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jillianallen14 · 3 years

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Spirk fanfic rec

Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):

Entering Orbit: Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words

Papers in the Roadside: Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words

Take Refuge in What You Know: AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words

Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.

Observations: First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.

So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol.

Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves: The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words

Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.

Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans: The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words

Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one.

The Ren shat’var Trilogy: A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words

Textual Attraction: Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words

SO GOOD. Just SO good

Spaceman: Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words

Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.

Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words

Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one

All Spock Wants For Christmas: While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words

And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol

The Morning After: Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words

HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny.

Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home): In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words

Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.

Extracurricular Activities: Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words

Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words

This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock.

A Habitual Affection: Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words

A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one.

Atlas: Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words

A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.

#spirk #spock #kirk #james t kirk #spock/kirk #kirk/spock #star trek #star trek tos #star trek aos #space husbands #spirk fanfic recs #spirk fanfic

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inkofamethyst · 2 years

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May 16, 2022

You know I relate to Lin Manuel Miranda because I, too, don’t have that great of a singing voice but boy howdy I sure do love me a good solo.

I’m writing this research paper and it’s meant to be twelve to twenty pages long and I really do not know what I am doing. How did I, once awarded the Senior of the Year in English thing or whatever (alongside my puzzle-friend), end up here? It’s meant to be mostly regurgitation, but there’s no rubric or anything so I get the feeling that it’ll be graded based on vibes and effort. I’m cutting it a little close but I’ll get it done. I always do.

I literally never see the windows open from the rooms across from me which like,,, on some level I get it bc privacy but their rooms aren’t situated like mine, so they only have the one window and I simply cannot fathom keeping the blinds closed literally all the time on my only window. Man I love my room so much.

I think one of the biggest things I learned from PJO/HOO was that anyone could be a hero. Age, gender, stereotypes, learning ability/disability, economic class... those things didn’t matter. Even Paul Blofis, a dude without a magic bone in his body, was able to help in the Battle of Manhattan. As a ten year old, seeing kids with dyslexia and adhd use those “disabilities” to their advantage as a literal cannon aspect of the story was so so cool despite myself not having either. I’m literally so excited for the series.

Not gonna lie though,,,,, it’s a little bit funny to me that nobody’s up in arms over Grover being nonwhite when he was white (I’m almost definitely sure lil goat dude was a redhead... like that feels like a description from really really early on that I recall reading, like when they were on the bus or somethin) in the books. Y’all boutta tear your throats to shreds arguing over hair colors but have no problem seeing a goat-man as nonwhite? Hasn’t it been shown that the depiction of poc as non-human/animal characters has a lil bit of uhhh racist undertones? Now, I’m happy for the kid, don’t get me wrong. I’m just saying that a lot of people’s true colors are showing both from what they’re arguing about and what they’re not mentioning at all. “Oh ya it was really easy for me to picture Grover as nonwhite” and why exactly is that, hm?

I’m making a list of WTNV episodes that could be good for someone to listen to for their first ever WTNV thing. Now, I, personally, was hooked by episode 1, but I think there are definitely some better monologues that Cecil’s performed. I don’t want there to be character arcs (not that one Lee Marvin episode), no major plot developments (no Desert Bluffs)...

Episode 22 (The Whispering Forest) for the opener, 62 for the but no I can’t bc Maureen leaves and that’s a spoiler, 54 (A Carnival Comes to Town) for just one line but it’s got the right amount of creepy, I would do episode 60 but it doesn’t mention weather by name and goes a bit out of the formula so not that one, not 56 bc spoilers, not the episodes about You or Them because even though they’re fantastic they go outside of the normal formula, ... I think of the ones I’ve listed as having cool quotes, E22 and E54 are probably best to show newcomers.

Speaking of podcasts I’m watching CR c3e22 and the whole conversation around 3:19:00 where they’re using edging to describe Chetney’s feral reaction has me in TEARS AND MATT JUST WON’T STOP THEM

...what if I made my dad a Star Trek apron... hmm. And since we’re on the topic of sewing I’ve got this lovely pink linen blend at home that I’ve known for ages was going to become a bishop-sleeved blouse (maybe princess-seamed, like KittenishBehavior’s Shirt of Dreams? (I do think I’d prefer the tucked-in look, so that might be what I go for, we’ll see)) but every once in a while I start to think well what if I used it for something else (what if it was a tank dress with princess seams (I don’t tend to wear light-colored dresses (...but then I’d have two ways to style it (that assumes I’d even have enough fabric for a dress))), what if it was a half circle skirt (I prefer darker bottoms though), what if it was a chemise-style top (I think I want one in white first)). And I take myself through a bunch of projects on my list but always return back to the same original idea. I guess sometimes you just find fabric that fits a project really really well.

Today I’m thankful that I’ll have the opportunity later this week to visit a smivy smeage lab. There’s the remote possibility that I could intern there this summer, but I’m not really holding my breath over it. I’ve never stepped foot onto an ivy league campus before so this should be interesting. I also get to ride a train up there which will be dope!! It’ll be a whole day trip on my own, really.

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buckstaposition · 4 years

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I cling to your lips like gloss (2)

a Javier Peña x OFC story

also on AO3

author: @youhavereachedtheendofpie (in case u wanna come say hello on main but no pressure)

rating/warnings: swearing, mentions of character death, some mentions of sexual situations but nothing explicit, spoilers for season 2 (should probably have tagged ch1 for this too oops)

words: 6607, no regrets

summary: it’s not a date if it’s for work

Author’s note: There is so much research that went into this I would just like to say thank you internet for letting me look up stuff from the comfort of my own home at unholy hours even though I did get very distracted while looking up late 80s wedding dress fashion. Also bless the s2 dvd extra which was a director’s commentary on s2 ep10 and very informative.

—

Tag list: @keeper0fthestars @opheliaelysia @dindjarindiaries @fromthedeskoftheraven @shikin83

(message me if you want to be added to the list. or just message me in general)

and also I urge you to look at the beautiful moodboard that @huliabitch made for me! I love it so much!

Masterlist

Prologue

Chapter 1 - The Informant

Chapter 2 - A Wedding and Four Funerals

"All the best from Mr DEA." Diana said as she threw herself down in the seat across from her best friend. Gabriela looked effortlessly glamourous as usual, even though she was just in a blouse and jeans. She just had that air about her, like one of the vintage movie stars, something Diana had never quite been able to match. She was well aware she was downright frumpy in comparison, not one to catch eyes just by walking past. For the most part, that suited her. Gabi tried to seem nonchalant about the greeting.

"Oh?" She sipped gingerly from her drink and put her menu away. "You finally met, then? He's back?"

Diana nodded and stowed away her purse and cardigan. "Yeah, this afternoon and yesterday, in the morning. He seems... nice enough? I don't know. Not a talker, is he? He seems a bit on edge, to be honest. Though I suppose that's to be expected." But despite everything, he still has kindness in his eyes.

Gabi just grinned at her for a long moment, waiting to pounce.

"Yeah, he can be a bit of a grump. ...Handsome though, no?"

Diana sighed, swatting at the other woman with her own menu. "Did it ever occur to you that the newly divorced woman might have had her fill of men for the time being?"

"It has occcurred to me that five years of unchanging, uninspired missionary for half an hour exactly, twice a week, with that wet blanket you married might have left you with the need to really be filled by a man for once."

"Gabriela!" she gasped, choking on thin air and mortification, even though their conversations would often get way more explicit than this. Just never with her being the subject. Gabriela just smiles like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, hailing a waiter to give him their order.

"Speaking of newly divorced: has the dipshit finally signed the papers then?" Diana groaned, throwing her glasses down onto the table to massage her temples.

"No, he's dragging his feet. Which is ridiculous, it's not like I want anything from him. It's not like we're fighting tooth and nail over every other thing, like that American movie, the one we watched on your mom's old VHS player, you know? With Meryl Streep? In any case, now he decides to fight? If you can call that fighting."

"Kramer vs Kramer." Gabi remarked sagely. "Yeah... At least you don't have children together. That could really have gone ugly. I still don't know what you ever saw in that man."

"Oh shut it. I used to be fond of Juan Mateo; I don't know when that changed." Diana huffed, quickly snatching up her glasses when the waiter sailed over with their drinks and appetizer.

"Well that's the problem, you never loved him! And your parents set too good an example; what could ever live up to that?" She took a generous drag from her drink, then dug into the food with hungry abandon. "At least you're finally rid of his snoring. And his mother."

"God, she really hated me. Couldn't bear it that her precious boy brought some lowly scum from the comunas into her pristine middle class home. Marrying me might have just been the only demonstration of free will that man has ever managed." Diana allowed herself to seethe a bit at the memory, taking it out on her food as she stabbed at it roughly. "And I will definitely not miss the snoring."

"Mr DEA barely snores." Gabriela remarked lightly. "Just ...very softly. It's quite cute."

"Since when do you let clients stay to actually sleep?" Diana inquired around a mouthful, brows scrunched. Gabriela hummed thoughtfully, swiping some sauce off her plate with a piece of bread.

"Ah, but he was so tired, poor thing. It wouldn't have been safe to send him back out, he would have crashed his car and died in a ditch somewhere, which would have been a real shame. I just let him nap for an hour or so that one time. Besides, I wasn't in any state to do much myself after he blew my back out." She had a way of being so nonchalant about these things that Diana supposed came from a sort of professional equanimity. Diana possessed no such poise and gawked openly, the wheels turning in her head as she recalled previous conversations and connected dots.

"Oh." She breathed as realization hit. "Oh! No! That was him? You're kidding me. How am supposed to look him in the eye now?" Gabi was already cackling, barely able to hold her laughter as Diana sputtered, recalling the very detailed recounting she'd received after the night in question. "You said you felt that for days after!"

"I did, but it was worth it." Gabi was now subtly holding her sides, having pushed her empty plate away to be collected. "You see, you're my dearest and oldest friend and I only want the best for you."

"I'm sure Mr DEA would be delighted to know of your crude attempts to pimp him out." Diana snarked, pushing her own plate to the side just in time to be whisked away by the waiter. "You're incorrigible. This is serious. Besides, I think he really liked you, actually."

"He liked the illusion of intimacy, like most of my clients. Lonely but with committment issues to the moon and back. It's not like I'm telling you to marry him. I'm just trying to get you properly laid for once." Gabriela scoffed. She could be so detached sometimes. In fact, one could call it downright cynical. But Diana had known her since they were both in pigtails and could detect the care behind even the most jaded words.

"Oh whatever. I request a change of topic. How's your book coming along? Any progress on that chapter that's been giving you so much trouble?" Diana asked sweetly, making the other woman glare at her over the plates with their main courses as they were being set down. Because yes, Gabriela does indeed write more than letters, and she's good, too. Also, two can play this game of being just slightly mean.

--- --- ---

Javier hated team meetings. And now that he was the boss here he couldn't even get out of them. Worse, he had to lead them. He looked over the assembled agents, glad that he had most of their names down by now. Gladder still that this was a DEA-only event and he wouldn't have to deal with any of Stechner's CIA asswads for now.

"Duffy, where are we on the shipments?" He turned to the other man expectantly. Duffy was one of the few agents here that weren't younger than him; he actually had some experience under his belt, unlike all these fucking greenhorns the higher-ups had sent him. He forced himself to pay attention to Agent Duffy's answer, making notes of important dates as he listened. Operation Cornerstone had, at this point, not yet come to full fruition, but if they continued to put in their due dilligence it was almost certain to turn up something useful. When they'd gone through all the points on his agenda, and after clearing up a few uncertainties, he dismissed the roomful of agents.

"Duffy, got another moment?" Javier stopped the other agent as he turned to leave the conference room.

"Sir?" Duffy sat back down and pulled his writing pad back out.

"Have you come up with any ideas for my informant in Calí?" Javier had mentioned this before, seeing as Duffy was one of the agents permanently stationed at the Calí field office. Now that Escobar was gone it would look suspicious if the head of the DEA in the country trekked up to Medellín every other week, and they needed a better way for Miss Rivas to hand over her collected intel. Duffy cleared his throat and caught the eye of one of his colleagues and waved him over.

"Lopez here has had a few ideas, sir. Tony, tell the boss your ideas for drop-offs."

The other agent was younger, handsome in that pretty way that made girls sigh dreamily, going by his own, admittedly remote, memory of high school and college. Lopez hadn't said much during the meeting, but had that eager glint in his eyes that said he wanted to prove himself. Javier had had that same look when he first came down here; it hadn't survived the first year.

"Let's hear it."

"Okay, so I was thinking the public library might be worth a shot." Agent Lopez pulled a notepad from his own case, squinting down at the scrawled chickenscratch. Javier nodded along, encouraging more than praise. He'd have to run these ideas by Miss Rivas anyway, and if she had concerns they were back at square one. But that was a river he intended to cross when the time came and not a second earlier.

--- --- ---

The satphone was also a good instinct because after their preliminary meetings in April, it gets irritatingly difficult to arrange another one for over a month.

"The what now?"

"The 4th International Poetry Festival. It's on from June 2nd to 8th." she explained patiently. "Orietta Lozano, Gloria Gervitz, Blanca Varela!"

"I assume those are poets."

"Obviously."

"You want me to go to a poetry festival with you?"

"No, I'm taking the week off and I'm going to the festival, and I am also free to meet you. I'm just suggesting that maybe your work hours don't all have to be spent in dreariness and drudgery." Something sizzled on the other end of the line where she was making herself dinner while talking to him, and it made Javier's stomach grumble. "A bit of culture is good for the soul, Agent Peña. You'll burn yourself out with how much you work. When was the last time you ever did anything for fun? Read a book? Hell, listened to music?"

Whenever you call me. She always had music on at home. It drifted through the receiver, a soothing background hum that was too soft to truly make out most times. Add to that the fact that he was still sitting in his office at almost half past seven in the evening, and he didn't have a proper counter-argument.

"Alright, fine. 2nd to 8th, I'll see what I can do."

--- --- ---

She was wearing another belted shirt dress, this one pale yellow and sleeveless, the full skirt reaching to just below the knees. It reminded Javier of the style his mother used to wear when he was little. Saturday, June 4th, had him meet up with Miss Rivas at the Teatro Metropolitano in central Medellín. Her dress contrasted against the blocky red building in a way that tugged familiar, but Javier was trying to train himself to not see blood in every instance of red.

"This is quite a way from Envigado." He announced his approach as soon as he was close enough to not have to shout. She jumped a bit, clearly startled, but her lips pulled into a polite smile when she recognized him.

"Agent Peña." She greeted. "No, cultural grandeur doesn't usually make it out to the comunas." She sat back down on the bench and pulled a flyer from her (rather big) purse, thumbing it pensively. Javier sat beside her, not quite at arms' length. Trying to appear wordlessly inviting, if only to mask how at a loss for words she made him feel. He seemed to be no longer used to normal, civil human interaction.

