#I’m my defense I am in my last semester of uni

[neonanarchystudios]

PUNK-ROCK WARLOCK

Idk the idea of a small angey punk teenager being a WARLOCK of all things is just hysterical to me.

(Small character bio

Name: Nesrin

Pronouns: She/They

Nationality: Turkish/Iranian

Class: Warlock [void])

[caramellohigh]

juyeon x reader

genre: (eventual) smut, fluff, (might have?) angst, university!au, fwb 👀

warning/s: none

word count: 3.6k

synopsis: if there is one thing Juyeon doesn’t like about himself, it’s that he’s a nice guy. it’s… strange.

because why would he feel that way when it’s not something to dislike? what about it has Juyeon perpetually annoyed just hearing it in the same sentence as his name?

perhaps it’s because Juyeon doesn’t want to be just a nice guy. perhaps it’s because… he isn’t.

a/n: yikes…

(are you guys interested in being part of a taglist for this? someone asked so i'll be tagging them for the rest of the chapters, anyone else?)

Chapter 2 | Intention

“I can’t believe we’re banned from the uni library,” Kevin pouts, plopping his butt on the chair opposite you and setting his bag down at the foot of the table. You flash him the most sarcastic smile you could muster, “And that’s all thanks to you and your big mouth!”

Settling on your own chair, your lips flattening into a displeased line and you make sure to shoot him a scowl before you take your study materials out. He sinks into his seat, arms defensively crossed over his chest, “Well, I’m sorry! Why didn’t you just tell me right away that you didn’t sleep with Juyeon?! I--”

“Hey, guys!”

Your eyes almost pop out of their own sockets when you hear the familiar voice, your best friend staring at you with the exact same expression. “H-Hey, Juyeon!” Kevin tries to act normal but the shake in his voice and the awkward laugh he pairs it with is doing anything but. You silently sigh to yourself, refusing to look at Juyeon who’s now standing right next to you. “What-- What’re you doing here?”

Juyeon blinks in confusion and looks down at his uniform. “I work here,” he replies anyway, smiling a polite smile when Kevin realizes just then and gets a tad bit embarrassed, “Right… But aren’t you loaded this semester? How’re you finding the time?”

Juyeon purses his lips in thought, glancing at you as you mindlessly play with a pen between your fingers, eyes only looking at Kevin as if he isn’t there. “I sort of am, I guess? But I don’t know. I just wanted to help my parents out with the rent and stuff.” Kevin slowly nods in understanding, “That’s really nice of you but like… How are you still sane?”

Oh god, when will Kevin ever learn how to shut up?

“Kevin…” you warn him gently, a subtle shake of your head telling him that he can stop talking now. Thankfully, he gets the hint this time. “Heh, sorry! Forget what I said… Uhh-- Uhm-- Yeah, maybe you should go back to work? They might be looking for you. We have to start studying too so...”

You have not once looked at Juyeon this entire time and you can feel his stare burning holes at the top of your head, only looking away when Kevin’s words register in his brain. His brows furrow, “You guys are here to study? Don’t you usually just go to the library?”

Kevin scratches the back of his head and chuckles guiltily, “Yeah, uhm... We got banned.” You glare at Kevin for the nth time today and he shrinks back in his chair again. “My fault…” he admits, “I was making a little bit of noise last--”

“A little bit?!” You and Kevin send daggers at each other with your eyes while Juyeon just smiles, soft eyes gravitativing back to you. “Well, that’s okay. If you study here often, I’ll get you free stuff!” Your best friend immediately stares up at Juyeon with bright, excited eyes, “For real?!”

You could only sigh. For the first time since he came to your table, you finally decided to give him your attention. You angle your body towards him and look up to meet his eyes. “Juyeon,” you say softly, tentatively almost, like you’re testing out how it feels to have his name rolling off your tongue.

His eyes bore into yours, his lips slightly parted and body frozen. You don’t notice it though. “Don’t,” You shake your head, “You might get in trouble or something.” He blinks back into his senses at your small frown. Then he chuckles, a deep rumbling sound that you never thought you’d hear from him.

It’s an amused chuckle, a charming, almost flirty one that only makes guys like him all the more attractive. He fiddles with the rag in his hand, your eyes unconsciously following the movement and eventually focusing on his big hands and veiny forearms.

A white button down with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows... Why is that so annoyingly hot? Especially on him. “You don’t need to worry about that,” he assures you, making you fix your gaze back up to his face, which you almost wish you didn’t.

“I’m the boss’ favorite,” he winks, a miniscule smirk pulling at the corner of his lip. You want to fucking scream. From his deep chuckle to this tiny smirk, what the actual fuck? Who is this guy and what has he done to Lee Juyeon?

As you dumbly stare up at Juyeon who suddenly looks ten times more attractive than usual, you can feel Kevin’s own stare piercing right through you, a familiar shit-eating grin already plastered on his stupid face that you can see right on your periphery. Sighing in defeat, you finally look away, “Sure… Okay.”

Being behind on nearly half your classes, you find yourself spending an awful amount of time at Cafe Oasis to try and catch up. It’s not as sufficient as the library considering it isn’t always peaceful and quiet around. You also don’t have access to all the reference material you need but it works for now. Besides, you have free drinks and snacks here.

You’ve said this multiple times before and you’ll very much say it again: Juyeon is too nice for his own good. He not only kept his word about giving you free stuff if you come often but also went out of his way to take care of you and Kevin whenever you came by. He checks in on you guys when there aren't many customers around or simply sits down with you during his break to talk.

Every time you feel like your head would explode from too much information, he always seems to notice, sending over drinks and treats that he asks his co-workers to give, sometimes delivering them himself with cute encouraging messages scribbled on a sticky note attached to it.

Kevin always brightens up the moment he gets them, thanking him profusely every single time while you shyly accept yours and mumble your gratitude. You will never understand why he does this, why he’s so fucking nice to you (because you’re not quite sure if you deserve it) but still, the gesture does put a smile on your face.

“Juyeon,” you chuckle, shaking your head as he sets your new favorite drink on the table. Your fingers lightly trace the edge of the sticky note he’s attached to the cup, the tips of your lips curling upwards at the familiar handwriting. “Thank you, but don’t you think you’re going to get this place bankrupt if you keep giving us free drinks? And desserts?”

He only smiles at you, a plate of a warm blueberry muffin placed right next to your drink. “Well…” he tucks his tray under his arm and shrugs, “They’re not all free.” There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes, his smile morphing into a playful smirk at your furrowed brows. “What do you mean?”

Another shrug of his broad shoulders. “Some might be on me,” is what he says right before he walks off, leaving you blinking in surprise upon the realization. He’s already back behind the counter taking orders by the time you turn to look at him and you find yourself just staring at him over your shoulder.

His voice is so gentle when he speaks to the customers, ever so polite and accommodating with his friendly smiles and crescent eyes. His grown out fringe keeps getting into his eyes and you find it oddly endearing when he flicks his head or swipes his forefinger over it. Somewhere deep down inside you is this strong urge to brush it back with your own fingers.

Unconsciously, you start nibbling at your bottom lip, eyes still very much trained on Juyeon and his every single move. “You’re drooling…” Kevin says the moment he’s within earshot, making you snap out of the weird trance you’re in, eyes automatically turning to slits.

“Am not!” you grumble belatedly as he makes his way to his designated seat opposite you. He repeats your words back to you in a mocking tone, earning himself a kick from under the table. You ignore his groaning and instead ask, “Why’re you late? This is like the third time this week?” Kevin dramatically slumps over the table.

“Ugh, I know! Mr. Hwang’s apparently notorious for holding his class much longer than the intended time. We had no clue until he took over.”

“Yikes, what happened to Sir Cha?”

“He said he was handling too many classes so he had to drop some. I mean, no wonder he was always late. His class right before ours is in an entirely different building!”

While Kevin takes out his study materials and rants about the sudden change their class had to go through, one of Juyeon’s co-workers brings over a drink and a muffin. Kevin stops mid-sentence and claps his hands, “My fave! Oh my god, thank you so much!” Then, he turns to Juyeon, mouthing his thanks as well.

You can’t help but do the same, turning to a smiling Juyeon who’s holding his thumb up as a response. He catches your gaze easily, attention shifting to you as he mouths, “Eat.” And even gestures with his hand. You unknowingly giggle to yourself and nod at him. “Jeez,” Kevin sighs exaggeratedly.

“Right in front of my lemon blueberry muffin with crumb topping?!”

“Oh, shut up!”

For several days now, you’ve been working pretty hard on your studies. And that’s a surprise to both you and Kevin since the last time you were ever like this was at the beginning of high school. He kept saying this was too good to be true and he only proves himself right when you decided to give yourself a little treat last night and became black out drunk.

You had absolutely no clue how you even survived but what’s important is that you made it home unscathed and even managed to show up to school… even if you are hungover… perhaps for the nth time in just this one semester.

You thought the worst possible thing that could happen today was a light scolding from Kevin but you then find out that your jackass of a professor moved your deadline at the last fucking minute. So now you’re at Oasis, scrambling to finish a paper due this afternoon.

God, you want to throw up. But you’re not sure if that’s your body trying to get rid of the leftover alcohol lingering in your system or if it's the anxiousness and pressure of possibly failing if you don’t finish in time twisting your gut. You whimper at the mere thought of it.

Your head is still aching, making it difficult for you to even think straight right now but then you start shivering. You stop your intense typing to pull your cardigan tighter around you, feeling extremely cold for no apparent reason. It’s literally spring but you’re shivering as if it’s winter.

Rubbing your arms up and down to provide yourself with some type of warmth, you look back at the entrance of the cafe. Where the fuck is Kevin? Is Mr. Hwang holding his class captive again? Fuck. You’re sick and you don’t have your beloved best friend around to serve you. A pout makes its way to your lips and you sniffle.

You have no choice but to suck it up for now and just try to get your paper over with. You’re staring blankly at your screen when Juyeon suddenly sits at the spot Kevin is supposed to be. A worried look immediately etches itself on his face when his eyes search yours, “Hey, are you sick?” His voice is barely above a whisper, soft and gentle, and dripping with concern.

You blink in surprise. Because how the fuck did he know? You only greeted each other once and with the amount of customers right now, you’re sure he’s too busy running around the cafe to even pay attention to you. You don’t say anything for a moment but even if you try to deny it, there’s no point when he reaches his hand over to check your temperature himself. He frowns.

“You’re burning up,” is all he says before he stands up and walks away. You can only sigh, pushing your laptop off to the side so you can rest your head on the table. You feel like shit. You want to go home but you still have a fucking paper to finish that’s due just a few hours from now. You curse under your breath.

When is Kevin coming? How much longer are you going to have to wait for him?

In just a few minutes, your eyelids become extremely heavy. You blink lazily once, twice until you’ve given up and closed them, but just before you can succumb to sleep, you feel something being draped over your shoulders. Your eyes flutter open and the moment you look up, you see Juyeon setting down a steaming cup of what you assume is tea, along with a pack of medicine.

You blink in surprise but he doesn’t react, only tucking the tray under his arm as he attempts to open a bottle of water for you. You let out a weak chuckle, “Juyeon… You really didn’t have to.” You reach out to get the bottle from him but he doesn’t hand it over until he’s done opening it.

You scrunch your nose at him, taking it without much of a choice. And as you reach out for the medicine, Juyeon gets to it first, popping out a tablet for you. Your lips press into an awkward line. Even Kevin doesn’t do this. You’re not quite how to feel about it. Still, you silently take it from him and say your thanks.

By then, you thought he’d get right back to work but instead he stays rooted to his spot, watching you take the medicine. “Good,” he murmurs when you’ve swallowed the water. Then he pats your head and bends down to fix his jacket on you.

“Drink the tea and take your medicine again after four hours, okay? Don’t forget.”

You are speechless, motionless and unable to fucking breathe. How could you when he’s so fucking close? Warming your arms up with his big hands and brushing your hair behind your fucking ear? What the actual fuck is he doing?

He looks deeply into your eyes, like he is searching for your deepest darkest secrets within their depths and you almost feel vulnerable for that split second. But then he pulls away, eyes leaving yours to focus on something else. He smiles at someone behind you while you gulp and try to get your lungs working again.

“Kevin’s here,” he tells you gently, giving your arms a small squeeze before letting go completely. And as if on cue, the said male appears from behind you and makes his way to his usual spot. “Sup! Sorry, I’m late… again. Mr. Hwang just won’t stop talking!”

You lick your drying lips from the amount of breaths you’re taking, Kevin’s ranting and Juyeon’s little hums fading into white noise. You feel yourself begin to move again but it’s only to fidget with your fingers when you wonder why the fuck you can hear your heart beating in your ears.

“Juyeon!”

You blink back to life, not knowing you spaced out. “Coming!” He quickly hollers back to his manager. Turning back to Kevin, he gives him an apologetic smile, “Sorry, I have to get back to work. I’ll catch you guys later.” Then, he turns to you, “After four hours, okay?”

When he’s sure Juyeon is far enough, Kevin automatically gives you an expectant look, wiggling his eyebrows at you as if he’s coaxing you to tell him some juicy gossip. “Nope,” you huff, stuffing your arms into Juyeon’ large jacket. “I’m sick, Kevin... I don’t have the energy to deal with your bullshit right now.” So he pouts and lets you be.

...At least, until you’re done with your paper.

Sighing deeply, you take out your flashdrive from its port and snap your glaring eyes at your best friend. “Kevin Moon, I will literally murder you on the spot if you don’t stop.” He lets out a scandalized gasp, hand on his chest, “Wha-- I’m not even doing anything?!”

“You’re staring at me. And I know that fucking look! Stop it!” He breaks character almost immediately, snickering into his fist at how genuinely annoyed you look. “I saw everything,” he tells you, leaning in close as a shit-eating grin stretches at his lips, “I didn’t come right away because I was afraid I’d interrupt.”

You mentally groan. Great. Just great. Kevin’s not letting this one go.

Still, you roll your eyes and ignore him, shutting your laptop to a close and stuffing it into your messenger bag. “Please, so what if Juyeon has a little crush on you? Better him than… a dickwad like Hyunjae.” You heave a long and exasperated sigh, “For the nth time, Kevin. Juyeon does not have a crush on me, alright? You have to stop assuming things. He’s just--”

“Being nice. Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first bajillion times!”

“Good! So drop it.”

Kevin pouts at you but he shuts up anyway, packing his things up as well. His silence doesn’t last very long though. “What about you?” he suddenly asks, curious eyes trained on your face as you both make your way to the door. You know exactly what he means but you play dumb anyway, “What about me?”

“Do you have a crush on him? Do you like him?” You slap his arm and almost shut the door right at his face. “Yah! It’s a simple yes or no question. No need to get violent over it!” He’s right. It is a simple question. The answer should be a measly two letter, one syllable word but why is it getting stuck in your throat? Why can’t you seem to say it?

“No,” you belatedly reply, Kevin already sporting a teasing look on his face. You hit him again, “What the fuck is your deal? Why are you even asking me that?” You cross your arms over your chest defensively, eyes narrowed at the incoming cars.

“I just feel like there’s... something!” Kevin makes exaggerated gestures with his hands and you look over at him like he’s crazy, “What are you talking about, Kevin?” He pauses to think, lips pursed as he racks his brain for an appropriate word and just when you finally see an empty cab coming…

“Tension,” he blurts out and you miss your timing, the cab driving right past you. “Like thick, palpable sexual tension between you two!” Now it’s your turn to pause because yes, you’re completely aware of the tension he’s talking about but it never occurred to you that it was that type of tension until he pointed it out just now.

You look at him wordlessly and slowly, his teasing smile flattens. His face becomes a little more solemn and he looks away, now facing the road as well. He watches the cars pass by, his brows twitching and meeting in the middle. You can tell he’s thinking hard about something and that makes you uneasy.

You honestly don’t like it when Kevin gets serious like this. He always tries to knock some sense into you and you’re never ready for it. Biting the inside of your cheek, you pretend not to notice the air shift and continue to keep a look for an empty cab. You pray in your head that one shows up soon. You want to go home. You want to escape this situation.

“You’re not a relationship type of person. We both know that,” he chuckles humorlessly, “But Juyeon…” he bites his lower lip, shaking his head as he stares at the asphalt, “I don’t know honestly... but I think he might want something more than what you can offer.” The serious air around you feels heavy, suffocating almost.

You don’t get it. Why is Kevin telling you this? It’s not like it’s true that Juyeon does have some sort of thing for you. It’s only just an assumption. And that tension you both have? What about it? He already said it’s sexual tension. It’s not that deep.

Kevin catches on to your shift of demeanor and you may be oblivious to it, but being able to see right through you like you’re made of glass, he knows he’s struck a wrong chord within you. You’re his best friend and he cares about you a lot but Juyeon is also his friend. If he can save you both from a heartbreak just waiting to happen, he would.

Eventually, you were able to get a cab. And as quickly as you could, you shoved your flashdrive into Kevin’s hands, barely asking him to turn in your paper for you. The cab had driven off before he could even process what happened so he basically had no choice.

You didn’t get to see Juyeon anymore but after texting Kevin your thanks, you received a reply specifically stating that Juyeon asked him to tell you to get well soon, not to forget to take your medicine and to drink tons of water.

It amuses you why Juyeon didn’t just ask for your number instead so he could text you himself but then you remembered, he’s Juyeon. He’s a nice guy and he probably wasn’t comfortable asking for your number if it weren’t directly from you.

A soft smile makes its way to your lips as you set an alarm for exactly four hours from the last time you took your medicine. You put your phone back on your nightstand and lay on your bed quietly, thinking about many things but mostly about what Kevin had told you before you left.

Patiently, you wait for sleep to beckon you and as the day’s exhaustion finally catches up to your body, Juyeon’s denim jacket hung on your door is the last thing you see before your eyes fall shut.

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taglist: @grassbutneo

[jincherie]

kiss it better | jjk

~ COMMISSION FOR @cinnaminsvga​​ ~

✩ — pairing: jungkook x reader ✩ — genre: college/uni au, smut, cheerleader!jk, pining, borderline crack ✩ — words: 11.7k ✩ — rating: 18+ ✩ — warnings: koo takes a tumble, explicit sexual content; clothed sex, unprotected sex (not recommended), creampie, handjobs,light subby!jk, hand-holding during sex (potent), whining, thigh-riding, vaginal sex, minor hair pulling, public sex (sort of), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, light dirty talk ✩ — notes: out later than intended and a bit longer than intended !! whoops!!! i won’t/don’t charge if i go over the commissioned amount becayse that’s my bad!! but yeah. its been a hot second since i last wrote smut!! also none of my friends were awake to proofread this so….. apologies if it’s shit and has typos! its 2am! pls enjoy and lmk whast u think!!

When one goes to Kim Seokjin for advice, it’s almost guaranteed to never end well. This is something Jungkook learns quickly when he mistakenly follows treasured advice to ‘be smart’ and ‘use his assets’. He just did what he was told! Of course, the execution was a bit poor… and embarrassing. But hey, if rocking up to cheer practice in a skirt doesn’t woo your crush, what will?

masterlist | — posted; 01.03.2020

TUESDAY, SEMESTER 2 WEEK FOUR

It’s a beautiful day, the sun has just come to peak out from behind the clouds that had earlier obscured its climb from the horizon, and the grass of the Biological Sciences Library courtyard glistens with raindrops left over from the brief shower that prefaced the sun’s belated appearance. Students are finally beginning to emerge from the safety of the undercover walkways and overhangs, venturing boldly to shortcut over the grass. University life resumes, and everything falls back into its place, all as usual.

“Yah, is that Jungkook? Wait what is he—”

Well, everything except for one thing.

A red and black-clad figure slams to a stop right where two students are sitting and minding their own business outside the café attached to the back of the library—there’s no time to say hello. The table rocks dangerously on its beaten, metal leg, the impact of Jungkook’s beeline almost sending it straight to the ground if the two others weren’t already seated there to catch it.

“OW!” Jimin is never one to be quiet in his complaints, all too happy to holler his outrage at the top of his lungs. As his oldest hyung would say, no attention is bad attention. “Hey you almost jammed my fingers!”

Startled as Taehyung might have been, his focus is quickly shifted to other things. His wide eyes scan Jungkook’s panting form, taking in the clothes clinging to him like a second skin and the beet red colour of his face and ears. It’s not hard to put two and two together, but what comes out of his mouth isn’t exactly the most pressing thing he wants to ask, “Jungkook, why are you wearing the female cheer leading uniform I gave you?”

There’s a somewhat crazed look that makes itself known in the youngest’s eyes. “AHA!” he throws a finger in Taehyungs face, accusing. “So you ADMIT it’s a female uniform! Taehyung, you ass, how could you!”

Taehyung’s face is a question mark and Jimin squints, confused and still huffy about nearly losing his fingers and his triple-shot iced caramel latte that he may or may not have charmed the barista into gifting him for free. He wants to know what is going on and he wants to know NOW, damn it!

“What are you on about?” he asks, wrinkling his nose as he takes his drink into hand to prevent any future risk of spillage. “Why do you look like that time you ran the half-marathon on a dare?”

Jungkook glares at him, but it’s about as effective as it would be coming from a puppy. “Be quiet and sip your drink,” he says boldly, still attempting to get his breathing under control. Jimin considers throwing a retort back but ultimately decides against, it, shrugging and doing just that. He doesn’t want it getting warm, after all.  

“Uh, yeah,” Taehyung says, sounding like he is a split second away from tacking on ‘duh’ at the end. “You asked me for a cheerleading uniform? I thought you knew some chick that needed a spare, I didn’t know you wanted one to wear.”

At Jungkook’s dumbfounded expression, Taehyung takes the liberty of continuing. “I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with it? You look surprisingly hot in a skirt, your ass looks fine as hell. But you seem kind of angry so IN MY DEFENSE, how was I supposed to know? That you wanted a male uniform? You never specified so—”

While each word that came out of Taehyung’s mouth just seemed to rile him up more, a different look passes over Jungkook’s features at that comment. “Wait, my ass looks good?” He straightens, attempting to peer over his own shoulder to catch a glimpse. “I wonder if she… No!”

He shakes his head suddenly to clear those thoughts and get back on track, whipping that same accusing finger in Taehyung’s face once more and levelling him with a renewed glare. 

“Because of you, I just had the most humiliating experience of my life, and it was all in front of you-know-who!” His voice starts strong, but as he continues it shrinks to more of an angry whisper, his brows scrunched in a clear display of his displeasure. “I literally am about to commit seppuku.”

“Weeb,” Jimin utters at the same time as Taehyung asks, “y/n?” Jimin’s head whips up at the keyword. 

Jungkook’s fight has all but left him at this point, and he pulls out one of the metal chairs to slump in it, defeatedly. His ears are turning crimson again as he recalls the events that had traumatised him so, and he slams his head to the table with a groan, muttering to himself in a voice that sounds dangerously like a sob.

“—stupid, was so stupid of me. I never should have asked Seokjin-hyung for advice. For actually listening I deserve nothing short of death. I’m so embarrassed I’m gonna throw myself into the lake.”

“Don’t throw yourself in there, think of the fishes—” Taehyung says at the same time as Jimin squawks, “WHAT?! You got advice from Seokjin?! He knows who your crush is? Oh my god, you’re more stupid than I thought…”

It’s all Jungkook can do to simply rest his head on the grubby-feeling table, eyes unfocused as he stares into the distance and regrets almost every single decision he has made in his waking life. 

FOUR DAYS EARLIER

“My roommate,” Seokjin says, in between gratuitous sips of his monstrously sugary drink. “I think I’m almost about to get him to crack.”

“I feel bad for him,” you say, not looking up from your laptop despite the urge to gorge on your own drink. You made a goal not to look like a goblin when you woke up this morning and sipping your drink at a reasonable pace is a good start. “Being stuck in close quarters with you all the time. No doubt he needs therapy by now.”

As expected, Seokjin ignores you. You wonder if this is how he has managed not to get usurped as leader of the Contemporary Poetry Performance Club.

(To condense a very long story— he didn’t take being kicked out of the Drama Club very well. That’s on him though, he probably shouldn’t have called the Club Leader a tasteless fool for ordering a salad with his Happy Meal instead of nuggets. But, you digress.)

“I think I’m getting close these days,” the male muses, not-so-subtly making a reach for the McDonalds apple pie you have resting on the table next to your laptop. You smack his hand away without so much as a blink, more than used to having to defend any and all food from his wandering hands by this point. He continues, unaffected by the rebuttal, “Like, really close. It’s not long before my unrelenting bastardous antics wear him down and he finally breaks, spilling all his deepest secrets and confessing his long-time crush on me, thus allowing me to bring this act of friends-to-lovers pining to a close and get to the steamy stuff. “

At his spiel, you finally look at him, sporting a concerned and confused expression, if not somewhat intrigued. “… Are you talking about Jungkook?”

Seokjin chokes on the long sip he’d begun to drag up the straw, indignance making his voice rise. “NO, dumbass, I’m talking about Namjoon! Although…” He pauses only to bring a finger to stroke his chin, like a villain straight from an episode of Lazy Town, “You know, I never thought I’d be one for that harem shit, but now I think about it…”

“Gross,” you groan, wrinkling your nose. Seokjin releases a villainous cackle and you have no choice but to raise your fist in promise. He gets the message and quietens down immediately.

“No, but speaking of that little twerp,” Seokjin quickly starts up again, placing his drink down on the table. You feel an ounce of regret, knowing that means he’s about to talk for a longer time than you’re ready for. “I’m close to breaking him too.”

“He told you who his crush is?” you ask, brows raising in shock. Seokjin lets out a great sigh like the weight of the world is on his shoulders, making you snort.

“No,” he grumbles, before brightening straight after. “But! I’m getting close. He came to me for advice this morning.”

