#I’m writing soft RR scenes

[daydadahlias]

Character Analysis - WB Calum

So, a while ago, I did a semi-huge rant about Ashton’s character in Scene 14 that was really for no one but myself and my truck-sized ego. Although, I enjoyed writing that so much because I always like talking about my own writing process and the way I intend for things to come across, or the things I perhaps don’t mention in a fic but always know are there as the writer.

Behind-The-Scenes posts about fics are my favorite. And I wanna do that again!! Just because, y’know, it's my life and I can.

I’ve been thinking non-stop over the past few days about Calum’s character in Will Be and the way that several readers have interpreted him versus the way I intentionally wrote him. And I’d really like to blabber about that for a bit if it’s alright. Mostly it’s just for me, lol.

Character Analysis of Calum in Will Be

In terms of complex characters, WB Cal is probably one of the highest on my list. Not because his personality is especially dense; it’s not. He isn’t a very special character, by any means. He’s just a slutty everyday guy caught in the middle of several very fucked up situations keeping several very fucked up secrets to himself. But, his perception of events is what makes him more complex—or, at least, complex to read.

Now, as I’ve expressed, I had a lot of concerns about posting this fic initially. Lots of different reasons for that. Number one, the fucking content, Jesus Christ. This fic is fucked up, it’s dark, it doesn’t have a very happy ending, and half the time you just feel uncomfortable while reading. It was distressing to write and I was worried about what people would think of the fic itself, and me as a writer for writing it.

And the other big reason I didn’t want to post it was Calum himself.

As has been demonstrated through the way I tend to write romance (see RR, OO, TD etc) I’m very much into feelings and healthy relationships. And Will Be isn’t exactly painting a picture of a very healthy relationship, now is it?

It isn’t supposed to. It’s not the kind of fic where you’re meant to go, ‘oh, that’s a nice couple.’ Calum and Ashton are not a toxic relationship but for the beginning portions of the fic, I wouldn’t say they’re especially good together.

Calum actively watched Ashton get raped and refused to acknowledge it properly for about two months while he engaged in a sexual relationship with him. That’s pretty fucked up, y’all. And not only did he watch this event, he was a main perpetrator in it. He’s the one who brought Ashton back to his house.

Now, of course, we can make the argument of “well, he was confused; he didn’t know what he was doing; he didn’t mean for this to happen,” and I don’t think you’d be wrong in saying that at all, but I think it would be ignorant as a reader to not put some type of pressure on to Calum's actions.

We establish early on in this scene that Calum knows Ashton is wasted. And not the good kind of wasted. He gives so many indications that he knows Ashton isn’t in a good place (“[Ashton] has confusion spilled across his face, and it makes his eyes bigger. Calum doesn’t know why it’s the sort of look he wants to pity. But the guy looks upset, like his confusion is physically messing with him, and it makes Calum offer him a soft smile of consolation.”)

And Calum himself—because of Ashton’s inebriated state—has ceased any type of advancements he would have previously been making on him. We are introduced to Calum within the first two scenes as being an openly slutty guy, and has no shame in admitting that to himself in reference to Ashton: “The guy is fucking gorgeous. Calum wouldn’t mind walking over to him and pulling him in right now, slipping his hand in his pants and seeing if he’s really as much of a slut as Nate claims he is.”

But, because of the situation at hand—because Calum believes Ashton in some ways ‘belongs’ to Nate and is also shitfaced—he retracts all advancements.

We have the one moment in particular where he reaches to touch Ashton’s leg and then “when Ashton lets out a small groan, moving one of his hands to his skull [and complains about his headache, Calum] swiftly takes his hand away from Ashton’s leg” and gets him some advil.

By removing his hand from Ashton’s leg, he’s acknowledging that Ashton is in no position to be taken advantage of. While he’s having fun admiring Ashton, openly entertaining the thought of what he could perhaps be like in bed (“He could not imagine having Ashton under him. He wouldn’t know where to start.”), he makes no actual move on him.

And, yet, knowing all that, he still takes Ashton back to his house.

That doesn’t make him out to be the most likable guy, now does it? If he is acknowledging that it would be wrong for him to make any advancements on Ashton in this position, then why would he allow Nate—who he knows has all intention to fuck Ashton—access to Ashton in this state? Why does Calum take Ashton home? He obviously knows something’s wrong, and yet he does it anyway. So how can we make excuses for that?

Nate’s dialogue (let’s say a class shoutout to Nate for being the fourth grossest character I’ve ever written) to Calum is where the internal conflict comes into play.

“Calum keeps watching [Ashton] and his messy golden curls and flushed skin as Nate’s voice says into the phone, "Oh, c’mon, Cal. You saw how all over me he was tonight. Ask him if you want, he’ll want to come. Besides, you said it yourself, he’s fucking stoned. Where the hell else would you take him? His friends have gone and left him. He’ll be safer at your place than by himself.”

This is gaslighting, point-blank. Calum is very obviously being manipulated and, through the first scene we have with Nate and later mentions of his character, it should be deduced (should have been, maybe I did a shit job lol and it wasn’t) that he gaslights Cal a lot.

We establish early on that Nate and Calum have a sexual relationship (”His voice is a low hum as his eyes trace Calum's figure. “Think of all we could have done in fifteen minutes, Cal.”). They’re also very close friends and Calum trusts him inherently. Calum even admits to this (Nate bringing sexual partners to his home) being a rather regular occurrence. (“[Calum] reminds himself that drunk sex is normal and he’s heard Nate have sex in his house a hundred times, because Nate brings guys back to his house all the time because it's one of the few secluded safe spaces to be gay, so does Calum. His house is a goddamn den of iniquity.”)

Nate also—as is mentioned a couple of times—is the only person who knows about Michael and Calum’s situation. Calum never intentionally told Nate this information though (“The only other person that knows about him and Michael because Calum let it slip once when he was drunk.”)

This is when we get to the more Only-The-Writer-Knows kind of stuff. I always try to hint at things (so that way, when I allude to it, it doesn’t just come out of the blue), even if I don’t say it outright, and this is one of those moments.

We get a pretty good grasp during this fic that Nate’s actions this night were premeditated (already having the door unlocked, texting Sierra from Ashton’s phone, etc). The entire party the night this incident took place on was orchestrated by Nate himself with the specific intention of coercing Ashton to have sex with him.

And, we also get the hint that this is not the first time he’s done something like this:

“I’m not gonna kidnap him,” Nate complains, smoking his cigarette greedily as he talks. “I’m just gonna take him up to a guest room and I’m gonna take what I fucking deserve.”

“Gonna really suck if this guy isn’t into you,” Calum hums, getting the last tire off. “Get him up there, get your dick out, and he says, ‘oh, ew, not for me thanks.’ What’ll you do then?”

“Never happened before; never will. Cal,” Nate stresses.”

This line, while hypothetically a throw-away, provides the allusion that Nate is a serial rapist. In the way that every partner he has been intimate with is usually under an influence of some kind, whether that be drugs or alcohol.

We also get the knowledge that Calum is one of these partners. It’s a very brief line, and not meant to be truly noticed, but in a scene with Michael in chapter 3, we have this exchange:

“You have drunk sex all the time,” Michael says, still confused but like he’s trying to console because he can sense that Calum isn’t happy. “Especially with Roy. And that one time with Nate, remember? God, what did you even take that night; you were a mess.”

Calum lets out a breath of smoke. He shakes his head, crinkling his nose. “I don’t know. Something shitty. It’s nothing.”

That’s an indicator for you as a reader (albeit small and hidden among other dialogue) that Nate has drugged Calum before, and Calum’s not aware of it.

While that exchange happens later in the fic, it should provide some influence on the perspective of chapter one now and The Car Scene a little bit more.

Because Calum doesn’t know Ashton, right? Ashton—to him—is just the hot guy who Nate has been saying wants to fuck him. And Calum has been watching Ashton all night, pressing up against Nate, letting himself be dragged around, and so he has that inherent nagging in the back of his head that goes, "oh, well obviously he wants this."

It’s a reflection of himself in a lot of ways; he has been the guy in Ashton’s position who’s woken up in someone else’s bed after a rough night with hazy memories (“Calum is reminded of himself. All the nights he’s woken up in someone else’s bed and couldn’t help but snort because there was nothing else he could do.”)

Although, in contrast to Ashton, Calum has known Nate for a long time and frequently has sex when drunk, and does not say no. Still though, I have to point out, that fucking someone when they're incoherent is Not Okay.

On top of that subliminal connection, Calum is also being manipulated.

For instance, when Nate says, “Goddammit, Cal, you had one fucking job tonight and you didn’t do it. This is your chance to fix it. Can’t you do anything right?” it has a direct impact on Calum. Great example of gaslighting; someone who is frequently in a position of power over Calum using that to make him feel weaker and indebted to Nate.

We establish, through that scene with Michael, the first scene in the garage, and this exchange where Nate says, after Calum threatens to accuse him, “Because the second you try this, I’m telling everyone. And I’ll tell them how you let me fuck you too, you dumb slut. Everyone’s gonna fucking know all you’re good for is filling holes and being filled. Don’t think for a second you’re anything more,” that Nate tops him. Now, while bottoming is not even remotely an inherently submissive action, it is to Nate. Nate is implied to be the classic homophobic as shit archetype that goes, ‘because I top guys, I’m the alpha.' (See chapter 5: “He’s nothing but a hole to guys like us, Cal; don’t pretend you think differently.”)

Calum, as a character, is not highly valued by people. Michael hides him because he’s a dirty secret, Roy doesn’t know so much as his middle name because they’re just fun fuck buddies, his dad is a shit head (which isn’t really touched on but vaguely alluded to in his absence and bitchiness over the phone in chapter 1).

Nate is one of the few people in Calum’s life who gives him attention and gives him purpose. By Nate inviting Calum to come “hunt” Ashton with him, he was inherently providing him a necessary job and that, by extension, makes Calum feel wanted.

Now, back to the night at hand, and why Calum makes the ultimate mistake of taking Ashton home.

Not only is he being manipulated by one of the few people in his life that gives him the time of day, he’s also being inherently threatened. This right here: “I’ll meet you at your house,” Nate says. There’s not room for an argument. “And you better fucking have company,” is a threat.

Nate is the only person who knows about Calum and Michael—because he got Calum drunk enough to reveal it to him.

So with that hanging over his head, and the underlying expectation and belief that Ashton has been all over Nate all night and is probably eager to be with him (even though, in actuality, Ashton is just there for a brief, good time), Calum takes him home.

We do have the moment of anxiety from Calum, in which he thinks perhaps he should ask Ashton himself about his wants: “Calum says to him in a low voice, leaning between the seats, “If you tell me where you live, I can take you home.”

Ashton’s brow creases, thrown off. “Huh?”

“If you tell me where you live,” Caum says again, more pronounced, “and you want to go home, I will take you home.”

I can say, as the writer—with full confidence—that if Ashton had given over his address fast enough, or shown any indication that he was uncomfortable, that Calum would have put that shit in reverse and taken him back to his dorm. But, as of current, he has several conflicting viewpoints in his mind. And I can’t help but point out, he doesn’t know Ashton personally.

He perceives Ashton that night—as he mentions multiple times—in reference to Nate as being “his lawyer.” Calum has a perception of Ashton in which Nate has been trying to fuck him, and Ashton has been readily allowing Nate access to him (ie. the groping moment at the party).

And Ashton exhibits no inherent concern in this moment when he gets out of the car. He does not express that he is worried, that he is in danger at all (because in Ashton’s perspective, he’s not in any). While this doesn’t ease Calum’s mind by any extent, it provides him the excuse to not think anything is severely wrong here.

The entire first chapter is Calum trying to make excuses for the event, and the rest of the fic is him trying to convince himself the excuses still apply.

He does feel it though, subconsciously. Which is why he leaves the house and takes a quick drive. Of course, we learn later in the fic through The Couch Scene that during the fifteen minutes Calum loops around the block, Nate gets Ashton in bed, it finally occurs to Ashton what’s happening to him, and he tells Nate no, which Nate disregards.

Calum comes back to the house after this and—in one of the most horrifying scenes I’ve ever written that did give me nightmares—listens to Ashton get raped in his guest room without actually “knowing” it’s rape. And then, of course, watches it and gets hard.

Calum getting turned on by this moment is another of the biggest emotional blocks he has for the rest of the fic. Because, if he admits to himself that it’s a rape, he will also have to acknowledge the fact that he let this happen to someone he cares about, and that he got turned on by it.