"Right, there is one reading here at the Metropol that starts in about half an hour that I think you might like. It has a few of the international poets; a few of them will be reading in English. Then there's another one later at the Teatro Carlos Vieco that I'm keen on. It's about half an hour on foot between locations, but there's the open air exhibits that only require a small detour." She pointed it all out on the program as she spoke, Javier silently nodding along in acknowledgement. "I've planned it so there's more than enough time for a lunch break. I hate having to rush through things that are meant to be enjoyed. I brought arepas, but there are usually enough street vendors out and about to get something else, if you prefer." She really did talk a lot. That was surprisingly fine by Javier, since it meant he didn't have to. "Though of course if you'd rather just get your intel and go I understand, but I must insist on at least this first reading, Agent Peña. But otherwise I wouldn't want to impose. I'm sure you have other things to do."

His lips twitched involuntarily and he held his hand out for the program flyer, silently reading it over. None of the names rung any kind of bell. Not that he was much of a poetry aficionado. "Sounds good to me."

She blinked. "Which part?"

He handed her back the flyer, which she took automatically, still eyeing him with uncertainty.

"All of it." She blinked again, looking mildly shocked, the flyer still dangling uselessly from her fingers. "Miss Rivas, I came all the way here and you went through all this trouble planning. It would be a waste to part ways after so short a time."

Truth be told it sounded ...nice. The thought of spending a day just exploring, letting work be work for even just a day (or at least part of it). Despite being an only child, he'd never liked being on his own even when he was young, cherishing every day spent with school friends or any of his numerous cousins. And it wasn't like he'd had to do far less pleasant things for information.

Her expression morphed from uncertain gaping into a wide, pleased smile that he couldn't help but mirror. Maybe she was quite a nice lady after all.

---

"...I have to ask though: What's a ...smit- ...smee-dereen?"

"Smithereens." Javier corrected gently as they exited the venue after the reading. "It means... it's all the small pieces that are left over when something is destroyed. Like with a bomb."

"Hmm," she hummed, pensive as they strolled along with the leisurely flow of the crowd, "I'll have to think a bit more about this." She fished around in her purse, producing bottled water and offering him one. He took it gratefully, unscrewing the cap and taking a sip. "How did you like it, Agent Peña? Already regretting agreeing to this?"

"No." Javier found himself replying perhaps a smidgeon too quickly. "No, it's very uh... enriching." And not what he'd expected at all. Though the festival was now in its fourth year running, he'd never had the chance or the wish, really, to attend it before. He'd barely taken note of its existence, too preoccupied with chasing down leads.

"Hm, you don't have to mollify me, Agent Peña. You'll still get your intel, don't worry." Her expression slipped, from an almost serene smile back into that underlying heaviness that he could identify only now that it had been lifted for a short while.

"Miss Rivas," he said earnestly, "I wouldn't lie to you. I'm just not that good with words. That's why I'm a government agent and not a poet."

That at least made her chuckle a bit. And it was true, too. He felt lighter, in a way, like his mind had been craving a break from the frustrating work of trying to find an in to take down the cartel. Even his shoulders felt less tense here. And it was a beautiful day, too. Warm but not too hot, sunny with a mild breeze. People were out and about around them, festival goers and other citizens alike, mingling freely with a carelessness that would have been unthinkable only a year prior.

"Juan Mateo never wanted to come with me to this." She gestured vaguely at the city and its people around them. "My husband. Ex-husband. Technically still husband because he won't sign the divorce papers." Her features turned tense as she explained, a slight frown appearing between her brows. "Not that it matters now, of course. But goodness, that man had no sense for these things. He thought top shelf coffee was the height of culture. He'd act like going out to a bar one evening every few weeks was a chore beyond compare. Such a martyr!" She huffed and Javier laughed softly, offering to take her bag for a while as she adjusted it on her shoulder for the third time now.

"No, that's alright. It's not heavy. This way." Her hand naturally slipped into the crook of his elbow to steer him down the side of the road and Javier faltered for a moment, cursing himself for wearing a short-sleeved shirt even though it was comfortably warm. He just didn't want to get separated in the bustle of activity, he reasoned. This was a perfectly tame and non-offensive gesture and it would be rude to flinch away, he reasoned. She initiated it, after all. No harm no foul. This was still a professional alliance.

"You think very loudly, Agent Peña." She remarked, lightly squeezing his elbow. "It better not be about work."

"Technically I am at work right now." He countered, covering her hand on his arm with his much larger one and giving it an awkward pat.

"Lucky you." She teased, lightly nudging his side with her elbow.

"Beats paperwork, that's for sure."

They ambled along, weaving through the crowds where they gathered in front of street performers and makeshift stages. Javier couldn't deny that it felt good to feel the sun on his skin, un-recycled air in his lungs; most of all being far away from Stechner and his legion of CIA goons was almost rejuvenating. They fell into a languid rhythm, walking leisurely and stopping every so often to linger a bit where music was being played or more poetry recited, in front of the stalls of local artisans or to look at the sculptures that had been put up as an open air exhibit throughout the city. Every so often, Miss Rivas would tell him some little anecdote, be it about any of the previous festivals or just the city itself. He barely felt the time pass.

By the time they'd made it across the river and to the park wherein the open-air theatre was situated, it was time for a late lunch and Javier felt his stomach start to protest, all that walking serving to work up an appetite.

"...and after school Gabi and I would trek across town to the library and hide by the shelves in the back, the ones with the old classics, and we'd read all the scandalous 19th-century novels about adulteresses and other fallen women. You know, Anna Karenina, Thérèse Raquin, Madame Bovary, Tess of the d'Urbervilles..." Miss Rivas set her bag down and produced a fairly big plastic container from within, setting it on the bench between them. "Perhaps not the most appropriate fare for a couple of fifteen-year-old girls, but it wasn't like we had a whole lot of supervision, you know? It definitely wasn't appropriate to read to a five-year-old, so I guess it's good that Maritza never really paid attention much- Stop my prattling any time, Agent Peña. I know I talk too much; Juan Mateo always used to say so."

Javier paused, an abundantly filled arepa inches from his mouth. "He what now?"

She flushed, looking down and picking at the wrapping paper she'd bundled the food up in. "It's fine, it's not a big deal, really."

"It's not fine." Javier insisted. Told her to shut up, told his own wife that she talked to much! What an ass. He started tearing into the arepa with a glower. They sat in silence for a while, chewing tensely in this little corner of the park at the foot of Cerro Nutibara, in a spot that was fairly hidden among the greenery while still affording a decent view of the city streets below. Javier didn't even know why it irked him so much. There were worse things out there than insensitive husbands. Ex-husbands at that. Still, he seethed quietly in his righteous wrath.

"Wanna see something funny?" She was already digging through her purse, so he didn't see much sense in replying. She pulled a photo from some deep compartment in her wallet, looking down at it thoughtfully for a moment before passing it to him. In his defence, Javier hadn't meant to laugh. It just came out, snorty and half-aborted.

"Hey, at least I managed to evade the poofy sleeves, okay? My mother was dead set on them. She wanted me to look like the English lady… uh, Princess Diana. I think she might have taken the name as a sign."

"That's a.. that's a lot of satin." And tulle. Javier pressed out, still suppressing his laughter and barely succeeding. He could have pointed out that the mass of ruffles negated any absence of actual puff sleeves, but thought it better to refrain. And it wasn't like she hadn't looked beautiful as a bride, it was more that in that ruffled satin-and-tulle concoction she looked like an unwilling dress-up doll, despite the tasteful off-the-shoulder cut and flattering waistline. It was just... there were a lot of ruffles. There was a lot of dress, period. Paired with an expression that was better suited to a funeral, the effect was almost morbidly comedic.

"Wait till I show you the cake; we were basically identical." It was the dryness of her tone that set him off. There was no suppressing it now, Javier was bellowing, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. It didn't help that the dress fashion hadn't really strayed very far from the 'bigger and more style' in the years since. All things considered, this was a comparatively simple gown, lacking the mass of sparkly appliqués and abundance of bows and flowers that had been popular in the latter years of the previous decade. It just wasn't a style that suited her personality in any way, at all. Her slender figure was absolutely drowned in the sheer volume of the skirt alone. Hell, it completely overshadowed the already forgettable man standing by her side in the photo. Though 'by her side' was a generous descriptor. There was definitely enough space for the Holy Spirit and then some between the couple.

"My mother spent ages on that damn dress. Her hands looked like pincushions by the time she was done; that's why she wore gloves to the wedding."

"She's a seamstress, right? Your mother?" She'd mentioned it in an offhand comment during one of their previous phone calls.

"She was." Diana confirmed, tucking the picture away again. "Didn't think you'd remember that."

"Of course. I listen to everything you tell me."

Diana chuckled, flushing lightly. "It's not even relevant to the case!"

"I listen to everything you tell me." Javier insisted and started gathering up wrapping paper and such to throw away. A quick look at his watch told him they'd have to get moving soon if they wanted to make it to the theatre on time to get decent seats.

"Right." Diana collected her things to stuff them back into her bag. "So it's a no for ruffles, but what would you have me wear, Agent Peña? What do you think suits me?"

Javier couldn't have told even the most skilled interrogation expert what exactly compelled him to answer, and so readily at that, why he had an opinion at the ready in the first place, or at least that's what he preferred to tell himself.

"I think... something soft and flowy, not a whole lot of embellishments, if any. Clear lines and a light fabric, something you can dance in and be comfortable. Definitely no more satin."

She laughed now, as well, eyes twinkling with what he thought was approval. "You are full of surprises. Should I ever get married again, I'll most certainly engage your services as designer, Agent Peña."

"I'll keep a spot open for you. First consultation is free."

---

How her hand can feel so natural there in the crook of his elbow after hardly a day, he cannot tell. All he knows is that by the time the reading at the open air theatre is done the sun has started to dip in the sky and if this was what his work was like more often he'd perhaps be happier in his workaholic ways. Though they haven't broached the topic of work in hours now, instead ambling half-aimlessly northward towards Conquistadores where he's parked his rental car at the hotel he's staying at. Because it is a long way to Envigado and he insisted on driving her home. Because even though now that Escobar is gone Medellín is much safer, but he's never been one to easily trust a good thing.

It's only when they've crossed the big main street Avenida 33 that Miss Rivas gets quieter. She's obviously tired following their prolonged outing, but he instantly misses the pleasant hum of her voice, her clever little observations- At the same time, it's a comfortable silence, not one weighed down by expectation. She'd even let down her hair from where it had been up in a ponytail for most of the day, most likely to keep the thick curtain of it away from her neck in the heat and sun.

They're just crossing a smaller square, the edge of it lined with shops, the hole-in-the-wall kind mostly, when she suddenly pulls away with a soft instruction to wait there for just a moment, and he's left to look after her flapping skirt with what is probably not the most dignified expression. Defeated, he sat down on the broad edge of a flowerbed nearby and watched her cross to a food vendor, order, and fish around for her wallet to pay, before turning around again with a plastic cup in each hand. Fresas con crema, he can make out upon her approach, and one corner of his mouth ticks up involuntarily.

"Hungry again?" He teased when she got within earshot, handing him one cup and setting the other down beside him along with her purse.

"There's always space for this in my stomach." She retorted primly. "If you don't want any, all the better."

"Thank you for the generous offer, but no. Thanks for this." He makes a show of cupping the treat protectively, fully knowing he'll have to set it down to unwrap the plastic spoon that came with it. It makes her laugh nonetheless, which imbues him with a strange, fluttery sense of accomplishment.

She's still standing, head thrown back and grinning wide, when her gaze catches on something at the far end of the plaza, and her expression morphs from glee to astonishment to rage so quickly it gives Javier whiplash.

"Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!" Ripping off her glasses and thrusting them into his hands, she began stalking off.

Two things are fortuitous: one, she had to pass Javier to get to whatever she saw and two, his reflexes are still sharp enough for him to jump up and into her path, even having managed to safely deposit the cup of strawberries and cream.

"Whoa, what the hell is it?"

"I- ...she-" Her voice is strained, her whole body taut like a livewire as she attempts to round him and resume her warpath. On instinct, Javier took a few steps backwards, keeping himself between her and her target. It's only his hands on her shoulders that stall her enough for him to be able to whip his head around and follow her eyeline. That side of the square is empty save for an older lady shuffling along, huffing and puffing and blissfully unaware of the wrathful freight train about to rush her. To say Javier was puzzled would be an understatement.

"What, her? The old woman?"

"That's Hermilda Escobar!" She's shaking so much he has trouble keeping a grip on her. "Look at her! The nerve of that woman to show her face here-" She winds out from under his hands, rounding him with a quick sidestep, and he can only match her speed because his legs are longer.

"Hey!" Javier whisper-shouts to be met with flashing eyes, then repeats it more softly. "Hey. What exactly are you planning to do here, huh?"

"I'm gonna give that self-righteous bitch a piece of my mind is what I'm gonna do!" She retorted, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It's cowing, the single-minded purpose rolling off of her. She's strumming with it, her seething damn near tangible. In her rage, she is ruthless. Javier had no doubt, in that moment, that once let go she might well maul the woman with more than words.

It's instinctive, the way his arm wraps around her. Like the few times he's had to restrain Steve and yet not like that at all. For one Javier doesn't have to go for a near chokehold, though energy-wise her wrath is at least as fierce. So, he wraps one long arm around her waist, hauling her much slighter body against his with a half-turn, her forearms colliding sharply with his chest.

"Easy." He rumbles, his other arm coming up to fold across her shoulders. "Easy. Calm down. Calm down!"

Palms smack against his pectorals and it stings. "Hey!" He tightens his hold around her trembling body, her angry, anguished squirming. Softens his voice. "Hey. Calm down, okay? What're you gonna do, beat up that old woman in the street? Come on, breathe."

The sound that comes out of her is something very closely related to a snarl, and he feels the bite of her nails even through his shirt, but holds fast, continuing to ramble empty phrases with the intent to soothe, or at least distract.

"If you tell me to calm down one more time I will get violent." She promised, hands pushing into his chest in an effort to break his hold. The old woman has almost passed by completely by now, seeming blissfully unaware of the savaging she's escaping. Javier held fast, as tight as he dared, the hand still pinching the pair of glasses between two fingers awkwardly patting at her shoulder while he sways them both, rocking from foot to foot.

By the time Diana has calmed down enough that he feels comfortable loosening his hold, the old woman is long gone from view. He feels her slump in his grip, reflexively tightening his arms again to hold her up.

"Hey," he gentles, lightly nudging the side of her head and thinking, distantly, that all but burying his nose into her soft hair is far too intimate a position for any of this. "Hey, it's alright, I've got you, okay? I've got you."

They're still swaying on the spot, a gentle see-saw motion, and then he felt the hands that had been clenching and unclenching on his chest lose all tension and drop down to the side. She's still shaking, her whole ribcage jumping with the hiccup of suppressed sobs. Somehow, he maneuvers them both around and back the few steps from where their snack and her purse still wait beside the flowerbed.