At his words, you’ve now completely abandoned whatever you were doing on your laptop and are looking at him in disbelief. “You’re lying.”

“Am not!” Seokjin denies, huffy. “He did! He wanted help making his crush fall in love with him, and so of course he came to me, Kim Seokjin, master of the heart and modern-day cupid.”

You pin him with a deadpan look. “Namjoon was out, wasn’t he.”

Seokjin’s glare is all the answer you need. He continues like you hadn’t even spoken in the first place.

“And since he so wisely came to me, of all people, and put his love life in my wise, gentle hands, I gave him the best advice anyone could possibly get.” The way his chest has swelled with pride and he’s looking all-too-pleased with himself doesn’t fill you with a good feeling. “I told him to play it smart, and use his assets.”

At first, you’re confused. “What, like… his cuteness? His endearing personality?”

“NO, dumbass, his assets! His ass! His thighs! His itty-bitty waist!” You think you hear him muttering something like ‘that lucky bitch’ under his breath, but can’t be sure. “Also, don’t think I missed you calling him cute, y/n. I’m filing that shit away for later.”

“I’ll kill you,” you inform him, but the threat has long since lost its impact. He rolls his eyes.

“Shut up, we both already know exactly how 'peggable’ you think he is.” He takes a haughty sip of his drink like he knows he’s right, and you hate that he is. “It’s not the most incriminating thing I have on you.”

You make the strategic decision not to say anything and dig your hole deeper, and Seokjin seems pleased at your silent admit of defeat.

“Anyway,” he says again, smacking the cream on top of his drink down into the liquid with a spoon. There is some fallout, but that’s never stopped him before. “Kid’s dumb as shit but pure of heart. I’m interested to see whether he will actually take my advice.”

“He won’t for sure,” you scoff, returning to your laptop at last. “Anyone who takes your advice is guaranteed to have an empty head and quarter of a brain cell to their name. Jungkook is smarter than that.”

As expected, Seokjin squawks in outrage, and it harmonises with the ambience of dead silence in your corner of the library. He doesn’t let the topic rest for the remainder of the day.    

WEDNESDAY, WEEK FIVE

You think that the day Jungkook first rocked up to cheer practice at the gym a week ago at the same time you were coaching the women’s basketball team, is one firmly burned into your memory for the rest of your life. And, honest to god, you wouldn’t have it any other way.  

Because the boy, in all his slim-waisted, sculpted-ass-and-thighs glory, had rocked up in a cheerleading crop top and skirt.

You have absolutely no idea why he decided to wear that to his first session after joining, but you do know that while the sight of him usually makes you drool, the sight of him in that made your brain cease all higher functioning and you, in essence, became a dog. You almost barked when you saw him, for real.

Even from across the room though, you’d quickly been able to gather that he hadn’t worn it on purpose (somehow), as his face flushed bright crimson and he quickly began to look like he wanted to neck himself in the middle of the gym. Yoongi, another bastard friend of yours who through a series of unfortunate events and regrettable decisions (for him) had become the cheer captain, had been insulted that Jungkook had shown up like that and “hadn’t taken cheer seriously”, and so had given him a punishment. Yoongi said that if he wanted to rock up in a skirt so badly, then for every coming practice he had to wear a skirt again.

Had you not been busy drooling you probably would have felt bad for Jungkook, as you did later when Yoongi filled you in. As it were, in the moment you’d nearly copped a basketball to the face for being so distracted. Regrettably, you’d had to turn away from Jungkook and back to your actual duties: coaching. 

Although with Yoongi being out for your blood, you have had plenty of opportunities in the past week to ogle to your heart’s desire. A real shameful amount, if you’re being honest with yourself.

“Bora!” you call, watching the girl in question halt across the gym. “Fix your footwork or I’m gonna smack you!”

The girl rolls her eyes and turns away, flicking a ponytail of dark hair over her shoulder as she does so, but listens to what you say. The familiar squeak of rubber on gym flooring fills the air as she starts the drill anew. She has a tendency to get lazy and sloppy in her movements if you don’t ride her ass, and she knows it as much as you do.

“How did you even managed to get the coaching position?” Seulgi asks from next to you, her response almost cut off by a loud racket from the cheer side of the gym. It takes all of your willpower not to fall into the trap and look over. “I feel like people like you shouldn’t be in positions of power.”

You don’t even bother arguing with her since she’s technically right and you agree. “Sheer dumb luck,” you tell her, risking a glance to the side if only to give Yoongi the stink eye. “Actually, if you really wanna know, I only went for it because Yoongi wanted it and he did something that really soured my yoghurt and pissed me off. So I applied out of spite. I probably shouldn’t have gotten the job though.”

“Huh,” Seulgi voices, eyes unfocused. “Well you’re not too bad for a fake. The team has actually been improving since you took over.”

“That’s probably because you guys went through coaches so fast for a while that for like, six months you didn’t really have one.”

“Touché.”

The only reason the girl is on the sidelines in the first place is because she’d looked over at the wrong time and caught it just as Jungkook started one of the tumbling routines, getting it almost perfect on the first go and in the process flashing his pert ass to the air and any sorry beholders. He might have been wearing bike shorts under the punishment skirt he was modelling, and he might have traded the crop top for a singlet of reasonable length, but it was still a dangerous, nay lethal sight. You’d looked over at the same time so you knew why and how Seulgi managed to tumble and trip so terribly mid-drill. She rolled her ankle so bad that as she sits next to you right now with ice on it, it looks like there’s an entire boiled egg beneath the surface of her skin. It’s kind of gross but also kind of hard to look away from. 

Back to the topic at hand, there is just something about the sheer athleticism and heaven-blessed ease with which Jungkook backflips and cartwheels across the mat that turns you into a brainless slab of goo. You’re unsurprised that Seulgi got distracted and ended up hurting herself as a result of it.

The afternoon flies by and before you know it, it’s dark outside, and you’ve finished riding the collective women’s basketball team’s ass for the day. As they disperse and leave the gym at a leisurely pace, you collect Seulgi and help her towards the gym locker room to get some fresh ice for her ankle before she journeys to visit the university nurse. 

The cheer squad has just about finished up their own practice, and one by one they begin to filter out of the gym. Yoongi waddles over to where you stand by the door, eyeing Seulgi with a knowing look.

“Got distracted at the wrong time, huh?” He asks, very much already knowing the answer. You give him a dirty look while Seulgi goes bright pink.

Yoongi adjusts the collar of his university sports jacket, puffing his chest out. “That’s our golden boy for ya,” he brags, sounding very much like one of the aunties and old women you find gossiping on the street near the markets. “He was born for cheer. It’s like he’s been tumbling since the day he was born. Probably even came out doing a backflip.”

You want to tell him to stop pulling shit out of his ass, but you can’t bring yourself to say anything when you agree so wholeheartedly. You’re saved from having to summon a response when in the next second, Yoongi gets the urge to turn and catches Jungkook red-handed on his way out of the gym. He seems in a hurry, moving almost like he’s trying to sneak out unnoticed, but halts at the unmistakable sound of Yoongi’s holler when it breaches the air.

“Ah there he is— Jungkook-ah!” Even while calling out, Yoongi somehow still has an indolent, lazy drawl. “Good job today! Also, proud of you for committing to your punishment. Keep it up!”

The poor raven-haired boy had already looked somewhat mortified at being singled out amongst the students exiting the gym, but now as Yoongi finishes speaking and his big doe eyes flick to the side and take in you and Seulgi listening in, his face very suddenly and violently erupts into a blush.

“Th-thanks,” he squeaks, nodding, the tips of his ears darkening to match his face. His eyes are flicking from you to Yoongi in such a way he almost reminds you of a scared rodent. When it becomes clear he has nothing more to say, he turns on his heel and flees in the direction of the locker room. For his sake, you don’t ogle him as he goes. There’s a time and a place, and he seems so embarrassed that you’d feel bad for checking him out right now. 

“… He’s so cute,” Yoongi remarks a few seconds after Jungkook disappears out the door, gaze still trained in the direction he’d left. “No wonder I always look over and see you drooling, y/n.”

You agree with the first part, but honestly… you could have done without that second comment. You give him the stink eye to let him know just that, before tapping Seulgi and readjusting your grip in preparation to walk once more.

“If you’re immune, Min, you’re not human,” Seulgi says, cheeky glint in her eye. Your heart warms—you can always count on her to defend you in the face of life’s meanies.

SATURDAY, WEEK 5

It’s not often you find yourself making the long, arduous trek down the street to the apartment building where Seokjin et al. live, but it does happen on the occasion. If possible, you like to make the journey in the morning or the afternoon, because there is little to no cover on the path that takes you there and the only thing you like less than being in the sun when you don’t have to is sweating.

Still, you make the trek today, even though it’s technically past the point in the morning where you would refuse. The heat starts to come anywhere from 8 to 9 o’clock, even earlier on the stinkier days. Call you lazy, but you stick by your own rules because they work and reduce your suffering considerably. 

Namjoon is one of your project partners in a random elective the two of you chose, and he was meant to give you a part of the assignment he’d been working on yesterday but, of course, forgot it. And then again today, when he was meant to drop it off on his way to work, he forgot it once more. So here you are, walking to his stupid apartment and preparing to break in because it’s due next week and you need his part to finish yours, damn it. 

Thankfully, air conditioning greets you the second you step inside the building and cools down whatever heat has managed to cling to your form from outside. Luck is on your side—no sweat today, babey! In a slightly better mood now that you’re out of the sun, you follow the path your legs have committed to memory to Namjoon’s apartment. 

Normally you’d rely on someone being home to let you in so you can ransack Namjoon’s room, but in his apologetic text he’d informed you that everyone is out and so with a great, big sigh you’d resigned yourself and dug the lockpicking set you received one Christmas out from under your bed. It’s heavy in your back pocket now as you walk down the hallway of the floor their apartment is on, already feeling like you’ve committed a crime. Before you can even throw yourself into thoughts of which tool would work best on their front door, you catch sight of something you most definitely weren’t expecting. 

There’s someone else in front of the apartment door, jiggling the doorknob and attempting to work it. You don’t know if they realise its locked and are trying their luck anyway, or whether they’ve yet to figure it out, but while their back is turned to you they have provided you with an excellent view.

Broad shoulders with tan skin peaking out from below a muscle singlet and glistening with sweat where their body catches the light. Dark curls are plastered to the back of their neck, arms out and a tattoo sleeve on one leading your gaze down its length. He’s very athletic, you gather of the stranger immediately, and you’re almost drooling at the way his bicep shifts and tenses as he tries the doorknob once more. Your gaze finally frees itself and scans over the rest of him; defined back, tiny waist, nice butt, thick thighs—

Wait. You know that waist. The sight of it bared by a skimpy cheerleading outfit is one you’ve committed to memory.

“Jungkook?” you say, feeling your stomach dip in excitement. Does it always do that when you see him? You can’t remember.

At the sound of your voice and how close it is, the male jumps in fright and lets out a noise eerily close to a squeak. He spins, slamming his back against the door and smacking a hand over his heart.

“Oh my god,” he breathes, eyes closing and head falling back against the door with a thud. The sight is borderline sinful when combined with his damp hair and sweaty form, and your thoughts threaten to take a dangerous route before you reign them in. You smack your libido back in place— down, girl! “y/n, you scared the living shit out of me.”

A moment passes before his eyes snap open and the breath leaves him in a whoosh, and he’s looking at you like a cornered rabbit, cheeks already warming in his fluster. “W-wait, y/n? What… What are you doing here?”

Cute. If you could, you think you’d pack him up and put him in your pocket.  

You ignore his question only for the sake of asking him your own—much less incriminating as a choice. “Are you trying to break into your own apartment, Mister Jungkook?”

Instantly, as you’d almost come to expect at this point, his cheeks flush cutely. 

“Wh- I, uh…” he swallows and clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “No! Kind of? I went for a jog earlier and Namjoon-hyung kind of… uh… he locked me out.”

As he speaks, you’re reminded of how much you actually like his voice. It’s smooth, melodious; even when its shaking slightly from nerves. Why is he nervous? The longer you stand in his presence the more curious you become. You kind of want to tease him a little.

You hum, a smile curling the corners of your lips and one of your brows raising.  “Ah, so he’s scorned both of us, I see. But fear not, little gumdrop!”

He’s staring at you in something akin to flustered bewilderment as you reach behind you and pull out your lockpicking kit, brandishing it like a trophy. “I have the solution!”

“…” He’s stunned into silence, it seems, but you don’t mind. The look on his face right now is super cute—you kind of want to pinch his cheeks. Okay, damn it, you can’t help it—you pinch his cheek and make a short cooing noise as you step past, preparing to help him break into his apartment. At least this way it feels less like a crime and more like a service.

(You sneak a sly look back at Jungkook as you pass him, and your heart squeezes at the sight of his cheeks flushing pink from your teasing action, eyes wide as they follow your form. This boy is gonna kill you one day.)

Usually you have a bit of trouble picking locks (you don’t do it often) but you crack this one surprisingly fast, and before you know it the door is swinging open and you’re letting out a noise of glee.

“Excellent!” you announce, before darting right in to search for what you came for. Namjoon left it conveniently on the dining table, so you dash over and grab the folder and USB before turning around to be on your merry way. 

When you return to the door, Jungkook is still standing there, tattooed hand pressed to the cheek you’d pinched – which are bright red, by the way— and his eyes somewhat dazed.

“See you at practice later, Jungkook!” you say, waving the folder to accentuate the farewell. “Don’t forget the punishment skirt! You look too good in it, it would be a crime to forget it.”

Once you’re done speaking, you turn back the way you’re walking, missing the facial expression that accompanies his flustered sputtering of a goodbye. Your stomach still flips in excitement as you retreat, a skip in your step, and you can’t help but think it wouldn’t be a bad thing if you ended up seeing more of Jungkook outside of practice.

WEDNESDAY, WEEK 6

You’re sitting in the campus sushi place, escaping the midday heat and grabbing something to eat, minding your own business. It is, though, a nice day and you don’t mind sitting back and just admiring it. This changes when a figure suddenly comes bolting towards you from a distance and nearly bowls you and the contents of your sushi container over.

“SEOKJIN!” you exclaim, barely having saved your food from a sudden and unfortunate meet & greet with the floor. You give him a glare strong enough to kill. “What the hell! My karaage chicken!!! Dude you KNOW they only make a certain amount of these per day, you almost made me drop it and I hadn’t even taken a bit yet! Honestly! You—”

“Shut! Shut up!” Seokjin grips you by the shoulders, giving you a shake; it makes your eyes lock-on to his flushed face, his breath coming in pants from his exertion. “Shut up I have something to say and it’s important!”

“Stop shaking me!” you cry, wriggling out of his grip and leaning as far back into your chair as you can to get away from this nutcase. “And what?! You finally slipped up and Namjoon found all the secret letters you write for him when you’re horny?!”

“No, better!” Seokjin makes like he’s going to grab your shoulders again and you smack his hands away. He continues, eyes alight with something akin to glee that makes him look just a little bit crazy. “I finally did it! I found out who that twerp’s crush is! You won’t beli—”

“What?!” you sputter, your gut churning for some reason. Is the sushi you ate off? “He told you? No way he would be stupid enough to tell you—”

“Hey!” the male cries, indignant. “I resent that! Also no, he didn’t technically tell me, but I have people on the inside…”

It takes a moment for you to scan through people in your head before it clicks. You gasp. “You bullied it out of his friends?! Seokjin! Taehyung and Jimin don’t deserve that!”

“I didn’t bully them! They told me of their own accord!” He points a finger at you in retribution. “Albeit, it was by accident, but I digress.”

You’re shaking your head, returning to your sushi and ignoring the odd sensations in your gut. “This is blood information, man. I don’t know if I can sit and be accomplice to—”

“It’s you!” Seokjin blurts, sticking his pink-haired head right in your face. “The twerp has a crush on you! Finally, at least one of my shipping dreams is coming true!”

You’re so shocked by the information literally thrown in your face that you honest to god almost drop your sushi, again. You stare at the male, mouth open, as you flounder to get some order back in your thoughts.

The first thing you think to say is—“What? No way. Your info is dodgy, man.”

“Look, I know you’re sensitive so I try not to say this often, but are you dumb, y/n?” Seokjin stands back now, hand on his hip.  The look he’s giving you isn’t impressed. “It makes so much sense! Why else would he sign up to cheerleading in a skirt to use his assets if it wasn’t on at the same time as whatever his crush does? Honestly, I should have seen it sooner—the way he goes bright pink every time he sees you and his eyes sparkle like an anime girl every time we mention you. I just thought he was scared of girls or had pinkeye or somethin’.”

You kind of want to smack him, but the rest of you is busy attempting to process all the information unloaded on you. Your stomach gives a giddy flip, and you decide it can only mean one thing in the wake of finding out that Jungkook’s mysterious crush is you.

Maybe, just maybe, you like him too.

…

You’re gonna pursue him. 

THURSDAY, WEEK 7

It seems that Jungkook has heard that his crush on you has been leaked, because you’ve been trying to track him down and confirm it ever since last week and he’s been avoiding you like the plague. You think you see him kicking up dust as he retreats as fast as his legs will take him around hallway corners when he sees you at the other end, you catch glimpses of him across courtyards as he spins and flees in the opposite directions. A part of you wonders whether its because he does indeed have a crush on you and is embarrassed that you know, of whether it’s because he doesn’t have a crush on you and is embarrassed that you might think he does. 

Well, you can’t know until you talk to him and it seems like you won’t be able to talk to him unless you ambush him in the men’s toilets or something. Which, by the way, isn’t something you’re going to do because even though your friends might be crazy, you’re most definitely not. 

It was even to the point that Jungkook missed the first two practices after you found out, and you have no doubt that he would have avoided you by missing even more had Yoongi not threatened him with adding a crop top to his punishment attire should he miss another practice. He’d showed up for the next one but every time he came within five metres of you he blushed and kept his eyes to the ground, fleeing as soon as he can. 

It’s a little bit frustrating, and he’s still cute when he acts all shy, but you really wish you could track him down just so you know whether its true or not.

Perhaps, with time, he’ll grow a little less skittish and let you get close enough to start a conversation. You just have to hold out hope that a moment will come that will allow you to start bridging things back together with the two of you.

FRIDAY, WEEK 7

That moment comes sooner than you expect when, just the next day, you round a corner alongside Seulgi, having just come from the women’s locker rooms, and walk straight into someone. It’s like walking into a brick wall and kind of hurts. You stumble and let out a sound in pained surprise, but manage to stay on your feet for the most part— the joy at that moment of success passes quickly when you become aware of the cool feeling seeping down your thigh and stomach.

Before even looking to see who you walked into, your gaze is directed down to see what was spilt on you— it’s light pink, and the sugary sweet scent that brushes your nose and sticky sensation that begins to make itself known on your skin are something you recognise instantly.

Strawberry milk.

You look up in something akin to horror, but the expression all but falls from your face when you see who the culprit is.

Jungkook stands there looking very much like a deer caught in headlights, drink carton crumpled and empty in his hand now that its contents are all over your front. As you gaze at him you watch the tip of his ears turn bright red, eyes wide and so unguarded you swear you can see the thoughts whipping through his mind beyond them. You also see the instant regret and mortification that washes over his boyish features as he realises what has just happened and who he has spilt his drink on.

“y-y/n—” he stutters, voice caught in his throat. Whatever he was planning on saying is quickly overpowered by an obnoxious voice from his side.

You hadn’t even noticed Yoongi was walking alongside Jungkook until you hear him speak, “Wow, you know what you were coming around that corner so hard and fast that this is on you, y/n.”

When Yoongi first started talking, Jungkook had seemed relieved, but now a sense of panic has taken over his features. 

“N-no! I am so sorry! This was my fault, I shouldn’t have had it open when I couldn’t even drink it yet. I just really like strawberry milk, and…” He’s so endearingly remorseful as he speaks, big puppy eyes looking apologetically into your own like he’s searching for any hint of forgiveness there to spare.

For a moment you’re absolutely blindsided by the way he just made your heart squeeze in your chest with how damn cute he is, but you recover just in time to catch it as the shocked expression on Yoongi’s face melds into something devious and fitting for his bastardly title.

“Right, he’s right, totally our bad,” Yoongi says, doing a complete 180 and bewildering both you and Seulgi beside you. “Wow, look at your pants, totally soaked through man. Here, come with me— it’s only fair we help grab you something to change into.”

“What—” you don’t get to finish before the cat-faced bastard grabs you by the arm and begins dragging you down the hall in the direction you came from. Seulgi and Jungkook remain in place, stunned by the turn in events. 

“Jungkook, head to practice and get them started! I want some pyramid practice, and then some tumbling from you and the others. Chop chop!” — is all Yoongi throws over his shoulder in dismissal, dragging you where you now realise is one of the other locker rooms. You gape at him as he walks straight up to the one that has been locked for months and opens it with a key.

Catching your expression, he shrugs. “Sometimes you just need a place of your own to hoard things.”

You don’t understand what he’s talking about until you step in and see a table in the corner near the doorway piled high with first aid supplies, twiggy sticks and energy drinks. Your bewildered subsequent scan of the room for more treasured objects is cut short when a lump of clothing smacks you in the face.

You just barely manage to fumble it into your grasp, unable to swallow your groan when you see what it is from the pattern alone.

“It’s the only thing spare,” Yoongi says, radiating true goblin energy. You don’t trust him as far as you can throw him right now but you don’t know where to look to disprove him. “Try not to get my cheerleaders too worked up.”

You have an inkling as to why he’s done this from his words, but can’t confirm it right now. You huff, moving off to one of the stalls. 

“If people get flashed, that’s on you.”

Ten minutes later sees you back in the open gymnasium with cool air brushing your legs that usually only get to see the light of day through rips in your jeans. You set your team to their tasks and drills already, so now you’re left alone with your thoughts. You know for sure now why Yoongi made you change into the cheerleading skirt.

Because ever since you walked out in it and nearly made him fall flat on his face in shock, Jungkook hasn’t been able to keep the blush off his cheeks or his eyes away from you for more than a few minutes at a time. You feel slightly empowered, contrary to how you thought the dangerously short piece of clothing was going to make you feel. 

You have a nice body, you’re comfortable admitting it, and the way that your unplanned flaunting of it seems to be affecting Jungkook… well it’s a nice stroke of the ego, you won’t lie, but it also makes your stomach flip giddily. God, you want him. You’ve always thought he was cute but ever since he joined cheer and rocked up in that skirt like a sweet, hot fool, it was over for you. He’s so… ugh.

Trucking through the practice of your team is, for once, a struggle. It’s so hard not to look over every few seconds to catch Jungkook when you can feel his gaze on you, and you know that once you give in you won’t be able to help being distracted afterwards. It’s a miracle you get through to the end of it while remaining sane. 

As your practice wraps up for the day, you allow yourself a glimpse to the side at last. What you see is a sweaty, panting Jungkook, the muscles of his arms straining as he holds up a brunette you vaguely recall as Tzuyu above his head. Wow, you’re actually a little startled at how much arousal just washed through you— is this normal? Maybe you’re more whipped than you thought. You don’t know.

What you do know, however, is that you want that boy, and right now especially you want to mess with him. Call it a con of being around such bastardous friends all the time, but you’re really feeling the urge. You barely manage to hold yourself back, marvelling at the animal he seems to reduce you to with just a flex of his bicep.

The practice for your basketball team finishes before cheerleading; Yoongi is a ruthless coach and relentless when it comes to formations and perfecting routines. More often than not their practices end long after yours. As your girls begin to filter out of the gymnasium, the cheer squad are still going. You make to follow after, but your name is called from the other side of the gym by a voice you recognise but know instantly shouldn’t be here. 

“y/n! Come here! Don’t ignore me!” Seokjin is the fiend in question, hollering at such an unmistakable frequency that you couldn���t ignore it if you tried. It’s like he’s followed in the footsteps of cats and has pinpointed the exact frequency that a baby’s cry is at, and is now using it to his advantage. You turn, wary, and see him waving like a dumbass. “Come here! Don’t make me pspspsps!”

Now annoyed, you stomp over if only so you can get within beating range. As soon as you reach a few feet away he ducks behind Yoongi though, so you don’t get to follow through on your caveman instincts to beat him over the head with a rock.

“What?” you ask, giving him a stinky look. “Are you like, stalking me or something? Why are you so obsessed with me?”

You can tell he wants to laugh, but his instinct to rile you up overpowers the humour of what you said. “You think you’re worth stalking? I don’t need to stalk you to know that your day consists almost entirely of eating, shitting, and staring at a certain ass.”

Well, he has you there. You shrug, “I’m a simple girl.”

Seokjin is momentarily bewildered that you didn’t rise to his bait and Yoongi chokes on his laughter beside you, the sound coming out squeaky. You’re glad someone is laughing, it makes your dick hard when people find you funny. Again, you’re a simple girl.

“Nice outfit, by the way,” Seokjin says. Apparently it doesn’t take him long to recover, and he’s already shifted topics. 

Yoongi, who had broken away to guide his team for a moment, chimes back in at the taller male’s comment. “It’s all apart of the keikaku, man. Everything is going perfectly. My golden boy is almost too fun to torment. I’ve tasted power and now I don’t know how to stop.”

“Who?” Seokjin asks, more out of habit than anything, before looking over to Yoongi’s minions and letting out a sound of realisation. “Ahh… Mister Jungkook.”

You swear you see the male in question, who is waiting his turn to begin the tumbling routine Yoongi has changed them onto, stiffen. You’re not sure whether it is a trick of the light or not, though, because in the next second he’s shuffling forward to second in line, juggling his weight from foot to foot with restless energy. His eyes are trained on his teammates flipping across the matts. 

