#I'm a death freak who thinks reincarnation is romantic

[merbear25]

Until Eternity

Are you mistaken? You could have sworn you'd seen him before. Nothing springs to mind, but there's certainly a familiarity lingering behind his eyes. I love the song "Until Eternity" by Blackbriar and was inspired...

Law

SFW, gn!reader

Time has often been described as a circle—never ending, always pushing forward. And love has, by some, been called 'fleeting'.

"Dare to dream," you're told. But not of love. "Don't dare dream of such frivolous things for doing so will only lead to disappointment."

Those words buzz in your head as your eyes meet ones which held a dark interest. To think that those warnings of love resurfaced at that instance, from a meer glance.

Even so, you catch yourself sneeking looks at him, his gaze never breaking away from you. Despite the intensity of his eyes burrowing into you, you felt no discomfort. In fact, it got you wondering, "Haven't I seen him before?"

Looking back at him, he hasn't moved from his spot across the bar. Your body is drawn towards him and you're pulled to your feet. The hesitation in your step isn't from intimidation but from the curious feeling of knowing him strengthening.

"How do I know you?" you whisper to yourself. However, you were close enough to be audible to the man in question.

"We've never met," his icy tone made you recoil.

Your embarrassment spread across your face in a shade of crimson. Regretting the actions leading up to this point, you give him a meek apology.

"You look familiar to me too, though," his tone went unchanged.

"It's curious isn't it?" You start, taking this opportunity to have a seat. "It feels as if I've come across you in a dream." Realizing how childish of an example that is, you attempt to support it, "They say that those you see in your dreams are never figmants of your imagination. They're always of people you've seen before."

"Is that right?" his skepticism was more than apparent. "Do you believe that?"

"It doesn't seem too farfetched. There are far crazier things to believe, I guess."

"Such as?"

"Well, soulmates, for starters," saying that didn't quite sit well with you but realistically, how could it be true?

The chill from his demeanor nipped at you as a low chuckle passed through his lips and a smirk crept onto his face, all of which placing a feeling of uncertainty upon your shoulders.

You ball your hands up in your lap and shoot back with, "Well, what's your explanation then?"

His face reverted back to its stoic nature. Pondering the possibilities, he was unable to give much of a counter argument.

Choosing to be the one to break the silence, you inform, "Look, neither of us know why. All I can say is that there's an eerie familiarity from your eyes and, now that we've spoken a bit, also from your voice."

The intensity from him was persistant.

"But maybe it's just one-sided," your posture stiffened and you turned to get out of your seat.

"It's not."

"Sorry?"

"It's not just you. I've never been one to believe in such things, but there's sure to be some reason to it all."

The subtle shift in his voice made you feel more at ease.

"Supposing soulmates do exist," he continued, maintaining eye contact, "I don't see any harm in getting to know this version of each other."

He extended his hand. The out-of-place formality of it made you giggle, and you gladly took it. "Name's Law. And you are...?"

[sapphire-dreamsky]

I’m Back

I'm Back

Starring: Undertaker, Reader, Ciel Phantomhive (Mentioned), Sebastian Michaelis (Mentioned)

Pairing: Undertaker/Female!Reader

***Trigger Warnings: Suicide, Death, Illness***

A/N: I made up a brief Background for the Undertaker. So he might be a little OOC (I’m sorry.) The story is somewhat a reincarnation and soulmate AU. The Undertaker and the Reader are insinuated to be Soulmates, they recognise each other even if they were separated for so long. The reader also retains her memories of him and their past. It's her first reincarnation since her death.

Undertaker hates his eyes. The lime green phosphorescent eyes staring back at him is a constant reminder of the sin he committed centuries ago. But he does not only hate his eyes because of that. No. He hated his eyes even back before he became a reaper. They were odd. He was called so many names because of them. He was a freak back when he was human. Ironically, even now, things didn’t change much. ‘Quite the opposite,’ the Undertaker muses with a wide cynical smile which always sent people running away from him, ‘ I now embrace that freakiness.’ He now loves being the freak that society will always shun away. No matter the era, no matter the ruler, no matter how much people claim to have changed, taking pride into being more open-minded, people like him will always be shunned for behaving oddly. 

His past is not something the Undertaker likes to discuss. He stays away from the subject all the time. But in moments when people would ask, he would always divert the subject and make them so uncomfortable that they regret ever asking. That was the norm for him. People thought that he was a fugitive because of his scars. In a way, they were partly right. He ran away from the shinigami world. ‘And you ran from reality,’ a voice in his head reminds him bitterly. There were not many times that the normally cheerful Undertaker would frown and close upon himself. He appeared even more frightening to people that way. People who knew enough about him knew that he was in direct competition with the Cheshire Cat and the Mad Hatter. They were certain he was trying to out-grin them. 

