#I'd fuck that old man tho

[rubia-peregrinart]

the scent of the moon, of flowers they no longer dream of ; it drives the old hunters into a frenzy.

inspired by Konstantin Korobov's Agnus.

[gxlden-angels]

Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn

Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished

And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue

[yardsards]

today i decided to take a lil walk after my haircut and i was like "i'll just go down another block on this road" but didn't realize the block system had ENDED on that road. and then i was like "well i don't feel like turning back around, i'll just keep walking til there's a turn" but there were no turns even after over a mile of walking

so i pulled up my phone gps and saw that the two options for getting home were "turn around and walk that shitty road home" (easier but more boring) or "walk farther down this road, go into the public forest, and cut through there to get home" (more fun but more difficult)

and i ended up going with the latter

but i had then realized by the time i was entering the forest that the sun was setting. and my phone battery was getting low.

and my legs were getting tired but i couldn't stop and rest because i needed to be out of the woods before dark and i was cutting it awfully close

so like. irl horror game protagonist simulator.

[b4kuch1n]

1/ this bout of comms almost done and 2. spawndate in 3 days so I have! been fixin up some stuff for the itch store. that'll go live on the 29th! right now there Is a pack of the lineart stuff I did last year for folks who found that agreeable, still free to grab! for practicing coloring, or if you wanna mess around with colors when ur not feelin like doing lineart, or if you wanna try to figure out colors in a drastically different style than what you usually go for. or if u just wanna look at it that's cool too. small announcement that is all see u in a few

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Me when artists draw Takaaki hot as fuck

[bumpscosity]

can weirdmageddon start already i'm getting bored here

[pausegame]

Did nothing but play Inquisition yesterday and it was ✨ magical ✨ 🥲😭🙏❤️❤️

[magioftheseas]

Personally what do you think of Sato × Mahiru? (They're from Dangan Ronpa)

They're fine in sdr2 but I don't like at all how they're written in dr3. (But I don't like most of dr3's writing so this isn't a shock.)

[katyspersonal]

It doesn't even make any sense to say ppl justify the Do/ll so they can simp for Ge/hr/man because simps here are always okay with their blorbo being a little or much morally depraved. It is Tumblr, what do those edgelords expect?

jhfgfgdsgds Well, yeah

If you really analyze WHAT fictional male characters tend to attract a lot of stans and people thirsting for them, it is almost always unconditional? Like... People do not need to apologize anyone in BLORBOrne to like them. I mean LOOK at the guys BB fandom thirsts for the most - they are not even TRYING to pretend their favs are not what first meets the eye!

So why would that change for like, a single old man? In fact, on tungle dot hell the more unapologetically and obviously twisted the character is - the BETTER, somehow...?

I will be real, when I was digging lore and themes rather than characters interpreting, I was completely content with 'Maria is a badass masculine woman and G3hrman is a creepy old man' interpretation and worked my ideas from that field. I just... had no problem with the character being messed up and still hated OR enjoyed for who he is? It was when I got a glimpse of big misinterpretation going thanks to retranslation document when I grabbed my pretentious magnifying glass and made my own research.

Feels like eternity now, but to confess the truth, I kinda... liked it how it used to be? The type of 'a person I'd hate to deal with in real life but can explore from every angle in fiction'. Just ask @val-of-the-north how hard I simped for him back then *sobs* (Don't actually ask him oh my god sdfhfdhs I am joking) But yeah that's in the past and I don't even NEED it anymore, whatever I was able to obtain from the concept I now got in spades

But yeah, again, I agree - not even ONCE a Tumblr simp needed to deny the reality; there is just... well, when the blorbo is not ACTUALLY that bad, there is no fun in liking him with this 'badness', and Gehrm4n is... well, not that bad. But fictional men lovers here will pick the worst war criminal who is evil just to be sexy and portray HIM and not some 'morally grey character' as the dream husbando, THIS is what Tumblr stands on and WILL stand on forever sdfjhhds

[roughentumble]

"why do you say 'i think logan [xyz]' and then in the same breath admit to being logankin" 1) because my sense of self is eternally fragmented, 2) i feel like multiple characters so sometimes im a different person commenting on what they think about him, and 3) because there's a difference between i myself sharing facts about myself and i myself sharing opinions about the behaviors of a fictional character who im not fully in control of. hope this helps.

[xeroxcage]

i couldn't bang Copia because i fear he wouldn't handle my it/it's pussy and I don't wanna be responsible for killing the old guy

[kazutora-kurokawa]

What ab tenjiku guys with a yapper gf⁉️ and I mean like, after the boombayah she'd stare dead at the ceiling and be like "that feeling you get on your tongue when you eat a pineapple is actually the pineapple trying to eat you" and go on a whole rant til she falls asleep. Plssss do this my glorious queen Kaz 🙏🙏😁😁😁😜🤭😍😝🎀😜😭🤭😝🤝😝🤝🤭😁🤭😁♥️♥️♥️

Tenjiku x Talkative!Girlfriend!Reader

♡ SFW, fem reader, fluff, kinda smut on Mochi's, post-sex convos, random facts, questions, and workplace drama ♡

Characters: Izana, Kakucho, Ran, Rindou, Mochi, Mucho, Shion

note: glorious queen is crazy 😭 pls continue tho lmao

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Izana

🎴 He's not trying to hear that yapping

"Zana, did you know that cats basically brainwashed humans into loving them?"