“So you know too? y/n, you big-mouthed whore!” Seokjin exclaims, pinning you with an exaggerated look of scandal. Jungkook trips slightly in his step as he moves to the front of the line, barely a few metres away.

You don’t bother defending yourself, since Yoongi speaks before you can anyway. “That y/n likes Jungkook and has wanted to peg his cute ass since forever? Yeah, I know.”

The timing of Yoongi’s response is truly unfortunate. As he started speaking, Jungkook began his run up— and it seems that whatever snippet he heard as he started were enough to throw him off completely. He goes into the front flip kind of wonky, and you have a feeling of dread creep up as you watch him.

He doesn’t do the mid-air turns he is meant to, and instead goes to land after just one flip— the timing is off, though, and your breath hisses through your teeth and you physically cringe as you watch his ankle roll upon landing. 

“Ah SHIT!” he yelps, quickly dropping to the mat and removing pressure from his foot. You feel frozen as you watch, a large number of his teammates running over and asking him if he’s okay.

“Oh feck,” Yoongi says, checking his watch as he mutters to himself. “Shit. Okay we need to practice and only have the gym for another forty-five minutes, but he needs that looked at asap. Who…”

Barely a split-second passes before he’s looking right at you imploringly, with an inappropriately devious glint in the back of his eyes. 

“y/n, you’re free and you have first aid training right? Can you take him to get that wrapped and iced up?” He’s not even done asking you before he’s pushing you in the direction of the male currently curled on the floor. “That room should still be open— I forgot to lock it earlier.”

“Wait, I actually have—” you’re about to let him know about the mountain of schoolwork you have to catch up on, but of course he’s not having any of it. He’s already barking at his squad.

“Okay, everyone, back off and back to tumbling! y/n here will take care of our golden boy, we have the gym for the next forty-five minutes and we’re gonna make the most of it, damn it!”

Yoongi abandons you at Jungkook’s side, and at his command the rest of the cheerleader begrudgingly disperse— you think you catch a few of the female ones giving you the stink eye at their lost opportunity, and you know it shouldn’t stroke your ego but still it does. 

“I guess this is how the Kookie crumbled, huh,” you say, embarrassed that he could have heard all of what Yoongi said and attempting to cope using the classic— humour. 

Jungkook, who had turned his wide eyes and red face to you the second you started talking, now seems to be blushing harder. Evidently, for a number of reasons, he is mortified. It’s like he’s trying to hide behind the long curls that have fallen into his face. Needless to say, it’s not successful, and now both of you are embarrassed. One of you needs to take the lead.

But right now neither of you are wearing the pants.

“Alright, let’s get that looked at,” you say, wincing as you look at his ankle already beginning to swell. “Arms up.”

He obeys instantly and without question, and you’re torn between the primal powers within you wanting to both cuddle him and to drop your panties then and there. 

Getting Jungkook to a standing position while he can only use one leg is harder than you could have imagined, but you know that there’s no way you would have been able to lift him had he not helped you carry his weight. Once he’s upright and his arm is around your shoulder (still panting slightly and glistening with sweat, as you’re trying not to think about) you begin the arduous journey to the locker room Yoongi showed you earlier. 

Jungkook doesn’t really say anything during the trip there, and neither do you— except he has an excuse, considering he’s probably in a fair bit of pain right now. You don’t have an excuse, except that you’re trying desperately not to think about how you can feel each hard line of his body against you right now. It’s a whole-brain engaging kind of activity.

Thankfully, the room is unlocked as Yoongi said, and you grab a towel to lay across one of the cleaner looking benches on the far side of the room— just because its cleaner than the others doesn’t mean it’s clean, per se. You smile when you see Jungkook’s thankful expression.

“Right,” you say, staying in front of where he’s sitting for a moment as you shake your arms out; the boy really is just all muscle, honestly. “Pop your ankle up on the bench, and I’ll grab some ice and stuff to wrap it.”

Jungkook nods, obeying wordlessly. His cheeks still are tainted the slightest pink, and he’s making a point to avoid meeting your gaze. Fighting a smile, you move to Yoongi’s stash and grab what you need, spotting some high-end painkillers and immediately adding them to the pile in your arms.

When you return to his side, you seat yourself on the bench beside his leg— thankfully, they’re wide enough that neither your butt nor Jungkook’s leg has to be sacrificed for the fit. You go through the motions with him, poking and prodding and bending to assess the damage; it’s just a bad sprain, but damn if each watery look he gets at the pain doesn’t make you want to coddle him to death. 

Surprisingly, he’s still silent as you go about icing and wrapping his ankle. You contemplated filling the silence but you’re not good at chit chat or small talk, so refrain and settle for humming softly instead. Considering the rollercoaster of feelings he’s spun you through today, you’re almost disappointed that a wrap on his ankle is all that’s going to come of this. 

Which is stupid, of course. You know. You digress.

You’re still somewhat disappointed as you finish up, popping the excess bandage back in its container. “Okay! You’ll need to…”

You make the mistake of meeting his gaze, and for once he doesn’t shy away from it— there’s something about them, the endless chocolate depths and the doe-eyed look, that completely disarms you for a moment. Blinking, it takes all your might to stop yourself from studying as you continue. “Ahem, uh… you’ll need to keep it elevated, when possible. Compressing it is ideal. Also, for swelling, ice it for 20-30 minutes every 2-3 hours for the first day or so…”

He blinks up at you, and you smile. “Any questions?”

Something intriguing crosses his gaze and he bites his lip, flushing slightly. Oh, he is doing a number on your willpower. You need to get out of here.

“Yeah, uh…” He clears his throat, continuing straight away. You watch even more colour rush to his cheeks, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. “About earlier… when I stacked it… Was what Yoongi said true?”

Well. You were not… expecting that. For a moment you’re stunned into silence, self control hanging by a thread. “What… Yoongi said?”

Jungkook gives you a look like he can’t believe you’re making him say it. “That you, um…”

Humiliated but deciding to face it head on, you ask him with your own cheeks heating, “Are you asking about the pegging or the, uh… the liking you part?”

To your surprise, Jungkook chokes and stiffens in place, eyes shooting wide and face and ears going beet red. “I, um… I only heard the liking part…”

OH. Well. You kind of want to die, but… at least now he knows?

 …You’re gonna throw yourself off a bridge.

He must mistake the cause of your silence for something else, because he seems to panic. “B-because, um, I know you know how I feel, and it’s okay if you don’t um— I was just wondering—”

In the midst of his spiel, you take a seat on the bench, closer to him than you were last time. It only makes him grow more flustered before you press a finger to his lips to shush him. He gets the message and falls silent instantly, making your heart skip a beat at his ready obedience. God, are you an animal?! Really?!

“I was trying to track you down to confirm it, you know,” you say, shoving your embarrassment into a box in the far reaches of your mind. Time to swallow your pride.  “But you kept avoiding me.”

Jungkook’s eyes are still wide. “Oh… sorry.”

You smile at his soft, uttered apology. Testingly, tentatively, you shift your hand and rest it on his hip. His whole body stiffens once more, but its more in surprise than discomfort. “What would you do if it was true, hm?”

Like a deer caught in headlights, he’s momentarily speechless. When your thumb rubs against the hard line of his hip bone, drawing a shudder, he jerks back into motion.

“Oh my god, you—” he’s dazed before he narrows his eyes at you, voice dropping to a whisper that’s somewhat tinged with hurt. “Are you teasing me?”

You manage to hold back the laugh but can’t help the smile that rises at his words. “I always get the urge to tease you, Jungkook, but it’s not to be cruel.” You lean forward, holding his gaze. “I probably never grew out of that kindergarten stage.”

It takes a second for what you said to sink in. The way that hope enters his eyes is so cute that you’re humiliated at the urge to squeal that rises. “So, you…”

It’s embarrassing to say the words out loud, especially considering the filth running through your mind right now, and you can’t quite bring yourself to. Teasingly, you bring your other hand to his thigh, brushing the edge of the skirt with your thumb and enjoying the way he shivers. “It’s embarrassing to say out loud, so if you want to hear it, you’re gonna have to work for it.” 

The soft, excited gasp he lets out emboldens you to carry out your next action— you move the hand on his hip, brushing your fingertips up the side of his slim waist before bringing them back down to rest over his crotch. 

To your complete and utter surprise, there is already some firmness there that greets you. At your curious gaze, he flushes pink.

“It’s the skirt,” he confesses, averting his gaze to your lap for the briefest second. “You look really good in it…”

Not that your ego needs more stroking, but you’re happy to let it happen anyway. You hum, beginning to move your hand— he stifles a gasp.

“I know,” you say, grinning. It’s ridiculous how your stomach flips, arousal beginning to trickle into your abdomen and ache in the apex of your thighs. “I could feel you looking at me. I caught you a few times, too.”

He’s embarrassed, you can tell, but the current situation doesn’t leave much room for dignity as it is anyway. Still, you can’t help but tease him some more, voice soft as you rub over his growing bulge and lean closer. “Do you always look at me, Jungkook?”

He squirms, a gasp slipping out before he attempts to send you a glare. “This is embarrassing,” he whines. You raise a brow, increasing the pressure of your hand, and he is quick to amend his response in a whisper, “…Yes.”

“And what do you imagine, when you look at me?” you ask, unable to deny the thrill running through your veins and lighting heat in your abdomen. You pause your ministrations only to move your hand to the top of his skirt and slip beneath the material. This time a moan slips out before he can stop it. “Is it things like this?”

He lets his head fall back against the wall, looking at you through hazy, lidded eyes. “Yes,” he admits, and for how readily he supplied the answer you reward him by slipping your hand beneath the rest of the layers over his hips and wrapping your fingers around his hardening length.

He whines— actually whines— and rolls his hips into your hand, thick thigh tensing beneath the grip of your other hand. The resulting wash of arousal that floods over you is so sudden it almost makes you dizzy.

“Oh, you’re a good boy,” you mutter it without much thought, but surprise filters through you when you feel his length twitch and flush with heat in your hold at the words. Ah— he likes a bit of praise, does he? You slide your free hand up his thigh, working the waistband of his skirt and bike shorts down until they rest just past the beginning of his thighs. It’s like you’re looking at a work of art, you marvel slightly— the curls that begin to trail down a little below his belly button, the sculpted line of his hip bones and the hints of his abs that show as his body tenses. You’re just one woman.

“Does it feel as good as you imagined, Jungkook?” you aimed to speak louder but it comes out sort of breathy. You trail your fingers down the tan skin of his abdomen before gripping the material of his bottoms and using the moment to free his length.

If you didn’t have such a firm grip on it, you know it would have sprung back against his stomach— you try not to let your surprise show, either, because you could feel that he was packing, but seeing it is another thing and your stomach flips in giddy anticipation. Jungkook’s chest heaves as his breath quickens, eyes boring into you and hands bunching in the material of the punishment skirt. You stroke your hand along his length, pressing your thumb along the underside and relishing in the shudder it elicits.

“y/n,” he whines softly, face flushing as his cock twitches in your hold. Whether he’s forgotten you even asked a question or simply is too overwhelmed to answer right now, you don’t know. 

As for how you’re doing— you’re so turned on right now that in all honesty you don’t know what to do with yourself. A solution comes to mind quickly and you don’t have the usual self control you do to stop yourself. 

Mindful of his injured leg, you rise, keeping your grip on him as you do so. His lidded gaze follows you, soft gasps escaping him all the while.

“Give me your leg,” you instruct, relishing how quickly he listens. Presented with his thigh, you swing one of your legs over the other side of the bench and rest on it so that as little weight as possible is on his bad leg, your knees brushing his hips. As soon as you’re lowered, you can’t help but gasp and roll your hips— the only thing separating you and the smooth skin and hard muscle of his thigh is the thin layer of your damp panties, and the stimulation on your clit makes your entire core throb in arousal.

Apparently this is also one of the things he’s imagined, because Jungkook lets out a low, gasping moan and rolls his hips up into your hand— which, of course, makes his thigh muscles tense and shift, rubbing oh so nicely against your clit. You almost fall off from the jolt of pleasure that shoots up your spine, free hand shooting to grab his bicep, “Ah, Jungkook!”

He apparently has the sense of mind to support you by using the arm in your hold to reach and grip your hip. Generous amounts of precum have started to bead at his tip, and you drag your hand up his girth, collecting it on your thumb and smearing it down his length for lubrication. It elicits a whine, another roll of his hips, and like that you settle into a rhythm of sorts.

“y/n.” Each gasp and moan he lets out have to be specially designed to ruin you, you decide. He seeks your gaze with hazy, lust-ridden eyes. “Please kiss me.”

It’s a brazen request coming from him of all people, and you’re all too happy to oblige. You lean forward, the rock of your hips making you shudder, and connect his lips with your own— he’d sought your kiss as you did so, craning his neck forward and awaiting your lips. It’s a heated kiss from the beginning, given the situation— you don’t fight for dominance so much as assume it from the start. Each press of your tongue, graze of your teeth, has a new sound tumbling from his throat and into your mouth. It makes your heart race even harder than it already was.

It doesn’t take long for tension to begin to build in your abdomen, and you know if you’re already feeling it then he must be even closer. Not wanting this to end just yet, you force yourself to slow your hand down, breaking the kiss and shifting to press your mouth to his neck.

“Wh-what—” he gasps, shuddering as your thumb plays with his slit, rhythm slowed to a stop. Both of you are panting, almost, and you suckle a mark into the junction of his neck before pulling back with a grin.

“Surely that isn’t all you’ve imagined, Jungkook.” You lean forward, pressing a brief kiss to his mouth before pulling back— the way he chases your lips makes your heart squeeze. “What now? Be a good boy, tell me.”

Far from being embarrassed at this point and all but a slave to the haze of lust in the air, Jungkook’s breath hitches and he responds, somewhat tentative if anything, “… ride me.”

“Good boy,” you breathe, offering him a proud smile. He preens beneath your fond look.

You shift, and you think that he must have expected you to stand up fully and remove your clothes, or at least your bottoms, but to his surprise you simply shuffle up and reach beneath your skirt, slipping your panties aside and aligning his member with your entrance. You’re so turned on that you’ve soaked through your underwear, and you know you’ve smeared enough precum along his length that lubrication will be no problem. So you simply lower yourself down until his head parts your lips and begins to sink into you.

At the sheer size of him even as just the tip enters your cunt, you have to halt, gasping, “Fuck!”

If he wanted to respond, you don’t really give him time to; as soon as you get your bearings you continue sinking down onto him. There is a slight burn, of course, but you’re so turned on that it fades quicker than you can register. The sensation of him, the throb, his girth and the way he splits your walls, stretching you more and more as you seat yourself on him— it’s indescribable, and all you can offer is that it feels so good you swear tears are gonna prick at your eyes. From the look on his face, brows scrunched and mouth parted as a long, low groan slips out, you know it must feel just as good for him.

When the back of your thighs press against the top of his his and he’s fully sheathed in you, you feel like you’re about to lose your mind— this position has him so deep in your pussy that with each miniscule shift the tip of his cock presses against a spot that sends delicious jolts of pleasure up your spine. Honestly, if you weren’t so intent on seeing this through, you think you could cum from that sensation alone. 

Even as you’re in a mess of pleasure and a haze of desire, you can’t help but tease him some more. You clench your insides, rolling your hips— the sharp, lilting moan he lets out makes your stomach flip. “What now, baby boy?”

You hold his hips down with your hand, feeling them twitch with the urge to rock up into you. A long, drawn groan escapes him. “Do you want to see me? More of me? Or do you want to feel me?”

You take his hand into your hold and guide it up to your chest, slipping it beneath your shirt and bra to cup your breast. His breath hitches, lashes fluttering against his cheekbones as he blinks and attempts to clear the haze from his vision. You relish in the control you have over him until his thumb brushes your nipple and he pinches it, tweaking it instinctively. A moan tears from you, the shock of pleasure that results making you clench around him again; his free hand scrambles for purchase against your thigh, fingers digging in as pleasure washes over him in turn.

Your breath is coming a little faster now. Leaving his hand at your chest, you move it to drag up his neck before threading your fingers in the damp curls at the back of his neck. Finding a firm grip, you tug his head back ever so lightly— it elicits a new moan that you haven’t heard yet, and you really begin to think this boy will be your undoing. 

“What do you want?” you ask again, rolling your hips once more. It isn’t fair of you, you know, since you can hardly think yourself from the sensations. “You want me to move, baby boy?”

He nods, attempting to speak through the moan caught in his throat. “Please… fuck me, y/n.”

Well, who are you to say no to that?

Happy to oblige, you engage your thighs and begin to rise— the sensation of him dragging against your walls makes both of you gasp, and you almost falter in your movements from the feeling alone. Gathering your wits as best as you can, you continue your movements, successfully rising and then seating yourself once more. Unable to withhold much longer, you roll your hips and begin to set the two of you into a rhythm.

You stopped paying heed to the noises escaping you a while ago, but you don’t doubt that the sinful sounds tumbling from Jungkook’s mouth as you ride him are a large contributor to the way the tension in your abdomen quickly begins to knot and bundle once more.

Even with as heavenly as it feels, it’s hard to keep up momentum when your thighs begin to burn. Thankfully, Jungkook has more than enough stamina in his thigh muscles for the both of you, and when he senses your fatigue, he brings his grip to your hips to hold them in place before rocking his own up and beginning to fuck up into you.

Needless to say, the pace he sets is much faster and much harder than the one you had. Swears tumble softly from your mouth at the change in intensity of pleasure as it shoots through you, orgasm already approaching much faster than anticipated. Your hands come to grip his on your hips with a cry of his name, knees turning to jelly. 

Movement against your hand surprises you, but not as much as the sensation of Jungkook’s hand shifting to thread his fingers with yours. You honestly feel your heart burst, and as he fucks up into you that bit harder you can’t help the way you clutch his hand like a lifeline, the sweet moment quick to pass but most definitely not forgotten. 

“G-gonna cum,” you gasp, eyes closing and allowing the slap of skin and Jungkook’s gasping moans to overtake your senses. You don’t forget to indulge him in some praise. “Such a g-good boy, making me feel so g-good.”

He whines at your words, and right as your pleasure approaches its peak you feel his hips stutter and slam up into yours harder than all the times before. The stimulation of that spot deep inside of you is all that’s needed to push you into the throes of your orgasm, and it washes over you more intensely than you’ve ever felt before as you clench and tense with a cry of his name.

Distantly, you feel his own grip on you tighten, and his hips still as they’re pressed against yours. Warmth floods your core, cock throbbing as he empties inside you, and you swear you hear the softest of confessions uttered to the air as he joins you in your high.

He comes down before you do, although you’re not far behind him, and for a moment you sit in place, panting and attempting to come back to your senses. He’s softened inside you slightly, but when you shift and clench on instinct as you do so, feeling cum slide down your thighs, he twitches  and throbs inside you.

Taken aback, your gaze whips to him and now that his shame has returned to him, he has the decency to blush. Well, apparently Jeon Jungkook’s stamina really is no joke. Maybe he really was born to be an athlete.

“Greedy. You want more?” There’s a teasing lilt to your voice, and a thrilling mix of fear and excitement dances in his eyes.

“y/n—” he rasps, desperate. You slide off of him, making both of you groan, but return to your previous position on his thigh. He moans as he feels his own cum leak out of you and onto his skin. When your hand comes to wrap around his slick member, he jolts and whines.

“You wanna tell me what you said just before?” you ask, beginning to twist your wrist and stroke his cock ever so slowly. He shakes his head, whether at your question or the overstimulation, you’re not sure— you know it’s probably a bit of both though, considering he twitches in your hold.

“‘S embarrassing,” he murmurs, back arching as you increase your pace just a little. “Ah, y/n!”

“I see. You know, I think I can get you to cum again,” you say, changing tactics. 

Jungkook shakes his head, strands of his raven hair plastered to his forehead in sweat. “I can’t—”

“You should tell me,” you say, teasing lilt to your tone. He whines, rocking his hips into and then away from the sensations. 

When he shakes his head again, letting it fall back against the wall and baring the column of his throat to you, you jump on his acceptance of the situation. You pick up speed, rolling your wrist and moving in tune with the shifting of his body. It doesn’t take very long before his oversensitivity throws him into another orgasm, stronger than the last but dryer. The few beads of cum that escape seem ever so tantalising as they roll down his length, drawing your gaze.

“You gonna tell me now?” you ask, already knowing the answer. Jungkook slumps against the wall, breathing heavy and sweat glistening on his golden skin. He looks at you through heavily lidded eyes.

“It’s still embarrassing,” he whines, breathy in his exertion.

Right, well. You know what he said, but you want to hear him say it with his own mouth once more and you’ll stay here all night to make that happen if you need to.

Of course, it’s not until a while and another heated moment or two later that Jungkook realises this and gives in.

His confession is so much sweeter on your ears the second time, and of course, as promised, you reward him with your own. It’s worth it for the way it makes his eyes shine, you think. 

Jeon Jungkook really has you well and truly whipped. 

a/n: thank u for reading and i hope u liked it! im super excited to have completed my first commission and would really appreciate it if u let me know what u think by sending me an ask and liking & rbing this with ur thoughts!! i read & appreciate everything!! thank u !! love u !! peace out !! :D

[luvknow]

anything for you | lee felix

genre: rich kid!felix x reader | rich kid au ; friends-to-lovers au ; food ; swearing warning ; alcohol warning ; drinking and driving warning ; abuse warning summary: felix’s family owns the largest restaurant franchise in the country and your family works under them. you two have spent your entire lives together and somehow you’ve turned into mini versions of your parents with a boss and secretary type relationship. it wasn’t until last year on his birthday when he tells you he loves you while drunk that your friendship dynamic dramatically changes, and it’s not for the better when he pretends it never happened. wc: 11.2k

You and Felix were two peas in a pod.

From the moment you two were born until your last months at university, you were tied in this relationship for life. Were you two dating? No, of course not! Were you two friends? Well…

Your friendship with Felix was complicated because it was kind of… bought. There was no way to put it lightly, that was simply the origin of your relationship. It all started when Felix’s rich ass CEO of a Dad hired your Dad to be his right hand man in all decision-making aspects of the company he ran. You thought of your Dad as a Chancellor to the King, which I mean was still a high position in the company, but your peers around you thought otherwise.

You attended all the same schools as Felix (thanks to his Dad’s connections), attended the same after school activities (also thanks to his Dad), and even attended the same overseas summer camps (thanks to his Dad who owned the plane that flew everyone). Even then, after being on the same level as Felix for over twenty years, everyone saw you as Felix’s Secretary who waited on his every word. As a kid, your Dad was transparent about how all the privileges you had were all because of Felix and his family and that you should always treat them with respect. And as an impressionable kid, of course you took that a little too literal.

Your Secretary title started in Pre-School when Felix was crying because he forgot his toy to take a nap with at home, so you offered yours. Those small, kind gestures turned into getting him drinks and snacks whenever he wanted, to tutoring him in subjects he had trouble with, to completing essays he didn’t want to complete, and you did it all without ever complaining.

So despite receiving all the same opportunities as all the other inheritance-dependent kids, you were the bottom-feeder of your entire grade.

“_____ ~” Felix whined while entering your apartment. “I’m hungry.”

You exited your bedroom fixing the last couple buttons on your dress shirt. You’re not surprised to see him in the least, as you’re used to him coming in whenever he pleased since he owned the other copy of the apartment keys. “I have food in the fridge.”

“I don’t want a huge meal before the shareholders meeting.”

“You know where the snacks are, what are you waiting for?”

“I just wanted to ask just in case.”

The excited boy wasted no time invading your pantry and grabbing a handful of fruit snack packets, some he stuffed in his dress pants pockets and some he immediately tore open. He made himself home by flopping on your couch, also known as his second bed, and scrolled through his rotation of dating apps while waiting for his dear friend to finish getting ready.

“Don’t lie down like that!” you nagged. “Your pants are going to get all wrinkly!”

Rolling his eyes, Felix sat up straight, to which you immediately fixed random strands of hair  that strayed away from the rest of his slick-back style.

“What are you, my mom?” he mumbled, swatting away your hands.

“Don’t you know how important this meeting is? We could land our internships today.”

“Do you really think I need to worry about that?”

“I guess not… You don’t even want to try out another company for a semester? Scope out your partners?”

“That’s exactly why I shouldn’t be doing that. I’ll look so shady! You probably shouldn’t be thinking about doing that either.”

A small pout emerges from your lips. As much as you owe the Lees and their company your life, you’d like to think the possibility of freeing yourself from their financial shackles was high, even if it was for just one semester. But Felix was right - in order to avoid any spying controversies, it was probably best to not even think about another company. Basically, you were trapped with this company for life.

“Ready to go?” Felix broke the silence. He was the first to leave your couch and head for the door without even bothering to wait for you to catch up.

When you finished locking your front door, you caught Felix looking at your business casual outfit a little too closely. If you weren’t so quick with your reflexes, you would have bumped right into his oddly bulging chest (has he been working out lately?). Still, his foxy eyes scanned you up and down, slowly and intimately.

“Wh-What are you doing…?” you asked nervously. “Is my outfit too bland? It’s ugly, isn’t it? I can’t really glam up for a business meeting, you know.”

“Chill, why are you being hella defensive right now?” he teased. “No, you look good. Honest. Good enough to stand next to me, at least. I wouldn’t stand next to Father if I were you.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“You kind of fit that secretary stereotype you like so much. Especially since you’ll be following me around all day.”

“I do not!”

“Yeah, ok,” Felix tossed you the keys to his expensive black sports car, to which you were also covered as a driver by his insurance. For someone who owns several expensive cars, he sure hates driving them. “Shotty.”