But in moments like these, when he would take an impromptu trip down the memory lane, he would be so quiet and still that you would wonder if he didn’t die on the spot. His mind torments him. His mind reminds him of what could never be any more. Of what he ruined when he decided to kill himself. He wonders if he would ever meet the only soul who truly and genuinely cared for him again. ‘That’s highly unlikely. Remember what they said. You disrupted your reincarnation. It’s forever goodbye to (y/n).’ 

Ah, (y/n). Sweet, innocent ( ‘Perhaps naive’ he muses snickering to himself fondly), (y/n). With eyes shining so brightly with life that they could rival with the stars above. He could spend hours staring at the back when he was a human. For her, he was a sappy romantic fool ( ‘Like Romeo. Oh how fitting that character is for him. Thanks Shakespeare’). But he didn’t mind being sappy. What could a few more snickering from his peers do to his already bruised self? Nothing. But she, oh so precious (y/n) was an angel to him. She defended him when he couldn’t care less what they said about him. All that mattered was her and her angelic smile. He needed nothing more.

But life isn’t that sweet, ( ‘It could use some sugar cubes,’ Undertaker bitterly thinks). She was taken too early. She didn’t deserve to die. Each time the Undertaker thinks back to their sweet moments spent together, they always without fault, get tainted by their last time together. Oh how he hated how sickly pale she was, ( ‘Like a corpse,’ he notes, casting an empty glance at the corpse laying on his wooden table, waiting to be put in one of his caskets.) Her hand was frail and trembling. The town’s doctor couldn’t figure out what she had. It looked like a simple cold with a fever. They did everything they could to save her. Undertaker turned to God. Pleaded desperately day and night, her sickly burning figure tucked to his side while he was kissing her forehead, trying to reassure her as much as him that she would be alright. He pleaded and promised to dedicate his life to Him if it meant she would live to see another day. But nothing. She died on a cold night. She left and took him with her. He was certain he died with her that day. Her funeral was small. He didn’t have much money left to make it into one that she deserved. She deserved more than to be buried at the top of that hill under that willow tree. She deserved more than anything he could give her. 

That night, his life left with her. He went to work on the next day. He took care of everything at work as usual but his eyes were sparingly empty. He did everything automatically, the motions repeated from memory.

It was when he came back home that it hit him like the cold of the harsh December. There was no sweet smell of the broth she mastered during their early years of marriage. There was no ‘Welcome Back’ which would always warm him upon entering the threshold. There was only silence. A deathly silence. He finally cracked. He went to her fresh tomb, some snow already covering the ground. He remembers feeling cold. He remembers kneeling in front of the stone, head on the tombstone, apologizing to her amidst crying. He was weak, ( ‘I’m still weak,’ the Undertaker remarks to himself.) And then he sealed his fate. His heart already left with her anyway. He had no children, his parents were already dead. He had nothing that tied him to this world anymore. And so, his soul was reincarnated and punished. His eyes became inhuman. If (y/n) miraculously found him again, she would not recognize him. He looks nothing like the man she used to love and hold to her heart. And that hurts him more than the days he got each scar which marred his skin forever. So, he prays that she never stumbles onto him should her soul be reincarnated in London. If she did reincarnate here, she would inadvertently come to him one day or another. She would either be purchasing a coffin from him (he hopes it’s this one), or worse, a nightmare he would have to relive again, (his poor old soul won’t be able to withstand this one) her death. This time again, he would have to prepare her for her final moments. His arms will hold her one last time before putting her in one of his coffins. He would have to bury her and hide his tears. He would not be able to grieve openly as he once did since he wouldn’t know her in this lifetime. He would have to pretend, put on a face, a smile which he would come to hate this time. 

No. He prays that he would never encounter her again each night. Should he come across her, he would be delighted to see her alive and smiling with that dashing smile of her. He would be delighted to see her eyes shine again even if they were not directed towards him. 

But fate works in strange ways. He was certain he would never meet her again. His superiors at the Shinigami Dispatch drilled into his head that he spoiled every chance he had to meet her again after committing suicide that dreary night.