The rest of the fic is about the residual and lasting guilt from the situation, and the reasoning with self that, ‘no, no there’s nothing off about this; that was drunk sex and drunk sex is normal; I have drunk sex all the time; nothing bad here, so sir,’ when we all know as an audience that something’s very much wrong.

Calum knows it too. Not for sure, of course, because he doesn’t want to confront that side of himself, but deep down he knows.

Here’s where we get into the tricky morality of this situation. Why doesn’t Calum admit it’s rape, even after he realizes Ashton doesn’t remember anything? Why does he try so desperately to push it aside and make excuses for it? Obviously, he knows something’s wrong; he’s friends with Nate and yet refuses to answer his calls for the next month and a half. Why would he do that if everything was okay?

This is when I get personal, folks.

Why does he deny it so desperately? To answer that, I ask you another question: have you ever been friends with a rapist? I have. And it’s not an easy thing for your conscience.

I had a friend who ended up getting drunk at a party and assaulting another kid I knew in his sleep. And when you find something like that out, it fucks with your head because I knew both these kids, right? And I was genuine friends with the assaulter, and to hear he did something like that altered my worldview a bit.

I’m not friends with him anymore, but there were a few weeks after the accusation came out that he kept trying to explain the situation to me, and to make amends. And it was confusing for me: I was a freshman in high school at this time, he was older, so I was young and freaked out and stressed because I didn’t know if I was automatically supposed to dissociate myself with this guy who’d been my friend for the last year.

Calum’s going through that (far more heavily than I was though, geez) same back and forth with his own thoughts. Because Nate is, by all standards, his friend. And, to add an extra layer of fuckery, Nate and he have frequent sex. So it is a genuinely horrifying fucking thought that a man who Calum has let have access to his body, his secrets, his entire fucking person, could do something so vile to another human being. Especially something like that to someone like Ashton, who ends up being such an important person to Calum later in the story.

A brief sideline to Ashton, who—by design—is the only character in this story a reader is supposed to truly align with.

You can align with any other character if you want to (you can think Calum is a sympathetic character, you can side with Michael and think Calum is ruining him), but Ashton is the only one we know for sure isn’t the problem here.

I think, in terms of most heart-wrenching shit I’ve ever written, those small moments when Calum and Ashton are intimate together and Calum realizes it’s different are the worst. Because they make Calum so much more desperate to make sense of the situation.

And, now, here’s where we get into the thick of it. I had a couple of people under the impression that Calum doesn’t tell Ashton about what he saw in order to protect Ashton.

And, while I’m down for you to analyze the story any way you want (author intention versus audience perception here, babes, I ain’t got a say in it) that was not the plan. Calum is 100% protecting himself.

Calum is established to be a selfish as fuck character. We get that through just about every interaction with Michael (“So what if Calum’s always the one who comes back first? Michael’s the one who lets him in.”). And also, we can’t fucking forget how fast he lets Ashton offer himself.

On that note, though, it's crucial to note that Calum at no point initiates anything with Ashton first. He is hell-bent on getting Ashton’s explicit, sober consent because he’s terrified of raping him. I mean, that’s what it boils down to. Calum got turned on that night, and he is into bondage, which is a practice that requires serious trust in a partner. He is extremely careful with Ashton throughout the story.

Why does he let Ashton in so easily though? There’s a lot to be said about the parallels between Michael and Ashton; the fact that Calum is so often saying, ‘well, Mike lets me in first therefore I’m not at fault’ while he is letting Ashton in so easily. It’s the irony of that.

I can say with the firmest belief that no matter how attractive Calum finds Ashton, he wouldn’t have at any point advanced on him if Ashton hadn’t been the one to propose it. Ashton is the one who asks to suck Calum off in chapter 2, he’s the one who climbs into the backseat in chapter 3, he goes ahead and ties himself up in chapter 4. As dominant as Calum is in bed, Ashton is without a shadow of a doubt the one with the most power in the relationship. Ashton gets first say in everything.

(Lil side tangent to Ashton again, because geez I could write so much about him; he gets control through giving it up, if that makes sense. By allowing Calum power, he is still in control of his own)

I can say that there’s a reason Calum doesn’t have more reservations for jumping into things with Ashton. Because, Calum likes Ashton, thinks he’s hot, wants to fuck him; so if Ashton readily invites Calum to, and he doesn’t, would that not be admitting that something happened that night?

If Calum were to turn Ashton’s first advancement down, that would have been him admitting to something being overtly wrong that night, and he doesn’t want to do that. If it was just “a normal drunk fuck” then Calum should have no problems being intimate with a random hot guy, right?

Granted, we get a lot of moments during sex where Calum realizes how fucked up what he’s doing is. These sex scenes, to you as a reader, are not supposed to be fun scenes. The intended feeling is for you to feel conflicted, the same as Calum is. Because while it’s a sexually arousing action, there’s still that undercurrent of guilt that dominates it. The scenes should be uncomfortable. While I want you to think these scenes are hot, I want you to be hesitant to think that.

Because Calum will have moments where he’s getting into it, and he’s forgetting everything and then we’ll have a line like, “There’s a sudden reminder in the back of Calum’s head of hearing sounds from Ashton before. Of hearing Ashton in his guest bedroom. And that would be all well and good if the sounds weren’t different now.

These sighs are less… pained, almost, their inflection less stifled, and the thought makes Calum’s body stiffen, a hard frown beginning to form.”

Or, “He thinks about seeing Ashton in his guest bedroom. Thinks about Ashton’s body being jostled back and forth when Nate moved into him. Ashton’s pink fingernails clawing at the sheets beneath him, trying to get a feasible hold on something. Ashton’s head dipped to the bedspread with his mouth hung open as whines slipped out. The desperation in them. The panic.”

Calum knows something isn’t right here. And you, as a reader, can take that two ways. Either Calum is a selfish ignorant fuck who refuses to own up to the pain he's caused, or he’s a good person who’s conflicted and terrified of being someone at fault for something bad happening to someone he loves.

I just found it interesting while reading comments and talking about this fic that people viewed him in such contrasting ways. I'll be upfront in saying I didn't expect people to truly like Calum. I have to be honest in saying that I think a lot of the instant alignment with him as a character comes from the fact that he is, you know, Calum, and because this is a fanfiction of a previously established character, you have an automatic association with him and desire to see the best in his choices.

I think that by taking Ashton home, and waiting so long to admit the situation, even when he knew, was a bad thing to do. But I don’t think WB Calum is a bad person. He worries so much that he is one, and he expresses readily to Ashton in the final chapter that what he did is horrible and he doesn't know how to seek forgiveness for that.

I think that, a lot of times, people are witness to things they can’t wrap their heads around, and inadvertently make mistakes because of how they attempt to deal. WB Calum is traumatized from this event. He's going to wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat after nightmares. It's gonna take serious time for him to ever forgive himself, even after Ashton already has.

And I think Ashton and he have a lot of potential to be a very happy, very safe couple moving forward with their lives, as long as they do a lot of open communication. I do firmly believe that if Calum had been there for those first fifteen minutes that night and heard Ashton protest, he would have rocked Nate’s shit. And, after becoming so close with Ashton, I think if he could get away with it, Calum would genuinely kill Nate for what he did. I don't think his threats in chapter 5 at the body shop were in any way exaggerated.

Calum is a reader’s character, if that makes sense. You can either completely sympathize with him and the pain his mind is going through trying to piece this together, or you could blame him for what happened to Ashton, and I don’t think either of those perceptions would be incorrect. I think that’s what makes him such a complex character.

And, it makes it important this story was told from his perspective.

To wrap this up, though, I do have to leave you with this: from a legal point of view (which I purposefully left out of the Mock Trial scene because it got too long and too intense already), Calum is one hundred percent an accessory to rape in this fic.

So, if they were to accuse Nate of rape and he ended up being found guilty (which, he wouldn't, if we're honest), Calum would also get a sentence. No case is black and white, and there are so many ways to tell the same story, and so many sides to consider. It's insane.

Anyway, thank you for reading if you did; I don't know why. I just talked for too long about my own goddamn story. <3

[imaginedhaven]

LAST for RoE

POV for RR 😊

LAST for Rules of Engagement:

...hahaha, that would be the last two sentences of the last update. I haven’t progressed further in it yet, since I’ve been writing a Yulemas oneshot that has TAKEN OVER MY LIFE y’all get ready for 10,000 words of bittersweet pining with an eventual happy ending. (For the Swifties in the fandom, as I’m sure you all know writing it to evermore and folklore... may have been a mistake!) As a refresher, though, those last two sentences:

She was Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, and she had a crown to win. She would not be afraid.

POV for Reluctantly Rooming:

LOL You guys REALLY want to know what on earth our bird boy is thinking, don’t you? Let’s see, I’ve already given y’all the broken ankle scene... What about the dancing from last update? I’m sure that’s what you all want to see anyway!

Rowan jerked awake to the sound of music playing through the tinny speaker of a phone and a rustling in the kitchen. Fuck, he’d fallen asleep on his desk, and he couldn’t even be sure how late it was. Very late, if Aelin was home to be making those noises.

Hands scrubbing over his face in an attempt to wake up just a little bit more, he stalked toward the kitchen to investigate, only to stop in his tracks when he saw her.

She was still in the buttoned shirt and dark slacks that made up her uniform for her job, though the buttons had been opened to reveal a dark form-fitting undershirt. She was digging in the cabinets, clearly searching for something, but as she worked her hips were moving back and forth with the beat of the song that played from what was likely her own phone.

As he quietly watched, she let out a soft happy noise and emerged from the cabinet, a bar of chocolate clutched in her hand. Ah. So she’d managed to bring more snacks into the house without him knowing about it, and put them somewhere they didn’t belong. She brought the chocolate to her lips, and he already knew both what would come next and that he was not sufficiently awake to handle her eating chocolate right now. Instead, he cleared his throat and asked a question that made her whirl around to face him, eyes wide. “What are you doing?”

[ljandersen]

4, 5, 10, 11, 34 for the writer’s ask game!!!

Thank you so much for the questions!  I love discuss writing.  This is from the writer’s ask.

4.   Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

I haven’t been published, but I’d like to be one day.  I always thought I’d go the route of query letters and finding an agent.  Being traditionally published seemed more reputable.  However, after researching it, I’ve found traditional modern-day publishing still requires a lot of self-marketing, which was my biggest incentive in going traditional.  I’ve decided to go the indie route after weighing the pro’s and con’s. I’ll do it eventually.  

For now, I’m enjoying fanfiction, which is just as valuable and real as “original” fiction in my eyes.  I’ve actually been a bit irked by “original” writers who act pretentious and look down on fanfiction. 

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

It varies.  On weekdays, because I’m working, I don’t get much done.  On weekends, if I have the day to myself, I’ll spend all day writing.  I enjoy writing, and I’d rather do that than watch TV or a lot of other solitary activities.  

10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

Not really.  “Sideways” took a long time to write.  After I posted “About Mars . . .” I decided to finish writing “Sideways” once and for all.  The story naturally split into parts.  I realized that by editing by sections, I could start posting sooner.  I needed the achievement of finally posting, or I knew the project was going to be too overwhelming to ever finish.  September seemed a reasonable timeframe for posting and ended up being a good estimation.  I guess, overall, I don’t have deadlines per say, but I make estimates and set soft goals.  

If I set too many rules on my writing, it ceases to be an escape for me.  I work a job where checking in at 0701 instead of 0700 more than three times in a 90 day rolling period will get your written up.  The last thing I want is exacting, arbitrary, meaningless rules set by myself on something I love.  That’s why I keep my writing flexible and fluid with goals.

11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

I enjoy Brandon Sanderson, George RR Martin, and a few other fantasy writers.  For the most part, though, I enjoy individual stories.  A lot of stories I love don’t have sequels I enjoy.  The author’s other books don’t resonate with me.  It’s as valuable to me to look at the stories that do work as is it to look at the stories that should work and don’t.  

For instance, I love “The Lies of Locke Lamora” by Scott Lynch.  I don’t like the next book so much I dropped the series and have no interest in following the writer.  It’s not that it was offensive, merely illogical, aimless, and boring.  I can look at both stories and exactly say what made me love the first book and what made me dislike the second one.  I think both books influence me by knowing what I want to write and what I want to avoid.  A story needs to be satisfying, and it takes work to get it there.

34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

It’s always a long action set.  There’s a long action set in part 4 of “Sideways” that was a challenge for the scope, length, and complexity.  I found a way to make it more interesting to me personally by a character-related issue, and now I enjoy the set as my own reader.  I wouldn’t want to write it again, but I like how it turned out.  Chapter 1 of “Sideways” was also difficult, because it had so many requirements that conflicted and had to fit in a small space.

Thank you for the ask!!!