"Why'd you hand me these, anyway?" It's but a cheap distraction tactic, Javier handed her the glasses back as soon as she sat nevertheless.

"I'm not blind without them." Diana responded tersely, snatching the glasses and cleaning the lenses with the hem of her dress. When she doesn't deign to elaborate, he sighs and stretches from where he'd sat back on his haunches in front of her, resuming his earlier seat and finally unwrapping the spoon. It's a tense silence for a long moment, her aggravation like a pulse around them. Certainly it gives Javier a good bit to think on.

"You wanna tell me what that was all about?"

"Don't condescend to me. You may have been closer to the action, but I've lived here all my life." She ripped open her own packet with a vengeance, digging the spoon into her own portion with such force that the sliced strawberries bleed into the white cream. Javier sighed. Took a moment to order his words before they leave his tongue.

"I just need to know if this," he gestured between her and the edge of the square, "is going to be something that has to be taken into account. I need to know that you're not just in this for revenge. I need to know where you're at mentally. I need to be sure, both for your own safety and the integrity of this operation, that you're not just going to snap one day and try to claw Miguel Rodríguez' eyes out, okay?"

She chews angrily a moment, eyes flashing at him before she stares straight ahead again. The wrath is still rolling off of her in waves, perhaps dipping a bit in its intensity, but far from dulling just yet.

"You want to know my motivations, is that it? Well, let me lay it out for you, Agent Peña: of my entire class, a third never even made it to graduation, for one reason or another. I spent my youth plotting routes around gunfights in the street, with just enough success to still be alive, somehow. My mother was caught in the crossfire of a raid and was afraid to leave the house for years afterwards. My father was on that Avianca flight. My baby cousin Maritza is dead and her baby will grow up without her mother. And throughout it all, I took the coward's way out, moved cities, for university, for work, for marriage, for myself even, and everywhere I went they were, too. The narcos have spun their spider's web across the whole damn country and beyond and sooner or later everyone gets stuck in it. I got stuck in it despite my best efforts, and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of having to flee and turning up in dead ends. Somehow I have landed in this unique position, and I refuse to join them. Is that enough motivation for you, Agent Peña?"

She held his gaze, a challenge in fire, and he wondered how much longer that adrenaline surge would sustain her before she crashed. Wordlessly, he nodded his affirmation.

It's more tense silence after that, thick like stew or the humidity out in the jungle. She doesn't reach for him again as they resume the walk up to his hotel, doesn't casually link their arms like before, choosing instead to fidget with the handles of her bag. He hates it, misses the lightness the day had before. These narcos, they really do poison even the most mundane of things with their long, bloodied shadows. When they get to the hotel's underground garage, she's gone even more quiet, almost deflated. There are no more words exchanged, save for the clipped directions to her aunt's house. At one point, Javier was almost certain she'd dozed off.

---

"Do you ever think you should have been there? When they finally got him?" He'd just parked the car opposite of the house. It's almost completely dark outside by now.

"...Yes." Of course he did. He'd wanted, even needed to. The temporary suspension had not been near as effective a punishment as denying him that. The fruits of his labor, of years spent chasing after shadows and getting himself mired deeper and deeper, until he barely recognized himself when he looked in the mirror. He'd wanted it, sure, but perhaps he hadn't deserved it.

"Why did they send you home?" It's not that Javier is in a particularly obstinate mood, it's just that after the incident earlier, he's reluctant to bring up his own involvement with the cartels of Calí and Medellín, much less Los Pepes, so he gives a non-committal grunt in response. He should have known that wouldn't deter her. "When I first called, Agent Murphy said you had been recalled to the States. I only found out later that that was before they finally got Escobar. Why would a top agent on a case of this magnitude be pulled off and sent back before that?"

"You mean what did I do?" She nodded. There was no getting out of it now. He didn't want to lie to her either. Javier sighed, scratching his thumbnail across his brow. "You're going to look at me differently."

"Perhaps, yes." She took a deep breath, rummaging through her purse and producing a folded up paper. "These are the names of some American banks that I'm very certain help funnel and launder Calí's money. Sorry it's nothing more specific." She placed the paper in his hand, gently closing his fingers over it. "Whatever you tell me, we're in this together, right? We both want to bring them down. I trust you, alright?"

Javier gulped, his fingers tingling under her touch. He pockets the paper to buy time, if only to swallow through his suddenly-too-dry throat. And then he tells her. The dead ends and the crippling bureaucracy, Don Berna, the Castaño brothers and Judy Moncada and Pacho Herrera. His desperate grasping at straws to find a way, any way to throw a wrench in the escalating violence and catch Escobar, how that backfired so spectacurlarly. How he tried to get out, despite knowing that these people do not allow outs. How he'd been played by the fucking CIA because he'd been an idiot falsely believing that the two agencies were operating under even remotely the same objectives. How he'd gone down, almost taking his partner with him, definitely tanking his boss' career. He hasn't spoken to anybody about this in such depth, not even his father. By the end of it, he's exhausted.

"So you're the one Carlos Castaño wanted to feed to the crocodiles."

"What?" He'd expected judgement, even disgust. Certainly not this.

"I overheard Gilberto mentioning it on the phone. I think he must have just learned that you'd be the DEA's man in charge. 'Maybe I should have let you feed that damn DEA agent to the crocodiles after all, Carlos.' The door wasn't all the way closed, that's how I heard it. I think that was the moment I realized I couldn't wind my way out of this. That either they were going down, or they were going to find out that I was already talking to Agent Murphy and have me... vanished."

"I won't let that happen." Javier promised instinctively, hands tightening on the steering wheel. "Crocodiles though? Really?" Not how he thought he'd end, that was for certain.

"Yeah, they're very uh... charming, huh?"

Javier grimaced. "If I never see any of them again, it'll be too soon."

"Knock on wood." Diana replied and unbuckled herself, pushing open the door.

"I'll walk you. It's dark."

"It's only across the street." She protested, and was that the ghost of a smile on her lips? Javier's hands stilled on his own seatbelt.

"You sure?"

"If my aunt catches me coming home with a man I'll never hear the end of it." Diana slipped out of the car, then bent to grab her purse. "Good night, Agent Peña. Until next time."

"Good night, Miss Rivas."

He waited until she was inside, the door securely locked behind her, before starting the drive back.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3

-------------------------

Author’s note cont’d: if you wanna know what I had in mind, approximately, for the wedding gown see here

The International Poetry Festival of Medellín is a real thing, too. They have a youtube channel

#narcos (tv)#javier pena x ofc #series #I cling to your lips like gloss (series)#multipart #javier peña #narcos #narcos fanfic #javier peña fanfic #my writing #part 2 #like gloss tag

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shark-myths · 4 years

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@alienfuckeronmain tagged me to deep-search my soul with these questions, and it is the exact distraction I was looking for! no pressure to do this one, pals, but i tag @carbonbased000 @leyley09 @shoeboxofphotographs12 @glitterandrocketfuel @allkindsofplatinumandpercocet @setting-in-a-honeymoon @toorational and anyone i’ve forgotten!

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? does anyone like blue pens? who is this product made for

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? the city, cuz i spent 7 consecutive years very broke in rural areas with homophobia neighbors and having things to do is so thrilling. but i imagine one day retreating into the desert and living far from my nearest neighbors

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? I have learned all the skills I am interested in right now, because learning new things is an a+ quarantine activity. maybe the ability to do physics? i would like to be proficient in physics and i am deeply not

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Never

5. What was your favourite book as a child? all of them! I have always read like i’m running out of time and often get stressed when i think about how few books i will be able to read in my lifetime. as a child I reread Lord of the Rings and Robin McKinley and the Holly Black Tithe series the most, and i was OBSESSED with those gold-paged books with ribbon bookmarks that were diaries of girls from different historical periods, and i have never been able to read historical fiction since.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? I hated baths passionately until my chronic pain reached a tipping point, and since then i have learned to really enjoy the long hot soak with a drink and a book. (i didn’t like showers either until very recently. life support tasks felt like a huge waste of time until i got a partner who helped me figure out how to enjoy them)

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? i have always wanted to be one of tolkien’s elves! I want a long life filled with learning languages and reading books and existing in green peaceful spaces, and then i want to be able to die when i am done.

8. Paper or electronic books? I like paper better--I’ve been building a library slowly my whole life--but my kindle has been life-saving during the pandemic when i couldn’t go to the library.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? right now i’m doing all my work remotely and clothes feel meaningless, but i have a plain black tank top that i feel really comfortable in

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I don’t like my name at all--it’s Kaylie--because it is so aggressively peppy and feminine. it doesn’t sounds like an adult’s name; it evokes exclamation points and pigtails. i have always wished for a severe, no-nonsense name like joan, or a pretty but to-the-point name like eva.

11. Who is a mentor to you? Leslie Knope

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? I used to fantasize about being a famous writer, and now in my field i do wish i had a name that mattered or was considered esteemed or expert in something in some way. I would love to have a research job where i had paid time to publish! but i don’t want it enough to work on it outside of my capitalist mandatory labor hours, because i don’t have enough time for my loved ones as it is

13. Are you a restless sleeper? lately yes, since my cat died in january i have slept like absolute hell

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? not really, but i am a thoughtful one

15. Which element best represents you? earth

16. Who do you want to be closer to? physically i want to be closer to my long-distance pals like @alienfuckeronmain @newleafover @time-less @immoral-crow @leyley09 (leyna let’s have a movie night when i’m done moving???)

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? pretty much all my friends i used to regularly hang out with, sam who moved to seattle, sam who lives in madison, all the people i listed above

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I used to play going to work. i’d pack up a backgammon case as a briefcase, grab my stuffed gorilla, and go write in notebooks and move pieces of paper around

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? I am an extremely boring person and all I eat is popcorn and bread

20. What are you most thankful for? having an able body that works to support me and keep me whole, having a partner who makes me feel truly cared for

21. Do you like spicy food? yep!

22. Have you ever met someone famous? once at c2e2 i met george r.r. martin and no one else cared he existed because got wasn’t a show yet, so i awkwardly went up to him and proclaimed my love for his work, and then he trapped me in a long conversation about vampires

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? a journal! i have since i was pretty small, they take up a full shelf of a bookcase

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? pen, and i have lots of Special Pens that i only use for a particular purpose or project, because i am a huge raging...

25. What is your star sign? virgo

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? crunchy and without milk

27. What would you want your legacy to be? personally, that I wrote things that meant something to the people who read them; professionally, that i removed barriers to accessing healthcare for trans and gender expansive people

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? see above--I completely adore reading. last book was Sisters of the Vast Black and currently i’m reading The House in the Cerulean Sea and it’s totally charming. I’ve been reading really quality science and nonfiction writing too, please send me your recommendations

29. How do you show someone you love them? I make them breakfast, I tell them so constantly, I send them things in the mail, I bring them small interesting gifts, and I say every nice thought I have about them out loud

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? not especially, but it’s fun to chew on

31. What are you afraid of? surgery

32. What is your favourite scent? smoke from blown-out candles, lavender, laundry detergent my loved ones use

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? whatever they’ve told me to call them? this seems like common courtesy

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I do so much less clinical work and work fewer hours in general, I would run for office so I could influence policy and stop wasting my fucking time on the ground level, I would spend more time writing, I would spend so much more time with my family, I would devote the time to running longer distances again in a way that doesn’t aggravate my busted knee

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? the ocean!

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? oh i would definitely spend that on something stupid and self-indulgent i wanted, like a pete wentz hoodie

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? YES! when i was kid every summer i’d be sent to jesus camp, which thank god because that’s what got me into fanfiction, and it was in the middle of nowhere, wisconsin, and you could see the entire milky way and shooting stars blaze across that thing ALL THE TIME, and it shook me to my foundation every summer and for a time i mistook that feeling for faith in god instead of wonder at the infinite being and possibility that is our generous universe

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? i have none of my own but my partner has a 5 year old, so quite against my intention i have become a parent-adjacent person. i try to teach him about emotional accountability for the effect of his actions on others

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? the next tattoo i want is a big snake crawling up my mostly bare left arm

40. What can you hear now? my laptop fan

41. Where do you feel the safest? when i’m protecting someone else

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my relationship with my body

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? i’d really like to be a gentleman of leisure in a jane austen novel

44. What is your most used emoji? the purple heart

45. Describe yourself using one word. earnest

46. What do you regret the most? not going to a 4-year university and having a #college experience. it’s one of my most stinging regrets because it was not a decision i got to make for myself

47. Last movie you saw? what is a movie theater? what does it feel like to be in one? the last movie i watched is charlie’s angels from the early 2000s because that was an unexamined sexual awakening for me--lucy liu being efficient in leather has never left me, efficiency is the single trait i most attracted to--and i wanted my boyfriend to see how bad it is

48. Last tv show you watched? either Kipo and the age of the wonderbeasts or star trek tng!

49. Invent a word and its meaning. instead i will say that i think the most beautiful english word is ache. my favorite way of creating things is transforming and remixing what already exists, which makes writing with words someone else invented the ideal challenge and pastime

(i really loved doing this! it was nice to talk about myself at the end of a workweek. thank you @alienfuckeronmain !)

#tags #about me #a humble shark

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noona-clock · 6 years

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Study: Admin B

In which we dig deeper under the surface of our favorite Noona-Clock Admins.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the gifs used in this post. I am not an astrologer nor am I a professional psychologist. These are my opinions based on the research I have done personally/as a hobby. If you disagree with any of these statements, please do so respectfully. Also, I totally understand if you do not read this. I know it’s going to be long because I have done a lot of research into my own personality. 🙄

-Admin B

Sun Sign: Aquarius (Air)

Aquarius is known to be really the most unique sign in the zodiac... which basically just translates to: Aquarians are a bunch of weirdos. Our sign is ruled by Uranus which is the planet of originality, so yeah. We’re big on individualism and being yourself and being different. So, we really are just a bunch of weirdos, but we know it. And we’re proud of it. I am definitely a weirdo, but I don’t see this as a bad thing at all. I have a wacky sense of humor, and I... am just weird! I’m not afraid to be myself and let my funny, quirky traits and habits shine through. I have a wide variety of interests which really aren’t connected to each other at all (KPOP, Star Trek, Disney, Makeup, romance novels, the British royal family, history, Harry Potter - all of which I love just about equally!). Aquarians, myself included, can also be kind of awkward and a little misunderstood at times because of this originality we value so much. That’s why it can be difficult for us to make friends sometimes. But we’re also just very choosy about who we let into our life! We know not everyone will accept us for who we are, even though Aquarians are pretty non-judgmental.

Another huge part of the Aquarius sign is the need to help people. Our symbol is the water bearer, and this signifies how we like to give things to people. We give our time, our compassion, our knowledge. We just want to better the world, and we have such huge, humanitarian hearts. I can definitely identify with this trait because I have always been extremely empathetic, and I do my best to help out anyone in any way I can. I always donate an extra two dollars at the store for homeless pets or food drives or children's’ hospitals. I rescue all my pets from shelters. I use cruelty-free makeup and skincare, and I try to buy as many of my clothes as I can secondhand to help the environment some. I know there’s so much more I could be doing, too!