“There’s only two of us…”

The car ride was mostly silent other than the deafening rap music that blared through the subwoofers. Felix could tell you were nervous depending on how talkative you were. If you were blabbering on about how you looked or something arbitrary for at least fifteen minutes, you were probably nervous about a date or maybe a quiz that was coming up in class. If you were silent, he knew that the matter was much more serious. Silence meant that you believed no matter what you did to change yourself or improve upon past mistakes, there was no hope and that whatever was coming was absolute.

“Don’t worry about today,” he reassured after reading your mind. “It’s not like you’re talking in front of hundreds of people at the meeting.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re used to this type of crowd.”

“Are you not? We have class with those good-for-nothing kids of theirs, it’s like the same thing!”

“It is definitely not the same thing! These people have power and they’re smart! The uni is full of idiots who got in with bribes!”

“And you don’t think our shareholders do their fair share of bribing?”

“Of course they do, and that’s what makes them even more terrifying, Felix! They have that kind of power to either buy my entire life or buy out and make sure I never see anyone’s faces again!”

“You say it like you haven’t been shackled to me for over twenty years.”

“That’s different ok, I was a commodity, I couldn’t change anything as a fetus.”

“And now you think you can?”

“I mean, I’d like to think so. Am I crazy?”

“No, not at all.” Gingerly, Felix patted your head like a little kid. “You’ll be just fine ~ I can even introduce you to the ones you want to talk to if you’d like.”

“That’s ok. I’d like to try on my own.”

He understood completely. How he wished he could have that little bit of freedom… To even think about leaving the company behind to work for someone else was blasphemous.

The shareholders meeting was a social event like no other - like, it might as well be a ball with all the people attending and all the press surrounding and being in the building. You pulled up to the normal valet guy who only chuckled at your shocked expression. Felix, on the other hand, wasn’t all that surprised and was rather annoyed at how something as simple as a meeting was getting this much attention.

After dodging all of the press and making it through several thresholds to reach the conference room, you helped Felix prepare for his opening speech.

“You seem more nervous than me,” Felix teased while you quickly smoothed out the wrinkles in his jacket.

“I'm nervous all the damn time.”

“Well, can you quit it before I start sweating? This outfit was expensive. Do you have my speech?”

Searching through your trusty bottomless bag that held everything from tips from your part-time at the cafe to snacks in case Felix got whiny, you pulled out a medium-sized notepad with his opening speech written on it.

“Really, _____? Hand written?”

“My sentences sound better when I write them down instead of typing it!”

“At least it’s legible.” Felix’s Dad announced over the microphone on stage that the meeting will begin shortly. He saw the both of you standing off to the side and waved happily, to which you both could only wave back. The boy in front of you sighed, and it’s the first time today he seemed only slightly nervous. He turned to you. “How do I look?”

How did the most handsome boy you’ve come to know look this morning? Dressed in navy with a white button-down, ears bejeweled and shining in the bright lights, his eyes and his smile sly and foxy, so of course to you he was the only one in the room who you had your eyes on because no one else could ever compare. That’s how it’s always been. 

Gentle fingers startled Felix, only for him to realize you were fixing his monogrammed silver tie clip. “You look just fine.”

“‘Just fine’? Not the sexiest man in the entire world?”

“I’d hardly call you a man…”

“Welcome to the YONGBOK Inc. Shareholders Meeting,” greeted your Father while on stage. Felix noticeably cringed at the sound of his birth name slash company name. “We will begin this meeting with an opening remark from Mr. Lee’s son, Felix.”

“Go get ‘em, Tiger,” you whispered with two thumbs up.

A loud round of applause erupted from the audience filled with press and shareholders. Lee Felix was named one of the most influential people under twenty-five this year and has consistently landed spots on Forbes’ 30 Under 30 list so yes, Felix was always highly anticipated as a guest to fashion shows and charity balls and even more so as a speaker for his future company. Though it was only less than a minute ago he was jittery with nerves, the second he stepped on stage in front of the podium, it was as if he was born to be a public speaker.

“Good morning, honored guests,” he began in his deep voice that startled unfamiliar guests..

His speech - your speech - wasn’t that long, since it was a simple welcome to all the rich people who gave the Lee’s their money. Regardless of its length, Felix somehow drifted his gaze towards the right where you stood. You, who always stood by him and was his friend through everything, stood at the sidelines giving him your unwavering support, even through this minor milestone. Despite this huge corporate building being the last place you want to be, still, you were here by his side.

In your eyes though, it looked like maybe his stage fright was worse than you expected, so you gave him two thumbs up again for reassurance. You couldn’t really tell what he was thinking because he seemed totally fine, in fact his execution was quite flawless, it was just… Why wouldn’t he look into the cameras? The stage lights that shined on him showcased the bright grin he gave when he saw how confused you looked.

“We will continue to work hard together so that YONGBOK will continue being the best restaurant franchise in the country,” was the motto of the company and how Felix ended the speech. With a deep bow and a wink for fan service, he exited the stage.

He fell into your arms clutching his heart. “Ugh, that was so scary!”

“You did fine,” you mumbled, quickly pushing him off before any cameras caught you. Still, he swung an arm around your shoulders unapologetically.

“All right, let’s ditch this popsicle stand.”

“You know we can’t do that or our Fathers will kill us.”

“You think I haven’t died and resurrected like a rising phoenix dozens of times?”

“Leave if you want, it’s your suicide.”

“You won’t come with me?” the handsome boy pouted.

“I’m not actually your secretary, you know.”

“I know, but I’ll be so lonely… Did you at least bring a snack?”

Felix decided to stay when he realized you weren’t kidding about wanting to sit through the entire meeting. Your right ear was focused on all the questions shareholders and the press had while your left ear focused on the child you were babysitting playing with the chocolate bar wrapper. Eventually the conflicting sounds merged into one when the lack of caffeine in your veins made it hard to concentrate for long hours.

“Bet you wished you left with me a couple hours ago, huh?” Felix teased once everything was over.

“Whatever. The important thing is that it’s over now.”

“Are you going to go talk with some of the shareholders?”

That was the original plan - to land an internship at a different company and slowly but surely escape the bubble that is the Lees’ world, but what was the use of making life harder on yourself if you’ll just be seen as a spy? What was the use in anything anymore when your life was determined the moment you came out of the womb?

You shook your head tiredly. “Nah, I think I’ll save that for another time.”

Felix linked his arm with yours like you were the gentleman and he was the lady. The warmth of another body so close to yours was only familiar when it was his, and you wished your body was unbiased and rejected anything within a five feet radius. “You wanna hang out with me that much?”

“Who said I’m hanging out with you? I’m driving you home.”

“No come on, let’s hang out today! Neither of us have class and when was the last time it was just the two of us?”

By ‘just the two of you’, he meant when was the last time you and him hung out without any business involved? When was the last time you and him had pizza together after a long week of midterms and studying, or the last time he picked you up from your part time at the cafe to have a cup of coffee, or the last time you talked about anything other than being ordered around by the Prince himself?

The answer to that question was last year on his birthday when he got too wasted and you didn’t have the strength to carry him up his multi-story mansion, so instead you carried him up to your humble apartment and let him crash on your bed the whole weekend (insisted upon staying the whole weekend because all the puking made him ‘weak’ and ‘dehydrated’).

Truth be told, you loved Felix’s company, whether it was business or personal. The hesitation was because you wondered if he truly felt the same way, especially since he never spoke about that night on his birthday. That night, a lot was said, but nothing was ever confirmed, so you were left in limbo while Felix managed to live in ignorant bliss.

It was better this way.

“I guess it’s been a while…” you trailed off.

“It’s been forever, love. Can we go to your cafe? I’m really craving the strawberry milk latte thing.”

“Anything for you, Felix ~”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

“Felix,” the haunting voice of his father echoed from behind. “Come here for a second -”

“That’s our cue!” The wild blond took you by the hand and sprinted out the conference room doors before his dad could catch him.

As if already predicting the time of events for the shareholders meeting, the valet already had the sports call pulled up and tossed you the keys for maximum efficiency.

“Hey, you’re hand-eye coordination is getting better!” Felix teased while hopping in the front seat.

“And your fear for your dad is not.”

“It’s not fear, it’s pure distaste. Completely different.”

The short ride to your cafe was anything but quiet as Felix filled you in on his most recent Tinder match. The story was something along the lines of ‘she was hot, but kind of stupid’, and you weren’t exactly sure what came after that because, well, you didn’t care. Hearing about the guy you were in love with slash your childhood friend slash the guy whose family bought out your family’s current dating app situation wasn’t exactly the most ideal setting, but hey, it beats sitting in that conference room for any longer.

The cafe was surprisingly not as busy around lunch time, even though it was Friday. Other than a few customers, the only other person in the cafe was your coworker Wooyoung who was busy dramatically singing to whatever drama OST was playing over the intercom.

“Are you making it?” Felix asked, referring to his strawberry latte.

“I wasn’t planning on it since I’m not working.”

“... Can you?”

“Are you serious!?”

“The last time someone other than you made my drinks, they tasted watery!”

He wasn’t wrong - a lot of the baristas here were a bit lazy with the job. You and Wooyoung were among the very few who genuinely cared for the cafe, the menu, and its customers. You supposed you could take a moment to step away from Felix - you sort of missed the barista behind the counter, anyways.

“Sit tight,” you told Felix, who obeyed happily at his favorite table.

Wooyoung with his cutesy cheeky grin chucked one of the ugly brown work aprons right at your face, to which you only whipped right back.

“I’m not working and you know that!”

“Can’t a guy dream to have the same shift with his favorite coworker? What are you doing here then?”

“Making a strawberry latte.”

“For yourself or for His Highness over there?”

“Do you even have to ask?”

Wooyoung knew all too well what your relationship was like with Felix and that was because he was also one of the elite, also known as a trust fund son. Wooyoung and Felix were from the same side of a coin, reigning from families whose net worth could buy out entire towns. The circle of the elite had a lot of members, but it was tight-knit, so everyone knew everything about everyone else. You were included in Felix’s dossier.

“You know, _____, you are your own person,” Wooyoung tisked as he hovered over you making the fruity drink. It was as simple as pouring milk over some strawberry compote (Felix liked it when there was extra compote) and shaking vigorously.

“You telling me that whenever I come in with him totally makes it more valid than the last time.”

“You know I’m just looking out for you.” His soft fingers gently pinched your cheeks. “You’re so sour today, I kind of like it.”

“Aren’t you known for liking people who have zero interest in you?”

“Exactly, so you better watch your attitude or I’ll steal you away from Mr. Lee Felix ~”

“You’re so weird!” Even so, Wooyoung stole a kiss on your bruised cheek before helping the customer at the counter. The aftermath left your face burning up, even though you were used to his flirtatiousness by now.

Of course Felix saw the entire interaction. Though he tried to hide behind his phone, he made sure to still have a view of whatever you and that spoiled ‘I-own-a-yacht’ Wooyoung were doing. You were much different around him than you were with that cheeky bastard behind the counter. With Felix, you were strict, quiet, and pouty, but with Wooyoung you were able to smile more and joke around and even laugh when you flicked whipped cream in his hair. In those short five minutes, that was a type of you he hasn’t been able to see since high school.

But now? You were so cold and distant. He could barely hang out with you without it seeming like it was some business meeting. What changed?

Felix watched you walk back to him holding his pink drink with your cheeks to match its color.

“I didn’t know you two were so close,” he said bitterly after you both exited the cafe.

“We work together, of course we’re close. You’re welcome, by the way.”

You’ll take his happy humming as he inhaled the latte as a thank you. “You talk about how much you hate some of your coworkers all the time!”

“I guess I do… but he’s different.”

“Of course he is…”

The handsome and pouty boy beside you did his best to ignore your accusing glare. “Do you have some beef with him, or something.”

“No,” he said simply in between gulps. “I just don’t like him.”

“You don’t like any boy I talk to.”

“Exactly.”

“So what happens when I really like someone? Do they need your ‘Lee Seal of Approval’?”

“Yup.”

You sighed heavily. “Why do you enjoy making my life so hard?”

“Because I love you, that’s why!”

You couldn’t count on all your fingers and toes how many times Felix has said ‘I love you’ since his birthday party. With his special day coming up again, the words hit harder than usual, even when you knew he was joking, but no ‘I love you’ hurt more than the first time he said it last year before he passed out on your bed.

Speaking of which, “Sooo ~ Guess what next week is ~?” Felix sang cheekily after hopping in the car.

“Uh, midterms week?”

“No ~”

“Buy one get one free soju at the karaoke place?”

“No…”

“Oh wait, isn’t it Han’s birthday next week?” He knew you were trying to push his buttons, but it clearly worked by the way he was glaring at you. “Yeah, that must be it.”

“So mean…”

“Are you two throwing a joint party again?”

“Yeah, but I think we’re skipping the club scene and throwing it at his house instead.”

“Wow, the Lee Felix is tired of the club scene?” you scoffed. “Never thought I would see the day.”

“Maybe it’s just my eyesight getting worse - I’d like to see who I’m hitting on for once.” One sharp stab in your heart. “Will you help me plan?”

Did you really have any other choice? “Of course.”

“Yes ~ This’ll totally top last year’s party!”

You sure hoped so, and you hoped you wouldn’t remember a single moment of it.

--

Planning for the party didn’t start until a couple days before the big date. Since Jisung was hosting, it was Felix’s responsibility to come up with all the decor and the theme and literally all the smaller bits and pieces of the party.

“Honey, I’m home ~” Felix sang as he walked into your apartment. An aroma of fresh spices and cooked meat and roasted vegetables hit his nose upon entering. “Whoa, are you cooking!?”

“We can’t plan on an empty stomach,” you stated the obvious. Immediately, a bowl of rice and the fixings was handed to the grinning boy.

“I love it when you cook. I haven’t eaten your cooking in a while.”

“I didn’t know you liked my cooking,” you blushed. “I haven’t cooked for you that often.”

“It’s because we’re both always so busy or we just eat the restaurant’s food when we’re lazy.” A happy hum came from his lips. “You have a mad talent for this, you know.”

“Do I?”

“Of course! The Boy with the God Tongue himself said so!” Being the future heir of the country’s largest restaurant franchise meant ridiculous chef-related nicknames, to which Felix enjoyed whole-heartedly. “You know this means I’m never going to let you leave YONGBOK.”

“Can you stop, you’re so embarrassing, it’s not that amazing!”

“You stop! Quit undermining your talents.”

“If it’s so good, what do you like about it?”

“For one, there’s tons of balance between the flavors. It’s also not as salty, which is what some of the chefs in some locations are having trouble with lately. But the best part is that it feels like home when I eat your cooking.”

“Like home? Like… as if your in-house chef was cooking it?”

Felix chuckled cutely. “No, I mean it feels like someone who loves me very much made this with lots of care.”

You’re too stunned to say anything right away. It felt as if Felix caught you in his trap and was forcing you to admit something that he knew from the very start. But now was not the time nor was it the place. As a response, you turned away and chugged the rest of your glass of water.

“Right,” you cleared your throat awkwardly. “G-Glad you liked it.”

Felix wondered why you wouldn’t look at him. “S-So, let’s get started?”

You took a bowl of food for yourself and refilled Felix’s before settling down at the table. “Do you have an idea for a theme?”

“Ok, hear me out - casino themed?”

“Isn't that underage gambling? Sounds super illegal to me.”

“Right, right… Ok, how about, uh, a masquerade?”

“Not bad, but a little cliche, no?”

“But it’s so sexy! Classy clothes, bejeweled masks -”

“Choreographed waltzing?”

“Yes! For the first half of course, then we’ll probably bump the real shit after a couple of drinks.”

“Hm, I actually like that.” You entered the theme into your notes. “Cool, we have a theme down. Now for all the decoration…”

That itself took about an hour. Imagine, talking about banners and balloon arches, and personalized masks for a whole hour with the most indecisive human being alive. How he’s expected to make major decisions for a multi-million dollar company one day, you’ll never know.

“Ugh,” you were over it, at least for another hour. You couldn’t take comparing different shades of gold and different grades of champagne anymore. Your couch was supposed to be your safe space away from Felix, but he followed you like a puppy and laid his head on your lap.

“This weekend is going to be so much fun! Did you get me a gift yet ~?”

“Uh, maybe…”

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise, silly.”

“Can I at least get a hint?”

“Probably the cheapest gift you’ll get.”

“Hey.” Felix silenced any doubt you had about your gift by taking one of your hands in his and holding it over his chest. He closed his eyes, tired from the day, tired by your constant doubts, tired of it all. “You know I don’t care about that kind of stuff when it comes to you.”

“I know, but I do.”

“Well, don’t. My favorite gifts have always been from you.”

“Even more than the diamond chain from Chan?”

“... Your gifts are my favorite after that one.” Your free hand poked his freckled cheek, causing him to laugh and smile brighter than the sun. Lying here with you made him happy. “I miss hanging out with you like this.”

“We hang out all the time!”

“Not like this. We never just chill out together and not worry about anything. We’re always worrying about something, especially since we started uni.”

“Uni sort of defines our future, so of course there’s tons to worry about.”

“Not for me. My life has been predetermined. If you think about it, uni doesn’t define your future, either.”

“I wish you didn’t tell me that,” you groaned. “You’re so right. What’s the point when the two of us are just going to take over our Father’s positions, anyways!?”

“Does our future together sound that miserable to you?” he teased. You wished he didn’t word it that way.

“Not miserable, but doesn’t it suck that we don’t have that sort of freedom? You and I have had our lives predetermined since birth!”

“Perhaps it was fate that you would be my Chancellor and I would be your King,” Felix snickered.

“Call it whatever you want, but where’s the joy we could get from spontaneity and disorder?”

“Good point. But I think you and I will find that joy just fine.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm. Life will always be a joy if I’m with you.” A tired smile spread across his lips. “You and I make a disorderly pair.”

You and him were definitely a disorderly pair. It was like you two were in a modern-day forbidden friendship that was only seen in royal fairy tales. Felix was the Prince, the apple of everyone’s eye, the boy with the highest ranking just below the King. You were the lowly common person who devoted their life to the castle and serving the royal family. Somehow, even with the drastic gap between your social classes, you both found each other and became inseparable. 

Through childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, the time spent together naturally formed your feelings for Felix to nothing less than love. You were the number one witness of seeing him laugh, smile, cry, and scream through all his happiness, sadness, and anger. You were the only one who knew the exact number of freckles that dusted his cheeks. You knew what specific snacks he wanted for certain craving occasions, his favorite orders at every restaurant, how he liked his instant ramen (with egg, American cheese, and green onions), and especially his cafe drink orders. When they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, you supposed that was especially true for Felix.

After over twenty whole years together, how the fuck were you supposed to avoid falling in love? How were you supposed to look at Felix and feel with your whole chest that you were not madly in love with his beautiful face and his kind heart? When Felix told you he loved you with slurred words on his birthday last year, how were you supposed to let that go and live on like you didn’t cry in the shower for a whole month afterwards?

You put the blame for the disorder in this messed-up friendship all on Felix, but you couldn’t help but clean it up and do your best to keep it together. So when he forgot he said those magic words, you did your best to forget them, too, but the best you could do was bury the memory away and cover it up with work and school. It wasn’t the most ideal way to deal with the issue, you knew that, but the important part was that it was working even if it was just a little bit.

Felix was the first to wake up the next morning. You didn’t move a single muscle and ended up sleeping upright since he used you as a pillow. Still, your hand was in his and the other tangled in his messy blond hair and truly, being here with you was the only place that felt like home.

--

The day of the party was filled with chaos on your end, as you had to wake up at 6:00 am just to make it to Jisung’s pool house in time to set up the decorations for the joint birthday party. You ended up directing all the crews to where the cocktail tables needed to be set up, where the instagram photobooth should go, and where the Michelin-star chefs were going to set up for dinner. The most important part was the dance floor, which would be clean with nothing but some shoe scuffs for the first couple of hours and probably stained with different colors of liquor by the end of the night.

By noon you were totally wiped out having a stomach full of only coffee and a granola bar. The worst part was that you didn’t get a chance to buy a mask yet and would probably have to settle for some cheap recycled paper with sequins and feathers glued on it from the birthday party store down the block.

But as if the Gods’ translated your feelings telepathically to Felix, your Prince in shining armor came to the rescue with a sandwich, more coffee, and something in a matte black gift bag. The gesture, though small, made your cheeks burn the brightest of pinks. It was your first time seeing and talking with Felix since he left the comfort of your lap a couple of nights ago. Although you were unsure of yourself (as with any situation, am I right?), the Prince didn’t seem so phased.

“I figured you could use a pick-me-up,” he grinned brightly, handing you all the goods.

“You are a blessing,” you sighed, chugging the iced coffee. “What’s in the black bag?”

“It’s a surprise. Open it.”

“I thought today was your birthday?”

“It’s nothing big, I promise!”

You shot him a skeptical look, but opened up the gift regardless. Inside was an intricately bejeweled mask for tonight, colored perfectly to match your outfit.

“I went to your apartment because I thought you’d be there,” Felix began shyly. “I went to your room and saw your entire outfit laid out, but no mask, so I figured you didn’t have one yet. I bought one to match your outfit and to match mine! Mine looks exactly like that, but black.”

“You really didn’t have to,” you pouted, though staring at the shiny jewels adoringly. It was gorgeous and you never thought in your lifetime you could own anything so glamorous. The gesture lifted an extremely loaded weight off your shoulders and you couldn’t help but hug the birthday boy as a thank you. “You’re the best, thank you.”

“Anything for you, love.”

“Also, please stop going into my bedroom.”

“What, afraid I’m going to raid your panties?”

“Yes.”

“That’s fair.”

Felix spent the rest of the day helping you make the pool house perfect since it was also technically his job as the co-host. Holding the ladder while you hung up crystal decor was reminiscent of past Christmas parties that his family hosted. Your two families would come together and prepare the cookies, the eggnog, and the presents for the whole morning before the big party that started around dinner time, and you and Felix were in charge of the Christmas tree. He’s not too big on heights, so he always made you hang the ornaments on the top layer. It was a very adult networking and old people gambling games type of party, so you and Felix would always sneak off into his basement and play video games or watch corny movies with a stolen tray of sugar cookies.

The Christmas before uni was probably the last one where you two felt like kids and didn’t have to worry about what kinds of feelings would get in the way of your beautiful friendship.

“Ugh, my calves are burning,” you whined on your way down from the ladder. Your legs gave out on the second step down and the weight of your tired body pulled you down, causing you to drop to your death from a mere five feet above.

Luckily, your Prince had quick reflexes and caught you bridal style. As kids, it was surprising when Felix could carry anything even half his weight with his twiggy arms, but the fact that he could hold you without struggling or even breaking a sweat was the closest you’ve ever experienced a miracle.

A gentle, handsome smile came from his lips. “You ok?” he asked in his deep voice.

No, you’re definitely not, but lying was ok in this situation. “F-F-Fine! I am fine!”

“Are you sure?”

“Y-Yes! Uh, you can put me down now…!”

“Hm, but I kind of like holding you like this.” You hit his rock-hard chest lightly, to which he recoiled dramatically before placing you down gently. “Is that how you thank your hero!?”

“Thank you, My Hero.”

“That’s more like it.”

It wasn’t until around dinner time when you left Felix alone to be in charge of guiding all the caterers to their cooking spots while you sped home to get ready as fast as you could. You didn’t want to leave Felix in charge for more than an hour, otherwise there would be more room for error.

You must have had such little faith in him because he did as was told without any issues and was done well before the party was going to start. He took the down time to put on his satin black suit and fix his blond hair before putting on the matching mask. While looking in the floor-to-ceiling mirror, of course he admitted to himself that he would be the sexiest one at the party, but something about the view didn’t seem right. He didn’t have you beside him hyping him up like always. The view in the mirror was lonely without you.

“Good job with the chefs!” you called into the dressing room unannounced.

Felix could see you jogging in wearing the full outfit he saw on your bed this morning, now complete with the mask he gifted you in the reflection of the mirror. The view of you was stunning, so much to the point that the Prince himself was too afraid to turn around and look at you with his own eyes. You reminded him of the story of Medusa, who would turn men into stone if they dared to look at you, and Felix thought that he was well past that point, already frozen in place with his jaw dropped and hands fixated on his crooked tie.

Luckily, you didn’t seem to notice as you stepped in between him and the mirror. The feel of your knuckles brushing up against his chest broke him free of his frozen state, causing him to hitch his breath in his throat. It was very un-Felix-like to be this nervous, especially before an event that circled around him, but perhaps it was his sobriety that made him jittery.

“You good?” you reciprocated after a long moment of silence.

Prince Felix cleared his throat before speaking. “Yeah.”

“Nervous?”

“I guess so.”

“What do you have to be nervous about other than being the center of attention in front of hundreds of people?” you teased lightly.

“It’s not like I know everyone, though.”

“What do you mean? You and Han invited all the people you normally party with.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like I’m friends with all of them. I don’t hang out with them before 10:00 pm.”

Even behind the mask, you could tell his nerves were sincere. “Are you having regrets about this party?”

“I wouldn’t say regrets… I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know you put a lot of work into this.”

“Do you not want to go -”

“No! No, I want to go.” To ditch a party you worked on for forty-eight hours would be like slapping you in the face and he knew that. But he also knew if he said yes, you would follow him wherever he’d go in a heartbeat because that’s how much you loved him. He cleared his throat once more. “Will you stay with me?”

You raised a brow, unsure if you heard correctly. “Stay with you?”

“As in, will you stay by my side tonight?”

“You want me by your side the whole night?” Oh, how the tables have turned, in which Felix with his blushing cheeks couldn’t look you in the eyes as he nodded shyly. It was hard to believe what you were seeing with your own eyes and you wondered if you were dreaming. “Ok.”