[saundraswriting]

Hercules Chapter Five

SUMMARY:After a decent night's rest the BAU returns early to another dead teenager and more evidence. J.J. gets her explanation but is not pleased. Spencer pushes himself harder to try to find anything to help solve this case. In a fit of hopelessness Spencer asks Morgan to look at the map. With the breakthrough Spencer has a lot to connect.

WARNINGS: Spencer gets snippy cause he is tired. None really. Abuse of caffeine?

Previous // Next

Spencer woke to the sound of rushing water. He flailed awake and took a moment to get his bearings, he didn't remember falling asleep. He remembered being sent home and Morgan all but dragging him to the car. 'Morgan must be in the shower.' Spencer realized, stretching like a cat making a sinful noise in the back of his throat. 'I must have needed the sleep.' Spencer rolled out of bed and looked in the vanity mirror. His cover-up was still mostly intact, so he began picking out his clothes for the day.

"I'm going to be thinking hard-and pacing and writing. So let's forgo the waistcoat and just wear the purple shirt and black slacks." Spencer muttered to himself.

"You know talking to yourself is sign of insanity." Morgan teased. Spencer turned to reply. and froze. Morgan was wearing a pair of jeans. barefoot and shirtless-Spencer didn't know where to put his eyes.

Spencer didn't have a foot fetish but he couldn't help but drool a little over Morgan's bare feet- they were large and strong looking, like the rest of him-better than drooling over his well developed abs and pecs. Spencer could see a hint of their matching soul-mark and felt a pang in his gut. Spencer looked away to hide any expression on his face. When he looked back to Morgan's face, he'd pulled on a shirt and his cheeks were slightly darker than normal.

"I've never seen you barefoot before. It is a slightly disconcerting sight. Are you done in the bathroom?" Spencer felt a nervous thrumming under his skin, Derek's mark had drawn his gaze almost instantly. Spencer was hoping he hadn't given anything away. He was fidgety from ignoring the urge to touch it, to cross the last few feet of space between them.

"Yeah. I am done. Go ahead." Morgan folded his sleep clothes and put them back in his bag.

Spencer quickly dressed, covered his mark and gathered his things. Spencer handed Morgan's clothes back with a soft thank you. They left and were back at the station quicker than desired. " I'm gonna work with the maps, maybe the pattern deals with a category of places." Spencer made himself a cup of coffee while talking aloud.

Morgan passed him a bag of sugar. "Here, I got you this yesterday. Pass me a mug please?" He made his coffee and they walked into the bullpen.

Spencer made to head into his map room and Morgan followed.

Spencer traced the drawn out lines lightly with his fingers, talking to himself under his breath. "Are these the same? No? How about going in this direction? What made him choose these places to kill and dump?" Spencer stopped to cough. It was deep and thick and long. "Maybe drawing them in a different order? Connecting the dump sites to dump sites..."He trailed off, eyes closed and fingers twitching. Morgan pursed his lips in worry. He could see Spencer driving himself into the ground about this but Morgan knew there was nothing he could do to help. "Morgan! Can you come here?" Gideon waved him over. Morgan pushed off the door frame he was leaning against and walked over.

"Hotch and I are going to hit the field-with the recent body found-We have to dig something up from Blaine. J.J. is handling the press and locals. Morgan, I need you to please keep an eye out for Reid. He is pushing hard. He is going to crash. He needs some food. He isn't sleeping enough either." Gideon said. Morgan nodded. The older agents left with a nod. Morgan pulled a young uniform to the side. He handed him some cash and told him a very specific breakfast order.

“Spence, Breakfast will be here in like 45 minutes. We can look at this better with full bellies and fresh eyes." Morgan looked into the room to see Spencer looking at crime scene photo and locations on his map. Spencer waved at the door absentmindedly. Morgan only huffed in displeasure.

"Hey, Agent Morgan, we just found another body, RR on the right heel." One of the LEO's stood in the doorway.

" So murders on Saturday and Sunday. The end of the week and the start of the next, death and rebirth, old and new. No rhyme or reason to the victims or M.O. No discernible pattern to the locales either....Maybe the pattern is there isn't a pattern at all. This is just his learning stage, but then why sign the heel? This can't be a typical fantasy-satisfying killer. Could it be they all wronged him-is this revenge? Plain and simple? Is he getting back at parents, family?" Reid grabbed Ophelia and closed his eyes.

"Reid, hey, we have another body. I'm going to look at the scene. Forensics is looking for the kill site based off preliminary data. Evidence will be pouring in-can you go through it to find anything relevant" Morgan asked getting ready to go.

"Yes, Morgan. I can handle it." Spencer grinned. Morgan felt his stomach drop, the smile was boxy and strained. Spencer was putting on a façade, a weak one.

"Go, Morgan. You're needed. I'm more help here-me and my big ol' brain." Spencer's joke fell flat. Morgan cupped Spencer's face in his hands, pressing their foreheads together. Spencer could feel Morgan's breath on his lips. His heart pounded and palms grew sweaty at the closeness.

"No. Your brain is not your only good quality. You are so much more than your brain." Morgan practically snarled. Spencer felt his breath catch. Morgan looked ready to go to war, ready to make Spencer believe him. Spencer knew his best friend well enough to know that Morgan wasn't really mad at him but for him. He was angry at all the people that made Spencer feel this way.

"Okay, Morgan, I'm more than my brain." Spencer's grin was brighter than the sun and made Morgan's chest loosen. His stomach returned to its proper placement. "Now, go. I've got this handled."

Morgan left and shortly after the food he'd ordered arrived. "Agent Dr. Reid? Agent Morgan had me deliver this for the two of you, but he left...?" The LEO held up two bags. Spencer sighed and grabbed the bags thanking him. He opened them and gave a solitary chuckle. A Eggs Benedict and Banana Nut Muffin with a side of blueberries was in one of the bags for Spencer and the other held pancakes and omelet for Morgan. Spencer placed the second bag in the fridge and settle down to eat his food. The LEO came back with a carton in his hand. "Doctor! This too." It was a mix of orange and tropical fruit juice.

'Derek Morgan, I don't deserve you as a friend, let alone a soulmate.' He thought solemnly. He was eating his breakfast alone when a familiar voice interrupted him.

"Oh, does that look good or what! How did you get it?" J.J sat down graceful as always throwing Reid the stink eye. "Morgan arranged it. He left to do a body thing." Reid said fiddling with his half-empty glass of juice.

"Come on, Spence, let's go talk. I know your itching to get to your map." J.J pulled him along to his map room. "Okay, Doctor Reid, Mr. Genius, tell me your woes." J.J toed off her heels, sighing as she sat in an empty chair. Spencer sighed and leaned against the table.

"I found out 9 months ago that Derek was my match. I saw it when he was changing the bandage on the cut on his cheek from that Pedophile case. He had tilted his head and his mark was there-barely hidden by his shirt. I panicked and left for two days. I had arrangements made to leave, permanently. I didn't know what to do. We'd been best friends for years! How was I supposed to act? How was I supposed to feel?" Spencer took a breath, fingers pressed into his temples. "I'd fallen in love with him over the years. He sees me, not only my brain, not only my degrees, not only my quirks, but me. He accepts me and my brain and my degrees and my quirks. He has saved me, he has protected me he has rescued me. He cares for me. Derek Morgan is my best friend. My. Best. Friend. I knew seeing his mark that I loved my soulmate for him, not just as my match but my soulmate. But Morgan doesn't." Spencer wrapped his arms around himself. "I refuse to reveal this and have him feel obligated to me. Morgan would give up his future happiness to be with me, he is too good. He is straight, let him find someone he loves, someone who doesn't remind of the horrors we live through. Let him find someone who loves hi,, someone who makes him happy and someone he can make happy. Someone who can help the memories fade away. Not me-I'm not what he deserves." Spencer paced the length of the room breathing quickly.

"Spencer Reid! How dare you take that choice away from him. He is your soulmate! You are his too! How dare you choose who will bring him happiness for him!" J.J. demanded.

"J.J, I am giving him an out, a choice, to find someone he loves and deserves. Someone who brings him happiness, peace, safety, when he walks through the door. Someone for who Morgan wouldn't have to change for. I AM NOT THAT PERSON J.J.!" Spencer yelled. He froze instantly. "I'm-I'm sorry, J.J. I just... I am not that someone and I never will be." He finished quietly.

J.J stood  silent as a mouse, tears brimming in her eyes. She couldn't imagine the pain Spencer was putting himself through. "You are wrong. For once in your life. You. Are. Wrong...  You both deserve this and everything that comes with finding you soulmate." J.J. said vehemently. She left in a swish off her skirt and flash off blonde hair, leaving her shoes behind.

Spencer sighed and leaned back against a wall, thumping his head several times.

When Morgan returned from the crime scene several hours later, Gideon and Hotchner were still out interviewing suspects and families, it was to absolute silence. His breakfast was in the fridge, J.J.'s heels were outside the door to Spencer's room, and a few tables covered in bagged evidence.

"Hey! Someone want to fill me in, now, please?" Derek demanded. He glared at the loitering uniforms who were actively avoiding his gaze.

Matthew stepped forward . "I can. Dr. Reid and Agent Jareau sat down to talk in the map room but by the end they were yelling at each other, or rather talking loudly. Agent Jareau must have left her shoes there when she left the room. They were arguing about a 'him' and soulmarks. Since this morning about half an hour after you left, Dr. Reid has been cooped up pardon the few minutes he took to glance through the evidence. and get coffee. Agent Jareau has ben entertaining the press most of the day." Matthew was chewing his lip. "That is everything I know, agent Morgan." Morgan thanked Matthew even though he didn't particularly like him and sent him off. Morgan glanced back at the door and sighed staring intently.

"Do we have a master key?  Or a key to this room specifically?" Morgan's questioning tone didn't hold room for refusal. A moment later a single golden key sat in Morgan's palm. He unlocked the door a trickle of apprehension running down his spine. A angry Spencer wasn't something to be trifled with, or an upset one, but can't be left alone either. He entered quietly but saw his caution was unnecessary because Spencer was too bus sucking down coffee and glaring at the walls.

"God damn it. How am I missing this? I need more coffee. Garcia! Do you have anything?" Spencer barked. His hair was a mess and his shirt was wrinkled.

"No, not yet. I'm trying Spencer. Calm down. Look at the big picture not the little details. We want to see not immediate family and jail time. How far are we going, Spencer?" Garcia sounded frantic-keystrokes coming through the speaker, sounding like gunshots.

"Aunts, Uncles, and first cousins to maybe third. Let me know, as soon as you get a hit." Spencer made to hang up but paused. "Garcia. Thank you." Spencer apologized.

"Anything for you, boy genius. Not a problem. Talk later." Garcia hung up. Spencer ran his hands through his hair a few times mussing it even further.

Morgan gave him a second to put himself back together again. "Pretty Boy!" Derek growled from behind gritted teeth.

Spencer froze instantly. He turned to face Morgan and shrunk in on himself. He took a few steps back, eyes wide and bouncing from Morgan and back again, chest rising and falling faster than a hummingbird's. "M-M-Morgan! What are you doing back so soon?" Spencer voice trailed off hearing the absurdity of his statement.  He was trembling whether from exhaustion or panic Morgan wasn't sure.

"I am trying to help you. But every time I turn around your pushing harder and harder without caution for your own wellbeing." Morgan gesture encompassed the whole room. "Let me help you. What do you need from me?"

"Morgan, I think I am missing a key point but I don't know. Maybe with one more victim...but I don't want one more victim. There is no way these murders are impulsive. I need to decode the messages and journal from Blaine if he has one. Your fresher eyes on the map might be helpful." Spencer waved at it absentmindedly searching for the coded messages coughing into his elbow.

"Okay, kid. I'll take a look." Morgan looked at the key and then the map. It just looked like a mash of lines. Morgan squinted and purposefully unfocused his eyes. The dump sites formed the outline of a man almost. The lines formed a triangle and two lines continued to the left and right to form almost right angles. The head and shoulders of a man.

"It's the same code. He has a date and a place in here. Thursday the 5th at 6:45pm warehouse 13 off Constantine St. So we have the newest meeting date for the Religious Revolutions." Spencer bounded excitedly on the balls of his feet. He spoke a tad faster than Morgan could keep up so he patiently waited.

"Do you see the image on the map? The dump sites almost for the head and shoulders of a man? The gatherings are about Greek Gods and Goddesses? Is there a myth-?" Spencer loud curse broke his train of thought. Morgan stopped again.