Aquarians can also be really hard to break through to. I mentioned before it’s difficult for us to make friends sometimes, not only because we can be so weird and awkward but also because we have a tendency to be emotionally detached. We’re usually pretty reserved (I definitely am), and we strongly prefer not to show or talk about our emotions. We do not like confrontation, but we also tend to overthink a lot. So even though we might seem like we’re emotionally detached, there’s a lot going on in our heads. We love to analyze situations down to the bones, usually in an unhealthy way. But Aquarians are just huge thinkers in general. This aspect of the Aquarius sign definitely applies to me, as I have always had trouble expressing myself emotionally. I don’t easily say ‘I love you’ to people, though this mostly just applies in real life. I can express myself so much easier in writing because I have more time to sort out my thoughts!

Moon Sign: Cancer (Water)

WOO, GIRL. I’ve said before that having a water sign in your lunar placement is difficult, but like... having Cancer in your lunar placement? Oh, my. Cancer is the sign ruled by the Moon itself, so a water moon sign + the Moon moon sign = good luck to you. (and yes I’m now thinking of Moon Moon. Bless his heart.)

Cancers really have a bad reputation for being crybabies because we are so. dang. sensitive. Water signs are known for being the most emotional anyway, and I think Cancers might just be the most of the most emotional. They’re definitely the most sensitive, that’s for sure. And since the sign in your lunar placement defines your innermost, emotional self... Do you understand why having a Cancer moon sign is just a little tricky? Cancers make decisions with our emotions, and a lot of the time, we just have a ton of emotions. There’s basically just an emotional roller coaster going on in our heads at all times, so we can definitely come across as moody. I have always, always, always been extremely sensitive. I take things way too personally, and I let things affect me way more than they should. It really wasn’t until I learned about my Cancer moon sign that I accepted this is just who I am. I’ve always wanted to change how I react to certain situations, but I know now I just can’t. I feel things very deeply even though I don’t show it (thanks to my Aquarius emotional detachment), and while it gets annoying, it helps me connect with people.

Because Cancers are so sensitive and emotional, we are very, very good listeners. We will be there for you when you need to bitch, and while we might not always have advice for you, we will sincerely, genuinely listen to your problems, and we will truly sympathize. We’ll also try to take care of you if we can because Cancers are extremely nurturing. We like to take care of people, and my preferred method of taking care of people is doing things for them. I tend to be pretty thoughtful, and if I ever think “oh, I wish someone would do that for me,” I like to go and do just that for someone else. We’re just very helpful, strong people who will genuinely care about you and sympathize with you.

Cancers, like Aquarians, are very non-judgmental, which is another reason why we make such great listeners. You can literally tell us anything, and we’ll do our best to understand. I definitely try not to judge people because my Aquarius ass is so weird - what place do I have to judge someone else, right? The only people we’ll turn our back on is people who have wronged us or our loved ones, and this is so, so true for me. The second I find out you’ve hurt somebody I love, I’m done with you. Cancers are very protective and nurturing people!

While it can be difficult for Cancers to get close to people (because we can get kind of paranoid, think people don’t like us, and we tend to feel left out A LOT - a daily struggle for me!), we love having deep conversations. We’ll talk about anything we’re interested in for, like, hours... and we won’t let it go. We’re a very sentimental sign, and we just, in general, have trouble letting things go. But that circles right back around to being sensitive! We just have a lot of feelings!!

Chinese Astrology: Earth Snake

Just like Daesung! So is it any wonder I’m an angel? (LOL)

I never liked being a Snake growing up because I’m not a huge lover of reptiles. I like cute, fuzzy animals (that don’t have beaks), and snakes just creep me out. But whenever I would read the description of a Snake on the tray papers at Chinese restaurants, I couldn’t argue it sounded a lot like me.

Snakes are known to be very humorous but also sophisticated in a way (though I definitely do not have a sophisticated sense of humor). We prefer to eliminate small talk, instead opting for deeper, more meaningful conversations. In addition, we’re usually pretty capable in an emergency. We’re able to hold our ground and think rationally and calmly about what needs to be done.

Snakes are always thinking ahead and making new plans (and a majority of the time we follow these plans without relying on others’ input because we’re kind of stubborn and think we know best). But we’re usually right, okay? You really cannot judge a Snake by its cover. We may seem pretty calm and somewhat lazy or laid back, but our minds are so active. We’re super alert and observant, and really, nothing gets past us.

Snakes have very high standards for friends, and this, coupled with my Aquarian reserve and Cancer sensitivity, really makes it difficult for me to put myself out there and make friends. This is why I have a small number of very close friends, and that’s about it. I spend a lot of time with my family because they’re also included in the people I’m closest to. But Snakes - Earth Snakes, in particular - are very loyal friends who can keep a friendship for life. Once we attach ourselves to you, it’s going to take a lot to shake us off (but I mean if you really want to then just make my sister or any of my best friends cry. Then I’ll drop you in a hot second). Snakes are sensitive to criticism, though, and if we get hurt, we will never forgive and never forget. Does this sound familiar? It’s honestly still weird to me how the same traits show up over and over in these studies - not just mine!

Women Snakes are usually graceful and elegant, and while I probably wouldn’t classify myself as either of these, I do take great care with my appearance. I like to appear more elegant and sophisticated than I truly am. I love doing my makeup and wearing nice clothes. Women Snakes are also known to be beautiful, both inside and out. Our confidence is manifested in our fashion and appreciation for classic art. This seems kind of specific, but it’s definitely true for me! My main source of confidence comes from how I make myself look (not how I naturally look, mind you). I’ve never been one to easily accept compliments, but if you tell me you like my makeup or my outfit, the words ‘Thank you’ come out of my mouth immediately. It’s something this Snake is proud of! I also do appreciate art, and whenever I’m visiting a new city (or an old city), I like to find the local art museum and spend some time there!

Numerology: Life Path 9

As I’ve mentioned in Jackson’s, Jinyoung’s, and Yugyeom’s Study, the 9 Life Path number is the most evolved in numerology and has one of the strongest vibrations because it contains the qualities of all the other numbers. 9s are seen as wise, old souls, and our main focus in life is developing our spirituality in all aspects.

9s usually have a strong inclination to follow whatever we believe in, and we’ll pursue this with great ambition and drive. We also have an authentic regard for humanity, so our goals tend to involve serving others in some way. This is certainly true for me because one of my biggest overall passions is education. I truly, truly believe education is the solution to so many problems, and every single person on this Earth deserves a good education. I was a teacher for several years before my Introverted self couldn’t take it any longer, but now I work for a software company who serves daycares and preschools for underprivileged children.

9s love serving and helping others, and it’s such a huge part of our identity that whenever we’re in need of support, people tend not to notice. But we do keep our guard up, so 9s definitely need to learn how to ask for help since it’s hardly ever obvious when we do need it. This has been something I’ve struggled with my entire life - asking for help. I always feel like a burden or like I’m annoying when I ask for something, and my Cancer self cannot handle feeling like a burden!

9s are also usually pretty creative, and while I’m certainly not creative like Jackson, Jinyoung, or Yugyeom, I like to think I am in my own way. I express my creativity through makeup, fashion, and definitely through writing. I also love to daydream, and my daydreams can get pretty involved!

MBTI: INFJ

Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging

You guys. I’m so Introverted, it’s not even funny. Not only that, I’m a shy introvert. I’m so naturally quiet and reserved, and you would not believe how many different people have commented on this, even strangers! I love staying at home, and I much prefer to be in my bed reading or on my laptop than out somewhere with a bunch of people. I think before I speak, I spend time with myself, and I just actually really like being alone. Truly, if we’re on a road trip together, I could go for hours without speaking and be just fine. That’s how quiet I am.

I also type as Intuitive, meaning I’m very imaginative, open-minded, curious, and I prefer to think about the possibilities rather than the facts or what’s already been tested as tried and true. As I mentioned in the previous section, I love to daydream, and I think daydreaming is pretty big sign of an Intuitive person over a Sensing person. Intuitives tend to talk more about ideas while Sensers talk more about facts.

So, if you’ve read this far, it should come as absolutely no surprise whatsoever I’m a Feeling individual. I don’t even really need to go over how emotional and sensitive I am because that’s basically the whole of my Moon Sign. Funnily enough, though, this function is the one with my lowest percentage. Whereas I’m 88% Introverted, 79% Intuitive, and 71% Judging, I’m only 68% Feeling.

Finally, I type as a Judging individual which means my more extraverted function is my Feeling function. It also means I’m more structured in how I live my life. I don’t really like to keep my options open. I like to make a plan and stick to it. This is very true! If I’m ever doing something with friends or family, I get really annoyed if someone keeps bringing up ideas and options. Especially if we’ve already figured out what we want to do.

INFJs are known as The Advocate. We love to help people, but in a very ‘need to make the world a better place’ way. We don’t want to just pay for somebody’s meal at the drive-thru because we know it’s a nice thing to do. We do it because we want to start a Pay It Forward movement, to help people help others. We love having a cause, and we are relentless about making the world a better place.

Other Studies: Admin T

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admins

#noonaclock #astrology #mbti #chinese zodiac #aquarius #cancer #aquarius sun #cancer moon #snake #earth snake #infj #admin b

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speckeh · 7 years

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Speckeh’s 2018 Book List

It’s 2018! Last year my book list was a decent size but I didn’t read a lot of sparkling novels! So this year I’m focusing on decent books with the occasional textbook thrown in!

1. Cappiello: The Posters of Leonetto Cappiello: 5/5 stars. I haven’t had time to sleep more than 8 hours let alone time to breathe to read book this semester. I’ve never been busier which has been a nice experience, but boy do I miss reading books! I found this at Tuesday Morning 40% off and it’s huge and beautiful and needed it. I love this book! Cappiello has a wonderful drawing style. He draws multiple body shapes, various commercial posters, and GINGERS. HE DRAWS SO MANY BEAUTIFUL RED HAIRED LADIES. I’M SO FUCKING THRILLED. If you find this book hella cheap and have the shelf space for it, it’s a great art book to have!

2. The Elements of Rhetoric - How to Write and Speak Clearly: 4/5 stars. This is for my Proposal Writing and Development class. Everything this book states, I’ve already read or learned about in Argument Writing during summer last year so nothing really jumps out as me as amazing or eye opening. The writer does some relevant story telling with the different styles of rhetoric to use and how to use them effectively, but it’s not the greatest read. I’ll probably keep it as it’s a great little book for quick glossary terms or brushing up on information. If this is your jam, this might be a cheap book you can add to your academic shelf!

3-4. Kamisama Darling Vol 1 and 2: 5/5 stars.

5. Namae mo Shiranai Machiawase 4/5 stars

6. Star Trek Cats: 5/5 stars. I hung out with one of my quickly growing best friends yesterday and I saw this book when we were in the humor section. My heart MELTED. I read this as B&N and even though it’s short, I needed to buy it. It’s one of my favorite art humor books I’ve flipped through recently. It’s full of episode jokes and just fucking ADORABLE cats that make the weirdest faces.

7. The Prophet: 5/5 stars. Another book I bought with one of my best friends. It was recommended to me by the really nice (and very sweet) worker there who complimented me on my outfit. I was going to ask we could trade numbers and hang out and gain a new friend from her, but she was very busy. Anyways. The friend I was with told me he absolutely loved this book and it spoke to him on a spiritual level. And I have to agree. Having been raised in a mormon household and then realizing I was hella queer and questioned E V E R Y T H I N G about organized religions, this book was excellent. Because The Prophet isn’t any certain religion, he’s just giving people a way of life and he never condemns anyone or anything. The Prophet and the Siddhartha are essentially my religion. The whole belief there is no “set path” for a religious life and happy ending, that no one is right and no one is wrong in their religion, and that it depends on how you treat others and how you service others but also how you serve yourself. An excellent read for the beginning of the year for me.

8. The Non-Profit Narrative: 2/5 stars. It’s the same for the Elements of Rhetoric book I read, I’ve read all of these terms before in my nonprofit management class so nothing was very new or interesting to me. I skipped through 70% of the book. If you want a short, short ass book on how to run nonprofits and social media, this is a great little read. If you’re already familiar with the contexts of nonprofit, don’t waste your money.

9. When The Body Says No: 5/5 stars. This book is.. just wow. This is the first time I have ever marked up my own personal book with highlights, pens, and pencils. I only ever do it to copied school books on computer paper. It’s no secret I’ve been going to a counselor off and on since I’ve been 13. And I’ve seen and confronted death for a long time. I’m very traumatized from my experiences and I have a lot of issues I don’t really deal with. My counselor told me to read this book because I am the post child of when your body says no for you when you can’t. And I am. It’s.. amazing how well he knows me and my experiences I’ve been through. I learned amazing facts about myself how my childhood forced me into emotional repression, that children who lose a parent before 17 are 40% more likely to develop cancer, that the underlying stress of never being able to say no to your family because you don’t want to disappoint them causes a turmoil in your body that can turn deadly. If you have anger issues, stress disorders, genetic diseases, autoimmune disease, any sort of illness you developed later as an adult, read this book. Because I promise you, you’ll find something about you you never knew about.

10. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao: 3/5 stars. This was a book I had to read for my intro to English literature class (I’m changing emphasis so I have to take more entry level classes BLEGH). While I did devour this book so fast, I wasn’t particularly impressed with this book. I guess I’m kind of sick of the narrative of “geeky boy is a virgin and hates himself and the world,” and people around him either patting his back or deciding to take it upon themselves to fix him, no matter what cultural background they are. While I’m thrilled I could read about a Dominican cultural and have a non-white narrative and characters, this book didn’t sparkle to me. Maybe it’s because this book wasn’t written for me, or maybe I don’t really care for Diaz’s writing style. Either way I barely earned a 3 stars from me.

11. Pictures of the Gone World: 4.5/5 Stars I bought this book at a liquidation sale. I either find amazing poetry books at random, or duds. Luckily this was a fantastic one that held a lot of elements I love in poems: historical themes and humor. He helped pushing and defend one of my new favorite poets, Allen Ginsberg so you know I have mad respect for him. This was his first poetry book and he quickly became famous in the beat poetry world. Compared to other poets, he’s definitely a easier one to get into for beginners but the words still hold beauty and harsh truths. Definitely a great way to introduce yourself to beatnik poetry!