"...what?"

🎴 He'll roll over and ignore you until you shut up

🎴 Yap enough and he'll leave the room and sleep on the couch

Kakucho

🩷 He loves listening to you talk, but it's late at night and he's tired

🩷 He politely asks you to be quiet

"Kaku, do you ever think-"

"Babygirl, y'know I love listening to you yap all day, but please lemme get some sleep."

🩷 Cuddles you and buries your face in his chest so you'll shut up

Ran

💜 This man values his beauty sleep, so he hates the rants fr

"Ran, if you had the power to stop time for as long as you want, what would you do?"

"I'd get some damn rest, now go to bed princess."

💜 Puts noise cancelling headphones in to block you out

Rindou

🩵 Happily listens to your yapping

"Then the lady started going off, calling my boss out of his name and shit."

"Oh really?...Then what baby?"

🩵 Falls asleep while you're talking, your voice is soothing for him

🩵 He's the type of boyfriend to fall asleep on calls too

Mochi

🍡 Doesn't mind the yapping at first

"Then the guy started traveling through time to save his childhood friends and-"

"Darling I'm gonna stop you right there, because if you got time to yap, then you have energy for another round."

🍡 Prefers you whimpering and moaning rather than talking his ears off

Mucho

💙 Doesn't even let you start yapping

"Baby if-"

*Covers your mouth with his hand* "It's time for bed love."

💙 I swear he'd be like an old man, going to sleep early and shit lol

Shion

♥️ Listens intently to every word you say

"Did you know some sharks eat their siblings in the womb?"

"That's fucking vicious...tell me more."

♥️ Stays up all night talking to you until you fall asleep

♥️ He hates when you fall asleep before him, he doesn't like the silence or the absence of your voice

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Taglist

@arlerts-angel @i-literally-cant-with-this @trevengersprincess @giugiette @katkusuo @happy-trenchcoated-impala @drunkcheesecake @darkstarlight82 @reiners-milkbiddies @manji-hoe

[hoshigray]

hii love ur works 🫶🏽

can I req brat reader giving toji the WORST attitude? 💗.

*sinister laugh* Why, yes, you can, noonie! When I saw this, the first scenario that came to mind was the reader being another assassin who likes to get on Toji's nerves. So, imma stick with that!! Had to take an all-nighter to finish this up, hehe~ (no fr tho, it's 8:35 in the morning here) Thank you for loving my stuff, and enjoy~~

A/n: posting this bc I'm staling on my Geto fic since my brain has so much it wants to add...sigh. In the meantime, while I'm working on this, I figured I could drop this as an apology for pulling the fic back (~_~;) My apologies, and I hope y'all like this one! Also tysm for 1.7k followers!! Y'all are too kind and sweet, happy to be writing for you~☆ Cw: hard dom! Toji x bratty fem! reader - you and Toji are assassins on a mission together - explicit content; minors DNI - implied age gap (the reader is at least in their 20s; Toji in his mid-30s or approaching 40s, up to you) - fingering (f! receiving) - cunnilingus - sexual acts in a public place - degradation (brat, crybaby, slut, whore) - Daddy kink - reader talking smack, but Toji teaches you a lesson - tiny praise - pussydrunk! Toji - pet names (baby, doll, princess) - ends with penetration, but mostly Toji eating you out - unprotected sex (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up) - overstimulation - clitoral play (pinching, pushing, and sucking) - mentions of blood. Wc: 1.8k

You recently joined the hitmen field not too long ago. Still young and new to the workforce, it wasn't the first place you figured to enter for some quick cash. But with your astute skills and abilities, no other occupation best suited you. Besides, it wasn't long before people looked past your recent addition and saw what you were made of. Not only were you good at your job, but you were climbing the ranks, swifting past your inferior subordinates.

It's nothing new, though. You were always good at what you do, better than others at what you do. Doing everything perfectly and effortlessly, that was your style. And everybody knew that.

Everybody but a particular individual. A specific man who always overshadowed you. An older man who snatched your attention the first moment he looked your way, the scar on his lip rooted up with the twinge of his lips.

"Rookies lookin' real cute these days, huh, doll?" were his first words to you. And from that day on, you did what you could to get close to him. Even if that meant irritating him.

From taking his missions to acting as a complete thorn in his side, you do whatever it takes to get Toji's attention. Especially his silent pissed off expressions, which are your favorite to see. And don't let your handler tell you that you two would be on a mission together because the teasing would be endless for the poor, experienced hitman.