"What. The. Fuck. Are you saying? Wait...Leonard means Lion, Ophelia means Serpent, Tabitha was Gazelle and Everette is Boar...Morgan!1 Morgan! The fantasy is he is playing Hercules. Hercules was the illegitimate son of Zeus and a mortal woman. Hera grew jealous and cursed the son to kill his wife and children. To appease the gods and earn back their favor to avoid Tartarus, Hercules had to complete the 12 labors of Hercules. Our usub was born of an affair and some how was the cause of the death of his wife and kids. In the chaos of putting his life back together he was 'told' to atone of his sins he must complete the 12 greatest labors?" Spencer was talking so fast his words they were almost unintelligible pacing just as fast.  "I need records of marriages 25-30 years ag and birth certificates. And incidents involving husbands, wives and children. I should be able to match them some way. How do we do this, Morgan?" Spencer stopped pacing facing Morgan.

"I'm not sure. But we can do it. You and me and the others. WE are the Behavioral Analysis Unit. We'll get him one way or another. When Hotch and Gideon come back we can regroup and go from there. Why don't you go take a nap somewhere? We had an early start and you had a intense day. Chief Yates said there was couch we could use in the lounge." Morgan grabbed Spencer elbow and guided him the aforementioned couch.

Spencer wanted to protest but was cut off by several sneezes and a coughing fit. 'I can't be sick. Maybe a nap will put me back to sorts.' Spencer laid down and Morgan threw a blanket over him. Spencer settled in a second.

"Sleep well, Pretty Boy." Morgan murmured in his ear, dropping a light kiss on his temple. Spencer shifted deeper into the couch and Morgan noticed his breathing was already slow and rhythmic.

Morgan headed to the bullpen and grabbed J.J's shoes. He then went and found the woman in question. "Hey, J.J. You're gonna need these. Spencer had a massive breakthrough. We have more to work with and more to add to the profile. What about Gideon and Hotch?" Morgan  handed over the heels.

"He finally did huh? Good. We can get this case done. They should be here soon. I think Hotch said Blaine was emancipated at 15. What about you?" J.J. put her shoes on and pulled her hair up into a professional looking clip.

"She was hacked to death. Not much to go on. The dump site was near a stabling office." Morgan said. "They stable horses for those without the space but have money to own one. They take care of feeding and sheltering the horse but it is legally yours. This was just the office, the property is outside the city a bit." Morgan further explained at her confused look.

"Hey, we're back. Fill us in,k Reid." Hotch said as he entered.

"He is taking a nap, Hotch. He needed some sleep." Morgan started with nodding towards the map room. The went in and Morgan explained everything since this morning. The breakdown and breakthrough.

"Okay, Morgan, sounds good. we can release all this in the morning. Let Spencer sleep like another hour and then we can go through some of the evidence and redo the profile and go through the necessary files. I'll call Garcia and see if she can help, and ask a few techies here too." Hotch  said. Gideon told the desk Sargent to tell everyone to start their next shift at the barracks to get updated. Morgan stole a desk and propped up his feet to catch a cat-nap.

Morgan stirred awake 45 minutes later-feeling refreshed and energized-unsure of what woke him. A noise interrupted his searching, stifled laughter of several people, the noise was what woke him. It was coming from the lounge. 'Where Reid was sleeping.' Morgan realized. He hurried over and saw Thomas and his buddies standing around Reid on the couch trying not to laugh too hard. Morgan crept closer, quiet as a panther. He tapped Thomas' arm relishing in the scared flinch when he saw the murderous intent in Morgan's eyes.

"A-ag-Agent Morgan! What brings you here? Thomas smirked, trying to look like the cat who ate the canary but falling a little short.

"The fact that you are tormenting my teammate and best friend by writing on his face in sharpie. Come on you three before I lose my temper. You are going home." Morgan said fiercely.

"You don't have the authority to send us home. You aren't our boss. We don't have to listen to you." Thomas said smirk growing. "Besides, you of everyone in the BAU should understand. You're the jock, the Alpha, the ladies' man, it should be written into your DNA to pick on him."

"No. Spencer is amazing. He has a bigger brain but a bigger heart and he has done things that I would hesitate to do. He took down 2 armed unsubs and faced a man with a dead-man's switch. Spencer puts himself last because he was wrongly treated that way. He went through high school at the age of 12, facing people like you with no help. Do I feel the desire to remind him of what he has overcame? No, because friends don't do that. If anything, I respect Spencer. I wish I could be more like him-brave, honest, loving. Now, go home before I make you.

"You can't." Thomas finally lost his smirk.

"No. But I can. 3 of you, no pay, two weeks." Chief Yates ordered. The volume of his voice woke Spencer-who jolted awake, yelping when his hand hit the back of the couch. The terrible trio shot Derek a glare and stormed off. Yates followed them. 

"Come on, lets get you cleaned up." Morgan helped him off the couch but Spencer shook his head. "No thanks, Morgan. I can get it by myself. Can you see if there is any progress on the stuff I need? And a coffee, please?" Spencer looked up at Morgan from under his eyelashes. With his clothes rumpled, bed-head and a sleep drenched voice Morgan could only nod his head and watch as Spencer walked off. Morgan was forced to think of dead puppies to stop the rush of blood heading south.

When calm again Morgan talked to Gideon and Hotch about what happened and Reid's stuff, starting coffee too. Hotch motioned to the pile of boxes where the bagged evidence was and Morgan groaned.

Spencer came out of the bathroom face cleaned and clothes straightened. He made a cup of coffee and came over to the table. "Thanks for the nap. I'm going to start reading these. You guys should head to the hotel and sleep. I can handle this." Spencer said.

"Nope, I am helping you or we start tomorrow. I know you read the fastest but you need some help. J.J. has a press conference on for tomorrow. We got this. Together." Morgan looked Spencer in eye and he was comforted by the confidence in the stare. Spencer closed his eyes and Morgan was stunned by the determination and passion that lit them up.

"I am very ready. Let's read, and find this guy." Morgan nodded and ripped open a box.

Previous // Next

*******************************************************************************************

Chapter 5 is up and running. Spencer and Derek are getting heated. The next chapter is a personal favorite. 

[laraslandlockedblues]

Writer Process Meme

Tagged by @jonogueira @inuy21 and @princessvicky01, thank you lovelies!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Mostly novels, some short stories (I seem to have a problem writing anything short...whoops!) Poems tend to have too many rules for my style. Whenever I do write poetry it definitely shows off my chaotic neutral side, haha.

What genre do you prefer reading?

Any kind of fiction, really. I’m a sucker for classics, have a soft spot for historical romances, (Fun Fact: I’m actually related to Kathleen E Woodiwiss) and like mysteries and fantasy if they’re well done. But even any sort of general fiction - just give me beautiful words, complex characters, and an interesting plot and I’m good.

What genre do you prefer writing?

Turns out it’s romance, haha. For a while I struggled with where that left me, since I dream of writing best sellers and the next Great American Novel, but my best friend gave me some really wonderful, reassuring advice. Love and romance are such an important part of life for so much of humanity, that they’re just as important to write as any other kind of writing. After that I stopped doubting “just being good at romance writing” and embraced it.

Are you a planner or a write-as-I-go kind of person?

I suppose I’m a write-as-I-go kind of person. It’s always all in my head - I know that I need to get from Point A to D to K and then fill in the bits in between as I go. Occasionally if I’m worried I’ll forget an idea I’ll jot down a loose plan, but normally I just sit and write. Some of my fics have been more planned out - Miss Grey had a pretty decent plan/outline up to a point to make certain I kept it all straight. Otherwise I just wing it.

What music do you listen to while writing?

Any music, I just have to have something going at all times. I have a massive writing playlist (maybe 600+ words?) that I just continually add new songs on to when I discover new music/remember old songs I like. Certain fics have had designated playlists - Even Doves Have Pride had its own, for example. But otherwise I just turn on my favorite music and write. I’ll admit to having a weird soft spot/habit of listening to Eminem sometimes when I write. No clue why, I just do.

Fave books/movies?

Oh dear. I’ll try to narrow it down to only three each, otherwise the list will be wayyyyy too long.

Fave Books: Dracula by Bram Stoker, Lady Chatterly’s Lover by DH Lawrence, and Shanna by Kathleen E Woodiwiss

Fave Movies: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Fountain, and Moonrise Kingdom

Any current WIPs?

Is this question supposed to be funny? It’d be easier to list my completed works, haha. Right now I’ve been really in the zone with my Abby/Ry fics, so mostly Just Like Heaven (my TGiM fic), Wicked Game (a companion piece to Just Like Heaven that has very little to do with DA, haha), and Your Arms Feel Like Home, my joint fic with @dismalzelenka. I’ve also been trying to throw in updates for Miss Grey and Beautiful Disaster when I can. I’m hoping to get back to After Rain soon as well as a few others of my Cullen/Evelyn fics. Hopefully.

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you, what would your standard outfit be?

A long sleeve black shift dress and some cute little combat boots, too much black eyeliner, and rings.

Create a character description for yourself:

The trend seems to be a gif, which I think I’ll go with since I hate talking about myself xD

Do you like incorporating people you actually know into your writing?

I don’t directly insert anyone I know, but I definitely draw inspiration from people I’ve met. Grayson is a combination of every “Nice Guy(TM)” that I’ve met, every guy who’s been upset when they realized I had “Friend Zoned” them. But he’s not based on one person, just stories and traits from people I’ve interacted with or heard stories about from girlfriends. John has characteristics from people I’ve met in different places, including businessmen who chatted me up when I was a bartender. But I’ve never written someone who was a direct copy of anyone I’ve known.

Are you kill-happy with characters?

I’m kill happy in my character’s back stories (sorry Evelyn, Abby, and Cecilia!) but so far my main fics haven’t really had any actual character deaths. I prefer happy endings.

Coffee or tea while writing?

Wine. And I guess coffee when I write during the day.

Slow or fast writer?

Possibly too fast, haha. I’ve been trying to make myself take my time with it recently instead of the way I was obsessively writing too much too quickly before. Trying to get back to fleshing everything out and getting into detail and context. But in general, I’m definitely more of a Stephen King type than a George RR Martin type of writer.

Where/who/what do you find inspiration from?

Anywhere! Music definitely, shower thoughts, and then of course the writer trademark of drifting off during conversation with someone when a new idea strikes. My poor hubby has had to deal with me stopping him mid-sentence to jot down an idea real quick before he can continue his story waaaaaay too many times. Poor guy.

If you were put into a fantasy world, what would you be?

Being some sort of mage/sorcerer/warlock/witch something would be amazing. Being an alchemist or healer though would be fun as well.

Most fave book cliche? Least fave book cliche?

Most: Besides a happy ending, I’ll admit I’m a sucker for the “misunderstanding” romance where one or both of them misunderstand the other’s feelings/intentions/actions and think they could never be together/reciprocate their feelings. Until they realize they were wrong and get together, of course, hehe.

Least: Love triangles (for no reason other than drama, occasionally a love triangle makes sense) and poorly written female love interests (the kind who could be replaced by a lamp and the story would be the same). Ugh.

Fave scenes to write?

Smutty smut smut! Although pining and angst are both fun as well, but...I do love me some smut.

Most productive time of day for writing?

Late at night.

Reason for writing:

My brain is constantly going and going and going coming up with ideas and characters and scenes and stories. Before I started channeling it into fic I was struggling to focus it into a single story. But writing like I have been has helped me better channel the disquiet of my imagination into something productive. Plus I love it - creating makes me happy and insanely fulfilled.

Tagging (sorry for repeats and no obligation as always!): @windysuspirations @ladymdc @dismalzelenka @kagetsukai @shannaraisles @a-shakespearean-in-paris @shakespeareinthepark @amaranthine-daydream @felorinbailenshield2 @kawakaeguri @hylianblues @lechatrouge673 @fereldenpeach

[liesandarbor]

A Falling Star in Westeros Pt I: Analyzing Ashara Dayne

Part I of V in a collection of writings regarding the mysterious and ‘late’ Ashara Dayne, her potential effect on narrative, and compelling arguments for and against her fate. Part I explores House Dayne and Ashara's timeline during the Rebellion and other perspectives surrounding her character.

Naught Like a Tourney to Make the Blood Run Hot

"There was one knight," said Meera, "in the year of the false spring. The Knight of the Laughing Tree, they called him. He might have been a crannogman, that one." "Or not." Jojen's face was dappled with green shadows. "Prince Bran has heard that tale a hundred times, I'm sure." "No," said Bran. "I haven't. And if I have it doesn't matter. Sometimes Old Nan would tell the same story she'd told before, but we never minded, if it was a good story. Old stories are like old friends, she used to say. You have to visit them from time to time." -Bran II, ASOS

Fleeting recollections of Robert’s Rebellion hit the pages of A Song of Ice and Fire... and dissipate almost immediately. The blazing heat of romance between Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark casts a shadow throughout the plot, while secondary tragic romances fill in the cracks created by war, loss and rising tensions. 279 - 283 AC were complete blockbuster years: Westerosi A-Listers, action packed war scenes, and as we pry tape off corners and remove neatly laid packaging materials, we reveal a story that more than exceeds its genre’s expectations.