“Really?”

Softly, you straightened his mask. “Anything for you, birthday boy.”

The anxiety from the claustrophobia of the party was replaced with the thought of being with you the whole night, but this is how he’d rather be. No longer did he want to stay in this room he filled with bad energy, so he took you by the hand and led you back to the main room where guests quickly filled in. Anxiety filled his chest again and you felt it through his hand squeezing yours tightly, as if afraid you would let go and slip away into the crowd where he’d never see you for the rest of the night. You’re not sure what’s gotten into him and you didn’t want to make it worse, so you led him to the tables of food hoping he could fill the emptiness in hopes of loosening up a little.

Even while eating food, Felix refused to let go of your hand, so you had to act as his free hand and feed him gourmet finger foods.

“You’re even more of a baby on your birthday,” you scoffed.

“But you love babying me, right?” he teased.

“I don’t know if ‘love’ is the right answer…”

The beginning of the night was nothing short of energy-draining as every single guest came up to greet Felix on his birthday and greeted you second. It was crazy that even in a room full of hundreds of peers, the crowd was still able to distinguish the birthday boys from everyone else, but you supposed it was easy because who else was blond and this handsome? The same way you looked at Felix, everyone else also had their eyes on him because he was truly that stunning in a crowded room.

It was occasions like these when you felt most out of place. You only ‘belonged’ here because Felix was your ticket in, but you would never become one of the elite. You didn’t have all the luxury of buying a new outfit or new jewels for every occasion like everyone else here. You were a simple person in your humble apartment living your predetermined life and getting by without any conflict, all thanks to him. That was what made you believe for twenty years that you had no right to fall for Felix the way you did - you were nothing more than the King’s hired Chancellor.

Even so, when the whole room was looking at him, he only looked at you.

The next song was a common waltz song that was played at every masquerade party on the planet. With a hop in his step, you found the birthday boy in front of you bowing with his hand still in yours.

“Will you dance with me?” he asked dramatically like he was playing a character.

“Why, of course, Your Highness.”

Waltz dancing was definitely not the first talent you’d think of while wondering what Felix was good at, but to your surprise, it was like he’d been taking classes for years. You knew little-to-nothing about it yourself, but it was easier when your date took the lead and you didn’t have to think, just follow. It was a ride, honestly, and you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling, even when the dance finished with Felix dipping you, faces close and noses barely touching.

You hardly noticed his eyes shift to your lips in the midst of all the giggles. “When did you learn to do that!?”

“Last night,” he admitted sheepishly. “Are you impressed?”

“Very.”

“Then those three hours of Youtube tutorials were worth it.”

Your predicted cycle of food, dancing, alcohol, and back to food was correct. Several rounds lasted several hours to the point where you were at the perfect amount of tipsy, but still able to navigate, although if any more rounds of alcohol were going to happen, you might be in trouble. Keeping up with the birthday boy was so hard!

But you didn’t mind, because the poison made you forget about how much you didn’t belong there and swept any overreaction to Felix’s affection under the rug, though it was getting harder to do the latter, as each shot meant closing the distance between you and him. Somehow, you went from holding his hand to his hand never leaving your waste, with your bodies keeping close contact, a feeling you’ve always been familiar with even when sober, but this time was different.

“So,” he began in the middle of the dance floor. “When do I get my gift?”

“How about after your birthday cake?”

“Birthday cake?”

On cue, the lights dimmed and the music stopped. Jisung found his way next to Felix and all the chefs rolled out a giant tiered cake with candles on it, cueing all the guests to sing happy birthday. You made sure to keep the design simple, but the flavors immaculate and matching the boys’ palates because that was the most important part. Even from afar, you could smell the chocolate.

You tried to step away from him so that he and Jisung could have the spotlight together, but even then he didn’t want you to leave. He squeezed your side a little tighter, a silent gesture that said, ‘please don’t go.’

By now, you were starting to sober up a bit and that was a bad sign because now you were realizing that this whole night would be forgotten tomorrow, just like last year. Still, you stayed by his side because that’s what he wanted.

Why it had to be you, you’ll never know, but the feeling was too right to question it.

At the end of the song, the birthday boys blew out the candles and the cheers deafened your ear drums. What shocked you next was the feeling of soft lips on your cheek.

“Thank you,” Felix whispered with so much adoration. “For everything.”

You’ll never be able to recover from tonight. “Why are you like this all of a sudden? Have you had too much to drink?”

A cute giggle escaped his lips. “No, I’m fine. This day feels extra special, that’s all. You’re the reason.”

Felix was such a smooth honey talker when there was a little something swimming in his bloodstream. You should know better not to take these words to heart, but you can’t help it when they’ve all you’ve ever wanted to hear. A repeat of last year was bound to happen any second.

You did your best to avoid the compliment. “Do you want your gift now?”

“Ooh, yes!”

The gift was hidden in the room you find him in earlier today. You were too embarrassed to set it up next to the gift table that was dressed in bags with brands like Cartier and Gucci, so you stashed it away from the rest. The bouncy and excited boy had the widest grin on his face, impatiently waiting for you to present him with what you had.

“Close your eyes,” you demanded.

Felix held out his hands with his eyes closed and expected something small, like a watch or a cupcake or some plush toy that he could strap on his keychain, but instead nearly stumbled forward holding something as heavy as a textbook.

“Ok, open your eyes.”

He wasn’t too far off, actually. In his hands was a thick, heavy book titled “Felix & _____” that you printed out on an embossed label maker. Inside were infinite pages of pictures, stamps, receipts, travel brochures, foreign currency, movie tickets, anything and everything from most if not all the memories you spent together over the past twenty years. The first few pages were filled with old film pictures and polaroids you had to steal from your parents and the later pages progressively got more crowded with trinkets and things when you two were old enough to hang out on your own.

For a while, Felix was silent as he flipped through all the memories. There wasn’t a smile on his face, no tears streaming down his cheeks, in fact he was emotionless and now you were confused. He told you he didn’t care about money or the cost of gifts when it came to you, but…

“You hate it,” you stated rather than asking.

Felix looked up at you, completely sobered up, with the most incredulous expression. “Of course not,” he reassured softly. “I love it. So much. You saved all of this…?”

“I saved every receipt that wasn’t smudged with barbecue sauce or oil and every movie ticket since the start. I had boxes full of it and I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I didn’t have the heart to throw it away, so I made you a scrapbook. It took forever, but luckily your family’s historian captured a lot of the earlier stuff.” Felix was listening, but his eyes were fixated on the last page, where you pasted a single picture of a selfie you two took just a couple days ago. “Happy birthday, Felix.”

Flipping through the scrapbook made him realize that yes, so much has changed between the two of you. There’s so much growth and care and love in between the pages and the fine lines that isn’t seen unless you look for it. As he looked at you, with your cheeks dusted scarlet and wearing your heart on your sleeve, perhaps him pretending he didn’t tell you he loved you last year was what was slowly drifting you away from him, because how were you going to deny to his face that you didn’t love him, too?

Perhaps it was best you would admit it to him on your own time. For now, he hoped a gentle kiss on your forehead would push you a little bit.

His rose petal lips left your forehead tingling. “You’re the best. Thank you.”

When Felix tried to close the gap in between, you took a large step back. You couldn’t look him in his eyes and now he’s confused and his heart hurts.

“Why do you keep doing that?” you asked.

“Doing what?”

“Holding my hand, holding me, kissing me…”

“Oh, I thought you were ok with all of that.”

You take a deep breath. You can’t let last year repeat itself. “You’re wrong.”

“I’m wrong?”

“You can’t just do that whenever you feel like it.”

“Do what!?”

“Play with my feelings!” You took another breath to calm you down and prevent anymore tears that were about to pool. “I have feelings, Felix. You can’t just use me whenever you feel like it and take it all back like it never happened the next morning!”

“I have feelings, too. How the fuck else was I supposed to deal with the night I told you I love you and you didn’t say it back?”

You’re left stunned and speechless. Felix just admitted to you that he once told you he loved you. He didn’t have to say when for you to know that he was talking about the inebriated self on your bed mumbling those three words as you tucked him in on his birthday last year.

“You didn’t say it back and I thought you didn’t feel the same, so I pretended to forget all about it. But now I know you feel the same,” he begged desperately. “I just know. Tell me I’m wrong, _____. Tell me I’m wrong to think that after all these years together, I think you fell in love with me the same way I fell in love with you.”

You couldn’t say anything. You couldn’t admit that he was right because he was drunk then and he’s still a little intoxicated now. But even if he’s right, even though you both knew how much you loved every cell of Felix, what if all this sweet talk was brewed by the mix of drinks that settled in his core? What if he forgets again tomorrow and you’re left in a worse state than you were last year? What if the alcohol just jogged last year’s memory that was stored deep in his cortex that only tequila was able to unlock?

The more you tried to make an excuse for it, the more ridiculous it sounded...

When you didn’t say anything right away, Felix was sure if he had his ribs broken that it would hurt less than the pain he felt in his chest right now. But that wasn’t your fault - nothing was ever your fault. This was all his doing because that’s what Felix did best - screw everything up.

The blond’s once hurt expression turned to stone before he dropped the scrapbook onto the cushioned chair next to his belongings.

“My mistake then,” he muttered before leaving you alone in the room.

“Felix, wait -” but it was too late, he was already out of the room to do something stupid to forget what just happened.

You ran after him, but the party room was so loud and dark and filled to the brim with guests that you couldn’t find him. In a room full of people, you were always able to find Felix no matter what, but it’s like he changed the makeup of the atmosphere to make sure that wouldn’t happen again for the rest of the night. You tried looking for blond locks from high ground, you tried snaking your way on the dance floor, you even checked the private rooms and men’s bathrooms in the whole house and none of them worked. You were afraid that after all the heartbreak, you wouldn’t see him again for a long while.

You bumped into Jisung in an empty hallway, who seemed out of breath like he was running a marathon just now.

“You have to come with me,” he gasped in urgency.

“What happened?”

“It’s Felix. He’s about to race Wooyoung.”

Those five words sounded like a terrible ad-lib in the newspaper, but when you followed Jisung to the front of the pool house, lo and behold half of the guests were gathered around the two boys who looked like they were about to get into a fist fight. In Felix’s hand, you could see that he was holding the keys to his sports car that was already parked out front.

Wooyoung’s the first to see you run to them from the crowd, with Jisung following behind you. “Hey, _____. Can you tell Prince Charming here that I’m not about to race him and go to jail?”

“That’s because you’re a pus -”

Jisung held Wooyoung back before he could get a swing in and you stepped in between. This was the first time you got a good look at his face, which was tear-stained and flushed red, all because of you.

“What are you doing!?” you muttered harshly.

“Trying to understand what you see in this guy. It’s not his looks, or his brains. Can’t be his car either, but I just wanted to prove my prediction just in case.”

His breath smelled like freshly poured alcohol. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Am I ridiculous, though? I think I might be onto something when I said there’s something that you see in him.”

“There’s nothing, so can you please give me your keys so we can talk inside?”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

Ouch. “Ok, we won’t talk. Let’s do something else -”

“I don’t want to do something else with you. I want to race and kick his ass.”

“You want to crash and burn that badly?” Wooyoung screamed over Jisung’s shoulders. “Fine, let’s drive!”

The crowd cheering only boosted Felix’s ego more, so he broke free from your wall and walked towards his car.

“Felix, don’t do this!” you cried out desperately, and for a second you could see the hesitation, but it was easily overcome.

“If you don’t want to be here, then go home. I don’t need you.”

The crowd oohed in unison and your left in the middle of the circle humiliated, watching the boy you loved the most get into his car and prepare to race your coworker. There’s a myriad of scenarios that fly through your mind of what could go wrong and you’re not sure if you should stay for the mess of the aftermath. But Felix said it himself that he didn’t need you, so maybe you should follow his advice and go home.

If something were to happen to him and you weren’t there to pick up the pieces and mend them back together, you would never forgive yourself. Your life’s purpose had always been to help Felix mend his pieces together whenever he needed it. But maybe this was his way of telling you that you were no longer needed for that - that you were free of all your duties as his personal fake secretary and since he thought you didn’t love him back that you served no purpose to him anymore.

When Felix said he didn’t need you, he meant that he didn’t need you to be the person you always were. He didn’t need you to be his babysitter trying to stop him from doing something stupid, he needed you as someone who wanted to stop him because you loved him and was afraid that he’d get hurt. And perhaps it was his mistake for saying it so harshly because you didn’t bother to stop him after that. But it hurt him to his core that you believed him when he said he didn’t need you anymore, that after twenty years you so easily believed that he could cut you out of his life, just like that. How many stupid mistakes could Felix make tonight? He was too far into this that he couldn’t back out, so all he had to do was race and make it out alive to see you again.

From the rear view mirror, he saw your distant figure fade away with the night.

--

It has been a long sixty-eight hours and twenty-four minutes since you arrived home from the birthday party. Hermit crabbing for the first twelves hours was stressful - you couldn’t sleep until 6:00 am, you only slept for a couple hours, you sent mass text messages to multiple people, including Felix, curious about his whereabouts and no one got back to you until twelve hours after that.

han solo [8:43 pm]: sorry darling, i like just woke up. he’s fine i guess.

you [8:44 pm]: what do you mean you ‘guess’!?

han solo [8:44 pm]: i mean they both came out unscathed and his dumbass won so physically he’s fine! but he didn’t seem too happy that he won. i think he’s back home with his parents atm.

That settled your racing heart only a little, but at least you knew he was fine physically, at least. Still, your hundreds of texts sent to him were all left on read, meaning he saw all your desperation and worry and didn’t bother to ease any of it.

You couldn’t eat for those long hours, but now it was getting unbearable and you needed to eat something. You had all the ingredients for Felix’s favorite soup, and as much as you didn’t want to constantly remind yourself of him, you couldn’t help yourself. The process was nice and slow, where you took extra care into washing the vegetables and bringing the broth to a gentle boil before dropping everything in. You could imagine the look on his face if he smelled what you made with your own hands.

Cooking for Felix was a very rare occasion because you were still self conscious about your abilities, especially as someone who was going to work for the country’s largest restaurant franchise. But the times he’s tasted your creations, his reaction was nothing but sincere bliss, cleaning his plate or bowl or several every time. He was the only one who truly believed in your talents and far-off dream when your parents wanted you to follow your Dad’s footsteps. You always cared about what Felix thought about you and your actions and nearly everything, but what he thought about your cooking was one of the most important things and his constant support for your craft was what made you fall for him so much harder than you already did.

The aromas of the soup made you miss him even more. If you didn’t hear back from him today, you were going to take drastic measures and find him yourself.

A quiet, eerie knock came at your door. You hesitated, wondering if you should just pretend you weren’t home, but then a voice spoke up.

“I know you’re home,” Felix said. “I can smell you cooking my favorite soup.”

You dropped your wooden spoon and hurried to open the front door. Behind the door revealed a tired Felix with one bruised up eye and cut up lip. Though the tears quickly fell from your eyes and you covered your gaping mouth, he still gave you a weak smile in hopes of easing any worry you now had.

“I kind of need you,” he admitted softly. “I really need you.”

Speechless, you took Felix by the hand and sat him on your couch before grabbing your massive first aid kit. He’s not surprised that you took him in with open arms without any hesitation because that was the kind of person you were. He loved that about you, but there’s guilt in his heart because he’s the last person who deserves this treatment. He knew you didn’t exactly forgive him yet because you still haven’t said a word, even as you were wetting a cotton swab with isopropyl alcohol.

“Is it going to sting?” he asked. You didn’t bother answering and let him feel the pain for himself. “Motherfucker!”

Through all the cleaning and wincing, though your facial expression didn’t move much, a waterfall of tears fell from your eyes at a constant speed. Since you were kids, Felix’s Dad was big on spanking and physical discipline, but this was a whole different level than you’ve ever seen before - this wasn’t discipline, this was intentional. Even so, Felix still smiled, even through all the stinging.

“Stay still,” you whispered, voice shaking. Your free hand held his face in place by pressing your palm into his nonbruised cheek. The wound still stung, but the wincing at least lessened. When the cotton swab dried up and you weren’t sure what to do, Felix calmed your racing thoughts by placing a hand on top of the one you had on your cheek.

He liked the way your thumb gently brushed across his cheek. Your touch always left tingles in its absence.

“What happened?” you finally asked.

“Dad found out about the racing because it was in the tabloids as ‘Future YONBOK CEO Caught Racing Under the Influence. Is the Future of YONGBOK in Good Hands?’ and, well, you know how that turned out.”

You said nothing while shaking your head. You took your hand back and stood up to get something and the fear of you leaving him again left Felix sweating and tears of his own pooling in his eyes. But you came back with a bag of frozen peas to press against his bruises and swollen lip.

“Are you hungry?” Felix nodded silently. “I made your favorite soup.”

“I know. Did you know that I was coming?”

“No. I guess I’m lucky.”

One of his hands is on top of yours holding the frozen peas and the other grabs hold of your other free hand. Felix wanted to hold you in every way possible, but for now this would have to do until you accepted him.

“You know I love you,” he told you. “And you know I will always need you. I’m sorry I pretended to forget about telling you last year and I’m sorry if that made you think I was insincere the second time. But now you know for sure that I love you. Was I really that wrong to think you felt the same?”

“It seems like you already know my answer.”

“I need to hear you say it.”

You sighed heavily. By now the tears had stopped, but you wouldn’t be surprised if they started up again. This was the first time you would admit aloud that you loved the stupid boy who tried to hide his smile sitting in front of you.

“I love you, Lee Felix. I always have.”

“Knew it ~” he sang. “Tell me when you fell for my handsome looks.”

“Remember Prom night?”

“Prom night!? Seriously?”

“My date standing me up and you offering to dance with me the whole night sounds like the perfect formula to fall in love with you, does it not?”

“I guess! I just thought it’d be longer than that!”

“I’m sure it has been longer than that.”

“Really?”

“Prom night was just the point of no return - that no matter what I did, my feelings were absolute and I couldn’t be in denial anymore. But I didn’t feel any different… And that’s when I assumed I just always loved you.”

“Even when I do stupid shit like this, you still loved me that much, huh?”

“Even with a busted lip, I still think you’re the most handsome.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” he chuckled. “Do you know when I knew?”

“Uh, last year?”

“Nope. On your tenth birthday.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I’m not. When you shared your birthday cake and gave me the corner slice with the most icing flowers on it, I knew you were the one for me.”

“Can you be serious for once!?”

“Baby, I am dead serious! Look me in the eyes - well, my good eye.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.” Felix pressed a long kiss to your forehead and then rested his own up against it. “I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“And being an ass.”

“Yes, and being the biggest ass.”

You dared to kiss his lips, but just enough for them to touch, too worried about hurting his bruise. Felix didn’t care - this was the only time you’d have your first kiss and he wanted it to be long and slow, putting his all into your very first kiss even if it hurt a little. His lips were hungry for yours and so were his hands, making you drop the frozen peas on the floor so he could pull you into his lap to deepen the kiss. Wandering hands traveled your waist and your own in his hair and all your worries about wondering if love was truly real melted away with every second. Even when you broke free to come up for air, Felix refused to loosen his grip on your waist, holding you so close that he buried his face in the nape of your neck. He short breaths tickled your skin and when you giggled, he peppered kisses all over. Your laugh was music to his ears.

“Do you forgive me?” he said in between kisses.

“Mm,” you hummed. “Just don’t leave my side again.”

“Never again. I promise you.”

“Well… Where do we go from here?”

“Hm… I get to eat my favorite soup with the love of my life?”

“I like the sound of that.”

“And then straight to bed.”

“But it’s only 9:00 pm?” A playful, naughty smirk spread across Felix’s lips. “Lee Felix!”

“What!? I won the race, can’t I get a prize!?”

“Stop.”

Soup was always better with your love and a cup of frozen peas.

[winryofresembool]

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 27

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: The exam season is underway (yet somehow I don’t mention the exams all too many times...)

A/N: Yay, I'm back with this fic!! I think I can promise a bit more regular updates at least in the near future, but I will be starting to work longer hours possibly starting from next week so I will have a bit less free time then. I am still determined to keep up with my 500ish words per day goal so it should cause too much delay!

That's that, I hope you guys are as happy to return to this universe as I am! As usual, please let me know what you think :) This fic is about to take my longest fic position from Love Can Melt the Ice, so knowing that there are people who care about it really means a lot to me!

Words: 2393

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

Leo would have been lying if he had claimed that everything went back to completely normal after the talk with Calypso. Sure, they both really tried harder to act as neutral and friendly as possible around each other; whenever they were at home at the same time, they chatted casually about how things were going at work and at the university, their latest TV show or music discoveries, or some silly thing one of their friends had said or done recently. Sometimes they even watched something together or cleaned the common area together. However, the earlier confessions were never mentioned. On the surface things were ‘just fine’, but the unspoken words and lingering looks spoke for itself. Leo knew things were still heating up under the surface and sooner or later they would have to make some difficult decisions. But until then, he wasn’t going to risk anything by disrespecting the guidelines that they had set during their ‘big talk’, even if it was hard to resist sometimes.

One evening Leo found Calypso studying for her upcoming exams on the common area couch. She was wearing a pink, tunic length sweater that matched her lip color, and black leggings that hugged her legs tightly (not that he’d ever tell her that he had noticed such things). She had also pulled her now medium length hair into a messy ponytail so it wouldn’t bother her while she was reading, showing her nicely shaped facial features better. Despite noticing all that, Leo’s thoughts soon went to the facts that he had recently learned about his flatmate. Now he knew more about the hardships she had gone through; a dead sister, an abusive, controlling father, being alone all those years and the nightmares she had mentioned while drunk. Yet, somehow there she was, having escaped her father’s grip and looking perfectly content doing something as boring and normal as studying for exams. The girl was way stronger than he had earlier given her credit for, and Leo admired her capability to stay so calm; he wasn’t so sure the ghosts of his own past would leave him alone that easily.

“Hi,” he finally said before Calypso noticed that he’d been standing there just watching her far too long despite the rules they had set. “What are you reading?”

Calypso showed him the book. If she was surprised to see him, she hid it well. “A collage of Frenchmen’s experiences at the front lines during World War II. I know. A very cheerful way to finish the day.” She grimaced.

“Huh? I thought you were mostly focusing on older history? I didn’t know you study that stuff too,” Leo noted, shifting from one foot to another.

“Well, they do require us to have a good enough understanding of the newer events as well,” Calypso replied, now looking at him directly. For some reason that one look managed to make chills go down Leo’s spine. “It is true, though, that I am more interested in ancient history. There’s so much we still don’t know about those times and I want to be able to discover more.”

“I see,” Leo said. “I think I understand what you mean. I am constantly hoping to discover new ways to create things that will be useful for all of us. Flying dragons that use energy drinks as their energy source? How epic would that be?” Excitement surged through him when he simply thought about it.

“Isn’t that a bit out there?” Calypso asked, but Leo didn’t miss the amused glint in her eyes. “And what if everyone had flying dragons and that would cause horrible air accidents? I don’t know about you but to me they don’t sound very safe.”

“Sunshine, what’s life without some danger?” Leo questioned.

“Hmm, let me think: safe?” Calypso retorted.

“Ouch. Well, I don’t think I have time to invent flying dragons any time soon, so you don’t have to worry about that,” Leo reassured her, but now that the idea had been planted into his head, he decided to return to it some day in the future. Hopefully when he would be able to handle fire.

“That’s a relief,” Calypso replied. “Speaking of your inventions… have you decided what you’re going to do about your studies? The last time I asked you said you haven’t been in contact with your professor yet.”

That was a question Leo had been dreading for. He preferred to not talk about that topic unless he had to, but the truth was that he was still quite unsure about being able to continue. However, he hadn’t made any final decisions yet.

“I’ll… I’ll keep working to overcome my fear,” he responded vaguely. “I think I’ve made some small progress during our sessions. If I can keep that going, I may be able to retake the test next year. Small steps, you know.” In reality, so far he had managed to stay close to a small, burning candle for a short period of time without freaking out, but he still didn’t want to try the matches whenever Calypso suggested it. There was still a long way to go before he’d be able to use all the machines he needed during lab classes and at work.

“Okay,” Calypso said, but to Leo she sounded a bit unconvinced. Her voice got more reassuring, though, when she added: “You know that you can ask for my help any time you need it.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Leo nodded. “And same right back at you. I mean, you can ask me. If you need anything.” For some annoying reason he managed to only get stuttering out of his mouth at that moment. “Even if you simply want me to make you a miniature dragon in the middle of the night. It’s fine. I’d totally make it.”

“And why would I want you to make me a miniature dragon in the middle of the night?” Calypso looked at him questioningly. Before Leo managed to answer, her face softened into a smile and she added: “I really appreciate the thought, though. It feels so different… in a good way… to have people in my life who genuinely support me. I haven’t had that, well, since I got separated from my mom.”

She sat a bit straighter on the couch, her gaze going back and front between Leo and her book, and Leo wondered if she was debating if she should reach for him and touch his shoulder or something. Maybe even hug. One side of him wished she would just go for it. But that would have violated their newly made rules and neither wanted to make things even more complicated than they already were. They simply kept staring at each other for a while, as if trying to read each other’s thoughts, but finally Calypso sighed and turned her focus back on her book, closing it.

“I didn’t realize it’s already this late…” She said, adjusting her hair a bit with the hand that wasn’t holding the book. “I still need to finish an assignment for tomorrow.”

She stood up and started walking towards her room, but when she got past Leo, her arm briefly touched his. Leo’s arm was still tingling after Calypso closed the door behind her.

