, an eye opens with a curled up Madoka as the pupil, then fades into a facelike thing before it all fizzled out. Illustration of Madoka in her MG outfit, voice-over of Sayaka getting excited about being a magical girl, taking up Mami’s role as protector of Mitakihara City. Argh, but that title! “There’s No Way I’ll Ever Regret It” Argh no why. Well. I have thoughts on episode, need to really think about Homura’s character development and the impact of this new girl (who Kyubey brought here, I’m not sure what to think about that), but there’s one thing I need to say before I end this section. I WAS RIGHT! Yes, being a magical girl has its risks, and now Sayaka has to deal with an annoyed Homura and this Kyoko girl. BUT. I said it before, the Witches are still out there, and not being a magical girl means that you have no defenses, as we saw with Hitomi. And being a potential contractee like Madoka may be even worse, she could see what was going on but was still trapped in the labyrinth and would have died if Sayaka hadn’t become a Magical Girl and saved her. If last episode was “Why Not to Become A Magical Girl”, then this episode was “Why You Really Do Have To Become A Magical Girl”. Do I have my problems with Sayaka’s Wish? Yes, and unless we get some information next episode to explain that my interpretation is completely wrong about not being for general use then I don’t see that changing. But becoming a Magical Girl in and of itself, getting the power to defend herself, Madoka, Hitomi, and other innocents? That I can wholeheartedly approve of. 

[luirlar]

Woah, we are so close to the double-feature season 2 finale. Can y’all believe?! And it’s gonna hurt soooo good.

‘In Extremis’ has some very good, some very weird, and some very stressful. A lot of ups and downs, we’ll see how the review goes. On the one hand, we get a very Fusco-centric episode which I had been waiting for since the dawn of time. That was amazing, and stressful but in a good way, and gave way for great character development for Carter too, and for their friendship. On the other hand, the number of the week is not likeable enough to carry his own plot successfully, in my opinion. And on yet another, third alien hand, Reese and especially Finch act kind of out of character. Or really out of character, depending on who you ask.

CW brief emotional abuse

I have watched the whole show before, so SPOILERS MIGHT HAPPEN. Big spoilers will be blanked out but references and irrelevant spoilers are going to be out in the open.

[2011] Remember when Fusco had to bury a really good friend of his in the Pilot? Probably not, because back then Lionel was a dirty cop we didn’t give a shit about. But we open on a flashback to when John killed Detective Stills and gets Fusco to go bury him. We see Fusco clearly overwhelmed and crying on Still’s corpse.  I know he fucked up a lot, and his friend was a manipulative asshole, but still, Lionel cared about him, and burying friends doesn’t sound pleasant. 

Alonzo Quinn is having the fucking nerve to speak at Beecher’s funeral, quoting Plato and pretending to be hurt and surprised at the “injustice”. Fusco goes after Simmons and threatens him, which is cute. I say “cute” because, as much as I love him, what is Fusco gonna do against HR, when HR has all the power? Piss them off is what he does. And so they tip off Internal Affairs about his involvement in Stills’ disappearance.

Poor Fusco, he didn’t even kill Stills. And poor Carter, first her friend gets shot by HR, then her cutiepie boyfriend also gets shot by HR, and now her cop partner is being investigated in relation to HR. And then Finch needs a favor. But Carter says NOT TODAY, SATAN, and I love it! Finch always asks for things, and Carter obliges, but now she needs a favor, and has no time for that irrelevant (geddit?) doctor. She wants in on the phone cloning thing. Yessss Carter, do your thing.

As the IAB (Internal Affairs) guy continues to interrogate Fusco about his “adventures” with Stills, we get flashbacks throughout the episode. [2004] Fusco is at a bar, drunk off his mind. His wife just told him to fuck off forever. Life’s not going well. Stills comes in, offers him to stay with him and his family, drives him to safety. “What are friends for?” he says. 

The number in this episode is Richard Nelson, a big shot heart surgeon who gets poisoned before Harry and John get his number, and now he has 24 hours to help solve his own murder. This is a fun trope that got wasted on a very dull character, in my opinion. His daughter doesn’t get along with him? I don’t care. He divulged private information to the wrong people? I don’t care. He is dying ASAP in front of John? I don’t care. There is something about his relationship with his daughter that feels true for my relationship with my dad, so it touched my heart a little bit, but not enough.

[2004] Stills manipulates Fusco into covering up for murder like it’s a one time thing, a mistake, a favor for a friend. The way Stills talks to Fusco is extremely manipulative and emotionally abusive. I hate him a lot.

The doctor and John track down the trader who made money off the doctor’s accidental tip. John knocks him out and cuffs him to the backseat with the doc.

Now here is when shit starts to feel a tiny bit out of character. John drives while the doctor interrogates the trader with a gun aimed at his crotch, which he fires at the seat every time the trader doesn’t answer. Now, I can sort of buy that John feels okay handing a doctor a gun because the doctor would not shoot to kill. I wouldn’t bet on my spy(dey) senses tingling (geddit?) so hard, but maybe I buy it. But I wouldn’t bet a collateral’s life on a dying, trembling, angry man aiming correctly, even if he doesn’t mean to harm. So that feels weird.