Where other authors retcon plots to accommodate twists and suspension of disbelief, (looking at you, Orson Scott Card), details planted by George RR Martin don’t scream ‘trickery’; he doesn’t cheapen the original package.  Instead, each twist is organically grown, supported by established character motivations, and carefully precedented in the pages.

Through PTSD-riddled unreliable narrators, we hurdle into a tale of heightened catastrophe and romance. The ringing of steel, maidens in silk, heated urgency of young lovers linger in the air; and a bone-chilling refrain of death (promise me, she cried).

The kidnapping of Lyanna Stark remains the focus of the Rebellion, but in that story’s telling, we are introduced to several other key players.  The most prominent establishing is offered up in A Storm of Swords.  Where Martin builds the mystery surrounding Robert’s Rebellion in the first two books, Bran II offers us a deeper look at everyone involved:

"That evening there was to be a feast in Harrenhal, to mark the opening of the tourney, and the she-wolf insisted that the lad attend. He was of high birth, with as much a right to a place on the bench as any other man. She was not easy to refuse, this wolf maid, so he let the young pup find him garb suitable to a king's feast, and went up to the great castle. "Under Harren's roof he ate and drank with the wolves, and many of their sworn swords besides, barrowdown men and moose and bears and mermen. The dragon prince sang a song so sad it made the wolf maid sniffle, but when her pup brother teased her for crying she poured wine over his head. A black brother spoke, asking the knights to join the Night's Watch. The storm lord drank down the knight of skulls and kisses in a wine-cup war. The crannogman saw a maid with laughing purple eyes dance with a white sword, a red snake, and the lord of griffins, and lastly with the quiet wolf . . . but only after the wild wolf spoke to her on behalf of a brother too shy to leave his bench. -Bran II ASOS

Our first glimpse at Harrenhal players arrive through the eyes of Howland Reed, echoed in his daughter’s voice.  From the Stark family to Yoren, Robert Baratheon to Richard Lonmouth, we find a vibrant distraction from the melancholy centerpiece: a beautiful, dancing maid with purple eyes.

The first daughter of an ancient Dornish house, Ashara Dayne materializes in and out of pages like stardust.  A beautiful young woman with a seemingly brighter future, sent to the capital to further her station and serve her liege lords of House Martell.  She ends in the summer sea, buried beneath rumors of a fatal tragedy; suicide, losing a child and brother in the war.

So, Ashara’s voice is taken from the narrative before readers chance to hear it. Instead, secondhand rumors from point of view characters detail her character.  Where we search for a single grain of truth in Ashara’s story, theories and ideas tend to crop up out of nowhere.

The Mysterious Life of House Dayne

The family with strangely hued eyes and lineage supposedly dates back to the Dawn Age.  Through various speculation and soft facts, the closest thing to a Dayne Rebellion family timeline I could create while deciphering Ned Dayne’s parentage was born (That theory is originally found at link, but for the time being, explanation helps this updated timeline go down smoothly).

**note: Gerold Dayne was left out of the table, due to lack of effect on Ashara and as a cadet branch of House Dayne.  While we may get House Dayne exposition from him in The Winds of Winter, it is not likely his timeline of birth is relevant to this piece.

***Mom/Dad are complete speculation- there is no canonical information in the books to go off besides Ashara’s semi-solid birth parameters, and the vague idea that the mom would probably birth their first son between the ages of 15-25

Mom and Dad Dayne: 230-240 AC Birth, 280-294 AC Death

For the Eldest Dayne to become Lord of Starfall, and Edric’s birth in 287 AC, the parents would die between 280-294 - allowing Eldest Dayne to act as Lord (betrothals/political moves for Edric and Allyria).  If Allyria is the daughter of the Mom/Dad Dayne, they had to be alive 279-283 AC (see  below).  Birth dates are speculated from the latest birth dates for the Eldest Dayne, aging them 15-25 at Eldest Dayne’s birth and 33-43 at Allyria’s.  This fits Mom Dayne to a similar age as Joanna Lannister and unnamed Martell mother, although that doesn’t denote canon.  We may never get a clear view on the Dayne Parents in the narrative, although Elio Garcia confirmed we will at least find out more on the Dayne Family Tree in the future books.

*Note: Though unnamed in ASOIAF canon, a Game of Thrones Easter Egg names the Dayne father “Beric”  - talk about Daddy Issues for Allyria, huh?

Eldest Dayne: 250-255 AC Birth (Lord of Starfall 287 AC - 297) 294-297 AC Death

With nothing to go on besides “Edric’s father was the Lord of Starfall until Edric was”, the Eldest Dayne clocks in at 10 or fewer years between Arthur and him.  I speculate if someone were to create a betrothal for Allyria in 294 (which, if you hit the Ned Dayne Parentage theory, would make sense to bind the Marcher Lords to the Daynes, keeping behavior in line regarding the Fowlers) the Eldest Dayne was still alive - putting him 39-44 years old in 294 AC.  If Ned Dayne is 7 in 294 AC, the Eldest Dayne would be around 32-37 when Ned was born.  If Ned Dayne is the current Lord of Starfall, his father was Lord before him, even if brief.  His father would be dead between 294-297 AC; something Ned seems to have come to terms with in ASOS, where he meets Arya in 299/300 AC.  Four to six years later seems appropriate, as Ned would have gone off to page for Beric in 294 AC.

Arthur: 255-260 AC Birth, 283 AC Death

Not as much to decipher here, so I’ll give you a break:if Jaime Lannister was the youngest KG at 15, that indicates Arthur Dayne had to be at least 16 years old in 276 AC, if not older.  Arthur was born, at latest, 260 AC.

Ashara: 260-265 AC Birth, 283 AC “Death” (speculated off of SSM, Rebellion timeline, and Martells visiting Starfall on their Marriage Journey (ASOS) )

In a 2002 SSM, Martin stated Ashara, if alive, would be in her thirties. Operating in Storm of Swords time, 299-300 AC, this puts her birth before 270 AC. 270 AC puts Ashara at 12 during the Tourney at Harrenhal; earlier than 260 AC puts her at 22+.  A narrower age range would be appropriate at 260-265 AC.  Following Oberyn’s notion that “a difference of five or six years is little enough.” (Tyrion X, ASOS) and his age being 16-17 at the time of their visit, Ashara was likely in her pre/early teens during 273 AC. Elia Martell was born about five to ten years before Ashara - logically, we can assume Ashara is born closer to 260-265 AC than 270 AC. Having Ashara born in 260-265 AC leaves her within the range of the ‘tragic teen romance’ role given to the Rebellion Ladies - any younger doesn’t quite fit.

Allyria: 279-283 AC Birth

According to AWOIAF, Allyria Dayne is the younger sister of Eldest, Arthur and Ashara Dayne.  Allyria is betrothed to Beric Dondarrion in 294 AC.  Betrothals generally occur for highborn young woman between the ages of eleven to fifteen, if not before the girl flowers (Lyanna at thirteen, Sansa at eleven, Myrcella at ten, Margaery thirteen/fourteen). Allyria was probably born about 279 AC earliest and latest 283 AC.  She would currently be at oldest 21, and youngest 17.

Edric: 287 AC Birth, Lord of Starfall somewhere in 294-297 AC

"How long have you been Lord Beric's squire?" she asked, to take his mind from his misery. "He took me for his page when he espoused my aunt." He coughed. "I was seven, but when I turned ten he raised me to squire. I won a prize once, riding at rings." "I never learned the lance, but I could beat you with a sword," said Arya. "Have you killed anyone?" That seemed to startle him. "I'm only twelve." I killed a boy when I was eight, Arya almost said, but she thought she'd better not. -Arya VIII, ASOS

If Ned Dayne was seven when Allyria was betrothed (294 AC), he would have to be eleven turning twelve in 299 AC, placing his birth in 287 AC.

While Martin has slipped up with subtle details in the past - Jeyne Westerling’s hips, Tyrion’s majestic tumbling, Renly’s eye color, currency value, gender-changing horses - there’s reason to believe that these subtle details in the House Dayne plot are important. The family with a famed, apocalypse ending sword has to come into play eventually - like Martin has said, “you don't hang a giant wolf pack on the wall unless you intend to use it”.  Logically, if they hold Dawn - and have held Dawn - House Dayne has a major part to play in the story to come.  Why introduce Ned Dayne and Dawn lore, if not? And further, why introduce and consistently reintroduce Ashara Dayne?

  She Who Treads on the Sea

Ashara Dayne’s Personal Timeline

“As to your speculations about Catelyn and Ashara Dayne... sigh... needless to say, All Will Be Revealed in Good Time. I will give you this much, however; Ashara Dayne was not nailed to the floor in Starfall, as some of the fans who write me seem to assume. They have horses in Dorne too, you know. And boats (though not many of their own). As a matter of fact (a tiny tidbit from SOS), she was one of Princess Elia's lady companions in King's Landing, in the first few years after Elia married Rhaegar. The rest I will save for the books.” (SSM)

If you found the Dayne rebellion timeline tedious, this next one is easier to digest.  Poring over each minute detail in order to speculate ages… is not something you glance and ‘catch’.  Actually, speculation of most Rebellion moments tend to be composed of exactly that.  The true problem remains: we don’t know what Martin’s true canon is. Are the timelines off on purpose, or simply blurred from normal inconsistencies in narration? With the importance of House Dayne in the wars to come, I don’t see Martin leaving their mystery alone.  Ashara’s personal timeline during the rebellion isn’t quite as complicated to keep track of, but with so little canon available, it’s a reasonable amount of information to absorb.

273 AC - The Martell visit

The Marriage Search

"Do you recall the tale I told you of our first meeting, Imp?" Prince Oberyn asked, as the Bastard of Godsgrace knelt before him to fasten his greaves. "It was not for your tail alone that my sister and I came to Casterly Rock. We were on a quest of sorts. A quest that took us to Starfall, the Arbor, Oldtown, the Shield Islands, Crakehall, and finally Casterly Rock . . . but our true destination was marriage. Doran was betrothed to Lady Mellario of Norvos, so he had been left behind as castellan of Sunspear. My sister and I were yet unpromised.”

-Tyrion X, ASOS

Elia and I were older, to be sure. Your brother and sister could not have been more than eight or nine. Still, a difference of five or six years is little enough. And there was an empty cabin on our ship, a very nice cabin, such as might be kept for a person of high birth. As if it were intended that we take someone back to Sunspear. A young page, perhaps. Or a companion for Elia. Your lady mother meant to betroth Jaime to my sister, or Cersei to me. Perhaps both."

-Tyrion X, ASOS

In a mighty Dornish exposition drop, Oberyn Martell gives more than us a few interesting moments to review. A few assumptions can be made from even the smallest of sentences.  The Martell Marriage Search sent Oberyn and Elia to find proper and advantageous alliances in Westeros.  While we know the eventual doom Elia’s marriage evoked, it is worth noting that their first stop was Starfall.  Were Ashara born between 260-265, she would have been between the age of eight and 13 during the visit, with Arthur at least thirteen by this meeting. Oberyn and Elia were about 16 and 15 during the Martell Marriage Search, and more than likely within the five to six year age range of the Dayne siblings.  

"What I did not tell you was that my mother waited as long as was decent, and then broached your father about our purpose. Years later, on her deathbed, she told me that Lord Tywin had refused us brusquely. His daughter was meant for Prince Rhaegar, he informed her. And when she asked for Jaime, to espouse Elia, he offered her you instead."

-Tyrion X, ASOS

So why no Dayne match? If you subscribe to the Southron Ambitions theory by Stefan Sasse, you’ll already know and believe that the older generation of parent figures and players in Robert’s Rebellion (Rickard Stark, Hoster Tully, Jon Arryn, Tywin Lannister, Steffon Baratheon) were obsessed with finding politically beneficial matches for their children and family.  The ruling Princess of Dorne, a long-time friend and fellow Lady-in-waiting to Rhaella Targaryen, Joanna Lannister, had her own plans that went awry; including a Lannister match.