…

A few days later, Leo was still thinking of that incident when he almost fell over a big rock that was standing on his road. He and Jason were currently having a well deserved evening off after finishing their last exams of the semester earlier that day (Leo felt like he had at least succeeded with the calculations but his essay writing was a bit sloppy) and in honor of that they had decided to go for a long jog and after that have a big, unhealthy meal in one of their favorite pizza places. While they were on their way there, Jason had been explaining something about his holiday plans when Leo had zoned out, and Jason had to grab his arm so he didn’t fall.

“Hey, man, you OK?” Jason asked, frowning. “What just happened there?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m OK.” Leo brushed some dust off the sleeves of his coat. “I was just… thinking. And didn’t notice the rock on the road.”

“Hmmm, what got you that thoughtful?” Jason inquired. “I bet you didn’t even hear what I just said.”

“You know I have a pretty nasty case of ADHD, sometimes I just zone out randomly,” Leo said defensively, not wanting to admit aloud that recently he had been even more distracted than usual because of a certain flatmate of his. “And no, I didn’t hear you.”

“Alright,” Jason shrugged. “I was telling you that Piper’s dad has invited us to visit him over the break. I’m not sure yet if we are going, though. Piper didn’t seem very enthusiastic about it. Sure, she wants to see him, but she suspects he’s still working most of the time so it would be the same to just call instead of traveling all the way to LA.”

“Mmmh,” Leo mumbled, trying hard to stay in the present moment. “I’m going to be at Waystation during the break so if you guys decide to stay, we can still hang out.”

“Okay, I’ll let you know what we decide to do. That wasn’t all, though…” Jason continued, his face becoming concerned. “I think Piper has seemed quite distant lately, and not just when we’ve been talking about that trip. Sometimes I worry that she’s gotten bored of me, or something.”

“No way, man!” Leo exclaimed. “I’ve seen you guys together often enough to know that she loves you. Maybe she’s just going through a rough phase or something.”

Jason didn’t seem quite convinced. “I guess so. It’s just that usually she tells me directly what’s bothering her. This… keeping things inside her isn’t like her.”

“Maybe you just need to give her some time,” Leo suggested. “It’s like me with Cal; I’ve learned to keep my mouth shut more often and in exchange she has slowly started opening up to me more recently.”

“She has? That’s great!” Jason cheered up. “How is it going with you two anyway? I heard some things about the Halloween party aftermath…”

“Nothing happened after the party!” Leo yelped, raising his hands. “Whatever Piper has told you, all lies.”

“Really? So you two wouldn’t have kissed if Piper hadn’t interrupted you guys?” Jason raised his eyebrow.

If Leo’s cheeks hadn’t already been red from the jogging, he certainly would have blushed. “Um… well… the point is that we didn’t. Besides, we’ve set some rules that we’re supposed to follow because we don’t wanna make our co living too complicated.”

“So there is something going on between you two and you are acknowledging it,” Jason teased. “You wouldn’t need to set any rules otherwise.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Leo muttered. “If you must know, we did admit that we like each other after the party.”

“But that’s great!” Jason exclaimed.

“It feels pretty crazy,” Leo replied. “Sometimes I wonder why she likes me, but maybe the Bad Boy Supreme’s magic is stronger than I thought.”

Jason snorted at his comment. “I don’t know Calypso as well as you do but I doubt it’s the so-called Bad Boy Supreme side that she cares about. You pretend to be all cool and try to seem like you don’t care about what’s happening around you but I think you do that only because you care too much. Maybe Calypso has noticed that as well.”

“Dude, you’ve been hanging out with Piper too much.” Leo shook his head. “That’s something she would say. ” “Well, she’s not wrong. Anyway, what happened after the big confession?”Jason asked curiously.

“We’re not together if that’s what you’re asking, ” Leo denied immediately. “I just mentioned the rules, remember? We wouldn’t need them if we had decided to go down that road.” “Ouch… but why? Why didn’t you just decide to do it?” Jason wanted to know.

“For some stupid, noble reasons,” Leo grunted. “I’m not gonna go into the details because it’s up to her to talk about it, but long story short, she thinks it’s safer that way. I think she’s afraid of hurting one of us.”

“And do you think she’s right?” Jason inquired.

“I… No! I’ve told her I can handle it. But I’m not gonna push it - believe me, Jo and Emmie have given me long lectures about respecting women’s boundaries. If Cal and I wanna keep living together, I have to let it be.”

“Yeah, I can see your point.” Jason nodded.

“Besides…” Leo added after a moment, his face falling as he thought about his past. “Bad things tend to follow me. Who is to say that I wouldn’t be the one getting her into trouble?”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because when have I ever been successful with anything I’ve done?” Leo asked in return.

Jason seemed to finally understand what event Leo was really referring to. “You’re still beating yourself for things that happened years ago?”

“Why do you think I’m not capable of going to some of the lab classes? Because I simply think that skipping is fun and I don’t care whether I pass it or not?” There had been a time when Leo hadn’t cared about his school success, but back in those days he hadn’t cared about much else either. Now that he had dreams and things to live for, he hated the idea that anyone would think he’d throw it all away just because he could. His new family deserved better than that for what they had done for him.

“No, no, I was not thinking that! You just never talk about it so I assumed… whatever.” Jason didn’t want to make Leo even angrier so he decided it was better to change the topic. “Maybe we should talk about something else. I still hope that you and Cal will work it out eventually.”

“Yeah. I hope so too. Same for you and Piper.” The friends had gotten close to their destination, so Leo exclaimed quickly: “Hey, I’m smelling the pizza now! Whoever is last at the door pays!”

“That’s a bad deal because you know I’m faster than you. I train every day!” Jason pointed out but soon sprinted after him.

[nymp21]

Secret Crush

You’re the youngest Danvers (Alex biological’s sister) and you move to National City to study. What will happen, when you’ll find out you have a crush on one of your teacher. And that teacher is Lena Luthor herself. Your sister besfriend.

Gifs are not mine

Pairing : littledanvers reader x Lena Luthor

Warnings : English is not my langage and eventual smut later in chapters

Part 1

  You were currently eating your breakfast with energy when Kara came of the bathroom. She was making up her hair. « Are you sure you don’t want me to drop you at Uni (Y/N) » « No thanks Kar’! I will go there by bus. It will be more normal than being drop by Supergirl flying » you laughed. « I meant by car » she responded, rolling her eyes. You were leaving with your sister for one week now and you could say Kara was very cool !That’s why you pick your super sister when you had to choose where to live during the semesters of your degree. And because Alex was living with Maggie so…technically you didn’t have much choice. You were preparing a master degree both in litterature and business (you wanted to be an editor.) and National City had got the best college to finish your studies. Today was the first day of the semester, and you knew you would have so much works to do to succeed and pass. « Anyway, do you need something for lunch ? O can make you a sandwich » « With butternutt ? » « Of course ! Who do you think I am ? » she said with an amused smirk. You smiled at her response : « you’re the best sister but don’t say that to Alex, she will be mad at me. » She chuckled and started making your food for lunch then she gave it to you. You took it, thanked her and grabbed your bag. « See you later Kara » you said. « By sweetheart… call me if you feel nervous or anything » « Kara i’m not a kid who is afraid of the first day at school anymore. » « Maybe, but you’ll always be our little baby danvers » she said with a smirk. You groaned and closed the door behind you when you heard her laugh. She is such a dork. _________________________________________ It was the last course of the day. Your firsts were very interesting and you find yourself doing some research at the Library between two of them. You were so concentrated, you didn’t see the time fly and you were late. So you ran in the corridors of the college, cursing between your teeth for being such an idiot ! You opened the door of the room, where were sitting the others students who stared at you instantly. You were quite shy in public so you felt embarrassment rushing through you. « Well ! Welcome to business course. Glad to see you know punctuality. » You turn you head to your right, to see the most beautiful woman you ever met. Her eyes piercing as hell were as blue as the see that you could drown in them. Her hair was perfectly made, and her lips were as red as a rose. She was breathtaking, and you didn’t know how to make words. And you were blushing with shame as you heard some of the other students chuckle at her ironical comment. « The cat got your tongue ? When we are late, we apologise. »she said. And you seemed to come back from your starring « I’m sorry I was in the library, I didn’t see the time. » She starred at you with a strange smile on her lips and you felt more uncomfortable. « Well, Miss I’m happy to know that you seem to be a good student by already making research at the libraby. » You heart skipped a beat. Her smile were so intimidating and… sexy. What!? Stop thinking with your hormone (Y/N) ! She is your professor for godsakes! « You can sit. As I was saying to your classmates,I’m Lena Luthor. I will teach you business course this semester. » Holy shit ! Your professor was Lena Fucking Luthor ! Not only one of the most intelligent woman of the city… even the world -You have read all her articles and you admired her - but also Kara’s best friend ! She was supposed to present her to you tonight at game night. She had said : « I’m sure you will like each others. You have so much in common . Yeah… the college for example. Man this will be so awkard ! Plus, you didn’t imagine that your sister’s best friend would make you blush so hard. She was very intimidating in her black dress and high heels. Your shyness was showing as you set at a free chair trying to be discrete. « As you may know, I’m the CEO of L-Corp which means I can handle a society. » she continues as if nothing as interrupted her. « So I expect you to be as serious as possible this semester. I will show you any mercy. » If her smile could make you think she was kidding, her eyes were dead serious. Then she began her lesson, with some definitions. You were happy no one were paying attention to you and, you show yourself very attentive, because you didn’t want to make her say any other comment about you. She was very passionate and interesting as you could imagine. Kara was right when she said she may seem cold at first. She seems so indeed. But when she talked about her job, she has a bright smile. The two hours spent like it was ten minutes and then you were getting out the room, deep in your thoughts. How would you do to avoid game night ? Because you couldn’t do game night with your professor right ? This situation was making you uncomfortable and stressed for an unknown reason. Well, you were not a relaxed person and this would be awkward. Plus she made you blushing and you hoped she didn’t notice it ! Yes she was very intimidating and you were very very embarrassed in front of her. —————————— The doorbell rings and Kara opened the door as you put the chips in a bowl. You didn’t succeed to avoid game night. Kara was good at convincing you with her puppy eyes and her « please, please, please,please,please,please » so annoying you were obliged. You sighed as you put the plate of pizza on the table, with the chips. Luckily for you Lena Luthor hasn’t confirmed her presence tonight. Apparently she wasn’t sure she could come. Kara was upset bit you were relieved and hoping she wouldn’t make it to game night. But you were stressed anytime the doorbell rings. Winn was already there. You liked him. He was your favorite nerd. You had many things in common and he was like a brother to you. « Hi Winn ! » you heard « Hi baby danvers ». And you feel Maggie kiss your cheek. « How was this first day in College. » « Great » you responded. « Just great ? » she frowned. « She didn’t say much to me earlier. Maybe she found a boyfriend or a girlfriend and it was love at first sight» said Kara ,bringing the wine Alex had give her on the table and smiling at you. You rolled your eyes. Kara and Maggie were constantly teasing you about a potential boyfriend/girlfriend. The Did want to see you with someone. This was quite annoying, and they knew that. « Maybe some wine will make you talk » Maggie said with a smirk. « Oh no Sawyers I forbid you to get my sister drunk tonight !» told Alex as she embrassed you in her arms. « Hi sweetie. Don’t let them tease you. » « I don’t. I just plan to bit them at the game tonight. » « You wish baby Danvers. I improved myself since last time and you’re not ready for my skilled in monopoly. » You laughed. Maggie was a total looser in monopoly because she didn’t like the game. But you appreciated the effort she maid to try to win. You knew she wouldn’t make it. You were unbitten at this game. But in opposite she was an absolute killer at Jungle Speed and Kara was the queen of the time’s up. « How can you improve skills at monopoly… it’s nonsense » comment Winn. « (Y/N) is just better than you. Accept it. » You smiled wild at the comment and out your tongue at your sister’s girlfriend. 

“So childish” She replied. 

Then you heard Lena came in the apartment. Honestly, you didn’t know why you were so embarrassed. You didn’t know if it was because of her humiliated yourself in the morning, because of her finding out that you were her best friend’s little sister or because of the strange feelings you had around her. “Hi Kar’. Sorry I’m a bit late.” “Not at all !” your sister replied. “Plus we were teasing (Y/N) about her first day at National City College today. She didn’t tell that much” GREAAAT ! Thanks Kara. You felt Lena’s gaze fell on you and you refused to look at her. But you clearly heard her smile in her comment : “Is that so ? Well I can tell you that she was late at business course today.” Ok now you were blushing hard. And you saw confusion in your sisters eyes. Confusion that vanished as Lena added : “I Know it, because i’m her professor. We met today, although she didn’t tell me she was a Danvers.” This time you looked at Lena, and to your surprise she was smiling warmly at you. “So nice to meet you (Y/N) Danvers !” “Oh hum nice to meet you Miss Luthor.” “Please call me Lena.” “All right... hi Lena.” And then, Game Night began. You first played at Uno, Maggie won with a big satisfied smile. Then you started the serious game : The monopoly. The game lasted one hour and half and at the end, there were just you and Lena. You were surprised that you didn’t feel awkward anymore. On the contrary you were concentrated on the game and motivated to beat your sister’s best friend. But she had the same motive. This was tense until Lena took your last streets and you didn’t have any more money. “I... lost ?!” you said at disbelief. “I knew you couldn’t win tonight Baby Danvers !” told Maggie. “Oh shut up !” “ To your defense (Y/N) you played well and wisely. And as your teacher I couldn’t lose could I ?” You looked at Lena which blinked at you with a smile. You blushed at the compliment and you didn’t see that Alex noticed this but she didn’t tell anything. Then you helped Kara store the room. You decided to do the dishes. You were washing the same bowl for like 2 minutes, lost in thoughts. The evening went better than you’re expected. Lena was very nice and you enjoyed played with her. You almost forgot that she was also your professor because she didn’t act like she was. You admired her more than before. She was very smart, her warming smile was so beautiful. You became to realize that you were crushing hard on her... Oh God, why ! Later everyone was leaving. You waved at Winn, took Maggie and Alex in your arms as they left the room. Lena was the last to stay. “Well, it was very amusing Kara, as always.” “Thank you for coming. I’m glad you could meet (Y/N). It’s crazy that you’re also teaching her business. I hope you’ll tell me if she causes you some trouble.” She was kidding of course. You were quite serious at school and she knew that. Lena smirk at you. “Oh she’ll behave I swear. But I’m glad she is my student. She is smart.” You blushed hard at her comment et they smiled at you. “Yeah, She is.” Kara responded. “Well I gotta go. See you later Kar’” She enlaced your sister et then came to you. “See you at college (Y/N) hope you won’t be late this time, or I’ll have to punish you.” She said with a smirk and then kissed you on the cheek. The teasing and the kiss made you so dizzy as she left. Yep you were crushing hard. God you were in trouble.  

[coindraws]

bruh

Sorry for being so negative these last few weeks (if anyone reads my tags it shows…) but idk, this is my blog, so I do what I want. Anyway, this is just a very long vent post and I’ll put it under a cut anyway if anybody wants to read it.

Okay, so I moved to France almost exactly four weeks ago and ever since then it’s been nothing but problems. I chose this bachelor degree very well knowing that I’d move to another country and that’s also what I wanted! Which is great, I always wanted to spend some time of my university experience in a foreign country and especially in France if there was a possibility to do so.

Since I’m the very first German to join this programme, I’m kind of the guinea pig for everything but I knew that beforehand as well. I think I’m more of a guinea pig for the German side, though since for my university in Germany it’s their first time offering a programme like this. To quickly explain, you start in your home country and then move to the foreign country for a while until you return and then receive your diploma of two universities. Sounds neat and all if things actually worked but they don’t really as it turns out…

Anyway, I thought everything would’ve been cleared up - or at least most of the things - before my arrival but that wasn’t the case. I got zero information on how this whole system works here and it’s very different than in Germany + there’s the obvious language barrier that I have. That’s not surprising, most things get solved within the first two weeks or so but the person who’s supposed to be my contact person is known for not answering very fast and sorting things out and that’s basically what my first four weeks have been so far; trying to navigate everything in a foreign country, a foreign language and solving organizational things which for some reason are left to myself.

Basically, I get told that people are going to do it for me and talk to others to get things going but then they just don’t and I’m faced with not knowing what to do since I won’t receive any answers to my mails. (Also when somebody tells you that you’re able to visit them on a certain day of the week for 15 minutes it’s kind of saying a lot on how much time they have for you… Nevermind that I don’t even have time on that day but in their defense I forgot to mention that, since that conversation only lasted 5 minutes)

Getting registered at the uni here was enough of a hassle but it finally worked. Then when I thought I had my courses there’s still another problem left and since the system in France isn’t as flexible as in Germany that just creates more problems the more time goes on. So in summary, week one to three of September were spent trying to figure out my schedule + my registration and while I thought I’d finally be done with that, there’s still one thing missing and it’s currently my fourth week here.

I was prepared to face problems like the language barrier, a different university system, being on my own because I’m the only German here but I wasn’t prepared to deal with organizational stuff on my own because nobody’s really helping me. My biggest help so far have been my fellow students and my tutor but even those don’t really know how to properly help me most of the time and I’ve never heard back from my contact person about my schedule here. I understand that professors are busy and all but lending a helping hand when a new student arrives would be nice. Again, they mentioned that if I don’t hear back from them it’s usually a good sign and if I didn’t hear back until a certain day, it’d be fine but it was hard telling that to the people who handled my registration.

The problem that's left now is about an essay I have to write and I was told I should do it in the course from year three which isn’t possible anymore as I found out today. The prof can’t let me do this in his course because I’d be too much, which is understandable since he already had to reject others weeks ago and it’d be really rude to the other students if he accepted an essay from somebody who’s three weeks late. The prof who’s my contact person here told me two weeks ago that I should send him my schedule and he’d talk to his colleagues and sort things out because I couldn’t register in the first week of September before courses started since there were problems with my registration.

If I had had the information beforehand on how to do my schedule and had received my password earlier, this problem wouldn’t exist. But since nobody prepared me for that and told me, I’m now sitting here still trying to somehow solve this weeks after the semester here started and it sucks to be the one trying to do that when it isn’t really my task. Right when I thought that everything was solved, I’m faced with yet another problem and the stress just keeps going and hasn’t stopped ever since I moved here. And while I’d understand that there were so many problems with a new programme, I’m less understanding if there was a previous programme just like this one but with another different city in Germany. Same contact person here but it seems like they’re doing it for the very first time and that shouldn’t be the case at all. I’ve also learnt (and experienced for that matter) that other profs aren’t very fond of him and know what it’s like to try and sort things out but I’m not involved in that beef and yet I still kind of am without wanting to.

As I mentioned before, it only gets harder as time goes on and to be frank, I’m sick of it. I don’t know when I’ll reach the end of rope but I’m always telling myself if I absolutely can’t take it anymore I’ll return to Germany or just take a break for a year before I try again. I’m not sure if this is even a possibility but it’s driving me nuts and I don’t even think about enjoying my time here. It’s been nothing but a struggle and if I had to summarize September so far, it’s basically been a hardcore “try not to cry once a week challenge” which I’m failing miserably at this point. It’s so frustrating for me to sort all of this out while I can’t even use my native language and I’m not that familiar with the system here to begin with.

It got to the point that I can’t even have a normal conversation with a prof about organizational stuff without my voice cracking and me just wanting to start crying on the spot because I’m so frustrated and stressed. If anybody asks me on how things are, I really have to hold back as well. Sometimes I sit in the lectures and my thoughts drift off to all these unsolved problems and I have a hard time keeping my composure. Thankfully everybody here has to wear a mask at all times, so that at least can hide it somewhere but I wouldn’t be surprised if I just left a lecture because I was feeling like shit.

I’ve told my parents about my problems and today my Dad asked me if he should still order the book that I asked him to because even he was unsure if I’d continue this or not. And while I told him yes, that’s also just a testimony on how bad things are right now. It’s also cool that my contact person told me that everybody who organizes this programme is concerned about a person’s well-being and their mental health but I’m far from feeling well. I was prepared for a lot of things, as well as feeling somewhat lonely which I surprisingly don’t but I wasn’t prepared for all this organizational bullshit and not really having anybody here that can help me with it.

tl;dr I’m so tired and exhausted of everything and even if I still want to at least try and get this bachelor degree, I don’t know for how long I’ll continue trying if things aren’t solved soon.

[downn-in-flames]

let’s keep it casual

this was written for a trope stew challenge on @hpfanfictalk​ - my assigned tropes were 1) roaring rampage of revenge, 2) snowball lie, 3) friends with benefits, 4) it's personal, and 5) mistaken for betrayal. somehow, i think i managed to squish them all in here :P

read it on: hpft | ao3

[Tuesday 10 May, 15:04]

james potter: u up?

lily evans: it’s 3pm

james potter: good observation

lily evans: you need to get more creative with your ‘hi i’m bored can you come over and fuck me’ lines

james potter: did it work though?

lily evans: be there in 15

*

[Tuesday 10 May, 16:42]

sirius black: ran into lily in the lobby a few minutes ago sirius black: tell me, when are you going to finally own up to the fact that you fancy the shit out of her and aren’t just casually fucking her with no feelings involved

james potter: hmm, but see, that would require that statement to actually be true james potter: seriously, it’s just hooking up james potter: we’ve got a good thing going, i’m not going to ruin that by catching feelings

sirius black: ~catching~ feelings? sirius black: dude sirius black: feelings have long since been caught sirius black: by both of you

james potter: ur wrong but i’m not arguing that point with u anymore

sirius black: because your counterarguments are shit and you know it

*

[Wednesday 11 May, 20:53]

lily evans: i’m going to kill him i’m going to kill him i’m going to kill him lily evans: I’M GOING TO KILL HIM lily evans: give me ONE good reason not to commit murder right now

james potter: you can’t fuck me if you’re in prison?

lily evans: damn you have a point there

james potter: also why are you contemplating murder, that seems extreme

lily evans: two words for you: severus fucking snape

james potter: that’s three words

lily evans: do you want me to kill you too, bud??

james potter: you can’t fuck me if i’m dead james potter: but seriously, what did that greasebag do

lily evans: remember when i beat him to checking out the last copy of that chemistry research journal from the library?

james potter: i believe you described it as ‘the most victorious day of the semester to date’

lily evans: and i stand by that lily evans: but ANYWAYS lily evans: the creepy fucker SNUCK INTO MY ROOM and STOLE IT lily evans: and had the nerve to leave me a fucking LOVE NOTE in its place

james potter: he left you a love note?? james potter: what does it say?

lily evans: that is not the part of this story you should be fixating on lily evans: he wheedled his way through the front desk security and came into my room and WENT THROUGH MY STUFF lily evans: not to mention, the damn journal is still checked out in my name lily evans: so if he doesn’t return it on time, I’M going to have to pay for it lily evans: those things are expensive as FUCK

james potter: what a fucking twat

lily evans: i just lily evans: i can’t with him lily evans: the creepiness and borderline obsession with me is one thing lily evans: the fact that he acts like i owe it to him to be in love with him is another lily evans: but straight-up violating my privacy AND sabotaging my perfect reputation with the university library?? lily evans: i’m taking him down

james potter: hell yeah, you show that fucker once and for all

lily evans: wanna be my accomplice

james potter: that’s perhaps the sexiest thing you’ve ever said james potter: ofc i will be

lily evans: will text u when i come up with the appropriate revenge scheme

*

[Thursday 12 May, 13:02]

lily evans: meet me at the library in an hour

james potter: is this part of aforementioned revenge scheme?

lily evans: obviously

james potter: i shall be there

*

[Thursday 12 May, 15:23]

james potter: okay what the fuck was that

lily evans: in my defense it was not supposed to go that far

james potter: mind telling me what you DID have in mind when telling the librarian that we’re engaged?? james potter: because i’ve been wracking my brain and i’ve got nothing

lily evans: she was supposed to give me edit access to my account to fix my last name lily evans: which she did lily evans: and thanks to my BRILLIANT computer skills from there, the journal is checked out in snape’s name instead of mine lily evans: but clearly i underestimated how close i am with the uni library staff

james potter: no shit

lily evans: anyways, what do you want on our wedding registry

james potter: what

lily evans: i’ve got to give her a wedding website link!! she asked for it, i can’t very well show up at the library next week and not have a wedding website for her lily evans: i also ordered a £5 ring on etsy lily evans: it’s huge and tacky and exactly the sort of thing a trust fund baby like u would propose with

james potter: jfc james potter: put one of those mini waffle makers on there james potter: also i’m offended that you think so poorly of my ring-picking skills

*

[Friday 13 May, 9:10]

lily evans: hi, i have a weird request

remus lupin: that’s always a concerning sentence

lily evans: can you take fake engagement photos for me and james?? lily evans: will pay you in bourbon and chocolate

remus lupin: ……. literally what the fuck, lily remus lupin: why on earth do you need fake engagement photos

lily evans: i need them for our fake wedding website

remus lupin: somehow, that still doesn’t make this make any more sense

lily evans: it’s a long story lily evans: can you though?

remus lupin: *sigh* yes

lily evans: bless u

*

[Monday 16 May, 8:57]

lily evans: thoughts?? lily evans: Attachment - 12 Images

james potter: wow james potter: those look… really good

lily evans: we actually look like an engaged couple lily evans: like….. go us lily evans: alright, time to upload these bad boys onto the website

*

[Monday 16 May, 9:12]

james potter: sirius james potter: oh dear brother of mine james potter: who is nothing but kind and supportive and never gives me shit for anything james potter: how are you this fine evening?

sirius black: spit it out

james potter: as you know, i have been pulled into the most hare-brained of schemes with none other than lily evans james potter: and it spiralled into remus taking a bunch of fake engagement photos for us this weekend

sirius black: i am well aware sirius black: you stole my boyfriend from me on what would have otherwise been a chill saturday morning and used him to take pictures in a fucking flower field

james potter: that is correct james potter: anyways james potter: it has come to my attention that we make a Very Cute Couple

sirius black: are u saying what i think ur saying

james potter: and now i feel weird because i kind of... wish they weren’t fake??

sirius black: u ARE saying it sirius black: oh my GOD sirius black: took you long enough

james potter: hey now, you agreed not to give me shit

sirius black: if you scroll up, you’ll see i never agreed to anything

james potter: i can’t believe you’re being so rude to me in my time of dire emotional distress

*

[Monday 16 May, 15:32]

remus lupin: heard you finally got your head out of your ass and admitted you like evans as more than a friend slash hookup

james potter: i’m going to kill sirius, he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone

remus lupin: he’d like you to know that he never agreed to that either remus lupin: but seriously, it was about time

james potter: :( stop making me feel like an idiot for having feelings

remus lupin: you’re not an idiot for having feelings remus lupin: you ARE an idiot for taking so long to realise you’ve had them

james potter: this is a new development james potter: i only had friendly feelings for her until yesterday

remus lupin: …… james remus lupin: you once woke up in the middle of the night to drive to that 24-hour ice cream shop on the other side of town at 3 a.m. so you could take lily her favourite milkshake while she was studying remus lupin: that is NOT something you do for someone you only have friendly feelings for

james potter: it isn’t???

remus lupin: would you do that for me or peter?

james potter: no

remus lupin: hence, not friendly feelings

james potter: … oh

remus lupin: you are useless remus lupin: absolutely useless remus lupin: truly do not know what lily sees in you

james potter: well that’s mean

*

[Monday 16 May, 16:53]

lily evans: is it sad that i keep forgetting this wedding website is fake?? lily evans: like, i am putting Way Too Much Effort into this given that it is an elaborate ruse to appease some librarians and i keep catching myself fantasising about a real wedding lily evans: literally what is wrong with me

remus lupin: jfc remus lupin: you two really ARE meant for each other

*

[Monday 16 May, 23:49]

james potter: wait what do you mean ‘what lily sees in me’?? james potter: remus?????