Just like today, when you two are deployed to kill an old geezer and his goons for a massive sum of money, Toji goes to one side of the old warehouse to thin out the number of bodyguards and heads straight to the target's den, leaving you to the rest. But imagine his surprise when he sees the old man already dead on the chair at his desk, a stiletto pierced right through his neck, evident of his demise as a stream of crimson staining his yellow dress shirt.

And Toji notices a note left on the weapon, the familiar handwriting in pink with a kiss mark already tells him who wrote it. "Gotta be quicker than that, Grandpa ~" is what he reads in your charming voice, and it vexes him knowing you beat him to the punch.

He sees you leaning on a pallet rack when he returns to the warehouse, and you smile when you turn to him. "Well, that was fast," you play coy, stretching when standing straight up. "Took care of those punks like five minutes ago, figured I'd wait on you."

"I got your note." He wastes no time. He's so hot when he does that.

"Oh? Did ya like it~?" Your hand swiftly grabs something that came dangerously close to your temple — your stiletto. It was thrown with the knowledge that you would catch it. So serious, huh.

"Ya know, for someone callin' me a 'grandpa,' you sure act like a damn kid leavin' y'r toys everywhere."

You chuckle at his complaint. "Awww, did I hurt your big boy feelings with my little words?" You see his green eyes watch your every move as you walk up close to him. "Sorry~, not my fault you were too slow to get the final kill."

Toji raises a brow. "How'd ya get to him before me?"

You shrug with a cheeky grin. "Assassins don't tell their secrets, especially when your old head couldn't get it."

It's his turn to chortle. "Oh yeah? Ya think y'r too fast for me?"

"I wouldn't say that, just that you're too slow for me," your hands go up defensively when he takes a step forward, and you try hard to not get turned on by his well-built physique displayed by the shirt that does a terrible job hiding his features. "As a matter of fact, I bet you're slow at other things."

He takes another step forward, and before you register his next move, he already has you pinned to the pallet rack you once leaned against. His smirk grows broader while your eyes widen at the sudden shifting. "Was that too slow fr' you, princess?"

No, absolutely not. That's what you would want to say to him, his tall figure engulfing you under his presence. But you didn't want to let off that easily, your hand finding the crotch of his pants. When verdant eyes shut to the feeling of your fingers brushing against his bulge, you take the chance to say more. "Oh, that was totally too slow for me, geezer. Such a shame; I thought you'd be a lot more fun. But guess I'll have to go on to the next person who could do a better job."

"Mmm, don't start somethin' y'r not ready for, brat." His gruff voice dials to a whisper, your ears replaying the tone, making the throbbing sensation between your legs prosper. You can feel his erection, even with his pants blocking the view. "Good luck findin' someone who'd shut that pretty mouth of y'rs better than I do."

You giggle after grabbing onto his erect cock, forcing the older man to hiss and his face coming down to your level. You whisper to his ear. "And what makes you think a dumb, old, brute-for-brains like you could satisfy me? I fail to see what you're capable of, grandpa." Those were the words you chose to entice the man under your spell.

But what you really failed to see was the predicament you've gotten yourself in.

Lying on a pallet with your back, your pretty bottoms and panties now discarded to the dirty floor, you scream out to the empty warehouse. Tears and drool escape from your face, and the quiver in your legs is evidence of your body going through the absolute most right now. "Haaahh! Ahhhh!! T-Tojiii, Toji, please!! I'm—Hoooohh!!" You grab tufts of raven hair that are stationed between your legs.

The older man holds your legs up with one hand, the other nestled between your slick-coated folds as his middle and forefinger push in and out of your cunt. His tongue licks furiously on your clitoris, your cries evident of the abuse on your tender bud and vulva.

Toji removes the wet muscle and moves his fingers go an instantaneous pace, the tips of his digits scraping your walls resulting in more tears falling off your face without fail. He snickers, "Look at you; all that screamin' and hollerin' like a damn whore have you forgetting simple rules." His thumb finds your clit, pushing down on it every time his fingers are propelled inside. "What did I tell you to call me, brat?"

The unforgiving rhythm of his hand on your bare vulva has you seeing stars and choking on your spit. "I-I'm sorry, Daddy!! I didn't mean to make you mad at me!"

"You sure 'bout that?" His condescending tone matched the devilish twinge of his scarred lips. The digits doing a 'come hither' motion that has your body jerking nowhere, your legs still restrained by his firm arm pushing them to your stomach. "My 'big boy feelings' were crushed with y'r little comments, so here I am gettin' the payback I need. Was acting all high and mighty until I got my mouth on ya."

"But I said—Mmmph!! I'm sorry!" You wail out, your face hot with embarrassment and excitement. "And I already came—Oh fuck...C-Came three times!!"

"You called me names four times, so I expect you to cum one more time, you fuckin' crybaby." He replies coldly, your tears and pleas on deaf ears. "Heh, if I knew havin' my fingers in you like this would have you behavin', I woulda done it earlier. Grippin' on my 'em like a damn slut."