Late 280 AC - Spring of 281 AC

King’s Landing: Lady-in-waiting

Rhaegar had chosen Lyanna Stark of Winterfell. Barristan Selmy would have made a different choice. Not the queen, who was not present. Nor Elia of Dorne, though she was good and gentle; had she been chosen, much war and woe might have been avoided. His choice would have been a young maiden not long at court, one of Elia's companions … though compared to Ashara Dayne, the Dornish princess was a kitchen drab.

-The Kingbreaker, ADWD

Elia Martell married Prince Rhaegar Targaryen in early 280 AC, in King’s Landing.  They moved to Dragonstone after the wedding, and later in 280 AC, Elia had their first child, Princess Rhaenys.  They presented the baby to King Aerys II and Rhaella after she was born.  With the tourney right around the corner in the false spring, and Elia and Rhaegar both returning to Dragonstone after the tourney, we can assume that Ashara Dayne came to King’s Landing as a companion to Elia when they presented Princess Rhaenys to the royal family.

So, what exactly would the job description of Elia Martell’s lady-in-waiting entail? Historically, a court lady is someone of noble but lower social birth of their attended who acts almost like an assistant. A lady in today’s more feudal societies, such as Kate Middleton’s attendees, would find themselves tasked with acting like a social auxiliary, managing correspondences and helping entertain notable luminaries. In the feudal ASOIAF society, ladies participate in queenly pastimes; wardrobe care/dressing, highborn activities (needlework, riding, music), supervision over servants, and even as messenger for discreet communications.  Overall, ladies at court offer friendship for a woman who can’t exactly go out and make friends with just any common human.  (History Revealed, Lordsandladies.org)

If, as Barristan states,  Ashara accompanied Elia to King’s Landing but didn’t stay long (The Kingbreaker, ADWD), then she probably wasn’t running around the castle playing hopscotch all day.  Elia was bedridden for half a year after giving birth to Rhaenys.  Had Ashara come to court when Rhaenys was presented - and stayed until the Tourney of Harrenhal was over - she would probably miss out on a lot of the normal lady-in-waiting activities; she may not have had a friendly and loving relationship as most would think with Elia.  A 13-20 year old daughter, pulled from the sandy coasts of the summer sea to attend court and create opportunities for herself and her family ended up alone in a great keep, where madness, prophecy, and a hint of wildfire circled the royal family.  Dornish weren’t exactly made to feel like welcome guests in the castle - the king refused to touch Rhaenys when she was presented to him (TWOIAF) and grew increasingly hostile and paranoid against Dorne and its allies as time went on.  Aerys even went as far as holding Elia and her children hostage in the war to keep Lewyn and her family (and their armies) under control.  

Like other girls who come to the capital with heads full of sparkling knights and ladies, King’s Landing probably wasn’t fun and games for Ashara. There truly isn’t textual basis in Ashara/Elia slumber parties, staying up ‘til 3 AM and braiding each other’s hair every night.  Elia would have been at least 4-5 years Ashara’s senior, if not more.  Her duties to Elia would have, more than likely, been tedious.  Imagine walking into court each day, knowing exactly how the current king felt about your ethnicity and culture - even openly insulting his grandchildren and daughter-in-law. Aerys II’s court didn’t exactly sound like the songs; there was no romance, no fun.

Tourney at Harrenhal: Early/Mid Mid 281 AC

The crannogman saw a maid with laughing purple eyes dance with a white sword, a red snake, and the lord of griffins, and lastly with the quiet wolf . . . but only after the wild wolf spoke to her on behalf of a brother too shy to leave his bench.

-Bran, ASOS

The first night of the Tourney, a great feast was held.  Meera Reed details the feast to Bran Stark, and we are posed on the walls of Harrenhal, watching Ashara Dayne dance with several dance partners - a white sword (Barristan Selmy or her brother, Arthur), a red snake (Oberyn Martell), the lord of griffins (Jon Connington) and the quiet wolf (Ned Stark) at the wild wolf(Brandon Stark)’s request.  

Where Rhaegar Targaryen and Elia Martell were present at the Tourney at Harrenhal, Ashara Dayne was not far behind.  There to attend Elia (also seen in official art depicted by Paolo Puggioni in The World of Ice and Fire) - Ashara likely spent time comforting her after the public embarrassment of Rhaegar honoring Lyanna.

And that’s where Ashara’s timeline begins to trail off.  Barristan states Ashara was dishonored at Harrenhal (“Ashara's daughter had been stillborn, and his fair lady had thrown herself from a tower soon after, mad with grief for the child she had lost, and perhaps for the man who had dishonored her at Harrenhal as well.”- The Kingbreaker, ADWD), which plants the seed in our minds: Ashara had sex at the Tourney of Harrenhal, popped out a stillborn baby nine months later, and sequentially… threw herself off of a tower.  

But that timeline doesn’t quite add up.  Barristan says ‘soon after’ - which, left vague, could mean any number of days, weeks, or months, but certainly soon after in this text couldn’t mean one to two years.  Whether this is unreliable narration, perspective change, or even just Barristan being clueless - it isn’t necessarily a new concept concerning him (Aerys/Joanna and Rhaegar exposition, intricacies of politics in Meereen, etc).

Elia almost dead; Ashara returned to Starfall: 282 AC

Jon Connington remembered Prince Rhaegar's wedding all too well. Elia was never worthy of him. She was frail and sickly from the first, and childbirth only left her weaker. After the birth of Princess Rhaenys, her mother had been bedridden for half a year, and Prince Aegon's birth had almost been the death of her. She would bear no more children, the maesters told Prince Rhaegar afterward. -The Griffin Reborn, ADWD

When the Tourney concluded, Elia and Rhaegar returned home to Dragonstone, where Elia would give birth to Aegon VI Targaryen, and Rhaegar would soon take to the road with companions before falling upon and ‘kidnapping’ Lyanna Stark (The Fall of the Dragons: The Year of the False Spring, TWOIAF)

Drowning: 283 AC

"My father was Ser Arthur's elder brother. Lady Ashara was my aunt. I never knew her, though. She threw herself into the sea from atop the Palestone Sword before I was born." "Why would she do that?" said Arya, startled. Ned looked wary. Maybe he was afraid that she was going to throw something at him. "Your lord father never spoke of her?" he said. "The Lady Ashara Dayne, of Starfall?" -Arya VIII, ASOS

Words pause on the page; waters devour the first-born daughter of House Dayne.  The news is presented to us through Cersei Lannister, Barristan the Bold, Ned Dayne and Catelyn Stark: Ned Stark slew Ashara’s brother (“They called him the Sword of the Morning, and he would have killed me but for Howland Reed.” - Bran III, ACOK),  brought home her ancestral family sword (“Ned had carried Ser Arthur's sword back to the beautiful young sister who awaited him in a castle called Starfall”- Catelyn II, ACOK), and she jumped off of the Palestone Sword Tower (“Her heart was broken”- Arya VIII, ASOS).  Ashara is buried beneath the oceans of Planetos.  

But why is she brought up so often as we travel through ASOIAF?

The Purple Herring: Why Does Someone Have to Die?

“The death of a beautiful woman is, unquestionably, the most poetical topic in the world.” - Edgar Allan Poe

Ashara Dayne exists as an abstract notion that no one has grasped in the books; a construct, a lady in a tower, in a song. Nothing to describe her varied accounts, no one holding the real truth - and those that do hold that truth, have been moved off of the pages.

What begins as a distraction from the truth, readers are led away from the mystery of Rhaegar and Lyanna; but Ashara’s story slowly devolves into its own tragedy. What is implemented as a Dornish scapegoat; valyrian features, purple eyes, a fake-out, in case the savior emerged more Targaryen than Stark, turns into a simple blame game.  

While not the only herring to Jon’s parentage (see: Wylla, a serving woman from Starfall (Arya VIII, ASOS), as well as the Fisherman’s Daughter in Sisterton (Davos I, ADWD)), Ashara sits center stage as the most likely candidate. As a result, characters project failures, jealousy, and hunger for power on a dead girl with no voice, but sad, beautiful eyes.

Our first mention of Ashara splashes into an early POV during AGOT: a young woman finds what solace she can in being a sold pony, married to the Wolf in line for her father’s swords. Placing blame on a dead girl, Catelyn Stark escapes the shame of raising a child that wasn’t hers, and the pain of a husband who ‘cheated’.

That was the only time in all their years that Ned had ever frightened her. "Never ask me about Jon," he said, cold as ice. "He is my blood, and that is all you need to know. And now I will learn where you heard that name, my lady." She had pledged to obey; she told him; and from that day on, the whispering had stopped, and Ashara Dayne's name was never heard in Winterfell again. -Catelyn II, AGOT

A soiled Kingsguard member lays his feeling of failure at the foot of her grave.  The girl he should have saved, too beautiful to live, becomes a place for him to rest his guilt; on the one who got away.

But Ashara's daughter had been stillborn, and his fair lady had thrown herself from a tower soon after, mad with grief for the child she had lost, and perhaps for the man who had dishonored her at Harrenhal as well. She died never knowing that Ser Barristan had loved her. How could she? He was a knight of the Kingsguard, sworn to celibacy. No good could have come from telling her his feelings. No good came from silence either. If I had unhorsed Rhaegar and crowned Ashara queen of love and beauty, might she have looked to me instead of Stark? He would never know. But of all his failures, none haunted Barristan Selmy so much as that. - The Kingbreaker, ADWD

The scorned queen, jealous and prideful, grasping at rumored straws in an attempt to overpower and wound our protagonist.

"How dare you play the noble lord with me! What do you take me for? You've a bastard of your own, I've seen him. Who was the mother, I wonder? Some Dornish peasant you raped while her holdfast burned? A whore? Or was it the grieving sister, the Lady Ashara? She threw herself into the sea, I'm told. Why was that? For the brother you slew, or the child you stole? Tell me, my honorable Lord Eddard, how are you any different from Robert, or me, or Jaime?" -Cersei, AGOT

Ned allowing Ashara to be used as a herring for Jon's birth suggests that Ned knew to cover his bases. Of the three leading choices for Jon’s ‘parentage’, Ashara had the most to lose; and the most to give.  With House Dayne abetting Rhaegar - and even the slightest notion of Ashara being a link in finding the Tower of Joy - Robert Baratheon could find Ashara guilty in the kidnapping of Lyanna Stark. While Robert was a merciful ruler where loyalty lay, (seen with Barristan), Ned couldn't risk that information leading Robert deeper - deeper being closer to Jon's true parentage ("I see no babes. Only dragonspawn." Eddard II, AGOT).  

If Ashara lived, she would have to live quietly, or risk her own safety. As long as the Baratheons (and their supporters) held the Iron Throne and the Rhaegar/Lyanna myth held firm, Ashara Dayne was always going to be found guilty, no matter her true allegiance, no matter what her actions were - and careful, cautious Ned Stark couldn’t risk that.

Let me pull you out of these thoughts for a moment.  If you have a free browser tab to spare, throw this song on while you read.  It’s scored well for this next bit, and I’ve come to find that mood music always improves the overall sensation when Ashara is involved. “Why does someone have to die?” by Philip Glass from the Hours is a personal favorite soundtrack piece. 

The Hours plants the viewer in the lives of three very different women, yearning for something more, linked by a common denominator of fear and strife - much like the late females of the rebellion.  Their stories eventually intertwine, and Philip orchestrates the emotion of the piece: the swell of sadness, the cascading melancholy notes, the strings vibrating to resonate what words can not.  We turn towards the summer sea; the cool, pale marble of the Palestone Sword Tower against our toes.  We are at once filled with anguish.  As the waves sweep us away with Ashara’s ending, we ask the question: why does someone have to die?  

Specifically, why Ashara?

Because that’s the way the song goes. As she plummets to the bottom of the ocean and her life decrescendos, Ashara is dying, because that’s what we as the reader are told happens. The recipe calls for it, no matter which way we bend the story, or which variable we change. The innocent and the lovers are the first condemned in romance’s fire and tragedy.

Like any journey, the one to the savior’s birth is laced with sacrifice and loss. The sad girl, hair billowing behind her, standing on the edge of a tower in songs, will always throw herself off of the tower.  But is that the way it always goes, or is that the way that it is being written?  Is the audience simply comfortable with what we’ve been told, or do we press to find something deeper?

Martin allows readers to enter the “tower” in A Storm of Swords, without having to tell us that it is Ashara’s.

“Why did she jump into the sea though?” "Her heart was broken." “Sansa would have sighed and shed a tear for true love, but Arya just thought it was stupid.” She couldn't say that to Ned, though, not about his own aunt. "Did someone break it?" -Arya VIII, ASOS

“He sang about some stupid lady throwing herself off some stupid tower because her stupid prince was dead.” -Cat of the Canals, AFFC

Threads dangle in front of our faces, but we can’t quite clutch them; precisely how Ashara has been dangled in front of us in the series.  We are told to look.  Look closer. Things are not what they seem.