12. I Capture The Castle: 5/5 stars. Do you ever pick up a book that’s been calling to you for ages and by the fifth page in you know you have a new best friend? I’m not one for first person narratives, it takes a special way of writing it to keep my interest. I Capture The Castle with repressed and writer’s voice of a 40 year old woman from 17 year old Cassandra just melted my heart. I have a soft spot for Dodie Smith and she won me over with this book. From the beautiful scenery of a decaying castle, to a 17 year old’s first encounter with love, it’s just so so captivating. it hasn’t been since the Shadow of the Wind that my heart literally raced and I couldn’t read fast enough to know what happened next. And the last sentence of Cassandra’s journal of “I love you, I love you, I love you,” keeps playing over and over in my head. If you want to get lost in a old English castle and a young girl’s narrative, you will not regret picking this book up.

13. A Concise History of Hawai’i: 3/5 Stars. I’ve always wanted to know about my birth state since we moved away when I was too young to remember anything. I’ve always been called a island girl and have had a fascination with water. I stopped being interested in calling Hawai’i my birth state because I was so young and my family memories are bitter sweet. But I finally returned to Hawai’i in May 2016, and I was shocked to feel like I was Home. I’ve been missing Hawai’i like crazy and have been trying to read this book forever. I bought it on my trip there. Well I finished it. It was pretty interesting, it’s concise, and quick and I learned a lot. But the book also brings up an important question.Can a white man write about a cultural history on Hawai’i? I’m not sure and I was somewhat bothered by that question throughout the book so that dampened my star rating. I feel like a history of Hawai’i would be so different and way more vibrating if a Native Hawaiian had written it. But, if you want a general and quick history of Hawai’i from the formation to 1999, it’s a decent read.

14. Wyoming Poems 1994: 5/5 Stars. I really like this short poetry book. It’s only 26 poems and all about Wyoming and the life there. It’s from 1995 so you know it’s more of a modern take on Wyoming. Definitely a great little book. Really debating on joining the Wyoming Writer’s mailing list ahah!!

15-21: Various Manga. between 3-5/5 stars.

22. Secret Garden: 10 minutes classics: 2/5 stars. I love the Secret Garden. It’s one of my top 5 books of all time in my life and will always be in the top 5. The 10 minute classic books is great for a reader wanting a short synopsis of the Secret Garden and it has lovely pictures, but it really loses the magic, the world building, and the characters’ relationships in just 10 minutes. I’ll probably keep the book just because of lovely pictures, but it was a let down!

23. Lovers Legends: The Gay Greek Myths. 4/5 stars. My love for reading and history can be pinpointed exactly to D’Aubaires’ Book of Greek Myths. It planted the seeds of my career ambitions, the types of research I love to conduct, and the person who I am. I always knew the Greeks were more gay than society teaches children, but this book really paints it simple for you. First off, it uses a poem by one of my favorites Allen Grinsberg, and then the author reiterates the gay greek myths in clear and easy stories, and shows how they all connect. The symposium style chapters were long and tedious and I ended up skipping them, and the book really only has 110 pages of stories with the next 80+ being sources, research, and a bibliography. Either way, love me some truth bomb gay ass greek myth!!

24. Colonel Brandon’s Diary: 4/5 Stars. I’m a sucker for Austen continuations or different perspectives. It comes from a personal reason from childhood memories with one of my parents. I’ve read 2 other of Amanda Grange’s diaries of Austen men. Brandon is not my favorite Austen hero and while the book I liked him enough, he doesn’t sparkle as much as say Knightley for me. I’m sure as I get older I may like him more, but for now it was nice to read a 300 page version of Sense and Sensibility that is a great companion novel for like.. better spark notes. If you need a quick summer read to last you a day or two, I highly suggest Amanda Grange’s books! (Except for Pride and Prejudice and Pyramids. That was just… bad)

25. Reunion by Fred Uhlman 5/5 Stars: I really started to enjoy World War II stories, but fictional ones about non-American centric stories. Reunion is a beautiful, fast read, about a teenaged Jewish boy who meets a handsome and captivating Lord’s son at his school. It really is about a first love. Hans is obsessed with Konradin; he thinks he’s handsome, educated, and lonely like him. The two go off on trips, Konradin often comes to his house, they read poetry and discuss coins together. It’s very easy to think of Konradin and Hans sharing firsts. It’s a beautiful little story that wrenched my gut with the very last line, and the descriptions had me drawing little scenes in the book. If you have 3-4 hours to spare, this is a great read if you can get it.

26. Instructions to a Young Bookseller: 5/5 Stars. As someone hoping to enter the book world after graduating University, this was a great little read. Obviously any sort of written conference has an edge of boring to it. But the book is full of gem quotes and advice that can be used for anything and not just young booksellers. If you’re able to find this book (most likely in the Heffer bookstore at Cambridge) give it a read. It’s a short 46 pages but a great way to pass the time and to give you advice that transcends passed 1933.

27. Among the Janeites: 2/5 Stars. I wasn’t impressed with this book, which is a shame because I desperately wanted to like this book. I loved when Yaffe described and told the stories of her fellow Janeites, but I really couldn’t stand her narration. I don’t know if it’s because I’m annoyed by the “I’m an elite Jane Austen fan because of these reasons” or I just don’t like the way she writes her narratives. Sometimes, you just don’t clash well with a author. I applaud her efforts to write this book, but I have to admit I was disappointed that she admitted she only focused on white North American Jane Austen fans. What a waste!! How amazing would it have been to have read more diverse fans? Hear about their efforts, their stories? Instead I found myself reading some of the same stories over and over again. I didn’t even finish the last two chapters because everything was the same rhythm and nothing was interesting any more. I wanted to put down the book many times, but found I couldn’t whenever I read the stories of those who did amazing things with their Jane Austen passions. But other than that, kind of disappointed I brought this book on my trip to England. :/

28. Tea with Mr. Rochester: 4/5 Stars. Sometimes a collection of short stories takes me awhile to read, this was not one of those!! I have had my eye on this book from Persephone’s for at least 2 years now, and I finally got to go to the shop two weeks ago! I really enjoy the literary metaphors and the descriptions are beautiful, but Towers has a way of writing that has you go: “..did.. did I skip a page?” Often the story would jump and you would feel confused of where the characters are now, how much time had passed, and how did these two characters meet. The lack of background, time, and setting is discombobulating, but not too distracting from enjoying it! If you have the pleasure of going to Persephone’s Book, definitely give this book a try!

29. For Your Eyes Only: 4/5 stars. I think I’m now a little more than halfway done with the original James Bond series! For Your Eyes Only is very different as these are short stories. Some of them are action pact while others are Bond at dinner parties listening to stories. It was an entirely new take and very interesting for sure! Some of the stories were hard to get through, slow, which is why I dropped it down to four stars, but a lot of them were really fun. I especially loved Quantum of Solace which explained the title and now I’m wanting to rewatch the film now knowing the definition of the phrase. I can tell that Ian Flemming is now aware of his homoerotic writing with James Bond and is starting to cut it out, which is a real shame since they’re so beautiful. But his obsession with eating eggs for nearly every meal is back which made me happy! I’ll have to see in the next book if the homoeroticness comes back!

30. This One Summer: 4/5 stars. Ranted and raved about since the debut of this comic, with one of my favorite illustrators who drew SuperMutant Magic Academy, an awarded comic! And I can’t help but feel disappointed in the story. I know this is directed at teens and if I had read this when I was between 13-16 it would have BLOWN my mind. Now at 23, this isn’t the most poignant story. I think it’s important for teens but it isn’t really for me. I’ll probably gift this comic to my friend Ramona because I think she will like this comic a lot. But for me it’s just.. beautiful artwork. But nothing much more than that.

31. The Alchemist: 3/5 stars The Alchemist was suggested to me by my BFF and my other friend told me he hated it. I’m in between. While I understand why some people absolutely LOVE this book and I appreciate that the author had a passion for his story and didn’t settle for rejection, I think the story is lacking a lot of magic and luster it could have had. It’s kind of like a book trying to follow after The Little Prince in an Arabic/South American story with a christian spin to it. I enjoyed reading it and experiencing a well loved story, but I gave it to another friend and I kind of regret buying it from a story and not borrowing it from a library.

32. Omae no Koi wa Ore no Mono: 5/5 stars. Good manga. Lovely characters. Story is good. I enjoyed it thoroughly!

33. The Fall of America: 4/5 stars. Allen Ginsberg is my second favorite poet right behind Billy Collins. After reading Howl and falling in love with everything, this book was a let down. A lot of the poems were loooong run ons that seemed to forget what he was trying to talk about. My favorites were when he was un-ashamedly GAY and talking about sucking cock and having sex with guys, and a very real Vietnam war poem, but the rest was very on the fence. If I didn’t love him so much I would have skipped a lot of the poems in this book. But I also know this is a similar complaint from other readers. It’s hard to follow after such a massive success and nationally known poetry book of Howl, but he did his best. Not all of your own poems will be sparkling and rich in something new and world opening.

34-36. Various Manga: 34 5/5 stars, 35 4/5 stars, 36 4/5 stars.

37. Twisted Romance Volume 1: 2/5 stars. While some of the stories were beautiful and drawn amazing, I felt like the collection was disjointed and didn’t go very well. It was weird to have a comic book also be split up between stories with a written novel. I’m sure this would be someone’s cup of tea, but not mine.

38. My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness: 4/5 stars. My dear friend Ramona put the first and second novel in front of me to read while we spent like 4 hours at Barnes and Noble today. It was super fun to be with my sweet sweet friend and just, decompress. I read this book and so much of it I could relate to. Not only am I a Queer female, but I also struggle with mental health, depression, and feelings of abandoning my mother. Not to mention being touch starved. But I docked it down from a perfect score because Kabi’s narrative was so frustrating. That never ending cycle of getting so close and then self-sabotaging herself is so frustrating and makes me mad. I put the book back after I finished reading it, and then decided I had to buy it at the last moment.

39. My Solo Exchange Diary (Sexual to My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness) Vol 2: 3/5 stars. Unlike the first book, this was even more frustrating and was hard for me to be empathetic to her. Someone who obviously struggled hard with her mental health and struggle against her parents, I felt like her Solo Exchange Diary was just an excuse to not do what she wanted. I didn’t think Kabi grew much between the two volumes which is super disappointing. As a reader you want her to be better. Though when she mentioned how her happiness is tied to abandoning her mom, OOFFFF. THAT SURE IS MEEE.

40. Close Range: 2/5 stars. I actually stopped reading this book entirely. I started off reading the Brokeback Mountain story in this anthology, and it hooked me! Sadly, the rest of the stories didn’t capture me as much as BM. Eventually the characters bled to be the same: stoic, struggling with family, very Wyoming. That was it. It was all men, white men who struggle to be “men” and then proceed to do stupid shit/hurtful things that you want them to die over. I lost interest and I’m sad because I wanted to love this collection, but I couldn’t do it anymore.

41. Bond By Design: 5/5 Stars. Back in 2016, Shennelly gave me a mini version of this book and for Christmas last year I got the full version. It’s fascinating to see the drawing progression and what the art team focuses on drawing. It’s a shame to see the Daniel Craig films not having as much hand drawn art, but they were created more in the era of computer art and less relying on storyboard sketches. Needless to say, it was pretty awesome to see all the thumbnails and knowing a lot of them came to life in the films I watched! P.s. I went to the museum and Turner painting features in Skyfall over the summer!

42. The Hobbit Comic: 4/5 stars. This is a comic I’ve had on my shelf before I started uni so around 3-4 years it’s been sitting on my shelf waiting to be read. I picked it up because I was going on a car trip and I wanted something light and easy for the 4 1/2 hours it took to reach our destination. While the art was awesome, this was not a light read. It felt like reading the Hobbit all over again with how exact dialogue and scenes were written out. And I docked this comic down a star because I felt like I would be so overwhelmed by the reading I couldn’t enjoy the art. That’s a big problem with direct story comics. They’re so much dialogue and story they want to use, they don’t realize how tedious it becomes for a reader. Other than that, if you’re a die hard LOTR fan, this is a great edition fo the Hobbit to have!

43. The Adventure Zone - There Be Gerblins! 5/5 stars. I started listening to The Good Brothers after Percy told me to back at the end of 2016. I started to their The Adventure Zone podcast right before my trip to Norway. I have great memories of listening to the first 3 adventures, nodding off on the plane, during down time at our various hotels, on the way back home, desperately trying to download as many possible while I had wifi. I love TAZ and so when they announced a comic book a year ago, I’ve been waiting ever since! It isn’t a let down! Where the Hobbit had issues with too much dialogue, TAZ There be Gerblins didn’t run into that issue! Also I love that even though the characters have never been officially designed, there was opportunity for diversity, AND THEY DID A TON OF DIVERSITY. Also the Director was exactly how I envisioned her and that made me so fucking happy. Please support the good boys and buy the comic if you like it!

44. Monstress Vol 3: 5/5 stars. While the art is dynamic, the plot hella feminist, interesting, so many cool female characters! The plot is still confusing volume 3 in. I might have reread the other two before reading the 3rd since it has been a year since I’ve read the book. But the darkness and “real” themes of disabilities and responsibilities is just great!

45. The White Cat: and two other stories: 5/5 stars. The art for this children’s fairytale book is gorgeous. Though some of the pictures feel like they’re a few pages behind or ahead of the events that actually happened. But JEEZ you guys! These are some fucking dark stories. A cat behead, Jack the Giant Killer, Rip Van Winkle just being lazy as FUCK. We don’t get children’s stories like this. It was an awesome edition I found that was originally 30 dollars that was for sale for 5 dollars due to a liquidation sale. It’s great.

46. The Young Visitors or Mr. Salteena’s Plan: 5/5 stars. The Young Visitors is such a treat. I first found my copy in England in a discount shelf and loved the frayed pink cover with interesting illustrations. And then at another going out of business sale, I found a red cover and bought it without thinking much of it. I absolute LOVE this book. This story is written by a 9 year old Daisy with the themes of a true Victorian novel. An older man chasing after a young woman who falls in love with a rich young man and the older man cries at his defeat. It’s an excellent little read that is amazing from being written in 1919! I have plans to eventually see the manuscript in the museum it’s held in! I’m using my second copy as a lend out to my friends to make sure they’ve read this story!

47. What Makes My Cat Purr? : 5/5 stars My friend bought this for me at an antique mall because it melted my heart. Reasons why little kittens purr???? Mostly because you show them love??? UHHH HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS NOVEL?

48. Sock Monkey - The Glass Knob: 4/5 Stars. Sock Monkey and his friends ned to replace the door handle with glass and a random assortments. Silly, but sweet.

49. The Paper Doll Wedding: 4/5 Stars. Fun. That’s all.

50. Spot’s Favorite Colors: 4/5 Stars. Bought this for my nephew. We used to have matching cards with this!

51. That’s Not My Dinosaur: 4/5 Stars. For my nephew! He loooves it. Touch and feel.

52. The Mitten: 5/5 Stars. This book was read to us each winter in elementary school. I bought it for my nephew!

53. Toot: 4/5 Stars. For my nephew! A book about farts!

54. Erte Art: 4/5 Stars. Erte’s art which was dazzling and seemed to be something from the 2000s rather than the 1900s. Loved the different designs of his work and that he included women of color and not just white models throughout his work!