His fingers go faster with no smooth transition as his mouth returns to your soft button, your screams erupting from the back of your exhausted throat. Even with your voice filling the scene, you can only listen to the raunchy noises of the commotion between your thighs. It's enough for you to wish your ears burn at such lewd sounds, and your head pounding worsens the state of your already mushy brain. This is what you wanted all this time — to have the man you've been infatuated with give you the attention to so dearly strived and poked for. However, the intensity of it all was nowhere near what you had expected.

"Nnnmm!! Daddyyy," the title slurred from your mouth feels hot to the tongue, but it's the only way to address him before your punishment intensifies. You peer down to see his black hair come up, fierce emerald eyes taking in your expressions. "It's coming, gonna cum again!!"

"Yeah? Wanna come on my fingers again?" He chortles when you rapidly nod at him, pathetically desperate for your release. "Fine, cum on Daddy's fingers like the slut you are." He moves his hands to the back of your thighs and has his tongue slowly glide up your soapy chasm, tasting your wetness until he reaches your clitoris and attacks the bud more. Circling around and sucking on your precious nub prompts your orgasm to climb up, and it hits you hard when his teeth and tongue grind on your clit.

With final moans of pleasure, you experience your finish with the harsh treatment of Toji's mouth, hands purchasing his hair for faux stability. Your legs tremble with curled toes, and your body jolts with the shocks. And Toji doesn't stop until he licks the slit clean of your essence, slurping up your sensitive folds until his thirst has quenched. All you can do is submit and let him have his way with you, sucking up your fluids from your cunt to the mess of your inner thighs.

"Mmmm, fucking Christ, Y/n," you hear his mumbled curse below. "Taste so fuckin' good, baby..."

Your body soon calms down from the climax, trying to steady your breathing with even breaths. And Toji finally finishes drinking your wetness, drawing his head up to reveal his lips wet with your come, licking it and his fingers. "Bet that wasn't slow fr' ya, huh."

You meekly nod your head. "And I bet nobody's gonna make you shut you up like that, huh?" You nod again.

The smirk on his face scares you, especially when he straightens up to show his erect dick still hard and ready to be free from the tented pants. And when his cock springs out, your sweaty body runs cold immediately.

"Good," he says while bringing you close to him, arranging his cock to your wet entrance. "But we ain't done here." Complaints and pleas aren't able to enter the air because you just watch the tip of his cock bully through the lips of your chasm and enter inside you with ease. He gradually pushes his entire length into you, getting full with every inch as his girth intrudes between your tight, smooth walls.

"Keep up wit' me, baby," his eyes hone in on you, gauging your reactions before he starts moving his hips relentlessly. "because I'm about to show you what I'm really capable of."

[twobluejeans]

HEARTBREAK ON TOUR!

charles leclerc x famous!reader

summary: in which the lavender haze has been lifted. or in which america’s it couple splits.

part 9:foreign affairs, series masterlist

faceclaim: madison beer

ally’s radio 📻: PART 9! anyways, stan y/n l/n for clear skin and good grades!✨😌

INSTAGRAM, july 18

liked by carlossainz, landonoriss, and 12,654,234 others

yourinstagram mood :') gonna cry all day lol. thank you for your warmth. thank you for listening n hearing me. i love you.

View all 64,627 comments

ntltcy/n whoever said the second slide is so real

danielricciardo I said what I said

zendaya ma’am is taking up all 10 spots on the 10 ten…that’s my best friend ❤️!!!

channeleclerc16_ she should just stick to acting…

beyonce well deserved! the song brought actual tears to my eyes

 yourinstagram beyonce  screaming crying shaking…thank u, i love u always

leclerc_pascale beautiful girl congrats

 yourinstagram leclerc_pascale  thank u mama

drewstarkey on repeat i fear 

ferarrileclerc i mean ... since the song is about charles that means he got another number one hit! charles congrats baby!

harrystyles A beautiful song from an even more beautiful person. Congratulations, Y/n/n—H.

ypurinstagram thank u sweet angel. miss you!

redlipclassicy/n harrystyles yourinstagram WHAT THE FUCK

JULY 18, 2023

Lola Ransdell Under Fire for Using the N-Word in Resurfaced Tweets

Not a good look.

BY ALLY JULY 17, 2023 11:15 AM

Lola Randell has some explaining to do. The 25-year-old came under fire on Sunday when Twitter users began resurfacing tweets of the model using the N-word in 2020. The receipts included direct messages and Instagram comments, in which Ransdell called her friends the racial slur, as well as tweets from Ransdell claiming that she could use the N-word because she’s “not white.”

In screenshots resurfaced by the Twitter PopHub, Ransdell can be seen calling someone an “ugly” N-word. The screenshots also include a group chat with some of her friends, in which she is called out for using the N-word. In her response, Randell explains that she can use the derogatory term because she’s not white. (Ransdell’s mother is Brazilian, but that still does not excuse her behavior.) “I’m not white tho so that’s awk,” Ransdell responded.