*

[Tuesday 17 May, 10:03]

lily evans: stage 2 of burn snape’s life to the ground begins tomorrow lily evans: are you ready?

james potter: should i be prepared for a fake marriage this time?

lily evans: haha no, i promise i won’t spring any fake relationship statuses on you this time lily evans: but now that you mention it… lily evans: check out this work of art lily evans: theknot . com / deerlybeloved

james potter: fucking hell, evans james potter: you went all out

lily evans: umm yeah lol lily evans: turns out designing a wedding website is a really fun way to procrastinate

*

[Tuesday 17 May, 10:16]

james potter: she used a deer pun in the fake wedding page name i actually can’t breathe

sirius black: the transition from complete denial to pathetic sod happened even faster than i expected

james potter: you are ruthless

sirius black: remember when i was the pathetic sod about remus and you gave me SO much shit about it?? sirius black: this is payback, bitchhhhhhh

james potter: you’re right, i deserve this

*

[Wednesday 18 May, 19:34]

james potter: truly, evans, i don’t understand why you’re studying chem when you’re this good at hacking into things james potter: in other news, i’m having the absolute fucking time of my LIFE on snape’s reddit account rn james potter: i just wrote a long essay about how i’ve learned the errors of my bigoted ways and am embracing the blm movement and intersectional feminism and i’ve never seen something get so violently downvoted so fast

lily evans: see, this is why i knew you were the right accomplice for this lily evans: keep destroying his internet reputation and trolling his weird alt-right community with all your research and logic lily evans: you’re doing amazing sweetie

james potter: studying human rights law does occasionally have its perks james potter: this, plus ya know the whole ‘making the world a better place’ thing

lily evans: i was about to say lily evans: i should hope the only perk isn’t trolling the internet

james potter: ahahahahah yessss one of the admins is threatening to kick me out james potter: also he keeps using mudblood as an insult and i’m like ??? james potter: what does that even mean??

lily evans: somehow i feel like you don’t want to know

james potter: update i found out, and yes you were right, i didn’t want to know

lily evans: in that case, not gonna ask

*

[Thursday 19 May, 17:35]

severus snape: Potter.

james potter: fuck i really thought i’d blocked your number

severus snape: You’ve pulled childish pranks in the past, but getting me banned from the Death Eaters Messageboard is a new low.

james potter: i’m sorry what james potter: i don’t know what you’re talking about

severus snape: Cut the bullshit. severus snape: In the process of reinstating my account - with none of my reputation points, might I add, thanks for that - I’ve acquired photo evidence of the posts that resulted in my expulsion. severus snape: I know no one else who would both make a play on words about deer and quote a Taylor Swift song in the same sentence. It was obviously you, you childish buffoon.

james potter: haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate

severus snape: I’m not joking around here.

james potter: baby i’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

severus snape: You’re going to regret this, mark my words.

james potter: i shake it off, i shake it off

james potter has blocked severus snape

*

[Thursday 19 May, 19:03]

lily evans: come over i’m bored

james potter: is this a ‘come over so we can have sex’ type of come over or a ‘come over so we can watch the good place for the hundredth time’ type of come over

lily evans: why does it have to be one or the other?

james potter: touché james potter: omw

*

[Thursday 19 May, 22:38]

james potter: RED ALERT I HAVE FUCKED UP james potter: you’re 1000% gonna roast me for this and i don’t fucking care because if i don’t tell someone i’m actually going to explode

sirius black: what happened with lily this time

james potter: bold of you to assume this has to do with lily

sirius black: does it have to do with lily?

james potter: ….. yes

sirius black: my bold assumption proven correct

james potter: anyways, we were shagging, as we do james potter: and it was the ~heat of the moment~, you know??

sirius black: i am not qualified to give you sex advice, if that’s where this is going

james potter: and i might’ve accidentally told her i loved her

sirius black: oh fuck that’s not where this was going

james potter: and now i don’t know what to doooooo

sirius black: well, what did you do after you said it?

james potter: honestly i blacked out james potter: i think i backtracked by telling her i meant that i love fucking her and then just like….. left as soon as we were done

sirius black: jesus fucking CHRIST

*

[Thursday 19 May, 22:54]

remus lupin: sirius is banging his head on the table repeatedly and given that he was texting you a few minutes ago i can only assume you said something on a whole new level of stupid

*

[Thursday 19 May, 23:01]

james potter: sirius??? james potter: help???

sirius black: i have never gone out on a date with a woman and even i can tell you that that is absolutely NOT what you do when you tell a girl you love them for the first time sirius black: you absolute knob

james potter: so what do i doooooo

sirius black: tell her the truth maybe? sirius black: the cat’s out of the bag now anyways and it’s not like you can make things any worse than you already have

james potter: but we agreed no one was going to catch feelings when we started sleeping together!! james potter: we pinky swore james potter: i can’t break a pinky swear

sirius black: ffs the fact that you two pinky swore on a sex agreement is something i’ll need to give you shit for at a totally separate time but that’s not the most pressing issue at the moment sirius black: my point stands, breaking a pinky swear is still an improvement on the current situation sirius black: just tell her the truth so you two can become that nauseatingly adorable couple and overtake me and remus as the most vomit-inducing pair in college

james potter: ughhhhh james potter: curse my blood-deprived brain for getting me into this mess

*

[Saturday 21 May, 9:37]

lily evans: phase 4 of fucking up snape’s life starts today - you ready?

james potter: uhhh yeah james potter: listen, are you okay?

lily evans: yes? why wouldn’t i be?

james potter: idk james potter: but good, that’s good

lily evans: yep, it’s good

james potter: how many phases are there to this snape plan anyways? james potter: will i get to know any of the phases in advance?

lily evans: 4 phases lily evans: phase 1 was putting the world back in its rightful order, phases 2-4 are all about destroying the things he holds most dear lily evans: see: his top 5 placement on that alt-right message board (phase 2), and his good reputation with all the chem professors (phase 3) lily evans: (i handled phase 3 on my own, btw)

james potter: fair enough, don’t know how i would’ve helped with chem professors anyways james potter: pretty sure one of them (slughorn i think?) hates me from that one time sirius and i let chickens loose in the science building

lily evans: oh god yeah he definitely probably does lily evans: anyways, phase 4 is sneaking into his room like he did to mine, and you’re gonna leave the note lily evans: he’ll be properly pissed off if he knows you got in, but he’d probably just wank to a note i left

james potter: thanks for the most cursed mental image of my life james potter: but you’re prob right tbh

lily evans: anyways, i’m pretty good at picking the locks on the dormitory windows, so i’ll go in that way and unlock his room from the inside - all you’ll need to do is show up lily evans: tonight at 7

james potter: roger that

*

[Saturday 21 May, 13:46]

remus lupin: have you talked to lily about the infamous mid-coital ‘i love you’ yet?

james potter: jfc must sirius tell you everything james potter: and no, i’m getting there i swear

remus lupin: get there faster

*

[Saturday 21 May, 22:40]

sirius black: is everything okay?? sirius black: actually wait i know the answer to that sirius black: you came in soaking wet two hours ago and grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the kitchen and have been blasting all too well at top volume ever since sirius black: everything is definitely not okay

james potter: fcuk lily evans james potter: and not in the fun way james potter: i’m never gonna fuck her in the fun way again

sirius black: what happened?

james potter: rememember how we were sabotaging snep’s life james potter: *sneep james potter: *snape james potter: turns out, she and sneep go way back james potter: motherfucker james potter: sneep is jsut his name now james potter: anyways, she set me up and betrayed me james potter: sneep knew i was gonna be there and put a booby trap on his door, and he and lily were inside LAUGHING at me

sirius black: wait what the fuck sirius black: lily would never

james potter: but she would apparently james potter: she even has pictures of them in primary school together james potter: i just james potter: fuck

sirius black: that’s actually beyond fucked up

james potter: originally this whole revenge on sneep thing was just me following along with lily’s rage james potter: but now it’s personal james potter: the lily revenge plan didn’t have a phase 5, but the james version does james potter: and i’m taking both of them dwon james potter: is it petty? yes james potter: will it actually fix th fact that evans betrayed me? no james potter: but will it make me feel better? yess james potter: and that, i think, is a valid reason james potter: will u hlep me??

sirius black: i mean, i’m always down to fuck with sneep sirius black: but uhh, maybe sleep off the alcohol first sirius black: and stop playing all too well

james potter: okye

sirius black: that was not an invitation to start playing you’re not sorry

james potter: taylor swift is th eonly person who gets my sadness right now i cant’ help it

*

[Sunday 22 May, 9:21]

lily evans: i called you like 5 times last night, why didn’t you pick up

james potter: i wasn’t aware you’d want to talk to me james potter: too busy hanging out with your bff sneep

lily evans: jfc you’re such a drama queen

james potter: excuse me

lily evans: also god no i’d never hang out with snape lily evans: sneep? lol

james potter: it was a typo that i’m making into an Official Thing james potter: you two seemed awfully cozy yesterday james potter: you know, when you betrayed me and led me straight into a trap

lily evans: ffs i didn’t betray you lily evans: if you would’ve picked up any of my calls last night, i would’ve been able to explain to you that this was all part of the plan

james potter: wait what

lily evans: i had to make you think i’d betrayed you because you can’t act for shit

james potter: why did you need me to think that

lily evans: for the real phase 4 lily evans: i’m destroying everything snape holds dear lily evans: which, yes, includes both his weird messageboard reputation and his teacher’s pet status, but you know what’s at the very top of that list? lily evans: his perpetual wank that i’m going to realise he was the perfect man for him all along lily evans: hence, i have lulled him into a false sense of believing his fantasy has finally come true so i can crush it under my heel once and for all

james potter: that is… downright diabolical

lily evans: i take revenge crusades very seriously

james potter: ok but how do i know you’re not double crossing me again?

lily evans: bc for fuck’s sake in what world would i EVER want to be with someone who treats me like a fucking prize that he’s owed for being nice to me as a kid?? lily evans: c’mon potter, you know me better than that

james potter: it felt SO REAL yesterday though

lily evans: that is because i, unlike you, am excellent at acting

james potter: why do you keep implying i’m a bad actor??

lily evans: because you are lily evans: exhibit a - you told me you loved me and then proceeded to full-on panic so hard that you gave the world’s worst cover up and ran away at the first possible moment

james potter: oh god, you noticed that

lily evans: of course i noticed that, because once again, you are the world’s worst actor

james potter: yikes james potter: i’m sorry, i know i managed to break literally the only rule we had going into this arrangement

lily evans: it’s actually kinda convenient, tbh lily evans: considering i broke it as well

james potter: you what

lily evans: as it happens, i have somewhat recently come to the realisation that my feelings for you are somewhat outside the bounds of what one would consider ~friendly~

james potter: was it the wedding website james potter: is that what did it

lily evans: embarrassingly enough…. yes

james potter: SAME

lily evans: wait seriously??

james potter: so serious i’m not even gonna make a sirius pun james potter: i mean, did you SEE how good we look together?? james potter: evans, we are a POWER COUPLE

lily evans: hell yes we are

james potter: a power couple who takes sneep down once and for all

lily evans: hell yes we are x100 lily evans: come over in a bit? gotta discuss the actual plan lily evans: i may have an idea that makes it even better

*

[Sunday 22 May, 10:21]

james potter: on second thought, plans have changed yet again

sirius black: i take it this is a positive change sirius black: given that you have now taken to blasting call it what you want

james potter: :)

*

[Sunday 22 May, 13:05]

james potter has unblocked severus snape

james potter: hey bro i just wanted to say i’m sorry for trying to sneak into your room

severus snape: You’re not my bro. Don’t call me that. severus snape: We both know you’re only apologising because you wanted to get into Lily’s pants.

james potter: not what this is about but go off i guess

severus snape: You’re just jealous because for once, the nice guy did get the girl. severus snape: Apology not accepted, by the way.

*

[Sunday 22 May, 13:13]

james potter: Attachment - 1 Screenshot james potter: at what point do i get to tell him i’ve actually been in your pants

lily evans: your time will come lily evans: but for now, stop texting sneep and put your phone down so that you can cuddle with your naked girlfriend who’s literally on the other side of the bed waiting for you

james potter: don’t have to ask me twice

*

[Sunday 22 May, 13:57]

lily evans: hey sev? wanna meet me at the founder’s garden this afternoon?

severus snape: Of course. Let’s do 4.

lily evans: looking forward to it xx

*

[Sunday 22 May, 18:59]

sirius black: heard sneep had a temper tantrum so dramatic half of the college overheard it

james potter: it was iconic

sirius black: also heard you and evans are engaged now???

james potter: ah, that part is just hearsay james potter: we decided to lean into the fact that we’ve already got a fake wedding website and just throw a fake proposal in there for good measure james potter: it’s still not an actual engagement james potter: but sneep doesn’t know that, and he never will

sirius black: that is so fantastically stupid, but then again, i don’t know why i’d expect anything less from you two at this point

james potter: i am going to buy her a less shitty ring though - not like an actual diamond one, but something in the middle ground, ya know? james potter: if she’s gonna wear it all the time it might as well be nice

*

[Sunday 22 May, 23:41]

severus snape: You are despicable. severus snape: You stole the girl who was clearly MINE. Lily loved ME first.

james potter: first of all, lily doesn’t belong to anyone james potter: second of all, she picked me

severus snape: And we all know you’re just going to drop her as soon as you get your dick wet.

james potter: not that our sex life is any of your business, but i can assure you that i have already disproven that theory

severus snape: That’s disgusting. I didn’t need to know that.

james potter: i mean, you’re the one who keeps bringing things back to getting into lily’s pants james potter: just wanted to share that the experience is indeed a pleasant one, 10/10 would recommend, not that you’ll ever get to experience it for yourself

severus snape: Fuck. You.

james potter: you know what i think, sneep?

severus snape: My name is Snape. Surely your pea brain can at least spell that properly.

james potter: i think you need to calm down james potter: you’re being too loud

james potter has blocked severus snape

*

[Monday 23 May, 12:54]

lily evans: fyi the uni library staff sent us one of those mini waffle makers as an engagement gift

james potter: oh my god james potter: best fake engagement ever

lily evans: figured you’d enjoy that

[mediapuppy]

Gosh it’s so flattering that people want to know more about me!  Now you wouldn’t expected these to be loaded questions, but let me preface this by saying that I’m an absolute mess when it comes to college.  I do nothing normally.  Sleep is nonexistent.  My advisors are going to stab me in my sleep. Come with me while I take you on the wild, dysfunctional rollercoaster that is Media’s College Misadventures™

Now I like a lot of things in an abstract sort of way.  I love cooking and baking.  I used to do a lot of overseas work with genetics and animals.  I’ve always been fascinated by the brain in the sort of vague way most people are. But this doesn’t sell, so I went into my freshman year an Economics/CS major as prep work to take over the family business!    Please for the love of god don’t follow in my footsteps but I spent the last two years of high school running with a dangerously fun crew whose blood was 80% vodka and 20% bad decisions and we all somehow got into our top universities.  Out of sheer notgivingafuckness I put all the top universities I got into in a hat and just picked one.  The next morning I woke up with no recollection of the previous day and a thank-you email from the college I apparently accepted.  I was very drunk, yet I regret nothing. This college decided the best course of action would be to send me to Ireland for my first year where I immediately proceeded to make friends with all my professors and go drinking with them after class every day.  They showed me pizza clubs and these really fancy underground bars for the Irish elite, I think one of my best memories was going to a gay bar in the back alleys of southside Dublin with my economic perspectives prof then drunk stumbling over to this game shop at 2AM to learn to play magic with these very confused guys that readily accepted us as their new best friends. I learned absolutely nothing.  If you’re wondering just how much of a mess I was the dean of the entire fucking university knew me as the girl that was always asleep on the floor between classes with this dude who looked like the human version of Animal from The Muppets guarding my stuff.  The dean would go to this chocolatiers place across the street and get a few chocolate treats with his morning coffee to put in my hungover, asleep fish hand for when I woke up.  That man was a goddamn delight and I still talk to him to this day. A lot of things happened in Ireland that I will happily tell ya’ll if you want!  Just as an overview during these few months we also: got tazed repeatedly because we lived in gang territory (thanks uni for putting us there!!), watched our friend get kidnapped overnight from our favorite club (he was fine), got the entire country of America banned from several bars on our street, got accepted by the gang that terrorized us for the first two months, watched as on Halloween our entire apartment building got set on fire by said gang and we just went outside to drink beer with them while our advisor was having a nervous breakdown, and many, many bad decisions on my part.   After a few months we all got shipped back to the actual campus back in the states where things all went downhill.  My advisor straight up quit in my first week and I never got reassigned so I was just this poor tiny freshman stuck in upper-level classes with very confused and sympathetic seniors.  Halfway into the second semester one of my profs, the head of the whole econ department, started hitting on me.  If you’ve ever had the wonderful experience of being A Female In College ™ you know the type.  The ones that lean in a little too close, smile a little too wide when they see you.  So I said hell no and switched out of the major before the semester had even ended Into my second year, I was just taking classes aimlessly for a while picking new majors every few weeks while my advisors prayed for my demise.  I dabbled in psychology and sociology until I realized it was just memorizing terminology (but I made a friend in intro and together we both completed a minor in it just to hang out).  There was a very short-lived stint in biology for a while.  I dipped my fingers into Neuroscience for as long as they’d tolerate me.  Mathematics wasn’t too interesting without a double.  I ended up joining a lot of clubs and my main one was an engineering club (my uni is engineering-focused, rip me) but none of the facets of engineering interested me. Following from my long laundry list of good decisions I decided to just start befriending more professors and to aimlessly take their classes instead.  Long story short I accidentally completed a full B.S. in Philosophy of Science my sophomore year after overloading courses and being bored as all hell so a friend of mine, one of the top profs in the department, asked me to take his new upper-level quantum course so I said yes if he’d wave the prereqs and oop it turned out to be a senior thesis course and then I was all done with that major. I hadn’t made university hours so the beginning of my third year I was just taking mathematics and a few other courses while my advisors breathed down my neck ready to murder me.  They wanted me gone so bad, man, ya’ll have no idea.  I’m not even mentioning all the times I raised absolute hell on campus we just focusing on my major-based misadventures right now. Okay, so part of my university is something called co-op: a mandatory work experience period where students take semesters off at a time to do paid work in the field of their choice.  I hadn’t really any set majors at the time except for whatever bullshit showed up on my degree audit so I started searching for my 4-6 month co-op just to get it out of the way. Unfortunately for everybody involved, I interview extremely well and look good on paper.  I look damn good in a suit too and like to entertain when they’re supposed to be grilling me, so nobody stood a chance. I applied to the most ridiculous jobs I could find.  I was not qualified for any of it.  I got accepted to 90% of what I applied to. Out of notgivingafuckness pt2 I decided to give myself to the highest bidder which is how I ended up working for a defense contracting company that liked my coding background and how I just kinda roll with whatever’s going on.  So on the cusp of the covid pandemic I was working in security and dispatch for a major city hall that controlled the police department, fire, sanitation, everything under the sun.   I was so bad at my job, but I was enjoying it and that was everybody else’s problem.  When covid really started up and they let me go with 6 months full pay I immediately switched into PoliSci/Cyber and that’s where I am now, in my 4th year!   So to answer your question: my major is a mystery to everyone including me, but it’s something like PhilSci/PoliSci/Cyber and I’m taking 6 classes and I am dying fams.  My college experience is not and will never be normal, and I’ve still got masters/phd to go.  I’ve got a ton of great friends who constantly worry for my wellbeing because I do crazy shit and I am currently taking on the daunting challenge of befriending profs over zoom, who are only half into it. Don’t be me, but go out there and have fun!  College doesn’t have to be all about studying, and while now I’m taking too many classes to do much of anything else in my first few years I joined a ton of clubs and experienced all I could, so just get out there and do your best!

[thelazybitch]

fuck

I just realized it’s the last day of January and I still haven’t quite found my groove yet this semester. (In my defense, the sem started on January 15 but obviously making excuses isn’t going to help my case.)

I won’t make any promises since that seems to be deterring me from actually posting here properly. If it matters or if anyone cares (at least I do), I actually am doing the stuff I promised I would in my schedule. It’s just...not very structured. I’ve been in college (or uni whatevs) for nearly 3 years now but I still feel like the days move way too fast and I am hopelessly trying to catch up.

Or maybe I just have shit time management skills lol

So yeah...I’m not going to say anything else that might jinx the blog again. Just brb, I guess.

[feuillesmortes]

This was inspired by a chat I had with the lovely @queenbessofyork​ and her Great Tea Discourse™. It’s especially dedicated to her. It’s set on the flatmates au verse, so I’m tagging my pal @harritudur as usual. The scene: Henry Tudor meets Elizabeth Woodville. What ensues? Awkward family conversations, of course!

x

The Thames smelled funny that day, Lizzie reckoned, as she paved the cobbles of Butler’s Wharf pier. It had drizzled lightly in the morning, a typical January weather, but the mist had been swept by the changing winds and now London basked in the white milky light of a winter sun. Her path along the river took her to an ancient warehouse where the tea trade once had flourished; now that building housed luxury flats and fancy laid-back restaurants. It was only fitting that her mother invite her to take afternoon tea in one of such places in Butler’s Wharf. Yet, as Lizzie walked along the dazzling sight of the skyscrapers that loomed behind the Tower of London, she could not help but worry if the place her mother had chosen would come out too expensive for them. Lizzie thought she had been the only one struggling with learning how to live on a budget; perhaps she had been wrong.

When Lizzie arrived at the restaurant she was already ten minutes late. She removed her gloves to check the location on her phone and shot a last wishful glance at the view before she entered. If not for the biting cold, they might have been able to sit on the decked terrace facing Tower Bridge. As she rushed past the entrance doors and quickly scanned the place in search of her mother, her eyes instantly found a blond head that beckoned her with a small wave and a soft smile. “Mother!” she cried merrily as she came to her side, bending down to kiss her cheek and give her a quick hug. Elizabeth Woodville York looked her up and down with an appraising eye. “My dearest Lizzie. How’s everything at uni? So far so good?” The semester had just started again and Lizzie was back at juggling her studies and a part-time job. She was glad she wouldn’t have to quit uni though, if everything really turned out as well as she hoped it would.

Lizzie took off her thick wool coat and her scarf and hung it on the back of her seat before sitting down. “It’s been fine, mum. I’ve got so many things to talk to you.” Namely, she thought, some resolutions regarding her love life and Charles. She squeezed the hand laid over the table and mused. “But first you will have to tell me why you booked this table. It’s too big for us, don’t you think?” The amused glint in her mother’s eyes and the upturned corners of her mouth told Lizzie she had some mischief in mind. “You see, they only had available this table for four, and we certainly wouldn’t fit in a table for two.” Lizzie furrowed her brows, befuddled. “Why wouldn’t we... Are you expecting company?” Her mum shushed her with a light tap on the hand. “Besides, my dear, I was not the one who made the reservation.” A rising suspicion crept on Lizzie. “Mum, please. If not you, then who made the booking?” Her mother looked over her shoulder and tilted her chin forwards. “That fine young chap coming over, I presume.” Lizzie’s head turned around so fast she thought she heard her spine snapping. One of her worst fears came alive as she saw Henry Tudor heading towards them. He looked slightly short-winded in his haste, an apologetic look crossing his features as he took off his thick scarf.

“I can’t believe you invited him, mum!” She growled in a low voice. Her levels of embarrassment reached a new high as she saw her mother donning her familiar business-like smile. “You know why I had to do it. He’s helping me with the lawsuit.” Her mother pinched her lightly on her side. “Now, come on. Don’t be rude. Smile!”