The Rebellion drills the reader to examine the stories in our hands, to probe between lines, while perspective tells us to remember who we are watching the story through. Arya finds the stories and songs stupid, which can be easily empathized with- remember being young, before things were so intricately complicated, so delicately woven?  The girl who needed to enter a literal house of black and white to learn that things aren’t always black and white has no clue just how complicated this situation could and could not be.

While war and tragedy waged on through the Rebellion, those innocently stuck on the losing side assumed the saddest position. Elia Martell, stuck in the capital with her children was unable to leave or protect them, despite having done everything asked of her; marry the crown prince, bear his children, say yes, yes, yes. Rhaella, lured home through storms to Dragonstone in the dead of night, finding a bitter end to the years of abuse endured at the hands of her brother-husband.  Ashara, the poeticized and mysterious young woman with an uncanny gaze further perpetuates the princess in the tower trope scattered throughout the story. Sansa, Arianne, and even Ashara are all stowed in this “tower”, stripped of choice and agency, each with different fates awaiting them.

“The lady should go kill the ones who killed her prince.  And the singer should be on the wall.“ -Cat of the Canals, AFFC

Were it that easy, wolf girl.  Things are never quite that easy, a lesson driven home repeatedly in cause-effect scenario.  In this moment, the girl with winter in her blood resembles the reader; rejecting the overtly romantic sounding layers, the true nature of the plot, and refusing to see past the words on the page.

The princess in the tower can’t just call the banners and go off to war for her ‘prince’.  Where most see in a range of color, songs of Westeros don’t offer that generous of a view. Ashara Dayne had to “die” for the cause.

Interlude: Panning Offscreen

In a simple, clean move, every scrap of narrative food disappears off of the table before we can get too greedy.  Where do characters with knowledge of every uninterpretable secret go? Off the screen.  They die. They’re never introduced to the POVs that feed us.  They disappear.  If they know too much, they are displaced from the page, at least until it’s deemed safe.  Their secrets lie in the air, whispering through each line.  Promise me, we hear, as Ned Stark’s head rolls. The reader resonates for 4 more books on the true meaning of the room that smelled of blood and roses.  Why did she throw herself into the sea? We teeter on the edge of a bittersweet tragedy, moments from breaking through. A pause. Ned Dayne flits between the chapters of ASOS, details are inched into our view, but our almost-exposition drop evaporates before it’s given away.

When he slept, he dreamed: dark disturbing dreams of blood and broken promises. - Eddard XV, AGOT

Thanks so much for taking the time to read, all! In part II, we're going to talk about the Tower of Joy (and the stigma of silence surrounding it), identity and hidden identity in Westeros, and compelling arguments against theories about Ashara as Quaithe, Septa Lemore, Brandon Stark's baby-mama and the-baby-swap.

[suechoiart]

Movietastic Summer Week 1

Husband and I are having a movietastic summer this summer. Here are the seven movies from week one. 

#1 Citizen Kane (1941) dir. Orson Welles, screen play Orson Welles et al., cinematography Gregg Toland, feat. Orson Welles, Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay

Citizen Kane understands the medium of a black and white movie and exploits to its extremes to paint a portrait of a man whose life was always public. We learn more about Kane through Mr. Thompson, a reporter, who interviews and reads accounts about Mr. Kane. Visually excellent and the storytelling is marvelous. The twenty-something year old Orson Welles’ project is successful and it’s an apt precedent to movie making. 

This easily digestible blog post goes over some of the most celebrated aspects of Citizen Kane. [link] 

rating: would watch over-and-over again as a film student 

#2 The Big Short (2015)  dir. Adam McKay (Anchorman, Antman), screenplay Adam McKay, Charles Randolph, based on story by Michael Lewis, feat. Ryan Gosling, Steve Carell, Christian Bale, and Brad Pitt; and cameos (?) Margot Robbie taking a bath, Anthony Bourdain cooking, and Selena Gomez in Vegas.  Academy Award for Best Writing Adapted Screenplay

What’s so impressive is that EVERYONE brought their A-game to this rather pseudo-mockumentary (?). It’s based on a true tale (the 2008 crash) featuring depictions of real people, along with educational or narrative asides that ‘break the fourth wall.’ Adam McKay is a great director that understands and applies good composition. His cast become convincing portraits of these real people with their own motivations and fears. Despite telling the story of four main parties (and only two of them colliding) - the overarching narrative is very easy to follow. 

rating: would recommend everyone to watch it 

#3 Dune (1984)  dir. David Lynch, based on story by Frank Herbert, feat. Young Kyle MacLachlan, Patrick Stewart, and Lynch Fam: Jack Nance, Evertett McGill  budget $45 mil, domestic box office $30 mil (RIP)  Saturn Award for Best Costume Design

I still can’t really say what I watched. It’s very Lynchian in that everything - the plot, the themes, the symbols - just floats ambiguously into one big moving picture - but also the strangest Lynch product because it was... actually a linear story? It was an ambitious project. The set pieces and physical environment is quite stunning, but Lynch’s trademark CGI is honestly hilarious and detracts from the main course, if there is one. I’m glad to have watched it, but it does feel like a very, very loose adaptation of a Sci-fi epic. And Young Kyle MacLachlan is a treasure to this world. 

A really disappointed critic’s review that lays out all of the characteristics of Dune [link] 

rating: it was all a ruse for Blue Velvet

#4 Deadpool (2015)  dir. Tim Miller, featuring the dreams of Ryan Reynolds budget: 58 mil -> box office 783 mil !! 

We unintentionally watched the back-to-back double feature for Deadpool 2. This was my third time watching the movie and frankly it’s teethpulling. DP1 took risks in many different ways (i.e. making the movie) that it stuck to true-and-proven methods everywhere else (i.e. the entire movie without Deadpool as a character). The predictable 3-act structure coupled with “edgy” one liners gets old the third time. Regardless, I think this movie is extremely important to this nerd/Marvel era, and DP1′s incredible success is something to admire and celebrate. 

rating: does not deserve a fourth rewatch 

#5 Deadpool 2 (2018)  dir. David Leitch (John Wick 1), screenplay: DP1 writers, RR himself, and Rob Liefield, feat. Deadpool, X-Force, and that guy that played the other big Marvel villain  budget: 110 mil 

Christopher Orr of The Atlantic said, “At least as funny as the original Deadpool, and better in virtually every other respect: better plot, better villains, a few unexpected narrative swerves.” [link] and that reflects my impression of the movie as well. It’s a great entertainment - it couples the low-budget novelty of the first movie with better production and a more extensive narrative. It’s visually entertaining, the jokes are fresh again, and it continues to play into itself - meta jokes about the success of Logan, DP’s current oneliners about the “dark” DC Universe, ... It’s similar to the first movie, but a lot more exciting and better executed.  Regarding repeat watches -- we’ll have to see. 

rating: go watch it! 

p.s. The best part about the DP franchise is really the “fourth wall breaking” marketing aspect - an example: “Deadpool Answers Trending Questions” [link] 

#6 Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)  dir. Francis Ford Coppola, screenplay: James V. Hart (Hook, Muppet Treasure Island) feat. Winona Ryder, Anthony Hopkins, Gary Oldman as Johnny Depp, and Keanu Reeves as Keanu Reeves Academy Award for Best Costume Design

This 1992 Dracula is a wonderful period piece. It deserves the Best Costume Design - everyone wears not only ‘period’ costumes but they all serve as additional symbols of identity, of their role, to each character. The only shame is that I think the movie lasted one act(?) too long. The visual plays that made it so, VERY, interesting (like the scene pictured here) are diminished in favor of the underlying love story behind Dracula. Coppola does not shy away from what makes DRACULA so incredible. Curious lust of cardinal pleasures, of the fear of unknown, of forbidden desires - these explode onto the movie screen. The movie leaps between themes of romance, horror, mystery, and period piece fluidly. 

The visual techniques actually reminded me a lot of manga - overlaying of different and related elements in one composition to set the pieces served really well to reflect the structure of the book (loose collections of clippings). There was a lot of visual storytelling, and again, I think that effort diminished towards the end. 

rating: 3/4 of the movie is great to study, the last 1/4 is forgettable 

#7 Blade (1998)  dir. Stephen Norrington (who?), screenplay: David S. Goyer (later writes Nolan’s Batman trilogy and Snyder’s abominations), feat. WESLEY SNIPES  budget: 45 mil -> box office 131 mil 

I have to admit that I have a soft spot for big cheesy films so Blade currently rests on the throne of my list of awesome cheesy films. Blade precedes Matrix, does a couple of things before The Matrix was ever put on screen (not necessarily well, but it does do it first). The action scenes and choreography are well executed. Wesley Snipes’ every physical move - from standing to fist pumping (see above) are so tight and memorable. The movie may not be the greatest thing put on screen, but it is so lovable! 

Curiously enough, my husband compared Blade to Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (which we rank as the most tragic production of our time) saying that Blade anticipated all of the problems for BvS and did not make those mistakes... Turns out the movies share the same writer! Blade makes a better movie by not taking itself too seriously, and it’s all the more fun because of everyone having fun, committing to extremely over-the-top cheesy performances. 

rating: well-executed cautionary tale of ice skating uphill 

p.s. in the words of a friend, “I’m so happy that Deadpool paved the way for R-rated superhero films and Black Panther for black superheroes...” 

This has been so fun so far! Stay tuned for next week’s movietastic summer extravaganza. 

[michiopa]

keycchan replied to your post: I have an idea for a scene with the fallout daemon...

im intrigued

i just wanna write him and my RR survivor being soft with each other for a change and i’m still high key into my daemon au but trying to figure out what danse is is a NIGHTMARE (i’m thinking dog, he’d be a good sort of working dog)

[myheartisbro-ken]

Hi! 💙🌹 Hope you're​ doing well. How's the power reading going? I hope it's not too boring. I once had to read my professor's book because he made it required for the course (kind of self promotion-y) 😐. Anyway, no I've not read the Cursed Child, but yikes...It sounds bad based on your description. I couldn't even get through the first chapter of My Immortal. 💀That's the goth, er uniquely written, fanfic, where the girl loves Draco, right? I haven't read much HP fanfiction though. (Pt 1).

I actually don’t think I’ve read any. No, I read one short one I think, but it was for a crack ship, so I’ll not mention it. ❤🗡 Anyway, yeah. I don’t really like the extra things JK is doing. I feel like the additional school is kind of pointless…I would prefer she just deepen the history of Hogwarts etc. or better yet, maybe just stop adding stuff? I like Harry Potter, so I don’t want it to become distorted. 😅 Probably an unpopular opinion. Idk. I had class today, it was boring. (Pt 2) I don’t know how your semester is going, but at this point (bc we’re almost finished) there’s a lot of wasted time. I hate wasting time. My professor only spent 25 minutes on salient content and wasted the rest. Also, he let people present late–I’ll stop.😥 I hope you and your puppy had a nice day. It’s almost time for the SuperCorp centric episode! I’m excited, especially after that sneak peek/extended trailer. Lena has to know imo. She’s made wayyyy to many Knowing comments/looks. 💙 (Part 3 Hmm, I would be a bit disappointed at this point if she didn’t know. She’s way to bright to not know. Do you think she knows? If Maggie figured it out, so should Lena. 😐 Hope you have a fabulous day and night. 💙🌹😊😄 (End) [Hmm, FMK (if you’re okay with fuck, mary, kill or french? Idk. Whatever you’re comfortable with: Kate Foster *cough* too hot, hot damn, Red K! Kara, she’d have a bit of a soft spot for you, Alex Danvers, before the DEO, so she’s more of a party girl/irresponsible). 😄

Hey!! 🌹  I haven’t started reading (shame) but I did write the article I had to for Monday and I’m pretty proud of that because I was really thinking I couldn’t do it, but then I sat down and wrote it in like two hours. My semester ends in june/july so we’re in the middle of it and starting to prepare for the big group project, and I only have two classes, so it’s kind of random for me, not really rushed or anything and I only have the cool classes without much to do, so I feel like I’m not really a student, it’s kind of like when you take like a language class after school. I hate wasting time but more in the sense of I don’t like when there isn’t class because a bunch of people decided to have a party or when the end of the class becomes a filler wasted hour because everyone decided to leave to go drinking. Since my classes are at night, this happens a lot, especially on Friday. Next month I’ll have morning classes on Saturdays, those are the worst.