55. Sea Prayer: 4/5 Stars. Everyone was ranting and raving about the poetry, but I love the watercolors. It was an impactful story, but I felt the story was a bit rushed. Over all beautiful.

56. The Prince and the Dressmaker: 5/5 Stars. I’ve had this comic book in my shopping cart for a year! I finally asked for it at B&N and bit the bullet. UHMMMM. GORGEOUS.

57. HeartStopper Vol. 1: 5/5 Stars. UHM WOW. I funded this on kickstarter without really knowing much about the comic. It then sat on my shelf for a couple of months and a friend, randomly, asked me if I read it. I finally read it and goooood, I loooooved it!!!

58. Fuddles: 3/5 stars. A fat cat gets out of the house and lost, I hated it but loved the illustration.

59. Birdsong: 5/5 Stars. All the different birds and songs they sing, silly, fun.

60. Santa’s Snow Cat: 4/5 Stars. A silly Christmas story about how Santa loses his most beloved cat in New York.

61. The Tiger: 5/5 Stars. A dialogue-less comic about a tiger in the jungle, living its life, trying to hunt prey (unsuccessfully), and other predators. Beautiful art, I would recommend!

62. The Angel’s Game: 2.5/5 stars. Sadly, this is the second time I’ve been disappointed by Carlos. Angel’s game had a slow start. A writer being worked to death by underpaying publishers until he develops a brain tumor. He meets a mysterious man after much travesty and agrees to write him a book with no money as an issue. But as the story progresses, the narrator becomes distressed and stupid to discover the truth. He loses so much, and by the end of the book it feels like a bad fever dream. It really seems the hype after Shadow of the Wind is so hard to defeat. Hopefully his newest, final, and largest book in the quad series will be like the first. Let’s hope it’s not like the middl two!

63: Ore no Omawarisan: 5/5 stars

64: Goriyou wa Keikakuteki ni: 4/5 stars.

65. The Shotgunner: 3/5 stars. As I was trying to compile my favorites of 2018, I realized I completely missed three books?? Shotgunner was finished the last day of 2018 and I think I was just totally exhausted from everything. The book was extremely silly but fast paced. A man wanted for murder runs back to his home town to find his brother has been murdered and his widow (an old fling) needs his help to get out of town. It doesn’t end how you think it would and it seemed to move in a very fast paced way. It wasn’t my favorite western book I’ve read, but it certainly had layers to it I wasn’t expecting!

#2018 books

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thefaeriereview · 4 years

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Inside the Mind: Paul Cristo

https://ift.tt/3dZxxoX

Welcome to Inside the Mind where we here at The Faerie Review interview authors and creators.

Our guest today is Paul Cristo, the author behind Deadheading.

Lily: Thank you so much for agreeing to this interview Paul. Deadheading gave me chills. With COVID still going, it’s easy to imagine this happening in real life. Most zombie books I’ve read have the hero start off as a hero, but Lewis kind of hides through it. What inspired you to take such a different route?

Paul: Thanks for reading Deadheading! And thanks for noticing that about Lewis. One overarching theme in Deadheading is the pruning of the old to encourage the sprouting of the new, and I wanted Lewis to come from a place of myopic, self-subservience and grow from there.

I was also a little tired of the main characters in books being given a little too much benefit of the doubt when navigating environments and situations like those in Deadheading. There’s a bit more of an imposed learning curve for Lewis, who would much rather be watching Breaking Bad than growing his own food or blowing houses up.

Lily: He's definitely the most believable 'hero' I've ever read in a book like this. Was Lewis based on anyone?

Paul: I suppose it’d be naïve of me to deny there’s not a little bit of me in Lewis, though he might be a bit more cavalier with snark. But I wanted Lewis to be familiar to everyone in some way; sort of a stand in for the reader. He was designed to invoke the question “What would I do if this happened to me?”

Lily: Honestly I can't say my own reaction would be that much different! Did you need to do a lot of research to write this?

Paul: Definitely. Lewis gets himself into a lot of situations entirely unfamiliar to him, from growing his own food, to making bombs, to flying an airplane, and I needed those to read as plausibly as possible. That meant inserting information too detailed to fake. I interviewed several green-thumbed friends, a pharmaceutical chemist, and an airplane pilot just to name a few, to ensure the actions Lewis performs are unimpeachable. Well, mostly unimpeachable anyway.

Lily: That sounds like a lot of work but I'd say it definitely paid off. Is there another book in the works?

Paul: Yes! The second book will focus more on the sickness that plagued the planet and maybe a bit more on the curmudgeonly doctor.

Lily: I can't wait to read it, that sounds like a great follow up. Now we’d like to talk about you as a writer. Do you have a ritual you perform to get in the writing headspace?

Paul: I usually have some kind of tea while writing which helps me focus. Sometimes playing unobtrusive, pulsey film music in the background helps me concentrate.

What helped me most was making an agreement with myself that I’d write something every day, even if it was only a few words. Sticking to that is what allowed me to finish the book.

Lily: That sounds like a great way to get yourself writing, and I can just imagine you writing some scenes in the book to that music! Where’s your favorite place to write?

Paul: I seem to be a better night writer (insert Hasselhoff meme here) than day. Finding somewhere cave-like is ideal; somewhere allowing for a grandpa sweater. There are times I’m envious of Jack Torrance and his arrangement at the Overlook.

Lily: Ah the Overlook. Always wanted to go there hehe. I'm a night owl myself so I can totally understand the need for somewhere dark! Do you prefer to type or hand write your first draft?

Paul: I’m much too fond of my mechanical keyboard to handwrite anything, though I do enjoy occasionally jotting down notes with a pencil if I think of them.

Lily: For me I can't guarantee I'll be able to read my notes later if I write as fast as I think (and mechanical keyboards are amazing for keeping up). Let’s finish up with some fun questions and get inside your mind. What’s one food everyone should try before they die?

Paul: Seeded, whole grain sourdough bread. I mean the dark, substantial kind that will tear a paper bag if dropped in too high.

Lily: I can't say I've tried that, but now I need to. I might have to make it, I don't think I've seen it around here (but then again I don't live in a city). Would you rather be covered in fur, scales, or spines?

Paul: You really got my brain spinning with this one. With fur, warmth wouldn’t be much of a problem anymore, but I’d shed incessantly, and imagine how often the plummer’d have to come out to snake the shower drain. Scales would basically guarantee every Olympic swimming gold medal, but being scaled implies I’m no longer endothermic, but exothermic, and installing heat lamps around the house isn’t very practical. That leaves spines, which delights the 8-year-old in me who always wanted to be a He-Man villain. But being spined eliminates any kind of travel involving a cushioned seat. I’ll have to get back to you on this.

Lily: Hehe I have to admit I never really thought about it that way, but I love the thought you put into it. I can definitely say the fur would cause a nightmare (long hair can be too). What’s a boring fact about yourself?

Paul: I don’t use the QWERTY keyboard layout; I use DVORAK.

Lily: OK now that's interesting, I don't know if I've ever known anyone who doesn't use QWERTY! (For those that don't know DVORAK was designed to be more efficient than QWERTY). If you could pick one superpower, what would it be?

Paul: My instinct would be to fly unaided, but that’s what everybody says. The power to grant wishes would be fun.

Lily: Ooooh wishes would be a fun one. What’s one movie you could rewatch over and over without getting sick of it?

Paul: Steven Spielberg’s Minority Report has always been impervious in that way. The story, the music, the photography, the odd-ball characters, the noir-esque grit; all its elements somehow make it endlessly entertaining.

Lily: It's definitely a great movie. Do you put the milk in the bowl before or after the cereal? How do you feel about doing it the other way?

Paul: I reject the premise there are milk-first people out there. Invariably, there would be too much milk or too much cereal. That is, unless you’re taking the time to actually measure the cereal and milk before pouring it into the bowl, which makes you a bonafide monster.

Lily: I can't like I just laughed at that last part, but I have to admit I completely agree. There's no way to get the right ratio if you put milk first without measuring! Is there anything else you would like to add that I haven’t included?

Paul: If you happen to appreciate the Star Trek nerdom, my friend Jonathan and I host a podcast where every week we break down a random episode from the first five series while cracking wise. We’re adequately funny, so we’re told. It’s called The Measure of an Episode (http://themeasureofanepisode.squarespace.com).

Lily: How can readers discover more about you and you work?

Paul: The best way to keep apprised of what’s new with me is being on my mailing list, which you can join on my website. You can also email me at [email protected]

Twitter | Amazon Author | Podcast: The Measure of an Episode

via Blogger https://ift.tt/3iLrS8l

#Blogger #interview

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disrespectfullcalum · 7 years

Text

Walk the line (Pt2/?)

Word count: 2,475

Warnings: none really? slow-burn, some teasing

Summary: Being the granddaughter of Peggy Carter, you always try to stay away from spotlight. The lure of Hydra is still out in the world, but you get away from it whenever you work at that small diner a few blocks from the Avengers tower. You even befriend one particularly nice customer and let him help you with your language essays for college. But what are you going to do when your family name collides with reality and you finally realise what past is behind those sad eyes and shy smile from your favourite customer?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

A/N: Okay so a lot of you actually liked the first part??? Which is a nice thing and made me write the second part yesterday. This is also brought to you by a lot of cough syrup, tea, and Johnny Cash. Enjoy! xx

MASTERPOST

I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime, But is there because he's a victim of the times.

Okay, so Johnny Cash wasn't really his era. But he enjoyed the sadness in the raspy voice of Cash and could relate to most the lyrics as well. That was something Bucky didn't have too often, especially when he tried to listen to this new music. When he said that once, Sam had just looked at him and scoffed. "Yeah, just keep on pretending like you guys didn't have lyrics about sex or shit. Cap told us already that much about your oh-so-prude era." Bucky could only shake his head at that comment. At least they hadn't been talking about selling drugs or partying or that stuff. Of course they hadn't been saints, you would have to be a real fool to believe that! But he liked to think that times were simpler and not this complicated back then. Bucky still had problems adapting to the world as it was now – he hadn't been iced like Steve but as the Winter Soldier he didn't have too much time to actually experience anything. He had been alive but that wasn't what you would exactly call a fulfilled life. So he was getting used to all the new stuff together with his best friend which made things a bit easier. He really enjoyed this invention of the internet where he could just research anything he needed to know. That really made things easier, even though he had been shocked at some of the developments in the world. They had been sent into war with the promise that that would be the last time anyone would have to go to war. Oh boy, they really had been proven wrong on that one! Bucky couldn't believe just how much destruction was still going on all over the world and he promised himself that he would try to end at least some of it. That was the purpose of the Avengers after all, wasn't it? Trying to leave the world behind just a little bit better than it had been before.

"Hey Buck, we wanted to grab some drinks, popcorn and watch a movie. You in?" Steve popped his head into the room where the brown-haired super soldier was currently sitting at his table, brows furrowed and eyes fixed onto a paper in front of him. The blond one smiled to himself and leaned against the door frame. It was good to see Bucky occupied with something that didn't remind him of his actions as the Winter Soldier or of the guy he had been before all of this. He knew that it wasn't good to spend too much time on the past as you were only forgetting the reality you were living in. Bucky lifted his gaze from the essay you had given him and looked at Steve. "Who is we? Because if you're trying to make me third-wheel you and Sharon again, I'm definitely out." He asked with a smirk on his face. He liked Sharon, he really did – but it was just too awkward to sit next to her and Steve like an old nurse that watched over the kids! A faint pink blush appeared on the cheeks of the other super soldier as he quickly shook his head. "Nah, we as in Natasha, Sam, Bruce I think as well, and Tony. On today's list is-" He stopped, tapping his body with one hand and finally took out a small notebook out of his ass pocket, quickly flipping it open. "Ah, yes. Jurassic Park. Apparently, that's a really good movie about dinosaurs or something. You coming, then?" Steve shot a questioning look at his best friend before a smirk plastered itself on his face. "Or are you going to correct Y/N's essay all night so she will smile at you oh so brightly and hug you and call you her hero again?" With every single word, Bucky's cheeks turned a deeper shade of red.

"That was one time. And no, I do that so that she can learn from her mistakes and continue to keep her grades up." He defended himself but it was all wasted time and words because Steve simply chuckled and shook his head. "You got it bad, man. You really should ask her out, you know – she sounds like a real catch." Bucky's mouth opened and closed without a word coming out, making him look like a fish on dry land. He resolved to simply shaking his head and getting up. There was no way he would continue correcting your work now, Steve and the rest of the team would tease him endlessly for it. And he really wasn't in the mood for that right now. "Oh shit. It's Friday, right? That means any take-out place will be packed and it will probably take us ages to actually get some food." Sam could whine like a small child sometimes which caused Natasha to only roll her eyes at him. The two of them bantered a lot, shooting comments at each other like bullets. Bruce and Tony were standing on the other side of the kitchen aisle, surely talking about some high-level technology that no one else understood. Just as Sam had said that though, a shot of guilt went through Bucky. He normally went to the diner on Fridays, talking a bit with you and just escaping all the craziness of the tower. But as he has already agreed to watch that movie with the rest of the team, that was not possible anymore. The questioning expression on Steve's face brought him back to the kitchen and he shook his head a bit, a sheepish look making its way onto his face. "Sorry, what did you say?" Steve grinned at his best friend. "I said that you always go this diner where they apparently make delicious burgers and fries. And that we could probably go and pick some stuff up there." The sheepish look on Bucky's face faded and he just looked wide-eyed from one Avenger to the next. "I think that's a great idea, you spend a lot of time there so it can't be that bad, right?" That was Bruce, the calm and deep voice making Bucky feel better on the spot. He liked the doctor, he never asked too much and simply accepted everyone as they were. He also was very much in love with Natasha, which amused everyone. The green monster and the Black Widow – quite the concept if you asked Bucky! "Well, uhm. Yeah, I-I guess we c-could do that." Damn it, why was he stuttering now? Natasha had one eyebrow up and a very slight smirk on her lips while Steve could barely hold himself together. "I mean, yeah that's no problem. I can go now, but it'll probably take like half an hour to get everything." Bucky was quick to add and turned around to grab his jacket and wallet as Steve put a hand on his shoulder. "Nat and me are gonna join you, we still need a few drinks and snacks from the store. And we can help you carry everything." On the inside, he wanted to just punch his friend right across the face but Bucky managed a small smile and simply nodded. He didn't have any intention to actually bring one of them with him into the diner – you didn't know about all of his and he very much wanted to keep it like that.