However, the receipts don’t end there. Along with the first screenshots, some users also resurfaced other old tweets, in which Ransdell said that she returned a “different race” after she spent some time tanning in Florida. (She accompanied the tweet with an emoji of a man with a turban.) Another screenshot also shows Ransdell liking a 2020 meme comparing Jay-Z to a Ransdell. One user also claimed to have a video of Ransdell rapping the N-word, though the audio is unclear.

Ransdell allegedly once tweeted, "leaving to Florida white but coming back to NY a different Race." The statement was accompanied by an emoji of a white blonde man and an emoji of a darker-skinned man wearing a turban.

A post from 2019 read, "With @chanteljefferies and that awkward moment when ur at a Chinese restaurant and your waiter isn't Chinese...."

The following year, she allegedly threatened, "Shut up before I smack you back to your own country!"

Screenshots also show the youtuber allegedly liking an Instagram post from 2018 about how only men and women should marry because the Bible says so.

Then there are the women-hating posts.

Ransdell allegedly liked an undated Instagram post showing a photo of Selena Gomez that posed the question, "Would you smack her for $835 BILLION?!" The person whose reply was featured in the meme read, "I'd smack her for a sweet tea from McDonald's."

In 2018, Ransdell allegedly tweeted about transgendered women" being "wicked slutty."

She's also been accused of openly hating on her boyfriend’s former partner, Y/n L/n.

Once a fan of Charles (and even of Charles and Y/n together), Ransdell  seemingly turned on the 26-year-old singer when "Your/Ship/Name" was on the rocks.She allegedly once followed a Y/n L/n  hate account on Instagram and allegedly favorited/liked a tweet from 2022 that showed a picture of Y/n and read, "She collects guys as if they were infinity stones."

How these receipts surfaced is unclear (many of them are private messages between Ransdell and her friends, so someone must have leaked them on the internet), but it’s certain that people aren’t happy with Ransdell using slur, even as a joke. After the tweets resurfaced, many users took to Twitter to call out Ransdell for her offensive behavior, as well as demand accountability and an apology from her and her Formula One boyfriend, Charles Leclerc. 

SEE MORE RELATED POSTS:

• Charles Leclerc finally addresses messy breakup with Singer Y/n L/n.

•Harry Styles just commented on Y/n L/n’s Instagram post for the first time in 7 years.

• Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince: Harry Styles and Y/n L/n’s relationship timeline

INSTAGRAM, july 18

liked by f1wh0re, corneliastreety/n, and 546,782 others

y/naflorals CHAR!ES SPEAKING ABOUT MOTHER TODAY IN AN INTERVIEW

View all 512 comments

dressy/n no comment.

lewismercedes ur joe king…ur joe. king.

leclerc16charles as a charles fan…idk either i’m sorry

TWITTER, july 18

INSTAGRAM STORIES, july 18

yourinstagram 9m

viewed by charlotee_siine, lewishamilton, and 245,321 others

TWITTER, july 18

ally’s radio 📻:i don’t like this chapter 😞. also pls know that anything that was mentioned within lola’s article is not something i condone!! pls don’t think i’m a bad person, it’s literally only just for the plot😭!! i got inspo off of hailey biebers old tweets sooo. if u see ur username but u weren’t tagged, it’s bc tumblr wouldn’t let me :( if u asked me to tag u and i didn’t, pls send me a message or inbox me bc it might’ve gotten lost 😭 i try to stay up-to-date but sometimes i miss people so pls lmk!!!

taglist 🦢🪩: @incoherenciass@dakotali@405rry@topaz125@sassyheroneckgiant@hevburn@itsmytimetoodream@ivegotparticulartaste@crowdedimagines @asterianax @haydee5010@scenesofobx@christinabae@magical-spit@dessxoxsworld@myareadsbooks@honethatty12@hopefulinlove@diasnohibng@gentlemonsterjennie1@hummusxx@eugene-emt-roe@taestrwbrry @perjarma @cxcewg@chimchimjiminie16@glow-ish@allywthsr @millyswife@mrsmaybank13@black-swan-blog27 @stargaryenx@lilsiz@ohthemisssery@leclerclvr@slytherinjimin3nthusiast@shessthunderstoms@cool-ultra-nerd@ncentic@playboykenz @canvashearts @tinyhrry @xeliaaaa @ifionlywould @gaviypedrisbride @callsignwindow @dhhdhsiavdhaj@chasing-liberosis@laneyspaulding19@a-daydreamersday@saikikusouswife@motorsp0rt@lifesuckslife@shessthunderstoms@drewsandsebastianswife @sainzluvrr@ietss @agustdlvr @sarahkaliii @sweethoneyblossom1@sticksdoesart @ayoanna @c0wgirlswag @ifionlywould @l1ghtaura @ellesmythe @avada-kedavra-bitch-187

[yestrnight]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ OBSESSED WITH UR HYSTERIA !