My immortal is the greatest thing ever written because it’s the worst thing every written. Does that make sense? It’s ridiculous and hilarious and really really bad. So it’s amazing. It’s that thing that I think everyone should read to know what’s the worst thing someone could possibly write, it’s good to have that comparison. and when you write it’s good to have that in your head like ‘this is terrible, but at least it’s not My Immortal’ and then you keep that in mind to not do that, like you work as much as you can to not make another version of it. Yet it’s kind of brilliant because it’s so bad there are articles to this day, actual journalists, people who get paid to write and analyze stuff, debating if it was made on purpose to be the worst thing ever written and if the author is a character herself, or if it’s for real and the girl is just that brain damaged as to have a love triangle between her self-insert and Draco and Harry “Vampire” Potter and at the same time her self-insert with Draco and Satan/Voldemort who is not the same person as Tom Riddle. So it’s kind of epic.

I haven’t read many HP fics, although I did start my fic reading life with them, but I haven’t read anything since my first year of highschool so like 6 years I guess. I do like a good HP AU though. I also don’t like JK making all that shit. I would be happy with just what she was doing with Pottermore, developing the Hogwarts universe and shit. Like eventually release a book of the history of wizards and all, like George RR Martin with ‘A World of Ice and Fire’ she could have written some of the books that are mentioned as the Hogwarts reading throughout the series, or short stories of the Marauders adventures and even their kids adventures like Rick Riordan did with the Demigod Diaries. That would have been better than whatever it is she’s doing.

Lena has to know. Someone finds out, so I really think it’s Lena, there’s only Snapper and Lena to find out now, and Snapper knowing brings nothing to the story, and Lena has scenes at the DEO and with Kara and her trusty sidekick so it’s kind of logical if she does know, not to mention she’s brilliant and close with Kara and Supergirl, which is how Lois Lane finds out in all versions, she’s close with both personas and she just puts things together. Kara is Lena’s best friend (and only friend in the city since no one wants to get close to a Luthor, especially now) and Supergirl is always around saving her and giving her speeches and all shit, so it’d make sense if she knew. she is a genius after all, and she had that alien detector (I think that could come into play) and Kara is a terrible liar. Maggie knowing still rubs me the wrong way, to be honest, to me it reads a bit like an offense to the 79 years of Superman and Super mythology. The glasses aren’t dumb and the glasses are also not the reason why people don’t know, the show was trying to be a bit self-aware and funny and have Maggie be smart and a good detective, but to me the way they did it was wrong and bashing on what Jerry Shuster and Joe Siegel created. They could have made her joke about the glasses with Kara, tease her about it, but just tell Alex that she found out because of Alex’s relationship with Kara/Supergirl.

Lena is someone who could help a lot, the DEO and Kara, by knowing it. I think it could be good for their friendship if she knew, I feel like they both need that friendship, outside of their line of work (and family crap) but not too far from it. And her quips are too good for her not to know, let’s be real here. 

What are your thoughts on this?

She looks SOOOO GOOD in the trailer, I’m… ugh, I love her, she’s so pretty *cries*  also she’s wearing so much blue (in this trailer they are going to the conference and she’s wearing a blue jacket and in the photos of the conference she’s wearing a blue dress) that I’m a little offended no one made a parallel/comparison with her looks and Cat telling Kara to dive. just saying.

oh god, that fmk is hard because none of them are really my type, like personality wise, I’m not really into that whole wild aggression not caring for anything and anyone above feelings kind of thing they all have. I love Kate, like a plus congrats to her parents for making all that but I wouldn’t date her, so definitely fuck. Although we don’t really know much about Kate, so I could be wrong on that, but she’s too… intense in most of the ep so. Party girl! Alex has room for a redemption and getting better so maybe marry, unless I can take away the redK from Kara then it’s definitely Kara to marry. I’m not gonna say I’d kill Alex or Kara, so…. okay. FMK Morgana, Lena and Kate (take that)

Devil puppy and I hope you have a fantastic day or night 💙 (I don’t really have time to get emojis rn, sorry. heart and flower are copied from you *wink*)

[missstormcaller]

WE DO knot ALWAYS LOVE YOU Part 6 Full Translation.

4

Part 1

edit: doi I forgot to write the title properly.

------------

6th sector -  Ryotei* "The safflower".

(*A fancy traditional Japanese restaurant)

In Eastern end of the 6th sector, there is a block of noble residences standing in a row.

The head of the Kuchiki clan - one of the four noble families - have for generations, shouldered the responsibility of squad 6 captain, the squad building for that division exists in the 6th sector, and the Kuchiki clan are purveyors of various long standing shops that are lined up side by side there too. For that reason, nobles wishing for fine quality goods all set up residence here, the common soldiers have dubbed this wealthy sector "Kizokugai (Noble city)".

"Hey Yamada... Is this really the right place!?"

The 4th division's vice captain Kiyone Kotetsu asked Yamada Hanataro, the third seat of the same squad, who  was concealed behind her as they walked.

"It's a prime location, it should be right....but...."

Hanataro timidly followed Kiyone whilst checking the electronic correspondence that he received from Kuchiki Rukia, many times over.

As they passed through bamboo thickets and advanced on a straight  gravel covered road, the Sukiyamon* (*Sukiya architecture style gate) came into view. Before the lattice door there was beautifully brushed lettering that said "The safflower" and paper covered lamps cast a soft light on its surroundings.

"Th... This is the place.... isn't it... "

"We're already late for the get together, there's nothing we can do but go in."

As Kiyone made up her mind, she raised her hand to the lattice door. The wind blowed and bamboo leaves rustled.

"Lieutenant... I already have a stomach ache...!"

"Keep a strong spirit Yamada! Otherwise your internal organs will be twisting apart as soon as we enter!"

"Uuuu... I'm afraid.... "

"We are vice captain and 3rd seat! So even if you are going in and out of such a high class establishment, it's not at all strange! That's right, it should not feel strange! It's alright, it's alright!"

Whilst encouraging themselves, they opened the sliding doors and took a step inside.

The entrance of the restaurant was at the end of a stone pavement where both sides were dotted with paper lamps arranged in a row, and before that a pink kimono clad nakai* was waiting for them. (*Nakai -  like a waitress/hostess at ryokan restaurants)

As the figures of the pair entered her vision, the nakai respectfully bowed and said "welcome, please come."

The pair bowed their heads slightly as they walked hurriedly on the stone pavement.

"uh... We have an engagement with Kuchiki..."

"Yes, we have been informed, Kotetsu sama, Yamada sama"

Without any doubt, their names were indeed invited to the restaurant as expected, they both exhaled a breath of air in relief.

"I will guide you, please, this way."

Led by the elderly nakai, they advanced through the corridors facing the gardens that had been arranged to magnificent levels of detail. The amber of the polished floorboards shined.

After crossing the corridors where huge koi fish were swimming atop a pond, they were shown into a private room.

"Here it is....your guests have arrived."

The nakai called out through the (fusuma) sliding panels, to which a reply of 'yes' came from the inside.

The nakai slid open the panels noiselessly, with smiles towards Hanatoro and Kiyone, "Everyone is here now".

"Kotetsu dono! Hanatoro!"

Rising from her zaisu chair, Rukia greeted them. Beside her, Abarai Renji also stood, with a bow he said "Thank you for coming when you are so busy!"

"eh? What's this, what are you talking about!? Everyone is coming aren't they!"

The familiar shinigami placed themselves around the extravagant low table placed in the middle of the spacious tatami room.

"Glad that you could make it~!"

"Thank you for coming, Kiyone san, Hanataro kun."

Rangiku Matsumoto waved her hand and Hinamori momo swiftly bowed her head.

"Yo, Kotetsu! How's the 4th squad?"

"Isn't it fun working in the same place as your older sister?"

With a laugh, Kiyone said "fairly!" in reply to Madarame Ikkaku and Ayasegawa Yumichika.

"Yamada kun you were promoted. Congratulations."

Kira Izuru congratulates Hanataro who shyly touched his hand to his head.

"Th....Thank you very much, Lieutenant Kira... !"

Observing that scene Hisagi Shuhei spoke.

"Oi, that was a while ago! Did you not see the seated members register that came out after the Great War? That was very hard to produce you know... !"

"I'm looking at it properly. It's just that his face is merely different since the promotion."

"That's true, today is the first time seeing you after the great war.... I think."

"Did you not meet at the times of your physical examinations? It seems every soldier has been made to go to the coordinated relief station."

Renji asked Izuru who replied "I'm exempt from physical examinations."

"This guy gets examinations at the department for research and development, so it's ok.... Haven't you read captain Kurotsuchi's research paper?" Hisagi asked.

"I have read it but.... What's it like coming back to life and then becoming amazingly strong?"

"You are truly an idiot."

"Zero reading comprehension."

Rangiku and Hisagi said in lightning quick remarks.

"e-eh? Why? what’s wrong?"

Rukia patted Renji on the back and said "I'll explain later..."

"Well, don't stand there forever Kiyone and co, sit here!"

That said, Rangiku pointed to two empty seats next to Hinamori.

"But Rangiku san, we cannot decide such things as our seating arrangements can we? Like the head of the table or the foot of the table."

"Now now, there's no need to be so formal! I think it's okay if we put the captains in front of the tokonoma*! Right Kuchiki?" (*Tokonoma = alcove were art or flowers are displayed)

"Yeah.... It is. If that's alright with everyone.... "

Opposite Renji and Rukia, a slightly disgruntled Hitsugaya Toshiro who was placed at the other end of the table, nodded in agreement indicating that it was no problem. Kiyone and Hanataro sat down and all seats were occupied.

Curiously enough, against the tokonoma, the right hand side of the low table was entirely male members, the left hand side was three women + hanataro. Watching as Rangiku laughed saying "Hanataro is also on the girls team!", Yumichika shook his head thinking 'good grief'.

"You're a 'girl' yourself, you're a bit old for that kind of thing don't you think."

"Hold your tongue Yumichika! Do you want me to knock you out!?"

"Come now, Rangiku san! Yumichika san also, please stop it's no big deal!"

Kiyone rebuked, Yumichika shrugged his shoulders and said "understood".

"Ahem." Renji stood up straight and puffed out his chest to speak.

(Saying "ahem" was clearly absurd)

(Should have said more than just cough "ahem"....)

(don't think this "ahem"  is a meaningful word.....?)

Rangiku, Hitsugaya and Hisagi thought.

Renji, with a nervous expression, looked around at all who were present. After also standing up, from the tension, Rukia's cheeks were slightly flushed.

"T-today, thank you for sparing your valuable time for us."

Rukia's voice sounded shrill and nervous. Her cheeks became increasingly red.

Renji inhaled a breath of air.

"Actually about that, we.... "

Everyone unconsciously stopped breathing due to the tension in the air, the pair's heartbeats could be heard.

"We, are getting married!"

Renji declared, together they bowed deeply.

To be continued...

and then that rr illustration is inserted right here!

edit 2: T_T I just noticed I missed a line no wonder the bit around the end sounded a bit odd to me. ANYWAY FIXED.

[bottlefame-brewglory]

Hey! Do you have any tips when it comes to finally resolving those "Will they, won't they" situations? (I'm here because whenever I read your fics I'm either at the edge of my seat, or crying like a little Bitch or holding my breath through a whole scene without even noticing) You know, first kiss and all? Thank you!

Okay, so this was sent to me a while ago now, and i am so sorry that it has taken me so freaking long to get back to you. I wanted to get this right for you, and everything has been a bit hectic in my life at the moment, so apologies but i just didn’t have time to do your question justice. BUT, now i do. :)

These scenes are always extremely difficult to write. For the “Will they won’t they’ factor what you want to aim for is suspense. This is also a rather tricky thing to write. I manage it by tapping into my own emotions, i search for the bits of me that i can find in the characters and write as honest as i possibly can if i was in such a situation. And then you need to have that ‘tipping point’ and, tbh, this is probably the funnest part to write, because you can go ANYWHERE with this, depending on how you’ve set it out. You can have a sweet and soft scene, or something messy and manic. Either way, the key, or what i believe to be the key, is to write with emotion. All those feelings and such that are swirling in your gut, you have to get that on to the page. And like i’m pretty sure George RR Martin says, “The devil is in the detail.” That’s what your gunna need, a shit load of detail. Touch, taste, sight, smell, and sound, everything you can think of, put it down. You can edit, you can keep going and going until you’re happy with it, that is the beauty of writing. Just immerse yourself, write like you’re there, and you may find it comes pretty easy to you.Anywhoo, i really hope this helps you out! So sorry for the delay once again, and if i have completely failed to answer your question, don’t hestitate to let me know.Happy writing. ✌😘