Just let me hear some of that rock and roll music Any old way you choose it

It's gotta be rock on music If you wanna dance with me

Today was incredibly full, even for a Friday. Ever since you had opened the doors to the diner, there had been not one minute for you to sit down or have a quick snack or anything. You were lucky to manage a few sips of soda in the back of the kitchen every now and then before bringing out plates again. Still, you missed one particular customer. He never missed a Friday at the diner and you had to tell yourself not to worry too much about it. Who knew what was going on in his life, there was like absolutely no justification for you to worry about James. When you thought about it, there wasn't even too much that you knew about him. He was in his late 20ies, probably already early 30ies. He had a troubled past he didn't want to talk about too much and he spoke fluent Russian and German. His knowledge of jazz music was impressive, but then again he didn't really know anything about modern pop-culture. When you had been brainstorming about a good Halloween costume and proposed Leia from Star Wars, he had simply looked at you with an empty face. Apparently, he didn't know anything about Star Wars or Star Trek or even Rocky! But James was a complete gentleman and you liked him a lot. He was sweet to anyone at the diner, always asking if you had troubles with college or needed a ride home. But as your grandmother had taught you, there was no way you would let a nearly complete stranger drive you home.

Today's music was more Rock'n'Roll which fit the mood of the whole audience. Loud chatting and laughter mixed with the sound of plates, knives and forks clattering and you could already feel your headache coming. You had just brought some plates with leftover food into the kitchen and watched the diner empty just a little bit when you spotted him. He was standing outside of the diner with a really pretty woman and a huge guy with a cap on which hid most of his face. You didn't have time to properly look at them though as some customers waved at you. So, you quickly wiped your hands on the apron that hung around your waist and made your way through the tables to get their plates and their following order.

"And here I thought I would have to miss you dearly until next week. The usual, three times?" You finally greeted him when James made his way to the bar, looking a bit awkward and shooting glances over his shoulder every now and then. His friends walked slowly behind him, smiling at you. "Hey Y/N. Nah, we're going with the big one six times and as a take-out." He responded while shifting his weight onto one of the stools in front of the bar. "Alright, but that might take a bit. Today's a packed one, I have no idea where all these people came from." You shrugged apologetically but still smiled at him and his friends who were now sitting down as well. "Anything I can do for you in the mean time? Coke for you as usual I guess, and for you two?" Your gaze went onto the two others who hadn't introduced themselves yet. The guy still had his cap on which left his eyes in the shadow and she was wearing the hood of her sweater on her head, covering most of the shining red hair. Her eyes darted through the room quickly and you could've sworn that you had seen that face somewhere before. "A beer for him and another coke for me, please." She then said in a raspy and deep voice which surprised you a bit, but you simply nodded and smiled at them again before ripping of the page of your little notebook and making your way into the kitchen.

You didn't really have time to chat with James or his friends during their wait for the food which disappointed you. Just a few sentences here and there before you had to go and pick up some more orders, bring plates out or back into the kitchen. Finally, the number of guests had significantly slimmed down but – lucky you – that was just at the exact time that their food was ready to go. With a small smile, you brought out the bags of food and placed them on the counter. "I've put in some of the special sauce for you guys, it's a favourite around here. And a menu as well, so the next time you can just call and Emilio will bring you the stuff home." You explained and watched as they nodded their approval. "Thanks, Y/N. I'll see you next Friday with your essay, didn't have too much time to correct it yet." James smiled at you which caused you to chuckle. "That bad, yeah? I should probably really take up on that offer of yours and get me someone to talk with me in German for hours on end." This made the woman turn around with a big grin on her face. "I think James will be more than happy to do that, wouldn't you? Mein Deutsch ist leider ein wenig eingerostet." You nearly dropped the glass in your hand that you had been drying. That woman spoke German, too? And without the slightest trace of an accent as well? Your eyes darted from her to James who had stopped dead in his tracks with a stony expression on his face. "Natasha…." His voice wasn't more than a whisper but the sound of it still managed to send shivers down your back. She simply shrugged and waved at you quickly before exiting the diner, leaving you and James behind. He groaned silently before turning around and looking at you with a sorry expression. "I'm – well, uh – I'm sorry. She can be a lot sometimes." The smile reappeared on your face and slowly, you began to dry the glasses again. "It's really okay, James. If you don't want to do that, that's completely fine, you're already a big help with correcting my essays and all that stuff. I'm really asking too much of you with everything so yeah, I'll just find someone at college who is good at German or over Facebook." Before you could drabble on, he lifted a hand to silent you and shook his head. "Y/N, that's completely fine. I'll help you with your German, no problem. But I have one condition." You tilted your head to the side, raising your eyebrows in question. "I get a pot of this special sauce every time." A laugh escaped your mouth at the sight of his sheepish expression and you could only nod at that. "Es ist mir ein Vergnügen." You replied and watched him leave the diner with a huge smile on your face. Oh boy, you really had it bad for that guy.

Mein Deutsch ist leider ein wenig eingerostet. = My German is a bit rusty.

Es ist mir ein Vergnügen. = It's my pleasure.

#written #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #james barnes #marvel #bucky imagine

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to-a-merrier-world · 7 years

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This is a game where you answer the questions given to you by the person who tagged you, and then create your own questions and tag people at the end!

Thanks @nerdalay for tagging me!

1. If you could transport yourself to any fictional universe, which would it be and why?

the star trek universe, hands down. 1) it would probably be waaaaay easier for me to get all my gender stuff (medical and social) squared away, and just easier to exist as a queer person in general and 2) ALIENS. YES. GOOD.

2. Tell me about your most treasured pet (from childhood or current).

my cat tigerlily. i’ve had her since i was... 9? i think. but ever since i left for college, i never see her:(( she’s an orange tabby and she’s the best cat ever. she likes to cuddle a lot, she’ll play fetch, she’ll sleep with you. she’s really sweet and i just love her so much<3

3. Have you ever been badly injured? What happened?

my most recent bad injury was last summer when i pulled a muscle/pinched a nerve (still don’t know which) in my lower back. i was babysitting a 4 year old and at one point i was sitting down and tying my shoe and she jumped on my back and tried to stand on it:/ i ended up in some of the worst pain i’ve ever been in. i couldn’t exist without being in pain. standing up was like, the worst thing ever, walking made me cry, it was just awful and lasted for over a week:////

4. Tell me about your best friend and why you love them.

my best friend is Kayla ( @twinsmaximcff ), and I love her for lots of reasons. she’s one of the few people in my life that i feel 100% comfortable with telling anything, like, i have so much trust in her. we can have really great conversations, and like, even when we disagree, it’s so easy for us to be like “ok, i see your side and you see mine, and yeah we don’t agree, but that’s totally fine.” also, i really like it when i can have long, deep conversations with people, which i can with her. she’s also just a great person and we just? get along really well? and are similar in a lot of ways, but dissimilar in others, idk, our personalities just compliment each other well? also, i feel like she’s helped me become a better version of myself, and like, she makes me want to continue becoming a better version of myself, ya feel? also, she’s a dork and i just love her lots<3

5. What personal accomplishments/qualities are you most proud of? Why?

hmm, i’m pretty proud of my ability to write research papers? like, i’ve been told be a grad student and by my current mentor (who has a PhD in the field i’m interested in pursuing), after they read my research papers, that i should definitely consider a career in psychology research, which is something i’m interested in doing, so like. that makes me really happy and more confident in my ability to someday get there?

6. If time stopped for a day and you were the only thing that could move, what would you do?

idk, there isn’t much i could do in just a day, the place i’m living rn isn’t exactly super interesting lol. i’d maybe go to all the different clothing and shoe stores and buy the clothes i’m too nervous to buy rn (i.e. the clothes/shoes in the men’s section). tho i guess if time were stopped, i wouldn’t be able to pay... idk, i wouldn’t feel all that bad taking from a big chain store.... tho i wouldn’t want to get the employees in trouble..... i think i may be thinking too hard about this lol

7. How have your interests changed over the years? Do you still love any of the same things you loved as a kid?

hmmm, i mean, i still like some of the stuff i liked as a kid, like i still love a lot of the animated movies i loved as a kid (mulan, tarzan, spirit: stallion of the cimmeron, etc) and i still love, like, atla and justice league and stuff. um, idk, i have trouble remembering my childhood a lot haha. but i feel like i’m still into some of the same kind of stuff, like fantastical things and sci fi and stuff. i’ve always liked escapism stuff haha

8. Tell me a little-known fact about yourself.

i still believe in the possibility that mermaids exist..... i once saw that documentary animal planet made on mermaids and i’m still Convinced

9. What is your greatest daily joy? The thing that makes you happiest in your day-to-day life?

showering, tbh. nothing like a shower at the end of the day

10. If your life had theme music, who would be the composer?

Ludovico Einaudi. one of my fave composers tbh, really beautiful works, i highly recommend him. also, most of his stuff has emotion to it, but it’s not really get-your-blood-pumping stuff that some composers have. more.... internal struggle-feeling or calming kinda feel

My Questions:

If you existed in the Harry Potter universe, what would be your animagus and why?

If you could be a part of any movie, what movie would you want to be a character in? (i.e. a ghibli movie, a romcom, a disney musical, a hallmark original movie, the harry potter series, etc. be as vague or specific as you want)

What’s your favorite texture?

If you could be any mythological/fantasy species or creature, what would you be?

Have any weird talents? What are they?

What’s one story you’d love to see adapted into a film or tv series (assuming it’s done right)? Can be a book, a fanfic, a myth, etc.

Is there any hobby that you really want to take up, but haven’t? Alternatively, if you have a hobby, what is it and why do you like it?

If you could choose one chore to never do again, what would it be?

Describe your ideal home. Where is it (city, countryside, near the ocean, etc.)? Is it a house, an apartment, a loft, a tent in the forest? Is it big, small, average? Art on the walls? A big kitchen? Be as specific as you want!

What’s your favorite article of clothing that you own?

I tag @shieth @sheithstars @aradiiaa @paquilizti @obacchus @stargazershiro @twinsmaximcff and anyone else that wants to do it! (you don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to)

#tag meme #about me

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katyaton · 7 years

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These Things Are Fun Lets Give It a Go

Tagged by the lovely @mygeekcorner !!!

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. (…. yeah not doing that one sry)

tagging: Whoever wants to do it!!! I’d love to get to know people better :) I’m also shy and would like to tag more but don’t want to overstep my bounds. @dreamsinteacups @rollertoasteroflife @booksncupcakes @ramigo and @totallynotanobody and @nakedpasta (you last two can just tell me in person if you want, haha)

1. coke or pepsi: Coke!!! Drinking Pepsi where I live is basically blasphemy.

2. disney or dreamworks: Both excel at different things. Hard to pick just one, really. Depends on my mood.

3. coffee or tea: I feel like by now most of you know, but Tea all day everyday.

4. books or movies: books

5. windows or mac: windows…. I have so many issues with macs i swear the computers can sense my fear.

6. dc or marvel: Gotta go with marvel. Their universe and interwoven story lines are A+.

7. xbox or playstation: Playstation - it’s what I grew up with as a kid.

8. dragon age or mass effect: neither. don’t play them.

9. night owl or early riser: Night owl

10. cards or chess: Cards - I feel like there are a lot more games you can play with them.

11. chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate!

12. vans or converse: Converse I suppose

13. lavellan, trevelyan, cadash, or adaar: ????

14. fluff or angst: I need a healthy dose of both. It also depends on my mood, but I have to say that i’m slightly partial to angst.

15. beach or forest: Beach if I had to choose.

16. dogs or cats: Cats!!

17. clear skies or rain: Definitely rain

18. cooking or eating out: Eating out can be fun, but i’m also cheap and really like to stay inside, so probably cooking more

19. Spicy food or mild food: I like a bit of spice on things, but overall most of my food is on the milder side.

20. halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: Halloween is good but I love the atmosphere surrounding Christmas and just the general good cheer and attitude.

21. would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Where I live is super hot so I’d have to say cold. Also, when you’re cold you can always put on more layers. There’s only so many things you can take off when you’re too hot.

22. if you could have a superpower, what would it be: I’ve been adamant about this for several years. I would choose teleportation. Just think how much money you’d save? No more plane tickets, no more paying for cars/car insurance…. You’d also never be late to anything, ever and your commute time would be zero! And if a bad guy is near you you can just teleport away!

23. animation or live action: Depends on the subject matter. If it’s more fantasy I’d say animation. If it’s more entrenched in drama I’d say live action.

24. paragon or renegade: ????

25. baths or showers: showers

26. team cap or team ironman: I love them both dearly but I have to say I’m partial to Cap. He’s just so pure and good.

27. fantasy or sci-fi: I really love both, but I think I ere on the side of fantasy

28. do you have three or four favourite quotes? if so what are they:

“I want that” (via Napoleon Dynamite)

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” (Dr. Seuss)

“Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.”

(J.K Rowling…. this was actually my senior quote in my year book)

29. youtube or netflix: netflix

30. harry potter or percy jackson: Harry potter, however I really also love Percy Jackson as well. They’re both good boys.

31. when you feel accomplished: when i finish reading a 150,000 + fanfic in 1-2 days.

32. star wars or star trek: star trek.

33. paperback books or hardback books: Paper back only because it’s less expensive. I understand that hardbacks are superior though.

34. horror or rom-com: Probably horror, although it can’t be one of those super cheap horrors that rely on jump scare or whatever. It needs to be legit and interesting.

35. to live in a world without literature or music: What would be the point to life???

36. pastel colours or dark colours: Pastels

37. tv shows or movies: shows - you stay with the characters longer and there’s more time for character development and complicated plots.

38. city or countryside: City. I like the country for like… a few days, but then after that I get really board. As much of an introvert as I am I still need things going on around me to be happy.

39. if any other zodiac sign could describe you, what would it be: Don’t get me started on this pseudo-psychology….. (*whispers* prob a virgo)

40. if you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life what would it be: Oh god this is hard. I don’t really listen to albums, mostly just individual songs that I like. If I had to pick one, though, at this point I’d choose Hamilton.

41. cinema or theatre: cinema simply because I rarely, if ever, go the to theatre. I know I enjoy it, but it just happens so rarely that I can’t really compare the two.

42. if you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: Yuuri Katsuki or Kuroko Tetsuya. I feel like with both we’d get along really, really well.

43. smiling or smirking: Smiling. Smirking has a rather negative connotation, no?

44. are you an ‘all or nothing’ type or are you more consistent: Consistent

45. playlists or your whole library on shuffle: Playlists. If I shuffle things I always end up skiping until it gets to the song I actually want.

46. travelling or staying at home: Traveling, but it can’t be 24/7. I definitely need time to recharge at home once in a while.

47. books or fanfiction: Both are great, but tbh like most of us I have only really read fanfic recently. I have a few published books that I’m currently trying to get through, though!

48. If you could live in a fantasy world, what world would it be: Probably Harry Potter, but only if I was a witch. Having magic would solve so many of my problems!

49. your favorite cartoon: It’s kinda up for debate whether it’s an anime or cartoon, but I’m calling it a cartoon made in the anime style simply because it’s not Japanese made. Avatar the last airbender/Legend of Korra

50. name the weirdest five songs on your itunes, current or past: Hmmmm ok here’s what I came up with

Chum Drum Bedrum Ok I love this song so much. The singer completely describes how I am as a person: hella awkward, long and lanky, and flowy. He represents me on so many levels.