FROM: yan! afab! househusband! kuni / afab! reader

SUBJECT: kuni thinks you're cheating, and the usual hysteria ensues. this relationship has got lots of red flags, like exhibit a: you absolutely dig it when he chokes you out.

( jealousy, choking, masochistic behavior <- reader, reader's kinda crazy in love, scara is too, toxic relationship, is it toxic tho when you both dig it, tribbing, pussy eating, doujin shit once again )

your pretty lil husband is honestly too pretty for his own good.

when you first met him, your seatmate in highschool with too much talent and too little humility, you instantly became a sucker for those haughty purple eyes. you tried to be nice— you can't be a scholarship student acting like a delinquent, now can you?— but scara was… mean. cruel, even. he sneered whenever you were within the vicinity, claiming he might pass out from the stench of gutter, and laughed when you tried to ask him to teach you the lesson. 

"is the charity student trying to leech off of me?" he had said one time. "you'd be better off cleaning dishes in my house than wasting your time trying to get a future you'll never have."

you think that was the catalyst… of whatever you've become. because as soon as he walked out the door and your friends came scurrying over trying to comfort you, the old [y. name] died, and something more perverse took over.

you wanted him to ruin you.

you're not a masochist, by all means. you like your arms clean, your neck unmarked, but fuck it's just so fucking different when scara— kuni, now— has his pretty hands wrapped tightly around your bare throat.

"admit it!" he screams, glaring at you with tears and an unmatched expression of hatred and betrayal. "you're fucking your boss, i fucking know it!"

you're grinning, even as your vision becomes blurry from the deprivation of air. laughing, actually, though they barely register in your ears now. you want him carnally that it's actually become instinct. you should be prying his hands off, screaming for help, but you're desperate for more.

"you know that's not right, baby," you coo. "you're the only one i love. i swear to archons and beyond, you're the only person i'd ever love."

then the grip he has on you softens, though the bitterness in his eyes hasn't quite calmed yet. of course you love him— if you hadn't, you would have filed for a divorce long ago with all the shit he does to you. but you dig it, you're fucking in love with him and the way he treats you, and you'd think that he should've known this a long time ago already. but he isn't because kuni's fucking crazy. 

guess what, you're even fucking crazier.

"you're a liar," he whispers to you. his purple hair brushes your cheek as he stares down at you eerily. "i don't believe you."

with the way you're grinning like a goddamn maniac? you don't blame him. but you feel that same grin split your cheek as it widens, and your cunt drooling as he straddles you.

"sorry then," you croak, hearts in your eyes like your husband isn't one choke away from killing you. "how do i make it up to you then, babe?"

usually it's you who's eating out scara like a man starved, pinching and rubbing at his t-dick as you watch him scream and rut into your mouth. he forces you to make out with his pussy by pulling your hair towards it, breathless whines about how good you make him feel and how he wants more. now the tables have turned, and it's scara digging his nails into your thighs and fucking your pussy with his tongue like there's no tomorrow. he has none of the care you have when you eat him out, but still all with all the passion and fervor. 

"you're mine, you're mine, you're mine, you're mine!" scara growls against your leaking cunt, slurping your essence and letting it smear on his lips. you're in love with the image before you— kuni's angry and teary eyes glaring up at you, lips shiny with slick. "you're supposed to be my partner! i'm the one you married!"

"y–yeah, you are, kuni!" you whimper as he plunges two delicate fingers into your warm hole and curls them. "you're the only one i'll ever love!"

now you could obviously make him a tad more jealous. tease him with some lies about fucking your boss like how he assumes. that'd probably break him and push him over the edge, set an even harder pace that both you and him would enjoy. but you can't bring yourself to say such repulsive things, not when they're against the very nature of your existence. so instead you plead and whisper your love to him while he berates and admonishes you, and you enjoy every single second of it.

he sets a cruel and hard pace, pounding away at you just as good as any dick. you can feel his eyes watching your expression, and you want to watch him too. but the way he has you writhing and arching on your bed, panting as you rut into his fingers— why, you can barely even make sense of the ceiling.

"ggghhh, ngh, kuniii~♡" you whine, sobbing as you rock back into his cruel fingers. "close, close, m' so cloooseee!" archons, you're on another plane of euphoria as he keeps hitting that spot again and again and again. you're seeing stars, and you can hear your keened pitch mixed with lighthearted laughter. close… so close…!

then his fingers pull away, and you scream-sob at the loss of pleasure. dick. but not unexpected. but what a fucking dick.

he smirks down at you, a mirror image of that sadistic high school student you fell in love with years ago. these days he's softened, more huffy and shrieky, but this just proves that he's still got that bully streak you fell for. "you're not cumming without me," he whispers, staring straight at you as his fingers slip into the waistband of his shorts. he pulls it down to reveal his smooth thighs and hairless pussy, and fuck you could come from just the sight alone. 