He was humming to himself, ignoring the creeping cold of December. Oh, how he hates that season, ( She loved it. She loved the snow, the cold.) The day was unusually quiet. No Earl and that dreadful stinking butler visiting him for information. Nothing to stop his mind from wandering again like last month. After reminiscing, he promised not to that again. It is time to let go. He only hopes to not encounter her as a corpse if they were to meet again. His soul can withstand seeing her happy with someone else. As long as he does not have to see her dead, or hurt, anything was better. But his plans were thrown out of the window as soon as that familiar feeling which he always got with her creep into his soul. The doorbell followed right after. Oh, Lord. He turns around, breath hitching as soon as they meet sparkling (y/e/c) staring back at him. She grins, extends her hand, and with a soft cheerful voice which could only belong to her, says, ‘I’m Back!’. The shock quickly left, and with tears streaming down his face, his trembling hand extended to touch her. The contact pleasantly burned him. ‘She is real. She is not a mere figment of my messed up mind.’ She holds his hand to her chest, on her heart, and brushes away his tears with her free hand. ‘I’m sorry I’m late. Let’s make up the most time we have together, yes?’ He could only nod with an ear-splitting smile. His doll is back, and that was the only thing which mattered.

[dangermousie]

Heelo mousie! Love your blog! Do you mind recommending some of your favourite Chinese BL novels or shows?

I've seen the untamed and read it. I'm currently reading heaven's official blessing and I saw the donghua. Anything other than these two?

Awww, thank you!

Novels: I am gonna be lazy and literally copy/paste the entire danmei section of my top 10 web novels post (except MXTX’s stuff since you are already reading it.) Let me know if you need help finding any of these.

Lord Seventh - I am only partway through this so far, but it’s already on the list because it’s smart and somehow intense AND laid-back (not sure how this works, but it does) and is honestly just a really really solid and smart period novel, with the OTP a cherry on top of a narrative sundae. Plus, I love the concept of MC deciding he is not going for his supposedly fated love - he’s tried for six lifetimes, always with disaster, and he’s just plain done and tired. When he opens his life in his seventh reincarnation and sees the person he would have given up the world for, he genuinely feels nothing at all. (Spoiler - his OTP is actually a barbarian shaman this time around, thank you Lord!)

Golden Stage - my perfect comfort novel. Probably the least angsty of any danmei novel on this list (which still means plenty angsty :P) It also has a dedicated, smart OTP that is an OTP for the bulk of the book - I think you will notice that in most of the novels in this list, I go for “OTP against the world” trope - I can’t stand love triangles and the same. Anyway, Fu Shen, is a famous general whose fame is making the emperor   antsy. When he gets injured and can’t walk any more, the emperor gladly recalls him and marries him off to his most faithful court lackey, the head of sort of secret police, Yan Xiaohan. The emperor intends it both  as a check on the general and a general spite move since the two men   always clash in court whenever they meet. But not all is at is seems. They used to be  friends a long time ago, had a falling out, and one of the loveliest  parts of the novel is them finding their way to each other, but there is  also finding the middle path between their two very different  philosophies and ways of being, not to mention solving a conspiracy or  dozen, and putting a new dynasty on the throne, among other things. It always makes me think, a little, of “if Mei Changsu x Jingyan were canon.”

Sha Po Lang - if you like a lot of fantasy politics and world-building and steampunk with your novels, this one is for you. This one is VERY plot-heavy with smart, dedicated characters and a deconstruction of many traditional virtues - our protagonist Chang Geng, a long-lost son of the Emperor, is someone who wants to modernize the country but also take down the current emperor his brother for progress’ sake and the person he’s in love with is the general who saved him when he was a kid who is nominally his foster father. Anyway, the romance is mainly a garnish in this one, not even a big side dish, but the relationship between two smart, dedicated, deadly individuals with very different concepts of duty is fascinating long before it turns romantic. And if you like angst, while overall it’s not as angsty as e.g., Meatbun stuff, Chang Geng’s childhood is the stuff of nightmares and probably freaks me out more than anything else in any novel on this list, 2ha included.

To Rule In a Turbulent World (LSWW) - gay Minglan. No seriously. This is how I think of it. it’s a slice of life period novel with fascinating characters and  setting that happens to have a gay OTP, not a romance in a period  setting per se and I always prefer stories where the romance is not the only thing that is going on. It’s meticulously written and smart and deals with  character development and somehow makes daily minutia fascinating. Our   protagonist, You Miao, is the son of a fabulously wealthy merchant,   sent to the capital to make connections and study. As the story starts, he sees his friend’s  servants beating someone to death, feels bad, and buys him because, as  we discover gradually and organically, You Miao may be wealthy and  occasionally immature but he is a genuinely good person. The person he buys is a barbarian from beyond the wall, named   Li Zhifeng. It’s touch and go if the man will survive but eventually he does and You Miao, who by then has to return home, gives him his papers  and lets him go. However, LZF decides to stick with You Miao instead, both  out of sense of debt for YM saving his life and because he genuinely  likes him (and yet, there is no instalove on either of their parts, their bodies have fun a lot quicker than their souls.) Anyway, the two  take up farming, get involved in  the imperial exams and it’s the life of prosperity and peace, until an invasion happens and things go rapidly to hell. This is so nuanced, so smart (smart people in this actually ARE!) and has secondary characters who are just as complex as the mains (for example, I ended up adoring YM’s friend, the one who starts the plot by almost beating LZF to death for no reason) because the novel never forgets that few people are all villain. There is a lovely character arc or two - watching YM grow up and LZF thaw - there is the fact that You Miao is a unicorn in web novels being laid back and calm. This whole thing is a masterpiece.

Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - want the emotional hit of 2ha but want to read something half its length? Well, the author of 2ha is here to eviscerate you in a shorter amount of time. This has the beautiful world-building, plot twists that all make sense and, at the center of it all, an intense and all-consuming and gloriously painful relationship between two generals - one aristocratic loner Mo Xi, and the other gregarious former slave general Gu Mang. Once they were best friends and lovers, but when the novel starts, Gu Mang has long turned traitor and went to serve the enemy kingdom and has now been returned and Mo Xi, who now commands the remnants of his slave army, has to cope with the fact that he has never been able to get over the man who stabbed him through the heart. Literally. This novel has a gorgeously looping structure, with flashbacks interwoven into present storyline. There is so much love and longing and sacrifice in this that I am tearing up a bit just thinking of it. If you don’t love Mo Xi and Gu Mang, separately and together, by the end of it, you have no soul.

The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha/erha) - if you’ve been following my tumblr for more than a hot second, you know my obsession with this novel. Honestly, even if I were to make a list of my top 10 novels of any kind, not just webnovels, this would be on the list. It has everything I want - a complicated, intricate plot with an insane amount of plot twists, all of which are both unexpected and make total sense, a rich and large cast of characters, a truly epic OTP that makes me bawl, emotional intensity that sometimes maxes even me out and so much character nuance and growth. Also, Moran is my favorite web novel character ever, hands down.

Anyway, the plot (or at least the way it first appears) is that the evil emperor of the cultivation world, Taxian Jun, kills himself at 32 and wakes up in the body of his 16 year old self, birth name Moran. Excited to get a redo, Moran wants to save his supposed true love Shimei, whose death the last go-around pushed him towards evil. He also wants to avoid entanglement with Chu Wanning, his shizun and sworn enemy in past life. And that’s all you are best off knowing, trust me. The only hint I am going to give is oooh boy the mother of all unreliable narrators has arrived!

The novel starts light and funny on boil the frog principle - if someone told me I would be full bawling multiple times with this novel, I’d have thought they were insane, but i swear my eyes hurt by the end of it. I started out being amused and/or disliking the mains and by the end I would die for either of them.

The Wife is First - OK, this one did not make my top 10 web novels but it’s a sweet, fun gay cottagecore fest. Our ML, a royal prince, and his spouse, a smart if delicate aristocrat, keep house, eat noodles, play with their pet tiger, make out and spoil each other rotten, while occasionally fighting battles and outwitting their court enemies. It’s so very mellow. That couple redefines low drama - they are both nice and functional and use their brains. It’s as if a nice jock and a nice nerd got together and then proceeded to be wholesome all over the place.

I mean, the set up could be dramatic - our ML the prince, lost his fight for the throne and is about to be killed. The only person who stayed loyal to him is his arranged husband the aristocrat guy who ML never treated nicely since he resented marrying him (marrying a man in that world is done to remove someone from the ability to inherit the throne.) And yet the husband stood by him not out of love but beliefs in loyalty blah blah. Anyway, he transmigrates back into the past right after their wedding night and is all “I got a second chance OMG! I don’t want the throne what is even the point? I want to live a good long life and treat the only person who stood by me really well!” And he proceeds to do so to the shock of the aristocrat who had a very unpleasant wedding night and generally can tell the man he just married would rather eat nails than be married to him. But soon enough (no seriously, it’s not many chapters at all) he believes the prince is sincere blah blah and then  they get together and they pretty much become cottagecore goals.

In terms of dramas, I only do period dramas (or novels) so I am not the person to be able to recommend any modern BLs. There is a flood of upcoming (hopefully) period BL dramas but it’s relatively thin on the ground now. The two I will recommend is Word of Honor (which is AMAZING) and Winter Begonia (which I just started watching but which owns me already.) I have a tag for both - the one for the former is huge and I cannot recommend either strongly enough. I’ve heard good things about The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty, but I am not big on mysteries so haven’t watched it for myself.

In terms of the upcoming BLs, the ones I am most looking forward to are Immortality and Winner Is King, but The Society of the Four Leaves also looks promising.