2-1 by Imogen Heap Not a lot of people know about this song but I find it so intriguing and interesting. Definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, though.

Wide Eyed by Animal Collective This song is what it sounds like if you're on LSD, I imagine.

Five Night’s at Freddy’s Song 1 This song is very strange - it’s based off of a horror computer game - but you have to admit it’s jammin.

Seaboard Rise 49 Literally heard this song at a music museum and it’s the most lit keyboard song you will ever hear I guarantee it!!!

51. mountains or plains: mountains

52. favorite anime (or tv show if you don’t watch anime): Yuri on ice (of course), Death Note, Death Parade, Kuroko no Basket, Ouran High School Host Club, and Erased. (sorry couldn’t pick just one!)

53. which social media platform are you most like yourself on: Tumblr in terms of personality I suppose, but since I try to not post everything about my life on here there are a lot of things missing that don’t really come through. I’d say facebook simply because almost everything about me is uploaded on there, by one person or another. I’ve had my facebook since I was in 7th grade, so it’s really documents my life almost. I’m not really into any other social media other than those two. So in conclusion, tumblr in terms of personality, facebook in terms of being able to open up more about my life.

54. What are some of your passions: I am in love with the brain. I think that it is akin to the deep ocean or the universe - there are so many things we do not understand about it. It also houses our personality, every thought, memory, emotion. Every little nuance that makes us human. Yet it really is just a collection of water, lipids, proteins, and neurotransmitters, yet somehow in all of that we have developed a complex sense of self. Are our personalities really separate entities, or are they just a complex construct that our advanced brains have superimposed to make sense of the chaotic word that we live in??? Basically I want to research some sort of neuroscience/biopsychology related field.

I also love genetics for similar reasons… I find it fascinating that some sort of elemental coding for our functioning lives inside us.

I’ve also found a new passion for writing as of late :)

#about me #me #personal #these things are fun do it if you want!!!

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milenasanchezmk · 7 years

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5 Suggestions for Becoming Less Civilized (and a Giveaway)

Civilization has given us great gifts. Infectious diseases rarely kill us anymore. We have hot running water that’s safe to drink (usually). We can go down to the market and buy a thousand different foods. Things are, for the most part, safe and comfortable. Of course, many of the benefits of civilization have been solutions to problems it introduced. That we rarely die from infectious disease is significant because the high population densities of early civilizations created such high infectious disease burdens; nomadic hunter gatherers didn’t have that issue. But there are benefits.

Civilization has also harmed us. There’s the usual laundry list of maladies, like industrialized diets, sedentary lifestyles, dysfunctional circadian rhythms, skyrocketing rates of obesity, diabetes, and cancer that we discuss on here all the time.

But there’s also our wildness. For a civil society to function, it must tamp down excessive wildness among its citizenry. Someone’s got to maintain the roads, fix the plumbing, drive the buses, and get up and go to work on time. Yet, the call of the wild persists….

Humans have always represented the intersection of wildness and order. We have animal urges and instincts, and we have reason and logic. We’re subject to the natural world, and we mold and shape it. We’re civil, but with an edge. It’s that precarious balance between chaos and order that helps us do incredible things. The crazy vision of stepping foot on the moon and the discipline necessary to get us there safely. When we become “too civilized,” we lose that edge. On the balance, I’ll take the civilization, but we can do it better by reintroducing wildness into our personal lives.

“Wild” isn’t “crazy” or “savage” or “violent.” It can include ebullience, but it’s mostly about loosening the shackles of what civilization expects you to be and do.

Besides the obvious and dependable ways to become less civilized, like taking wilderness skill classes, flouting conventional dietary wisdom, camping, and hiking, what are some other suggestions?

Adjust Your “Create:Consume” Ratio

To consume is to be passive, comfortable, civilized. Civilization needs consumption. It’s necessary. But civilization and the humans who populate it also need creation, and that’s a bit more wild. It’s pushing the boundary, riding the edge. This isn’t an either-or situation. Everyone consumes. Everyone should create, too. How’s your ratio?

You don’t have to start a blog or write books. You don’t have to become an oil painter or sculptor. Although those are all great options for cultivating wildness via tweaking the create:consume ratio, they’re not the only way.

Creation can be almost anything as long as it introduces something new to the world. It can be minor or monumental. If you’re reading a blog and a thought comes to you, write a comment. If you’re scrolling through a Twitter conversation and have something to contribute, do so. Participate. You could be dungeon master for a Dungeons and Dragons group—that’s creating a narrative for others to inhabit. You could convince your buddies to start training with you—that’s creating good, healthy habits in people who didn’t have them. Direct your energy outward, rather than be a passive recipient of exogenous energy.

Learn a Martial Art

There’s a real human predilection toward violence that, if ignored or repressed, often explodes into tragedy. Martial arts can be a good outlet for that. Now, I don’t know this first-hand. As a kid, I got into my fair share of mostly-friendly scrapes and rough and tumble play, and it was great. Every kid should do that (few do these days). But I don’t have any real experience with martial arts. Not learning one is actually one of my major regrets in life. In recent months, however, I have done some very easy grappling drills with an acquaintance who’s been training for most of his life. It’s been awesome. Nothing too serious or intense. But I get a real sense of how I’d respond in a violent situation.

Don’t do what I did. Learn a martial art. There’s an element of wildness—you’re learning how to do and avoid violence, how to face another human being in simulated mortal conditions—tempered with control and the boundaries of civilization—no one’s going to die or get seriously hurt. From my limited experience, I’d say try a grappling art like Brazilian jiu-jitsu or wrestling.

Indulge Your Fandom

Humans have a sense of tribalism encoded in us, a desire for allegiance toward and acceptance from a group. For some, that manifests as ethnic or religious hatred. There are obvious problems with those manifestations. Could there be a positive outlet for our tribalism? Research shows that diehard sports fans see physiological benefits when their teams compete, such as boosts to testosterone and increased empathy. Sports fans even have a higher-than-average sense of meaning in their lives, something many modern humans lack.

I’m guessing this may apply to more “nerdy” allegiances, like Star Wars vs Star Trek, Marvel vs DC, or Playstation vs XBox, though I have to draw the line at adult My Little Pony fans. Sorry.

It goes without saying that you shouldn’t let these tribal allegiances consume your life. Don’t spend every waking moment following sports, politics, or pop culture. That’d be like engaging in perpetual warfare with a rival tribe—no good.

In fact, I think some of these “open-ended” tribal conflicts are the most dangerous. In sports, as on the battlefield, there’s a definitive, objective conclusion to the conflict: Your team either wins or loses. Everyone accepts the outcome, because the outcome is undeniable. In politics or pop culture, the battle never ends. It drags on, and drags you down with it.

Get Your House In Order

When chaos envelopes us at home—dirty dishes in the kitchen, clothes strewn around, papers everywhere, bills unpaid, responsibilities mounting—we devote most of our creative energy to blocking it out, to ignoring it, leaving us little energy left over to embody our true, wilder selves. Don’t do this.

Instead, deal with the issues directly. Clean the place up. Address all the energy suckers. You’ll probably find that most of them resolve rather quickly, and you have far more time and energy left over to create, learn, play, and indulge the call of the wild.

And, yes, I think there’s an argument to made for minimalism here.

Interact With the Environment In Atypical Ways

Civilization has created neat, linear environments with walkways and paths and boundaries. Normally, we stay between the lines, stay off the grass, and generally follow the rules. Try not doing that.

Climb trees, randomly. Do so in full view of others; it may inspire them to do something similar.

Walk or bear crawl along the backs of park benches. Be cautious about it.

Take shortcuts. Vault over fences.

Sprint up stairs.

Do pullups at crosswalk light posts, overhead branches, ledges, anything that you can grip and hang from.

Be a weirdo, not a jerk. You shouldn’t walk through wilderness protection zones or trample someone’s garden. Don’t trespass.

I’m curious how you foster de-civilization in your life? Any comments, reactions, responses? I’d especially love to hear about martial arts more experienced folks can recommend.

Now For the Giveaway…

As we wrap up this kickoff month of 2018, the question becomes: how do you take your intention to the next level? Today I offered up some ideas for those often neglected but still essential “other” foundations of a healthy and fulfilling Primal life.

And I want to offer one random commenter on today’s post something to help in that regard—a copy of The Primal Connection and a $50 gift certificate to PrimalBlueprint.com to apply to other books (or anything on the site) that might support his/her next steps.

Just tell me some thought inspired by today’s post—or something you’d like to see me cover about these “extra” essentials of Primal living: play, sun, sleep, nature, barefooting, etc.

Be sure to comment on today’s post by midnight tonight (1/31/18 PST) to be eligible.

Take care, everyone. Be well!

Want to make fat loss easier? Try the Definitive Guide for Troubleshooting Weight Loss for free here.

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megers67 · 8 years

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The Various Projects I’m Procrastinating On

I’m making this list as part of my New Year’s Resolution to get at least one of these done. As organized by medium type because most don’t have any real working title. I’m also putting my reason for it existing because those reasons keep the idea in my brain as something I want to do.

Book - Nonfiction

A writer’s guide to making alien species that would be a collection of essays covering how to combine alien biological/physical design with a culture in a way that makes sense. It would also go into detail on how to make a fictional culture and discuss how to avoid things such as stereotype, coding, appropriation, and colonialist idea holdovers.

Why: I haven’t seen anything about making fictional CULTURES. Most things I’ve seen talks about visual design or at least some into the potential of biological diversity in aliens. After seeing the horrible negative stereotypes used in the Star Wars prequels (Watto = Jewish, the Trade Federation = Japanese businessmen down to the l-r), this is something that needs to be addressed.

Fanfic

The Enterprise helps in the final negotiations for a planet to enter the Federation, but find out that the general populace have grievances about the whole arrangement that have gone unanswered. Part of the problem is that they have a language system that defies the universal translator and its a huge part of their cultural identity. However for them to become a part of the Federation, they need a form of language that is a bit more compatible to make things like trade and general interaction far more reasonable on a larger scale. The people are worried that this will wipe out their cultural heritage because they will be forced to work with the outside with a different language system that migth eventually supercede their current one.

Why: In my Star Trek RP experience, I’ve found that many of the same aliens are used when there’s so much potential to make your own. Also I wanted a situation that dealt with cultural identity and also something that defied the universal translator for once.

Film

The plot is the typical Chosen One story where a girl ends up in a magical kingdom while chasing her father’s kidnappers and finds the remaining members of a resistance force rebelling against a tyrannical leader. She finds out she has magical powers and bla bla bla saves her father. But this would be ENTIRELY from the villain’s point of view (because that plot is so predictable, you don’t need to focus on it to figure it out). It would start from her defeat and go backwards to go into first how she came to be defeated, then how she became a tyrant.

Why: I’ve yet to be completely satisfied with how Hollywood presents villain POV’s because they inevitably cross that line between explaining their actions and excusing those actions. Maleficent came so close to doing that, but the ending ruined it for me. I had the idea for this for over 10 years, but the focus switch came after seeing Maleficent.

Short Film

The story follows a girl whose boyfriend has become super distant since they got back from summer break. He checks out and starts skipping classes until he just goes missing altogether. His close friends have an idea and the girlfriend insists that she comes along because she’s worried. They take her to a magical realm that the boy and the friends had together saved from an evil wizard. However, the boy (who had been basically a leader, prolly a Chosen One plot again) had become disillusioned with his mundane life since returning home and has run away to the magical realm where he’s a hero. The plot of the short film would be trying to convince him to come back and I think I might have him become almost like a villain in his insistance that he stay. I’ll have the girl break up with him even if she saves him because he’s been acting like a major dick and she deserves better than that.

Why: I want to look at the kind of aftermath of these kinds of stories. I mean, you’re a national hero and people adore you then go back to being just one in a crowd? Like fuck man, that’s got to be a blow to your psyche I think.

Tabletop RPG

At first I wanted this as a Graphic Novel (and the original basis grew out fo an RP group, but it has changed SO MUCH since then), but I think it has more potential as a tabletop game. So the setting is, briefly, a post apocalyptic fantasy where the war between those who can and those who can’t do magic left no winners and just wiped out the landscape. Though the current day has had some time since then so nature is reclaiming its landscape with dots of towns around the place (but not incredibly frequent). Substrate magic is based on common molecules/substances etc. such as water, carbon dioxide, different rocks (or things like iron) and each person can only do one substance. There’s also a rarer grouping that called Energy that can do fire and electricity. Non magic people aren’t completely defensless because nuclear radiation cancels out magic so there’s that.

Why: I just really like the world and there’s so much potential in it that I can’t possibly make a dent in it if I was the only one to play in that sandbox.

TV Series/Web Series

An ode to shows like Star Trek and Firefly that is on the lighter side of things. It follows a military supply (subject to change, but definitely military support and not the flashy flagship that gets to do all the fun stuff) crew on its adventures of being the butt of the joke in the fleet. This is the ship your assigned to when you need experience before going on, or when your superiors don’t like you but you haven’t done anything to court martial you. A reckless and paranoid security officer, a helmsman and science officer who are completely and obviously a married lesbian couple but they have to pretend they’re not because of regulations against relationships, and a doctor who hoards supplies and is never visible because he can’t survive everyone else’s atmospheric conditions, confining him to a giant hazmat suit. Together with a largely unhelpful AI, the captain and first officer have to keep enough order to function. But when the captain has the chance to be promoted onto another ship, will she take it?

Why: This is a project that I brainstormed with @thewinningscenario and it’s a vehicle for all the things we wish in a sci-fi series from little things like universal translator issues, to things like more representation for different sexualities.

Research Paper

The closest to actual fruition. I used stopwatches to figure out the percentage of applicable Disney movies that the protagonist and their love interest are shown to interact. However I still need to go back now and figure out the percentage that the protagonist does NOT spend with their love interest as my initial numbers gave me interesting results, but I can’t just assume that it’s an inverse relationship (for example, there may be a lot of things with side characters without the protagonist at all). Then after I collect THAT data, I need to actually write the damn thing. Though I need to figure out what editions I did for the original data. I know for Beauty and the Beast it was a copy that had Human Again, but I don’t know if any of the other movies have things like that that would throw off my numbers.

Why: I wanted to see what the numbers look like. Also because we have this modern idea that it’s better if they spend more time with their love interest before the end because it means that the chemistry can build. But we often forget the flip side that it means that there’s less time spent on them in their own narrative by themselves. But I need the other data set to really be able to make a statement about that. Also for some reason the animal films are outliers in their eras which I was not expecting at all and don’t know what to do with THAT.

So yeah that’s a lot of shit I need to get sorted out. Some have more progress than others of course, but hopefully I shorten this list before I add things to it?

#idk what to tag this as #personal projects #sure there we go

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