fluttering pink pussy crying slick down his thighs, he shallowly dips two fingers into his hole as his half-lidded eyes eat up your panting and shaking fugure. "you're so pretty," he murmurs, lifting one leg to straddle you again. you groan as you feel his bare cunt squishing against your skin. "it makes sense why so many people want you… you're cool, you're hardworking, and you have this…thing that makes people obsessed with you." he caresses your cheek, twirling a strand of hair around his fingers. "it's worked on me. worked on those stupid men in high school. even at work i can see those filthy cretin staring at you as if you don't have a ring on your finger."

you shiver when his voice dips into a hateful hiss. before you can even ask how he knows that people at work stare, he leans in for a kiss. it's cute and simple at first, the ones that kuni gives when you walk out the door because he's too shy to give anything more. but then it becomes more fervent and passionate, the sum of all his hate and annoyance towards anyone who'd dare lay their eyes on you. he bites at your lip, clashes his teeth against yours, sucks on your tongue till you're sobbing into the kiss. when he pulls away, it's with a triumphant smirk as he stares at your tear-streaked face.

"not laughing right now, are you?" he sneers, wiping the spit on his lips with the back of his hand. "don't worry, babe." he laughs at the foreign endearment. "i'll fuck you so hard you'll be my brainless, laughing slut at the end of the night, yeah?"

"kuni," you whimper, not even trying to be shameless about it when you try to roll back against his sopping cunt. "i love you, only you. you know that!"

his eyes visibly soften, and once more he's just kuni, not scara. "i know," he murmurs, positioning himself at your cunt. your breath hitches when you can feel the heat of his slit on yours. just bareely touching, and you're going crazy over how close to pleasure you are. "you like to act like you're the one calling the shots around the house, fool yourself into thinking that you're the breadwinner while your pretty lil wife waits at home for you stewing in his jealousy and obsession. when in reality…"

his smirk grows as he watches your heart-eyed expression. "you're just as fucking obsessed with me as i am with you, huh?"

not waiting for a response, he grinds his cunt into you, and both of you keen at the same time. he keeps thrusting into your heat, sliding your folds together and letting the fluids slick against each other. lewd squelching fills the air as you two pant and groan against each other, pussy lips making out with each other. you see stars everytime his clit meets yours, and when he sees your head throw back, he grins and grinds down once again for added measure.

"you're so, hah, fucking wet…" kuni simpers, trying his best to sound stable even though his tongue's just barely peeking out from the pleasure. "nggh, are you that turned on from me manhandling you? i could feel your slick through your panties when i was choking you." you let out a eager moan when his pussy slides just right against yours. "archons… i knew you were fucked up."

"s–sorry," you pant out, trying to match his rhythm. he grabs your leg and stills it, shooting you a cocky glance as he continues to lead the pace.

"hmph, apologizing for something you can't and won't change?" gosh, gosh, gosh, his pussy squelches against yours, and even more when he starts rubbing his own clit. you can feel his slick coming out in small spurts. "don't worry. i like it that way. you're fucked up just for me, right?"

"mmhmm," your body is shaking as you nod. "all for you. just for you, kuni."

"you'd kill for me, right?" you nod even more passionately. the expression on his face is downright wicked. "if i told you to drive a knife through your bastard of a boss, you'd do that, right?"

"anything for my pretty husband," you murmur, eyes fixed on kuni's finger rubbing his engorged clit. when they pull away, the trace of slick connects them both. "i love you too much, kuni."

there it is. you've been doing nothing but whisper of your undying love for him all night, but this confession was the one to hit the spot. he didn't want you to just love him. he wanted to make sure that you could think of nothing but your love for him, to attach your soul to his like how he had the moment you two kissed on that school rooftop. he'd burn down the world for you— he wanted you to do the same.

smiling in triumph, he shoots you a haughty look— as if he wasn't just insecure about this and he was so sure of your love for him all this time. "of course you do," he sneers. "where would you be without me?"

going back to his rough pace, he continues to rock into your heat. his fingers slide from his clit to yours, and he rubs circles on it to coax a climax out of you. "come on," he pants. "you're gonna come for me, right? squirt all over my pussy, yeah? i'm so wet for you, only you. you better pay me back."

"cum, cum, cummingggg~♡" you sob. your hands find his and your fingers intertwine. you don't see it, but his eyes widen with the slightest inch before pouting in an adorable blush. "ku~uniii, 'm gonna cumm~!"

"on my pussy, come on," he groans. "let it all out."

something in your stomach snaps, and you're arching into his heat too as kuni tugs on your clit and you start squirting all over him. he makes sure to press his pussy against yours even harder, kissing your lower lips so that his hole can swallow up every drop from you. 