[2005] Fusco gets dragged into another drug stint that’s going terribly, and tells Stills that he is done helping him. Stills snaps back that it’s too late for that. And then an armed guy comes in out of nowhere, and as a reaction, Fusco shoots and kills him.  Stills: See? I knew you were solid. *Slips money in his pocket* Welcome to the crew, Lionel. And honestly, the score for this show is impeccable as always. You can feel Lionel’s descent into a darkness that he did not choose or saw the full extent of, a deep darkness he was always just aware enough of for it to eat him alive, but not enough to get out of. Eventually my guess is he just shut it down. Which doesn’t excuse it, but man, I still feel sad for him. 

IAB is closing in on Fusco with evidence, with a possible location for Stills’ body. They are dragging up all these things that Fusco did, and Carter is listening in with the phone cloning thing Harold let her use.

She confronts Lionel about what she’s heard, about what he’s done. Lionel confesses that while he didn’t kill Stills, he deserves to be busted for all the other shit he’s done. Kevin Chapman fucking wins in this episode, looking genuinely mortified, like he’s shut those feelings down but now they’re coming back up. First he stole, then he covered for murder, then he did some bumping off himself. Carter is very distraught and disturbed, so she asks him to stop, and he does. Will she help him, even though she now knows he murdered people? Does she trust that he’s changed enough? I need my cinnamon rolls to trust each other unconditionally, but that kind of trust is very rare on this show.

And now for more shady/out of character moments: at some point in their revenge expedition, the doctor looks like he is about to expire. What does John do? He gets him out of the car in the snowy middle of the road, injects him with what I’m guessing is adrenaline, and tells him he can’t die because their mission isn’t finished. Why is John doing this? He can’t know the doctor well enough to know that’s what he would want to do. Is it because they weren’t on time (probably because the Machine keeps glitching and being late) and he has Feelings about that? That’s a shitty selfish reason, so I hope that’s not it. The doc could be spending his last day with his daughter, or having a few drinks with friends, or something. But John has been pushing the doctor to seek revenge in a way that feels cruel, unnecessary and more about him than about the number. Blergh.

We knew the ending from the get-go, but obviously the doctor dies. But not before poisoning the guy who killed him first. And again I have to ask, who is this John Reese that’s okay with justice via killing? Where is Harold ‘pretentious moral high ground’ Finch? I know John can go very dark places and I personally don’t care they killed the bad guy, but this is weird for them. Anyway, I’ll leave that storyline with this angel-of-death type scene that John has with the doctor, like the Machine has with so many people in season 5.

Later that day, Carter calls John to ask what he’s doing about Fusco’s situation. John replies that he is working, and that he can’t decide for Joss what to do. Yea ok, John, but a tiny bit of concern in your voice would help me believe your body hasn’t been hijacked by heartless aliens. Like, I get the sense from how he sasses out to Carter – sarcastically saying that things are usually very black and white in her book, etc – that he “knows” she’ll make the “right choice”, but he keeps betting on his *knowing* things he doesn’t actually know, and betting big. Fusco is not only a great asset, but a friend who has proven he’s not only willing but capable of changing. Why is John being a dick, then?

IAB takes Fusco out to Oyster Bay, where he buried Stills after John killed him. Fusco looks understandably ready for doom, and is dousing his own brain in self-loathing.  Everything is so close to Fusco’s ass he can probably feel it burning.

And Finch! Where is Finch this entire episode? He isn’t researching anything anymore, he’s not talking John out of his selfish ridiculous revenge crusade with the doctor, and he’s not helping Fusco, as far as anyone can tell. This is very out of character, and very ugly.

The IAB looks into some loose soil where a body used to be, but there is no body. Somebody moved it, and Fusco (and Simmons! Mwahaha!) looks as surprised as everybody else.

Fusco is off the hook for now, and sees Joss at the precinct. She says they can catch up later, since she’s had a long day. What about this day has consumed her so? Well…

She was the one to move the body! And it was the right thing to do, for her, so don’t even try to fight me, this was a natural escalation in her character development. She was supposed to move the body (hey-ohh! shout out to Buffy fans!). The weight of the world, sitting tight but heavy in the shoulders of a black woman. If this is not A Moment, I don’t know what is.

After all that excitement and distress, and I’m not even done yet. As you may have noticed, the Machine has been giving them numbers (Szymanski, Beecher, the doctor) too late, and the blue screens of death have been escalating in frequency. What does it all mean? Well, we’re about to find out, ’cause the Machine seems to be having a harder time than usual right now. Just look at this mess:

Shutting down?? My baby?? WHYYYYYY??

Don’t worry, we find out why in a bit. And by a bit I mean in the next episode or two.

Today I (re)watch: Person of Interest, 2.20 Woah, we are so close to the double-feature season 2 finale. Can y'all believe?! And it's gonna hurt soooo good.