Henry stopped by their table and greeted them with a short nod. “Lizzie. And I take this is Mrs York? I am terribly sorry for the lateness.” Lizzie’s mum took the hand he extended and shook it. “No need for apologies. It’s not been five minutes since Lizzie arrived. Please sit down.” Henry took off his long overcoat and lowered himself into the seat across her mother’s, which also happened to be the one right next to Lizzie. He smoothed a hand over his sandy curls and fixed the glasses falling off his nose before he begun. “Mrs York, I do feel the need to apologise, though. I’ve just come from a couple of intership interviews in the City and I had no idea I would be held up to this hour. I’d hate to cause the wrong impression, of course.”

Lizzie glanced at the leather satchel resting next to his brand new looking shoes. Going to a couple of interviews that day rather explained his smartly fitted attire. He wore a charcoal blazer and a navy jumper over a white dress shirt. The overcoat that by now hung on the back of his seat was lighter than his blazer, almost a dove grey really. A fine finishing touch was the blue plaid tier that brought out the colour of his eyes just nicely. Lizzie had never seen him looking so... dapper, for lack of a better word. On a second note though, Lizzie mused, it was not like Henry had ever been sloppy with his dressing. She was yanked out of her reverie by her mother’s humming and the tapping of her nails on the table.

“Nonsense. My late husband worked in the City all his life. I personally know they can be very demanding, especially with aspiring young men like you.” Lizzie had to cut in. “I wish you good luck, Henry. I really do. I know you’ve wanted this for a long time.” She was looking at him fully and he thanked her with a brief smile, but he did not hold her gaze for too long. There had been something slightly off with him since that night before the holidays, that one time when she had cried on his shoulder. But again, Lizzie was almost sure he felt the same about her. Something between them had changed, and not in a comfortable way, which made this meeting all the more awkward.

A waitress came over to place the tea setting on the table - plates, pastry forks and butter knives, tea cups, saucers and teaspoons, sugar bowls and milk jugs. A pair of tiered cake stands was brought before them, one larger than the other, both fully graced with delicious-looking scones, cakes and finger sandwiches. “Oh, yes, about that.” Lizzie’s mother started, “Henry, as I was waiting I took the liberty to order a double for you and Lizzie, if that’s not a problem. I just assumed it’s cheaper that way, and as you offered to pay, I didn’t want to abuse your generosity.” Wait. So it was Henry who was going to pay for the meal? Lizzie felt her ears burning. He shot a look at Lizzie. “That’s not a problem at all, Mrs York. I mean, if Lizzie is ok with sharing, of course.” Lizzie simply nodded her consent, though at that moment she’d rather have her head stuck in the sand. 

The waitress asked them about their choice of tea and Mrs York was the first to reply. “Darjeeling tea, if you so happen to have it. You do? Brilliant. Lizzie, what about you?” As Lizzie checked the menu, she was pleasantly surprised they were still serving their holiday specials. She spotted the perfect festive tea, described as ‘a blend of red rooibos, juicy cranberries and warming vanilla’. Lizzie happily smiled to herself, for she dearly loved a good seasonal drink. “I’ll have the Rudolph Red Rooibos, please.” She caught a bemused Henry staring at her from above his menu, well on the verge of laughter. She gave him a small smile and shrugged as if to say you know I’m a Christmas freak!

“And Henry?” Her mother raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Henry doesn’t like tea, mum.” Lizzie’s voice came out sounding rather defensive. But Lord, she wished her mother would stop being such a pushover at times!

“Oh, no? Well, that’s unfortunate.”

“Actually, I’ll have Earl Grey, please.” Henry simply stated as he closed his menu, and the waitress promptly went back to fetch their tea.

“A good choice,” her mother mused, filling her plate with a couple of sandwiches from her stand. “Simple and effective. Just the right amount of flavour to the traditional tea.” 

How come Lizzie had never seen him enjoying a good old cuppa before? Granted, she had never paid much attention to what was inside his mug most of the times she found him in the kitchen. And yet, at that moment Lizzie must have looked gobsmacked, for Henry felt the need to explain himself. “I do drink tea on occasion, yes. But I like to think I’m a fairly simple Brit. I don’t care for much else as long as it’s simple tea, as black as my own heart.”

Lizzie let out a small laugh. “That’s entirely not true! You’re not fooling anyone, Henry.” She nibbled softly at a scone plastered with clotted cream and strawberries. She watched as his eyes followed the movements of her fingers. Was he looking at her scone, or at her lips? “Henry, tea is all about the brand, you see.” Lizzie’s mum quipped. “If you’re taking one of those horrid PG tips or Tetley tea bags, then you’re in for a mediocre experience. Next time you find yourself in the supermarket, buy Yorkshire Tea. It’s a proper brew with the best blend of leaves. I’ll be chuffed to bits if you like it.” Henry exchanged a bemused look with Lizzie. “I’ll make sure I’ll try it, Mrs York.”

The waitress finally came with the teapots and poured for each of them. The three enjoyed a moment of silence as the heat and steam of their beverage rose from cup to nose, bringing a cozy warm feeling to the heart. The metallic sound of Mrs York placing her teaspoon on the saucer rose them from their thoughts. “Henry, I’m afraid I didn’t come here for chin wag, as much as I love a good banter. I’ll cut the chit chat and get straight to the point. I must thank you for your help in the lawsuit.”

Henry shook his head slightly. “I did next to nothing, Mrs York, but I’m glad I introduced Bray to you. He’s been my mother’s solicitor for years. He’s very proficient at what he does and we trust him to do his best.”

Lizzie’s mum blinked, a queer glint in her eyes. “Your mother’s name is Margaret Beaufort, isn’t it? Lizzie told me so. Is that her maiden name?”

“Yes, she didn’t take my father’s when they married.”

“I have the impression I know her... I don’t know from where, though...” Mrs York took a sip from her cup and feigned a pensive look. Lizzie sometimes wondered if her mother’s cunning was as blatantly evident to other people as it was for herself. “Wait, I think I remember now. Is she the wife of Thomas Stanley?”

Henry nodded as he sipped from his cup. If he thought he was subtle by busying himself with tea instead of eating the left salmon crostini, he was entirely too wrong. Lizzie suspected he knew how much she loved a good smoked salmon, especially with cream cheese, so he scarcely touched the food. He landed his cup on the saucer with a clank. “Yes, Mrs York. He is my stepfather.”

“Is he? Stanley was one of my husband’s longtime associates. So that’s how I remember your mother... That’s quite interesting, isn’t it? We live in a small world if we think about it. Look at you and Lizzie-”

“Mum, did you know Henry’s mother has her own publishing company?” Lizzie cut in before her mother could get out of hand. “How amazing is that?” Mrs York shot a slightly confused look between Lizzie and Henry. “Why, it is indeed-”

“Her recent project is about promoting female authors.” Henry added, sharing a look with Lizzie from above his cup. She took the hint.

“A noble cause! Don’t you think, mum?”

“Quite so. Well I think-”

“It’s more like the work of a life, really. She’s very dedicated to it.” Henry stated, before he swallowed the rest of his drink with a gulp. Lizzie smiled shyly, looking down at her lap. “Oh, look!”, she said. “We’re almost done.” She gestured vaguely at the cake stands, then turned to the passing waitress nearby. “Can you bring us the check, please?” 

Mrs York cleaned her hands on the serviettes. “Well, I must say this was a pleasant meeting. Wasn’t it, Lizzie my dear? I’m afraid this whole eviction lawsuit has been a dreadful, dreadful business. My husband’s family has never liked me. It pains me to say so, but they thought me a scheming gold digger the moment I married Edward.”

“Mum!” Lizzie protested, extremely vexed. Henry didn’t need to know all the gruesome details of her family drama.

“Lizzie, you know this is true. I’m being honest with Henry, that’s all. Your father’s relatives deem themselves the icing on the cake. All because they descend from some ancient Plantagenet king. The absurdity of it all.”

Lizzie felt like dying of embarrassment. “Even so, mum.”

“It’s alright, Lizzie.” He touched her knee from beneath the table, his fingertips lingering briefly on her tights. For a moment she forgot all about her mother’s venting. As the waitress came back, they got up from the table and Henry offered to pay for the meal as her mother expected. Lizzie felt silly not protesting against it, but her mother grabbed her by the hand and told Henry they would wait for him outside. As soon as they stepped in the pier they put on their scarves and gloves, greeted as they were by the chilling wind. 

“He’s quite dashing, your Henry.” A congenial smile brightened her mother’s features as she watched Henry Tudor put on his coat before crossing the doors.

“He’s not my Henry.” Lizzie grudgingly replied.

“Perhaps not for now.” Lizzie whirled around to voice her protest, but Henry joined them before she could. “Oh, so this is where we part ways.” Her mother kissed her cheek before approaching Henry. “I’m walking to Bermondsey station. I’m taking the Jubilee line. What about you two?”

Henry shot a glance at Lizzie, as if making sure they would be walking together before he replied. “We’re taking the tube at Tower Hill.” Her mother offered him a gloved hand. “Oh, I see.” Henry shook hands with Mrs York, and Lizzie could only watch her mother’s back as she leaned in closer and not so quietly muttered “Take care of Lizzie, will you?” His eyes sought Lizzie’s instantly, and he solemnly nodded. “Trust me, I will.”

Lizzie was sure her face must have been devoid of all colour as she watched her mother go. She began to slowly walk with Henry to the station, the crisp air turning their breaths into small clouds. She eyed him walking beside her, his hands in his pockets, his thick scarf hanging loosely around his neck. “Sorry about my mother”, she awkwardly mumbled. He offered her a soft smile in return. “Don’t worry about it.”

Now daylight was fading fast as an early twilight sky fell upon them. The few Christmas decorations that still remained along the river path were already lit, as was Tower Bridge. Not so far from them, the financial buildings of the City glowed through glass windows - the Cheesegrater, the Gherkin, the Walkie-Talkie, and many others whose nicknames Lizzie didn’t know. She watched them all come alive as the winter night approached.

As they crossed the river Henry pulled Lizzie from her reverie. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Lizzie followed his gaze and understood he was talking about the Tower. He sighed softly as if suddenly knackered, taking off his blurred glasses to wipe them on his scarf. “A sight, really. How many stories does it hold?” Lizzie looked at the beige walls of the Tower of London, lit here and there by spotlights. And to think that those walls, as well as Westminster’s, once had been white. She repressed a shudder. “Every time I look at the Tower I get a strange feeling. A sense of impending doom.” His eyes turned to her, inquisitive, bright and blue. Lizzie tried to shrug the feeling off. “I don’t know why. It must be the stories.” Henry arched an eyebrow at her. “The princes in the Tower, for one?” She nodded. “A dreadful story. Do you believe an uncle could murder his own nephews?” 

Henry looked at her as if he understood her completely, as if he was seeing her for who she truly was for the first time. “I don’t think we’ll ever know the answer to that mystery, Lizzie. Not even the bodies that were found could be DNA tested at the time. In a situation like this we have two options. We can accept what we have as positive evidence and roll along with it, or... We can speculate, listen to the stories and make of them what we will.” It was true, and yet Lizzie expected nothing less from Henry. She smiled at him. “Well, you know which one is much more fun.”

He chuckled. She took the glasses he was still holding in his hands and wiped them on her own scarf. Hers was a red blanket scarf that matched her burgundy gloves, its fabric more refined than his. She then returned his glasses, getting on her tiptoes to place them above a reddened nose. As they started again their walk along Tower Bridge, she laced an arm with him. She could not pinpoint the reason, but perhaps for the first time it felt right. 

x

Disclaimer: Yorkshire Tea did NOT pay me to write this fic (I wish they did, though). It’s simply that good! Trust me *winks while holding a cuppa like an old wise grandma*

[miximax-hell]

First of all: KURIMATSU FAMILY. THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME IN YEARS.

...Ahem.

It’s been about (over, cough) 3 months since my last proper post. Sigh. Life sure sucks when you finish what was the best semester of your university career and then you’re suddenly back home and wondering how to deal with... life. A life that you didn’t even think about for quite a few months and suddenly hits you in the face.

That kind of drained me. Sinusitis didn’t help either, but it was mostly a combination of feeling out of place in my own house, a complete lack of motivation to be productive (then again, I’m on holidays, so I guess taking a break after uni was a legit thing to do) and just bad feelings in general. Not very nice.

But oh well! The best way to stop overthinking and start acting is to act, so even if it took me a while to get started, here I am with the first miximax I have designed in quiiite some time. And nothing suits this heavy amount of rust better than a character that is known for sucking in general, like our much beloved Megane Kakeru.

Luckily for him, though, Megane is miximaxed with Yamano Ban, the (somewhat) charismatic protagonist of the Danball Senki series! And if you’re thinking, “hey, you cheeky little bastard! You always say you will only use one character from each franchise and you’ve already used Hiro before!,” I’ll kindly redirect you to this ancient post where I said that I may use up to two characters from L5 franchises if the matches were nice enough. And considering I thought of this one waaay before I thought of Toramaru’s, I really wanted to make use of that exception. I asked @great-blaster about her opinion on something related to this miximax around... 4 years ago, so go figure.

Well, that was one long intro. More information regarding Megane’s miximax can be found under the cut. As it used to happen back when I was, you know, not lazy.

Okay, so! It’s been a while, we’re all excited about Ares coming out soon and we could use a little action, so let’s focus on Megane’s powers! This whole poor mood has kept me from doing some actual and proper thinking, but I think writing will help me come up with ideas for him on the go, so let’s tackle it one subject at a time.

First of all, let’s start what the one thing I do know, and one of the main reasons to want Ban as an aura. Ban is a scout character in Chrono Stone and Galaxy, and he has an exclusive hissatsu technique that no other character in the game can use, simply because it involves the use of Ban’s LBX. This hissatsu is called Glorious Ray, and is taken straight from Danball Senki W, where it’s one of Ban’s strongest attack functions (the DanSen equivalent of Inazuma’s special techniques). And, gosh, am I a sucker for exclusive things. So of course it’d be a very deciding factor and one of MegaBan’s main perks.

Glorious Ray isn’t just an exclusive technique, but a really, really powerful one. Just so you can get an idea, in Galaxy, it has a base power of 190, while The Earth ∞, a 3-player combo hissatsu that is supposed to be one of the strongest techniques in the game, has a base power of 200. Definitely not something to mess with. And while it is indeed very overpowered, this matches Megane perfectly too.

Those who haven’t played the games wouldn’t know, but Megane is prone to learning extremely powerful techniques when he reaches very high levels. His abilities include Divine Arrow, Chaos Break, Fuurinkazan Destroyer, Saikyou Eleven Hadou and even the aforementioned The Earth ∞. Truly a force to reckon, even if his stats still let him down. In any case, learning terribly overpowered hissatsus is common for him, and getting one more suits him perfectly.

Now, this covers the first hissatsu, but not the second one. A quick look at Inazuma’s wiki will tell us that Ban learns 3 other moves: Odin Sword, Decoy Release and Fukutsu no Seishin. We may choose one of these or try to come up with a whole new one, so let’s see.

Odin Sword is completely out of the question. This is Fideo’s hissatsu and I love him too much to steal his technique so cheaply. In my heart, the only person who can use Odin Sword besides Fideo is Handa. ...Whoops, my bias is showing. Excuse me.

Decoy Release maaay work, but I don’t especially dig it. It feels so out of place. You wouldn’t relate this technique to Ban at all, so it isn’t tempting to add it to the mix.

And last, but not least, we have Fukutsu no Seishin. If you don’t feel like checking the wiki, I’ll tell you that Fukutsu no Seishin is a skill that improves a character’s hissatsus when he or she is tired. This does suit Ban, since *+*+*drama*+*+* forces him to have clutch wins all the time. ww When you are tired and almost dead is when you awaken your true power, and let’s be honest--Megane spends most of his time in the field tired and almost dead, so this could actually prove to be a wonderful skill for him to have. Not to mention that staying mixitransed is said to drain you very fast (and it does in the games), so he would be able to activate this ability quite early on.

What is the bad thing, then? Well... in terms of *+*+*drama*+*+* and general Inazuma storytelling, skills aren’t the most... interesting things. We want explosions and quick moves and stuff, not a skill that suddenly activates out of the blue and makes you stronger. ...Then again, Pokémon DP based Ash’s Chimchar’s power entirely on his Blaze ability. If they could do that, I guess I can too. I guess.

But, yeah. I’ll keep this for now since it’s pretty much the perfect skill for Megane, but I’ll see if I can come up with something better.

(I doubt it.)

With that out of the way, let’s jump into what hissatsu would get powered up by this miximax. The easy answer is... none. You see, Megane and Ban fit so well together, but, for the most part, Megane’s hissatsus don’t fit him at all. The only ones that fit him are Megane Crash (obviously), Perfect Course, the ever-present Yakubyougami, maybe Future Eye... and Super Scan. And, if I had to choose, this last hissatsu would be the one getting the miximax boost.

Super Scan, a game-exclusive technique that has two different versions (an offensive one and a defensive one, both of which Megane can use), involves a bunch of screens appearing around the user, which tell them how the rival will move and how to counter him/her, whether it is to steal the ball or to dribble. The single reason why this could work is because, much like MegaBan has access to Ban’s LBX, he also has access to his CCM! The little phone-like thing they use to control the LBXs, that is.

Now, these CCMs have screens--and multiple ones, at times. Couldn’t MegaBan check all the information that Super Scan provides from his CCM, which would make it more accurate due to the use of, well, actual technology rather than sheer Inazuma logic? Well, there’s a thought. I’m not sure if it’s a thought I’ll actually develop, but there’s a thought.

This, however, gives me a new and exciting idea. Those who have watched Danball Senki will know (and if you haven’t and you plan to do so, spoiler ahead for the rest of the paragraph) that some LBXs and users can use special modes to power themselves up in the middle of the fight. It certainly would be useful to be able to have a power-up of that kind for Megane and for Toramaru. Some kind of WX/WV Mode to use in the aforementioned clutches. In terms of Inazuma logic, this could be some Chara Change/alter ego thing with some kind of time restriction, a hissatsu tactics of sorts or even a skill that requires to be losing to activate, like Never Give Up. There are so many possibilities, thankfully!

End of spoilers here. You may read on. ww

Now, for the last subject to cover, we find ourselves stuck. An impasse, so to speak.

I always think about how a miximax affects the vessel’s natural abilities. What changes? Which of the vessel’s abilities improve? Which don’t? Incidentally, which do actually get worse? And how do these changes make the vessel a more unique player?

Well, the thing is that Megane has no skills. He sucks. Not like Handa, but for real. He was, quite literally, completely useless before the miximax, so we really don’t have anything to work with. His only redeeming point, if we may call it that, are his super strong hissatsus, which are often nearly useless with such poor stats (save for a couple of games where he was made to be sliiightly better. But let’s roll with the general “forever shitty” tone).

This means that Megane is... nothing. He is a proper zero. He has no real skills to add to, save for a ludicrously high luck stat in Chrono Stone and Galaxy--the only games where Ban is a playable character. So we can assume that Megane + Ban = lucky Ban. In that case, let’s look at Ban and see what we can do.

Ban boasts an impressive kick stat--better than young Gouenji’s and just as good as Ishido’s. He’s definitely a powerhouse with super good hissatsus to boot. We are quite over the whole “look at how powerful I am” thing--if we just want power, we can resort to GouYuu or SomeKyu, for example. So, no. Sheer power isn’t quite enough anymore.

There is, however, a way to make MegaBan special without making weird things up and respecting the actual information provided by the canon of the games.

We have a fast and powerful striker--GouYuu. We have a massive powerhouse that hits like a truck despite being slow--SomeKyu. We have a witty and tricky striker who plays mindgames on his rivals--MaxLink. And... a few undescribed forwards, too. ww But MegaBan relies on an entirely different concept to make him special and... usable. Worthy.

MegaBan is the Crit King.

In the Inazuma games, much like in any other RPG, our characters may perform critical moves, which end up being heaps stronger than they would normally be. Incidentally, they may also miss, which means the move will be heaps weaker than usual. Whether a character is prone to crits or to misses is based on its luck stat and not on the move used.

Megane has a huge luck stat, as mentioned, which means many of his moves will be critical. With such terrible stats, however, even his crits won’t be anything special. Nothing to be too proud of.

Megane, however, is miximaxed with Ban, who boasts a power that can rival that of adult ace strikers like Gouenji even though he’s still a kid. He is an all-around great player, but probably not all that special compared to the rest of the members of this big miximax team.

But an above average striker who lands crits continuously, thus improving not only the strength of his shots, but the strength of absolutely everything he does, is a whole different matter. MegaBan’s actual strength is constantly being multiplied due to his sheer dumb luck (and, potentially, the aforementioned skills), thus improving his shots, dribbles and steals greatly. Definitely a very multitalented forward and a great addition to the team, if you ask me.

...At least, for as long as he can stay mixitransed. Or for as long as his natural skill Yakubyougami doesn’t play tricks on him.

[nathannewlandbct-blog]

Week 2: We have a concept (finally!)

Log entries for week 2

Monday

Today I went into Uni knowing that I walk out with a solid understanding of what I'll be making with my team this semester. It took a while for our whole team to show up so I spent the morning setting up my monitor and mouse pad, playing a bit of overwatch and talking to people.

After lunch we had the usual studio meetings and got down to the dirty work of discussing game concepts. To make a long story short we are exploring an imbalance of power within cooperative gameplay. We will have one player in a VR headset that has a limited sense of vision, for example, only object outlines or only certain colors. A second player will have a traditional monitor and a top down view with full information. This player has to help the VR player toward an objective to recover there sight. The setting is a buried, subterranean city. The player slowly finds out why they're there and why it's buried over the course of the game. For art style we're going for stylised and are exploring 80s vaporwave, atompunk, and decopunk.

I'm really happy that this is the outcome as I think it will play to everyone's strengths within the group. This whole week delay is what I wanted to avoid by doing it in the holidays but I guess now that the rest of the group have made this mistake they'll be more inclined to prevent it next time. I just hope we have enough time to crank out a quality product. One week is a manageable delay but two is not. We have chewed too far into our margin for error.

  Tuesday

Turns out were actually doing rovers in a space cave, not some post human cyborg in an abandoned underground city. This is fine too. I am able to play with a stylized planet making tool that I bought on a whim at the end of last year which is super convenient. I set up a Trello board for the project. Everyone is researching again but for far more concrete things now we have a goal in sure site. This has also reenergized the team, certainly myself.

We had VIE this morning. I still don't have a group or project idea but I'm not feeling the pressure yet. There was more history of VR which was interesting but too much for my tired, early morning self to take in. There was a cool 1880s ish era 3d photo viewer that was passed around the class. The aircon was absolutely fridged.

I went to football for the first time properly since intermediate school. I gravitated to my old position, left defense. The muscle memory is still there but I've forgotten the finer rules of gameplay. It was fun though.

  Wednesday

Today we had a meeting with Ben to discuss our rover concept. He liked it a lot and suggested we do some physical playtests with blindfolds and an obstacle course. This was fun and we got some good data form it and got ideas for basic communication. I also met a friend from high school who was sitting near us and spectating.

Nathan played around with source control and made some progress, Xav and Rogan are working on redesigning our logo.

My laptop still flashes black every 1-2 minutes. I prepared a strongly worded email to pbtech that dad forwarded to pb and gigabyte. I would have liked to do it myself but I have better things to do.

  Thursday

I made a mars surface environment. I created a landscape, applied the nnLandscape material from project kowhai and tweeked the stone a bit. I then whiteboxed a basic rover shape and added the orange desert storm exponential height fog from one of my blade runner 2049 scenes.

    Friday

No entry recorded

[howtoadultatuni]

Week 2

Somebody told me that if you get past the first year in science it'll get easier from there on. Well har-de-har-ha! Have you seen these second year units???? Dear Lord. 

I have to admit, I was defensive when I first read the learning guides for my units for this semester (yes, you have to read your learning guides, for every unit you take, do it now, no, now). I had a look at some of the lecture material for the first week or so, and didn't recognise a word on the slides, regardless of having achieved HDs for the prereq units. I thought I was done for, even before I had started. 

And this, my dear partners in crime, is where you can decide if you're going to flourish or fail. 

If you start a hard sounding unit with the feeling of "oh crud I'm not going to make it", you're likely to meet your own expectation. Remember all the learning and coping mechanisms you learned last year? All the services like PASS, MESH, StudySmart etc. the uni offers? Not to mention all the peers you've made friends with, you don't have to do this alone! The biggest service you can do for yourself right now is starting next week with an "I can do this"-attitude, and I'll give you an example. 

When I studied for my B. Eng. I failed my maths units, miserably. I went in thinking I can't do this, it's too hard, there's no way I'll learn anything that's this difficult. And sure enough, the first go I tanked it. As you can probably imagine you do not graduate from an engineering course unless you pass your maths units, so back I went for round 2. I knew I had no choice if I wanted to graduate, and these were the last units left to study. I remained positive, and instead of giving up in class made questions when something wasn't clear. I thrived, and for the last unit, which I remember being hideously complex, I got a High Distinction. The lecturer (who had seen me fail and fail again) sent me an email with the final mark, and I nearly had it framed.

All this talk about positive thinking and mindfulness and ya-de-ya-de-yah doesn't exactly excite me, but this I'm convinced of. If you had a bad or nervous or insecure start to a unit last week go in again this week with an open mind; you can do this, other students have studied these same units million times over successfully.

Yes you can. If I could, you can.

Read last semester's Week 2 shenanigans here. 

What am I doing this week? 

First anatomy wet lab. YAY!

First meeting for a group assignment. Yay..?

Going to PASS because I'm going to more than pass

Weekly routine needs tweaking