"fuck, fuck, fuck, you're so hot," kuni hisses. he pulls away from you and swings his leg over your mouth. he's absolutely fucking dripping— with your slick or his, you don't know, don't care. he pulls your hair to lead your mouth against that pretty pink hole, fluttering eagerly for you to make out with. "come on, bitch," he hisses. "give me a proper apology. eat me out, just like that, yeah, come on."

he doesn't need to order you around— it's basic instinct for you to eat such a warm cunt when it's in front of you. he's rocking against you as your tongue fucks in and out of that hole, head thrown back in ecstasy. "archons, you eat me out so good. ugh, mmngh, cum, cumming~♡"

biting slightly at his clit and tugging it, you elicit a high-pitched squeak form him before opening your mouth. he squirts slick into your mouth too, pressing down to force you to swallow everything he has to offer. you can hear him laughing and groaning above you, smiling down at you in that manic smile he wears when caught in the throes of mind-numbing pleasure.

pulling at your hair, he tugs you away from his cunt with a lewd squelch, and grins down at you.

"put your boss on video call," he demands, taking pleasure in the way your eyes widen but dilate in pure lust. "i'm sure he'd be happy to see two pussies fucking each other for him.

tags: @scara6

[zombvic]

TINDER IRL PART one (harry lewis x reader)

summary : in which y/n gets invited to the sidemen tinder irl (usa edition) and meets a certain brit and their instant friendship slowly progresses into something bigger

face claim : no one right now (kendall jenner later)

notes : reader is like a 2019 ICON like disstracks against the paul brothers, ricegum etc.. now STILL doing youtube but on a much more lowkey basis. also im sorry but i had to add that the reader is an f1 fan IM SORRY (im locked in as an f1 girlie) 😵 yall im not american or even close to a native english speaker (#slavicstruggles) but i tried making the readeramerican cause i tried to do the american la gf x british bloke bf xx god bless 'merica RAAAAAH. also i used lines from like all the videos and made my own cause the lines from this video were insane.. last also, don't be a ghost reader 🧟‍♂️🧟‍♂️

pairings : harry lewis x reader , sidemen x platonic!reader , all the other youtuber in the videos x platonic!reader

warnings : drugs (ketamine joke)

You got invited to the SIDEMEN Tinder In Real Life youtube video. You are acutely aware to what the Sidemen are and you've seen their videos before. Now to be fair, the genres between your channel and their channels were pretty different. The Sidemen were known for football challenges, those 100$ vs 100,000$ challenges and other things with a similar vibe. You on the other hand, you did vlogs, lifestyle hack and tips, in your time you've achieved some disstracks and occasionally broke down some formula 1 grand prix weekend.

The moment you saw the instagram dm from the Sidemen official account you weren't sure how to react. Should you be excited? scared? worried? yeah.. all. It was the Sidemen, Logan Paul, Mike and George (idk who Mike and George but who cares).

Eventually you accepted the offer and waited till the day you had to be "picked up" by kinda random men for 5 minutes straight. The day came, you got dressed for the video shoot, they made you wait with the other girls until they called your name and then you walked in.

"Hi, I'm (your name). I'm 24 and i'm from Newark, New Jersey" (go devs go) You've practiced that line like 50 times before you left, not because you wanted to come out of this video with a new man but because you didn't want to embarrass yourself lmao.

"Hi, I'm Vikk. I'm 26 and are you from Tennessee, because you're the only ten i see"

"Would've been funny if i hadn't just said im from New Jersey dude, no sorry"

"Hello, I'm Logan-"

"No. Complicated history" you said as you swiped left.

"One chance please"

"Alright, BUT u gotta watch it tho"

"Okay. SO. If i were a pizza delivery guy, i'd be giving YOU the tip"

"Ew no sorry lmfao.. that was weak as fuck"

"Alright wow, Hello, I'm Tobi. I'm 31 and they say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?"

"Sure go on.. yes. I love that"

Hello, My name is Ethan and let only latex stand between our love.

"Yeah thats funny.. alright, go on"

"Yo, I'm KSI. I'm 30 and you know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Well.. Not in my case."

"Lmao, yes go on"

“Hello, I'm Mike. I'm 37 and girl, you don't need no vibrator when you got this Pickled Dick.”

"Jesus Christ. No, get out"

"Hi, My name is Simon and.. Simon says you want to swipe right"

"Lmao. I love that, Yes"

"Sup, I'm George and I’m peanut butter. You’re jelly. Let’s have sex"

"Jeeesus, that’s crazy bro... no"

"Hello, My name is Josh and I find your lack of nudity disturbing"

"No, I'm so sorry" (guys i love freya sm i couldnt do this)

"Uhm, Hello. I'm Harry. I'm 26 years old and what do ketamine and your underpants have in common?"

"I don't know" you said looking at the blonde-ish man confused.

"I'd like to sniff them both."

The whole room fell into a laughter, you included. "Yes"

"BUT I GET A NO?" Logan exclaims. "What a scam"

WHY DID YOU SAY NO?

(NO : Logan, Josh, Mike, Vikk and George)

"For Logan i think we left this in 2019 and rightfully so. For Josh i dont really know tbh, i just thought his line couldve been better. Mike, i think you know why i said no. Vikk.. Im gonna be honest i dont even remember what youve said but im sure i had my reasons and George, you couldve been waaaaaay smoother mate.. tough luck"

YALL. this is part one because i cant be arsed and put it all right here right now 😁😁😁